Dr. Valerie Fitzpatrick is a chiropractor offering gentle chiropractic services to the Greater Toronto Area community. Her practice is centered around Network Spinal Analysis (NSA) approach to health and healing. Network Care is a very gentle therapy that can be helpful with people of all ages, from newborns to the elderly.  Dr. Valerie Fitzpatrick teaches her patients to use a variety of home techniques, including breathing, gentle stretching, and other exercises to support the progress they make in their sessions with her. As chronic tension patterns are shifted, muscles and joints begin to move and respond in new healthy ways. Over time, patients develop new ways of dealing with physical, mental and emotional stress, leading to pain reduction, increased energy and improved sleep patterns. I catch up with her to talk about what is a chiropractor and how they help us lead a healthier life.

Valerie, tell me a little about you, and what made you want to become a chiropractor? 

I think that I have always had an analytical mind and a love for understanding the human body. I have also had a lifelong love of art.  Along the way, I thought of a career in medical illustration, and then spinal cord research, but then came to realize that Chiropractic was what I wanted to do. I had personally experienced the benefits of chiropractic care with occasional wellness treatments during my childhood. Later in my teens, it was my chiropractor who had a significant impact on my life and health. At the age of 16, I nearly died from viral encephalitis, an acute infection of the brain. I had been hospitalized for a long time and had lingering effects from the illness. It was my chiropractor who helped me and gave me lifestyle guidance as I was finding my way back to health. I went on to undergrad studies in Neuroscience and then postgraduate studies in Chiropractic.

Tell us about your practice as a chiropractor? 

I have had a family practice for 23 years, seeing infants to advanced seniors.  Some of my patients are competitive athletes, some are highly sensitive people, some have had multiple accidents or surgeries, some are dealing with autoimmune disorders, some have anxiety disorders and the list goes on.   I initially started practice with conventional chiropractic techniques, but then was introduced to Network Spinal care which I found so personally beneficial.  I began continuing studies in Network care, and I have been using it as my primary method for the past 19 years. I enjoy using the precise low-force adjustments to reduce the tension along their spinal cord, and muscles, and release the fixations along their spine; I especially like the Network emphasis on considering every patient as a whole complex person with a body, mind, and soul – with their own unique history and outlook. 

How do you help patients find a balance around all the anxiety in the 21^st century?

I think the first step in helping someone is taking the time to ask them about their lifelong stressors and traumas, and truly listening. Whether it is abandonment, financial stress, bullying, an eating disorder, divorce, immigration, loss of a job, chronic disability, change of school or work, abuse, or co-dependence – these things can all contribute to a patient’s current health issues. These things can also lead to a state of helplessness or anxiety.

Secondly, by using the Network care techniques I can help people learn, or rather relearn, to breathe fully and deeply again. This can help them switch off the chronic flight-fight-freeze stress response in the autonomic nervous system. Sometimes, I will also teach patients some spinal awareness breathing exercises called Somato Respiratory Integration to help them connect with their body and breath again. When people are more self-aware, they can also be more adaptable to whatever life will throw at them.

With other patients I also talk about expressing healthy anger, setting healthy boundaries, developing attachments to safe people, eating healthy, exercising, and about self-affirmation through pursuing a passion. I can talk more about these topics another time if you’d like.

Talk to me about being a single parent and how you balance being a chiropractor, a business owner, and a single mother?

Well, yes life has not really gone as I planned, but I have learned to grow and stretch myself with each challenge and each stage of life.  I started my chiropractic practice when I was single; at that time, I was able to focus on work, exercise, spiritual growth, and time with friends. A few years later finding myself divorced with a three-year-old daughter while setting up in a new office as a chiropractor definitely changed my priorities and my schedule. I can’t say that I have always had balance in my life, but I have been willing to adapt and willing to grow. There are things that we can control, but so many things we can’t. A child becoming seriously ill, a car accident, a concussion, the hormonal changes of mid-life, a parent in a health crisis; these are just a few examples.  Life is ever-changing, so what works as a balanced schedule at one stage, will not even be possible at another stage.

Personally, my life and work choices have been based on what was best for my daughter and myself, for our physical health as well as our mental and spiritual health. I put my money into quality food as a priority over expensive vacations.  I have dedicated time for friendships that are safe and nurturing. I decided that no matter how busy I am, I will try to ensure that my daughter knows that I am there for her and that home is a safe place, a haven from the world.  Decisions about work location and office hours have also been based on family needs. I make time to get outside for prayer walks with my Creator; that always puts things into perspective for me and keeps life from feeling overwhelming.

Before I was married, I regularly worked out at the gym in solitude, doing weight training and cardio. As a single parent with a young daughter, I couldn’t do that. I learned to exercise at home with a few basic pieces of equipment: resistance bands, a yoga mat, an exercise ball, various dumbbells, and a weighted ball. As my daughter got old enough to be on her own, I found that I could join a gym again, but I realized that I also needed some fun social time. I was starting to feel isolated as a single mom with a solo practice. So instead of joining a gym again, I took different sport and dance classes- lots and lots of classes. That way I met my need for exercise, music, and socialization with other adults.  Now I am back to going to the gym, but I am doing things like boot camp, yoga, and weight-training classes. 

Talk to me about your art and why hobbies and pursuing a passion are important?

As I mentioned earlier, art was one of my first loves, especially pottery and painting.  I did lose connection with my creative side during the years of starting my practice, going through a painful marriage, motherhood, and divorce. When I was in the midst of a particularly difficult time, a few years ago I found art again. It became my therapy.  Art has been a grounding and energizing force in my life again. I no longer paint with a concern about impressing other people with my technical ability. I paint to express my inner self and honor the urge to create.  I have been able to be a part of three art shows now; I have grown from the vulnerability of showing my work, I have felt the deep joy of hearing that someone was moved by my art, and I have felt my self-esteem grow.  I have been able to share my love of art with my daughter, and it has been a bonding activity for us.

Photo Credit: Memories by Moxley

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Parenting has taken on a whole new meaning during Covid 19.

Parents, caregivers, and children across the country are facing challenges and have to constantly pivot during the lockdown.

Focus on creating quality time and make sure your children are connected with family, friends, and neighbors through social media, chats, phones, and email.

Go on walks with your children while maintaining a safe distance.

Listen to understand your children, focus on their positive behavior and be a role model.

I talk to Brett about mental health and parenting.

Brett Ullman travels North America speaking to teens, young adults, leaders, and parents on topics including sexuality, mental health, men, dating, and media. Brett’s seminars engage and challenge attendees to try and connect our ancient faith with the modern culture we live in. Participants are inspired to reflect on what we know, what we believe, and how our faith ought to serve as the lens through which we view and engage in tough conversations in our society today.

Husband to Dawn and father of Bennett and Zoe, Brett and his family make their home in Ajax, Ontario where Brett leads and directs Worlds Apart, a charity focused on empowering individuals to re-align their lives with Biblical core values often muddled by media but central to Christian living.

Brett was a teacher with the Toronto District School Board for 10 years before moving into speaking full-time back in 2005. Brett has a Master’s degree in Evangelism and Leadership from Wheaton Graduate School in Chicago and is also a graduate of the Arrow Leadership Program. He and his family are members of Sanctus Church in Ajax since 2004. I catch up with Brett to talk about mental health and parenting.

Brett, please tell my audience a little about you?

My name is Brett Ullman. My wife (Dawn) and I live in Ajax, Ontario with our 2 teenagers Zoe (16) and Ben (15). I was a teacher with the TDSB (Toronto District School Board) for 10 years before leaving teaching 13 years ago to speak full-time. My speaking had started the year I began teaching and had grown to the point where I was teaching full-time and speaking 45 dates a year across Canada and the US. I speak on current issues from parenting, mental health, dating, media, faith, sex, men, and pornography.

I have a 14-year daughter, what is the best advice you can give me?

There is a quote from the book “Trophy Child” from Ted Cunningham that says “They will not be with me forever so I will prepare them accordingly.” This would be my best advice … prepare your daughter for life, don’t protect her from life. We seem to see an epidemic of over-parenting (which is rooted in fear-based parenting) throughout our society. If 4 years from now she heads away for school she better be ready to deal with everything from good online digital citizenship, dealing with sex and pornography, dealing with money, all aspects of dating, etc.

As a side point, I would say go and tell her that you love her. I am blown away on an ongoing basis by how many young girls tell me their dad has never told them he loved her.

I would also remind her often that you are there for her, not against her. That we as parents want the best for our kids and we are in their corner in life is a huge deal. This also means that we are still for them even when they mess up. Our kids need to know that we love them “forever and always” no matter what happens. This is unconditional love.

In the last decade, we as a society have been talking about mental health. What can we as parents do if our kid is struggling?

If I am in a room of students and/or parents and ask who knows someone who struggles with mental health, there is usually not a hand that does not go up. It is affecting all of us as a modern culture today. As someone who had a breakdown back in 2012 from speaking close to 300 speaking dates a year to pay for my Master’s degree, I was taking down in Chicago I understand first-hand the … what word do I use … struggle that those of us with mental health struggles face within the church today. One of the issues is that we allow people with cancer, diabetes, and other illnesses to follow a path to healing using best practices (doctors, medications, etc) but tell someone struggling with mental health it must be a spiritual issue. I have an entire talk on this called the Walking Wounded. Let me give you the 2 min summary.

If you or your kids are struggling with mental health you need to attack it in 3 ways:

1. Body – go to your family doctor. Get blood work, and a physical done and see if there is anything physically wrong with you. You then need to take care of your body by eating better, sleeping more, and doing daily exercise. Some of the struggles we have are just from our living unsustainable lives. We need to take back control of what we can.
2. Mind – go see a counselor and get some strategies to help you in your journey.
3. Soul – Now this is the one that gets vast debate. I would say that our faith is (for the most part) not the answer in the journey but is the thing that sustains us in the journey no matter the outcome. Talk to pastors, prayer teams, small groups, and other people and allow them into your journey as well.

How are sexuality, media, and dating related?

I put them all under an umbrella I call a Christian Sexual Ethic or a Biblical worldview of healthy sexuality. If you have a correct ethic or worldview on this, it will affect all aspects of how we view sexuality in our lives. This affects what we do in relationships, what we do online, and the type of media we put into our lives.

Give me some practical examples as to how we can connect an ancient faith to our fast-paced modern culture?

I think it starts with a Biblical Worldview. Your Worldview shapes your values, and then your values shape your actions, what you actually do in life. I have been talking about spiritual disciplines for 15 years in my talks. These are the primary spiritual formation building blocks of our faith. Reading, praying, fasting, giving, volunteering, etc. are the foundations of our faith. I just finished a chapter on this for my new book so here is a shortlist of a few books to get you started in this area:

1. Dallas Willard: The Spirit of the Disciplines: Understanding How God Changes Lives
2. Richard J. Foster: Celebration of Discipline: The Path to Spiritual Growth
3. Nathan Foster: The Making of an Ordinary Saint
4. Patrick M. Morley: A Man’s Guide to the Spiritual Disciplines: 12 Habits to Strengthen Your Walk with Christ
5. Ken Shigematsu: God in My Everything: How an Ancient Rhythm Helps Busy People Enjoy God
6. Gary Thomas: Sacred Pathways
7. Ruth R. Barton: Sacred Rhythms: Arranging our lives for Spiritual Transformation

Give me some practical tips on parenting and how to communicate with our kids on taboo topics?

The author Henry Cloud says we need to “Enter the danger.” We need not shy away from the tough stuff but lean into the conversations.

One thing that is really important here is that if you want to be able to speak to your kids on tough topics, you have to have relational influence in their lives. This is not something that you get because you are a parent, it is something you have to earn. When your kids are born, you have positional influence as you are the parent, and they are the kid. As they get older this fades away, and you must have relational influence. You build this day by day as your kids are growing up by being involved in their lives, family dinners, family vacations, family meetings, talks on the couch, game night, movie night, laughing and crying with your kids, encouraging them, etc.

Back to the tough topics use people around you. If you do not know what to say about a particular topic spend some time searching online, talk to your pastors and leaders, talk to parents of kids who are older than yours, read books on this topic, spend time on YouTube and searching Ted talks for great content. My website (www.brettullman.com) is filled with resources like this. My blog has conversations on all of these tough topics and the best links to other resources are all posted.

Talk to my female audience and help them in the dating world and how they need to navigate it?

I might start with a younger audience and say you don’t need to rush into dating in Grade 5-11. It will add a lot of heartaches, and the real question you are going to have to answer is what do you do sexually in these relationships as there is not much else that will be different from a good friend and dating other than that.

The other side of that coin is said to people who are out of High School and challenging them actually to date. We have a problem I see today where people are just not dating.

An important question to ask is not whether they like you, but whether they are worth you’re like.

Let me explain this better. It is great they like you, but does it matter? Are they the right person for you? Do you also like them? Do you have anything in common etc.? You don’t need to date someone just because they like you. You have a choice whether to like them back (in a dating way) or just stay friends.

What are some questions we need to ask ourselves before getting married?

The most viewed blog on my site with over 12,600 views is 80+ questions you need to ask when you are dating. Lots of questions to ask before you ever get engaged and married. Just a few good ones would be:

–    What behavior is appropriate for those who are going to practice sexual abstinence before marriage

–    Are you a non-practicing Christian? What does the Christian faith mean to you?

–    Do you want any? 1? 2? 5?

–    What kind of home do you want your children to grow up in? Values? Rules?

–    What will you do? Where will you live? What comes with the job you have chosen? Travel?

You can use my blog as a start and then add any other questions you have. The point is to ask these before you get serious. If you want to have kids and they do not this is a massive red flag that your relationship might not be right. If they’re going to move to another place in the country and you want to live near your family and friends, it might be another red flag. 

How important is communication in the family?

It is paramount. I am a huge fan of family dinners, family meetings, family vacations, etc. The problem we see today is peer attachment without parental attachment. This is seen in Leonard Sax’s’ book The Collapse of Parenting. Our kids are looking for unconditional love and acceptance from their peers which is just something they are not able to give. Our kids need a strong, secure attachment (bond) with us as parents, only then can they head out into the world and bond with their peers.

We as parents need to make sure that we work at good communication. No technology at the dinner table. Phones are on airplane mode and not on silent. People need to look at each other in the eye when they are talking. This problem of partial attention is getting worse in life.

We also need to have open communication on the expectations of our kids around the house. Clear, agreed on boundaries and expectations for everything from chores to curfew.

How do you balance faith family finance and food in this busy world?

I think the first thought here is just to be conscious that you want to live a balanced, sustainable life. I am presently reading “The Ripple Effect” by Greg Wells. The bi-line is:

Sleep better

Eat better

Move better

Think better

So love this. Many years ago, I heard the analogy of the jar with the different size rocks. If you put in the sand and small stones first the large rocks will not fit in. But, if you put in the large rocks, then small stones, then the sand they will all fit. It is the same in our lives. Plan your life to fit in the large rocks first (exercise, sleep, diet, faith etc.), then put in the smaller stones (shopping, cleaning, volunteering) When all of these things are done you are left to put in the sand of your life (TV, social media, video games, etc).

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Collaboration in health care is defined as health care professionals assuming complementary roles and cooperatively working together, sharing responsibility for problem-solving, and making decisions to formulate and carry out plans for patient care.

I talk to Dr. Shannon Dales owner and chiropractor at Core Focus Health Group. With over 25 years of experience, Shannon believes that lifelong mobility and good health are intrinsically linked.  She helps her clients feel good and move well through chiropractic care, acupuncture, and exercise and leads by example being a National level competitive athlete and busy Mom of 2.

Shannon, welcome to my series on health professionals. Please tell my global audience a little about you?

I have always been a very physical person enjoying exercise and sports.

I was the kid joining every sports team at school.  With my heavy involvement in sport, I experienced my share of injuries.

As a child, I was exposed to the benefits of chiropractic care, as I received treatments for my sport-related injuries.  As I contemplated a career choice much later, it was evident that chiropractic science was a natural fit for me. I have been providing chiropractic care for almost 25 years.

Outside of the office, I am a proud mother of two teenagers.

Define what a chiropractor is and why should people visit you?

A chiropractor deals with the optimal functioning of the nerves, joints, and muscles of the body.  Traditionally, we have been referred to as “back doctors” as the majority of our clients receive chiropractic care with the onset of back or neck pain.

Chiropractic care provides hands-on therapy along with education and exercise to reduce pain and restore function.

Chiropractic care offers an alternative way to manage back pain without the use of opioids.

Talk to me about your practice and the different professions that practice here and the holistic approach to health care?

I am very fortunate to work in an office with many other talented therapists.

Core Focus Health Group provides chiropractic care, physiotherapy, massage therapy, naturopathy, acupuncture plus diagnostic testing services such as genetic and genome testing.

We provide individualized, best evidence care in a collaborative environment.

Clients like having a team to support their needs.

In the 21st century, most of us work and commute long hrs. What can we do to deal with all this sitting that is practically killing us?

We see many clients with the “downtown” back referring to back pain from sitting all day.

Many of us are familiar with the statement “Sitting is the new smoking”.  Our bodies are made for movement, not for sitting for prolonged periods of time.

I encourage all my clients to take regular breaks from sitting all day – get up and walk around!

Some of my clients have also integrated stand-up desks into their work environment. Standing is better than sitting but the movement is still the best.

Regular exercise including cardio, weights, and core strength will help keep the body healthy plus reduce disability and morbidity.

Talk to me about your passion for rowing and how important it is to have a passion and to pursue that?

During my first year providing chiropractic care, one of my clients invited me to paddle with her dragon boat team.  I had never been in a dragon boat but was curious about this sport.  After the first practice, I was hooked.

I loved being outside and enjoyed the physical effects of a good cardio workout, the social interaction, and the mental clarity after this exercise. I have enjoyed the travel benefits of dragon boat competitions both nationally and internationally.  In fact, I have been on the Canadian National Senior A Women’s dragon boat team for many years. I also met my husband through this sport!

What advice do you have for type A’s who want it all?

Balance is key to successfully achieving your goals and supporting your priorities.

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January is here, which means you’ve likely set a New Years’ resolution! for your health goals. It is important to have holistic goals, where you in are sync emotionally, spiritually, mentally, psychologically, and financially.

2020 and 2021 were not easy. However, I am going to leave you with this

Mallory Aldred is a Registered Holistic Nutritionist who provides an individually tailored, non-diet approach to whole-body wellness where she offers a variety of programs centered around real-time education, teamwork, and accountability. She gives a few helpful strategies to stick to your 2022 health objectives and goals.

Is one of your health goals to lose weight?

Is one of your health goals to start packing your lunches?

How about becoming more active?

If so, well done! Here are a few helpful strategies I provide my nutrition clients that may help you stick to your 2020  health goals:

Start small and realistic. Oftentimes, we set goals that are extremely overwhelming which can make it difficult to get started. Instead of promising yourself, you’ll lose 50 pounds this year, focus on dropping 5 pounds for the month of February.

Find an accountability buddy. Having support, whether it be a friend, family member, or professional coach can be super motivating. Aim for daily or weekly check-ins to keep yourself on track. It’s important to ask for help as many of us are unable to get to where we want on our own.

Create space for setbacks. It’s unrealistic to think you’ll go from A to Z overnight. View setbacks as progress towards achieving your goals and use them as motivation rather than defeat. Your “failures” are simply providing you information about what works and what doesn’t.

Finally, don’t expect a quick fix. We are all built differently and have our own unique timelines. Comparing yourself to others can often cause unnecessary disappointment. Be patient, gentle to yourself, and never give up.

If you are looking for professional health and wellness support, you can contact her at malloryaldred@gmail.com

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Nirmala Srivastava founded Sahaja Yoga in 1970. During meditation, seekers experience self-realization. Sahaja is a Sanskrit term consisting of ‘Saha’ is ‘with’ and ‘ja’ is ‘born’. In the Buddhist dictionary, it is ‘innate, denoting the natural presence of enlightenment or purity’.

Dr. Girish Gupta, a management consultant, and practitioner of Sahaja Yoga Meditation talks about its advantages.

Girish, it is a pleasure to have you here. Please tell my global audience a little about you?

I am a management consultant, advising companies on the best ways to manage and operate their business, which includes business strategy, operational techniques, marketing, branding, and skills like time management. I help companies become efficient, increase synergies and increase their footprint by attracting new business.

What did you do for your Ph.D. thesis?

I did my Ph.D. in Marketing Management.  The thesis was – Study on the Industrial Product Marketing Strategy of selected companies in India.

Explain your yoga style and how it is linked to your faith.

I practice Sahaja Yoga Meditation. It is Self-Realization or Actualization. Sahaja Yoga is given by our Divine Mother, Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi who is the founder of Sahaja Yoga. It is practiced in more than 180 countries across the world. For more details, one can visit www.sahajayoga.org. As far as faith, you can see various miracles in your day-to-day life. You also have peace from within.

Is there any special God you worship?

After practicing Sahaja Yoga, you get the knowledge that all Gods are one and equal. They all lead you to take only one path. The path is the truth that one can feel in his/her nervous system.

How do you embrace good and shun evil?

As we practice Sahaja Yoga and get better, we get established in it. At that point, one automatically comes to know through vibration what is evil and good. You act accordingly.

Do you follow any specific diet?

No, I do not follow any specific diet. However, I surely try to follow a disciplined routine. I take Breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.  I make sure there is no interval of more than 4 or 5 hours after each meal. For me, a meal can also be having fruit.

What are the advantages of doing yoga?

People perceive yoga as only physical activity, but actually, yoga means one’s Reunion with all-pervading power which is God’s love flowing everywhere. This reunion can be achieved by self-realization meditation only. I also recommend physical exercise like walking, jogging, cycling, going to the gym, and swimming.

Tell me about Indore and some good restaurants and your favorite dishes.

Indore is located in the western part of Madhya Pradesh. It is a developing B-class city in India. Indore was awarded as best city for cleanliness two years in a row.

Indore is famous for food-loving people with a variety of tastes, different food outlets, and restaurants for their sumptuous meals.  Indore has a food market (Also known as khau gali) that operates from 8 PM to 12 PM. You get a variety of food from Chinese, South Indian, pasta, Jalebi, Kachori, Samosa, etc.

I do not have any specific favorite dish. However, I like Kadhi (made from curd), and butter paneer masala and am fond of sweets. Shreemaya, Sayaji, and TGB are some good restaurants in Indore.

Give me some tips on being a good husband and I will follow up with your wife to see if you are doing these things.

I would strongly recommend trusting each other blindly. Keep quiet when the other person is angry (don’t argue at that point in time). Once when things are normal and cooled down explain your point of view. Love each other without any expectations.

How do you balance faith, food, finance, family, and your career?

Don’t take your office worries home and vice versa. After practicing Sahaja Yoga meditation, you get a work-life balance easily.

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Kylie is a personal trainer, fitness nutritionist specialist, and mother. She is a firm believer in women empowering themselves and to practice intentional living. This intentional living is a blessing that gives you the power to nourish your body and soul and to thrive with self-love, self-worth, and confidence. It will make you radiant in every area of life.

Kylie, tell me something unique and different about you?

I love journaling! I once heard someone say, “Wisdom lies in the questions, not the answers.” It is through journaling that I truly understood how powerful questions are. The prompts in journals always set me off into deep thoughts and reflections, uncovering so many insights and clarity. Journaling has expanded my views and guided me to give thoughts on critical issues and aspects of life that I normally wouldn’t have given much attention to. So, I am constantly on a lookout for good journals!

I love the word empowering and intentional living. Talk to me about how you use it in your practice?

To bring health and nutrition effortlessly into your life, it’s crucial that we look at your life in its entirety rather than just solely nutrition. You are a real person with a career to excel in, family to raise, and passions to pursue. Your life doesn’t revolve just around nutrition. It’s not realistic to focus only on nutrition and neglect other aspects of your life. Merging intentional living with nutrition will allow these two components to sync and flow seamlessly; rather than trying to fit things in haphazardly. Intentional living is integrated through journaling components in the Nutrition Blueprint that my clients will be crafting.

Talking about empowerment, there are many ways to empower oneself. There are also many ways people give up their power unknowingly. In the case of nutrition, some of us change and compromise our lifestyle to adhere to meal plans or diets. We are giving up our rights to live life the way we desire and often end up feeling miserable. Education is one way of empowering yourself to take your power back but there’s a catch.

Knowledge is important but the ability to apply this knowledge safely, effectively and consistently is critical. True empowerment through education is achieved when you combine knowledge with skillsets to implement them. Information alone seldom leads to results. You can buy as many meal plans, fitness plans or courses as you like. If you don’t work on them consistently or if you don’t apply them appropriately, nothing will work.

It’s not my practice to give my clients a meal plan or diet and ask them to “Follow this and don’t deviate.” I equip my clients with essential nutrition knowledge, so they know the reason why they are doing something. They will know the purpose of every step and action plan. It will never be a case of “doing it for the sake of doing” without understanding. I also develop their skillsets to implement nutrition principles so that nutrition flow into their life and is sustainable. These skillsets will also work for other aspects of their life, be it picking up a new hobby or a new habit. Combining knowledge, skills, and clarity, my clients will truly be empowered. They can confidently make adjustments and be flexible about how they integrate nutrition principles into their life.

What kind of a coach are you? I like that you say if someone is looking for a quick fix then you are not the right fit.

I’m a firm believer that it’s not what you do that matters, it’s whether you can do it consistently. No matter how small the action is, if you can do it consistently, you will see results. Most importantly, it will last. Never undermine the power of small, consistent actions. Quick fixes may give you great results, but if it’s not a lifestyle that you can keep up in the long run, the results won’t last. You will go back to where you began and start over again and again. It becomes a vicious cycle that repeats indefinitely. You will be deflated and feel like a total failure even when it’s not exactly your fault. It’s just a fact that quick fixes are not meant to yield long-term sustainable results.

I know life is busy and can be messy, which may be the reason why quick fixes seem so attractive. No matter which stage you are in your health journey, I will meet you where you are. Together we will work with your lifestyle, your schedule, your level of ability, your resources, your environment, your preferences, etc. It’s about integrating things in a harmonious manner rather than forcing nutrition into their life.

Walk me through your struggles with motherhood, what changed and how are you a different person?

I have had several health issues that I needed to deal with postpartum. Juggling motherhood and health issues were tough. I constantly felt guilty when I needed to take some time off for myself. I also felt like a failure when I couldn’t manage the daily responsibilities of taking care of a newborn, housework, etc. I crumbled under the stress. I knew I had to work through those struggles but there was no clear solution.

On a random day when I was observing my child fumbling with her toys and trying to figure out how the toy works, I had a sudden realization. I felt so much joy seeing her explore. Even when she made a mistake, I would still cheer her on. We are so forgiving towards babies who are learning and yet we are so harsh on ourselves when falling short on our own expectations and mistakes. That moment, I knew how I can work things out. That is to act from a place of love.

I stopped picking on my shortcomings. I reminded myself that I am still learning as a first-time mother and patient. I focused on my strengths and what I can do best for my child and my health. I cheered myself on, just like how I cheered my child on. With this approach, my blind spots slowly surfaced. It’s like I’m learning about myself all over again. I’ve re-learned so many values and mind-sets together with my child.

Since then, I see myself as a student of life, always learning and growing. Challenges are lessons that life uses to nurture and teach us. It’s ok to stumble and fall, just like a baby falls while learning to walk. It’s also important to have some form of a self-care routine to help you rest and rejuvenate. It’s only when you are in a great space mentally and physically will you be able to give your 100%. It’s true to say, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.”

We are living fast lives and never slowing down at the expense of our health and nutrition. Give me a more realistic way as to how we can approach this?

In this hectic world, we are constantly multitasking and even operating on auto-pilot mode. It’s no wonder so many of us are burned-out and stopped noticing the little things in life. It may even sound daunting to allocate time for health and nutrition.

Truth is, we don’t need big and extreme actions to improve our health and nutrition.

Remember we discussed small consistent actions earlier on? Here’s how you can approach it:

1. Decide on an area you would like to improve on or a goal you would like to achieve.
2. List down actions that you think will help you in reaching that goal.
3. Pick one action you are confident in implementing successfully.
4. Ask yourself if the action is small enough to be acted on consistently on a daily basis.
   1. If yes, decide how exactly you are going to do it and then do it!
   2. If no, think about how you can break that action down into smaller steps that can be acted on consistently every day.
5. Once you feel comfortable and are able to act on this action consistently, you can repeat the process to select another action.

The key is to make that step small, easy and quick to do. It may be as simple as drinking one extra glass of water every day or doing a 5 minutes’ stretch every morning. As long as you can do it consistently, you are doing great! You can download the cheat sheet here for quick reference.

If I hire you as a coach, can I go to Mcdonalds, have a coke, and eat ice cream?

Yes, you can! In fact, McDonald’s’ is my favorite fast-food chain. I love their Fillet-O-Fish burger, French fries, and Hot Fudge Sundae! Adhering to any particular diet or cutting out any food category is not necessary unless it is due to a medical condition or required by your medical doctor. There’s no “bad” or “good” food. It’s how we eat and how much we eat that matters. In excessive quantity, even beneficial nutrients like Vitamin A can become toxic.

Talk to me about the city you live in. I want to know the food scene and the amazing restaurants and why should we visit?

I’m from the sunny island of Singapore! It’s summer all year round over here. If you love the sun and beach, our island is the perfect travel destination.

Food Centres are where the locals usually go for our daily meals. There’s a wide range of tasty food selection, all at affordable prices. The best part is you can enjoy Michelin Starred food at the Food Centres without breaking the bank! Tian Tian Hainanese Chicken Rice is possibly the most famous chicken rice in Singapore. Its flagship stall is at Maxwell Food Centre. American celebrity chef Anthony Bourdain once commented that the rice from Tian Tian is exceptionally fragrant, flavorsome, and is delicious on its own. There was an exciting “Hawker Heroes Challenge” in 2013 which Gordon Ramsay took part in and lost out to Tian Tian. So be sure to try Tian Tian Hainanese Chicken Rice when you visit Singapore!

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Ricardo Lopes is an award-winning author, speaker, trainer, and coach at Advanced Leadership. Advanced Leadership is a creative and enthusiastic group that’s passionate about empowering businesses, and the people in them, to meet with greater success. It lends expertise and support in communications, training, employee engagement, and performance. In essence, it helps organizations, and the people in them, better communicate, collaborate, and generate extraordinary results, both within the organization and with their customers.  Ricardo has held several communications, training and development, and national sales development roles generating perennial record sales performances over multiple decades. Ricardo has coaching, speaking, and training accreditation from The John C. Maxwell Team and licensed access to its training materials. John C. Maxwell is a many time over best-selling author and is recognized internationally as one of the world’s top leadership and management development experts. Ricardo talks about coaching and how it helps improve performance.

Ricardo please tell me a little about you?

I’m a coach, speaker, and trainer at Advanced Leadership. We’re a learning and performance company that empowers organizations and the people in them, to better communicate, collaborate, and generate extraordinary results – with their peers, customers, and the teams they’re privileged to lead.  I’ve worked for almost 30 years in the business and corporate worlds, contributing in several roles such as a national business development coach and communications specialist more recently, and as a sales manager, sales officer trainer, and communication consultant, etc. prior to that.

How do you help executives increase their unique value proposition?

I work with individuals to identify the strengths that make them unique and help them play to them.  No one does you as well as you do you.  When you contribute to areas of strength, results come more naturally to you and you can accomplish far more in that area than someone who’s struggling or not engaged in the task at hand. The trick is to challenge yourself continually, by applying those strengths to new challenges, to ensure you keep growing.  

How important is it for an executive to communicate effectively?

I can’t think of anything MORE important.  But let’s be clear about something, according to the Mehrabian’s 7-38-55 Rule of Personal Communication, words only make up 7% of any message. Voice tonality and body language contribute 38% and 55%, respectively, to the intended meaning of a message.  This is why you can watch two people relay the same request with great variation in how people respond.  There are a number of leadership skills that executives need to develop to better influence, inspire, and generate results.  These are the soft skills that are mandatory and are very accurate predictors of how far any leader will go. No one cares how smart you are, the question is, do you have the leadership skills to influence, inspire, and generate results with a group of uniquely skilled individuals around you?

Is it important to get a little deeper when networking or should we just get the business card?

Less is more.  Meet with fewer people, get to know them, and build trust.  We do business with and create business opportunities for, people we know, like, and trust.  You can have the greatest skills or widget to sell, but if you fail to develop that connection, your business card will meet with someone’s wastepaper basket.  I might be showing my age but I love business cards.  I think they say something about a person.  I like to write two or three things that make that person unique right on the card when I get home and save them. You can only discover that information after investing some time with them. I organize them by groups of people I affiliate with and like to flip through them before I attend an event.  Even with the best of intentions, it’s hard to remember every detail when you meet so many people.  It takes a little bit of effort to flip through these mini cue cards, but the reward is seeing the smile of appreciation on that person’s face when you’ve remembered them and made them feel special.

How important is it for an executive to have balance in their lives?

Very Important. Balance brings a diversity of experience and thought that makes you more valuable to the organization. Balance makes sure you have the energy to endure the crunch. Balance ensures you are clear about your ‘why’.  When you clearly identify what you value outside of work, and allow yourself to participate in those activities or the lives of others, they become inspirations.  They help you find the last bit of gas in the tank that you need, to do what you must, in order to provide the means to continue to enjoy those moments outside of work.

You were in financial services for more than two decades give me some personal advice on finance?

First save, save, save.  Deduct right off your paycheck and learn to live within what’s left.

Second, there’s a great little button on most income tax software, “How much can I borrow such that my tax refund will pay off the loan”.  Now take your refund and pay off the loan you just took to grow your savings.  Let’s say you borrowed five grand and deposited it to your RRSP savings, now you have five grand plus all the growth it’s going to generate between now and the day in retirement when you take it out. All this, for what it cost you in nominal interest charges incurred from the day you borrowed and the day your tax refund was applied against the loan.

How is your coaching unique and helps executives feeling more empowered?

I love that word! If I could describe what we do in three words, it would be “Authentically you, empowered”. I would say my approach to coaching draws a clear line between coaching and mentoring.  They are not one and the same.  It’s troubling to watch pairings of individuals where the expectation is that a poor millennial is supposed to somehow follow, and start emulating, a decorated baby boomer or GenX for example.  I’ve met with success in leadership positions driving sales etc., but it would be a less productive coaching session if I tried to grow a mini-me.  What worked for me played to my strengths and worked in a time and place.  Even if I executed exactly as I did some years ago, the dynamics and circumstances could have changed and hence the same approach, by the same person, executed the same way, isn’t guaranteed to work.  I encourage clients to identify their strengths and play to them, this generates small and large wins that build confidence and momentum.

One other unique aspect I would say is addressing belief paradigms and the battle between the conscious and unconscious mind.  The unconscious is supposed to protect us and keep us safe from the unknown or re-experiencing something that put us in harm’s way.  Sometimes, those belief paradigms serve us well, other times they’re holding us back, and we need someone outside our head to encourage us to push past them. Once we’ve pushed past them and succeed, our subconscious accepts a new normal and will no longer generate the very real physical manifestation of pain, anxiety, etc. in its attempts to discourage us from going for it!

What other value do you bring to help authentically empower others?

I like to describe our company as a passionate and enthusiastic bunch who enjoy empowering organizations and the people in them, to meet with greater success.  How we help, is by lending support and expertise in four key areas; communications, training, employee engagement, and performance.  What we do essentially is to help organizations and the people in them better communicate, collaborate, and generate extraordinary results, both within the organization and with their customers.  As an example, to kick off the new year in 2019, we’re doing training for entrepreneurs and small business that is open to the general public.  We’re helping them craft messages to effectively promote their business in public and close the sale while building their confidence. Many wonderful people are great artisans, service people, or craftspeople, but they are not salespeople and may never be. When you get big enough, you can pass on promoting your business in public and closing the sale of your widget or book to someone else. Until then, you need to get it done yourself, or risk being one of 50% of businesses who fail within the first five years. Often, the failure has nothing to do with the service or product they provide, the challenge is their inability to sell it.  It’s also heart-wrenching to meet a perennial networker whose own inner circle is hard-pressed to describe what that person does!  Even with the best intentions, their inner circle doesn’t know how to promote their fellow networker because they don’t have clear messaging regarding just what they do or sell.  Our event will empower these folks to conquer their fear of public speaking, promote their business and close the sale. Together we’ll craft engaging value propositions, elevator speeches, and on stage / public presentations in a 3-day over 4-weeks experiential learning workshop.

How do you balance food, faith, finance, and family in the 21st century?

Balance to me means you acknowledge the importance of different aspects of a full, and well-functioning life.  That involves setting goals and executing them in each area.  Food is your body’s enricher.  Garbage in, garbage out. Plan and do the work to eat well.  Faith, if you’re blessed with it, will help you better appreciate you’re a spiritual being having a human experience, not the other way around.  That said, take care of your body such that you have a place to carry your inner being, while having the strength and wellness to do, and experience, all that you can on this journey.  Finance is an enabler; it’s not the most important thing in one’s life, but it’s right up there next to oxygen! Family love you, often unconditionally.  It’s hard to find a stronger set of raving fans.  Schedule time together, even if it’s the most mundane “I drive you to x event”, and “mom drives you to y event”.  Put down the smartphone and talk to each other, be present.  Schedule couple time/family time with as much commitment as you would the most important thing you have to do because it is.

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Heather Donohue is a Certified Holistic Nutritionist passionate about teaching busy women how to create a healthy routine and nutrition that fits their lifestyle. Heather solves common concerns such as low energy levels, brain fog, weight gain, moodiness, bloating, and embarrassing excess gas through nutrition. She is a ‘busy empty-nester wife, who loves to cook, eat, and live life.’ The thing I like about her is that ‘having a healthy lifestyle doesn’t mean tough restrictions. It is about balance and learning new ways to get and stay healthy.’

I believe in a holistic and balanced approach to life. The older I get, I am convinced the mental, spiritual, physical, psychological, and emotional parts of our life have to be aligned properly. You can work in one area but if you do not focus on other aspects, the body does not perform at its optimum. Nutrition is so important to us and that is what I talk to Heather about.

Heather, help me understand what is holistic nutrition?

To understand holistic nutrition, you first have to understand the current medical system in the United States. When we go to a doctor, we select a specialist. We have cardiologists for heart health and disease. We go to gastroenterologists for digestive tract issues. We go to cancer specialists for specific parts of our bodies. Our medical system views the body in parts. When treating one part, medical doctors do not think about how it affects other parts. This is the foundation of holistic nutrition. Practitioners of holistic nutrition think about the entire body, including the mind and the soul. We know that if we are focusing on one area of the body, such as gut health, it will provide great benefits to the entire body, mind, and spirit. It can also cause distress in other parts of the body if we are using treatment methods that do not agree with the body. For example, if a person wants to go on a plant-based diet but is following a low sodium diet for heart health. There is a conflict in the two diets because plant-based eating results in a lot of potassium going into the body. If the potassium sodium ratio in the diet is not 2:1, the person could have heart palpitations.

Walk me through your passion for helping busy women? How do you do it?

There is a perception that focusing on health is hard. It can’t fit into our routines. This is just not true! When I start working with a client, I don’t just ask about the physical symptoms they have or are trying to prevent. I ask about what is going on in their lives. Do they have children? Do they work? Own a business? Married or divorced? Taking care of older parents? Empty nesters? Learning about their lives helps me identify tactics that work for them. For example, I worked with a woman in her late 60’s who was trying to lose weight. Most people think that losing weight is about diet, making food villains, and exercise. While those components help, one other reason people can’t lose weight is they are holding onto an emotional trauma. Two years ago, she lost her brother-in-law. She became very involved in helping her sister take care of all those things you have to take care of when a spouse dies. Once she felt that her sister was in a good place, she started to step back and let her sister get adjusted to her new normal. My client was holding onto what we call heart pain, which was keeping the weight on. As we discussed the situation, she told me she has a friend that performs reiki massages. Her friend was always telling her she should try it. It was the perfect release for her heart! She is down about 30 pounds now.

Can you please break it down in detail for me about dietary supplements, movement, eating organic plant-based foods, practicing self-care, and indulging smartly?

First, I am passionate about dietary supplements. I worked in the supplement industry for 8 years and take a lot of supplements every day. In spite of what people think, supplements are regulated by the FDA and there are clinical studies showing the efficacy of supplements. The problem becomes that there are bad actors. The bad actors may claim to heal a specific condition or create a formula that is not up to label claim. They usually are small manufacturers or individuals having an unreputable company making the product for them. Depending on the health situation, specific supplements can bring the body back into balance. For example, if a person has Chron’s disease, they need to be taking Saccharomyces Boulardii, which has been studied specifically to alleviate Chron’s disease symptoms. Here is a link to an NIH study. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/10961730/

I’ve used Saccharomyces Boulardii as part of a protocol for a client and she had great results. Of course, all bodies are different so results will vary.

Movement is very important for the body. Our bodies were not meant to sit in cars or at desks for 8 to 12 hours a day. Our bodies want to be in motion. When we move our bodies, our internal systems benefit. One example, the abdomen becomes stronger which makes bowel movements easier. Also, stress is reduced which helps our immune system get stronger. Movement allows our heart to work a little harder helping to reduce cardiovascular disease. The movement also helps fight obesity which leads to a host of diseases such as diabetes and heart disease. The movement does not mean you have to belong to an expensive gym, hire a trainer, or take expensive classes. The most underrated form of exercise is walking! A brisk walk for 30 minutes, 5 days a week can be enough to keep a person healthy. Of course, if someone has an underlying medical condition, they need to check with their doctor to ensure they can pursue some form of movement. The key to staying motivated is to find something you like to do. That will keep you doing it.

Eating organic plant-based foods is key for a healthy body. It is all about pesticide and chemical avoidance. Foods grown with pesticides become endocrine disrupters in the body. That means the body views the chemicals as an enemy and tries to fight them. When the body is fighting chemicals, it gets tired and cannot focus on keeping the body in balance. Being mostly plant-based helps to feed the body nutrients it needs in a very simple way. The closer to the original form of food, such as a baked or boiled potato, the more nutrients it will have. The further away from the original form of food, such as instant mashed potatoes in a box, the fewer nutrients and more chemicals it will have. Being plant-based does not mean a person has to give up meat, chicken, or fish! I am plant-based 4 days a week. The other 3 days I will eat meat, chicken or fish. When I do eat meat, I buy the best quality I can afford. Wild-caught fish. Organic beef and chicken. I also make the meat, chicken, or fish, the smallest portion on my plate. I fill the plate with vegetables and whole grains.

Self-care is critical for mental health. In order to take care of others, we have to be calm and rational. We have to be able to deal with others’ negative energy, especially right now amid the pandemic and protests. It is very draining. Self-care means different things to different people. Meditation, journaling, sitting in a sauna, taking a walk, sitting in the sun for 15 minutes, reading a book, taking a bath – there is no wrong way to do it. It just needs to be something where a person can take time to enjoy themselves.

Indulgent – no one is perfect 100% of the time! Indulging smartly means simply, once a client gets their body back to balance, indulging once or twice a month. It’s actually really interesting because I do it myself. I will eat something deep-fried or some ice cream and I can immediately recognize that what I thought was going to be an indulgent meal or snack, actually made me feel not so good. But I do it anyway! That is human nature. When our bodies get back to balance, we can tell how indulgent foods don’t agree with us! After being in balance for years, people tend to change what indulgent treats means to them.

You have been helping women for a while. What have you learned through the process? Are women hard on themselves?

The biggest issue in working with anyone to reclaim their health is a lack of confidence that they can do it! Most people don’t have faith in their ability to make meaningful changes in their life. That is why it is so important that actions to improve their health are provided in small steps, that fit their lifestyle and allow them to see improvements quickly. That keeps them motivated to keep following and building on their new routine.

What does women empowerment mean to you? In your opinion how can women empower themselves?

Women empowerment means we are able to speak our minds and be respected for our opinions. Being educated on topics we are passionate about is how women can empower themselves. Simply taking an online class or learning a new skill via YouTube. Education has always been the core of being empowered. Education has been the key to my success. It doesn’t have to be formal. We can learn from others just by being observant or having conversations with them.

Talk to me a little about your city and the food scene?

I live in a relatively small town in NJ, about 85,000 residents. The food scene is heavily fast food and casual, fast food! We rarely eat out because we don’t like that kind of food. We’d rather have a nice meal with quality ingredients. We have to travel out of our town for food like that! But this is a great point. To live a healthy plant-based lifestyle, I often can’t shop at just one store in my town. I have to go to multiple because each carries a different variety of organic foods. But it is worth it to me so I can maintain my health as long as possible. Sometimes for our health to improve, changes in routine must happen over time.

We can lead healthy lives but emotionally and mentally we need to be strong and healthy also.

How important is mental health in our lives?

Mental health is a top priority for any overall health and wellness plan. Anxiety and stress are awful to our bodies. It weakens our immune system making us more susceptible to colds, viruses, and flu. Plus, over the long term, poor mental health contributes to promoting illness and disease in the body. Mental health afflicts more and more people in the United States. I see people constantly struggling with mental health issues on social media.

Our gut health is key to reducing mental health issues, not pharmaceuticals. Don’t get me wrong. Pharmaceuticals have their place as a temporary way to get back to normal. The problem is we have been trained that we need them to live. That is a very different message versus making short term progress. There are a lot of studies about how the gut has direct contact with our emotions and our brain. There are pathways that are in constant communication between the gut and the brain. Food can either make you feel good or bad because 90% of the serotonin (the happy hormone) in our bodies is produced by our gut!

Eating processed foods promotes feelings of sadness, worry, anger, feeling worthless, anxiety, panic, fear, and unable to do anything right, just to name a few. But eating organic, plant-based foods helps your brain to heal,  to be more positive,  to connect with our emotions. It makes it easier for us to have a positive outlook and know that today we will do our best. Today we will be able to laugh and feel good about our future. We will be joyful and know that life is going to be kind to us now and in the future. Food is medicine in so many ways!

Photo Credit: LikeMeat

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Entrepreneurship is about creating value. It is about taking risks and bootstrapping. It is the framework for designing, launching, and running a new business. The creator of this business is called an entrepreneur. The entrepreneur has to make business decisions and deal with government policies, market demand, and economic crises. The entrepreneur has to focus on her core competence and create a competitive advantage to increase the footprint.

The entrepreneur acts on an idea and manages and oversees the launch and growth of her business. The entrepreneur has to develop a business plan, go alone or hire staff, work within her financial and material resources, look at her own skill sets, be a dynamic leader, see her attitude to risk, and take responsibility for failure or success.

Four Columns loves entrepreneurs who take risks, think outside the box, meet the needs of the market, are agile, and go above and beyond to surpass the expectations of the customer.

Jesselina started Pad2Go, Muskan Khanna owns a boutique tea store, Ashley is starting a beauty business, Paula Ariya owns a beauty salon, Mallory Aldred owns a food consulting business, and Anu Bidani is starting STEM, one of the fastest tech educational firms in North America. These women are game-changers on the cutting edge in their field, empowering women and making a difference in society.

From my perspective, too many entrepreneurs get so focused that they sacrifice many other important areas of their lives. Michelle runs The Balanced CEO, which is a place for entrepreneurs to become their best selves while growing their business. Michelle empowers you to create a strong mind, body, and soul connection so you can develop a positive mindset and focus on productivity while building consistent habits and routines, reduce stress, balance your well-being, and build a successful business with purpose.

Michelle talks about life, gratitude, self-reflection, and having balance in our lives.

Michelle, I am looking forward to interviewing you as we have so much in common. Tell me a little about you?

Thank you so much for interviewing me, Jerry! I was born and raised on a very small island known as St.Thomas, United States Virgin Islands. My mom is from Trinidad and my dad was from New York. Since 2014, I have been living in the states first in Virginia and now I am living in Maryland. I went to college to become a Pastry Chef and worked in that field for a while but later quit and started working in insurance and soon realized that I wanted nothing more but to become my own boss.

I am a big believer in having balance in your life. Walk me through how you came up with The Balanced CEO?

After being self-employed for a few years now I noticed that as much as I was passionate about building a successful business and doing it all, I quickly became overwhelmed and burnt out causing a toll on my health.

I was so focused on growing my business that I wasn’t paying attention to taking care of myself, my well-being, and other areas of my life.  

Once I started taking care of myself first I have become happier and healthier and able to function better, become more creative, and able to get through my to-do list a lot easier causing my business to grow faster.

Being an entrepreneur is one of the most rewarding jobs out there and to succeed starts with YOU. The more that we show love and care for our mind, body, and soul the more we can achieve because it will come from a place of balance. 

We aren’t here to just work but also to find the right balance to enjoy other things in life.

I know from personal experience that it is hard creating a balance between life and business but it is possible!

So, I created The Balanced CEO to provide inspiration, resources, tools, and tips to help entrepreneurs, bloggers, and content creators manage their mind, take care of themselves, become less overwhelmed, more productive, and become the best version of themselves all while building your dream business.

We all have so much potential within us and we can create the life we deserve but it all starts with ourselves.

At The Balanced CEO, it is all about implementing balance in the lives of us entrepreneurs who try to do it all.

Before I got married I did not know how to spell gratitude. I practice it daily. Your best practice is to practice gratitude daily. Talk to me about why and the after-effects?

I believe that there is ALWAYS something to be thankful for. No matter how hard your life is at the moment there is always a little something that you should be thankful for whether it is you have a warm place to live in, clothes on your back, food to eat, or waking up to see another day. People often focus on what they don’t have vs. what they do have. I believe that when times are tough and you shift your mindset to focus on what you do have you will become happy and fulfilled. It’s all about being mindful and appreciating life and everything it has to offer.

Balancing your mind, body, and soul is not easy. How did you achieve this at such an early stage in your life? For me, it has taken a lot of introspection?

This is something I am actually still working on and I do believe that we are always working on balancing our mind, body, and soul as the journeys in our life change.

I take it one day at a time now by creating habits and routines that help balance out my day. 

For my morning routine, I spend a few hours taking care of myself, mind, body, and soul first before jumping into work. I never used to do this and it has changed my life completely. I journal, read, workout, and make myself a healthy breakfast. My morning routine has helped me to become motivated and has given me the energy to start my workday with a positive attitude.

In the evening time, I “clock out” of work and I practice yoga then spend time with my husband. 

I have learned to appreciate the time I have in the day and not take it for granted but instead use my time wisely and create a work-life balance.

I have been a giver all my life without boundaries. However, it hurt me. Talk to me about loving ourselves, cutting negative relationships, and letting go of toxicity in our lives?

It is so important to love ourselves first, many people think it is selfish but it is 100% not selfish. To be full of bliss and balanced, we need to be happy with ourselves. In order, to help others and take care of others we have to take care of ourselves first. Learning to say no, cutting off negative relationships, or removing ourselves from any kind of negative environment will seem hard at first. You will feel guilty and your emotions will get the best of you. But, once you see how positively it impacts your mind and your life, it will get easier. At the end of the day, we have to live with ourselves no one else. So, choose to live it the way you want. Negative relationships bring you down and cause you to be negative as well putting a damper on your mind and your goals. You should always surround yourself with positive people. Why go through life being negative and living miserably?

I have met so many entrepreneurs who are successful financially but have messed up personal lives. Help me understand how does balance look like in their lives?

Money is important because we need it to survive and lots of us just want to be financially free. But, what is more, important is the people in our lives, our relationships, and our self-care. The money will always come and go but our family and friends, unfortunately, don’t live forever and we should never take that for granted. These entrepreneurs probably spent 24/7 working and even when they were with their families, work probably came first. There is always a way to have a work-life balance. You just have to figure out what works for you and your life.

Self-reflection is an amazing habit as long as it is done to see how you can help other people by becoming better… please explain?

Self-reflection is such a great way to slow down, practice self-care, and live in the present moment. Sometimes we get so caught up in our day-to-day and it’s like we are on autopilot. It causes us to become frustrated like we aren’t seeing any progress on our goals. But, if we take the time to reflect by journaling, looking at past pictures, or just meditating it will help us to reflect on our mistakes, see how far we come and if our daily tasks are aligned with our goals. Practicing self-reflection consistently will help us gain more clarity and peace in our lives.

In your opinion do we have a healthy relationship with social media? Does the dopamine effect of likes, shares, pins, and comments make it artificial, and is it healthy?

I believe that a lot of us don’t have healthy relationships with social media. Especially as entrepreneurs we are obsessing over our metrics (likes, share, engagement, etc).  And we tend to compare ourselves to others causing us to be less productive and strive for perfection. When perfection actually does not exist. We shouldn’t compare ourselves because all our journeys are different. We are all unique and can share our messages differently. We need to rewire our brains to learn to use social media as a tool to connect not compare.

Can anyone become an entrepreneur? Should they do a self-analysis and see if they have the skill sets?

I believe anyone can become what they want to be if they put their mind to it. But, entrepreneurship might not be for everyone. The long hours, the risk, and the mindset is hard. I know some people who never want to be an entrepreneur because they like structure and the stability of having a paycheck. So, yes a self-analysis is definitely a good idea. But, if you are determined to become an entrepreneur and realize you don’t have any skills, just learn. As entrepreneurs, we are constantly learning new skills as we wear many hats in the business. So, if you set your mind to something you can do it.

You are a woman after my own heart. You like food and carbs. Talk to me about your city where you live and the food scene?

I currently live in Maryland and I am near the DMV area (DC, Maryland, Virginia). There are so much different foods and cultures here and I love it. Being from the Caribbean it’s nice to have a lot of different foods that remind me of home. Also, I love the fact that I can find lots of healthy restaurants.

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What is the meaning of life?

I have known Mayple Dorrington since I started my career at Scotia Bank. Mayple was Director, Communications and Change Management at Scotia Bank.  Mayple recently wrote a book called Finding: The Oasis in my Soul. It is a journal, an encouraging journey through the spectrum of real-life experiences of trials and triumphs. As you read her book, you can relate to it. You will see a reflection of your own experiences. The book asks some relevant questions about having an empty void within us, do we have doubts about our gifts, weaknesses,  our purpose, and our identity?

I am a big fan of gratitude, and this book challenges my thinking to transform my mind and to get a deeper conviction of love and purpose in my life. If you are struggling with insecurity, fear, uncertainty, or anxiety, get the book, become empowered, lead an authentic life, and transform yourself into what you are intended to be.  This is the first of a two-part interview.

Mayple, a true honor to have you talk to four columns. Tell my audience a little bit about you?

Jerry, firstly I want to thank you for the opportunity to participate in your blog. I’m deeply honored to be having this dialogue with you and your audience.

Born on the beautiful island of Jamaica I grew up in a happy, loving family cushioned in a viable business environment.   The business became a casualty following the aftermath of the 1970s economic downturn in my country and the outcome later triggered my family’s immigration to another beautiful country, Canada. With a business mindset, I later pursued that area of study and embarked on an amazing career in the financial industry that spanned 3 continents with direct access to over 27 countries.  Alongside my banking occupation of choice, I am an author and a motivational speaker.  My professional designations include an economist, chartered banker, high school teacher and a personal financial planner.

I am a devout Christian who anchored my beliefs, decisions, and hope in the power of the risen Jesus Christ.  With my teaching discipline, I constantly volunteer my skills for mentoring and coaching and by my mentees’ own admission, I have the knack to identify, develop and empower countless persons in reaching their personal goals.

Having said that, my passion is primarily centered around the relationships I forged working with people drawn from across the globe and living in the most multicultural city in the world. Through these experiences, I learned how to coexist with people, understand their behaviors, outlook, and preferences, and dispense greater tolerance, acceptance, and compassion in helping others. An area that keeps me growing is to intentionally embrace the power of mindfulness. This awareness constantly provokes and inspires me to challenge my mind, peel away layers of obscurity, to look deeper and wider for insights toward the path in finding truths.

Finding: The oasis in my soul. It is an intense name for a book. How did the book come about? What is the main message? Who is the audience? What is unique and different about the message?  

Jerry, there’s lots to unpack here… yes,  the name is indeed intense. You may notice I deliberately said “Finding” and not “Find” or “Found” because it’s a journey, not a destination. My book chronicles an inspiring journey through the lens of my real-life experiences of trials and triumphs and using what I have been through to come to a place of what I now know for sure.

Strangely the genesis of my book was drawn from my wanderlust nature.  Traveling to many countries, living amongst diverse nationalities, and conversing with numerous people from different walks of life, age, and outlook; hearing their stories, the many dreams realized, the hardships overcame, and bouncing back from mistakes, I realized how much we all have in common.

I wrote the book to expose our human commonality and to express how I cultivate the power to confront and stare down the debilitating state of uncertainty, worry, and fear.  How like myself, we can overcome our shortcomings and elevate our talents and self-worth to be the best.

During my speaking engagements, after sharing my story, which is often intertwined with slices from the lives of many others, seeing the visceral reaction of agreement from my diverse audience, I validated how we all want to feel valued, loved, and accepted. The main point is to have a positive self-image of not who I am, but who God intended me to be.  How I claim truth and confidence from the backdrop of biblical examples of trust, faith, and obedience.  Each chapter illustrates a meaningful life experience, which is brutally frank about what I learned, the impact of the practical application, and my spiritual transformation. Each reader will walk away with valuable nuggets to build their confidence and self-worth.

My core objective and the key message are to challenge the readers’ thinking and arouse a sense of gratitude, wonder, and introspection, allowing us to draw from an ever-renewing Oasis where we can replace worry, fear, and doubt with the joyful assurance of God’s promises and faithfulness.

The feedback has been overwhelmingly positive that this is exactly the response it evokes. I painted a graphic picture of my experiences, whether illness, a hero to zero career moves, friendship betrayal, family choices, to be transformed, to come to a place of rest, not a place of stop, but resting on the dependence and assurance of God’s love while seeking new adventures to spread my wings.  The overarching message may not be unique or different, but it’s worth reinforcing to keep us building self-awareness on how we can draw inspiration and hope from seemingly common encounters and events in our lives. It about seeing and acknowledging God’s love and handiwork in all aspects of our lives.

Explain to me what does women’s empowerment means to you?    

Empowerment is about acting on my own volition, having options, having the autonomy to make choices.  Really, Jerry, it’s to emancipate me from the sense of powerlessness, to become self-determined, being able to take charge of my life by owning my decisions, circumstances, hopes, and dreams, growing stronger, wiser, and more confident.

Having said that, for me, I do not believe women’s empowerment is independent of the influence of men. I strongly believe men and women were created with different, but complementary traits. When working in unity, we unleash the freedom to both look outward, naturally curious in opening ourselves to the universe, feeling supported to take risks, and to reimagine possibilities based on the imagery of how to think, rather than the limitation of what to think.

I have countless examples of gender neutrality during brainstorming, problem-solving, and trouble-shooting that delivered the optimum results, mainly because women are allowed the latitude, civility, and respect to explore and articulate their thoughts without judgment or fear. This type of liberation allows me to embrace and benefit from a diversity of thoughts; to see ideas from various points of view, despite differences reaching common ground, by filtering everything through what is pleasing to God. Why, because like all good things, true and authentic empowerment comes from honoring the will of God.

I am a big fan of being authentic and leading a transparent life. Help me understand what you mean by living an authentic life?    

Yes, Jerry, authentic and transparent are two buzz words presently tossed around a lot! Irrespective of the scholarly definition, at the core, this is about living one’s truth, what we know for sure, which can be shaped by our many experiences.

For me, it is when my values and beliefs are compatible with the integrity of my doctrine, actions, and words. It’s about self-awareness, knowing myself at a deep level, accepting my multi-faceted traits, my strengths, and imperfections; having the desire to continuously grow as I reconcile my good, bad and ugly qualities, which are common to all of us. I find that oftentimes, with increasing societal pressure, we lean into what the world prescribed as a success.  Whether to gain wealth, fame, alter our appearance or job aspiration, we can compromise who we are created to be which often leads to self-loathing, and unhappiness.

To justify my point, let’s take a look at the billions in revenue generated from cosmetic industries, fake content, scamming, Ponzi schemes, and the like. You see, in our humanness, our hearts are deceitful, full of pride, and can easily trap us in a state of denial and falseness to elevate ourselves. I am not immune to this pretense, but growing in spiritual maturity and wisdom, I try to be deliberate in not allowing this malignant state to frighten or paralyze me, but to be powered by my dependence on the spirit God graciously places within us.  As I summon the courage to live from a place of acceptance, growth, humility, and inner peace, only then, I can be the best expression of myself, which will be evident to impact others as I attract, influence, and sustain meaningful relationships.

The post Mayple Dorrington: Finding the Meaning of Life appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.