Black History Month is celebrated in February in the United States and Canada, while in the United Kingdom and Ireland it is observed in October.

Four Columns supports Black History Month and empowering women in the community.

Bobby Ray Jones Jr. is a professional basketball player, writer, and director. Jones was drafted by the Minnesota Timberwolves in the 2006 NBA draft. In 2009, he played for the Portland Trail Blazers. He has played professionally in Italy for the last decade. Bobby is presently traveling all over the world with his daughter and has created a vlog, Are We There Yet Dad? I catch up with him and talk about fatherhood.

Bobby, let’s talk about Are We There Yet Dad. How did the project start and why travel with your daughter? Finally, what are you trying to teach through this vlog?

AWTYD? started because I’ve always been creative and loved to travel at an early age. Since Aaliyah was born, I’ve been playing professional basketball and it has kept me away from her 9 months out of the year. When I’m back in the summer, I always make an effort to have adventures set up for us. It started as Instagram posts and stories but it was only a matter of time before I combined the three loves of my life: storytelling, traveling, and my daughter and turn it into a travel vlog. I want to inspire other parents to travel more with their children, no matter domestically or internationally.

What has fatherhood taught you?

Fatherhood has taught me to be even more responsible and not take anything for granted. Unfortunately, I’m not with her mother and so I have learned patience to accept what I can control and not worry about what is not.

Tell me something that you went through, that changed you forever and how did you overcome it?

It’s been two years since I lost my mother to lung cancer. She was the most important figure in my life.  She made many sacrifices to give me the best life possible. Losing her was one of the worst things I have ever experienced. It wasn’t easy, but I have learned to slowly to move on without her. My mothers’ death motivated me, even more, to show my daughter the world and try to be the parent my mother was to me.

Help me understand what happened on the trip from Seattle to Vancouver?

My first time in Vancouver was three years ago with some friends and I had such an amazing time. Going to college at UW, I’ve always heard good things about Vancouver but to finally visit was way overdue. After doing some research, I decided to take my daughter to experience it on a family level. We spent the day visiting Coal Harbour and went zip lining on Grouse Mountain.

What has basketball taught you?

Basketball has taught me so many lessons that apply to the court and in life in general. Having a good work ethic, communication, how to handle adversity, sacrificing, and teamwork. I was blessed to receive a college scholarship, get drafted to the NBA, and play the last 10 seasons in Italy. Basketball gave me an advantage in life but it never defined me.

How important is food, faith, finance, and family to you?

Food, faith, finance, and family are all equally important. As a result, they need to be managed properly. Life is all about balance.  In other words, if you do not find balance, stress and anxiety occur. At one point or another, I have experienced both. I did not have priorities and I’m still learning. However, creating this travel vlog with my daughter helps me tremendously; it’s my free therapy! :-

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What is Father’s Day?

Father’s Day is celebrated all over the world to recognize fatherhood, the importance of fathers in society, and the loving and caring men in your life. March 19 has been the traditional day to celebrate in Catholic Europe since the 16^th century. The Portuguese and Spanish brought this celebration to Latin America. North America later adopted it and celebrates it on the third Sunday of June.

Father’s Day Quotes

A girl’s first true love is her father —Marisol Santiago

Behind every great daughter is a truly amazing father —Unknown

To her, the name of father was another name for love —Fanny Fern

She did not stand alone, but what stood behind her, the most potent moral force in her life, was the love of her father —Harper Lee

Most people buy gifts for their dad for his birthday, Christmas and Father’s Day. Over the years you have bought him shirts, socks, and cologne, taken him for movies, to his favorite steak restaurant, and for a round of golf.

We are still in the COVID crisis so why don’t you do something different.

Here are ten suggestions for this Father’s Day which will not cost you.

Make him a hand-made gift card

Forget about the Hallmark cheesy cards. He is your one and only Father. Make it special. He will appreciate it. Your handmade card is unique and the only one on the planet.

Ask him about his childhood

Show a deeper interest in him and his life. Ask him about his background, his parents, his childhood, and his time at school and university. Go through old photographs. While he talks listen to him.

Thank him for everything

I am sure your father sacrificed at some point in his life to raise you. Tell him verbally how grateful you are to have him in your life. Thank him for everything he has done for you.

Serve him

Give your dad a break by serving him and taking something off his to-do list. Go over and clean his home, his car, declutter the garage, clean the grill, or just hang out with him.

Praise him

This is the time to focus on his strengths. Was he a kind and patient dad? Then let him know.

Play a board game with him

If your dad is into any board game or hobby, show an interest in it by getting involved.

Go for a walk

Father’s Day is in the month of June. The weather is great. Go for a walk with him. Tease him, talk to him, tell him one of your favorite memories of him with you during your childhood.

Make him a playlist

Ask your dad in advance what his music taste is like and create a playlist for him.

Forgive Him

There is a reason I have left this until the end. Some of you have an estranged relationship with your dad. I get it. The third Sunday of June comes and goes without much fanfare. Your dad divorced your mom, he left your family for another woman, he never provided, he was an alcoholic, he abused you or he was never there emotionally for you. The list goes on. You have been on a roller coaster of anger, resentment, depression, low self-esteem, and self-doubt.

Forgiveness is letting go. Let the negative feeling and emotions go. Yes, he has not changed. OK, I get it. If you cannot change something, change your attitude toward it.

Try to find something good in him. Then write a letter, a note, a text, an email or just call him and make peace. It will free you and you will be empowered.

I am going to end with a few verses from a poem called The Power of Forgiveness by Pat A. Fleming.

Some people view forgiveness,
As a virtue for the weak.
An act of Mercy undeserved,
That serves no useful need.

They’re focused on how they’ve been wronged,
And won’t be made the fool again.
So they feel they must avenge themselves,
By refusing to give in.

They will sacrifice their family,
Or forsake a long, time friend.
Do anything they have to do,
To be the winner in the end.

Or perhaps it’s that they can’t resolve,
The depth of all their hurt.
Caused when someone that they’ve trusted,
Left them questioning their worth.

But no matter why the struggle,
Out of pride or out of fear.
Not being able to forgive,
Can cause the loss of ones most dear.

Yes, forgiveness is a virtue,
They even say it is divine.
But more than that it sets you free,
From what weighs you down inside.

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