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	<title>#coronavirus Archives - Four Columns of a Balanced Life</title>
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	<title>#coronavirus Archives - Four Columns of a Balanced Life</title>
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		<title>Live a Life Beyond Fears</title>
		<link>https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/life-beyond-fears/</link>
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		<pubDate>Wed, 13 Dec 2023 13:58:38 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Faith]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#coronavirus]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#courage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#covid]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#faith]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#fear]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#fearless]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#hope]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#horror]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#inspiration]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#mentalhealth]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#selflove]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[anxiety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Art]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[love]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/?p=4804</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<img width="300" height="157" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Untitled-Design-9-300x157.png" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="living beyond fears" style="display: block; margin: auto; margin-bottom: 5px;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" decoding="async" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Untitled-Design-9-300x157.png 300w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Untitled-Design-9-1024x536.png 1024w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Untitled-Design-9-768x402.png 768w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Untitled-Design-9-760x400.png 760w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Untitled-Design-9-600x314.png 600w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Untitled-Design-9.png 1200w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /><p>I spent most of my life living in fear, playing it safe and staying well within my comfort zone. Two deaths, close together, helped me to realize that I no longer wanted to spend another moment of my life living in fear and playing it safe</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/life-beyond-fears/">Live a Life Beyond Fears</a> appeared first on <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com">Four Columns of a Balanced Life</a>.</p>
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										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<img width="300" height="157" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Untitled-Design-9-300x157.png" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="living beyond fears" style="display: block; margin: auto; margin-bottom: 5px;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" decoding="async" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Untitled-Design-9-300x157.png 300w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Untitled-Design-9-1024x536.png 1024w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Untitled-Design-9-768x402.png 768w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Untitled-Design-9-760x400.png 760w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Untitled-Design-9-600x314.png 600w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Untitled-Design-9.png 1200w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /><p>Living a life beyond fears is a powerful and transformative journey that involves both self-reflection and intentional action.</p>
<p>It is critical to identify and acknowledge the specific fears that hold you back.  Explore the origins of your fears and understand how they may be rooted in past experiences or limiting beliefs. Embrace the reality of your fears without judgment. Acceptance doesn&#8217;t mean resignation; it means acknowledging your feelings without letting them control you. Challenge and reframe negative thoughts that contribute to your fears. Develop and repeat positive statements that counteract your fears.</p>
<p>Take small, incremental steps to confront your fears rather than trying to overcome them all at once.  Enlist the help of friends, family, or a therapist to provide encouragement and guidance as you face your fears. Instead of viewing failures as roadblocks, see them as opportunities for growth and learning.</p>
<p>Remember that overcoming fear is an ongoing process, and it&#8217;s okay to seek professional help if needed. A therapist or counselor can offer guidance and support as you work towards living a life beyond fear.</p>
<p>Cindy Moore is a unique blogger and has a unique take on life. She focuses on living life beyond fears, limitations, and her comfort zone and embraces a sense of wonderment and adventure. She recently started a healing journey. She changed her<a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/miracle-foods-that-protect-you-from-diseases/"> diet</a> and has become healthy. Cindy shares some amazing experiences and her path to living a fulfilled life.</p>
<p><img fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-4809" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/IMG_0926.jpg" alt="live beyond fears" width="640" height="610" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/IMG_0926.jpg 640w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/IMG_0926-300x286.jpg 300w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/IMG_0926-560x534.jpg 560w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/IMG_0926-80x76.jpg 80w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/IMG_0926-600x572.jpg 600w" sizes="(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px" /></p>
<h4><span style="color: #cc99ff;"><strong>Cindy, help me understand what it means when you say you are a woman on a journey and living life beyond fears?</strong></span></h4>
<p>I spent most of my life living in fear, playing it safe, and staying well within my comfort zone. Two deaths, close together, helped me to realize that I no longer wanted to spend another moment of my life living in fear and playing it safe. My journey began as an inner one with facing my fears. My decision to move beyond my comfort zone launched a year of trying a new experience every day. My blogging journey began simultaneously as a way to chronicle those new experiences.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #cc99ff;"><strong>You talk a lot about enchantment, surrender, and inspiration. Break it down for me?</strong></span></h4>
<p>After moving beyond my comfort zone, by trying new experiences, my whole life opened up. I recognized that life is meant to be experienced as a magical or enchanted journey and that the Divine offers help and guidance for that journey. I see life differently than I used to and I see signs and wonders everywhere that delight me and encourage me to keep going. Every day I have ongoing conversations with the Divine that lead me to new people, opportunities, and yes, experiences. Surrender involves letting go of the familiar and allowing myself to be carried, in the “Flow of Life”, to those new people, opportunities, and experiences. It involves trust and builds a sense of adventure. I know I’ve moved out of the flow of life when I feel resistance to an opportunity or experience.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #cc99ff;"><strong>Please explain what it means to live beyond fears, limitations, and comfort zone?</strong></span></h4>
<p>Living Beyond, for me, means to move past those fears, limitations, and comfort zones by trusting that the journey meant for me is for my greatest and highest good and also for the good of others in my life. Fear shuts me down and stops me from moving forward. Living Beyond opens me up to possibilities and expands my thinking and perspective so that I can see life in a bigger way. As fresh opportunities arrive, I say “yes”, which moves me beyond my comfort zone as I try new things. Limitations are old ways of thinking and doing things. Going Beyond means I’m willing to open to new ways of thinking and doing things. Comfort zones keep us safe and also keep us from trying something that feels scary or uncomfortable. I believe in living beyond fears.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #cc99ff;"><strong>Give me some examples of embracing a sense of wonderment and adventure?</strong></span></h4>
<p>Embracing wonderment and adventure means living with a higher awareness of all that is going on in my life and seeing the connectedness of all things. Two years ago, I played a game that I created, in which I wrote 30 different activities on slips of paper and dropped them into a jar. Each day I drew out an activity and did it. What I quickly realized was that the activities, drawn at random, perfectly matched the amount of time I had each day or, amazingly, the weather. I only had two rainy day activities in the jar. I drew both of them on the only two rainy days I had during the month. What are the odds of that? That’s wonderment and that’s trust. It’s also the Divine at work in my life. When I asked the Divine, in amazement, “Do you want to play with me?”, the answer I received back was “Do you want to play with ME?” My answer was YES and my life hasn’t been the same since.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #cc99ff;"><strong>What is the main reason for your blog and what are you trying to achieve?</strong></span></h4>
<p>The purpose of Cindy Goes Beyond is to help readers realize that life can be lived at the edges&#8230;of comfort zones, limitations and fears. We can live BIG lives and experience joy, wonderment, and enchantment if we develop higher awareness. I share posts around nature, gardening, travel, and the inner journey&#8230;all with the intention of helping others to see what an enchanted life looks like.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #cc99ff;"><strong>Talk to me about some challenges you have been through and how you dealt with it and are thriving?</strong></span></h4>
<p>I grew up very fearful of many things. However, my primary fear was to live as the person I was created to be. I am an intuitive and yet I feared my abilities and tried to separate that “weird” part of me from my “normal” self. That didn’t work. It only shut down my creative side. Moving past my fears and accepting myself exactly as I am opened the door to my creative side again. And I moved beyond my fears by facing them and sitting with them and exploring my intuitive side. As I learned more about who I am and what I can do, the fears subsided.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #cc99ff;"><strong>Give yourself some advice when you were 16, 26, and 36?</strong></span></h4>
<p>Age 16: Don’t be in such a hurry to grow up. Spend your teen years getting to know yourself. And don’t be so concerned about what other people think. Be you, without hiding, without pretending to be someone else, just so people will feel comfortable around you. You are afraid because you don’t understand who you are.</p>
<p>Age 26: Enjoy these years with your young family. Encourage your son and daughters to be fully who they are, by showing them who you are. They will follow your example. Continue to invest in yourself by doing the things that bring you joy.</p>
<p>Age 36: This is your time to shine, as a woman. Banish any lingering fears and self-doubts and pursue the life you want. Know fully what your purpose in life is and don’t let anything get in your way as you live from that place of intentional being.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #cc99ff;"><strong>What does women&#8217;s empowerment mean to you?</strong></span></h4>
<p>Empowerment for women starts with complete acceptance of who we are. It’s an inner journey that manifests as an outer journey. We must learn to parent ourselves, if we had bad parents, and love ourselves deeply and fully if our spouses/lovers have not done that for us. We cannot look to others to do these things for us. We set ourselves free, and the people in our lives free, when we do not need acceptance and love to come from outside ourselves. Once we are free, we can help to free others to live extraordinary lives.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #cc99ff;"><strong>Give my female audience three pieces of advice?</strong></span></h4>
<p>Accept yourself completely. The journey to self-love begins with self-acceptance. Love yourself fully by embracing who you are and then really live from that space. Be you&#8230;and find the things that you enjoy doing. That is your passion.</p>
<p>Pursue your passion. Share your passion with others as you journey and you will make a difference in the lives of others.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #cc99ff;"><strong>How important are food, faith, finance, and family to you? How do you find a balance and prioritize among them?</strong></span></h4>
<p>They are all connected. The food we eat provides the building blocks for our bodies. The foods we choose can nourish and heal&#8230;or they can slowly poison us to death by fostering disease. I embraced a plant-based lifestyle three years ago, to heal my body of various ailments. There is no turning back for me. I am healthier than I have ever been and living life beyond fears has helped.</p>
<p>A second blog, Journey With Healthy Me was born from that decision to take charge of my health and help others do the same. I’ve discovered that as I healed, my desire increased to help others heal, and then even further out, I developed a deep desire to heal the planet as well. Faith is extremely important to me. I believe God, or the Divine, guides me daily. I listen through prayer and meditation but I also receive through songs, random conversations, signs, and intuition. Finances, or money, comes as we connect with who we are and do that which we are created to do. My family is my legacy. My children and grandchildren learn by my example and through our conversations. It is important for me to live a joy-filled, enchanted life so that they have “permission” to do the same.</p>
<p><img decoding="async" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-20437" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Untitled-Design-10.png" alt="" width="735" height="1102" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Untitled-Design-10.png 735w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Untitled-Design-10-200x300.png 200w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Untitled-Design-10-683x1024.png 683w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Untitled-Design-10-600x900.png 600w" sizes="(max-width: 735px) 100vw, 735px" /></p>
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		<item>
		<title>Real-Life Lessons Learned From Challenges</title>
		<link>https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/covid-19/</link>
					<comments>https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/covid-19/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[admin]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 01 Aug 2020 15:34:33 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Collaboration]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#bloggers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#coronavirus]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#covid]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#cuarentena]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#lifelessons]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#like]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#lockdown]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#pandemia]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#quarantine]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#quarentena]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#socialdistancing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#staysafe]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#yomequedoencasa]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/?p=21587</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<img width="300" height="157" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Untitled-Design-3-300x157.png" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="COVID-19" style="display: block; margin: auto; margin-bottom: 5px;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" decoding="async" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Untitled-Design-3-300x157.png 300w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Untitled-Design-3-1024x536.png 1024w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Untitled-Design-3-768x402.png 768w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Untitled-Design-3-760x400.png 760w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Untitled-Design-3-600x314.png 600w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Untitled-Design-3.png 1200w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /><p>Covid-19 has changed our lives forever. I will never forget September 11, 2001. As I entered the office, I had all kinds of plans and goals. I was getting married in 11 days. I wanted to make a few stock and currency trades. Stockbrokers around&#160;<a class="read-more" href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/covid-19/">&#8230;</a></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/covid-19/">Real-Life Lessons Learned From Challenges</a> appeared first on <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com">Four Columns of a Balanced Life</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<img width="300" height="157" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Untitled-Design-3-300x157.png" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="COVID-19" style="display: block; margin: auto; margin-bottom: 5px;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" decoding="async" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Untitled-Design-3-300x157.png 300w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Untitled-Design-3-1024x536.png 1024w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Untitled-Design-3-768x402.png 768w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Untitled-Design-3-760x400.png 760w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Untitled-Design-3-600x314.png 600w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Untitled-Design-3.png 1200w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /><div class="_3e7u _16ys _n4o _1a6y _5z-5 _6dm2">
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<p>Covid-19 has changed our lives forever. I will never forget September 11, 2001. As I entered the office, I had all kinds of plans and goals. I was getting <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/12-diamond-rules-of-marriage/">married</a> in 11 days. I wanted to make a few stock and currency trades. Stockbrokers around me were joking that some drunken person had driven his Cessna plane into the twin towers. I was surrounded by computer screens showing me all the trades that had happened overnight. I then looked at the television and saw the second plane hit the tower. It was the defining moment of my generation that changed our lives. The market crash of 2008, left its harsh marks forever. In my short life, I have seen the fall of the Berlin Wall and Apartheid. Both have made the world a better place. I have seen SARS, Ebola, and Bird Flu.</p>
<p>I was looking forward to 2020. My daughter was turning 16 and I wanted to surprise her with a trip to Eastern Europe. We have been traveling since she was young and had seen the whole of North America, Central America, Caribbean and Western Europe.  I was also interviewing for a dream job.</p>
<p>The news about Covid-19 hit the news around the same time that Kobe Bryant died. A lot of us dismissed the virus. Even at Canadian airports, just a basic check was being done on travelers coming in.</p>
<p>In January, my wife got diagnosed with cancer. In February she had a mastectomy. The quarantine hit in March. All my plans got squashed.</p>
<p>The first thing I am learning is that I am not in control. I cannot control the disease that is ravaging my wife, I cannot control my daughter, I cannot control the economy.</p>
<p>The second thing I am learning is to appreciate life. I had taken life for granted. I had taken my wife&#8217;s health for granted. I am learning to appreciate my family.</p>
<p>A lot of people have asked me how am I doing. I am focusing on being grateful. It is that <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/attitude-of-gratitude/">gratitude</a> that keeps me going.</p>
<p>Finally, I am slowing down. I am taking it one hour, one day at a time.</p>
<p>I have asked bloggers from around the world to share what they have <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/resilience-stress-management/">learned</a> through the Covid-19 crisis.</p>
<p><strong>Name</strong>: Sharon</p>
<p><strong>Blog</strong>: Dailydream360</p>
<p>I thought I had this self-isolation thing down before the COVID-19 crisis started. I thought I already work from home and live alone, so how hard can a COVID-19 lockdown be? Here is what I discovered about myself and my business during the lockdown.</p>
<p><strong>Discipline and Schedule</strong>: One of the most important things for me was maintaining my productivity and daily schedule. Even when I had no client work or with website traffic at an all-time low, I made sure that I set aside time to sit in front of the computer and get some job done. I made sure that my schedule also included time for Yoga, a workout, or even a walk around my condo to get to 5,000 steps a day.</p>
<p><strong>Change of Scenery</strong>: I can&#8217;t complain about my condo size, I live in an 1100 sq. ft.  However, I found early into the lockdown that sitting in my office too long made me go a bit stir crazy. Being self-employed, I used to go to a workspace, coffee shop, or even the library to change my location. During the lockdown, I created a standing desk at my Kitchen island and moved between the office and kitchen to do different work tasks. When the weather warmed up, I created a beautiful outdoor work area on my balcony to take out my laptop and sit and do some writing or other administrative tasks.</p>
<p><strong>Getting Out of My Head</strong>: The curse of the self-employed person is the dialogue in your head all day. I didn&#8217;t want to spend all the time working and worrying about what was going to happen. With no clients and the doom and gloom online, I had to distract myself from the news. I made sure to find activities I can do to entertain myself. I bought puzzles to work on over the weekends, read many books and participated in several cocktail hours over zoom with friends.</p>
<p><strong>Name</strong>: Liz</p>
<p><strong>Blog</strong>: Mindingmythirties</p>
<p>COVID-19 taught me the importance of slowing down. I didn’t realize how much I needed to catch my breath and decompress. I was constantly rushing from one thing to the next and this forced quarantine really taught me to redirect my energy in a more sustainable way. It also served as a good reminder of what&#8217;s truly important &#8211; the things we cannot replace &#8211; like our health and mental well-being. The markets crashed and most people lost some money, myself included, but I’m beyond thankful for my health. And no matter what happens in the economy &#8211; I need to put that first and foremost. Because without it all the money in the world is useless.</p>
<p><strong>Name</strong>: Lyosha</p>
<p><strong>Blog</strong>: lyoshathegirl</p>
<p>The biggest lesson I have learned is to slow down.  I live in a megapolis with 12 million people and everyone is <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/work-100-hours-a-week/">rushing</a>. The pandemic resulted in everything getting canceled and my schedule was empty. I like to rush, I like being busy and want my calendar filled. I watched the fashion week on a laptop with my puppy. For the first time in 5 years, I was not working on my birthday. It was fresh. But at the same time, this lesson of keeping it still, canceling the crazy life around you is not a lesson I truly want to share.</p>
<p>We need to take advantage of the time and opportunities we have. We think ‘I’ll go on vacation when I finish this project’, ‘I don’t want to go anywhere to see my family because I am tired from work’, ‘I can’t find time for the gym yet’, ‘I’ll have it done next week’, ‘I’ll wait for better offer’ — familiar, right? I didn’t go to visit my grandmother because I wanted to have some rest. I didn’t cut my hair because I thought I had plenty of time.  The pandemic closed our borders. My grandmother&#8217;s condition got worse and she does not recognize me anymore. I have stopped waiting for a better moment to do stuff.  Life is unpredictable, the future is unknown, the only time you actually have is now.</p>
<p><strong>Name</strong>: Kimmy</p>
<p><strong>Blog</strong>: StoryTale</p>
<p>2020, the world was looking forward to this new decade with space travels for the commoners when the pandemic hit unexpectedly. Not once in my lifetime nor in my mum’s lifetime did we witness a global economic halt on such a scale. People were rampaging through supermarkets to fight for the last roll of toilet paper. Insanity couldn’t even begin to describe it.</p>
<p>The bitter moments in life only make the sweet ones even sweeter. Throughout this storm of madness, I witnessed the best in people around me. Friends that were willing to share their last box of face masks, strangers that stood in the streets to distribute toilet paper rolls&#8230;All these are hilarious, yet heartwarming.</p>
<p>Who’d have known a year ago that one roll of toilet paper can let you see through a person so well? Not only was this a chance to learn about people around me, but it was also a chance for me to get to know myself. Am I willing to share in such desperate times, not knowing if I will have enough for myself?</p>
<p>What I have learned from COVID-19 is to give, even when times are tough. We live in a collective society. By helping others to contain it, you are helping yourself. I think that’s a lesson many countries learned the hard way.</p>
<p><strong>Name</strong>: Stephanie</p>
<p><strong>Blog</strong>: Mama Shark.</p>
<p>When they first announced we were going to be under a stay-at-home order for 2 weeks, I immediately felt anxiety creeping in- what was I going to do at home with my kids for 2 weeks???</p>
<p>Now we’re nearly 4 months into being at home, and while I am very excited for some sense of normal to eventually return, I’ve learned some things I didn’t expect:</p>
<ol>
<li><strong>My kids don’t need to be given things to do all the time. </strong>Sure, it’s nice to have a plan for something fun, but a routine that includes time for them to be creative is ok! They actually enjoy it, and we’ve ended up with some fun daily activities- like dance parties!</li>
</ol>
<ol>
<li><strong>It’s really nice to not have to rush as much in the mornings. </strong>My kids are morning people, so we’re still up early, but not having to push them to get ready quickly has been nice.</li>
</ol>
<ol>
<li><strong>It’s okay to not pay full attention to my kids every time I’m in their presence.</strong>  Now, I’m not saying it’s okay to ignore my kids, but I’ve realized that the pressure I felt to always engage every moment is not necessary.</li>
</ol>
<p><strong>Name</strong>: Matt</p>
<p><strong>Blog</strong>: Digital Sages</p>
<p>Overall, I’ve generally discovered that less really can be more- though I’m still very ready to get out of the house eventually!</p>
<p>One glaring issue that the COVID-19 crisis has shown is the absence of discipline and personal <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/thrive-by-taking-responsibility/">responsibility</a> evident throughout our country. The lack of self-control is staggering, and perhaps a testament to how our society teaches us to constantly defer responsibility and indulge in emotionalism rather than calmly address situations with logic and <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/yoga-meditation-and-mindfulness-benefits/">mindfulness</a>.</p>
<p>We could all do with a bit more awareness. Of the words we speak, of the actions, we take, of what we are thinking at any given moment. It’s clear that there is a lack of understanding in regards to how our thoughts and actions affect other people, and this has never been more evident than in the last couple of months. Runs on stores, people fighting over toilet paper, people losing their minds in supermarkets just because they get called out for not wearing a mask.</p>
<p>It’s not difficult to wear a mask. It’s not difficult to be considerate of other people. COVID-19 has shown that many of us need to take a step back and simply re-focus on the moment and practice a bit more self-control. Higher awareness leads to a happier life.</p>
<p><strong>Name</strong>: Jaishree Nenwani</p>
<p><strong>Blog</strong>: GetSetHappy.</p>
<p><strong>We can lead a better life when we are not participating in the rat race: </strong></p>
<p>Prior to the pandemic, in the so-called normal life, we all are busy with rushing to work, spending long hours there, and always under pressure to meet the targets. COVID-19 sidelined all those “targets”, locked down the whole world inside the home, where you got to stay with those people who were mostly ignored while you were busy making money.</p>
<p><strong>We really don’t need too much to live a happy and healthy life.</strong></p>
<p>We have lived through a lockdown. The Shelter, food, water, communication, medicines and education and entertainment were all we had. And we lived quite well with this much. This lockdown has forced us to realize, what we actually need to live our lives reasonably well.</p>
<p>Lastly, I would say Life never stops, it keeps moving. We need to do the same before life slips out of our hands. Live well, enjoy the time with your family, and stay connected with your loved ones. Life is precisely and worth living every moment.</p>
<p>Live. Love. Laugh and this pandemic too shall pass.</p>
<p><strong>Name</strong>: Tiffany</p>
<p><strong>Blog</strong>: SavingTalents.</p>
<p>One thing I&#8217;ve learned during COVID-19 is how to redefine how I measure myself as a mother.  I homeschool my kids, and we always had at least one extracurricular activity out of the home every single day.  We were very busy, but I felt satisfaction at the end of each day because I was coordinating learning and fun for my kids.</p>
<p>I didn&#8217;t realize how little I engaged with my children outside of school and activities, however.  Now that we are home all day, every day (as well as with a new baby born in May), I can no longer feel satisfaction in how good of a job I&#8217;m doing with my previous measuring tools.  I now have to be proactive and deliberate in my relationship and interactions with my children.</p>
<p>I&#8217;m learning that my love languages are definitely not my children&#8217;s love languages.  I am seeing a lot of ways where I fall short on a daily basis because I no longer have outside activities that force me to engage with my kids.  By nature, I&#8217;m not the most nurturing person &#8211; it&#8217;s always been a struggle for me.  I love my children, but I could go all day without having to do things with them.  I didn&#8217;t realize how much I hid behind our extracurriculars.  This process has been extremely humbling, and it requires a great deal of effort and going outside of my comfort zone.</p>
<p><strong>Name</strong>: Vanesh</p>
<p><strong>Blog</strong>: TechnoVans</p>
<p><strong>Learned to help more Indian Startups to promote their online business &#8211; </strong>I helped some businesses to increase their online visibility through my blog Technovans. Many China made apps got banned in India, hence I have spread the awareness of developing our own apps and helped Indian founders, software professionals to promote their apps.</p>
<p><strong>Learned to make more connections to some awesome bloggers &#8211; </strong>I used the time I save from traveling for my blog. I read a lot in this period and learned how to use social media to increase the traffic to our blog or website. I connected with some awesome bloggers. I got some more guest posts from Twitter-connections to get published on my blog. I have focused more on Twitter to increase the traffic to my blog.</p>
<p><strong>Name</strong>: Brenda</p>
<p><strong>Blog</strong>: MyAngelsVoice.</p>
<p>COVID-19&#8230;I Am So Over It</p>
<p>We all woke up on January 1st 2020&#8230;.with high hopes of what the brand-new year would bring&#8230;vacations we would take&#8230;people we would meet. The world was our oyster&#8230;but wait a minute&#8230;&#8221;Stop the Press!&#8221; Our world as we knew it was no longer within reach&#8230;and frankly getting farther and farther away from our grasp.</p>
<p>Working for surgeons&#8230;this is what I do everyday&#8230;. well&#8230;. our world stopped because elective cases were at a standstill&#8230;it was eight long weeks before surgeries slowly began again&#8230;finally a small bit of normalcy.</p>
<p>For me personally…what I&#8217;ve learned from this pandemic is that COVID-19 has only amplified the need for people to pull together&#8230;to realize how fragile life really is and how easily can be taken away. That material things&#8230;well are just material things. I have a love-hate relationship with the face masks that I wear every day but will continue to wear until it is safe not too&#8230;because it&#8217;s not just about me&#8230;I&#8217;m wearing it for you.</p>
<p><strong>Name</strong>: Nadia Malik</p>
<p><strong>Blog</strong>: SpeakingOfCents.</p>
<p>Most of us have been adapting to the new normal as a result of Covid-19 and if I am completely honest it hasn&#8217;t been easy. Being a mom and an online business owner, I have struggled with several things but here are some things I have learned during this time. Being organized with my personal life and my work is super important in order to create harmony and balance. Being productive with the small pockets of time in my hectic routine has brought positive effects. I have become better at switching quickly between my mom&#8217;s duties and work commitments. I have made my peace with the fact that there are certain things in my business that cannot continue at this moment and I have to pivot and find new ways to grow my business. I have learned many new skills that I would have never tried if it was not for this pandemic. Learning to adapt is my biggest lesson during Covid-19.</p>
<p><strong>Name</strong>: Jessie</p>
<p><strong>Blog</strong>: Bright-Eyed &amp; Ginger-Haired</p>
<p>I think I speak for a lot of people by saying that this whole year has kind of been a blur. I can’t believe that it’s already July honestly. Just four months ago I was living over 10,000 miles away in West Java, Indonesia teaching English with the Peace Corps and now I’m sitting in my childhood home waiting for this whole thing out so that I can hopefully return someday. I guess the main thing that I’ve learned throughout this entire experience is that nothing is permanent. No matter how set you may think your plans are, things can always change. I’ve also learned a lot about patience and acceptance. Even though this year has been completely different from how I pictured it would be, accepting that this is my life in this moment and in this season has been incredibly beneficial on my mental health and overall productivity throughout quarantine. It has also been reassuring to discover that just like my time in Indonesia, this crazy period in our lives too will pass. It may be a long time before things are “back to normal,” but it will pass and we will enter another season.</p>
<p><strong>Name</strong>: Hope</p>
<p><strong>Blog</strong>: UndertheMedian</p>
<p>Like most families with a houseful of kids, over the years our schedule had become overburdened with activities. Although each of them seemed to be adding to our lives in at least in some meaningful way, when taken as a whole, we often found ourselves running daily from one commitment to the next. We were six people, existing in the same space, yet not connecting in any meaningful way.</p>
<p>Suddenly, the clubs, choirs, and classes were gone. Even church morphed into a socially-distanced, on-line event. Overnight, we had T-I-M-E for each other. We went for walks and bike rides, played board games, and imparted faith and encouragement to one another in a way we hadn’t for many years.</p>
<p>COVID-19 taught us that in order to connect as a family, we need to carefully consider the events which fill our days and nights. Today, we have prioritized, paring back our schedule, leaving breathing space and downtime. We are more balanced, more aware, and more intentional. We are a better family because of the lessons we learned during COVID-19.</p>
<p><strong>Name</strong>: Scott DeNicola</p>
<p><strong>Blog</strong>: www.dadontheedge.com</p>
<p>COVID-19 has not been easy on anyone but it has taught us a valuable lesson on the importance of family and slowing down to enjoy each other&#8217;s company. We all lead a very busy life and my house is no exception. I work a full-time job, run a web site, and in the evenings work a personal shopping and delivery service in my surrounding area. My <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/10-lessons-in-20-years-that-my-wife-has-taught-me/">wife</a> works full time and my oldest daughter attends college and works part-time and teaches dance. My youngest <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/discover-10-life-lessons-my-daughter-has-taught-me-so-far/">daughter</a> is in high school, on the varsity kickline team and dances 4 nights a week. Needless to say, we are rarely all together in the house at one time for anything other than sleep. COVID-19 has forced us all to remain together for several months and we’ve enjoyed having dinners together and going for walks and bike rides around the neighborhood. It has taught us that in the end, the most important part of your life is right inside your four walls and under your roof. That is and always will be your immediate family.</p>
<p><strong>Name</strong>: Ronita</p>
<p><strong>Blog</strong>: Erraticrantings</p>
<p>I wonder if anyone can use the words “lockdown” or “viral” anymore without shuddering. People already have and are continuing to pay a huge price for the coronavirus. Migrant workers have been forced out of cities, hospital doors have been closed to the less fortunate, people have died on the streets. We may never know their stories.</p>
<p>Our minds are longing for a return to normalcy. But the biggest lesson of all is that nothing can be worse than returning to normalcy. That’s because the pre-coronavirus “normal” with its capitalism and casteism, its religious fundamentalism, its indifference to suffering, its prejudices, and ignorance is what led to the inability of coping with the crisis. We have built this doomsday for ourselves.</p>
<p>It is time to realize that our pre-pandemic ways of living do not measure up to the situation of the world anymore. There are costs associated with the choices that affect people around us, knowingly or unknowingly.</p>
<p>I have realized the importance of trading some of my freedom for the greater good of the public. I have learned that there is never only one answer to a problem and that there are more alternatives than we allow ourselves to see. Covid-19 is an eye-opener. It has offered me the chance to reassess my actions of the past and put in the effort, in my capacity, to help build a better society, a new normal.</p>
<p><strong>Name</strong>: Sonia</p>
<p><strong>Blog</strong>: Lifewithsonia</p>
<p>I have learned a lot from Covid-19 and the chaos that came with it. I never really understood what it meant when people say ‘Sonia, count your blessings’, until now.</p>
<p>We live in a world where everybody is comfortable with complaining and getting angry about things that don’t matter. To point where we forget to appreciate every moment of the beauty of having to breathe the fresh air of life itself.</p>
<p>I count my blessings based on the fact that even with a medical condition, I am alive, healthy and strong. It was a bit confusing because I did not think the Royal family, Presidents, Politicians, were untouchable. COVID-19 has made me realize it doesn’t matter how rich or poor you are, taking care of your health is vital to achieving anything in life.</p>
<p>It has been the wakeup call that I needed to stop complaining about the things I want but can’t have. And start appreciating the little things basic things that I need and have more. Such as making my health a priority as well as protecting people around me, spending time with family and close friends. Doing what I love more and maintaining a positive mindset.</p>
<p><strong>Name</strong>: Amanda Griesbaum</p>
<p><strong>Blog</strong>: Followingisidore</p>
<p>COVID-19 has been an interesting time.  While its impacts haven’t seemed as great in our rural community, it has made a few things very clear: I love living in the county with a big yard and space to let my kids run and play (people in apartments/small spaces/no yard, how did you survive?!), I really don’t need to run everywhere and, I don’t care for virtual learning as a teacher-I thought keeping kids engaged in a classroom was hard!</p>
<p>The biggest take-away for me, however, is that I really did enjoy working from home and being available for my family. I always saw myself as needing to work outside of the home.  I love to work, solve problems, and feel that excited push toward a goal. Now, I realize there are other options that will allow me to keep those feelings and still have an income as I prioritize my family and our farm.  This knowledge is an incredibly exciting/terrifying shift in what I thought I needed.</p>
<p>That realization has motivated me to start an online-based business. That way I can DO what I love and take care of WHO I love how I want to.</p>
<p><strong>Name</strong>: Lina</p>
<p><strong>Blog</strong>: thecaffeinatedintrovert</p>
<p>Prior to COVID, our world has been a constant go go go.  But then COVID-19 happened to force us all to stay home and practice social distancing. With the sudden shutdown, we HAD to slow down. While it is very scary not to know what we don’t know, it has been a great reminder to me to slow down. We do not need all the material things we once thought we needed, we don’t need to eat out every week or even every day and we don’t need to feel the need to do that next big thing.</p>
<p>I am a nurse and it did not slow down for me at work. As with most of the world, we had to shift gear and develop protocols in a constantly<br />
changing environment. And continue to learn every day.</p>
<p>The biggest thing I learned about myself during this time is I needed to slow down and take care of myself. As a mom, nurse, and self-proclaimed workaholic,  I am so focused on others&#8217; wellbeing. I have been making self-care a priority for me and it has definitely helped me get through those tough days.</p>
<p><strong>Name</strong>: Jayshree</p>
<p><strong>Blog</strong>: <a href="https://literarygitane.wordpress.com/">literarygitane</a></p>
<p>I am getting to know my family more intimately. I enjoy having personal and philosophical conversations with my <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/ten-skills-required-to-be-a-successful-husband/">husband</a> and children instead of mainly discussing their work or course selections and sports schedules. We go on hikes, we bake bread and pull weeds together from the garden beds. We are discovering joy in the mundane moments and we have become more contemplative and introspective.</p>
<p>On my daily walks, I am discovering the beauty of my neighborhood that I had taken for granted. I stop to appreciate the papery scroll-like texture of the bark of birch or to observe a bunny hopping across the length of a lawn. I don’t have to travel far away to see a spectacular sight in nature. Beauty and love are not elusive ideals but can be found in the most unremarkable moments.</p>
<p>I now understand that we cannot control everything in life and that our days on the planet could be shorter than we might realize. I have learned to embrace uncertainty. When normalcy returns, I hope I will never return to that frenzied pace of living but take time to smell the roses. Covid-19 has changed my outlook and made me realize that what matters most is a connection with my near and dear ones and with nature.</p>
<p><strong>Name</strong>: Cindy</p>
<p><strong>Blog</strong>: Cindygoesbeyond</p>
<p>This is what COVID19 taught me. Nothing, not even a worldwide pandemic, can cage me or stop me from living the life I am creating.</p>
<p>Yes, it changed my travel plans. I adapted by coming up with new ways to explore my world, from creating a backyard paradise to establishing monthly road trips to places I’ve not been to, within 150 miles from home.</p>
<p>And I’ve enjoyed spending time with my grandchildren after stay-at-home orders lifted. It’s a confusing time for children as well, with the school year ending early and an uncertain fall reopening. We’ve had deep and meaningful conversations around all that is happening in the world and I treasure those talks.</p>
<p>COVID19 helped me clarify my desires and intentions. It’s helped me to define what I do and don’t want in my life. It’s shown me the importance of maintaining my health and boosting my immune system. And it’s revealed the strength and resiliency of people around the world.</p>
<p>I’ll certainly remember this year as one of the most unique in my lifetime. We can learn and grow through any situation and circumstance.</p>
<p><img decoding="async" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-21865" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Untitled-Design-5.png" alt="covid19" width="735" height="1102" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Untitled-Design-5.png 735w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Untitled-Design-5-200x300.png 200w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Untitled-Design-5-683x1024.png 683w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Untitled-Design-5-600x900.png 600w" sizes="(max-width: 735px) 100vw, 735px" /></p>
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		<title>Resilience &#038; Stress Management</title>
		<link>https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/resilience-stress-management/</link>
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		<pubDate>Fri, 12 Jun 2020 14:29:28 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Faith]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#community]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#coronavirus]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#courage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#covid]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#growth]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#healing]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[#hope]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#inspiration]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#mentalhealth]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#mentalhealthawareness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#mindfulness]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[#motivation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#resilience]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[#selflove]]></category>
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					<description><![CDATA[<img width="300" height="157" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/Untitled-Design-300x157.png" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="resilience" style="display: block; margin: auto; margin-bottom: 5px;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" decoding="async" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/Untitled-Design-300x157.png 300w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/Untitled-Design-1024x536.png 1024w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/Untitled-Design-768x402.png 768w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/Untitled-Design-760x400.png 760w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/Untitled-Design-600x314.png 600w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/Untitled-Design.png 1200w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /><p>Resilience is how well people deal with and bounce back from the challenges of life. Resilience is the process of adjusting positively as you face challenges, tragedy, adversity, threats, and major sources of stress like job loss, divorce, financial issues, health problems, workplace discrimination, or&#160;<a class="read-more" href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/resilience-stress-management/">&#8230;</a></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/resilience-stress-management/">Resilience &#038; Stress Management</a> appeared first on <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com">Four Columns of a Balanced Life</a>.</p>
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										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<img width="300" height="157" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/Untitled-Design-300x157.png" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="resilience" style="display: block; margin: auto; margin-bottom: 5px;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" decoding="async" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/Untitled-Design-300x157.png 300w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/Untitled-Design-1024x536.png 1024w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/Untitled-Design-768x402.png 768w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/Untitled-Design-760x400.png 760w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/Untitled-Design-600x314.png 600w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/Untitled-Design.png 1200w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /><p>Resilience is how well people deal with and bounce back from the challenges of life. Resilience is the process of adjusting positively as you face challenges, tragedy, adversity, threats, and major sources of stress like job loss,<a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/divorce-from-a-financial-perspective/"> divorce</a>, <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/finance-debt-credit/">financial</a> issues, health problems, workplace discrimination, or the current COVID crisis. Resilience is not only about bouncing back, but also about learning and growing from the experience. The challenges are difficult and painful, but one needs to be aware of what they can control. Resilience helps you walk through the challenging times in your life and empowers you.</p>
<p>Resilience does not mean you will not face challenges in your life. The truth is that some of the most resilient people have faced and gone through the most challenging things a person can face. Resilience can be learned and involves developing actions, behaviors, and thoughts that help you bounce back from traumatic events in your life.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>The Three  Aspects of Resilience</strong></span></h4>
<p>Susan Kobasa, a leading psychologist, talks about the three aspects of resilience. The first is the challenge. When you are facing difficulties in your life, you have to see it as a challenge and not as an event that will paralyze you. The difficulty has to be viewed as an opportunity to learn and grow, and not negatively. The second is that you have to be committed to your goals, values, ethos, friendships, relationships, and beliefs, and find a reason to get up in the morning. The third part is to focus on what you can control. When you focus on what you can control and let go, you feel confident and empowered. If you focus on what you cannot control, it will make you feel powerless.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>Where is My GPS?</strong></span></h4>
<p>Life on planet Earth does not come with a GPS. However, the challenges and the traumatic events of life on Earth can impact us negatively. These events bring up a variety of feelings, emotions, thoughts, and uncertainty. Debbie has been battling cancer for six months. Last week I got a text that someone I have known my whole life committed suicide. I have been asked a lot about how I manage to stay resilient. Here are my eleven secrets to staying resilient. I have included quotes from strong women who have been resilient in their lives.</p>
<p><img decoding="async" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-21398" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/Untitled-Design-2.png" alt="resilience" width="735" height="1102" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/Untitled-Design-2.png 735w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/Untitled-Design-2-200x300.png 200w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/Untitled-Design-2-683x1024.png 683w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/Untitled-Design-2-600x900.png 600w" sizes="(max-width: 735px) 100vw, 735px" /></p>
<h4><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>Find a purpose and a deeper meaning</strong></span></h4>
<p>Grief and resilience live together &#8211; Michelle Obama, Becoming</p>
<p>One of my best friends committed suicide two years after high school. In the last few years, I have lost one of my closest friends from university and another from the business world. Last week, someone from my youth group committed suicide. As we come across a tragedy or a crisis in our personal lives we have to find a sense of purpose. I started a blog, got more involved in volunteering, more introspective, and started aligning all my activities with my goals and values.</p>
<p>As Debbie fights cancer, I am learning to become more compassionate, understanding, kind, and gentle.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>Be Positive about your capabilities</strong></span></h4>
<p>I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it &#8211; Maya Angelo</p>
<p>When Debbie was diagnosed with cancer, my daughter was handling it the best. She was just confident. I learned from her that we have to be confident about our capabilities on how to handle this event in our family. I had to focus on what we call a SWOT analysis in the business world. However, I had to focus on my strengths and keep the positive tape in my brain going.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>Friendships are important</strong></span></h4>
<p>I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance, never settle for the path of least resistance &#8211; Lee Ann Womack, I Hope You Dance</p>
<p>I would not have made it through the present crisis without close friends. I continue to stay connected with friends and cousins to share my feelings about what I am going through. This support does wonders for our emotional, physical, spiritual, mental, and psychological health.</p>
<p>It is important to also connect with people who are understanding, gentle, compassionate, empathetic, and who validate what you are going through. I have spoken to many people whose spouses have gone through cancer. It helps what you are feeling is natural. Sometimes there is a natural tendency to isolate ourselves. It is important to connect with people.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>The only constant in life is change</strong></span></h4>
<p>Resilience isn&#8217;t a single skill. It&#8217;s a variety of skills and coping mechanisms. To bounce back from bumps in the road as well as failures, you should focus on emphasizing the positive &#8211; Jean Chatzky</p>
<p>When I was doing my MBA and as we studied about companies that survived and those that perished the only difference was the survivors adapted to change. We have to constantly adapt to our surroundings. Stick to your values and core concepts but we have to adapt. Those that are flexible and embrace the changes thrive in the long run. I had to adapt my lifestyle and my attitude about being a spouse of a cancer patient.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>Be Confident </strong></span></h4>
<p>Like tiny seeds with potent power to push through tough ground and become mighty trees, we hold innate reserves of unimaginable strength. We are resilient &#8211; Catherine DeVrye, The Gift of Nature</p>
<p>When we are going through challenging times, it is tough to be confident in the tunnel. However, you have to cling to hope and focus on staying positive. Positive thinking does not mean you ignore the problem or the challenges you are facing. It means that the stumbling blocks are temporary and we need to focus on our capabilities to handle the challenge. I am confident that after chemo and radiation Debbie will make it through the end of November.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>Self-care</strong></span></h4>
<p>Courage doesn&#8217;t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying &#8216;I will try again tomorrow &#8211; Mary Anne Radmacher</p>
<p>Taking care of yourself is the most important thing you can do for yourself. You need to eat healthy food, get sleep, rest, build new skills, and even seek counseling.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>Focus on solutions, not problems</strong></span></h4>
<p>The world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it &#8211; Helen Keller</p>
<p>No matter what we are going through, focus on solutions. Do not ask why me but what now. There are times when there is no solution. However, you have to try to take baby steps to make your situation less stressful.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>Join a group</strong></span></h4>
<p>She stood in the storm and when the wind did not blow her way, she adjusted her sails &#8211; Elizabeth Edwards</p>
<p>I have spoken to many men whose spouses have gone through cancer. When you talk to other people who have gone through similar circumstances it helps you. Join a group of people who are going through similar issues. Talk about it and get together. It will do miracles for you. It is good to talk and get things out. If you keep it inside, you end with a lot of psycho-somatic issues.<strong> </strong></p>
<h4><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>Practice mindfulness</strong></span></h4>
<p>Rock bottom became the solid foundation in which I rebuilt my life &#8211; J.K. Rowling</p>
<p>Mindfulness is the basic human ability to be fully present, aware of where we are and what we’re doing, and not overly reactive or overwhelmed by what’s going on around us. I personally find breathing very helpful.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>Focus on one goal</strong></span></h4>
<p>The human capacity for burden is like bamboo- far more flexible than you&#8217;d ever believe at first glance &#8211; Jodi Picoult, My Sister&#8217;s Keeper</p>
<p>As Debbie goes through cancer, we just take it one day at a time. There is a tendency to focus on the end and how it will all look once chemo and radiation are done.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>Ask for help</strong></span></h4>
<p>Resilience is accepting your new reality, even if it&#8217;s less good than the one you had before. You can fight it, you can do nothing but scream about what you&#8217;ve lost, or you can accept that and try to put together something that&#8217;s good &#8211; Elizabeth Edwards</p>
<p>I am bad at asking for help. My wife is even worse. However, I was challenged to ask for help. As I asked for help, I have a meal train for us and people driving Debbie for her chemo and other appointments.</p>
<p>The key takeaway from this post is that whenever you are going through a challenging time, in order to be resilient:</p>
<p>Do not listen to the news, it is all negative, look to other sources for empowerment and inspiration</p>
<p>It is ok to cry and express what you are going through</p>
<p>Go for a walk and connect with nature</p>
<p>Focus on your strengths and be confident</p>
<p>Have a real, deep and vulnerable conversation with a close friend or family member</p>
<p>Talk to someone who has gone through or going through similar challenges like you</p>
<p><a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/what-is-prayer/">Pray</a>, <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/yoga-meditation-and-mindfulness-benefits/">meditate</a> and connect with a higher power</p>
<p><a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/attitude-of-gratitude/">Write</a> what you are going through and feeling</p>
<p>Practice kindness towards others and to yourself</p>
<p>Music inspires and empowers you, listen to it</p>
<p><a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B-Lnmqnpexa/">Breathe</a> deeply</p>
<p>Take it one day and one hour at a time. Focus on the present.</p>
<p><img decoding="async" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-21396" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/Untitled-Design-1.png" alt="resilience" width="735" height="1102" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/Untitled-Design-1.png 735w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/Untitled-Design-1-200x300.png 200w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/Untitled-Design-1-683x1024.png 683w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/Untitled-Design-1-600x900.png 600w" sizes="(max-width: 735px) 100vw, 735px" /></p>
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