Ebenezer Scrooge was a stingy miser and not frugal. I worked for 18 years for Ebenezer Scrooge. Ebenezer has a reputation for being the most miserly person in town. He never gave to charity, his clothes were tattered, and his home was a dilapidated cottage because he refused to spend a single coin on repairs. Ebenezer loved to day trade and would lose thousands of dollars a day on trading, but did not want to share the wealth.

Ebenezer lost his wife and he came to work after the funeral. Ebenezer’s heart remained unchanged. He continued to hoard his wealth, living in the same shabby cottage and wearing the same tattered clothes. He had gained notoriety, but he had not gained any real happiness.

Ebenezer worked till he was in his late 80’s. He never traveled.  Ebenezer grew old and frail. No family or children. No legacy.

I wish Ebenezer smelled the roses. The roses represent the joy that can be found in embracing life’s challenges, stepping out of your comfort zone, and in sharing your experiences with others. Ebenezer never realized the true cost of his stinginess and the richness of the experiences he had missed out on.

The difference between being stingy and being frugal

There are different undertones, implications, and connotations to being stingy and being frugal. They both relate to the people manage their resources and money and how they react to it. The main difference between being frugal and being stingy lies in the attitude and motivation behind one’s financial decisions.

Frugal

Being frugal means being mindful and careful about spending money and resources. Frugal individuals are intentional and make deliberate choices to save money by avoiding unnecessary expenses, finding deals, and making the most of what they have.  Frugal individuals prioritize value and are often focused on long-term financial goals. Frugality is about living within your means, being inventive, and making cautious decisions about where and how to spend your money.

Stingy

Stinginess, on the other hand, has a more negative connotation.

A stingy person is typically someone who is overly cautious or reluctant to spend money or resources, even when it might be appropriate or necessary. This behavior is often driven by a desire to save and accumulate wealth, sometimes at the expense of relationships, experiences, or personal well-being. They are often unwilling to spend money on even basic necessities and may go to great lengths to avoid parting with their funds. Stingy people might be hesitant to share their possessions, whether it’s lending items to friends or family, contributing to group expenses, or giving to charity. They may delay or avoid making purchases, even for items that would significantly improve their quality of life. Stingy individuals often engage in intense negotiations or haggling to get the lowest possible price. Stingy people might find reasons to avoid social gatherings that involve spending money, such as going out to eat, attending parties, or participating in activities that require a financial contribution. This hoarding behavior can extend to money, material goods, or even knowledge. Stingy people often prioritize saving money over enjoying life experiences.

qualities often associated with a frugal person

Resourcefulness

Frugal individuals are adept at finding creative solutions to problems. They can repurpose items, find alternative ways to achieve their goals and make the most of what they have.

Budget-Conscious

Frugal people are mindful of their spending and typically create and stick to budgets. They prioritize their expenses, focusing on necessities while limiting spending on non-essential items.

Prioritization

They understand the difference between needs and wants. Frugal individuals prioritize spending on essentials like housing, food, healthcare, and education while being cautious with discretionary spending.

Savings Mindset

Frugality often goes hand-in-hand with a strong savings habit. Frugal people are diligent about saving a portion of their income for future goals, emergencies, and investments.

Minimalism

Frugal individuals tend to value experiences and relationships over material possessions. They may embrace a minimalist lifestyle, owning only what they truly need and avoiding excessive consumerism.

Comparison Shopping

Frugal people are known for researching prices and comparing options before making purchases. They seek the best value for their money and are willing to invest time in finding deals.

DIY Attitude

Frugality often involves a willingness to do things yourself. This could range from cooking at home instead of dining out to tackling basic home repairs without immediately calling a professional.

Avoiding Debt

Frugal individuals are cautious about accumulating unnecessary debt. They aim to live within their means and avoid high-interest loans or credit card debt.

Long-Term Thinking

Frugal people are often future-oriented. They consider the long-term consequences of their financial decisions and are willing to make short-term sacrifices for greater financial security down the road.

Environmental Awareness

Many frugal individuals are environmentally conscious. They reduce waste, recycle, and minimize their carbon footprint by adopting practices like reusing items and reducing energy consumption.

Contentment

Frugal people often find contentment in simple pleasures and experiences rather than constantly seeking material possessions. This mindset contributes to their overall well-being and happiness.

Mindful Spending

They make intentional choices about where they allocate their resources. Frugal individuals are less likely to engage in impulse buying and more likely to think through purchases before making them.

Embracing frugality can empower you as a person

Frugality helps you build financial independence and stability by saving money, reducing debt, and increasing your overall financial security. This independence can free you from financial stress and the need to rely on others for support.

Being frugal enables you to allocate resources toward your goals and dreams, such as buying a home, starting a business, or traveling the world. You have the financial means to pursue your passions and aspirations.

Living within your means and having a financial safety net can significantly reduce stress and anxiety related to money. You’re less likely to worry about unexpected expenses or financial emergencies.

Practicing frugality requires self-discipline and mindful spending. This discipline can spill over into other areas of your life, helping you make better choices and maintain a healthy work-life balance.

By spending less on non-essential items, you have more freedom and flexibility in how you allocate your resources. This can mean more time for family, hobbies, or pursuing opportunities that align with your values.

Frugality often encourages sustainable and eco-friendly practices, such as reducing waste, conserving resources, and choosing products with a longer lifespan. This can contribute to a healthier planet and a sense of empowerment in making environmentally conscious choices.

Frugality can be closely associated with minimalism, which focuses on decluttering your life, simplifying possessions, and prioritizing experiences over material possessions. This minimalist approach can lead to a greater sense of contentment and focus on what truly matters to you.

Being frugal encourages resourcefulness and creativity in finding cost-effective solutions to everyday challenges. This problem-solving mindset can extend to other areas of your life and enhance your problem-solving skills.

Frugality helps you develop resilience in the face of economic downturns or unexpected financial setbacks. Having a frugal mindset means you’re better prepared to weather financial storms and adapt to changing circumstances.

When you have financial stability through frugality, you may be in a better position to help others in need. Whether through charitable donations or lending a helping hand to friends and family, you can make a positive impact on your community and society as a whole.

Frugality empowers you as a person by providing financial security, reducing stress, promoting self-discipline, and allowing you to allocate resources toward your goals and values. It can lead to a more intentional and fulfilling life, emphasizing what truly matters to you while also fostering financial responsibility and resilience.

The post Become empowered by being frugal appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

Introduction

The surge and rise in prices of goods and services in an economy are called inflation. The increment in price results in your currency buying fewer goods and services resulting in the decreasing purchasing power of your money.

As I am revising this article, the inflation rate in Canada and the U.S. is around 8% the highest in four decades.

I am going to write about what I have been doing to save money during this inflationary period.

I have spent more than 25 years in the financial services industry. I have lent money, managed money, traded money, and seen two recessions, the tech crash in 2000, 9/11, 2008, and now 2022. The COVID-19 crisis was an outlier or a Black Swan. The challenge with the COVID-19 crisis is that we had to quarantine ourselves, as countries around the world had been hit by a pandemic that was merciless, carcinogenic, and catholic. The knife was in the stomach, turned around and salt is being rubbed in the form of a shortage of many goods, disruption in supply chains, hoarding, and inflation.

I would strongly recommend that you create a budget and stick with it. Inflation kills your budget.

The future is uncertain and the times are scary. However, we will overcome it.

One question on your mind is whether you will come out ahead financially at the end of this. Here is what I am doing to deal with inflation and save money.

Save on Car Insurance

It is easy to save if you own two cars. Debbie has a short drive to work. I am working from home. We will be driving the car once a week to get groceries. This month, I called the insurance agent and took one car off the insurance. Total savings is $125.

Save on Cell phone, cable, internet

As a loyal customer with a provider, you have to negotiate and it can save you money. I called my provider and negotiated better rates for the cell and internet. I switched to IPTV where I get 5,000 channels and only pay $15 a month. Total savings is $50.

Hair color for Debbie

Debbie used to go to a salon for coloring her hair. I learned how to color her hair. Total savings  $125.

Cutting grass

I have a huge lot and for the last couple of years had a professional company cut my grass three times a month. I am going to cut the grass this year. Total savings $100.

Save by Working from home

I requested to work from home. It saves me two hours a day stuck in traffic. I am saving $160 in gas and $50 in parking. Total savings $210.

Cooking at home

I am cooking all my meals at home. I used to eat out pretty often. No need for Uber Eats or Door Dash. Total savings $150.

Cut the non-essentials

Inflation could last for a while. No one knows if another wave of COVID-10 will come. So, the more money you save, it can sustain you.

Refinance, consolidate and lower your rates

If you have many loans, lines of credit, and credit cards, I recommend you refinance your mortgage and consolidate. This way you will have only one payment. Call your banker and lower your interest rate. I recommend Ashish Lala. He is the best in the business.  Continue to invest in conservative stocks that will give you a dividend and ask for a raise.

I hope some of these tips will help you to save money during these inflationary times.

Photo Credits: Tonik  Richard Burlton Andraz Lazic Andre Gaulin Diogo Brandao Max Ilienerwise Becca Tapert Anastase Maragos Sharon McCutcheon

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Do you want to save money? Here are my favorite quotes on saving money.

Never spend your money before you have it. – Thomas Jefferson

Do not save what is left after spending; instead, spend what is left after saving. – Warren Buffett

He who buys what he does not need is stealing from himself. – Swedish Proverb

The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it. – Henry David Thoreau

Therefore, it is not how much you make, but how much you save that matters.

It was 2001. I was a young, aggressive, investment advisor on Bay Street. A call came in and being the broker of the day I answered.

Meeting potential clients

The caller was in his late 30’s, an executive in the hydro business and his wife was a marketing executive. They had two kids. He wanted to meet with me as he needed help to save money and start saving for retirement.

Are you kidding me? Sure…. It was an opportunity of a lifetime.

I called the wife and told her I would be late for dinner.

I am dressed to kill. The car is washed. I am ready to make an impression. I am ready to open an account and help this couple save money.

I drive around and check the hood. I see a Mercedes and BMW parked outside their home.

I am excited. My heart is beating fast. I have my pitch perfected.

I ring the doorbell and they welcome me.

Zero Savings

After the basic get to know chat, we sit down to have a more serious conversation. The numbers are impressive. They have a total family income of 250,000 plus bonuses. I can work with that. I can give them tips on how to save money.

After that, I ask how much do you save at the end of the month?

Their face completely changed. They had zero savings.

The monthly payment for the mortgage was $ 3,000, each car was leased for $ 500, private school per child was $ 2,000, trips, vacation and eating out took the rest.

I made some recommendations that included some lifestyle changes to be made in order to reach their goals and how to save money.

As a result, I left empty-handed and never heard from them.

As a VP with a US discretionary manager, I covered Ontario and Manitoba. I would only go to see a potential client who had a minimum of $ 750,000 to invest.

I flew to Sudbury to see a surgeon, an executive in the construction business and a retired janitor.

How to save money

As a result, I googled the home of the janitor and it was not impressive. To be honest it was in a derelict state. I thought to myself he probably wants free information on our stock picks and is not interested in our services.

I went to see him at 5 pm and he preferred that we sit out in the balcony. After the usual small talk, I explained a little about our services and asked him the usual getting to know your client questions. I asked him about his net worth and he did not have a clue. He brought out two statements from different banks and the total was about $2.5 million.

As I am looking at all his holdings, he tells me he also has some share certificates and bonds. He brings about 30 share certificates and bonds and they consist of all blue-chip stocks listed in Toronto and New York.  His liquid net worth came to approximately $5 million.

I recommended that he convert them to electronic shares.

Above all, I was fascinated. I wanted to know his story.

He shared that he started off as an 18-year-old janitor and saved a lot of his money and invested in shares. He retired at 55. He was not interested in impressing anyone. He lived within his means and took vacations. Overall, he lived a simple life. He did want to leave a legacy with a few charities. He was good at saving money.

Conclusion

In conclusion, if there is something, I have learned from being two decades in wealth management is that it is not how much you make but how much you save.

It is important to go out, travel, spend time with family, and do other fun stuff but it has to be within your means.

Photo Credits: Michael Longmire Vanessa Lee Javier Reyes Zan Allef Vinicius Benedikt Geyer

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Money touches everything. It affects how we sleep, how we eat, how we raise our children, and how we dream about the future. Yet too often, we treat finances like a separate compartment of life, disconnected from faith, family, and well-being.

What if we approached money the way we approach health, looking at the whole picture instead of isolated parts?

In this conversation, Jason Trueman, Portfolio Manager with Cumberland Private Wealth Management, shares why a holistic approach to household finances matters. From buying a quality mattress to investing with discipline, Jason explains how thoughtful spending, long-term vision, and balance can create not just wealth, but freedom and peace of mind.

Welcome to Four Columns, where food, faith, finance, and family are not separate conversations, but part of the same story.

Jason, welcome to Four Columns, a holistic blog on food, faith, finance, and family. Please tell me a little about yourself.

I am a Portfolio Manager with Cumberland Private Wealth Manager. Cumberland is headquartered in Toronto. I work with a talented team in Kingston, Ontario, including a CFP, CA, CPA, and TEP, providing holistic wealth management services for successful Canadian families and business owners.

How did you end up in personal finance?

I graduated from Queen’s University with a Bachelor of Commerce Degree. I received my CFA charter in 2001. I started my career as an Underwriter with Chubb Insurance. I was recruited by AIG and worked in Bermuda for 7 years before returning to Kingston to raise our young family in 2010.

Give me three tips on how to have a holistic approach to personal finance?

Control your spending by buying things you need and on an average cost basis (i.e. you will spend one-third of your life on a mattress so buy a good one).

Be disciplined with your investing. Buy dominant companies with great management who care about both their customers and their shareholders (these are rare and require work to find).

There is a balance between disciplined spending and enjoying your life; life is short so if you need a trip or a new car or new shoes to enjoy your life then spend the money.

What happens when we live on credit cards and not on our salary?

Credit cards that you pay off in full on a monthly basis and never pay interest on and accumulate rewards are great. When you overspend and pay exorbitant interest living beyond your means then you will suffer from difficult financial decisions and increasing stress.

How important is it to have a budget as part of a holistic approach to our personal finance?

I find long-term goals are helpful in providing meaning to your actions like why am I going to work and saving for my child’s education or retirement. Budgets help keep your life and spending in order; like a calendar and daily to-do lists.

What are some important tips to start saving?

Paying off your higher interest-bearing debt is most important. Taking advantage of government savings programs like RESPs, RRSPs and TFSAs is enormously important as well. Again, buying things you need (healthy food, a quality mattress) instead of buying things you want for status and cost a lot on a per-use basis (the tenth pair of shoes, vacation properties) is critically important.

How do you balance faith, food, finance, and family?

I believe in humanity; if we all do our part to contribute, we collectively accomplish amazing things. If you don’t spend money on healthy food then you’ll pay the price with poor health and physical limitations. Finance is about independence; ideally, a career doing something you enjoy while creating financial freedom to do nothing if you so choose. Raising kind, caring and confident children who find something productive they love to do in life are our number one job as parents.

Can you recommend some great restaurants in Kingston?

Kingston has an enormous array of awesome restaurants – having 35,000 students in the city helps. I prefer local family-owned restaurants such as Tango, Woodenheads, and Harpers.

You manage money for the wealthy, what have you learned from the experience? Do they have a holistic approach?

Success usually requires some form of sacrifice at some stage in their life. For many that mean focusing on academic excellence instead of always finding the nearest party. For others, that means pursuing an idea, a vision, and taking on considerable financial risk, and working excessive hours to make their dream a reality.

How important is food to you?

Food has an enormous impact on how you feel and how you look. Humanity would benefit from healthier eating with lower health care costs, lower greenhouse gas emissions, and an overall more productive society and cleaner earth.

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A financial plan is a road map to achieving your financial goals.

We all have financial goals. It could be for a vacation, purchasing a home, children’s education, or retirement.

A financial plan looks at where you are at present and what you want to achieve in the future. It looks at net worth, cash flow, insurance planning, estate planning, retirement planning, and taxes.

A financial plan gets you in touch with reality, helps you to become realistic, looks at opportunities and risks, and gives you peace of mind.

Scott Schofield of Nesbitt Burns talks about reasons to have a financial plan and a disciplined savings strategy. Having this does not make you feel guilty.

Scott tell my global audience a little about you?

I am an investment advisor in London, Ontario, for approximately 150 families and business owners. I am a Chartered Investment Manager (CIM®) and have 20 years of experience in the asset management industry. Before joining BMO Nesbitt Burns, I consulted with financial advisors in my role as Senior Vice President with Mackenzie Investments and Dynamic Funds and hold a BA in Economics from Dalhousie University.

When not analyzing numbers, I enjoy many outdoor activities including kayaking and stand-up paddleboarding. My favorite activity is skiing with my wife and our two daughters that are 8 and 10 years old.

You have been around the financial services industry for a long time. What are some of the things you have learned? 

Being in the financial services industry has taught me a number of things over the years. However, one thing that stands out is that investors have a tendency to forget about ‘risk’ in their portfolios when the markets are good. It is always good to re-valuate your portfolio to ensure your portfolios are aligned with your objectives. If you are asking yourself, what are my objectives? you should seek advice from a licensed professional immediately.

Besides saving 10 percent, paying off your debts, living within your means what other advice can you give to my audience?

Great question, I would have to say seek out advice. Many Canadians feel like they do not have a high enough net worth to seek the advice of a professional. This is not the case. The value of having a financial advisor is undeniable.

Why is it important to save for retirement and what are some of the tools? 

There will come a day when you stop receiving a paycheque and need to replace that with an income from your portfolio. Saving in tax-deferred plans such as Registered Retirement Savings Plan’s (RRSP’s) and Tax-Free Saving Account’s (TFSA’s) are great ways to help reduce and manage the level of tax you will pay in retirement.

To become successful in saving, we have to make some sacrifices and have a financial plan. Do I always have to have the latest TV, cell phone, latest car? 

Some people really like to have the latest and greatest. I do! You should treat yourself from time to time. Having a financial plan and a disciplined saving strategy can potentially take the guilt out of treating yourself because you will know if you can or cannot afford these things.

Talk to me about TFSA and RESP? 

Both are great tools for investors.

The Tax-Free Savings Account (TFSA) began in 2009 and is a great way for Canadians to set aside money tax-free throughout their lifetime. A TFSA does not apply taxes on any contributions, dividends, capital gains, or interest earned, and can be withdrawn tax-free. This savings account is available to individuals aged 18 and older and can be used for any purpose.

An RESP is a great way to save for your child’s or grandchild’s post-secondary education. Parents, grandparents, and friends can contribute money any time to an RESP – up to a lifetime total of $50,000 per child. These contributions are not tax-deductible, but any investment income that’s earned within the plan isn’t taxed until it’s withdrawn.

The federal government will match 20% of the first $2,500 you contribute each year. That is $500 each year. When your children or grandchildren are eligible to start receiving the money to pay for tuition, books, computers, residence, meal plans, transportation and more, they pay the tax—generally at a much lower rate than you would have paid.

If my viewers want to become a client of yours, what are you looking for in a client? 

The bottom line is we want to work with clients that are engaged in their financial well-being.

Working towards financial goals is best done by a collaboration between our clients and our team.

It does take some investment of time in the early stages to get to know our client so we can properly propose personalized solutions and a financial plan that finds a balance between their goals and their risk tolerance. From there we implement the plan and monitor it year-round.

How important is it to have a financial plan, a road map of where you are going, goals, estate plan, and a will? 

I cannot stress enough how important a financial plan is to our client’s financial well-being.

It is a personalized blueprint or roadmap to meeting and exceeding financial goals.

A plan is adjusted over time as life events and unexpected things happen in our clients’ lives.

It also is a tremendous aid in helping to minimize tax during and after our clients’ lives.

How important is food to you and let us know some of your favorite restaurants in London?

What can I say I love food! I always like to be the first of my friends to try new restaurants and enjoy traveling and trying new to me restaurants along the way.

In London, I tend to frequent two of my favorites often.

The Church Key Bistro-Pub is a British traditional gastropub specializing in traditional food done with a gourmet flair. They use seasonal and locally sourced ingredients whenever possible. If you go there you have to try their Ale & Onion Soup with the Smoked Salmon Sammy.

The Bungalow – Neighbourhood Hub, is a great neighborhood ‘local’ in a residential area. The restaurant’s style and cuisine are designed for casual and convivial enjoyment. They have an extensive craft beer selection and a build your own burger option that they claim results in over 3000 different possible combinations. When not tinkering with my burger recipe of choice, my go-to is the Fish Tacos with the Habanero Potato Cheddar Bacon Soup.

How do you balance faith food family and finance in the 21st century? 

Finding a balance is sometimes tough with a busy practice and family. Making and taking the time to shut off devices and being in the moment with my family is very important to me. The best conversations are with my girls walking the dog after dinner or the quiet time when riding the chair lift when skiing the family.

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Money and holidays go hand in hand.

There is so much to do. You have to buy gifts, visit family and friends, and bring stuff to each of those visits.

If one is not careful, the bills can pile up, and January can become a scary month. However, it does not have to turn out that way. Have a budget, set up a list, pay cash, do some free stuff for people, volunteer, give your time, do not buy on credit, do not buy last minute, give practical gifts, use coupons or online sales, and have fun.

Enjoy the holidays, rejuvenate and get ready for the new year.

I talk to Hope, who is a blogger at UndertheMedian and we discuss how to stay within a budget and to use your money wisely during the holidays.

Hope, a pleasure to have you onboard and talk about one of my favorite topics, money and household finances. I love your name Hope and please tell my audience a little about you?

My husband, Larry, and I have been married for 31 years and are the proud parents of four sons – age 11-23. I have a degree in Radio and Television, working for a local radio station for 12 years, before leaving the full-time workforce when I had children.

Since then, I’ve provided voiceover talent for such prestigious companies as Pioneer Hybrid International and the Museum of Science and Industry in Chicago. I sing the second soprano and have been a featured soloist for the highly-acclaimed Heritage Ensemble, am a frequent and popular speaker at the APACHE Homeschooling convention, civic, and church groups. I teach literature and public speaking in the high school department at Peoria Cooperative Academy. I have written multiple guest posts for websites, including Crystal Paine (Money Saving Mom) and Change Your Finances. Finally, I blog and give tips on living with a spirit of joy and abundance on a shoestring budget.

What is Under the Median all about? Why should we read it? Who is your audience?

When my husband and I married in 1988, we were each making $5 an hour. Three months later, our bank account registered ZERO! We had a choice to make. Would we continue our current spending habits and sink into debt, or look our situation square in the face, embrace delayed gratification, and learn to live within our means?

We chose to take the bull by the horns, set goals, and figure out how to live lean. Four years later, we purchased our first home with a 20% down payment. We paid off our 15-year mortgage in just 5 years. Then, 12 years later, we purchased our current home with cash. We did it all while raising 4 sons on an income that was consistently under the national US median income.

My blog, Under the Median, was born three years ago out of a desire to teach others how to not only cut costs but also to live with a spirit of joy and abundance while doing it! Encouragement and practical advice are huge parts of my blog. Anyone who wants tips on how to live within their means, save money, and create memories without spending money, will enjoy reading my blog.

You talk a lot about budgeting. What is it and why is it important to talk about money?

Some people get very uncomfortable when you begin speaking about budgeting, but, really, they shouldn’t. A budget is a monthly spending plan, giving each dollar that you earn a job to do. It’s not about being in a financial straight jacket. It’s about giving yourself freedom, knowing that you can spend money on that latte, as long as you have budgeted for it. I often tell people that no one is excused from setting short, medium, and long-term goals. In fact, if you make a less-than-average income, written goals are critical to your success.

It is not how much money you make but how much you save. Please comment?

Absolutely! We, personally, live in a neighborhood that is full of people who make several times what we do. My husband works at the local police department and has had captains and sergeants ask him how we bought a home in our neighborhood. We could afford to live here because we had a plan and worked diligently to make it happen. It was a long, hard road to achieve that goal.

Also, you have to remember that “money problems” do not just affect those who make little money. Often, folks who make a higher-than-average income, have never learned the principles of budgeting. You have to approach it as though it is a skill – because it is! The good thing is, anyone can do it! You don’t need a college degree or lots of money to make it happen. Information about how to save money and successfully budget are available for FREE. All you have to do is look for it! I’ve been budgeting for 30 years and I still check out finance books from the library. Why? Because there is always something more that I can learn.

December is the holiday season and stressful for many people with gifts and travel. How can people make it easier by spending the money they have?

I love this question! I teach a 3-pronged holiday strategy.

Be authentic and honest

There is nothing more wonderful than sharing warm moments with family and friends. However, the pressure to attend functions and spend money is very real!  It’s enough to leave you distraught, confused, and emotionally devastated. You can’t do it all – physically, financially, or emotionally. So, don’t try.  Be upfront and honest with every single person who comes to you with a request or an expectation. Answer sincerely and with a smile.

Set realistic expectations and boundaries

Boundaries are HUGE during the holidays, especially when it comes to family dynamics. It’s okay to tell your siblings that you won’t be contributing $100 toward Mom and Dad’s gift this year. Instead, you can afford $50. It’s okay to tell friends that you’d love to meet them for a drink, but you already allocated your restaurant money for the month. Better yet, invite them to your place for a pot luck dinner and then play board games or watch cheesy Christmas movies. It’s okay to set limits on how much you will spend on gifts. When was the last time you opened a gift and said, “Wow!  This is great!  How much did it set you back?”  I would venture to say that never have such crass words come from your lips.  So, it is highly unlikely that any friend or loved one will utter them either.

Create margin and memories

If looking at your December calendar is giving you hives, then do what you need to do to make it manageable. I advise that people pick several days and a pencil in “evening at home”. This gives you emotional permission to take time out to just breathe, read a book, and sip a drink by the light of the Christmas tree. Taking time for self-care is SO important when your schedule is a little wild.

Finally, you must remember that creating meaningful moments does not always mean spending a lot of money. We never had money while raising the boys, but we discovered several annual events, which were free or nearly free. As the boys got older, they told us which ones were most important to them. In fact, when our oldest was home from college for Thanksgiving, all six of us gathered in the living room, and everyone scheduled into their phone, the dates and times of this year’s holiday family events. My boys did not want to miss any of our family traditions!

How are household finances and money different as a single, married, and married with kids?

I remind married couples that they are a team! Just like a football player would never start passing when he was supposed to be blocking or tackling, you can’t go off in your own direction when you are married. Generally, one person in a relationship is a spender and the other is a saver. You need each other to find balance. I am the saver, but I need my husband to periodically say, “We have the money saved for this trip. It’s okay to relax and spend the money.” Conversely, he needs me to tell him, “No, we can’t afford that new big, screen television until next year” Then, I follow up with a timeline. “If we save $100 a month, we should have enough money in six months.”

The other thing you need to take into consideration is your partner’s communication and learning style. Larry is concrete-sequential. He doesn’t like anything that is nebulous. He likes a carefully thought out plan for nearly everything. When I began budgeting, my husband was pretty doubtful that we’d be able to reach any financial goals. Remember, we were both making $5 an hour. I realized that he needed to see my plan in black and white. So, I created a chart, delineating where we were financially now, a preliminary budget plan, and a timeline of when we would reach that first big goal (which was paying cash for a car). His reaction was like night and day! Once he could see that there were a clear path and a plan that we could set in motion, he was “in”!

Being married with kids is a whole new ball game! As parents, we want to give our kids the world. I remind people to think deeply about what really and truly counts in life. We need to develop our children’s character, their work ethic, their compassion for others, and their awareness of their own strengths and weaknesses. Your children need your love, affirmation, guidance, and time. None of which will cost you money! We spent a huge amount of time with our boys, deliberately creating moments every week of family bonding and fellowship. My grown sons have thanked us again and again for letting them know that they were loved and cherished.

Having said that, I’m a HUGE proponent of teaching financial principles at an early age. We give our sons an allowance from age 5-14 and it is tied to weekly chores and work. When they turn 14, we have a coming-of-age celebration! They receive special gifts from us, a ceremony, a blessing from my husband, and a party for family and friends. At age 14 we also stop paying them an allowance. Instead, we “invest in their dreams”, matching 50% of the amount that they earn toward their own, personal goals. They must earn their half by working for someone besides us. At age 16, they reach financial independence. We pay for all school-related expenses, healthcare, and food. They get a job, pay for their portion of the car insurance, purchase their own cell phone, and pay for all personal items and expenses. We match the first $2000 that they save toward a car.

Our sons knew very early in life that we would not pay for their college experience. We simply could not do it. They were encouraged to get good grades, participate in extra-curricular activities, and define their strengths and interests. Our oldest son will graduate debt-free in May of 2020, with 2 associate’s degrees and 1 bachelor’s degree. He won several scholarships, including a full-tuition offer to transfer to an amazing, small, private, Christian university. Our second son chose not to attend university. Instead, he is pursuing a career in IT. His passion for all things electronic has been clear since he was very young. Not only does his employer deeply appreciate his work ethic and commitment to the company, but they are also paying for all of his certifications.

I tell single people that they should not “go it alone”. No man (or woman) should be an island.

Get an accountability partner. It’s honestly lonely for someone who is single and is struggling with making ends meet or is deeply in debt. It can be debilitating to feel alone. They need to pick someone who will support their goals, not be afraid to lovingly be honest with them, and give them a sounding board. I mention the ability to call that partner if you are in the mall and that Kate Spade bag is calling your name. They will be able to tell you to put the plastic away and save up for it.

Give me three tips on how we can save money and have a meaningful holiday season?

There are three major steps that I tell people to take to get through the holidays without breaking the bank.

Get accountable. Don’t do Christmas alone and don’t “wing it”!

I will tell you with absolute transparency that the opinions of others have always mattered very much to me.  I love to make people happy and nothing breaks my spirit more than knowing that I have disappointed a friend or family member.  At Christmas, my husband and I spent out of guilt, feeling that we needed to make everyone happy.

It also became clear in a really short order that my annual spending spree had to stop! It was time for intellectual and emotional honesty with one another. We had to negotiate what traditions stayed and which ones needed to be cut. We had to partner together to get through December without a holiday hangover in January.

If you are not married, I highly recommend that you get an accountability partner.  This person should be trustworthy and willing to be firm, but honest with you.

Plan a realistic Christmas budget

One of the mistakes that people make is creating a gift list and then stopping there. First of all, that gift list needs to include how much you intend to spend on each person. Just going to the mall or heading to Amazon will spell certain disaster if you have no idea how much you can reasonably spend.

Secondly, I include everything related to the holidays: gifts, decorations, special dinners, supplies, high-priced ingredients that I don’t generally buy, stocking stuffers, and events like annual plays or musicals. I try to think of everything that may need to be added to my holiday budget and list it.

Shop wisely

Don’t hop on the “whatever is popular” bandwagon. Usually, those items are not only hard to find, but they are also expensive. Remember the Cabbage Patch dolls in the 1980s? There were physical riots trying to grab them off the shelves. Instead, put some thought into items that are meaningful. They should also fit into your budget, of course. You may consider visiting shops that stock lightly used items. Also, pay with cash. When you do, statistically you spend 20% less.

You have been married for three decades and raise four children. Give my readers some tips on being a wife and a mother?

As a mother, I took great pleasure in the challenge to create moments of family bonding for little or no money. For instance, because we had absolutely no money to go out to eat, we took the boys on Friday night picnics. Every Friday, we packed up whatever I had made for supper, a board game, read-aloud book, or some music, and headed off to a local park that overlooked the river. Both of my older sons voted “Friday night picnics” as their absolute favorite memory while growing up.

One of the other important roles of being a mother is being a sounding board for your kids without becoming a helicopter parent. My boys always knew that they could talk to me about anything – and they did! However, they also learned that if they were not looking for solutions, but for sympathy, they would preface the conversation with, “Mom, I just need you to listen”.

Another super important concept I talk about when I speak to parents is allowing your children to be their own person. They are not carbon copies of you. They come with their own set of strengths and weaknesses, their own desires and goals, their own individual bent and calling in life. Our role, as parents, is to help them discover the talents that God has birthed in them and then facilitating a pathway for them to move in that direction.

You talk a lot about your faith in your blog. Walk me through this faith and how has it helped you?

Being Christians has had a huge impact on our view of money. We believe that ultimately God provides for all our needs. We also understand that God has given us our income. We are stewards of it, not only to meet our own needs but also to reach out beyond our own family and impact the lives of others. Many times, when goals seemed insurmountable or stress mounted, my husband and I would take to our knees together and pray for help and for guidance. Having a frame of reference which includes a Divine impartation of strength has been absolutely critical in every area of our lives.

Talk to me about a time you face something really challenging and how you overcame it?

Probably the biggest hurdle we have ever surmounted was paying cash for our home. In the fall of 2008, at 3:30 pm, three of my children had just come inside from playing in the front yard. At that moment, a drug dealer ran through the front yard, closely followed by the police. This was not the first time that chaos had erupted in our neighborhood. Sadly, gunshots and break-ins were becoming all too commonplace. My husband looked at me and wordlessly mouthed, “When can we move?” I did the quickest calculations I had ever done in my life!  Here’s how the situation looked on paper.

We owned our current home.

We had some savings.

My husband made $40,000 a year.

We needed an additional $60,000 to move to a better neighborhood.

We gave ourselves two years to save money. If we couldn’t eat it or wear it, we didn’t buy it. We cut every penny possible from our already tight budget. Every extra dollar that came into the house, went into the “house fund”. We communicated more effectively than we ever had in our married life. We prayed as a family every night and thanked God for making a way where there seemed to be none. We grabbed onto that great, big, nearly impossible goal with both hands and refused to let go!

Twenty months later, we had saved 37% of my husband’s income. In August of 2010, we paid cash for a three-bedroom, two-bath, brick home in a very good neighborhood.

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When it comes to money, most of us know the importance of planning—but very few of us actually sit down to create a household budget. To better understand why budgeting, financial planning, and legacy preparation are important, I sat down with Tony Romolo, a seasoned professional with over three decades of experience in the financial services industry, currently with Manulife Private Wealth.

In our conversation, Tony shares candid insights on why a household budget is more than just numbers—it’s about control, choices, and creating a roadmap for your hopes and dreams. From the basics of budgeting to the importance of credit, estate planning, insurance, and even family values, Tony’s open thoughts offer a practical yet philosophical look at how money shapes our lives.

Please note: These open thoughts, ideas, and commentary on a household budget are those of Tony Romolo only. They are informal in nature and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of Manulife Private Wealth.

Tony, you have been in financial services for three decades. Walk me through why it is important to have a household budget.

A household budget is very important, and yet I can think of only a few that have one.  Why is a household budget important?  Because, in my opinion, a budget is about control.  A budget gives reasonable comfort and control over household finances.  It is the road map that will help determine how the money you receive is spent, saved, invested, gifted, and so on.  Because a budget is a forward-looking forecast, it is bound to be imperfect.  That’s okay.  The absence of a budget means a lack of control, stress, added expense, and so on.  Having a budget is a key component in helping you achieve the goals you set.  Sounds pretty reasonable and straightforward so far, yes?  In fact, a household budget is far more complicated and involved than it appears because a budget is about making choices.  Essentially, life planning (as much as that is possible) requires a household budget to help ensure you realize your hopes and dreams. 

Help me understand what we should include in a budget? 

A household budget is a forecast of money that will be received and money that will be spent over a future period.  A budget should be tweaked periodically and amended as required.  There are endless formats and tools to help establish a household budget ranging from the very simple to the very sophisticated.  Budgeting is essentially goal setting.  To successfully meet your budgeting goals, a household budget should include a couple of key things.  Firstly, a budget should not be a burden and a sore spot.  Remember, a budget is supposed to give you control and relieve household financial stress.  A properly structured budget should be a go-to tool that keeps you on track and gives you comfort.  Secondly, a budget should be flexible such that you can stay on plan while at the same time be prepared for managing unexpected expenses or money you unexpectedly receive.  Again, the idea is more about having a useful tool you can rely on as opposed to feeling terrible about going over budget or elated about being under budget.

How important is it to maintain a good credit score and rating?

Maintaining a good credit score and a good credit rating is very important.  A good credit score helps lenders assess your creditworthiness.  A good credit score will help lenders provide the best loan pricing possible.  A good credit score will give the prospective borrower the most favorable terms and conditions when borrowing money.  In today’s day and age reliance on credit and access to credit is perhaps more important than ever.  Having a good credit rating and credit score will help you with the credit you currently have and with the credit, you may need to access in the future.

Explain the different kinds of credit ratings and how can I mess it up? 

Your credit score recaps how much you owe to lenders, how much credit you have access to, what your repayment history has been like and other things.  Essentially, credit history reports capture installment loan information (like your car loan) and revolving or line of credit information such as the limit on your credit card, how long you have had the card, how much you owe, etc.  Your credit score is sensitive to how much actual debt you owe and how much you have access to.  It is also sensitive to how often you look to borrow money.  It is sensitive to how many different lenders you approach.  It is certainly sensitive to your repayment history.  Your repayment history is carefully tracked.  If you miss a monthly payment, for example, it will be re-scored as such.  Credit history reports are meant to be factual.  If you file a consumer proposal or declare bankruptcy, for example, that will be recorded in your credit history report.  Essentially, it is important to adhere to the terms and conditions set out by the lender that you agree to when you borrow. 

Why is having a financial plan important and what is your role in doing that?

Having a financial plan is very important.  Generally, a financial plan is all-encompassing capturing all money-related elements of an individual, couple or family.  A financial plan is the blueprint and road map one can rely on to help achieve financial life goals.  For the past couple of decades, I have worked closely with financial advisors in a multitude of different firms that specialize in financial planning.  Again, there are amazing tools and software to help navigate the complexities of financial planning.  I have really never been a financial planner, per se.  I have always participated in helping out with certain key aspects of the overall financial plan. 

Let’s talk about estate planning. Why is it important? 

An estate is all the money and property one owns at any given time.  The estate may exist while one is alive when one dies and beyond death.  As you might think, estate planning can be quite multi-faceted and usually refers to the planning process involved in passing on one’s money and property after death.  Inheritances.  Charitable giving.  Tax minimization.  I will get a little philosophical and I will keep it simple because the topic is very broad.  Estate planning deals with the legacy one leaves behind.  Estate planning is about giving meaning to the life one has led. 

Why is having life insurance important?

Life insurance is a very unique asset.  As you might imagine, it is insurance in one’s life.  One might argue that there is no need to insure something that can be easily replaced if lost.  By that logic, life insurance is absolutely essential because human life is irreplaceable.  I realize I’m getting philosophical again.  A financial plan might outline the need and amount of life insurance required.  Your budget will also capture what the cost of life insurance is and how that factors into your overall goal-setting and legacy planning.  The owner of a life insurance policy will insure life and name a beneficiary or beneficiaries.  Life insurance is an excellent tool used to protect assets and replace income in the event of the death of the insured.  The owner of the life insurance policy can also access the value of the policy during his or her lifetime.  I stand by my earlier comment.  We work incredibly hard to generate income and create wealth so protecting that income and wealth with life insurance is a very prudent thing.  Interesting use of life insurance is actually an attractive estate planning strategy.  I will give you a rough idea:  A parent can purchase life insurance on the life of their child and then transfer that life insurance to the child in a rollover transaction.  This is attractive because, essentially, the parent has the ability to purchase life insurance for the benefit of yet-to-be-born grandchildren! 

What is your opinion on having a will?

It is important to have a will.  We talked about financial planning and estate planning.  A will is a key part of the planning.  A valid and well-thought-out will ensure estate planning efforts are seen through to completion.  Get a will properly drafted.  The costs are justified.  Avoid the unnecessary costs, delays, and family bickering that result when one dies intestate (without a will). 

Give me three practical tips on how to manage our finances.

Three practical tips when it comes to managing your finances:

Pay yourself first.  This one is my favorite.  The idea is to set aside, save, or automatically invest a percentage of your regular income as soon as you receive the income.  This is a great habit to get into.  You will not notice you are paying yourself first.  You will build an excellent investment portfolio/savings.

Do not carry high-interest debt.  Do not carry credit card balances.  Pay your credit card debt in full each month.  If you can, refinance your debt into the lowest-cost loan possible.  Usually, refinancing your debts into your mortgage is best.  Part of this point is to avoid the trap of refinancing your mortgage with regular frequency because that sort of defeats the purpose!

Invest in yourself.  Take a college/university course every year.  Read.  Be a lifelong learner.  Be active and look after your health.  Be a part of your community and be sure to give back.  Volunteer.  Investing in yourself will generate ever greater financial and personal dividends. 

Talk to me about food, family, and some of your favorite restaurants in Toronto.

Family is very important to us.  I refer to family in a broad sense.  It is important to remember and acknowledge we are inter-connected to our parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts, and so on.  We are all rich tapestries.  We are all in this together.  Life would have us believe we are misunderstood, alone, and isolated, however, the opposite is true.  Our family’s favorite restaurant is Terroni.  Everything on the menu is a win!

Photo Credits:  NORTHFOLK Kelly Sikkema  Christiann Koepke Blake Wisz Green Chameleon Melinda Gimpel

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