The journey of Amanda Buchanan is anything but ordinary. The oldest of 7 siblings, she just thought it was “normal” to take responsibility and take charge. It wasn’t until later in life that she realized her “bossiness” was actually a manifestation of her leadership & executive management skills, which had been evident at a young age. It was only in her late twenties that someone used the word “leader” in relation to her influence and skills, and since that time, she has not only leaned into her own leadership but also championed other women to do so as well. Her work experience and personal story became the catalyst for a decade-long partnership with coaching. This journey not only reshaped her career but also strengthened her identity, values, and voice as a woman navigating male-dominated spaces.

At Four Columns of a Balanced Life, we believe every woman carries a story worth learning from. One that can spark transformation, courage, and clarity for others. Today, we dive into the heart of Amanda’s journey as a life coach and leader.

In this conversation, I wanted to know something unique about her—what shaped her, what ignited her passion, and what continues to fuel her mission to guide women and leaders toward authenticity, awareness, and wholeness. Amanda brings a blend of spiritual wisdom, clinical insight, and real-world leadership experience that makes her coaching style deeply human and refreshingly practical.

Her story is a reminder that empowerment doesn’t begin when we “have it all together,” but when we’re willing to grow, ask better questions, and lead from who we truly are.

What inspired you to become a life coach, and was there a defining moment that led you down this path?

In my late 20s, I found myself in a leadership position where I was way over my head. Not only did I need to learn new skills, but I was working way too much. I was so desperate for help that when someone offered to connect me with a coach, I said yes, not even fully understanding what coaching was. I just knew counselling wasn’t what I needed. I have had a coach for the last decade and never looked back! The journey was transformative, not only for my leadership and my life, but for my career trajectory.

Amanda can you be more specific about the changes you saw back then?

There was a huge learning curve in self-awareness [think Myers-Briggs, personal values, strengths, spiritual gifts, motivations; to name a few] and how this impacted my leadership. I learned to adapt and consider what other people needed and expected from me, and lean into how I was wired to lead from a place that was authentic to me. I started to understand that work could not consume me, but I was actually a better leader when I was living a life that was fuller, by developing creative outlets, physical care and a supportive social system. I fully believe that the best gift a leader can give their organization is holistic health. I could keep going, but I’ll stop there. 

What is the difference between coaching, counselling and consulting? 

At a basic level: counselling looks at the past and coaching looks ahead to the future. Counselling might ask: where did you come from? And what happened to you to shape who you are today? Coaching will ask: where do you want to be in a year, or three years and how do you get there? Or who do you want to be in a particular situation? Both counselling and consulting place the expectation of expertise on the consultant or counsellor. Good coaching makes the one being coached the expert, and with wise questions and observations helps the coachee discover things about themselves.

How has your own personal growth journey shaped the way you coach others?

I am a female who worked in a male-dominated field and I had to push through a lot of obstacles and stereotypes about what was “appropriate” for a woman to do, as well as what was considered “feminine” or not. For example: the fact that many times for women confidence and assertiveness often times is mistaken for aggression or even said to be “masculine.” Or the shame many women feel when their emotions emerge in a work-place setting, when in reality their emotions can be a gift to their colleagues if they have done the work of self-awareness and staying healthy. I am particularly passionate about helping people learn to bring their full-selves to the teams they are on and to lead from their strengths.

How would you describe your coaching style, and what makes it unique?

I’ve been told that people experience me as if we are having a very natural conversation with a lot of good questions to draw out some reflection and discovery. When appropriate I will ask if I can share my own experience with something that may help the client or offer a different perspective on a situation. I believe that every human being is put on this earth with something unique to offer the world and coaching is the process to bring clarity and focus to that discovery. Because of this, I also consider spiritual wellness an important aspect of health and wellness. My training in psychotherapy also helps to inform how things from our past influence our perspective. 

There are many life coaches out there, but I get such energy from working with leaders (which can be formal or informal leadership, influence and management…and yes…mom’s out there are leading their kids every day, so that counts too!) and helping them to discover their unique leadership style and develop needed skills. This tends to also spill out into other areas of their life, as who a leader is affects how their organizations grow and develops. 

What is the most common obstacle your clients face, and how do you help them overcome it?

I’m going to address this from two perspectives: internal factors and external factors. 

Internal factors are often times around limiting beliefs or internal narratives: confidence/imposter syndrome and the stories we tell ourselves that make us feel inadequate or unqualified. For women particularly there are often times narratives they have absorbed subconsciously that manifest due to their work challenges. Through coaching we identify these and work to process and replace them with empowering narratives that are authentic to who they feel that they are. 

External factors can include transitions in work or life, such as a promotion or a job that has grown to include more than a person feels qualified for. In these situations, we create a growth plan and identify areas and resources for development and implementation.

Can you share a success story where your coaching made a significant impact on someone’s life?

A success story for me is watching a client have an “ah-ha” moment in a session or pieces or themselves “click into place” and they leave a session with new insights and actions to work through.

A client success story? One client came to me with a lot of confusion about her role in the organization and a lack of clarity about how to prioritize her time. After six months of monthly one-on-one coaching, we celebrated together how much more confident she felt in her role and in her leadership. She reflected that she had a renewed sense of excitement for the changes ahead in her organization and how she would navigate those with her team and influence her peers and boss. She was grateful for the clarity she had about her role and also about what wasn’t her role [which is just as important] and how to have conversations that would shape the culture and changes going forward.  

What advice would you give to someone who is feeling stuck or unfulfilled in their life or leadership?

It happens to most of us: at some point we will likely hit a wall of some kind where what we know or how we did things, is no longer working for us. This is the season that reaching out for help is one of the best things you can do for yourself and the people around you! This is where finding a coach instead of a counsellor is going to make the biggest difference. Hear me: I love counselling, and even trained to be one, and it has its’ place. But stuck-ness in the present moment is going to need a coaching approach, not a counselling approach: one that helps you shift your thinking out of your past/present into present/future possibilities. ASK yourself to answer these two questions on a scale of 1-10: how much do you want your life to be different in a year and how willing are you to change it? If the answer is AN 8…you are probably READY for a coach!

How can someone identify if they truly need a life coach, and what should they look for when choosing one?

I think coaching (life or leadership coaching) is most effective when someone is ready for things to be different and ready to do the work to make it different. Maybe a person is feeling stuck, or maybe they are simply just feeling like things are the same and they want things to be different in a year. Either way, coaching is helpful as a thought-process through wise and intentional questions to allow time for thinking and reflection, leading to insights and action. I think many people live life like it is happening to them, when in reality, you can choose where you focus and who you become. We have plans for our finances and our retirement, why do we not have plans for the type of people we want to be, or who we want to be as a leader or manager? 

If I was looking for a coach, I’d definitely look for someone you think you can trust and be fully open with – where there is some chemistry. I would also probably tend to encourage people to work with someone who may have experience in areas they wish to grow, but this isn’t a hard and fast rule. That’s why most coaches offer a 15-minute free discovery call to explore questions and chemistry.

What daily habits or mindset shifts do you recommend for personal growth and resilience?

Curiosity is the biggest mindset shift, I think especially for women. We tend to make value judgements on everything, even ourselves (I’m thinking here those statements: “I am too much,” or “not enough”). When I shift from judging…to being curious about what is happening inside and outside, it makes me willing to explore where those thoughts come from or interact with someone different from me, rather than be intimidated or to be hard on myself. 

Finding time to give attention to what is going on inside of you is a really important: for some this might be quiet time in the morning or evening, for others this could be walking without listening to a podcast. You need to pay attention to the affect your life is having on you or you wake up one day wondering how you “got here” or (in worst cases) can’t get out of bed because your life has become too much. As a person of faith, I think reminding myself daily that I am valuable and loved because of who I am and not what I do for others is critical. 

How do you balance your professional life as a coach with your personal life?

This may be a controversial statement but I think that balance is a bit of an illusion and has become a burden because it feels like it creates polarities (you either have balance or you don’t). For me, the question is more about living integrated or living from wholeness. For example, when I am in a season of high demand (stress or busyness) often times my time and desire for my normal workout routine would diminish. But instead of giving it up completely, I make it my goal to do something active with less intensity (or less time). Sometimes that means I schedule a “walking meeting” with a client or I would do 25 minutes of exercise rather than the hour because I refused to let what was important to me be taken away completely. I still try to live into all the parts of myself all the time, but the intensity shifts with the season. It is not so much balanced living as living-whole; with every part of my life activated.

What role does self-care play in achieving life goals, and what practices do you personally follow?

Ruth Haley Barton says that the best gift we offer to others is our transformed self, which means our entire self needs attention. We are constantly being and becoming and every season demands different types of growth and/or rest. Personally, I have something called “rule of life”; if you imagine that every season of your life requires different fruit/strengths from you, then you need to decide how you are going to grow and nurture your roots. What inputs do you need for this next season? What rhythms?  What disciplines? This can include everything from spiritual practices (prayer and meditation), physical exercise, creativity & play and social events. 

If you could give one piece of empowering advice to your younger self, what would it be? 

Don’t be so hard on yourself, you are actually doing really great!

The post Amanda Buchanan: Living & leading with Clarity, Confidence & Compassion appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

Praneet Kaur is a successful recruitment consultant who talks about leaving an abusive marriage and building a life for herself. I admire her for her tenacity, her will, fortitude to rise and create a successful career. Praneet Kaur shows us that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Her story is about overcoming and facing challenges.

If you find yourself in an abusive marriage or relationship you must prioritize your safety and well-being. If you’re in immediate danger, call emergency services or your local domestic violence hotline. Have a safety plan in place. Identify safe spaces in your home and develop an exit strategy. Confide in someone you trust – a friend, family member, or coworker. Share your experiences to build a support network. Contact a local domestic violence hotline or organization. They can provide guidance, resources, and support. Consult with a therapist or counselor who specializes in domestic abuse. They can help you process your emotions, explore options, and develop coping strategies. Consider seeking legal advice to understand your rights and options, especially if you are considering divorce or separation. Keep records of incidents, including dates, times, and descriptions of abusive behavior. Document injuries with photographs and seek medical attention if needed. If possible, work towards financial independence or secure access to funds. Open a separate bank account and ensure you have access to important financial documents. Plan for a safe exit if you decide to leave. This may involve seeking temporary shelter or staying with a friend or family member. Pack a bag with essential items, including important documents, medication, and personal items. Investigate legal protections available, such as obtaining a restraining order or order of protection. Educate yourself about domestic violence laws in your area. Understanding your rights can empower you to make informed decisions. Stay in touch with friends and family, and let them know about your situation. They can be a crucial support system. Prioritize self-care and emotional well-being. Seek activities that bring you joy and provide a healthy outlet for stress.

I sit down and have a chat with Praneet about her journey. I have learned a lot about overcoming challenges from Praneet Kaur.

Praneet Kaur, It was a pleasure to connect with you a while back. Welcome to my blog and let’s start by you telling my audience something about you.

Jerry, thank you for allowing me to share my experiences and thoughts. Thank you for thinking of me!

I am single and a proud mother to a beautiful 3-year-old girl. She is at the center of everything I do and is my strength in everything thick and thin. I am a recruiter by profession and in my free time, I love to indulge in different forms of art such as painting, dancing, and embroidery. I am a foodie and a believer in superheroes, magic, and fairy tales.

Walk me through the life experience that has helped shape your present.

I am from India and come from a simple family. I moved to Canada a decade ago to pursue my MBA. After graduation and a few years of work, I moved back to India to spend time with my family. During my time in India, through a close relative’s suggestion, I got married within a short time. My husband worked in the US and after marriage, I moved to the US on a dependent visa. Like most people, I wasn’t ready for the unexpected sequence of events, let alone figuring out how to deal with it. The trauma and anxiety I endured influenced my outlook towards life to a great extent but it only made me stronger and more determined.

Three years ago, during the early hours of March 5th, I held my two-week-old daughter in my arms as cops walked around in my house. They had my husband in custody and were cross-examining me, my mother, and my mother-in-law. The previous night, you must know that I was a victim of another incident of domestic violence. This wasn’t the first time I was abused, as it occurred at regular intervals since my marriage in 2015. I had hoped things would change after the birth of our child. Talk about living in hope only to see it shattered time and again! I picked myself up each time life threw me down, hoping that a new day would bring a new ray of hope.

After the cross-examination and answering a series of uncomfortable questions, I looked around to see the four walls of the place that I once called home, quickly disappear. The police suggested I find another place to keep me and my baby safe. There I was then, staring into the jaws of a never-ending living hell with no job, a broken marriage, a baby without a father, and no place to go to. A relative of mine who I wasn’t very close to came to my rescue. They took me under their wings and I lived with them for a month before moving to Canada.

It’s been a little over three years since that day and I am thankful to my family, relatives, and close friends who stood by me. Although divorced, I am now free, independent, and enjoy life to the fullest. And so does my daughter. I work for an amazing organization, and have great colleagues, and I continue to invest in my professional and personal development by studying part-time, learning salsa, and just appreciating each day as it comes. It’s been a humbling experience and it keeps me grounded in life. I chose to look at the tumultuous experiences as a stepping stone to achieving better outcomes in life.

Motherhood is huge. Praneet Kaur, help me understand how motherhood has impacted your life.

Motherhood has been a wonderful journey and the most gratifying experience. It is often inexplicable as it takes you through a mix of emotions. My daughter, undoubtedly, is the apple of my eye. She inspires me to work harder and be happier. From the ultrasound trips to her stretching and from her incessant hiccups in my womb to the first time I held her, this kid has helped me be strong and confident. There’s hardly a hurdle I can’t overcome with my daughter by my side. She completes me in all aspects!

I resonate with the adage, “Birth takes a woman’s deepest fears about herself and shows her that she is stronger than them.” I wish to make everything beautiful and happy for her and give her the life any kid deserves. She gives me the strength to fight the rigmarole of life and I find it easier to find inner peace in her company when things go awry. Motherhood has taught me to be patient and resilient. We laugh and cry together like there’s no tomorrow. While she takes her tiny steps each day, she’s helped me to make my tiny steps towards a better and more peaceful life.

What does female empowerment mean to you as a modern-day woman?

Female empowerment is the ability to make life-determining decisions through different problems in society. My experiences more than anything else have helped me understand this in its truest sense. Today, I stand strong, confident, and independent. I’ve taken charge of my life and I am proud as it gives me the power and the ability to instill the same qualities and capabilities in my daughter. In simple terms, female empowerment is giving women the right to live life just as men do. It means to create a society, where women have the opportunity and resources to live life with a sense of dignity and self-worth and with equal access to resources, rights, and status.

Female empowerment is not something you give but rather something you share with women without any conditions or restrictions. It’s not about what women can do, or what we decide they can wear and whom they choose to be friends with; decided often by other people in certain cultures. It’s about how we enable them to choose their journey that reflects their preferences and individuality. Reflecting on my own experiences, female empowerment starts at home and extends into the broader society.

Talk to me about your passion for recruitment.

I know what it is to incur huge debts with no sight of a job on the horizon. It can erode your confidence and make you question your abilities. I recall how this one person, who coincidentally happened to be my junior in college, helped me find my first job. We had never met but I give credit to his relentless efforts in coaching me and helping me prepare for the interview, which eventually helped me amazingly secure my first job. The ability to connect people with their dream job ignites my passion and purpose in life. If I can’t find them a dream job today, I endeavor to keep in touch or act as a coach and talk them through a gloomy day. All it takes are words of encouragement and that’s all that some people might need to not give up.

It gives me immense pleasure when I am successful in assisting new immigrants and graduates to get back on their feet in a fiercely competitive and sometimes brutal economy. I love recruitment for the intrinsic satisfaction it provides especially when I see people do well in the jobs I have placed them in. And, frankly, they return the favor with countless blessings and good wishes – you can never have enough of that!

How can immigrants become successful in Toronto like Praneet Kaur?

To new immigrants, I have 3 pieces of advice:

1. Network – Connect with as many professionals as you can over LinkedIn or any other way that you are comfortable with. Connect for suggestions and ideas – not for a job to start with. They might not become your employers but could connect you with someone who might become your future employer.
2. Integrate – Adapt the diverse Canadian culture and explore the various bridging programs. In class, education is the best way to meet people in the industry. Volunteering for different programs not only allows you to network but also allows you to give back to society.
3. Patience – Know that the pain is temporary and don’t give up, if you don’t believe in yourself, then no one else will. Finding a job is a job in itself. It takes time, a lot of work, and some amount of luck! Never say never and don’t lose hope. You will see light at the end of the tunnel.

How is food, faith, finance, and family important to you, and how do you find balance?

My family is the most important and everything else falls in place by itself. My family has given me the confidence to stand strong. Everyone has different priorities and the way we find our balance is unique to our situations. The key is to understand where your priorities lie.

The post Praneet Kaur: Leaving an Abusive Marriage appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

I admire Sakshi Shrivastava.

Sakshi Shrivastava talks openly about her mental health and deals with it. Sakshi Shrivastava is real, vulnerable, unguarded, and answers without a stitch.

Is it any wonder that she has more than 30,000 followers on Linkedin?

Recently, a senior manager of communication for a non-profit asked how come I have so many followers on social media. This senior manager had a blog, a degree in communications, and had the title but no followers or readers on her site.

We can learn a lot from Sakshi Shrivastava. She does not make excuses. She has accepted the cards dealt to her. Give her a lemon and she makes lemonade. She has taken her empathy and compassion to another level by taking care of street dogs.

Sakshi has accepted her limitations and realized hey let’s become an entrepreneur.

In life when you are transparent, real, vulnerable, and speak from the heart, people are attracted to you.

As you read about Sakshi here is my call to action for you. How do you view your weaknesses? How do you deal with the cards that life has thrown at you? Do you become critical, and blame everyone else? Or do you look in the mirror and become empowered?

Sakshi, welcome to Four Columns. I want to know something important about you.

While writing answers to your questions, I left this one for the last. I’ve been a little intimidated by this one, but let’s do this with one of the things I adore — lists!

1. I’m a 27-year-old mom of two adopted ex-street dogs
2. I’m the co-founder of a digital marketing agency
3. I’m an animal activist and co-founder of Paw People, on a mission to improve the lives of street animals
4. I’m a lefty
5. I have a tattoo of a book on my wrist and an honors degree in English Literature
6. I love lifting weights in the gym
7. I’m kind of a tech junkie, I love flashy new gadgets
8. I battled depression, anxiety, and burnout and continue to raise awareness around it
9. I love social media! I’m very active on LinkedIn and Instagram
10. I don’t understand poetry, but I like to pretend that I do

I love the name of your company Digital Curry. Talk to me about it. How did you come up with the idea?

I’m as desi (you might have to Google the term, it’s a Hindi word but I’m sure you can find a way to add it to your daily vocabulary) as it gets. Digital Curry is a flavourful brainchild born out of passion, spice, and everything nice. 

We wanted our business to represent the freshness we bring to the world of B2B marketing. Needless to say, we got a little ‘curried’ away and so, TDC came to life.

Walk me through the process of quitting your job and becoming an entrepreneur.

You know how there’s a feeling inside your heart telling you that you’re born to be an entrepreneur, to be your own boss, to live life on your own rules? Yeah, I didn’t have that at all. 

I always enjoyed my perfectly laid out KPIs, task lists, and limited liabilities. I loved the comfort of a steady paycheck every month. But after COVID hit, like a lot of other people I ended up with burnout. Couldn’t stand going to work at all and I had the privilege of leaving my job so I took the plunge.

I took a break for a month and started freelancing. In just a couple of months, the demand grew more than I could manage by myself so, my partner Abhishek quit his job too and joined in to build TDC with me and we officially launched in January 2022.

Help me understand your vision, mission, and unique value proposition. 

Love this question. Here’s the thing — we were both accidental entrepreneurs. We were never obsessed with the idea of building huge businesses and getting expensive exits down the line.

One thing we’ve always been passionate about is our love for dogs. We have two adopted dogs at home, they helped me through some of the most difficult phases of our lives. So we decided to find passion through the power of doing good. 

Ever since we built TDC, we have been using 10% (or more if needed) of all our top-line revenue to feed street dogs. It started with a handful of dogs and today, we feed about 60 street dogs daily. We’ve also rescued two dogs, and regularly take part in helping vaccinate and neuter them with local NGOs.

So, our vision is to scale TDC while working with brands that believe in the power of doing good. Business has to mean more than just making a profit. We want to work with brands that believe in doing more.

We plan on building our first dog shelter by the end of this year, followed by multiple others across the county. With TDC, we want to bring real change in real lives and we’ll move mountains to do it.  

As a women entrepreneur, do you face any cultural or gender bias?

So far, I haven’t noticed any significant difference between how I’m treated in comparison to how Abhishek (my male co-founder) is treated. All the people I’ve talked to have been respectful, and considerate, and did not treat me differently just because I’m a woman. 

Is women empowerment a buzzword? In your own words, what is women’s empowerment?

Yes and no. My understanding of it has evolved a lot over the last few years. For me, equality does not end with empowering modern women who are ready to fight for their rights. It has to be more inclusive than that. 

I now focus on building more inclusive ideas of gender equality, where there’s a place for trans-women, women from challenging financial circumstances, women to conform to the norms of society while empowering the next generation in their capacity, also men who face discrimination, and amongst others.

Women empowerment has been thrown around a lot, especially by huge corporations without a lot of actual groundwork. So, it’s a buzzword when it’s used as a buzzword. At the same time, I know many people from all different genders that are doing phenomenal work in bringing actual change in society.

In the Indian culture are you talking more about mental health? Or is it put under the carpet?

As a very vocal mental health advocate, I’ve seen both. Quick background about myself: I was diagnosed with clinical depression and anxiety in my last year of college, was on medication for almost two years and had a lot of therapy. Then had a burnout in 2020.

All of this has been pretty public on my social media. I’m very active on LinkedIn with a substantial readership, so I make a point to share my experiences, no matter how uncomfortable they are to share. This normalizes not being okay and more and more people open up.

We need to note that my background is still very privileged. My parents recommended I see a psychiatrist when I felt low, I could leave my job when I was burnt out, I could afford therapy, I could open up about my struggles and it did not affect my job.

This isn’t the case for everyone. So, I’ve been noticing a major shift in how we talk about mental health but at the same time, all of us live in a bubble. That bubble could be big or small, but we never get to see the actual vast spectrum of experiences others from different backgrounds have. 

Why is mental health not given the same importance as physical and financial health?

If I break my leg, I can’t hide it. People will know I have a broken leg. If I go bankrupt, people will know. If I’m depressed, I can smile it away and nobody will know unless I tell them.

There are many reasons contributing to the shushing of mental health, the stigma, the lack of understanding, the fear of judgment, and the cost to treat it. 

When I share my experiences with mental health, I get tons of comments from people publicly sharing their stories. At the same time, I also get a lot of DMs of people silently opening up about their struggles because they’re afraid their peers will see it and judge them.

I’m sure the narrative is changing very rapidly, but what we need to keep the momentum going is more inclusive conversations on a range of different platforms. Mental health is still an issue that many cannot even afford to think about. We need to make sure it does not end up becoming something that only privileged people know and care about.

I want to know something unique about your city and the food scene.

I’ve lived in 5 cities by now. So, we’ll need to do another piece about this question entirely if I go in depth about it but let me talk about Indian food. I pride myself on being a foodie and I’m happy to say that I live in heaven. From 5-star hotels to street food, it’s all a blessing. 

If you’re into sweet food, you’ll never leave India. If you’re into spicy food, I’m sure I don’t have to explain how India is the spice heaven of the world. If any of your readers decide to visit India, I hope they reach out to me, I’ll take them out to try the best food they can find!

I love your wicked sense of humor. So tell me a few jokes.

Haha, on the contrary, I’ll give you a very bland answer. 

I’m not a jokes person, you know? My humor is very situational. I’m the one who tells those jokes that if you weren’t there, they will mean nothing to you. I do like to think I’m funny, as much as my partner gets tired of my relentless puns and dad jokes, he’s told me one of the reasons he decided to spend his life with me is because I make him laugh. 

The post Sakshi Shrivastava: Digital Curry appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

Tiv Perfume recently launched a campaign called the Love Yourself Challenge, which is all about empowering women to love themselves, be all they can be and lead their best lives. The seven-step challenge encourages women to invest in their emotional wellbeing through self-love, and by giving themselves permission to have the things they want and deserve in life. I pose some questions to Cynthia who founded the firm and talks about women empowerment.

Cynthia, please tell me a little about yourself?

I’ve been in the fashion and beauty industry all my professional life as a model and then, at the age of 25, I became fashion coordinator at Kaufmann’s Department Store in Pittsburgh, my hometown. Kaufmann’s was the flagship store in the May Department Stores retail chain, now Macy’s.  Since that time, I was promoted to Fashion Director at the May Company Department stores in Cleveland.  From Cleveland, I moved to New York to become Director of Fashion and Beauty Marketing at Essence Magazine. I was recruited from Essence to the headquarters of Estee Lauder in Manhattan as a marketing director in the fragrance division.  After a number of years with Estee Lauder Company, I embraced my entrepreneurial spirit and developed my own fragrance line, Tiv … The Designer Fragrance of the Caribbean.

Let’s talk about Tiv Perfume. I have heard of French, Italian and Swiss perfumes. Never from the Caribbean. So, what is unique about your perfume and why should women buy it?

I moved to the Caribbean to create Tiv in its own environment.  While there were a number of local fragrances on many of the islands, there was no designer fragrance that represented the beauty, sunshine and exotic scents of the Caribbean.  For me, there was a simple solution.  Creating Tiv was the natural thing to do.  Tiv was successfully launched in the Bahamas and became a favorite with tourists from all over the world, as well as the locals.

Help me understand what is the Love Yourself Challenge all about and how does this empower women?

The Love Yourself Challenge is about empowering women to love themselves in the most profound way…by leading their best life. It’s about encouraging women to have confidence, strength, self-love, self-worth, and feel beautiful… to be successful in life, to LOVE their life. To live their dreams and achieve their goals, and not give them up to make sacrifices for others, as we women often do (for our families, kids, husbands, etc). As we get older, we let our dreams fade, and we give up on our joy. And as we fall out of love with our lives, we lose the motivation to care for ourselves. We’re so busy and stressed that we stop looking after our health and our emotional wellbeing.

We want to make sure women everywhere know it’s okay to look out for themselves and focus on self-love, that they have the power to turn their life around and start truly LOVING their life, and loving themselves. Because that’s the most critical aspect of your life… We aren’t truly whole or happy unless we love ourselves fully.

Walk me through the seven-step process?

The seven steps of the Love Yourself Challenge focus on:

1. It’s time to live your dreams and start doing the things you’ve ALWAYS wanted to do. Before, it’s too late.
2. Use affirmations instead of negative self-talk. We criticize ourselves every day, thinking things and saying things when we look in the mirror that we would NEVER say to a loved one. So why are we saying them to ourselves?!
3. Make rest and relaxation a necessity in your life, and learn how to figure out your most productive times during the day. It is critical we rest during our natural “down-times”, and not only for our health but in order to be our happiest and most successful.
4. Learn the importance of building quality relationships with friends that inspire you and encourage you to be the best person you can be. Remember, you directly reflect the people you hand out with the most.
5. How to start loving keeping your body healthy and fit. If you don’t love exercise, you’re not doing the right type of exercise for you!
6. Achieving your goals is the key to leading a fulfilling life. But your goals and dreams will never become a reality if you don’t get clear on what EXACTLY you want to achieve, map them out, break them down into steps, and start taking action.
7. How to find a creative practice. Giving yourself permission to take the time to be joyfully creative is one of the most profound ways to love yourself.

Why did you launch this challenge? Is it more a marketing gimmick or sincerely helping women?

The reason we launched the Love Yourself Challenge is because, as women, we know what women struggle with the most, and we wanted to do something that had the potential to truly change women’s lives. Something truly, deeply meaningful. Something that would make a profound impact on women across the nation, even around the globe, if we can spread our challenge wide enough. The Love Yourself Challenge aims to help women from all walks of life and all aspects of the struggle, to live the life they deserve. To live happily, healthily, and meaningfully. To love their bodies and their reflection. And to live their dreams.

Our only dream for the Love Yourself Challenge is that any woman who has found value and impact from the challenge share it with their friends and family, to help us change as many women’s lives as possible, on the largest scale we can.

What does women’s empowerment mean to you?

Women empowerment, to us, means encouraging women to be leaders in their lives. To be in the driver’s seat of your own joy, your own success, your own body, your own voice, your own path.

Young women all over the world want to make a career in the beauty and cosmetics industry. Please give me a couple of tips?

Like any other career, one must first have a natural affinity … were you in front of the mirror as a youngster, loving fashion magazines instead of comic books, at the mall in the boutiques and cosmetics counters, etc? If one has that innate sense, then it may well be for you. It’s a wonderful, competitive and satisfying industry full of energy and people who love what they are doing.

Please explain where you live, the city, food, restaurants, culture and why should we visit?

Southeast Florida is the perfect place to be outside of Manhattan for anyone interested in fashion, beauty, lifestyle, and sunshine. I live in Delray Beach which 50 years ago was a great beach town. Over the years, it has grown to within inches of its boundaries. But fondly enough, over and above some of the other rival historic beach towns in the area, Delray Beach remains a great beach town… It’s remarkable! The shopping district is alive with eclectic shops, restaurants, boutique hotels, art galleries, live entertainment, and casual culture.

The corporate offices are in Boca Raton, a relatively small city with an international reputation for excellence. It has more corporate headquarters than any other city in the state of Florida. And yet, you’re close enough to the beach to have lunch overlooking the surf and get back to the office.

Share with my audience something challenging you have been through. What did you learn and how did you come out on the other side thriving?

Tiv perfume is The Designer Fragrance of the Caribbean. Therefore, we have always had a Caribbean home. We relocated the company from the Bahamas to the U.S. Virgin Islands 20 years ago. However, when we made the decision to make online sales our first priority, we had to move to the mainland to accommodate the demands of high-speed internet capability, shipping, fulfillment and talent. The first challenge was where to relocate. And we couldn’t be more pleased with the decision to move the company to Boca Raton. The infrastructure, vibrant business community and the people make it the perfect move. But two things were happening – relocating and completing changing our direction from retail to online sales and marketing. We still maintain a marketing and promotional presence in St. Thomas, but all major company activity is in Boca Raton.  We learned that the major challenge in such a major move is research.

I am sure you lead a hectic life. How do food, faith, finance, and family come together for you?

You can imagine the answer to this question is, “It’s a challenge.” First, I try to take advantage of the markets that sell fresh vegetables, fruits, and seafood for meals at home. The area is remarkably business-friendly which is a plus for building a financial future both personally and for the company. My family and old friends are scattered but visit often. As for my faith, I wake up every morning with a prayer to acknowledge the blessings of strength, courage, and good health. Life is good.

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Arooba Najaf is your typical millennial.

International Women’s Day is celebrated on March 8 globally to highlight the economic, social, political, and cultural achievements of women. It is a day for a call to action for accelerating women’s equality.

Aruba is an island in the southern Caribbean Sea. Arooba Najaf calls herself a #typicalmillennials. She likes being on the move, jumping between tasks, and looking forward to the future possibilities that will come her way.  Arooba Najaf is a visual entrepreneur, social media influencer, blogger, and motivational speaker. I catch up with her about what inspires her to show the beauty of her work.

Arooba, I love your name. Does it mean something?

My name means Congrats in Arabic.

Please tell my audience something important about you.

Something important about me is that I am very passionate about the arts and helping others.

Walk me through the city you live in, the culture, the food scene, and name three good restaurants?

The city I live in is Matawan, New Jersey. The culture in this small town is very diverse, vibrant, and full of life. The town is represented for its sports. We are a close-knit community. What I love about Matawan is the people and stories within the town. We all come from different backgrounds yet our struggles make us close. In the town of Matawan, the food scene is very diverse. There are so many amazing restaurants to taste as well as discover such as Angelos Pizza, Aby’s Mexican Restaurant, and Amravathi Indian Restaurant.

What does women’s empowerment mean to you?

To, me women empowerment is women having the power to change the world.

In terms of career, what are you doing and what are the future plans?

Right now, I’m a freelancer in the visual content business and a creative entrepreneur. My future plans are honestly uncertain but whatever the future has in store I’m ready for it. Yes, there will be roadblocks and obstacles but life is about taking chances as well as learning.

How has social media impacted your society?

Social media has impacted my society that sometimes what we see isn’t worth it. You have to work hard and hustle. Instagram, for example, shows that you need to travel and be pretty, in reality, it’s an optical illusion.

I have a 15-year-old daughter, what advice would you give her?

To teenagers today, the advice I would give them is to be yourself and don’t get caught up in high school drama. Enjoy, high school but live in the moment, not for the likes but the experience. Because life is full of experiences and memories.

Rapid Fire Questions:

Favorite food:  Chicken Tikka

Favorite dish:   Chicken Biryani

Favorite movie: The Glass Castle

Favorite actor:  Bri Larson

Favorite city:   Los Angeles and San Francisco although I never been

Choose three people you would like to have a meal with. Why? What is one question you would ask them?

The three people I would like to have a meal with would be my grandma, Gary Vee, and Marie Forleo. I would ask them what inspires them to keep going and to motivate others.

If you were chosen to go to Mars. What five things would you take with you?

The five things I would take to Mars would be my camera, photos of my family, tons of food, sunglasses, and Polaroid.

If you had a choice which century would you prefer to live and why?

The century I would love to live in would be the 60s. I love the fashion during that time and the vintage feels from that century. I know I’m a bit old school but I love this century for being bright yet full of colors. I learned a lot about it through the show Mad Men.

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Kylie is a personal trainer, fitness nutritionist specialist, and mother. She is a firm believer in women empowering themselves and to practice intentional living. This intentional living is a blessing that gives you the power to nourish your body and soul and to thrive with self-love, self-worth, and confidence. It will make you radiant in every area of life.

Kylie, tell me something unique and different about you?

I love journaling! I once heard someone say, “Wisdom lies in the questions, not the answers.” It is through journaling that I truly understood how powerful questions are. The prompts in journals always set me off into deep thoughts and reflections, uncovering so many insights and clarity. Journaling has expanded my views and guided me to give thoughts on critical issues and aspects of life that I normally wouldn’t have given much attention to. So, I am constantly on a lookout for good journals!

I love the word empowering and intentional living. Talk to me about how you use it in your practice?

To bring health and nutrition effortlessly into your life, it’s crucial that we look at your life in its entirety rather than just solely nutrition. You are a real person with a career to excel in, family to raise, and passions to pursue. Your life doesn’t revolve just around nutrition. It’s not realistic to focus only on nutrition and neglect other aspects of your life. Merging intentional living with nutrition will allow these two components to sync and flow seamlessly; rather than trying to fit things in haphazardly. Intentional living is integrated through journaling components in the Nutrition Blueprint that my clients will be crafting.

Talking about empowerment, there are many ways to empower oneself. There are also many ways people give up their power unknowingly. In the case of nutrition, some of us change and compromise our lifestyle to adhere to meal plans or diets. We are giving up our rights to live life the way we desire and often end up feeling miserable. Education is one way of empowering yourself to take your power back but there’s a catch.

Knowledge is important but the ability to apply this knowledge safely, effectively and consistently is critical. True empowerment through education is achieved when you combine knowledge with skillsets to implement them. Information alone seldom leads to results. You can buy as many meal plans, fitness plans or courses as you like. If you don’t work on them consistently or if you don’t apply them appropriately, nothing will work.

It’s not my practice to give my clients a meal plan or diet and ask them to “Follow this and don’t deviate.” I equip my clients with essential nutrition knowledge, so they know the reason why they are doing something. They will know the purpose of every step and action plan. It will never be a case of “doing it for the sake of doing” without understanding. I also develop their skillsets to implement nutrition principles so that nutrition flow into their life and is sustainable. These skillsets will also work for other aspects of their life, be it picking up a new hobby or a new habit. Combining knowledge, skills, and clarity, my clients will truly be empowered. They can confidently make adjustments and be flexible about how they integrate nutrition principles into their life.

What kind of a coach are you? I like that you say if someone is looking for a quick fix then you are not the right fit.

I’m a firm believer that it’s not what you do that matters, it’s whether you can do it consistently. No matter how small the action is, if you can do it consistently, you will see results. Most importantly, it will last. Never undermine the power of small, consistent actions. Quick fixes may give you great results, but if it’s not a lifestyle that you can keep up in the long run, the results won’t last. You will go back to where you began and start over again and again. It becomes a vicious cycle that repeats indefinitely. You will be deflated and feel like a total failure even when it’s not exactly your fault. It’s just a fact that quick fixes are not meant to yield long-term sustainable results.

I know life is busy and can be messy, which may be the reason why quick fixes seem so attractive. No matter which stage you are in your health journey, I will meet you where you are. Together we will work with your lifestyle, your schedule, your level of ability, your resources, your environment, your preferences, etc. It’s about integrating things in a harmonious manner rather than forcing nutrition into their life.

Walk me through your struggles with motherhood, what changed and how are you a different person?

I have had several health issues that I needed to deal with postpartum. Juggling motherhood and health issues were tough. I constantly felt guilty when I needed to take some time off for myself. I also felt like a failure when I couldn’t manage the daily responsibilities of taking care of a newborn, housework, etc. I crumbled under the stress. I knew I had to work through those struggles but there was no clear solution.

On a random day when I was observing my child fumbling with her toys and trying to figure out how the toy works, I had a sudden realization. I felt so much joy seeing her explore. Even when she made a mistake, I would still cheer her on. We are so forgiving towards babies who are learning and yet we are so harsh on ourselves when falling short on our own expectations and mistakes. That moment, I knew how I can work things out. That is to act from a place of love.

I stopped picking on my shortcomings. I reminded myself that I am still learning as a first-time mother and patient. I focused on my strengths and what I can do best for my child and my health. I cheered myself on, just like how I cheered my child on. With this approach, my blind spots slowly surfaced. It’s like I’m learning about myself all over again. I’ve re-learned so many values and mind-sets together with my child.

Since then, I see myself as a student of life, always learning and growing. Challenges are lessons that life uses to nurture and teach us. It’s ok to stumble and fall, just like a baby falls while learning to walk. It’s also important to have some form of a self-care routine to help you rest and rejuvenate. It’s only when you are in a great space mentally and physically will you be able to give your 100%. It’s true to say, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.”

We are living fast lives and never slowing down at the expense of our health and nutrition. Give me a more realistic way as to how we can approach this?

In this hectic world, we are constantly multitasking and even operating on auto-pilot mode. It’s no wonder so many of us are burned-out and stopped noticing the little things in life. It may even sound daunting to allocate time for health and nutrition.

Truth is, we don’t need big and extreme actions to improve our health and nutrition.

Remember we discussed small consistent actions earlier on? Here’s how you can approach it:

1. Decide on an area you would like to improve on or a goal you would like to achieve.
2. List down actions that you think will help you in reaching that goal.
3. Pick one action you are confident in implementing successfully.
4. Ask yourself if the action is small enough to be acted on consistently on a daily basis.
   1. If yes, decide how exactly you are going to do it and then do it!
   2. If no, think about how you can break that action down into smaller steps that can be acted on consistently every day.
5. Once you feel comfortable and are able to act on this action consistently, you can repeat the process to select another action.

The key is to make that step small, easy and quick to do. It may be as simple as drinking one extra glass of water every day or doing a 5 minutes’ stretch every morning. As long as you can do it consistently, you are doing great! You can download the cheat sheet here for quick reference.

If I hire you as a coach, can I go to Mcdonalds, have a coke, and eat ice cream?

Yes, you can! In fact, McDonald’s’ is my favorite fast-food chain. I love their Fillet-O-Fish burger, French fries, and Hot Fudge Sundae! Adhering to any particular diet or cutting out any food category is not necessary unless it is due to a medical condition or required by your medical doctor. There’s no “bad” or “good” food. It’s how we eat and how much we eat that matters. In excessive quantity, even beneficial nutrients like Vitamin A can become toxic.

Talk to me about the city you live in. I want to know the food scene and the amazing restaurants and why should we visit?

I’m from the sunny island of Singapore! It’s summer all year round over here. If you love the sun and beach, our island is the perfect travel destination.

Food Centres are where the locals usually go for our daily meals. There’s a wide range of tasty food selection, all at affordable prices. The best part is you can enjoy Michelin Starred food at the Food Centres without breaking the bank! Tian Tian Hainanese Chicken Rice is possibly the most famous chicken rice in Singapore. Its flagship stall is at Maxwell Food Centre. American celebrity chef Anthony Bourdain once commented that the rice from Tian Tian is exceptionally fragrant, flavorsome, and is delicious on its own. There was an exciting “Hawker Heroes Challenge” in 2013 which Gordon Ramsay took part in and lost out to Tian Tian. So be sure to try Tian Tian Hainanese Chicken Rice when you visit Singapore!

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Entrepreneurship is taking a risk, bootstrapping, and the extraction or creation of value. Entrepreneurship is the robust and dynamic process of being energetic in launching and running a new business. The goal in taking on risk is to create profit. The creators who think outside the box are game-changers who see gaps and create products and services to meet those gaps. These creators are called entrepreneurs. Entrepreneurship involves seeing opportunities and exploiting them. It takes hard work, guts, and determination to acquire and deploy the resources required to be efficient and be first to the marketplace with products and services. Entrepreneurs work hard and do not take no for an answer.

Entrepreneurs have to come up with a business plan. They need to do a SWOT, PESTLE, look at the McKinsey 7-S Framework, do a market analysis, and then align it all together under the Balanced Scorecard. Top that with shrewd leadership, financial acumen, taking ownership of success and failure, and surviving in the ecosystem. An entrepreneur thrives in a landscape of risk, uncertainty, and ambiguity.

Ethnic, institutional, cultural, feminist, social, nascent, or project-based are the different types of entrepreneurship.  Social entrepreneurship is where the entrepreneur expands, fund and executes solutions to environmental, social, and cultural issues.

Four columns have interviewed many women entrepreneurs. I had interviewed Paula a while back while she was running a beauty salon. Paula is a successful and serial entrepreneur who has an entrepreneurial mindset. I catch up with her as to how she is dealing with COVID and overcoming odds which is part of entrepreneurship.

Paula, what have you been doing since our last interview?

Since our last interview, quite a lot has happened, from relocating, rebranding, re-developing, and restructuring, all the “re’s” for the reason for my re-birth like the Phoenix to surpass the disruption of COVID. Just like most business owners, we have been victims of, on-again, off-again COVID operating restrictions, and our attempts to create some momentum have been seriously challenged.

You did not let COVID get to you. You pivoted and came out with a new line of business? Tell me about it?

As I said, like the Phoenix I rebirthed by taking this unfortunate time to develop what I have been dreaming and working on for years, and COVID simply created the opportunity for me to take this new venture more seriously. Let’s face it, during regular business hours my focus has always been on giving my clients the very best of my experience and time possible, and so that did not leave me much spare time to work on new ideas.

So, when we saw that the personal care restrictions were going to stick around for a while I decided to go all-in on the new idea because now I had the time. Pulling together a team of advisors, manufacturers, online shopping developers, and marketing specialists, we quickly formulated a plan to create, complete, package, and market the new Paula’s TRY Miracle skincare collections.

Why should we use your organic and vegan products?

For us organic and vegan was the only way to go. If you can remember our last interview we spoke openly about me using only vegan and organic products in my spa. Our skin is already subjected to so many toxic things in our environment and the only true way to combat that is with nature’s own natural ingredients. Our products contain highly effective medical and organic grade ingredients such as Apple Stem Cells, Peptides, Plant Sourced Pseudo Collagen and Hyaluronic Acid, Vitamins, Enzymes, and AHA exfoliants. Exotic skin conditioners such as Gotu Kola, Lychee, Inca Inchi, Konjac Root, Argon, Murumuru, and Kukui Nut offer a distinctive cachet to each exquisite product. These powerful skin conditioners, oils, butter, and antioxidants will help clients achieve a healthy natural glow!

Talk to me about some of the lessons you have learned with your salon and opening a new line of business?

One thing is for certain, you cannot rely on what you did last year to provide you with the best possible results for this year. That approach is a sure-fire way to lose your business. People are more demanding today about what they want and when they want it. Technology has found its way into every corner of our lives and the result is that we have developed into a society of supply and demand. When someone decides it’s time for them to buy or sell something, they are able to execute that transaction online and in record time.

Now within that scenario that I just described to you, Jerry lies a great opportunity because with such speed and hustle people soon lose themselves, they get stressed out and with COVID on top of that, many are ready to explode. They need to de-stress, relax and regenerate now more than ever. This is where our pivot to promoting a healthy skincare regimen adds true value for those people who understand and accept that it makes sense to take better care of themselves, or quickly burn out.

I am sure as entrepreneurs we all make mistakes? Help me understand some of the mistakes you made and what you would do differently going forward?

True entrepreneurs often make mistakes and are sometimes distracted by what we call “shiny objects”. There’s always something that comes along that appears like a great idea on the surface. What I’ve found over time is to trust my true instincts and remain true to my roots as it relates to my business. Yes, I’ve experienced great heartaches, business interruptions along with many other things in my life, but nothing has been as rewarding for me as to see the feeling of revitalization on the faces of my clients, family, and friends.

Yes, like many others I’ve been taken in by a smooth word and a fleeting moment when I believed in someone that really only had their eye on either their own bottom line or well being with little or no consideration for myself. I believe I’ve gotten better at recognizing those things when I see them now.

So going forward for me, if the idea is not aligned with my core purpose, and values around giving and serving nothing but a great experience to my clients and others, then I am not very likely to be that interested in it. Having now found this great opportunity to bring one of my personal dreams to the forefront, with this new Vegan and organic product line, I’m feeling blessed.

What are some of the challenges your business is facing?

I don’t have a crystal ball Jerry, but if this current pandemic continues to plague us and prevents us from being in a position where we cannot return to a full-service salon and spa. We are going to have to rebuild and maybe redesign the process by which we serve our clients, which I am prepared to do.

Jerry before I go I want to say this to you that the hardship and past are behind me now, I will not dwell on it, nor talk about it anymore, but truthfully it was the past, my faith in God, and all the hardship that made me who I am today. In saying all of this I want to encourage you and the audience that whatever it is you are going through right now it is only for a moment. This is only a season and every season changes and change are imminent, growth is not possible without change.

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Amina Mohamed is a game-changer. Four Columns is always on the lookout for game-changers who are empowering women. Amina Mohamed is the embodiment of a game-changer. She is passionate about making a difference in the lives of young girls in Uganda. She has taken the tenets of her faith and put them to practical use. She walks the walk. Amina shares a lot of wisdom in this interview. She is real and vulnerable about her own life. I admire her willingness and persistence to make a difference in this world through her charity and volunteer work at Triple F Photo Tours.

A game-changer is a newly introduced element or factor that changes an existing situation in a significant way. It is the Eureka moment when you see something others do not. We experience something significant and rousing, and we want to do something. It is metamorphic alchemy that makes a difference in the lives of people.

A game-changer is relentless, committed, and persistent in a cause. They are original, who see the status quo and bring an out-of-the-box mindset. They break free from traditional thinking, test the patterns of thinking like lemmings, and promote diversity of thought.

A game-changer is introspective, self-aware, and cognizant of the needs and emotions around them. The game-changer knows that what they are doing is bigger than themselves. They get intrinsic satisfaction from making a difference in the lives of other people.

Hi Amina, I love that your name means peace. Tell me something important about you.

I am passionate about helping others.  When I am not working on my work in Uganda, I volunteer in my community with Rotary International or I do community work by supporting the homeless. I strongly believe that if we all do our part to help others, we can all make this a more beautiful world.

Talk to me about your catchy slogan ‘where fun, f(ph)otography & f(ph)ilanthrophy meet?

I wanted a slogan that fit both Triple F Photo Tours (taking enthusiast and amateur photographers on a tour of Uganda and helping them improve their photography while on an excursion, hence the Fun and the F(ph)otography) and the work I do with Cameras For Girls (our F(ph)ilanthropic outreach).

Walk me through your journey and how you came to reconcile your identity?

Reconciling that identity has always been a struggle.  I was born in Merton, UK, moved to Uganda when I was nine months old, and lived in Uganda until I was three when we were forced to leave our home country by Idi Amin.  I grew up with a mixture of Indian and African roots and the feeling that I did not fit in anywhere.  Canada has been home for the last almost 50 years (next November will the 50-year anniversary when we came to Canada) and I am still torn between my Canadian identity and my African roots.  To further explore this, my husband is Danish and my Canadian-born adopted daughter is half-Polish and half-Sudanese.  We refer to ourselves as the United Nations.

I admire that you want to make a difference in the lives of girls and leave a legacy. Help me understand how you came to that point in your life?

I had an amazing career working in film and television and after 15 amazing years working on many films, tv series, documentaries, and short films, I left to do something else.  We were newly married (I married late) and considering adopting and working in this industry is not conducive to a happy marriage, thus I quit.  From there I went on to work in the real estate industry, first as a home stager and then later as an award-winning mortgage broker.  However, the call of the camera and creativity started calling my name and in August 2017, frustrated with my career I came up with the idea to make a difference for young girls and women in Uganda.

On my first trip home to Uganda in 2007, I was there to self-direct and produce a documentary about the return of the Asians that started coming back as then and current President Museveni realized that if Uganda was going to make any type of economic recovery, he would have to welcome home the Indians.  When I got there, the sheer poverty hit me hard and the realization that many girls and women in developing countries are not given the same rights and freedoms I had been given, growing up in Canada.  I wanted to make a difference but at that time I did not know-how.  Fast forward to August 2017 and I came up with this idea and a year later after making a business plan, I was in Uganda conducting my first photography training with 15 young girls and women between the ages of 18-29.  These girls come with a background in journalism.  Unlike North America or Europe, a job in journalism in Uganda does not guarantee a payment or a full-time job, unless you own a camera and know how to use it.  By marrying our program with girls and women who are either in their last year of a University Journalism program, or girls who have graduated and looking for work, or girls who have been hired but not getting paid, simply because they lack the skills, we are able to help them get full-time jobs in a very male-dominated society.  To date, I have taught 32 girls and 11 now have full-time jobs.

What does it mean to be raised with a deep sense of community, culture, and humanity?

It’s important to me because living in Canada in a cultural melting pot and having my own melting pot of a background, I am able to see others and respect others for their traditions, way of dress, language, and practices.  I believe that at the end of the day, regardless of our cultural backgrounds we are all the same and that if we were to all think that way, humanity would be much happier and more peaceful.

The Ismaili diaspora is very successful. There are solidarity and brotherhood among them. In your opinion what leads to that success?

My own grandfather emigrated to Uganda from India when he was 14 years old, as he saw opportunities that were not available to him in India.  Many Indians were brought to Uganda to build the railroad and after completing this, they stayed and raised their families.  My grandfather worked hard and earned enough to bring his mother, his brothers, and their families to Uganda.  Both my paternal and maternal grandfathers were very wealthy and successful in Uganda.  My parents were first-generation born and my sister was 2^nd generation. I myself was born in the UK.  Knowing how hard it was for our grandfathers, who led and paved the way, made Ismaili’s in particular recognize the sacrifices that were made to make a better life in Uganda, and thus hard-work came with that.

Interesting fact – Prime Minister Pierre Elliott Trudeau and The Aga Khan were very good friends and thus when we were exiled from Uganda, it was due to this friendship that there exists many Ismaili’s in Canada.  Other countries that took us in were Austria, Germany, and Uganda.

Define women empowerment and your role in empowering young girls?

We give the girls a camera to keep, teach her how to use it to tell stories that matter to them.  We also assist them to apply for jobs by helping them with resumes, cover letters, and LinkedIn profiles.  By providing the tools, we empower our girls to compete for jobs, otherwise not afforded to them, simply due to gender or inequality that exists in many developing countries.  Our girls go out in the world equipped with the tools to succeed.  The camera stands as the same as teaching a person to fish.

The word is mightier than the sword. One photograph can change the world. Please comment?

100% agree.  Think about the photo that Steve Curry took of the Afghan girl or Nilüfer Demir’s photo of Alan Kurdi, the drowned Syrian boy.  Images can sear your memory and make concrete changes in the world.  Images can convey a thousand words as they say due to the power they have to make concrete and long-lasting changes.

Help me understand your faith, culture, food, and special festivals?

I grew up in a strict Muslim household and would attend prayers every Friday as well as all religious festivities, however, as I got older I became more independent and no longer follow my faith.  I am still Ismaili by birth but not in practice.  I do however enjoy celebrating Eid and cultural festivals through my husband’s background and those of my friends, who come from different faiths.  I believe again that we are all one and in some respects, religion can divide instead of bringing us together.

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Ashley Wray is a Millennial. She is barely 25 years old, got married, divorced, has seen 26 countries, and is starting a business. She is honest, real, vulnerable, and in touch with what is going on in her life. I got together with her over a coffee to talk about love, peace, food, faith, family, finance, travel, spirituality, nature, women empowerment, the future, and about her being a Goddess.

International Women’s Day (IWD) is celebrated on March 8^th every year. It is an important day for women’s rights. On February 28, 1909, the Socialist Party of America organized a Women’s Day in New York City. In 1910 at the International Socialist Woman’s Conference, German delegates Paula Thiede, Kate Duncker, and Clara Zetkin suggested a ‘special Women’s Day’ be organized. In 1917, women gained suffrage in Russia and March 8 became a national holiday. Women’s Day was celebrated only in communist and socialist countries. In 1967, the feminist movement adopted it. In 1977, the United Nations began celebrating it.

Four Columns is all about inspiring and empowering women to live a balanced life. To celebrate Women’s Day, I am interviewing various women, from different backgrounds.

Ashley Wray, you are one of the most real, vulnerable, open people I have met in my life. So, tell me a little about you?

Firstly, I just wanted to thank you for interviewing me and having me on your blog.

I haven’t quite figured out my “life purpose”. I know for sure that part of my purpose is definitely making other people feel validated and loved in this life. I was bullied when I was younger and that helped me realize that I wanted to work in a field where I could positively impact and help people. I love exploring different healing modalities. I’m currently exploring shamanic healing. I find shamanic healing very interesting.  I hope to be able to one day offer this healing to my clients around the world. I love traveling. I’ve traveled to 26 different countries with Guatemala, Mexico City, and Arizona next on my travel agenda. I’m a modern Goddess, feminist, and lover of all living things.

Ashley you are barely 25, have been married for a couple of years and divorced. Walk me through the experience and what did you learn and how did you change because of it?

Jerry, I’ve always thought about writing a book, about how my early days impacted me so strongly and made me the woman I am today. It’s hard to go really into those experiences without writing pages and pages worth but I’ll do my best to really give your readers an idea of who I am today and my story.

I moved to England when I was 19. I was very unhappy and I was wanting to escape a very abusive situation. I had this dream to start fresh and couldn’t think of a perfect place to do it but to move to a country across the world. The thought of being foreign in a foreign place where I knew absolutely no one and no one knew me was the perfect scenario.  This was the first time I had left the abusive situations that I had been in and out of for over 10 years.

It wasn’t until I left Canada, that I felt safe enough to start the self-healing process. Within that healing process, I meet my ex-husband a couple of weeks after moving to England. Looking back, I understand that the attraction to each other was so deep because we were both wounded soldiers.

What I learned most from that situation was the “Law of Attraction” and how real it really is. Like attracts like. He intensified all the wounds inside me, the feelings of not being worthy of love and not being good enough to receive love is what I felt most when I was with him. I continued to pretend that I was fine but I was desperately falling apart on the inside. On the outside, I was posting the most Instagram-worthy photos of us in love. I wasn’t authentic, but it wasn’t because I didn’t want to be but that I was ashamed to express the real me and what was going on in my world.

This was a long lesson that lasted 4 years and I’m so grateful for all it taught me. I learned that the people that we attract are mirrors of what we are needing to experience or lessons we are meant to have in this lifetime. It’s all for a reason and maybe that reason will never be known :). 

What does female empowerment mean to you in the 21st century?

Female empowerment to me means feeling empowered to rise in our own unique ways and support each other and all the woman around the world on their journeys. It is such an important historical time to be a woman. Women all over the world are rising and stepping into their power. It is  F*#^!N$ AMAZING to be a part of and to be a woman in 2019! For so long women have been suppressed and to finally be a part of this generation, to be able to break free of the suppression is amazing. We can stand together knowing that we have each other’s back. I am all for the #metoo movement, #timesup movement, and #freethenipple movement.

You are a big fan of getting in touch with yourself. How did you come to this revelation and how are you helping other people heal?

I’m able to get in touch with myself the most by disconnecting from the world and connecting to the universe. I love planning a 2-day retreat or solo vacations when I’m feeling like I need to realign with myself again. I’ve found that having a strong self-care foundation is really important for me and so I’ve found things that I know bring me instant joy. These things include a special hot chocolate recipe, a walk by the water, a foot massage, writing in my journal, and meditation. I believe that I’m helping others heal by being my most authentic self. I’m working through the feelings of shame and guilt and giving myself permission to be free by being ME. I hope that allows other people to feel like they can be themselves also.

What do you do for work and do you feel fulfilled with what you’re doing?

I work at a clinic in Toronto called Province Apothecary doing intuitive organic facials and I also educate health-conscious brands on the benefits of natural health and skincare. I’m in the middle of creating my business called Moonspace which is a healing space for the modern-day woman. I’ll be offering personalized intuitive readings, energy medicine treatments, and meditation circles. I really want to create a beautiful space where women can be honored and celebrated. My intention is that women will leave the space feeling restored and empowered.

Let’s talk about spirituality. I am a big fan of unconditional love, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, compassion, do good to others, overcome evil with good, charity and forgiveness. Do we have anything in common here? What is your spirituality and is there a place for God in that?

I’m definitely a spiritual person- I believe in the oneness of the universe. I like having an open mind and being open to everyone’s beliefs. I love learning about different religions and creating something that works for me. Sometimes I pray to God, other times Buddha. I chant, I sing, I dance. I consistently live from my heart, a place of love for others and the world. I’m grateful either way for the source that watches over me and listens and responds to all my prayers.

Food nourishes the soul. Is this sentence relatable to you?

Food is my medicine and so is drinking plenty of water. Eating healthy is important to me because its another form of self-care and love. My body feels more alive when I’m eating fresh foods and I have a diet rich in fruit and vegetables. I love cooking and I love getting inspired by cookbooks and travel. I’m not a vegan or vegetarian which I think most people think I would be. I love tuning in to my body and asking my body what it needs. Sometimes my body will tell me it wants a plant-based diet for a week or so and then it will totally switch things up and wants a chicken burger. Someone once asked me if I was a “flexitarian” SURE! If I need a label… call me a flexitarian ;).

I love nature, it is the best gift we have received from our creator. How do you connect with nature?

I feel so connected when I’m in nature. I’m so grateful that we are able to have a connection with nature. I love the warmth and I feel like I come alive the most when I’m in warmer climates because I’m consistently connecting with nature.

I find my relationship harder with nature living in Toronto in the winter because I find it difficult to be outside in the cold. I am totally a tree-hugging hippie lol- I’ve hugged so many trees.

When my ex and I first broke up and I moved back to Toronto in the summer I would go to the lake every single day. I would whisper to the lake, the flowers, the birds, and the trees and tell them my worries. I felt listened to, I felt held and I would always leave feeling lighter and more connected to myself. I can’t explain the healing that started to take place by connecting to these elements but I wanted to give back to nature. I felt like I was receiving such an abundance of healing that I wanted to give back to Mother Earth the way she gave to me so I would bring the birds seeds and I would pick up garbage by the lake.

Nature has healed me in so many ways. I’d love to move somewhere warm one day. I went to Hawaii for vacation a couple of months ago and took surfing lessons WOW! A totally different connection to nature. I’d love to surf every day and be in warm saltwater.

How has meditation helped you in dealing with stuff?

Mediation has become a part of my everyday morning ritual when I first wake up. It’s time that I dedicate myself to breathing and connecting back to myself. Meditation has taught me how to breathe and how important my relationship with my breath is. Our breath is what keeps us alive and we can always use our breath as a compass for how we are feeling. If our breath is very fast, we are probably feeling anxious and if we control our breath, we can help feel less anxious and calmer. Meditation has given me clarity on what I’m wanting to manifest in my life. Quieting my mind and listening to my soul’s sweet whispers. Where will she take me next?

Ashley, at a young age you have seen a lot, done a lot, experienced a lot. What is next?

Thank you, Jerry. I’m not sure exactly what is next. I’d love to continue to fall deeper in love with myself, build an empire, continue to rise with other women, fall deeply in love one day with someone who worships me, travel more of the world, have a home somewhere hot by the beach and feel so much joy and happiness in my life.

The post Ashley Wray: The Love Goddess appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

What is the meaning of life?

I have known Mayple Dorrington since I started my career at Scotia Bank. Mayple was Director, Communications and Change Management at Scotia Bank.  Mayple recently wrote a book called Finding: The Oasis in my Soul. It is a journal, an encouraging journey through the spectrum of real-life experiences of trials and triumphs. As you read her book, you can relate to it. You will see a reflection of your own experiences. The book asks some relevant questions about having an empty void within us, do we have doubts about our gifts, weaknesses,  our purpose, and our identity?

I am a big fan of gratitude, and this book challenges my thinking to transform my mind and to get a deeper conviction of love and purpose in my life. If you are struggling with insecurity, fear, uncertainty, or anxiety, get the book, become empowered, lead an authentic life, and transform yourself into what you are intended to be.  This is the first of a two-part interview.

Mayple, a true honor to have you talk to four columns. Tell my audience a little bit about you?

Jerry, firstly I want to thank you for the opportunity to participate in your blog. I’m deeply honored to be having this dialogue with you and your audience.

Born on the beautiful island of Jamaica I grew up in a happy, loving family cushioned in a viable business environment.   The business became a casualty following the aftermath of the 1970s economic downturn in my country and the outcome later triggered my family’s immigration to another beautiful country, Canada. With a business mindset, I later pursued that area of study and embarked on an amazing career in the financial industry that spanned 3 continents with direct access to over 27 countries.  Alongside my banking occupation of choice, I am an author and a motivational speaker.  My professional designations include an economist, chartered banker, high school teacher and a personal financial planner.

I am a devout Christian who anchored my beliefs, decisions, and hope in the power of the risen Jesus Christ.  With my teaching discipline, I constantly volunteer my skills for mentoring and coaching and by my mentees’ own admission, I have the knack to identify, develop and empower countless persons in reaching their personal goals.

Having said that, my passion is primarily centered around the relationships I forged working with people drawn from across the globe and living in the most multicultural city in the world. Through these experiences, I learned how to coexist with people, understand their behaviors, outlook, and preferences, and dispense greater tolerance, acceptance, and compassion in helping others. An area that keeps me growing is to intentionally embrace the power of mindfulness. This awareness constantly provokes and inspires me to challenge my mind, peel away layers of obscurity, to look deeper and wider for insights toward the path in finding truths.

Finding: The oasis in my soul. It is an intense name for a book. How did the book come about? What is the main message? Who is the audience? What is unique and different about the message?  

Jerry, there’s lots to unpack here… yes,  the name is indeed intense. You may notice I deliberately said “Finding” and not “Find” or “Found” because it’s a journey, not a destination. My book chronicles an inspiring journey through the lens of my real-life experiences of trials and triumphs and using what I have been through to come to a place of what I now know for sure.

Strangely the genesis of my book was drawn from my wanderlust nature.  Traveling to many countries, living amongst diverse nationalities, and conversing with numerous people from different walks of life, age, and outlook; hearing their stories, the many dreams realized, the hardships overcame, and bouncing back from mistakes, I realized how much we all have in common.

I wrote the book to expose our human commonality and to express how I cultivate the power to confront and stare down the debilitating state of uncertainty, worry, and fear.  How like myself, we can overcome our shortcomings and elevate our talents and self-worth to be the best.

During my speaking engagements, after sharing my story, which is often intertwined with slices from the lives of many others, seeing the visceral reaction of agreement from my diverse audience, I validated how we all want to feel valued, loved, and accepted. The main point is to have a positive self-image of not who I am, but who God intended me to be.  How I claim truth and confidence from the backdrop of biblical examples of trust, faith, and obedience.  Each chapter illustrates a meaningful life experience, which is brutally frank about what I learned, the impact of the practical application, and my spiritual transformation. Each reader will walk away with valuable nuggets to build their confidence and self-worth.

My core objective and the key message are to challenge the readers’ thinking and arouse a sense of gratitude, wonder, and introspection, allowing us to draw from an ever-renewing Oasis where we can replace worry, fear, and doubt with the joyful assurance of God’s promises and faithfulness.

The feedback has been overwhelmingly positive that this is exactly the response it evokes. I painted a graphic picture of my experiences, whether illness, a hero to zero career moves, friendship betrayal, family choices, to be transformed, to come to a place of rest, not a place of stop, but resting on the dependence and assurance of God’s love while seeking new adventures to spread my wings.  The overarching message may not be unique or different, but it’s worth reinforcing to keep us building self-awareness on how we can draw inspiration and hope from seemingly common encounters and events in our lives. It about seeing and acknowledging God’s love and handiwork in all aspects of our lives.

Explain to me what does women’s empowerment means to you?    

Empowerment is about acting on my own volition, having options, having the autonomy to make choices.  Really, Jerry, it’s to emancipate me from the sense of powerlessness, to become self-determined, being able to take charge of my life by owning my decisions, circumstances, hopes, and dreams, growing stronger, wiser, and more confident.

Having said that, for me, I do not believe women’s empowerment is independent of the influence of men. I strongly believe men and women were created with different, but complementary traits. When working in unity, we unleash the freedom to both look outward, naturally curious in opening ourselves to the universe, feeling supported to take risks, and to reimagine possibilities based on the imagery of how to think, rather than the limitation of what to think.

I have countless examples of gender neutrality during brainstorming, problem-solving, and trouble-shooting that delivered the optimum results, mainly because women are allowed the latitude, civility, and respect to explore and articulate their thoughts without judgment or fear. This type of liberation allows me to embrace and benefit from a diversity of thoughts; to see ideas from various points of view, despite differences reaching common ground, by filtering everything through what is pleasing to God. Why, because like all good things, true and authentic empowerment comes from honoring the will of God.

I am a big fan of being authentic and leading a transparent life. Help me understand what you mean by living an authentic life?    

Yes, Jerry, authentic and transparent are two buzz words presently tossed around a lot! Irrespective of the scholarly definition, at the core, this is about living one’s truth, what we know for sure, which can be shaped by our many experiences.

For me, it is when my values and beliefs are compatible with the integrity of my doctrine, actions, and words. It’s about self-awareness, knowing myself at a deep level, accepting my multi-faceted traits, my strengths, and imperfections; having the desire to continuously grow as I reconcile my good, bad and ugly qualities, which are common to all of us. I find that oftentimes, with increasing societal pressure, we lean into what the world prescribed as a success.  Whether to gain wealth, fame, alter our appearance or job aspiration, we can compromise who we are created to be which often leads to self-loathing, and unhappiness.

To justify my point, let’s take a look at the billions in revenue generated from cosmetic industries, fake content, scamming, Ponzi schemes, and the like. You see, in our humanness, our hearts are deceitful, full of pride, and can easily trap us in a state of denial and falseness to elevate ourselves. I am not immune to this pretense, but growing in spiritual maturity and wisdom, I try to be deliberate in not allowing this malignant state to frighten or paralyze me, but to be powered by my dependence on the spirit God graciously places within us.  As I summon the courage to live from a place of acceptance, growth, humility, and inner peace, only then, I can be the best expression of myself, which will be evident to impact others as I attract, influence, and sustain meaningful relationships.

The post Mayple Dorrington: Finding the Meaning of Life appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.