Welcome back, Jaishree, what is new and exciting in your life since our last interview?

Hi Jerry, Thank you for having me again on your amazing blog. I just love reading your posts.

Life has been quite happening in the past few years. My blog GetSetHappy has gained good traction over these years (Thankfully! I am so grateful to the universe and my readers for their support).

I also published my first paperback book Tiny Habits Massive Results, which is like achieving a milestone for me.

Talk to me about your book Tiny Habits Massive Results.

No one in the world is untouched by problems, I am no different. Several years back I faced a serious health issue (a sort of spinal cord disorder) that forced me to leave my corporate job and sit at home. That was a turning point in my life. I was at a zero level in all areas of my life- Health, career, money, relationships. But as it is said- every obstacle brings a new opportunity- it gives us a chance to look at life from a different perspective. This made me take a pause and look at life from a different angle.

Tiny Habits Massive Results’ is a nutshell of my journey. The book primarily talks about certain habits that helped me overcome the major challenges of my life (health, being the most prominent of all, though I am still recovering). I have penned down those 7 (plus a pro habit) habits in the book. I have also discussed how one can adapt and sustain those habits for improving their life in all aspects.

Is this your first book? How was the process? 

Yes! This is my first paperback book. Though I wrote a few small eBooks before this one, I am not really counting those.

The process of writing wasn’t too difficult, as I am a blogger and most importantly I enjoy writing. But the publishing part was a bit straining. Initially, I had no one to guide me. I didn’t know any publisher, and with so many of them offering a variety of additional services, it was so confusing for me to decide which one to choose. But as we say – Just start somewhere and you will find the way. Slowly and steadily things become smoother and the whole process becomes easier. But overall, I enjoyed the entire experience.

Do you find writing cathartic?

Absolutely! 200%. In my book, one of the habits that I have mentioned is- Journaling ( a form of writing). When you write (in a journal or computer or even a blog) you are letting the extra baggage out of your mind. This is like an emotional release – it’s therapeutic. So, writing has helped me a lot to process my emotions, let go of what doesn’t serve me anymore, and release the negative thoughts that I have been holding for a long time.

You have a blog, and are an author, what is next on the horizon?

Ahh. I had never thought I would start a blog. I had never thought I would publish a book, So as of now I don’t have any plans. I would let life unfold itself.

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Dr. Valerie Fitzpatrick is a chiropractor offering gentle chiropractic services to the Greater Toronto Area community. Her practice is centered around Network Spinal Analysis (NSA) approach to health and healing. Network Care is a very gentle therapy that can be helpful with people of all ages, from newborns to the elderly.  Dr. Valerie Fitzpatrick teaches her patients to use a variety of home techniques, including breathing, gentle stretching, and other exercises to support the progress they make in their sessions with her. As chronic tension patterns are shifted, muscles and joints begin to move and respond in new healthy ways. Over time, patients develop new ways of dealing with physical, mental and emotional stress, leading to pain reduction, increased energy and improved sleep patterns. I catch up with her to talk about what is a chiropractor and how they help us lead a healthier life.

Valerie, tell me a little about you, and what made you want to become a chiropractor? 

I think that I have always had an analytical mind and a love for understanding the human body. I have also had a lifelong love of art.  Along the way, I thought of a career in medical illustration, and then spinal cord research, but then came to realize that Chiropractic was what I wanted to do. I had personally experienced the benefits of chiropractic care with occasional wellness treatments during my childhood. Later in my teens, it was my chiropractor who had a significant impact on my life and health. At the age of 16, I nearly died from viral encephalitis, an acute infection of the brain. I had been hospitalized for a long time and had lingering effects from the illness. It was my chiropractor who helped me and gave me lifestyle guidance as I was finding my way back to health. I went on to undergrad studies in Neuroscience and then postgraduate studies in Chiropractic.

Tell us about your practice as a chiropractor? 

I have had a family practice for 23 years, seeing infants to advanced seniors.  Some of my patients are competitive athletes, some are highly sensitive people, some have had multiple accidents or surgeries, some are dealing with autoimmune disorders, some have anxiety disorders and the list goes on.   I initially started practice with conventional chiropractic techniques, but then was introduced to Network Spinal care which I found so personally beneficial.  I began continuing studies in Network care, and I have been using it as my primary method for the past 19 years. I enjoy using the precise low-force adjustments to reduce the tension along their spinal cord, and muscles, and release the fixations along their spine; I especially like the Network emphasis on considering every patient as a whole complex person with a body, mind, and soul – with their own unique history and outlook. 

How do you help patients find a balance around all the anxiety in the 21^st century?

I think the first step in helping someone is taking the time to ask them about their lifelong stressors and traumas, and truly listening. Whether it is abandonment, financial stress, bullying, an eating disorder, divorce, immigration, loss of a job, chronic disability, change of school or work, abuse, or co-dependence – these things can all contribute to a patient’s current health issues. These things can also lead to a state of helplessness or anxiety.

Secondly, by using the Network care techniques I can help people learn, or rather relearn, to breathe fully and deeply again. This can help them switch off the chronic flight-fight-freeze stress response in the autonomic nervous system. Sometimes, I will also teach patients some spinal awareness breathing exercises called Somato Respiratory Integration to help them connect with their body and breath again. When people are more self-aware, they can also be more adaptable to whatever life will throw at them.

With other patients I also talk about expressing healthy anger, setting healthy boundaries, developing attachments to safe people, eating healthy, exercising, and about self-affirmation through pursuing a passion. I can talk more about these topics another time if you’d like.

Talk to me about being a single parent and how you balance being a chiropractor, a business owner, and a single mother?

Well, yes life has not really gone as I planned, but I have learned to grow and stretch myself with each challenge and each stage of life.  I started my chiropractic practice when I was single; at that time, I was able to focus on work, exercise, spiritual growth, and time with friends. A few years later finding myself divorced with a three-year-old daughter while setting up in a new office as a chiropractor definitely changed my priorities and my schedule. I can’t say that I have always had balance in my life, but I have been willing to adapt and willing to grow. There are things that we can control, but so many things we can’t. A child becoming seriously ill, a car accident, a concussion, the hormonal changes of mid-life, a parent in a health crisis; these are just a few examples.  Life is ever-changing, so what works as a balanced schedule at one stage, will not even be possible at another stage.

Personally, my life and work choices have been based on what was best for my daughter and myself, for our physical health as well as our mental and spiritual health. I put my money into quality food as a priority over expensive vacations.  I have dedicated time for friendships that are safe and nurturing. I decided that no matter how busy I am, I will try to ensure that my daughter knows that I am there for her and that home is a safe place, a haven from the world.  Decisions about work location and office hours have also been based on family needs. I make time to get outside for prayer walks with my Creator; that always puts things into perspective for me and keeps life from feeling overwhelming.

Before I was married, I regularly worked out at the gym in solitude, doing weight training and cardio. As a single parent with a young daughter, I couldn’t do that. I learned to exercise at home with a few basic pieces of equipment: resistance bands, a yoga mat, an exercise ball, various dumbbells, and a weighted ball. As my daughter got old enough to be on her own, I found that I could join a gym again, but I realized that I also needed some fun social time. I was starting to feel isolated as a single mom with a solo practice. So instead of joining a gym again, I took different sport and dance classes- lots and lots of classes. That way I met my need for exercise, music, and socialization with other adults.  Now I am back to going to the gym, but I am doing things like boot camp, yoga, and weight-training classes. 

Talk to me about your art and why hobbies and pursuing a passion are important?

As I mentioned earlier, art was one of my first loves, especially pottery and painting.  I did lose connection with my creative side during the years of starting my practice, going through a painful marriage, motherhood, and divorce. When I was in the midst of a particularly difficult time, a few years ago I found art again. It became my therapy.  Art has been a grounding and energizing force in my life again. I no longer paint with a concern about impressing other people with my technical ability. I paint to express my inner self and honor the urge to create.  I have been able to be a part of three art shows now; I have grown from the vulnerability of showing my work, I have felt the deep joy of hearing that someone was moved by my art, and I have felt my self-esteem grow.  I have been able to share my love of art with my daughter, and it has been a bonding activity for us.

Photo Credit: Memories by Moxley

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January is here, which means you’ve likely set a New Years’ resolution! for your health goals. It is important to have holistic goals, where you in are sync emotionally, spiritually, mentally, psychologically, and financially.

2020 and 2021 were not easy. However, I am going to leave you with this

Mallory Aldred is a Registered Holistic Nutritionist who provides an individually tailored, non-diet approach to whole-body wellness where she offers a variety of programs centered around real-time education, teamwork, and accountability. She gives a few helpful strategies to stick to your 2022 health objectives and goals.

Is one of your health goals to lose weight?

Is one of your health goals to start packing your lunches?

How about becoming more active?

If so, well done! Here are a few helpful strategies I provide my nutrition clients that may help you stick to your 2020  health goals:

Start small and realistic. Oftentimes, we set goals that are extremely overwhelming which can make it difficult to get started. Instead of promising yourself, you’ll lose 50 pounds this year, focus on dropping 5 pounds for the month of February.

Find an accountability buddy. Having support, whether it be a friend, family member, or professional coach can be super motivating. Aim for daily or weekly check-ins to keep yourself on track. It’s important to ask for help as many of us are unable to get to where we want on our own.

Create space for setbacks. It’s unrealistic to think you’ll go from A to Z overnight. View setbacks as progress towards achieving your goals and use them as motivation rather than defeat. Your “failures” are simply providing you information about what works and what doesn’t.

Finally, don’t expect a quick fix. We are all built differently and have our own unique timelines. Comparing yourself to others can often cause unnecessary disappointment. Be patient, gentle to yourself, and never give up.

If you are looking for professional health and wellness support, you can contact her at malloryaldred@gmail.com

The post 4 Strategies to Achieve Your Health Goals appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

Entrepreneurship is about creating value. It is about taking risks and bootstrapping. It is the framework for designing, launching, and running a new business. The creator of this business is called an entrepreneur. The entrepreneur has to make business decisions and deal with government policies, market demand, and economic crises. The entrepreneur has to focus on her core competence and create a competitive advantage to increase the footprint.

The entrepreneur acts on an idea and manages and oversees the launch and growth of her business. The entrepreneur has to develop a business plan, go alone or hire staff, work within her financial and material resources, look at her own skill sets, be a dynamic leader, see her attitude to risk, and take responsibility for failure or success.

Four Columns loves entrepreneurs who take risks, think outside the box, meet the needs of the market, are agile, and go above and beyond to surpass the expectations of the customer.

Jesselina started Pad2Go, Muskan Khanna owns a boutique tea store, Ashley is starting a beauty business, Paula Ariya owns a beauty salon, Mallory Aldred owns a food consulting business, and Anu Bidani is starting STEM, one of the fastest tech educational firms in North America. These women are game-changers on the cutting edge in their field, empowering women and making a difference in society.

From my perspective, too many entrepreneurs get so focused that they sacrifice many other important areas of their lives. Michelle runs The Balanced CEO, which is a place for entrepreneurs to become their best selves while growing their business. Michelle empowers you to create a strong mind, body, and soul connection so you can develop a positive mindset and focus on productivity while building consistent habits and routines, reduce stress, balance your well-being, and build a successful business with purpose.

Michelle talks about life, gratitude, self-reflection, and having balance in our lives.

Michelle, I am looking forward to interviewing you as we have so much in common. Tell me a little about you?

Thank you so much for interviewing me, Jerry! I was born and raised on a very small island known as St.Thomas, United States Virgin Islands. My mom is from Trinidad and my dad was from New York. Since 2014, I have been living in the states first in Virginia and now I am living in Maryland. I went to college to become a Pastry Chef and worked in that field for a while but later quit and started working in insurance and soon realized that I wanted nothing more but to become my own boss.

I am a big believer in having balance in your life. Walk me through how you came up with The Balanced CEO?

After being self-employed for a few years now I noticed that as much as I was passionate about building a successful business and doing it all, I quickly became overwhelmed and burnt out causing a toll on my health.

I was so focused on growing my business that I wasn’t paying attention to taking care of myself, my well-being, and other areas of my life.  

Once I started taking care of myself first I have become happier and healthier and able to function better, become more creative, and able to get through my to-do list a lot easier causing my business to grow faster.

Being an entrepreneur is one of the most rewarding jobs out there and to succeed starts with YOU. The more that we show love and care for our mind, body, and soul the more we can achieve because it will come from a place of balance. 

We aren’t here to just work but also to find the right balance to enjoy other things in life.

I know from personal experience that it is hard creating a balance between life and business but it is possible!

So, I created The Balanced CEO to provide inspiration, resources, tools, and tips to help entrepreneurs, bloggers, and content creators manage their mind, take care of themselves, become less overwhelmed, more productive, and become the best version of themselves all while building your dream business.

We all have so much potential within us and we can create the life we deserve but it all starts with ourselves.

At The Balanced CEO, it is all about implementing balance in the lives of us entrepreneurs who try to do it all.

Before I got married I did not know how to spell gratitude. I practice it daily. Your best practice is to practice gratitude daily. Talk to me about why and the after-effects?

I believe that there is ALWAYS something to be thankful for. No matter how hard your life is at the moment there is always a little something that you should be thankful for whether it is you have a warm place to live in, clothes on your back, food to eat, or waking up to see another day. People often focus on what they don’t have vs. what they do have. I believe that when times are tough and you shift your mindset to focus on what you do have you will become happy and fulfilled. It’s all about being mindful and appreciating life and everything it has to offer.

Balancing your mind, body, and soul is not easy. How did you achieve this at such an early stage in your life? For me, it has taken a lot of introspection?

This is something I am actually still working on and I do believe that we are always working on balancing our mind, body, and soul as the journeys in our life change.

I take it one day at a time now by creating habits and routines that help balance out my day. 

For my morning routine, I spend a few hours taking care of myself, mind, body, and soul first before jumping into work. I never used to do this and it has changed my life completely. I journal, read, workout, and make myself a healthy breakfast. My morning routine has helped me to become motivated and has given me the energy to start my workday with a positive attitude.

In the evening time, I “clock out” of work and I practice yoga then spend time with my husband. 

I have learned to appreciate the time I have in the day and not take it for granted but instead use my time wisely and create a work-life balance.

I have been a giver all my life without boundaries. However, it hurt me. Talk to me about loving ourselves, cutting negative relationships, and letting go of toxicity in our lives?

It is so important to love ourselves first, many people think it is selfish but it is 100% not selfish. To be full of bliss and balanced, we need to be happy with ourselves. In order, to help others and take care of others we have to take care of ourselves first. Learning to say no, cutting off negative relationships, or removing ourselves from any kind of negative environment will seem hard at first. You will feel guilty and your emotions will get the best of you. But, once you see how positively it impacts your mind and your life, it will get easier. At the end of the day, we have to live with ourselves no one else. So, choose to live it the way you want. Negative relationships bring you down and cause you to be negative as well putting a damper on your mind and your goals. You should always surround yourself with positive people. Why go through life being negative and living miserably?

I have met so many entrepreneurs who are successful financially but have messed up personal lives. Help me understand how does balance look like in their lives?

Money is important because we need it to survive and lots of us just want to be financially free. But, what is more, important is the people in our lives, our relationships, and our self-care. The money will always come and go but our family and friends, unfortunately, don’t live forever and we should never take that for granted. These entrepreneurs probably spent 24/7 working and even when they were with their families, work probably came first. There is always a way to have a work-life balance. You just have to figure out what works for you and your life.

Self-reflection is an amazing habit as long as it is done to see how you can help other people by becoming better… please explain?

Self-reflection is such a great way to slow down, practice self-care, and live in the present moment. Sometimes we get so caught up in our day-to-day and it’s like we are on autopilot. It causes us to become frustrated like we aren’t seeing any progress on our goals. But, if we take the time to reflect by journaling, looking at past pictures, or just meditating it will help us to reflect on our mistakes, see how far we come and if our daily tasks are aligned with our goals. Practicing self-reflection consistently will help us gain more clarity and peace in our lives.

In your opinion do we have a healthy relationship with social media? Does the dopamine effect of likes, shares, pins, and comments make it artificial, and is it healthy?

I believe that a lot of us don’t have healthy relationships with social media. Especially as entrepreneurs we are obsessing over our metrics (likes, share, engagement, etc).  And we tend to compare ourselves to others causing us to be less productive and strive for perfection. When perfection actually does not exist. We shouldn’t compare ourselves because all our journeys are different. We are all unique and can share our messages differently. We need to rewire our brains to learn to use social media as a tool to connect not compare.

Can anyone become an entrepreneur? Should they do a self-analysis and see if they have the skill sets?

I believe anyone can become what they want to be if they put their mind to it. But, entrepreneurship might not be for everyone. The long hours, the risk, and the mindset is hard. I know some people who never want to be an entrepreneur because they like structure and the stability of having a paycheck. So, yes a self-analysis is definitely a good idea. But, if you are determined to become an entrepreneur and realize you don’t have any skills, just learn. As entrepreneurs, we are constantly learning new skills as we wear many hats in the business. So, if you set your mind to something you can do it.

You are a woman after my own heart. You like food and carbs. Talk to me about your city where you live and the food scene?

I currently live in Maryland and I am near the DMV area (DC, Maryland, Virginia). There are so much different foods and cultures here and I love it. Being from the Caribbean it’s nice to have a lot of different foods that remind me of home. Also, I love the fact that I can find lots of healthy restaurants.

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A healthy lifestyle is vital for us and allows us to deal with the daily vicissitudes of life. A healthy lifestyle consists of exercising regularly, not eating junk and processed food or drinking too much pop, sleeping well, and making ethical decisions in your life.

Remember Rome was not built in one day. I would recommend you do the same with yourself. Take it easy, make small changes, enjoy the wins, be pliant, and find support with any issues you are facing. You can do this.

I ask Mallory Aldred why we should have a healthy diet.

Mallory Aldred is a Registered Holistic Nutritionist who provides an individually tailored, non-diet approach to whole-body wellness where she offers a variety of programs centered around real-time education, teamwork, and accountability. She gives some reasons for having a healthy diet.

Mallory, tell me a little about you?

Sure, I would love to! I am a “30-something” professional currently living in Toronto, ON. I have a Scottish fold munchkin cat named Peanut and I lead a very active lifestyle. I place a strong value on family, friends, and self-care. After a very long break from athletics (previous NCAA softball player at Canisius College), I have recently jumped back into challenging myself physically via sprint triathlons and distance cycling. 

What made you choose to become a Nutritionist and tell me the reason for having a healthy diet?

About 13 years ago, I was 50 lbs heavier than I am now. Because of the excess weight, I experienced low energy, poor sleep, a lack of self-confidence and I had a terrible immune system. One day I became fed up and decided it was time to make some healthy changes. As I gradually lost the weight (without a crash diet), my entire life changed for the better. It was at that time I knew I needed to share the gift of healthy, nutritious eating with others. I enrolled at the Canadian School of Natural Nutrition and received my designation in 2010.

How important is healthy food in our daily lives?

What we eat determines how we look but, more importantly, how we feel. If you want to accomplish more and feel fabulous doing it, incorporating healthy food into your daily routine is crucial. I strongly believe that if you eat nutritious foods most of the time, you are naturally more optimistic, and your obstacles become challenges you can meet.

Do I have to eat like an Olympic athlete daily?

If you’re an Olympic athlete, then absolutely, but most of us are not. The biggest mental flaw most have with nutrition is thinking it has to be an all or nothing approach. Over the years, I’ve found with myself and my clients, it’s the smallest changes that go the longest distance with health.

Give me a few examples of foods that are not good for our health?

There are a lot of different theories out there, however, personally, my body does not react well to simple carbohydrates (white flour products and sugar), trans/saturated fats, or most dairy products. Generally speaking, the fewer ingredients listed on the nutrition label, the better!

Give me a few examples of foods that are tasty and good for our health?

Some of my favorites are roasted root vegetables (sweet potato, parsnips, squashes), seafood (shrimp, lobster, scallops), dark chocolate, & a banana spread with natural nut butter (peanut, cashew, almond). 

Can we indulge once a week? 

In my opinion, absolutely! I do not believe in diets or unrealistic restrictions. Food should be viewed as fuel to operate rather than a reward or punishment.

Define a balanced diet?

It is my belief that a balanced diet incorporates lean protein, monounsaturated and polyunsaturated fats, 100% whole grains, fruits and vegetables. It is also important to hydrate with water and herbal teas.

How has life changed for you as you are pursuing your passions?

When I am sharing the gift of nutrition, I never feel like it’s “work”. I’ve formed many meaningful relationships pursuing my passion and it’s a true pleasure to watch my clients take back control of their health and happiness.

The post Reasons to Have a Healthy Diet appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

Live a life that is well balanced; don’t do things in excess – Daniel Smith

Balance is a feeling derived from being whole and complete; it’s a sense of harmony. It is essential to maintain quality in life and work – Joshua Osenga

As I read the headlines for the last couple of weeks, it has become depressing. A famous entrepreneur who was famous for focusing on success dies in his early 40’s. The final six months of his life were drugs and alcohol. The entrepreneur was paying people a salary to hang out with him. Another entrepreneur was talking about working 80 hours a week. I looked into his personal life. He has four kids from four different women and was asking the journalist who was interviewing him to find him a date. Another spiritual guru was caught in the act of infidelity and drugs. The song continues.

The pursuit of excess or just focusing on one aspect of your life puts the other essential areas out of balance. Everything in life needs balance.

Feeling lonely by not leading a balanced life

The phone rang. In my 15 years on Bay Street, the phone rang constantly. The reasons are to make or cancel a trade, to get a quote, to inform us about a change, or to invite us for a lunch presentation or news announcement.

There were some calls you just ignored. For instance, a call from a stock promoter. However, this was an important call. He had just retired as the CFO of a major mining company. We talked for a while. After that, I asked him how things were going as it had been six months into his retirement. He was shaking and trembling on the other side. He was lonely and bored to death. The latest surveys from the US, Canada, and the UK all show that the baby boomers are lonely after retirement.

Mr. CFO was 60 years old and for the last, three and a half decades had worked in mining operations in the US, South America, and Southeast Asia. He had a fancy condo in the city, a condo in Florida, millions in the bank account. Above all, he was alone, lonely, bored and scared. In conclusion, he called because he wanted to talk to someone.

What is your purpose in life?

In other words, all his life he had focused so much on his career that he never focused on his wife. The kids were raised by nannies and he never formed a bond with them. The wife had left him. The kids had no time for him.

In addition, he made the mistake of replacing his work identity with his personal identity. Similarly, the identity of a husband, brother, uncle, son, father, and volunteer all took a back seat. Above all, it was always that quarterly report and making the analysts happy. It was about meeting targets and getting compensated for it.

The truth is that the work identity ends at some point. The title, place in the organization chart, the work ethic makes us feel worthy. However, we fail to find a balance.

Therefore, I asked him if he had a purpose for his life now. I honestly believe the question was in another language from his response.

After that, I asked if he was ready to embrace change and how did he prepare himself.

Did he volunteer at all?

Did he ever share his money with charities to make a difference?

Did he have a vision and mission to enrich other people around him?

Life is a circle. We reap what we sow.

A balanced life includes

In conclusion, a balanced life includes having a dynamic faith, a loving family, supportive friends, and eating healthy food as it is important for us emotionally, mentally, psychologically, physically, and financially.

As you go on your daily life today, stay connected, enrich your life by taking a friend out for a meal, give to charity, buy a sandwich for the homeless person sleeping on the street, smile, reach out, give a hug and make a difference.

In a world filled with COVID, we need to make a difference and be game-changers in society.

The post Discover Reasons to Live a Balanced Life appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

Sabika Hassan runs womenhealthhub and Sabika.whh, which focuses on women’s health. I like her approach as it is real, vulnerable, direct, and open. She is also the first Muslim whom I am interviewing at Four Columns. She covers a variety of topics regarding women’s health and I strongly recommend you read her blog.

I was born in a Canadian missionary hospital surrounded by Irish, English, and German missionaries. At St. Joseph’s Convent, my classmates were Hindu, Muslim, Protestant, Jain, and Buddhist.

At the age of 13, I headed off to St. Andrews and had to live with students from all over the world, which really expanded my horizons.

At Bishop Cotton School, I was one of three Catholic boys in a Protestant boarding school. Some of my closest friends are still from this school.

At university in Switzerland, I will never forget my closest friends then and till today were Yal (Jewish), Honny (Hindu), Kabir (Muslim), and Ton-Joost (Protestant).

I live in Toronto, which is one of the most multicultural societies in the world. As I take my wife and daughter to see the Hindu temples or to experience Langar at the Sikh Gurdwara, it has opened up my eyes to the beauty of different faiths.

C.S. Lewis, the famous British author, challenges us to step inside and look along with people of different faiths rather than from the outside. To understand, we need to have a dialogue and find commonality. No use poking holes at others, but understand their point of view. Learn their stories as stories are the crux of life.

The key to this kind of understanding is dialogue.

As I sat on the floor of the Gurdwara with Gurpreet Bhogal, he reminded me we are all equal and that hospitality is important to the Sikh faith. As I shared a Shabbat meal with Annette Ronski, I learned the meaning of salt and bitter herbs.

As you head out this week, try to get to know someone of a different faith or just visit a church, mosque, temple, or gurdwara. You will be amazed as to how much in common we have with one another. If you are a female and reading this please take care of your health. Women’s health is important to society. Many cultures do not place an emphasis on women’s health. The result is that women’s health suffers, having a negative impact on society.

Sabika, you have a unique name. What does it mean?

Sabika is an Arabic word meaning pure gold or silver. You may come across this word used in the context of jewelry but spiritually, the meaning is purity, virtuousness, and devotion to God.

I want to know your motivation behind starting Women Health Hub?

Starting a health website has been my goal for the past several years. In 2019, I quit a full-time job as a remote Editor in Chief at a US-based company & decided to pursue this dream.

But why did I choose health, and particularly, women’s health?

I’ve seen women around me not prioritizing their wellbeing. And they’ve suffered because of it. A moment’s hesitation in getting proper treatment at the right time can wreak havoc on families. Children lose their mothers, siblings lose their sisters, parents lose their daughters, and husbands lose their wives. It’s heartbreaking. Additionally, I’ve seen women getting crushed under the financial costs that pile up if they start late treatments.

There’s a severe lack of awareness regarding women’s health issues, especially in underdeveloped countries. Most women have no idea how to differentiate between something normal and abnormal. This leads to serious complications such as in the case of pregnancy.

Lastly, there’s a major communication gap between doctors and female patients. Health professionals rarely have the time to explain how to live a life with certain diseases, what things to beware of, or how to handle emotional turmoil that comes with a chronic or acute illness. For this reason, women have to turn to counselors which can be costly. Their next option is support groups, but it helps to a certain extent. Many patients also don’t communicate properly about their condition, for example, the medications they’re taking.

In short, with womenhealthhub.com, my aim is to bridge these communication gaps, educate & spread awareness about female diseases, and help women understand why they need to prioritize their wellbeing.

This has been my core motivation — to empower women to take control of their health!

Do you believe that women ignore their health or they just need to be more aware of it?

Both, according to my observation. Most women tend to put their own health on the back-burner because of family, work, and tons of responsibilities. Even if they notice anything wrong, the symptoms are often disregarded by saying, “It’s nothing!” or “I’ll be fine.”

But why do women ignore their health? I’d say the main reason is lack of awareness. Dismissing a simple symptom as “nothing” could be one of the biggest mistakes you make. Maybe it’s a sign of hormone imbalance, maybe a sign of cancer. Unless you learn the difference between normal and abnormal, you’ll never truly understand when to visit a doctor or take serious action for your health.

In short, awareness about women’s diseases helps you become more vigilant & be in control of your wellbeing before it controls you.

Do you also write from experience or do a lot of research into healthcare?

Writing from personal experiences helps others relate to your story. This way they don’t feel alone in the struggle & feel understood. But for hard-facts, staying updated on health advancements is integral. Continuous research on health studies is essential if you want to deliver authentic facts to your community. Even if you write from experience, you do need solid and reliable resources to back up your claims. Because nowadays, you have to support important facts with substantial evidence. Otherwise, it breeds uncertainty.

Define what women empowerment means to you?

There’s a lot of controversy around this topic. But for me, it’s pretty simple.

Women empowerment is embracing strong capable women and not being afraid or threatened by them. An educated, mentally strong, and physically healthy woman can do wonders for her family, society, and country. On the other hand, a woman who’s forced to live a life designed and controlled by others feels suffocated, which breeds an unhealthy society & family.

Both genders should work together to create a comfortable & safe environment for women at your home, neighborhood, social gatherings, and a workplace where you can encourage female education, help them find their voice, and become more confident.

Walk me through your faith, the culture, festivals, and everything about it?

I’m a Muslim by faith. Sadly, the true essence of Islam has been misunderstood & disfigured by hypocrites over the years. I would describe Islam as a religion of peace, minimalism, humanity, finding resilience & strength in God during dark times, being grateful for the small stuff, and always standing up for the rights of the oppressed.

On the other hand, Pakistani culture is a culmination of several traditions, both religious and non-religious. We’ve 4 provinces, and each of them has a uniquely vibrant culture with varying music, foods, and societal norms. We primarily speak Urdu (a combination of different languages) but you’ll also find people speaking English, Sindhi, Punjabi, Pashto, and others. The urban culture is significantly different from rural. At the core, Pakistanis are warm, welcoming people. We love to explore, celebrate, meet new people, and have healthy discussions over a cup of tea.

We celebrate numerous festivals throughout the year. The 4 most important religious events are:

Ramzan: We fast for 30 days regularly, from dawn to dusk. At dawn, we have breakfast or Sehri and at dusk, a special feast called Iftari. For Iftari, we prepare samosas, pakoras, dahi baray, dahi bhallay, fruit chaat, and dinner meals.

Eid ul Fitr: A colorful celebration following Ramzan where we eat sweet vermicelli and elders give gifts to youngsters.

Eid ul Azha: For 3 days we carry out animal sacrifices of goats, cows, camels, or sheep as a reminder of Prophet Ibrahim’s near-sacrifice of his son. The meat is then distributed among the needy, neighbors, and relatives.

Muharram: Organized by Shia-Muslims, a sorrowful commemoration & remembrance of Imam Hussein’s sacrifice along with his sons & friends, and how the ladies of their household were kept captives for months.

Talk to me about the city you live in, the food scene and why should we visit it?

I live in Karachi, Pakistan, which is the biggest metropolitan city in our country. People from all over the country come here to work or live. Over the decades, it has become overpopulated, haha. But for tourists, it’s a must-see city!

No matter your interests, you’ll find something enjoyable and worth your visit here. The most popular dish is Biryani — rice mixed in chicken/mutton/beef/veggie curry. You’d rarely come across anyone who isn’t an instant fan of Biryani!

Tourists also love Qorma, Nihari, & Karhai made of chicken, mutton, or beef. Haleem is yet another delicacy made of multiple ground grains & shredded meat. On Sundays, most families have Parathas or Halwa Puri with tea for breakfasts. Karachi is a coastal area and a hub of seafood delicacies. You can eat fried or baked fish, crabs, prawns, and shrimps.

Street foods are also popular here like Gol Gappas (round fried stuffed light dough balls eaten with tamarind chutney), Chana Chaat (spicy chickpeas), Burgers, Kulfis (ice-cream on sticks made of milk), fruit shakes, and spicy french fries.

Karachi is primarily known for its beaches. Turtle Beach, kemari, Sandspit, Hawksbay and restaurants alongside Seaview are worth visiting. Get a glimpse of old Karachi in the 60s & 70s in some parts of Saddar or Kharadar. You’ll find some eye-catching beauties depicting British & Hindu style architecture before our independence.

Most tourism spots in Karachi are centered on our rich history and culture. You should visit the museums & art galleries here with art, books, and cultural exhibitions. Attend our inspiring Urdu, English & literary events with poetry & traditional music or buy a ticket to the latest thought-provoking play in theaters. If you’re a fan of Sufism, then a ghazal night would be your cup of tea.

And of course, don’t forget to visit Karachi’s favorite food galas with 100s of stalls by restaurants & home-chefs, music and fun games for families & friends.

How are women different from your generation compared to your mom and grandmom?

Women nowadays have become more vocal about their rights, which is great. But I guess we also need to talk equally about women’s responsibilities toward society & family.

There was a time when women’s education wasn’t a priority. We should feel lucky that we’re in an era where women are encouraged to get a good education and be independent. But not everyone is that lucky, especially in my country.

I also like that a lot of women have now started being open about their health problems. This is a serious need of our time. We should normalize discussing female diseases to ensure timely detections & preventions.

Tell me a good joke?

Hey, I love jokes! I’ll share two:

One for health enthusiasts:

This was written on a board in front of a drug store: “To the dude who stole our antidepressants — hope you’re happy now!”

One for foodies:

“A cheese factory just exploded in France!”

“That’s awful!”

“Yeah. Da Brie is everywhere.”

The post Sabika Hassan: Focusing on Women’s Health appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

I was a vegetarian until the age of 13. A few years of boarding school and then the hotel school really exposed me to many foods. There was not much variety offered in terms of vegetarian food. I tried many different kinds of food from various countries. After backpacking and traveling to more than thirty countries, I am convinced that every country has offered something unique to cuisine.  In this series, I will talk to vegetarians and vegans from all over the world. Abdourahamane Ly is from Africa, has a British wife, and lives in China. I talk to him about his path to becoming vegan.

Fulanivegan, welcome to my series on vegans, please tell me a little about you?

I am from Guinea Conakry in West Africa. I left at the age of 19 and moved to China. I have spent the last 13 years living in Shanghai. I have recently come to Rwanda for work. I studied International Trade and Economics at the University in Shanghai and now operate an import/export business.

How did you become a vegan and what are the advantages of being a vegan?

My wife was a vegetarian and made me read Peter Singer’s book “Animal Liberation”. I initially converted to vegetarianism but once we learned more about the horrors of the dairy and egg industry we both became vegan. There are so many benefits to being a vegan, starting with the fact that you no longer have blood on your hands and can look an animal in the eye. After adopting a completely plant-based diet, my energy levels improved and I developed more stamina at the Gym. My digestion also improved greatly.

Talk to me about where you live, the culture, food, vegan restaurants, and why we should visit?

While I am currently in Rwanda, my China is my home in the long-term. China has some of the most delicious and diverse cuisines in the world. The food can be made vegan as there are so many plant-based dishes. My favorite are vegan Jiaozi (dumplings) and Suan la tu dou si (shredded hot and sour potatoes). Vegan restaurants are popular in Shanghai due to the Buddhist population. I highly recommend you visit them!

From your IG pics, it looks like you like traveling and culture. talk to me about that aspect of your life?

I love to travel. Leaving my native country at an early age taught me the importance of embracing different cultures and learning new languages. It is important to try and understand different viewpoints and be tolerant. Despite growing up a Muslim in Africa, I have been exposed to all sorts of ideas across the globe – it really makes you a better person. My wife is British and we like to travel together and are constantly learning new things.

Talk to me about your favorite and least favorite vegetables?

I love courgette, recently I seem to include it in most of my cooking! I am really not a fan of white eggplant; they use it a lot in Rwanda.

Indian food is known to have a huge variety of food for vegans. What other food has that kind of variety?

 I love Indian food, but Chinese food has a better variety of vegan dishes! Follow @vegansofshanghai on Instagram for some amazing vegan Chinese recipes.

Do you only eat organic or also GMO plants?

I eat GMO plants.  I prefer to eat organic most of the time, however, in China, this is very difficult. Even things labeled ‘organic’ are not necessarily organic.

If someone wants to transition into becoming vegan what would you say to them?

If you are thinking about transitioning to become a vegan, I recommend you do your research before. Explore the ethical reasons for being vegan. This will make you less likely to quit when you know the consequences for the victims of the animal agriculture industry. Follow some vegan bloggers on Instagram – they will give you great ideas for recipes and nutrition and help you remain excited about the transition. Also, buy B12 vitamins!

Vegans are sexy… please comment?

There is nothing sexier than compassion

The post Vegan in China appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

Jessica, talk to me about what is a Certified Master Nutrition Therapist?

Please help me understand a little bit about functional medicine, sports nutrition, and yoga and how do they all complement each other?

Weight loss is a multi-billion dollar business in the West. I like how you describe that you went from one school where you meditated and swam to another school where everyone went to the mall and ate fast food. Walk me through our present fast-food diet and how it is harming us?

I love food. However, so much of eating food is linked to metabolism, energy, mental clarity, and mood. I consider myself disciplined, but even I give into chips, ice cream, and snacks. Is there anything wrong with that?

I specialize in weight loss, digestion, and detoxification and have created programs centered on these areas.

The 30-Day Natural Weight Loss Course allows individuals to lose weight naturally and sustainably while learning the how’s and why’s. Throughout the program, I train individuals in understanding their specific biochemistry, habits, goals, and challenges. There are plenty of resources including webinars, an interactive eBook, a yoga video, weekly menu plans, grocery lists, and recipes included in it.

Food sensitivities can be challenging to identify because symptoms are delayed from 30 minutes to 72 hours. Due to this delay, it is very hard to isolate and identify the food that is causing inflammatory symptoms. There are two primary options for food sensitivity testing that I provide in my practice.

If I am eating healthy, and consuming my fruits and vegetables, do I still need supplements?

Stress is a part of our lives. Talk to me about how social media has messed us even more?

The post Jessica Reader: Master Nutrition Therapist appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

Bethany Ashlyn, blogs on mental health and Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS). It is something I had never heard of. I catch up with Bethany about her life dealing with mental health and PCOS.

Bethany, welcome, and let’s start by talking about you. Tell me a little about you?

First off, thank you so much for allowing me to talk a little about myself and what I do! It is an honor!

To start things off, my name is Bethany Ashlyn, and I come from a small town in the middle of the United States. I’m 26 years old, engaged to the love of my life (fall wedding 2020), and am currently following my passion for writing and helping others.

My likes include reading, doing any form of outdoor activity, and board games. In fact, my fiancé and I have purchased a 1000-piece puzzle and have become quite obsessed with the new hobby. My friends and family like to say I’m a 90-year-old in a 26-year-old body.

About two years ago, I started a blog, The Graceful Klutz, on a whim. I was working a job I hated, was in a constant state of anxiety, and felt utterly lost. So, I started writing as a way to get out of my head. The blog was about relationships, fashion, beauty, and lifestyle.

The more I wrote about it, the more I started finding myself again. It was a few months before I decided to do something crazy. I quit my job to pursue my dreams of writing. At that time, I was not making any money from my blog, but I knew something had to change, and I was so desperate to feel better that it seemed worth the risk.

Luckily I had a boyfriend (now fiancé) who was willing to help me follow this passion of mine. I worked day and night for a little over a year on this blog until I suffered a terrible burnout. I had worked so much and was writing about things I didn’t genuinely care about that I experienced a mental breakdown.

I didn’t get out of bed for several days and would burst into tears for no reason. A couple of weeks later, I stopped blogging, got a job at a local garden shop, and worked on waking up and getting out of bed each day.

The garden shop saved my mental health in a lot of ways. By forcing me to go outside and be around others, I was starting to see the old me again, the one filled with a passion for writing.

By bettering myself, both physically and mentally, I realized that I was genuinely passionate about helping myself and others who suffer from all the stresses life brings our way. So, I decided to take all the research I was already doing and turn it into a community for others.

That is when my new blog, Bethany Ashlyn, was born. It’s not just a blog but a community for others to learn about ways to reduce anxiety, improve their wellbeing, and feel a little less alone.

Currently, writing is my full-time job, and I have never been happier. While I’m still working on myself, I have finally found a passion I love and am so excited every day to share it with the world.

Are you a perfectionist? A surviving perfectionist? Help me understand the challenges you face as a perfectionist?

I’d like to think of myself as a recovering perfectionist in a sense. I still have that small bubble of anxiety come up when I write an article or start a project. It’s like a nagging in my brain telling me that I’m not good enough and that I need to do better.

Not to put blame on anyone, but I do feel like part of this came from my childhood. I had a father who was nowhere near the father of the year. He regularly made me feel like I was not good enough. No matter how clean I kept my room or how many praises I got from my teachers, it was never enough for him.

While I have forgiven him and moved on from this toxic mindset, it still created a deep-seated need to prove to everyone that I am good enough. It has taken years to break that thought process of needing everything to be perfect.

I think what most perfectionists face is needing to control everything in life. I’m not in control of what other people think about me, and I never will be. This used to cause such anxiety to the point of me not sharing anything about myself with others.

It’s not an easy journey, but learning to focus on what you can control has helped me open up about my life and do things without fear of judgment or criticism. I cannot control if someone thinks I’m dumb, but what I can control is not letting it affect me.

What is PCOS? What are the causes and symptoms? Is there a cure?

PCOS, or Polycystic ovary syndrome, is a hormonal disorder that affects 1 in 10 women worldwide. It can cause a range of symptoms like infertility, irregular periods, excessive hair growth or hair loss, weight gain, diabetes, acne, depression, and so much more. Women can suffer from all, none, or just a few of these symptoms. Due to the range of symptoms and the lack of talk about PCOS in the media, most women go undiagnosed.

Typically, women with PCOS suffer from insulin resistance. Insulin is a hormone created by the pancreas. Foods we eat get broken down into sugars, or glucose, and then it gets absorbed into the blood. Insulin helps by getting the glucose into cells to be used as energy. When our body doesn’t have enough insulin or doesn’t use it properly, we get higher blood sugar levels.

When this happens, our entire body starts becoming unbalanced. It can cause our ovaries to produce excessive amounts of testosterone, which leads to the thinning scalp and unwanted hair growth. This is also why women with PCOS have a higher risk of developing diabetes, another insulin-related disease.

Right now, there is no cure for PCOS. While it is possible to manage symptoms, it is not something you can ever cure. PCOS is the reason I started my website because I wanted to help women who were suffering from this hormonal imbalance. What a lot of people don’t realize is that it isn’t just a hormonal disorder. It can wreak havoc on a woman’s mental and physical health.

For instance, I didn’t know until I was 22 that I had PCOS. For years I felt like something was wrong with me. I had to shave my face regularly to keep my chin hairs from being seen, I would skip periods for months at a time, and I was gaining weight while eating less than other girls in my school.

I felt ugly, ashamed, and alone. One day I came across a Youtuber, Sarah’s Day, and watched a couple of her videos. She talked about PCOS and some of the things it causes, and I remember mentally check-marking all the symptoms off in my head. After that, I went into a research craze where I read every article I could get my hands on.

It was like a lightbulb had gone off! I wasn’t alone anymore. I had this thing, PCOS, to blame for things going on in my body. It was as if knowing this finally gave me a reason to fight. Instead of being in the dark, I finally had information to help my body.

Then I realized that, while so many women suffered from this, a lot of them were in the dark like I was. I’ve read countless testimonies of doctors just pushing birth control on someone or telling them to lose weight. It is so infuriating having someone tell you that you need to lose weight when your PCOS makes it so difficult to do that.

This doesn’t mean all doctors are going to act this way or that this medication doesn’t work, but I do think there is a lack of understanding in the medical field that we need to fix. There are so many different treatments out there that doctors don’t tell their patients about that are scientifically proven to help.

That is why I’m trying to bring PCOS information out into the public. For me, I’ve been fortunate to have a fantastic group of people to help me through this, both professionally and personally. Not everyone has that. I know learning about PCOS has helped change my life. I hope to be that for other women out there who are silently suffering from PCOS.

Let us talk about mental health. What is it? Why is it so important?

I could write for days on mental health. It makes me so happy that we are in a place now that mental health is finally being talked about more openly. For years, going to a therapist meant you were crazy, and mental health equated to something being wrong with you. While we still have a long way to go, I think that definition has slowly been changing.

Mental health, to me, is the ground floor to everything we do in our life. We start cultivating how we react and what we react to from the time we are babies. By watching our parents, environment, and friends, we start creating different habits and behaviors that we take with us into our adult years.

For instance, I watched my mother suffer from low self-esteem for her entire life. She always felt fat and ugly and would go on fad diets to lose weight quickly. She was anxious about everything and had childhood problems that she dealt with unhealthily. While she never meant to give these characteristics to me, they rubbed off nonetheless.

I remember I was eight years old when I first felt fat. It was picture day, and I was wearing a cute purple blouse with denim jeans. When I saw the photos for the first time, I looked at them and noticed a bulge in my stomach that other girls didn’t have. This moment was the first time I felt self-conscious about my body.

Being self-conscious about my appearance started giving me anxiety. I was worried other people were judging my body the way I was, and that made me feel worse. It was a snowball effect that has grown throughout the years.

Everybody has a story about mental health, but we don’t ever talk about it. We will go through life silently suffering because that is what our parents did and what their parents did before that. Instead of fixing myself, I pretended it was normal to feel this way and continued to live life in a constant state of worry and panic.

This mindset can be so easy to take on but can take a lifetime to restructure. My anxiety is one of the reasons my PCOS symptoms worsened over the years. I lost my period, gained weight, and started growing more facial hair. I was living proof that our mental state can change our physical health.

It is so important, in my opinion, to be open and honest about mental health. By sharing these stories and talking about our sadness and anxiety we face, we can start making the topic less taboo. Creating a community of people to talk to can also make us feel less alone. Sometimes the simple act of having your problems heard is enough to help us start our path to bettering ourselves.

Thanks for being real, open, and honest about anxiety, sadness, and the challenges you face. Walk me through the shoes you are wearing?

I’m a firm believer nowadays that being open and honest is the best way to heal yourself. I spent most of my adolescence believing I had to be silent about my emotions. I see now that it was such a toxic mentality to live in, but so many people do.

With social media these days it can feel like everyone has a better life than you. Even my social life can sometimes seem that way. My blog, for example, might look like a woman who has life figured out. However, you don’t see the nights I cried myself to sleep because I was worried I was wasting my time on this dream that would go nowhere.

Nowadays, I like to think I’ve done better at managing these judgmental thoughts that pop up. Especially for this new year, I have made it my mission to focus on my mental health. One of the main ways I do that is managing my PCOS symptoms (which can cause anxiety and depression).

I’ve started eating better, adding needed supplements to my diet, and working out. I’ve also added meditation and yoga into my daily routine. That’s the most significant change in my life, a daily routine. I’ve realized I’m not that person who can go with the flow every day. Structure and routine help me feel in control. In turn, this routine helps me manage my stress levels.

I’m not happy every day all the time; no one is. I have bad days and good days. There are still days where I wake up and have anxiety creep up and tell me I’m not good enough. However, now I’m more aware of when this happens and force myself to do something to get out of that mentality before it consumes my entire day.

I personally find writing cathartic. How about you? Has it helped with your PCOS?

I agree wholeheartedly with this. I’ve always been a writer and will always write until my last day on this planet. Even if it makes no sense, putting words to paper has always helped me get out of my head and find some clarity. I sometimes get so deep in my anxiety bubble that it can be hard to find a way out. By writing, I can start to unravel all the thoughts in my head and see the source of the struggle or pain I am going through.

Personally, I think everyone should write. You don’t need to create a novel or share it with the public, but put words to paper. It doesn’t even have to make sense. When my dad left my family, I remember going through a phase of pure hatred for the man. Though it was probably a good thing he left, I was enraged that he would up and leave his entire family without any remorse.

I spent years hating him and feeling exhausted from the pain he was causing me. Then one day I decided to write him a letter. It was pages upon pages of how he made me feel, how I felt he failed me as a father and everything I could never tell him to his face. At the end of it, I felt elated. It was like writing it out made it drift off my shoulders and onto the page.

It was that day that I forgave him. I don’t believe he was ever supposed to be a father. I could see this now that I had moved the curtain of hatred from my mind. I never sent him this letter. It was never really meant for him, but for me to move on from the pain of that entire situation.

Writing gave me the perspective I needed in that situation and so many others. For others, it might be painting a picture or playing an instrument. I think art, in general, is cathartic because it allows you to share emotions you might’ve never known you had.

I loved your article 7 ways to feel sexier. I honestly think you are beautiful. Why did you feel you were a slob?

Thank you! I was actually extremely nervous posting that article. With how much hate people get for saying the wrong thing, I felt like that article might hit people the wrong way. As if I was telling people they weren’t beautiful the way they were. It’s funny, but I feel like body positivity is such a great and bad thing these days.

I think it’s so beautiful that we are now teaching girls and boys to accept themselves and love their bodies. They should! We are all so beautiful and unique and should celebrate that on a daily. However, I feel like this body positivity can also make people feel guilty for not loving themselves every second of every day.

I find myself feeling self-conscious about my weight only to feel guilty about feeling that way. It’s a vicious cycle that can be hard to get out of once started. If the best thing I can say to myself is, “I am alive and breathing,” then that is okay. I don’t know a single soul who feels sexy every moment of their life.

While I’m so much happier now and have learned to love my body, I still have days where I feel ugly. I’ll look in the mirror and hate what I see staring back at me for no reason. I might always struggle with this, and that is okay too. It’s definitely a journey to break down old behaviors and learn new ones like self-acceptance.

I wrote 7 Ways to Feel Sexier for those people out there who are on that journey as well. Sometimes it can be difficult at the moment to see our beauty. Those small things like fixing your hair or buying a new outfit can help show that inner critic that you are beautiful and deserving of these things.

We all feel down and sick at times. What are some of the tricks we can use to fight this state of thinking?

First off, I think knowing that we all feel that way is such a great trick to fight that state of thinking. By knowing you are not alone in your thoughts and emotions can sometimes be enough to push you out of that frame of mind. This past year I’ve probably done the most transformation when it comes to my mental health.

What kicked it off, believe it or not, was a book titled The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck by Mark Manson. It was the first self-help book I had ever read, and it opened a door for me to look at myself differently. He discusses how we have the choice to react to things and that no one else can choose that for us.

Let’s say someone just dented your car. You can become mad about the fact or choose to stay calm. It sounds so simple and so complicated at the same time, but it really did empower me to look at things differently. I think reading these self-improvement books are a great way to get you out of your head and changing perspectives.

A lot of the time, we just need a new perspective to get out of those toxic emotions. I think whatever can help you get out of your head is an excellent tool for feeling better. This could be as simple as watching one of your favorite movies to reading a book or going on a walk.

Recently, I have found exercising to be quite cathartic for me. When I’m feeling down on myself, I’ll put on some workout clothes, and either follow a workout video or go on a jog. It might sound cheesy, but that pain and sweat I get from working out can feel so rewarding. I know I’m doing something good for myself, and it makes me happier.

How important is it for us to become intentional about dealing with our mental health?

I think putting a focus on our mental health is possibly the most important thing we could do. When we are in a constant state of anxiety and worry, we stop caring about everything around us. I watched this impact an aunt of mine to the point that she was unable to pay her bills, have relationships with others, and she barely even got up off the couch for days on end.

When we don’t feel our best, we stop caring about everything else. We’ll survive for the sake of surviving. So many people spend their entire life doing this without realizing that there is more to life than just surviving.

Health is essential, whether it is physical or mental. When you neglect one, the other will start to deteriorate as well. We all deserve to live a happy and authentic life. However, you cannot achieve that without a little work, self-love, and patience with yourself.

Congrats on your engagement. Talk to me about how this has changed you as a person. Are you still looking for perfection in a relationship?

Thank you! We’ve been dating for a little over seven years, so I’m definitely excited for this new stage in our lives. It might sound so silly, but my fiancé has completely changed my life. He is the main reason I am talking with you about mental health and living a fulfilled life. I never thought I could ever pursue a career in writing because I had told myself years ago I was not good enough.

He has always pushed me to follow my dreams and, while it sounds so simple, has given me encouragement on the smallest of accomplishments. Not to blame my family, but accomplishing something was never praised. It was when you did something terrible that you got any notice.

I think the simplicity of him praising me when I chose to start blogging or when I got my first subscriber helped push me to do more and not get too down on myself. It also is a great feeling to know someone unconditionally loves you and chose to do so. By knowing someone could find a reason to love me forever gave me the capacity to love myself.

Our relationship is not a romance film, though. I think I learned in this relationship that there is no such thing as perfection in a relationship, and that is actually a good thing. I feel like a lot of marriages and relationships end because people think it is supposed to be easy. While it shouldn’t be a constant upward battle, a relationship is going to take work.

However, this work has also helped us grow together. We face obstacles together and come out stronger. We take turns pushing each other to do things to better our lives, even if we sometimes don’t want to do them but need to. I’ll get angry with my fiancé for forcing me to take a risk, but feel so grateful afterward that he pushed me to do so.

You learn to compromise on matters that don’t mean as much to you for your partner. I’ve learned what it feels like to love someone enough to want what is best for them, even if that meant not being with me. Luckily, however, he does want to be with me, and I’m so excited to start this new chapter of life.

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