Hollywood produced a powerful movie on women’s empowerment Erin Brockovich. Directed by Steven Soderbergh and released in 2000, the movie is based on the true story of Erin Brockovich, a single mother who fights against a corporate giant for polluting the water supply of a small town in California. The movie highlights the strength and determination of a woman who, despite all odds, emerges as a champion of justice.

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Tiv Perfume recently launched a campaign called the Love Yourself Challenge, which is all about empowering women to love themselves, be all they can be and lead their best lives. The seven-step challenge encourages women to invest in their emotional wellbeing through self-love, and by giving themselves permission to have the things they want and deserve in life. I pose some questions to Cynthia who founded the firm and talks about women empowerment.

Cynthia, please tell me a little about yourself?

I’ve been in the fashion and beauty industry all my professional life as a model and then, at the age of 25, I became fashion coordinator at Kaufmann’s Department Store in Pittsburgh, my hometown. Kaufmann’s was the flagship store in the May Department Stores retail chain, now Macy’s.  Since that time, I was promoted to Fashion Director at the May Company Department stores in Cleveland.  From Cleveland, I moved to New York to become Director of Fashion and Beauty Marketing at Essence Magazine. I was recruited from Essence to the headquarters of Estee Lauder in Manhattan as a marketing director in the fragrance division.  After a number of years with Estee Lauder Company, I embraced my entrepreneurial spirit and developed my own fragrance line, Tiv … The Designer Fragrance of the Caribbean.

Let’s talk about Tiv Perfume. I have heard of French, Italian and Swiss perfumes. Never from the Caribbean. So, what is unique about your perfume and why should women buy it?

I moved to the Caribbean to create Tiv in its own environment.  While there were a number of local fragrances on many of the islands, there was no designer fragrance that represented the beauty, sunshine and exotic scents of the Caribbean.  For me, there was a simple solution.  Creating Tiv was the natural thing to do.  Tiv was successfully launched in the Bahamas and became a favorite with tourists from all over the world, as well as the locals.

Help me understand what is the Love Yourself Challenge all about and how does this empower women?

The Love Yourself Challenge is about empowering women to love themselves in the most profound way…by leading their best life. It’s about encouraging women to have confidence, strength, self-love, self-worth, and feel beautiful… to be successful in life, to LOVE their life. To live their dreams and achieve their goals, and not give them up to make sacrifices for others, as we women often do (for our families, kids, husbands, etc). As we get older, we let our dreams fade, and we give up on our joy. And as we fall out of love with our lives, we lose the motivation to care for ourselves. We’re so busy and stressed that we stop looking after our health and our emotional wellbeing.

We want to make sure women everywhere know it’s okay to look out for themselves and focus on self-love, that they have the power to turn their life around and start truly LOVING their life, and loving themselves. Because that’s the most critical aspect of your life… We aren’t truly whole or happy unless we love ourselves fully.

Walk me through the seven-step process?

The seven steps of the Love Yourself Challenge focus on:

1. It’s time to live your dreams and start doing the things you’ve ALWAYS wanted to do. Before, it’s too late.
2. Use affirmations instead of negative self-talk. We criticize ourselves every day, thinking things and saying things when we look in the mirror that we would NEVER say to a loved one. So why are we saying them to ourselves?!
3. Make rest and relaxation a necessity in your life, and learn how to figure out your most productive times during the day. It is critical we rest during our natural “down-times”, and not only for our health but in order to be our happiest and most successful.
4. Learn the importance of building quality relationships with friends that inspire you and encourage you to be the best person you can be. Remember, you directly reflect the people you hand out with the most.
5. How to start loving keeping your body healthy and fit. If you don’t love exercise, you’re not doing the right type of exercise for you!
6. Achieving your goals is the key to leading a fulfilling life. But your goals and dreams will never become a reality if you don’t get clear on what EXACTLY you want to achieve, map them out, break them down into steps, and start taking action.
7. How to find a creative practice. Giving yourself permission to take the time to be joyfully creative is one of the most profound ways to love yourself.

Why did you launch this challenge? Is it more a marketing gimmick or sincerely helping women?

The reason we launched the Love Yourself Challenge is because, as women, we know what women struggle with the most, and we wanted to do something that had the potential to truly change women’s lives. Something truly, deeply meaningful. Something that would make a profound impact on women across the nation, even around the globe, if we can spread our challenge wide enough. The Love Yourself Challenge aims to help women from all walks of life and all aspects of the struggle, to live the life they deserve. To live happily, healthily, and meaningfully. To love their bodies and their reflection. And to live their dreams.

Our only dream for the Love Yourself Challenge is that any woman who has found value and impact from the challenge share it with their friends and family, to help us change as many women’s lives as possible, on the largest scale we can.

What does women’s empowerment mean to you?

Women empowerment, to us, means encouraging women to be leaders in their lives. To be in the driver’s seat of your own joy, your own success, your own body, your own voice, your own path.

Young women all over the world want to make a career in the beauty and cosmetics industry. Please give me a couple of tips?

Like any other career, one must first have a natural affinity … were you in front of the mirror as a youngster, loving fashion magazines instead of comic books, at the mall in the boutiques and cosmetics counters, etc? If one has that innate sense, then it may well be for you. It’s a wonderful, competitive and satisfying industry full of energy and people who love what they are doing.

Please explain where you live, the city, food, restaurants, culture and why should we visit?

Southeast Florida is the perfect place to be outside of Manhattan for anyone interested in fashion, beauty, lifestyle, and sunshine. I live in Delray Beach which 50 years ago was a great beach town. Over the years, it has grown to within inches of its boundaries. But fondly enough, over and above some of the other rival historic beach towns in the area, Delray Beach remains a great beach town… It’s remarkable! The shopping district is alive with eclectic shops, restaurants, boutique hotels, art galleries, live entertainment, and casual culture.

The corporate offices are in Boca Raton, a relatively small city with an international reputation for excellence. It has more corporate headquarters than any other city in the state of Florida. And yet, you’re close enough to the beach to have lunch overlooking the surf and get back to the office.

Share with my audience something challenging you have been through. What did you learn and how did you come out on the other side thriving?

Tiv perfume is The Designer Fragrance of the Caribbean. Therefore, we have always had a Caribbean home. We relocated the company from the Bahamas to the U.S. Virgin Islands 20 years ago. However, when we made the decision to make online sales our first priority, we had to move to the mainland to accommodate the demands of high-speed internet capability, shipping, fulfillment and talent. The first challenge was where to relocate. And we couldn’t be more pleased with the decision to move the company to Boca Raton. The infrastructure, vibrant business community and the people make it the perfect move. But two things were happening – relocating and completing changing our direction from retail to online sales and marketing. We still maintain a marketing and promotional presence in St. Thomas, but all major company activity is in Boca Raton.  We learned that the major challenge in such a major move is research.

I am sure you lead a hectic life. How do food, faith, finance, and family come together for you?

You can imagine the answer to this question is, “It’s a challenge.” First, I try to take advantage of the markets that sell fresh vegetables, fruits, and seafood for meals at home. The area is remarkably business-friendly which is a plus for building a financial future both personally and for the company. My family and old friends are scattered but visit often. As for my faith, I wake up every morning with a prayer to acknowledge the blessings of strength, courage, and good health. Life is good.

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Arooba Najaf is your typical millennial.

International Women’s Day is celebrated on March 8 globally to highlight the economic, social, political, and cultural achievements of women. It is a day for a call to action for accelerating women’s equality.

Aruba is an island in the southern Caribbean Sea. Arooba Najaf calls herself a #typicalmillennials. She likes being on the move, jumping between tasks, and looking forward to the future possibilities that will come her way.  Arooba Najaf is a visual entrepreneur, social media influencer, blogger, and motivational speaker. I catch up with her about what inspires her to show the beauty of her work.

Arooba, I love your name. Does it mean something?

My name means Congrats in Arabic.

Please tell my audience something important about you.

Something important about me is that I am very passionate about the arts and helping others.

Walk me through the city you live in, the culture, the food scene, and name three good restaurants?

The city I live in is Matawan, New Jersey. The culture in this small town is very diverse, vibrant, and full of life. The town is represented for its sports. We are a close-knit community. What I love about Matawan is the people and stories within the town. We all come from different backgrounds yet our struggles make us close. In the town of Matawan, the food scene is very diverse. There are so many amazing restaurants to taste as well as discover such as Angelos Pizza, Aby’s Mexican Restaurant, and Amravathi Indian Restaurant.

What does women’s empowerment mean to you?

To, me women empowerment is women having the power to change the world.

In terms of career, what are you doing and what are the future plans?

Right now, I’m a freelancer in the visual content business and a creative entrepreneur. My future plans are honestly uncertain but whatever the future has in store I’m ready for it. Yes, there will be roadblocks and obstacles but life is about taking chances as well as learning.

How has social media impacted your society?

Social media has impacted my society that sometimes what we see isn’t worth it. You have to work hard and hustle. Instagram, for example, shows that you need to travel and be pretty, in reality, it’s an optical illusion.

I have a 15-year-old daughter, what advice would you give her?

To teenagers today, the advice I would give them is to be yourself and don’t get caught up in high school drama. Enjoy, high school but live in the moment, not for the likes but the experience. Because life is full of experiences and memories.

Rapid Fire Questions:

Favorite food:  Chicken Tikka

Favorite dish:   Chicken Biryani

Favorite movie: The Glass Castle

Favorite actor:  Bri Larson

Favorite city:   Los Angeles and San Francisco although I never been

Choose three people you would like to have a meal with. Why? What is one question you would ask them?

The three people I would like to have a meal with would be my grandma, Gary Vee, and Marie Forleo. I would ask them what inspires them to keep going and to motivate others.

If you were chosen to go to Mars. What five things would you take with you?

The five things I would take to Mars would be my camera, photos of my family, tons of food, sunglasses, and Polaroid.

If you had a choice which century would you prefer to live and why?

The century I would love to live in would be the 60s. I love the fashion during that time and the vintage feels from that century. I know I’m a bit old school but I love this century for being bright yet full of colors. I learned a lot about it through the show Mad Men.

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Kylie is a personal trainer, fitness nutritionist specialist, and mother. She is a firm believer in women empowering themselves and to practice intentional living. This intentional living is a blessing that gives you the power to nourish your body and soul and to thrive with self-love, self-worth, and confidence. It will make you radiant in every area of life.

Kylie, tell me something unique and different about you?

I love journaling! I once heard someone say, “Wisdom lies in the questions, not the answers.” It is through journaling that I truly understood how powerful questions are. The prompts in journals always set me off into deep thoughts and reflections, uncovering so many insights and clarity. Journaling has expanded my views and guided me to give thoughts on critical issues and aspects of life that I normally wouldn’t have given much attention to. So, I am constantly on a lookout for good journals!

I love the word empowering and intentional living. Talk to me about how you use it in your practice?

To bring health and nutrition effortlessly into your life, it’s crucial that we look at your life in its entirety rather than just solely nutrition. You are a real person with a career to excel in, family to raise, and passions to pursue. Your life doesn’t revolve just around nutrition. It’s not realistic to focus only on nutrition and neglect other aspects of your life. Merging intentional living with nutrition will allow these two components to sync and flow seamlessly; rather than trying to fit things in haphazardly. Intentional living is integrated through journaling components in the Nutrition Blueprint that my clients will be crafting.

Talking about empowerment, there are many ways to empower oneself. There are also many ways people give up their power unknowingly. In the case of nutrition, some of us change and compromise our lifestyle to adhere to meal plans or diets. We are giving up our rights to live life the way we desire and often end up feeling miserable. Education is one way of empowering yourself to take your power back but there’s a catch.

Knowledge is important but the ability to apply this knowledge safely, effectively and consistently is critical. True empowerment through education is achieved when you combine knowledge with skillsets to implement them. Information alone seldom leads to results. You can buy as many meal plans, fitness plans or courses as you like. If you don’t work on them consistently or if you don’t apply them appropriately, nothing will work.

It’s not my practice to give my clients a meal plan or diet and ask them to “Follow this and don’t deviate.” I equip my clients with essential nutrition knowledge, so they know the reason why they are doing something. They will know the purpose of every step and action plan. It will never be a case of “doing it for the sake of doing” without understanding. I also develop their skillsets to implement nutrition principles so that nutrition flow into their life and is sustainable. These skillsets will also work for other aspects of their life, be it picking up a new hobby or a new habit. Combining knowledge, skills, and clarity, my clients will truly be empowered. They can confidently make adjustments and be flexible about how they integrate nutrition principles into their life.

What kind of a coach are you? I like that you say if someone is looking for a quick fix then you are not the right fit.

I’m a firm believer that it’s not what you do that matters, it’s whether you can do it consistently. No matter how small the action is, if you can do it consistently, you will see results. Most importantly, it will last. Never undermine the power of small, consistent actions. Quick fixes may give you great results, but if it’s not a lifestyle that you can keep up in the long run, the results won’t last. You will go back to where you began and start over again and again. It becomes a vicious cycle that repeats indefinitely. You will be deflated and feel like a total failure even when it’s not exactly your fault. It’s just a fact that quick fixes are not meant to yield long-term sustainable results.

I know life is busy and can be messy, which may be the reason why quick fixes seem so attractive. No matter which stage you are in your health journey, I will meet you where you are. Together we will work with your lifestyle, your schedule, your level of ability, your resources, your environment, your preferences, etc. It’s about integrating things in a harmonious manner rather than forcing nutrition into their life.

Walk me through your struggles with motherhood, what changed and how are you a different person?

I have had several health issues that I needed to deal with postpartum. Juggling motherhood and health issues were tough. I constantly felt guilty when I needed to take some time off for myself. I also felt like a failure when I couldn’t manage the daily responsibilities of taking care of a newborn, housework, etc. I crumbled under the stress. I knew I had to work through those struggles but there was no clear solution.

On a random day when I was observing my child fumbling with her toys and trying to figure out how the toy works, I had a sudden realization. I felt so much joy seeing her explore. Even when she made a mistake, I would still cheer her on. We are so forgiving towards babies who are learning and yet we are so harsh on ourselves when falling short on our own expectations and mistakes. That moment, I knew how I can work things out. That is to act from a place of love.

I stopped picking on my shortcomings. I reminded myself that I am still learning as a first-time mother and patient. I focused on my strengths and what I can do best for my child and my health. I cheered myself on, just like how I cheered my child on. With this approach, my blind spots slowly surfaced. It’s like I’m learning about myself all over again. I’ve re-learned so many values and mind-sets together with my child.

Since then, I see myself as a student of life, always learning and growing. Challenges are lessons that life uses to nurture and teach us. It’s ok to stumble and fall, just like a baby falls while learning to walk. It’s also important to have some form of a self-care routine to help you rest and rejuvenate. It’s only when you are in a great space mentally and physically will you be able to give your 100%. It’s true to say, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.”

We are living fast lives and never slowing down at the expense of our health and nutrition. Give me a more realistic way as to how we can approach this?

In this hectic world, we are constantly multitasking and even operating on auto-pilot mode. It’s no wonder so many of us are burned-out and stopped noticing the little things in life. It may even sound daunting to allocate time for health and nutrition.

Truth is, we don’t need big and extreme actions to improve our health and nutrition.

Remember we discussed small consistent actions earlier on? Here’s how you can approach it:

1. Decide on an area you would like to improve on or a goal you would like to achieve.
2. List down actions that you think will help you in reaching that goal.
3. Pick one action you are confident in implementing successfully.
4. Ask yourself if the action is small enough to be acted on consistently on a daily basis.
   1. If yes, decide how exactly you are going to do it and then do it!
   2. If no, think about how you can break that action down into smaller steps that can be acted on consistently every day.
5. Once you feel comfortable and are able to act on this action consistently, you can repeat the process to select another action.

The key is to make that step small, easy and quick to do. It may be as simple as drinking one extra glass of water every day or doing a 5 minutes’ stretch every morning. As long as you can do it consistently, you are doing great! You can download the cheat sheet here for quick reference.

If I hire you as a coach, can I go to Mcdonalds, have a coke, and eat ice cream?

Yes, you can! In fact, McDonald’s’ is my favorite fast-food chain. I love their Fillet-O-Fish burger, French fries, and Hot Fudge Sundae! Adhering to any particular diet or cutting out any food category is not necessary unless it is due to a medical condition or required by your medical doctor. There’s no “bad” or “good” food. It’s how we eat and how much we eat that matters. In excessive quantity, even beneficial nutrients like Vitamin A can become toxic.

Talk to me about the city you live in. I want to know the food scene and the amazing restaurants and why should we visit?

I’m from the sunny island of Singapore! It’s summer all year round over here. If you love the sun and beach, our island is the perfect travel destination.

Food Centres are where the locals usually go for our daily meals. There’s a wide range of tasty food selection, all at affordable prices. The best part is you can enjoy Michelin Starred food at the Food Centres without breaking the bank! Tian Tian Hainanese Chicken Rice is possibly the most famous chicken rice in Singapore. Its flagship stall is at Maxwell Food Centre. American celebrity chef Anthony Bourdain once commented that the rice from Tian Tian is exceptionally fragrant, flavorsome, and is delicious on its own. There was an exciting “Hawker Heroes Challenge” in 2013 which Gordon Ramsay took part in and lost out to Tian Tian. So be sure to try Tian Tian Hainanese Chicken Rice when you visit Singapore!

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Amina Mohamed is a game-changer. Four Columns is always on the lookout for game-changers who are empowering women. Amina Mohamed is the embodiment of a game-changer. She is passionate about making a difference in the lives of young girls in Uganda. She has taken the tenets of her faith and put them to practical use. She walks the walk. Amina shares a lot of wisdom in this interview. She is real and vulnerable about her own life. I admire her willingness and persistence to make a difference in this world through her charity and volunteer work at Triple F Photo Tours.

A game-changer is a newly introduced element or factor that changes an existing situation in a significant way. It is the Eureka moment when you see something others do not. We experience something significant and rousing, and we want to do something. It is metamorphic alchemy that makes a difference in the lives of people.

A game-changer is relentless, committed, and persistent in a cause. They are original, who see the status quo and bring an out-of-the-box mindset. They break free from traditional thinking, test the patterns of thinking like lemmings, and promote diversity of thought.

A game-changer is introspective, self-aware, and cognizant of the needs and emotions around them. The game-changer knows that what they are doing is bigger than themselves. They get intrinsic satisfaction from making a difference in the lives of other people.

Hi Amina, I love that your name means peace. Tell me something important about you.

I am passionate about helping others.  When I am not working on my work in Uganda, I volunteer in my community with Rotary International or I do community work by supporting the homeless. I strongly believe that if we all do our part to help others, we can all make this a more beautiful world.

Talk to me about your catchy slogan ‘where fun, f(ph)otography & f(ph)ilanthrophy meet?

I wanted a slogan that fit both Triple F Photo Tours (taking enthusiast and amateur photographers on a tour of Uganda and helping them improve their photography while on an excursion, hence the Fun and the F(ph)otography) and the work I do with Cameras For Girls (our F(ph)ilanthropic outreach).

Walk me through your journey and how you came to reconcile your identity?

Reconciling that identity has always been a struggle.  I was born in Merton, UK, moved to Uganda when I was nine months old, and lived in Uganda until I was three when we were forced to leave our home country by Idi Amin.  I grew up with a mixture of Indian and African roots and the feeling that I did not fit in anywhere.  Canada has been home for the last almost 50 years (next November will the 50-year anniversary when we came to Canada) and I am still torn between my Canadian identity and my African roots.  To further explore this, my husband is Danish and my Canadian-born adopted daughter is half-Polish and half-Sudanese.  We refer to ourselves as the United Nations.

I admire that you want to make a difference in the lives of girls and leave a legacy. Help me understand how you came to that point in your life?

I had an amazing career working in film and television and after 15 amazing years working on many films, tv series, documentaries, and short films, I left to do something else.  We were newly married (I married late) and considering adopting and working in this industry is not conducive to a happy marriage, thus I quit.  From there I went on to work in the real estate industry, first as a home stager and then later as an award-winning mortgage broker.  However, the call of the camera and creativity started calling my name and in August 2017, frustrated with my career I came up with the idea to make a difference for young girls and women in Uganda.

On my first trip home to Uganda in 2007, I was there to self-direct and produce a documentary about the return of the Asians that started coming back as then and current President Museveni realized that if Uganda was going to make any type of economic recovery, he would have to welcome home the Indians.  When I got there, the sheer poverty hit me hard and the realization that many girls and women in developing countries are not given the same rights and freedoms I had been given, growing up in Canada.  I wanted to make a difference but at that time I did not know-how.  Fast forward to August 2017 and I came up with this idea and a year later after making a business plan, I was in Uganda conducting my first photography training with 15 young girls and women between the ages of 18-29.  These girls come with a background in journalism.  Unlike North America or Europe, a job in journalism in Uganda does not guarantee a payment or a full-time job, unless you own a camera and know how to use it.  By marrying our program with girls and women who are either in their last year of a University Journalism program, or girls who have graduated and looking for work, or girls who have been hired but not getting paid, simply because they lack the skills, we are able to help them get full-time jobs in a very male-dominated society.  To date, I have taught 32 girls and 11 now have full-time jobs.

What does it mean to be raised with a deep sense of community, culture, and humanity?

It’s important to me because living in Canada in a cultural melting pot and having my own melting pot of a background, I am able to see others and respect others for their traditions, way of dress, language, and practices.  I believe that at the end of the day, regardless of our cultural backgrounds we are all the same and that if we were to all think that way, humanity would be much happier and more peaceful.

The Ismaili diaspora is very successful. There are solidarity and brotherhood among them. In your opinion what leads to that success?

My own grandfather emigrated to Uganda from India when he was 14 years old, as he saw opportunities that were not available to him in India.  Many Indians were brought to Uganda to build the railroad and after completing this, they stayed and raised their families.  My grandfather worked hard and earned enough to bring his mother, his brothers, and their families to Uganda.  Both my paternal and maternal grandfathers were very wealthy and successful in Uganda.  My parents were first-generation born and my sister was 2^nd generation. I myself was born in the UK.  Knowing how hard it was for our grandfathers, who led and paved the way, made Ismaili’s in particular recognize the sacrifices that were made to make a better life in Uganda, and thus hard-work came with that.

Interesting fact – Prime Minister Pierre Elliott Trudeau and The Aga Khan were very good friends and thus when we were exiled from Uganda, it was due to this friendship that there exists many Ismaili’s in Canada.  Other countries that took us in were Austria, Germany, and Uganda.

Define women empowerment and your role in empowering young girls?

We give the girls a camera to keep, teach her how to use it to tell stories that matter to them.  We also assist them to apply for jobs by helping them with resumes, cover letters, and LinkedIn profiles.  By providing the tools, we empower our girls to compete for jobs, otherwise not afforded to them, simply due to gender or inequality that exists in many developing countries.  Our girls go out in the world equipped with the tools to succeed.  The camera stands as the same as teaching a person to fish.

The word is mightier than the sword. One photograph can change the world. Please comment?

100% agree.  Think about the photo that Steve Curry took of the Afghan girl or Nilüfer Demir’s photo of Alan Kurdi, the drowned Syrian boy.  Images can sear your memory and make concrete changes in the world.  Images can convey a thousand words as they say due to the power they have to make concrete and long-lasting changes.

Help me understand your faith, culture, food, and special festivals?

I grew up in a strict Muslim household and would attend prayers every Friday as well as all religious festivities, however, as I got older I became more independent and no longer follow my faith.  I am still Ismaili by birth but not in practice.  I do however enjoy celebrating Eid and cultural festivals through my husband’s background and those of my friends, who come from different faiths.  I believe again that we are all one and in some respects, religion can divide instead of bringing us together.

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Ashley Wray is a Millennial. She is barely 25 years old, got married, divorced, has seen 26 countries, and is starting a business. She is honest, real, vulnerable, and in touch with what is going on in her life. I got together with her over a coffee to talk about love, peace, food, faith, family, finance, travel, spirituality, nature, women empowerment, the future, and about her being a Goddess.

International Women’s Day (IWD) is celebrated on March 8^th every year. It is an important day for women’s rights. On February 28, 1909, the Socialist Party of America organized a Women’s Day in New York City. In 1910 at the International Socialist Woman’s Conference, German delegates Paula Thiede, Kate Duncker, and Clara Zetkin suggested a ‘special Women’s Day’ be organized. In 1917, women gained suffrage in Russia and March 8 became a national holiday. Women’s Day was celebrated only in communist and socialist countries. In 1967, the feminist movement adopted it. In 1977, the United Nations began celebrating it.

Four Columns is all about inspiring and empowering women to live a balanced life. To celebrate Women’s Day, I am interviewing various women, from different backgrounds.

Ashley Wray, you are one of the most real, vulnerable, open people I have met in my life. So, tell me a little about you?

Firstly, I just wanted to thank you for interviewing me and having me on your blog.

I haven’t quite figured out my “life purpose”. I know for sure that part of my purpose is definitely making other people feel validated and loved in this life. I was bullied when I was younger and that helped me realize that I wanted to work in a field where I could positively impact and help people. I love exploring different healing modalities. I’m currently exploring shamanic healing. I find shamanic healing very interesting.  I hope to be able to one day offer this healing to my clients around the world. I love traveling. I’ve traveled to 26 different countries with Guatemala, Mexico City, and Arizona next on my travel agenda. I’m a modern Goddess, feminist, and lover of all living things.

Ashley you are barely 25, have been married for a couple of years and divorced. Walk me through the experience and what did you learn and how did you change because of it?

Jerry, I’ve always thought about writing a book, about how my early days impacted me so strongly and made me the woman I am today. It’s hard to go really into those experiences without writing pages and pages worth but I’ll do my best to really give your readers an idea of who I am today and my story.

I moved to England when I was 19. I was very unhappy and I was wanting to escape a very abusive situation. I had this dream to start fresh and couldn’t think of a perfect place to do it but to move to a country across the world. The thought of being foreign in a foreign place where I knew absolutely no one and no one knew me was the perfect scenario.  This was the first time I had left the abusive situations that I had been in and out of for over 10 years.

It wasn’t until I left Canada, that I felt safe enough to start the self-healing process. Within that healing process, I meet my ex-husband a couple of weeks after moving to England. Looking back, I understand that the attraction to each other was so deep because we were both wounded soldiers.

What I learned most from that situation was the “Law of Attraction” and how real it really is. Like attracts like. He intensified all the wounds inside me, the feelings of not being worthy of love and not being good enough to receive love is what I felt most when I was with him. I continued to pretend that I was fine but I was desperately falling apart on the inside. On the outside, I was posting the most Instagram-worthy photos of us in love. I wasn’t authentic, but it wasn’t because I didn’t want to be but that I was ashamed to express the real me and what was going on in my world.

This was a long lesson that lasted 4 years and I’m so grateful for all it taught me. I learned that the people that we attract are mirrors of what we are needing to experience or lessons we are meant to have in this lifetime. It’s all for a reason and maybe that reason will never be known :). 

What does female empowerment mean to you in the 21st century?

Female empowerment to me means feeling empowered to rise in our own unique ways and support each other and all the woman around the world on their journeys. It is such an important historical time to be a woman. Women all over the world are rising and stepping into their power. It is  F*#^!N$ AMAZING to be a part of and to be a woman in 2019! For so long women have been suppressed and to finally be a part of this generation, to be able to break free of the suppression is amazing. We can stand together knowing that we have each other’s back. I am all for the #metoo movement, #timesup movement, and #freethenipple movement.

You are a big fan of getting in touch with yourself. How did you come to this revelation and how are you helping other people heal?

I’m able to get in touch with myself the most by disconnecting from the world and connecting to the universe. I love planning a 2-day retreat or solo vacations when I’m feeling like I need to realign with myself again. I’ve found that having a strong self-care foundation is really important for me and so I’ve found things that I know bring me instant joy. These things include a special hot chocolate recipe, a walk by the water, a foot massage, writing in my journal, and meditation. I believe that I’m helping others heal by being my most authentic self. I’m working through the feelings of shame and guilt and giving myself permission to be free by being ME. I hope that allows other people to feel like they can be themselves also.

What do you do for work and do you feel fulfilled with what you’re doing?

I work at a clinic in Toronto called Province Apothecary doing intuitive organic facials and I also educate health-conscious brands on the benefits of natural health and skincare. I’m in the middle of creating my business called Moonspace which is a healing space for the modern-day woman. I’ll be offering personalized intuitive readings, energy medicine treatments, and meditation circles. I really want to create a beautiful space where women can be honored and celebrated. My intention is that women will leave the space feeling restored and empowered.

Let’s talk about spirituality. I am a big fan of unconditional love, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, compassion, do good to others, overcome evil with good, charity and forgiveness. Do we have anything in common here? What is your spirituality and is there a place for God in that?

I’m definitely a spiritual person- I believe in the oneness of the universe. I like having an open mind and being open to everyone’s beliefs. I love learning about different religions and creating something that works for me. Sometimes I pray to God, other times Buddha. I chant, I sing, I dance. I consistently live from my heart, a place of love for others and the world. I’m grateful either way for the source that watches over me and listens and responds to all my prayers.

Food nourishes the soul. Is this sentence relatable to you?

Food is my medicine and so is drinking plenty of water. Eating healthy is important to me because its another form of self-care and love. My body feels more alive when I’m eating fresh foods and I have a diet rich in fruit and vegetables. I love cooking and I love getting inspired by cookbooks and travel. I’m not a vegan or vegetarian which I think most people think I would be. I love tuning in to my body and asking my body what it needs. Sometimes my body will tell me it wants a plant-based diet for a week or so and then it will totally switch things up and wants a chicken burger. Someone once asked me if I was a “flexitarian” SURE! If I need a label… call me a flexitarian ;).

I love nature, it is the best gift we have received from our creator. How do you connect with nature?

I feel so connected when I’m in nature. I’m so grateful that we are able to have a connection with nature. I love the warmth and I feel like I come alive the most when I’m in warmer climates because I’m consistently connecting with nature.

I find my relationship harder with nature living in Toronto in the winter because I find it difficult to be outside in the cold. I am totally a tree-hugging hippie lol- I’ve hugged so many trees.

When my ex and I first broke up and I moved back to Toronto in the summer I would go to the lake every single day. I would whisper to the lake, the flowers, the birds, and the trees and tell them my worries. I felt listened to, I felt held and I would always leave feeling lighter and more connected to myself. I can’t explain the healing that started to take place by connecting to these elements but I wanted to give back to nature. I felt like I was receiving such an abundance of healing that I wanted to give back to Mother Earth the way she gave to me so I would bring the birds seeds and I would pick up garbage by the lake.

Nature has healed me in so many ways. I’d love to move somewhere warm one day. I went to Hawaii for vacation a couple of months ago and took surfing lessons WOW! A totally different connection to nature. I’d love to surf every day and be in warm saltwater.

How has meditation helped you in dealing with stuff?

Mediation has become a part of my everyday morning ritual when I first wake up. It’s time that I dedicate myself to breathing and connecting back to myself. Meditation has taught me how to breathe and how important my relationship with my breath is. Our breath is what keeps us alive and we can always use our breath as a compass for how we are feeling. If our breath is very fast, we are probably feeling anxious and if we control our breath, we can help feel less anxious and calmer. Meditation has given me clarity on what I’m wanting to manifest in my life. Quieting my mind and listening to my soul’s sweet whispers. Where will she take me next?

Ashley, at a young age you have seen a lot, done a lot, experienced a lot. What is next?

Thank you, Jerry. I’m not sure exactly what is next. I’d love to continue to fall deeper in love with myself, build an empire, continue to rise with other women, fall deeply in love one day with someone who worships me, travel more of the world, have a home somewhere hot by the beach and feel so much joy and happiness in my life.

The post Ashley Wray: The Love Goddess appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

What is the meaning of life?

I have known Mayple Dorrington since I started my career at Scotia Bank. Mayple was Director, Communications and Change Management at Scotia Bank.  Mayple recently wrote a book called Finding: The Oasis in my Soul. It is a journal, an encouraging journey through the spectrum of real-life experiences of trials and triumphs. As you read her book, you can relate to it. You will see a reflection of your own experiences. The book asks some relevant questions about having an empty void within us, do we have doubts about our gifts, weaknesses,  our purpose, and our identity?

I am a big fan of gratitude, and this book challenges my thinking to transform my mind and to get a deeper conviction of love and purpose in my life. If you are struggling with insecurity, fear, uncertainty, or anxiety, get the book, become empowered, lead an authentic life, and transform yourself into what you are intended to be.  This is the first of a two-part interview.

Mayple, a true honor to have you talk to four columns. Tell my audience a little bit about you?

Jerry, firstly I want to thank you for the opportunity to participate in your blog. I’m deeply honored to be having this dialogue with you and your audience.

Born on the beautiful island of Jamaica I grew up in a happy, loving family cushioned in a viable business environment.   The business became a casualty following the aftermath of the 1970s economic downturn in my country and the outcome later triggered my family’s immigration to another beautiful country, Canada. With a business mindset, I later pursued that area of study and embarked on an amazing career in the financial industry that spanned 3 continents with direct access to over 27 countries.  Alongside my banking occupation of choice, I am an author and a motivational speaker.  My professional designations include an economist, chartered banker, high school teacher and a personal financial planner.

I am a devout Christian who anchored my beliefs, decisions, and hope in the power of the risen Jesus Christ.  With my teaching discipline, I constantly volunteer my skills for mentoring and coaching and by my mentees’ own admission, I have the knack to identify, develop and empower countless persons in reaching their personal goals.

Having said that, my passion is primarily centered around the relationships I forged working with people drawn from across the globe and living in the most multicultural city in the world. Through these experiences, I learned how to coexist with people, understand their behaviors, outlook, and preferences, and dispense greater tolerance, acceptance, and compassion in helping others. An area that keeps me growing is to intentionally embrace the power of mindfulness. This awareness constantly provokes and inspires me to challenge my mind, peel away layers of obscurity, to look deeper and wider for insights toward the path in finding truths.

Finding: The oasis in my soul. It is an intense name for a book. How did the book come about? What is the main message? Who is the audience? What is unique and different about the message?  

Jerry, there’s lots to unpack here… yes,  the name is indeed intense. You may notice I deliberately said “Finding” and not “Find” or “Found” because it’s a journey, not a destination. My book chronicles an inspiring journey through the lens of my real-life experiences of trials and triumphs and using what I have been through to come to a place of what I now know for sure.

Strangely the genesis of my book was drawn from my wanderlust nature.  Traveling to many countries, living amongst diverse nationalities, and conversing with numerous people from different walks of life, age, and outlook; hearing their stories, the many dreams realized, the hardships overcame, and bouncing back from mistakes, I realized how much we all have in common.

I wrote the book to expose our human commonality and to express how I cultivate the power to confront and stare down the debilitating state of uncertainty, worry, and fear.  How like myself, we can overcome our shortcomings and elevate our talents and self-worth to be the best.

During my speaking engagements, after sharing my story, which is often intertwined with slices from the lives of many others, seeing the visceral reaction of agreement from my diverse audience, I validated how we all want to feel valued, loved, and accepted. The main point is to have a positive self-image of not who I am, but who God intended me to be.  How I claim truth and confidence from the backdrop of biblical examples of trust, faith, and obedience.  Each chapter illustrates a meaningful life experience, which is brutally frank about what I learned, the impact of the practical application, and my spiritual transformation. Each reader will walk away with valuable nuggets to build their confidence and self-worth.

My core objective and the key message are to challenge the readers’ thinking and arouse a sense of gratitude, wonder, and introspection, allowing us to draw from an ever-renewing Oasis where we can replace worry, fear, and doubt with the joyful assurance of God’s promises and faithfulness.

The feedback has been overwhelmingly positive that this is exactly the response it evokes. I painted a graphic picture of my experiences, whether illness, a hero to zero career moves, friendship betrayal, family choices, to be transformed, to come to a place of rest, not a place of stop, but resting on the dependence and assurance of God’s love while seeking new adventures to spread my wings.  The overarching message may not be unique or different, but it’s worth reinforcing to keep us building self-awareness on how we can draw inspiration and hope from seemingly common encounters and events in our lives. It about seeing and acknowledging God’s love and handiwork in all aspects of our lives.

Explain to me what does women’s empowerment means to you?    

Empowerment is about acting on my own volition, having options, having the autonomy to make choices.  Really, Jerry, it’s to emancipate me from the sense of powerlessness, to become self-determined, being able to take charge of my life by owning my decisions, circumstances, hopes, and dreams, growing stronger, wiser, and more confident.

Having said that, for me, I do not believe women’s empowerment is independent of the influence of men. I strongly believe men and women were created with different, but complementary traits. When working in unity, we unleash the freedom to both look outward, naturally curious in opening ourselves to the universe, feeling supported to take risks, and to reimagine possibilities based on the imagery of how to think, rather than the limitation of what to think.

I have countless examples of gender neutrality during brainstorming, problem-solving, and trouble-shooting that delivered the optimum results, mainly because women are allowed the latitude, civility, and respect to explore and articulate their thoughts without judgment or fear. This type of liberation allows me to embrace and benefit from a diversity of thoughts; to see ideas from various points of view, despite differences reaching common ground, by filtering everything through what is pleasing to God. Why, because like all good things, true and authentic empowerment comes from honoring the will of God.

I am a big fan of being authentic and leading a transparent life. Help me understand what you mean by living an authentic life?    

Yes, Jerry, authentic and transparent are two buzz words presently tossed around a lot! Irrespective of the scholarly definition, at the core, this is about living one’s truth, what we know for sure, which can be shaped by our many experiences.

For me, it is when my values and beliefs are compatible with the integrity of my doctrine, actions, and words. It’s about self-awareness, knowing myself at a deep level, accepting my multi-faceted traits, my strengths, and imperfections; having the desire to continuously grow as I reconcile my good, bad and ugly qualities, which are common to all of us. I find that oftentimes, with increasing societal pressure, we lean into what the world prescribed as a success.  Whether to gain wealth, fame, alter our appearance or job aspiration, we can compromise who we are created to be which often leads to self-loathing, and unhappiness.

To justify my point, let’s take a look at the billions in revenue generated from cosmetic industries, fake content, scamming, Ponzi schemes, and the like. You see, in our humanness, our hearts are deceitful, full of pride, and can easily trap us in a state of denial and falseness to elevate ourselves. I am not immune to this pretense, but growing in spiritual maturity and wisdom, I try to be deliberate in not allowing this malignant state to frighten or paralyze me, but to be powered by my dependence on the spirit God graciously places within us.  As I summon the courage to live from a place of acceptance, growth, humility, and inner peace, only then, I can be the best expression of myself, which will be evident to impact others as I attract, influence, and sustain meaningful relationships.

The post Mayple Dorrington: Finding the Meaning of Life appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

February is Black History Month.

I talk to Zenovia Shaw, a game-changer in society with her love for her family, her people, and her country.

Zenovia, welcome to my series on Women With Wisdom. Please tell my audience something about you.

My name is Zenovia V. Shaw. I am a 56-year old woman who is passionate about life, family, and purpose. I live in Pickering, Ontario, and I have been married for 31 years. I am a mother and a grandmother.  I became a Christian 27 years ago and have not looked back.
I am self-employed as an esthetician. I love people, travel, gardening, and hosting gatherings…I am what you call a total extrovert!

Why is black history month important?

I believe history is history (from all backgrounds/nationalities) and should be integrated throughout the whole year and taught to everyone; however, I am grateful for the opportunity to have February as black history month.  There has been so much given to the world by black men and women, and their stories are not widely known by the majority of the population.  Great contributions, inventions, and examples of upstanding citizens.  Things I was never taught as a youth to help develop that great sense of pride in my heritage.  So much of what I saw and heard in society or in the media about black people was portrayed in a negative way.  Black history month provides an ‘open door’ for everyone to walk through to educate themselves in hopes of refreshing their views.

Let’s discuss marriage! Give my audience some advice on marriage, what to look for, the challenges, how to stick through the thick and thin?

Marriage is not to be entered into lightly!  Take more time to focus on the marriage than the wedding.  For the wedding, which lasts for a day, every detail is planned and rehearsed, but too often the preparation for the marriage, which is supposed to last a lifetime, does not get the same level of attention.

Focus on what commitment looks like for a healthy relationship.  Have fun together, laugh, serve God and others together.  It is absolutely fine to say “I’m sorry” and “please forgive me”.  In the marriage relationship, mutual respect, trust, and consideration are paramount.  When disagreements occur, fight ‘clean and fair’.  Once words are spoken, they cannot be unspoken…words do hurt!  Another boundary to never cross is physical harm.

Once children enter the equation, the relationship changes as you focus less on each other and take on the responsibility to raise the children.  For us, life threw some curveballs our way, such as financial or health challenges, to test our mettle.  These challenges have all happened in our marriage.  My kidneys failed two years into our marriage.   Having gone through the stages of dialysis and organ transplantation 18 years ago, I am still going strong with the support of my husband, family, and friends.  It is only for the glory of God.  We as a family hung on to God’s word, prayer, promises, love, grace, and purpose.

We agreed as a couple that there will be no back doors in our marriage if we hold on to these principles.

How has motherhood and becoming a grandmother changed you? What were some of the challenges and what did you learn?

What a great responsibility!  I totally enjoyed every moment of raising our daughter and son, even though our daughter did not sleep through the night for the first 13 months of her life!  It was very exhausting, and I am still trying to catch up on sleep 30 years later.  However, with every stage of their lives (the joys, cuts, bruised knees, colds, chickenpox, hormones, mess-ups, victories, great achievements) I’ve learned to enjoy every minute and still continue to do so.  I understood that God entrusted them to me to enjoy and to teach and train them to know Him.

Now being a grandmother, the emotions of love, adoration, are heightened.   There are no words to describe what I feel for my grandchildren.  All I know is I want them to know how much I love them, how much God loves them and desires them to have a life to the full.

Please give yourself advice when you were 14, 24, and 34 yrs old?

Age 14

Focus on school more and not be concerned about other people’s opinions of you.  Don’t even think about boys!

Age 24

Ask my parents more questions about their lives and experiences.  Tell them I love them more.  Find more meaningful ways to express my love for them.

Give that real estate course another chance.

This is a good time to begin saving for retirement.

High five on choosing to date the man I am now married best friends with for 33 years.

Age 34

No one ever plans to suffer illness in life, but these things do happen.  Face your challenge head-on knowing it is happening for a reason and your experience will not be wasted.  You will be able to help others who will go through the same challenges.

I know faith is very important to you. Walk me through your own journey and what you are learning about it?

I believe full well that God put eternity on the hearts of man.  Realizing at an early age that the void that I felt in my life was not being filled with…the job, money, things, seeking love and acceptance from man, starting my own family unit.  I somehow knew God had to play a part in the true purpose of being.

I, therefore, embarked on my journey to find a deeper meaning for my existence.  I tried church hopping, to see which denomination was a fit.  I became envious of those who had a deep love for God.   I couldn’t understand why I didn’t (or couldn’t) develop that type of relationship.

Social media has given some of the shy types a voice and a presence to express themselves.  It has given those who like to encourage others a platform to reach as many as possible with words of inspiration, pictures of the world around us, greetings, etc. On the dark side, it has been used to hurt and diminish others.

To become a part of a community, I think the key is to become more outward.  Seek to make a difference in some small way.  Focus on giving more than taking.  Beware of the ‘what’s in it for me’ mentality.  I’ve found that these principles bring true joy and happiness.

Volunteering is a great way to become part of a community.

1. Serve your neighbors (help with snow removal, mow lawns, rake leaves) especially if they are elderly, widows, or special needs.
2. Visit seniors in nursing homes or retirement homes where loneliness is a real issue
3. Coach a team
4. Teach life skills at a local community center

Rapid-fire…

Favorite restaurant….Benihana Japanese restaurant

Favorite meal…stew chicken, baked macaroni and cheese, rice, salad

Favorite movie…Pride and Prejudice (with Colin Firth)

Famous person to have a meal with…President Obama

What would I ask:

Moses:  How were you feeling emotionally/physically that brought you to the point of disobedience when you struck the rock when you were directed to speak to it?

Jonah:  Why were you hesitant to go to Nineveh?

Paul:  When you were struck with blindness on the road to Damascus, what were your thoughts and fears?

Mary:  As you watched your son as a toddler, what was one thing he said or did that you stored up in your heart?

Sarah:  How did you feel when you were presented as a sister and not a wife by Abram?

The post Zenovia Shaw: The Definition of Wisdom appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

Meet Captain Vivek Bhasin. I love his style of writing, eclectic style of dress, Mick Jagger’ joie de vivre, and fathomless, ardent love for his alma mater. We both went to a British boarding school, both of us were Lefroyans, he settles in Sweden, I in Canada, his wife is Swedish, mine is Scottish.

I thought I had seen 30 countries and that was a great achievement. Vivek has seen 110. This interview does not do justice to all his achievements. He has been mistaken for the Indian ambassador to the UK, to being mistaken for a vagabond by the New York cops.  As he leaves the corporate world as managing director of Dole Foods, I wanted to get his perspective on life.

We talk about many things but focus on women empowerment and how women have shaped our lives. Get ready for an international fondue of words, experience from someone who is larger than life.

Vivek, I am a big fan of your writing. Welcome, and please tell me something important about you?

Jerry, I super appreciate your wonderful support in my writing; a passion I developed in school, and took it forward in my journey through life.

I was at BCS Simla from the age of five. All this happened 59 years ago, but today when I look back at my life, I can never thank my parents enough. They did the right thing. I learned to fend for my self and became a survivor. I became a person with an open mind and like a sponge absorbed countries’ cultures and befriended people; an advanced education.

Perhaps in a selfish way, I would like to return to the age of five but with all my knowledge, my experience intact to try to straighten certain bends and hoops and come down the slopes with a greater appreciation of my family and thank the few friends I made .. appreciating their closeness, not just pushing forward with no real destination.

Give me some examples of how women have played an important role in your life?

Women are the essence and driving force behind men’s existentialism in this world. Emotions, love, tolerance, determination and immense strength come from women. The world is truly beautiful because of women … my mother taught me so much in the first five years of my life. It is a pure fact that women have higher IQs than men … Einstein, Beethoven, Mozart, and Shakespeare were all geniuses but if you look closely there surely were women, their mothers, wives, sisters who held them upright and never sought credence nor publicity.

My Swedish wife made me understand how important it is for women to be independent and stand on their own feet.

Swedish women play a very important role outside their domestic den and are the forerunners with clean honest road maps to make their country the best place to live. Sweden is always ranked right up in all good statistics due to their incredible woman.

Women have no egos like us men, they make larger than life sacrifices, and in today’s modern world have exalted positions of the highest order in commerce, industry, and governance.

I salute the women of the world today, tomorrow… Siempre (always).

Talk to me about the highs of being in a boarding school. What are some major keyways you learned and how you implemented it in real life?

The only school I know is my Bishop Cotton School, sitting on a spur on the mighty Himalaya founded by Bishop Cotton in 1859 on instructions by Queen Victoria; a school whose objective was an all-around upbringing of the young gentleman in academics, sports, soft skills, and etiquette. I entered that amazing institution which is affiliated to Marlborough College and Rugby School England in 1961 and passed out in 1970. It was in that school I learned the art of survival, respect, and picked up the finest traditions of a scholar and a gentleman. What was immensely evident was our School Chapel where we, from all walks of life, all strains of religion, be us Hindus, Sikhs, Buddhists, Jains, Catholic, and Protestants sought the strength of God in one voice, in harmony. I am a Hindu Punjabi but my temple is the Holy Trinity Chapel of my Bishop Cotton School. My mother asks me how many times have I been to a Hindu temple; my response is factual “Mum I have been to my Chapel 4000 times at BCS”… that for her is more than enough.

I learned the meaning of brotherhood, of blood bonding, teamwork and the building of an identity that has been my strength out in the big jungle of an unforgiving world. 

How has marriage changed you? What has surprised you the most about it?

My wife is Swedish; we have been married soon for 37 years … it’s not been a bed of roses as such extreme cultures do clash but in this matrimony, we were blessed with a beautiful super-intelligent daughter and a fantastic son … the Indian – Swedish combine has given my children the best of both our worlds. I am happy they live their lives in Scandinavia but stay connected with their Father’s roots which are Indian.

As a young bachelor “I saw the world and got paid for it”… with marriage I soon realized the give and take which one has to do… it is so important to work as a team … the true test is getting to know your partner and this takes a long time … the compatibility and more.

At least in India the debate on arranged marriages by families or finding a partner with no influence from families continues… at least in the big cities the youth of India are getting more liberated; live-in relationships are increasing, however, the tolerance level in a relationship is getting lower… meaning that the relationship is ending due to less give and take.

Fatherhood is an amazing experience. Help me understand your own experience and what advice can you give us?

To become a Father is a miracle; be it your biological child or a child you adopt.. you wish your children to be secure, safe, happy with enriching healthy lives. I do admit I always worry about my children (and now my wonderful grandchildren) but I strongly believe in the goodness of people and hence after giving my children the best possible education by way of travel, daily experiences, examples, and inroads into good universities I know they will contribute positively to our world.

I definitely believe in giving children roots but also wings.

The 21st century has been the defining moment for women empowerment. What does the word mean to you and do you implement it in your life?

In the world of my life, my travel, and constant experiences in the 21st century is surely the time for women to come forward, break the chains of male chauvinism and become truly independent. Men are babies from cradle to grave and need to multi-task like women … for me, my contribution is to a charity in India “Salaam Baalak Trust” where young destitute children are given a haven. The trust looks after 1000’s of young girls and seeks finance through theatre, philanthropists, and more.

In addition, in Gurgaon Haryana I have allocated a part of my yearly earnings for the upkeep of my domestic help and the family; improving sanitary conditions, donating freshwater RO filters, white goods, furniture, and paying for closed toilets. I even fight for their rights …however it is important to set goals and objectives too for those you help so they understand this is not a free ride .. as I know and I preach to them among others, “money doesn’t grow on trees”.

Overcome Evil With Good. How can we as men protect against the evil that is done to women in our society?

The old panchayat system is still prevalent in villages in India.. when I talk about a village I don’t mean a remote village out of touch with civilization in the Indian hinterland… I talk of small pockets a mere stone throw from the modern city of Delhi …some of these villages could be just beyond a wall or across the road …it is here the village elders sit as echelons in their domain with archaic wisdom (that should be erased permanently but only kept in historical archives ). They “act” as “ do good’ ers” with no one to question them … the villagers especially women are at the mercy of these old men who are never questioned. I strongly believe with age comes knowledge … but knowledge comes with education … in many many cases just because you’re old doesn’t make you wise to pass judgment on others … and that too favoring men.. the empowerment of women needs to be whole, complete and this can only happen if society breaks the chains of this evil system … further, I believe the youth of India both the educated and others need to be taught by examples … wherein a village IF a father physically abuses his wife, the children look on… and very soon the boys, mainly the boys start behaving /doing the same to girls around them. Some boys start screaming at their Mothers; I have seen this!!

Is this a traditional way of passing judgment on innocent people by elders who are probably illiterate themselves..All religions are good, pious, and loving but it’s people and sometimes charlatans who become great orators within a limited scope and confuse and baffle the innocent with deadly fear …

It is important to educate and educate so that we can cleanse both the no good’ ers and convince the innocents to get freedom from the tentacles of the wicked, the selfish, and the “advantage” takers …

I was born with an education that instilled in me, goodness, charitable traits and made me understood … it is important not to be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Give yourself some advice at 15, 25, 35, and 45 years of age?

At my age I am aware that today’s teenager, youth, yuppy and the mid-range 40’s are more into materialism than ever before ..they want it sooner, faster and some even wish to retire by 50! It is the “good life “ they talk and dream about …” many of course too look at the environmental destruction of the ’80s and ’90s and are protesting at global warming which is inevitably happening.. this is a good sign too as many in my age took advantage of the world’s natural resources in an irresponsible manner …

What I wish to tell the millennials and the Y Generation is to pick up the good things of the X Generation ( My Generation ) but S L O W down, please. Enjoy every moment with love, laughter, and abandon… but live responsibly… read more … let not Facebook consume you … you need to live longer, healthier and keep our planet spinning smoothly…

L I V E   L I F E… K I N G S I Z E .. but find time to

meditate,

contemplate

and reflect…

search for that inner peace … this is paramount…

yesterday never returns …

today is a present

tomorrow may never happen …

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