Brian McAuley is a senior sales executive in the IT industry.  I sit down with him to get some advice on how to be successful in sales.

Brian, please tell my audience a little about you?

I’m a husband of Jenn for over 23 years, and a father to 3 boys ranging from 12 to 20. I’m active in my community by serving at my local church.  I chair the board at the Alzheimer’s Society of Durham Region, and serve as a director of another charity board.

Professionally I’m a technology sales leader with over 20 years of experience who has enjoyed selling industry and technology solutions at the boardroom level across various verticals. I try to maintain a reputation as a collaborative leader who builds trust with clients, partners, and colleagues. I’ve served in various senior business development and management roles at IBM for over 12 years, led teams at Bell Canada, completed the sales turnaround in a software company specializing in healthcare solutions, as well as took a sabbatical from corporate to re-focus a not-for-profit.

What are some of the qualities one needs to have to be great at sales?

First off, you need to be a good listener.  Far too many salespeople fill the air with their own talking, but the sales profession is all about understanding needs. Customers need to know that you genuinely care, and have their best interests in mind.  Secondly, you have to be good at execution, meaning, you need to have a plan, and be able to be organized and intentional about getting things done.  Thirdly, you need to work well with others and recognize how to leverage the strengths of others.  I truly believe in the saying “if you want to go fast, go alone but if you want to go far, go together”.  Success is never achieved alone.

You worked in the non-profit and then came back to the corporate world.  How was that experience?

Making the transition to a different sector was both rewarding and challenging.  Taking the assignment was a risky one, but I’m grateful for what I learned, and for what I was able to contribute.  There are many transferable skills from one sector to the other, but business disciplines need to be applied differently in the not-for-profit (NFP). There is rigor in business that is not as easily digestible in NFP. In business, it’s all about results and metrics. In NFP, metrics are important, but the mission and relationships take precedence.  The velocity with which you can accomplish things in business, can’t always be achieved in the NFP sector – simply because the culture is not the same.  Reaching agreement through consensus is vitally more important.  The personal rewards received in changing or saving a life can’t be matched.  Great experience.

You talk a lot about approaching everything with abundance. Please explain?

We live in a world where, generally, everyone holds the belief that more is better. With that belief, we carry with us, thoughts that repeat in our heads saying “if I just had more X, then life would be easier”. If you had more in your bank account, a bigger house, a better car, more education, less stress, etc.  When we look around at others, we begin to feel inadequate.  I latched on to a saying years ago that said: “Comparison kills contentment”. On Monday, you can be completely thrilled with your “new to you” 3-year-old used car, until Ken and Barbie drive up next to you at the stoplight in their brand new convertible.  Or, you’re so proud of losing five pounds, until the next person loses ten.

Begin or end each day by being thankful for the details of what you’ve been blessed with.  Getting started is the hardest, but after a few weeks of writing a couple down each day, you will start to look at your world differently, and realize how much you actually have, without even looking at physical things.  You will start to look at relationships as your assets, the gift of encouragement that someone gave you, or the feeling you got for being able to help someone else out in your day.  Your abundance mindset will have you starting to look at the world not by what you don’t have, but by what you have and what you can give to others.  Oftentimes, we don’t recognize our unique gifts – a special skill, a piece of knowledge, undivided attention, or an encouraging word.

How has being a husband and father changed you?

When you become a husband, you transition from only thinking about your needs, to thinking about the needs of your spouse. When you have children, you transition further again and gain a greater sense of responsibility to not only provide physically but emotionally and spiritually for your whole family.  All the investments made in you now need to be imparted to others. Your life is now intertwined with others. Like a new recipe you’re trying for the first time, all the good (and the not so good) come together in a big mixing bowl with the strengths (and weaknesses) of your spouse, to form a new mixture. To make the new recipe work, you need to play with the ingredients. To make it all work, there becomes some give and take, and the ability to say “I’m not perfect, you’re not perfect, but together we are much better”. So, being a father and husband has humbled me and made me more grateful for my family who makes me a better version of myself.

Give my audience some sane financial advice?

I believe that making manageable changes, consistently over time, delivers the best results.  Someone once said, “It takes at least 20 years to become an overnight success”. Give away 10% of your income to help others and the charities you are most passionate about. Save 10% of what you make, consistently over your career.  But do the first two before you spend on yourself.  Often time, we set goals that are too big and fail.  Small sacrifices, consistently over time, pay big dividends in the long run.  Seek wise counsel. Only invest your money with someone who makes their money not by making a commission on what investments they sell you, but by the returns and the growth in your portfolio. Don’t carry a credit card balance. Buy your first house as early as you can. Learn to deny yourself luxuries until the staples are in place.

Tell me a good sales joke?

Ha – I actually respect your readers too much to share a sales joke.  I have yet to hear one that isn’t really corny.

How do you balance faith, finance, family, and food in the 21st century?

You create balance by putting priorities in their place and allowing everything else to fit around them. Priorities are established based on your values. For example, if I told you that my faith was important to me, but I never made it to church because of sports, would you say my priorities were in line with my stated values? Probably not.  I balance my life by prioritizing what I value and being intentional through my goals and actions. My faith is important to me, so I make sure I start each day by reading scripture and spending time in prayer.  I do it not because anyone says I have to, but because I need that time in order to stay connected to my faith, which I value so much.  I value my family, so I spend a lot of time with them. I value financial stability, so I make sure I save, and I don’t overspend, but I make sure I enjoy the fruits of my labor. Food – I don’t know what to say about that. Food for me isn’t important unless it’s shared around a table with those I love.

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What is brokenness?

The dictionary defines brokenness as fractured, forcible separation, sundered by divorce, desertion by parents, having been violated, being in a state of disarray, a broken spirit, crushed by grief, suffering from a broken heart, financially or morally bankrupt, and not functioning.

The truth is we live in a broken world. The fabric of our lives is torn with grief, loss, pain, suffering, fear, hatred, racism, discrimination, poverty, judgment, alienation, insecurity, hunger, and violence. As a result, brokenness is everywhere.

We want answers. We cry out through social media or lash out and want explanations, answers, and hope in our brokenness.

We are just coming out from one of the most challenging times our generation has faced. What will life look like post-Covid? There is a lot of uncertainty out there.

Each and everyone has a role to play. We need to deal with our own brokenness. We have to become intentional in healing ourselves and others.

We need to become better listeners and be the salt, the light on the mountain and provide rays of hope through the heart of disillusionment, distrust, anxiety, resentment, and division. We can only do that by being patient, kind, gentle, compassionate, loving unconditionally, forgiving, and being grateful.

I am a big believer in being healed. It will require work. It will require introspection. It will require writing down stuff. It will require talking to other people. You cannot carry the pain. It will literally kill you. If you deal with your prejudices, loneliness, unrealized dreams, stress, worry, guilt, and shame there is joy on the other side.

I spend an hour a day, getting to know my followers across social media. I want to know who they are, why do they follow me, what is so unique and special about them. Queeny Yalangi started following me a few weeks back. I was intrigued by the nom de plume. I soon realized she was an author, podcaster, blogger and worked in the corporate world. Queeny has amazing insights into pain, suffering, love, and disappointment and I love that she used the word brokenness in her book. We talk about food, culture, brokenness, love, and women’s empowerment.

Hello Queeny, can you tell my audience something about yourself?

Hello Jerry, this is Queeny Yalangi, author of Life in Hyderabad: A city of tales. I’m from Hyderabad, India. I’m a blogger, podcast speaker, chef, and abstract painter. I’m an MBA graduate, but my love for books and the English language made me a writer. I work for an MNC, but writing is my first love. 

I want to know what Life in Hyderabad: A city of tales is all about?

Life in Hyderabad is a book of anecdotes, the stories of love, longing, pain, and optimism. I believe that there are many stories in the world, but only a few are heard. My idea behind writing Life in Hyderabad is to introduce common people and their untold stories. Some people fall in love, some people live in love, some people dwell in that pain forever. Some stories have a happy ending while some remain without an ending. Some people express their love to the person whom they love, while some sacrifice their love. So Life in Hyderabad is the voice of all these stories. I also added a  few poems and my original minimalist illustrations in this book at the beginning of each story. Every story is different from others. All these stories are born out of inspiration and observation. I observe people around me, I see their pain, I see their story. And whenever I feel like a story needs a voice, I write that story. So Life in Hyderabad is all about these stories.

We are all broken. The common people, unique, unconventional, outliers, and the stars. I believe to be healed and move forward, we have to accept our brokenness. What is the path of your characters in this journey?

In this book, you will meet the characters who lost everything, the people who are left alone by their loved ones, also the people who are waiting for their love. Every one of them lost something or the other faced setbacks, was abandoned, left out by everyone. But they never lost their hope. They started living with hope. They suffered, they accepted the pain, they healed themselves, they never gave up and they never stopped hoping. And that hope made them move forward each day. This is what inspired me to write their stories. 

Your characters are lost in darkness. Is there a light in their life? What is it about them that they do not want to give up and stay resilient?

Yes, the characters in this book are lost in darkness and broken inside. But they also had good times in their life. They all had normal lives, but life is a cycle of good and bad. Our choices affect our lives. Some chose to live in darkness, but some choose to walk towards the light. My characters chose to move on. They embraced every moment of their lives. They overcame the uncertainties. They found solace in suffering. They moved forward. It is the hope that made them live. They waited with patience for things to happen. They chose to wait instead of giving up. That is what made them walk towards the light. I would say that hope made them stay resilient.

What is hope all about? You cover it in your book. I truly believe we all need hope post covid.

I believe that hope is something that makes us live. To me, hope is that dawn that comes after every dark night, it is happiness that comes after sadness. During Covid, we witnessed many things. 2020 was a roller coaster ride. We have seen good, we have seen bad and we have seen terrible things. But we believed that things will get normal someday. And as we believed things are getting normal slowly. 

I like the dichotomy between pain, love, and how some people choose to live in that pain in the book. Comment?

Yes, some people choose to live in pain. It is not because they love the pain. But sometimes some people don’t even know that they are in pain. They immerse themselves to a level where they don’t even recognize the pain. One of the characters in my book Diya is in love with a man. She gave everything to him out of love. But she never got the same love back. Still, she doesn’t stop loving him. She suffers inside, She cries every day. But she never complains. We know that she is in pain when we are reading her story. But for her it’s love. So some people live in pain out of helplessness and out of love.  

‘Faith gives us strength, it is good to have faith. But when that faith turns into delusion’. You make a very profound statement. I believe in practical faith, unconditional love, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, grace, compassion, forgiveness, and mercy. Do we have something in common?

Yes, I made that statement in my recent blog. I believe that there is a thin line between faith and delusion. Faith gives us strength. We pray to the superior power. According to our religions and cultures, we give him so many names. But God is always one. When we do good, when we help others, when we are kind and generous to others he resides within us. He is in everything we do. He is the reason we wake up every day and lead our normal lives. But I believe faith has its limits. God will help a man who works hard. When we give 100% to something we want and we work hard for it. We should leave the result to God. Work hard and wait with patience. God will make it happen. But they are people who want only miracles and don’t want to work hard. That is when delusion replaces faith. It is good to believe. It is good to trust. But trust yourself first then God will reside within you. Don’t replace faith with fear and take extremes steps out of superstitious beliefs.

Define what women empowerment means to you?

To me, women empowerment is something when women help each other, learn together, and grow together. Women from all walks of life are empowered when they are given a chance to share their thoughts. When their point of view matters in their personal and professional lives. When women have a choice to choose their careers, their future, and their partner. Women are more capable of doing things than cooking meals and making love. But, sadly, the world never thinks in that way. Still, in some parts of the world, women are not allowed to study, they can’t wear modern dresses. They can’t go out alone. Our body gets more attention from society than our knowledge. Our place is decided by our gender. We always get fewer chances to prove ourselves just because we are feminine. This can be and will be changed only when women emp1ower each other and support each other. 

How is your generation of women different from your mom’s and grandmother’s generation?

At the time of my Grandmother’s generation, women were always considered weak. Before they are married they were dependent on their fathers. When they are married they used to depend on their husbands and when they grew old they used to depend on their sons. They never had a voice or chance to make any choice. But this changed at the time of my mom’s generation. They stepped out of their homes. They educated themselves and started doing jobs. They were given importance because of their jobs, but the pay and options were less for them. Now my generation has plenty of opportunities. We became the decision-makers of our lives. We have a choice and technology has made our lives easy. Now any woman can work from anywhere. We have freedom. But it is a LIMITED FREEDOM, LIMITED RESPECT. Like I said before, we are never treated equally because we are feminine. I hope this changes in the next generation.

I want to know about the food scene in your city. What are some of the specialties?

Like I said I’m from Hyderabad, and Hyderabad is famous globally for its delectable food. Dum Biryani is a famous food in our city. We have a lot of upscale restaurants, drive-ins, affordable food spots, food trucks, breakfast centers, and branded chains of restaurants. And we Hyderabadi people love to explore new cuisines every day. We get all types of food. South Indian, Chinese, Continental, Traditional Andhra Cuisine, Mexican, Italian, and many more cuisines and sweets from every region. My favorite foods are Hyderabadi Dum Biryani, Raju Gari Kodi Pulav, Ramki Bandi Breakfast, Kurkure Momos, Haleem, Donne Biryani, vegetarian food from Subbayagari Hotel, and sweets from Vasi Reddy foods. 

You have an MBA. What did you learn at MBA school that you did not know before? For me was a cultural fit.

I learned so much about the world and the opportunities when I was in the MBA program. My professors were very supportive. Mr. Ramprasad was my business law professor and Dean Padma supported me and motivated me. They always made me believe that I can do more in my life. I have represented my MBA college in a lot of national conferences and spoke about RTI, ‘Make in India’, and many more topics. Sometimes I was the only young girl attending seminars in a room full of men in their 50’s. I learned to be independent and fearless. It was a wonderful phase of my life.

Finally, what is one key takeaway that you want the readers to take from your book?

I would like to say one thing to my readers from all across the globe through this book is to NEVER GIVE UP. If you lose your job, try to find a new job, if you fail in an exam try writing again, if you fail in love, try falling in love again. If you fail in something, it doesn’t mean you are a failure, it doesn’t mean that you will stop living. Failure always gives you another opportunity to do better in your life. Something better will be always in store for you. And your hope is your biggest strength. All you need to do is hold it tight, work hard, and move forward no matter what happens in your life. 

The post Dealing with brokenness appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

Cosmetics are products designed to enhance or transform the appearance of the face and body, highlighting beauty and improving skin smoothness. They can be made from natural or synthetic ingredients and include items such as foundation, blush, eye shadow, mascara, and lipstick. In the United States, cosmetics are regulated by the FDA to ensure their safety and quality.

Today, I am delighted to interview Fiona Poh, a talented content creator from Singapore who runs a popular YouTube channel dedicated to makeup artistry and beauty tips.

Fiona, welcome to my blog. Tell me something important about you?

Arts and food are my motivation in life. Seeing beautiful dishes brightens my mood. The colors and displays of food often intrigue me.

Art of all kinds, such as music and drawings, often serves as a healing energy for me. Whenever I am tired, stressed or worn out, I look towards music and drawings to relax.

Art also enables me to express myself whenever I have that desire.

Walk me through your YouTube channel. What is it all about?

My YouTube channel is Fiona Poh. It is mainly an outlet for me to share my makeup ideas, my love for music, and some of my travels, both locally and globally. I started my YouTube channel with makeup tutorials. Makeup has always been my interest and inspiration. I am always inspired by beautiful things which made me want to do makeup tutorials. My makeup tutorials often contain tips that I learned through YouTube videos and beauty magazines while experimenting with my own choice of colors. I love Korean makeup for their natural and yet sophisticated feel. American makeup is also interesting as they bring out the creative side in a person.

Did you choose Tumblr for your blog? What is your blog about? Why did you choose this medium?

I chose Tumblr for my blog. I did not manage to consistently update it as I was focusing on other things in my life. My blog is basically about my daily life and the things I learned. Thus, it contains some of my everyday activities. I chose Tumblr as it is easy to log in and fuss-free. It also provides nice and decent layouts for bloggers. It is convenient for updating posts.

Who is your audience and why should we read and watch your channel?

My audiences are usually food and art lovers. Read my channel if you want to expose yourself to engage in new food ideas, new art inspirations, and relaxation. We learn from everyone. And I hope my ideas will be inspiring for others to create their own. I am not really a food or art expert. However, I am someone who does have inspirations and ideas. I hope everyone can pursue their inspirations and desires despite their fears. I hope everyone can listen to their inner voice and do what they really love. I hope everyone finds comfort in my ideas. Whenever people are stressed or troubled, I hope my channel is a source of comfort and relaxation.

Talk to me about your city, the food, music and why should we visit it?

My country is Singapore. I am proud of my country definitely.

Singapore is a beautiful country with wide choices of good food. Visit Singapore if you love food. We have food from several ethnicity and countries. Our local art scene is growing with new actors; actresses and singers. Visit our local pubs and cafes to catch local talents to display their prowess while you relax in this beautiful country.

We have a beautiful airport with several terminals, food and especially the famous shopping mall, Jewel. Must try in Jewel is A&W! Their root beer float is damn famous. Our beautiful jazz music at the airport is very relaxing.

Help me understand what women’s empowerment means to you? How is it dealt with in your culture?

Women’s empowerment means allowing a woman to have freedom of expression, speech, and decisions which will equip women with self-confidence. Gender equality is very much present in Singapore. Singapore’s women often have the freedom to express themselves and make decisions for themselves. Several of Singapore’s women are highly educated and have their own thoughts. Often in families, husbands and wives do work. Women’s rights are prominent in Singapore. I feel Singapore’s women are pretty much empowered and self-sufficient.

Life is challenging? Let us talk about something challenging you have been through and how did you deal with it?

Life is challenging, definitely. We are always faced with new fears, new problems, and unpredictable failures. Challenges and failures make us grow and build resilience. We cannot change who we are as a person, but we can always find betterment in the things we do. Something challenging I have been through was discovering more about myself and questioning my purpose. I seek some friends’ opinions, guidance, and reflect this gathered information by relating them to my wants and eventually arrive at a conclusion. I realized more things about myself and it was rewarding.

You are banished to an island and can only take five things with you. What would those be and why?

I would take my iPhone, iPhones power bank, water bottle, portable stove, and pot. iPhone and iPhones power bank allows me to take photos of the island until the power bank depletes. At least, I have retained memories of the island. Water bottles, portable stove and pot are things for me to survive on the island. Who doesn’t need food and water?

Rapid-fire questions for you:

Favorite food

My favorite food is my mum’s Peranakan dish, Ayam Buah Keluak. Being half-Peranakan, I am usually addicted to Peranakan food. Ayam Buah Keluak contains the original flavors of Peranakan in their sauces and I love prawns in my Buah Keluak’s paste. Prawns are my favorite!!

Favorite music

I do not really have favorite music. Any music that is nice, I will listen to them. I love the different melodies and styles produced by each songwriter or musician. They give me the inspiration to write songs. I love to be exposed to various kinds of music genres as they broaden my mind.

Favorite group

I do have a favorite group though and it was Tohoshinki; also known as Dong Bang Shin Gi. I started to listen to Kpop because of them and their amazing powerful vocals. Their visuals are astounding. I still remembered myself humming Balloons and Mirotic.

Favorite fashion designer

My favorite fashion designer is Kate Spade. It is a pity she passed away. Several talents have been claimed by suicide and it is something that I hope will not happen again. I hope society is more aware of mental illness. I hope the world is more empathetic and open-minded towards sufferers of mental illness. I think more love, care, and mercy will make this world a better place.

Please write a short song for me?

I made a prayer

For skies to remain blue

Let’s be hopeful

Life is a ride

For we don’t know what might

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