Authenticity is a mosaic, convoluted and manifold concept that is often used in various situations, like relationships, personal identity, products, and art.

The meaning of authenticity

Authenticity is about being bonafide, absolute, true, sincere, and genuine.  The meaning of being authentic is when an individual is true to oneself and one’s core values, beliefs, morals, conscience, and principles, rather than conforming to societal norms, pressures, and expectations. An authentic person is someone who behaves, speaks, and acts in a way that aligns with their true nature, without putting on a facade or pretending to be someone they’re not. An authentic person is not a people pleaser. An authentic person swims against the tide.

Authenticity vs fake and ungenuine

Once a month, I get an email from a friend about his prayer life and what he is learning. We have known each other for more than three decades. Never a call. Never to see how we are doing. Even when Debbie was going through cancer, never a hint, to see how we were doing or drop by. But the email comes once a month, challenging us to love, deny ourselves and study scripture.

I have another friend who changes an organization every two or three years. The leaders are not up to mark. The way people do things is wrong. Everything is wrong.

There was a point when I was mentoring a few men. One of the men was overly critical of me. He was in his late 30s and was literally chasing teenagers. He had an Asian background and wanted a Canadian wife. I set him up on a few dates but they were never good. He took off to the States, found someone, and married her. The wife left him, accused him and my friend ended up in prison. You think my friend would have learned his lesson. I ran into him in Toronto and he was on the hunt again for a new wife. I kept quiet.  I found out later he got married again. The second wife left him with two kids and disappeared.

Insecurity is the root of evil

Insecure humans project their own insecurities, fears, and shortcomings onto others.  Humans with low self-esteem or insecurity engage in criticizing or finding faults in others as a way to deflect attention away from their own perceived flaws. This behavior can also be a way to gain a sense of superiority or control over others, as pointing out faults can give them a feeling of power.  Insecure people are attracted to Christian cults. It gives them a sense of security. You have made it, others have not. You have the right doctrine, others do not. These insecure people spend their whole life attending their spiritual organizations and are not transformed.

What I was offering to my friend was constructive criticism and feedback which was essential and crucial for personal and collective growth. The feedback was genuine with good intentions.

In interpersonal relationships, authenticity refers to open, honest, and genuine communication and emotional expression. Authentic relationships are built on trust and sincerity, where individuals can be themselves without fear of judgment or rejection.

Belonging vs Fitting In

When you belong to a group of friends you are accepted into a unique social, cultural, or community-based entity. There is a sense of affiliation and connection with others who share common characteristics, interests, values, or goals. Belonging goes beyond mere membership; it implies a deeper emotional connection and identification with the group. People who belong to a group often feel a sense of support, validation, and security from being part of that group. This sense of belonging can contribute positively to one’s self-esteem and overall well-being. This is an example of authenticity.

Fitting in, on the other hand, refers to conforming to the norms, behaviors, and expectations of a particular group in order to be accepted and avoid standing out. It involves adjusting one’s behavior, appearance, or attitude to align with the prevailing standards of the group. Fitting in can sometimes be driven by a desire to avoid social rejection or criticism. Fitting in involves suppressing certain aspects of one’s identity to conform to the group’s norms. This is not an example of authenticity and results in depression, cognitive dissonance, trauma, and health issues.

I truly believe that we put ourselves on the treadmill of performance that is driven by external pressure. In a fake world dominated by social media, authenticity is valued for its ability to bring forth honesty, sincerity, and a sense of realness. People often seek authentic experiences, relationships, and products because they resonate with their core values and provide a sense of connection and meaning. Authenticity demands self-awareness, introspection, the desire and courage to be vulnerable and embrace one’s true self.

One of the questions I get asked very often is how come I have had so many friends since kindergarten, how come the blog is so successful, what are the secrets to my marriage and how come I am good in sales. The truth lies in being authentic.

What is authentic living and an authentic person?

The post Empower your life with authenticity appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

Paula Novella is a blogger based in Melbourne, Australia. We catch up and talk about honesty, integrity, and what her blog is all about.

Paula, please share a little about yourself.

I am a 52-year-old who has been focused on living a healthy lifestyle for the last few years. I wrote my first story one year before I published it, but very happy I did!

What is your blog about? What is unique about it and who is your audience?

My blog is a health and well-being blog and I think what sets it apart is that I want to engage with my readers. I named the blog ‘shared stories’ because I want the blog to be interactive. A platform for everyone to ‘share’ their ‘story’ and for this reason my audience is everyone!

Why did you get into blogging?

I started blogging because I love to write and can’t believe how much ‘stuff’ I had in my head.

Talk to me about the city you live in? The food scene…restaurants and why we should visit it?

I live in Melbourne, Australia which is a great city with an abundance of nightlife, restaurants, and bars, not to mention the music scene available.

What does women empowerment mean to you?

Women’s empowerment is especially important because not all women are able to achieve without it.

Life is challenging. Help me understand something you have been through, what you learned from it and how you dealt with it?

My mother’s death when I was a young 19-year-old totally changed my life and I know that had she not left me when I was just starting my life I would be a totally different person to who I am today.

What are some values in life that you stick by?

I believe that integrity and honesty are two very important qualities in a person.  I try to live my life respecting everyone’s right to their opinions but try very hard to not let that get in their or my way of achieving goals.

How do you balance faith, food, finance, and family in the 21st century?

I believe that setting and working towards goals is very important and that balance in everything is the key.

The post Paula Novella: Honesty & Integrity appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.