Skye Sauchelli is the founder of Thriving and Inspiring a personal development blog. Skye’s mission in life is to serve others. She is passionate about assisting others so they feel valued and worthy. Skye offers encouragement and inspiration through her blog and believes that inner health and wellness can position people to inspire positive change in the world. Her passion for encouraging positive mental health has led her to co-create a group called Jump into Joy, a self-discovery and empowerment curriculum for young girls. Skye co-facilitates sessions for girls in the community that focus on topics relevant to the real-world challenges they face.

Skye considers herself to be a beach girl who loves Jesus, tea, chocolate, and cats.  Wife and proud mama of two kitties and a rescue pup.

Skye and I are part of a few blogger groups and I have always admired her giving and encouraging spirit.

In this interview, Skye talks about focusing on life, gratitude, self-care, mental health, preventing burn out and the advantages of being authentic.

Skye, you say There is beauty in the unfinished because your direction has yet to be determined. Please comment.

Being unfinished, whether a project or simply the spot you’re at in life, can be beautiful, and even fun. What…? Yes, the lack of “perfectness” can be good.

Your life, or whatever you’re working on, will never come together perfectly and exactly as planned. In fact, you’ll waste a lot of manpower trying to make everything just right.

Lately, I’ve been learning that it’s okay to give something rest and allow space for a little clarity. It’s okay and allowed to get back to things later. The pressure you put on yourself to find perfection and completeness can eat up your creativity and ability to flex and adjust.

Your life is not in shambles or “a mess” because it’s not coming together the way you wanted, or if you’re not where you think you “should be.” You’re actually doing it right, you’re living in the midst of and despite all the unforeseen obstacles.

If you can come to accept that the changing and editing that comes along with unexpected surprises in life is all a part of the process, you’ll find a heck of a lot more fulfillment along the way!

What you can really celebrate is the fact that you have the power to create the life you want to live! That’s why the middle, the midst, the unfinished, the messy, is so beautiful! Because you have options and choices ahead of you that allow you to change course in the direction you want to go!

I love the fact that you talk about self-care and burnout. Talk to me about some of the ways we can prevent burnout.

Burnout is REAL and you’re not immune to it, unfortunately.

The goal is for you to employ preventative measures BEFORE you get to a place of burnout, not after.

If you can recognize when you’re close to entering burnout, you can use strategies to combat it.

How do you know you’re close to burnout? You have a lack of desire for that thing, you think about the source of stress even when you’re not around it, you have less motivation than you used to, or you feel like you’re just going through the motions.

My favorite way to prevent burnout, and what’s worked wonders for me, is what I call a “relax night.” Pick one day out of the week when you commit to a few hours of nothing.

For me, Thursday evenings are full of nothing but sitting my butt on the couch and watching my favorite show with my husband, eating my favorite snack, and sipping tea. I don’t allow myself to do ANY chores on Thursday nights. I don’t make any plans on Thursday nights. I always leave them open just for me.

So pick a chunk of hours each week, ideally the same time every week, but that may not work for some. Be as consistent as you can. Pick a day and time you can really commit to. And an amount of time that’s realistic.

Maybe you can only give yourself 30 minutes. That’s totally fine, and better than 0 minutes!

Hold that time sacred. Treat it like an important meeting and don’t schedule anything over that time block.

What if you can’t spare 30 minutes or an hour, or a whole evening?

That brings me to my next tip to prevent burnout.

Do something small for yourself every single day. Yes, every single day.

Block out 5-10, or maybe 15 minutes, to do something that brings you joy!

Some examples from my life include: taking a bike ride around the neighborhood, setting a timer and reading for 15 minutes, doing an eye or face mask, a 10-minute yoga flow, walking my dog, sipping tea in the sunroom, mediating by listening to a quick Youtube video.

By engaging in one quick activity daily that brings you joy, you’re telling yourself that you are worth feeling joy and worth paying attention to each day!

I am a big fan of focusing on gratitude. Walk me through what gratitude is.

I stinking love gratitude! It’s like living in a perpetual state of Thanksgiving!  It’s simply focusing on and bringing notice to things you’re grateful for! When we pay attention to the things in our life that we are thankful for, we’re better able to recognize more and more things!

The point in a way is to shift our perspective to one of gratitude. I find that focusing on gratitude is most helpful because it allows me to take any day, however bad or frustrating it was, and frame it in a better light.

Every night, I write in my gratitude journal. It’s nothing fancy, just a simple planner with lines for each date. I jot down a handful of things that I’m grateful for specifically from that day.

This nightly practice has allowed me to move beyond being grateful for the basics (like food, a home, and my family and friends- which is great, don’t get me wrong) and pulling out specific things from each day.

Even if I’ve had the worst day, ending it by pulling small pieces of gratitude allows me to end the day realizing it was a good one!

You talk a lot about prayer. I want to know more.

Prayer plays a significant role in my life. And if you’re new to it, I have a whole blog post on the basics!

I pray because my faith is a huge part of my life. When I was new to my faith I wasn’t quite sure how or what to pray.

But as I’ve grown, I’ve realized there’s no wrong way to talk to God. It’s just about talking openly to Him. He knows your struggles already but wants you to come to Him and lean on Him for the support!

I’ve learned recently that it’s even okay to be angry and frustrated with God and let Him know! (You don’t hear that much, huh?!) But truly, those feelings are legitimate and it’s good to be truly raw with God.

The beautiful thing is He meets you where you’re at.

I’ve been using my morning commute as my prayer time, and sure I go through peaks and valleys in my faith and prayer life, but I find that having a dedicated time to pray is super helpful! And I just pray what’s on my mind. I thank and praise him, I ask for things, and I repent of things I’ve done that don’t honor Him.

It’s just talking to him, and there’s no need to get caught up in any “rules” or think it’s intimidating. It’s really freeing to open your heart each day to Him.

So often we have limiting beliefs. I face that myself. How can we overcome this?

Limiting beliefs are the bane of our existence, aren’t they?

They can really take root in our minds and we can begin to think they’re facts.

My absolute favorite way to overcome limiting beliefs is to challenge them instantly. Now, this takes effort and intention.

Every time you have a limiting belief (like I’ll never be able to start my own small business or I’ll never be able to stick to this whole healthy lifestyle thing and workout a few days a week), you immediately challenge it by questioning if it’s really TRUE or not.

It’s almost never true. Our limiting beliefs are just fears and worries and insecurities we have that seep into our headspace.

If you can get in the habit of asking yourself: “Is that ACTUALLY true?” after each limiting belief pops into your head, you’ll be able to slowly but surely weed them out.

It’s definitely an ongoing process, but a worthwhile pursuit for sure!

I love authenticity in people. What is it about being authentic that is so attractive?

Ahhh, authenticity! Think about a person in your life who you really just click with. Why do you think you get along so well with them? It’s likely because they’re just REAL. They’re absolutely, unapologetically authentic. They know who they are and they don’t try to be anyone else.

That’s what makes authenticity so special. Authentic people are sure of themselves, confident in who they are, and most importantly, love who they are!

Isn’t that the goal? To be confident in our own skin and to love the person we are? What we want then, is to be authentic!

To be comfortable with YOU, you have to work on lots of things like confidence building, self-talk, body image, and self-worth. These things are honestly my passion. I love helping women become empowered to be their full and best and authentic selves.

Because when we are our best selves, we live a life full of joy, contentment, gratitude, and fulfillment!

Individualism is destroying us. I believe in a strong and vibrant community. We are made to be in healthy relationships. How can we find this community?

We are absolutely made for the community! That’s what I strive to create on my blog- a community of women who are seeking growth within themselves, looking for support and to support others, and creating relationships that are deep and meaningful!

It’s a lot harder in this post-Covid, very virtual world to make and maintain connections! Yes, the virtualness of our world does provide opportunities for connections you may have never had otherwise, but I think a balance of virtual and in-person connections and community is key.

I’ll say, I found a lot of support in Facebook groups (for me blogging groups, but for you it could be crocheting groups or whatever else you’re into!). I felt very lonely on my journey until I joined a few groups with genuinely supportive members.

Virtually, I also joined a bible study that allowed me to find community with fellow Christian women! Then I branched out even more and took a 4-week training that allowed me to sit with and story-tell with others all around the country! How fun!

It’s all about going out on a limb and joining things virtually that may be out of your comfort zone at first. That’s where I’ve found the most rewarding and fruitful connections online!

In-person, I’d say we can find community by doing what we love!

If you love walking in nature, I’d be willing to bet some other local people do too. Take yourself to the local park or trail and walk! You’re bound to see the same friendly faces over and over, and maybe that’s how you meet your new walking buddy!

Maybe you love Pilates so you start going to a weekly class. Guess what?! There are other women there who also love Pilates, and are maybe looking for a workout partner.

Whatever it is, birdwatching, painting, baking, engaging in activities you love and connections will follow!

My last tip for in-person connections is to join a group of some sort. Maybe it’s a church or a specific bible study group. Maybe it’s a mommy and me club or a hiking group. Put yourself out there and you’d be shocked how many others are seeking and desiring the same connections you are!

Boundaries are important for mental health, self-care, and preventing burnout. Give me some examples of how we can create boundaries.

Creating boundaries is one of the trickier parts of working on ourselves.

I find the best way to create boundaries is to clearly define the boundaries to those around you as they come up.

There’s no need to spew off our newfound boundaries to anyone and everyone at any random time. This doesn’t have the same power as when we are mindful and thoughtful about how and when we bring new boundaries to light.

If a circumstance arises that calls on you to implement and employ a new boundary you set, my best advice is to communicate it kindly and clearly to the people involved.

If you’ve created a new boundary for yourself that involves putting your phone away at 9 PM every night, but your boss or your bestie gets upset with you for not answering their late-night request right away, that’s the time to communicate your boundary.

You may say something like, “I’ve actually decided to stop using my phone at a certain point at night to create some much-needed space in my life. Moving forward, I’ll happily answer you the next morning, but no earlier. Thank you for respecting my space.”

Communicating boundaries can be the most uncomfortable part, but the more open we are about them, the more people will recognize and respect them.

Lastly, you have to respect your own boundaries before others respect them, so do your best to stick to them!

What does women’s empowerment mean to you?

Empowerment is a big word with a lot of meaning (especially to me)! I feel so strongly about it, I created a community girls’ group to teach it!

Women empowerment is about confidently embracing you and working toward becoming your best self. Empowerment is about building up all the versions of yourself and working toward unapologetic confidence in who you are.

I’ve seen many women seek empowerment in the areas of body image, self-esteem, career, and overall confidence. To me, women’s empowerment means accepting where we’re at in all of these areas, while also desiring and working toward growth.

Talk to me about the city you live in and the food scene.

I live in a quaint little town that has tons of history. It was founded in the late 1600s, believe it or not! It’s situated near tons of water, and there are a handful of sweet little bay beaches in seemingly every direction.

It’s full of festivals in the warmer months, and the traditions run deep. We have a yearly festival where people come from all over, we do a huge fireworks display, parades, and more.

My favorite part of our small town is the old-fashioned Stewart’s Root Beer Restaurant directly across from the town lake. It feels small and quiet, even when the summer crowds flock in since we’re just 20 minutes from the Atlantic Ocean and stunning beaches.

What I like about the food scene is that it’s minimal. There are plenty of mom-and-pop places and very few chains. There are restaurants overlooking the water, ones tucked away in the forest, and everything in between. There’s fancy and uber casual.

And the whole town basically goes to sleep around 10 PM. Things aren’t open super late. I actually love when I come home late and I’m the only car in sight waiting for the light to change.

I live in a small town, but one that’s incredibly alive and fun. Many of us know each other, but there are still roads I haven’t been down yet.

The post Skye Sauchelli: Serve Others appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

In a world often dominated by self-interest and noise, it’s refreshing to meet someone whose heart beats for the poor, the marginalized, and the unseen. Rochelle is one such voice. At just 24, she’s already traveled across continents to help build homes, support communities affected by HIV, and raise awareness about mental health. Passionate, compassionate, and grounded in her Christian faith, Rochelle is currently pursuing her master’s degree with a laser focus on poverty alleviation.

Born to a Tamil mother from Sri Lanka and an English father from the UK, Rochelle brings a unique and vibrant cultural perspective to everything she does. She’s a musician, a speaker, a budding songwriter, and a relentless advocate for those in need — both across the globe and in her own backyard.

I had the pleasure of interviewing Rochelle for my blog series on Millennials making a difference. What follows is a raw and inspiring conversation about what drives her, what she’s learned, and what gives her hope.

Let’s dive in.

Rochelle, thanks for being willing to be interviewed on my blog regarding Millennials. Please tell my audience a little about you.

My name is Rochelle and I am 24 years old. I am half Tamil (my mom is from Karampon, Kayts, Sri Lanka) and half English (my dad is from Southampton, England). I am the youngest of four siblings; I have three older brothers. I am a Christian; my hope and my identity are found in Jesus Christ. I love to travel, learn languages, volunteer to reduce poverty, learn about different cultures, play sports, and play music.

What is so exciting about you that I need to know?

Ever since I was a kid, I’ve had a passion for poverty alleviation. I would always see commercials on television of kids in Africa asking for help. Growing up, my family sponsored a girl in Zambia named Sharon. In grade 7, my class speech was on the genocide in Darfur, Sudan. I held a school fundraiser to raise money for the victims of the war. We kept an empty water jug near the school kitchen where people could spare their change after purchasing milk cartons. The fundraiser was called ‘Change for Change’.

In 2011, I had a burning desire to go to Africa and see things for myself. My parents told me “you can only go if you pay for the trip yourself”. In other words, they thought it wouldn’t happen since I didn’t have a source of income. And so, I got a little creative….and held a fundraiser dance. I rented out a banquet hall and my friends and I invited everyone we knew. Tickets were sold for $10 each. I raised enough money to travel to Kenya with my brother, Nick.

We registered with ‘International Volunteer Head Quarters’, a global organization that connects volunteers with local organizations to reduce poverty. They connected us to an organization called ‘the Fadhili Community’ in Kibera, Kenya. Kibera is one of the largest slums in Africa. We were volunteers in an HIV program. We visited many people living with HIV; we listened as they shared their stories and we supported them. One of our tasks was to pack maize and beans into bags to deliver to them. Many of these individuals could not support themselves; they relied on the food that the Fadhili Community gave them. It really broke my heart to hear their poverty stories and witness the struggles they endured.

In 2013, I helped build a house for a family in Santa Fe, Argentina with an organization called “Un Techo para mi País” which translates to “A Roof for my Country”.

My passion for poverty alleviation remains and I plan to continue looking for ways to make a sustainable impact in the lives of those who are less fortunate.

Talk to me about your passion for music.

I started playing the piano when I was about 7. I took the classical route – I completed the Grade 8 Royal Conservatory of Music. In 2011, I started playing the keyboard in my church band (Warden Full Gospel Assembly). This got me interested in contemporary piano. I started taking contemporary lessons and began songwriting. I wrote a couple of songs but never considered myself a ‘songwriter’.

Years later, I started singing my song at work and my coworker showed interest in my music. He lent me his iRig and showed me how to use GarageBand. Together, we produced the song entitled ‘Hope Song’.

The first step to becoming a songwriter is to call yourself a songwriter. Recently I brought a guitar and plan to learn how to play. Learning the basics has given me a greater appreciation for guitarists, to say the least.

Help me understand your experience growing up as a mixed-race kid?

Although I am familiar with my background and cultural traditions, I am not as in tune as I would like to be. All my cousins on my mom’s side can speak Tamil except for us, mixed kids.

Growing up, I definitely missed out on a lot of jokes, especially at family parties – there have been so many moments where my mom, cousins, aunts, and uncles would laugh hysterically and I would have to wait for someone to clue me in. But let me tell you, jokes are usually not as funny when they are translated into English and explained.

I am beginning to learn Tamil, whereas my cousins are practically fluent. Recently, I took an introductory Tamil course. I learned how to write the letters of the alphabet, how to pronounce them, and how to write at a very basic level. What I realized is that Tamil is a language you learn at home – not by studying. If you don’t learn Tamil from your parents while growing up, it is very difficult to learn. Why? Because it is hard to find a textbook or app that can clearly explain the rules of the language. There’s no Rosetta Stone for Tamil, no Duolingo for Tamil, and no grammar books that I have found. Lately, my mom has been teaching me. My mom will say something in Tamil and write it down for me in Tamil, that way I can save it for later and memorize it on my own.

I have not been to Sri Lanka, but I’ve been to England a few times…. Beer, football, Coronation Street, a cup of tea, pinch and a punch, and attempting to put on a British accent …. That’s my British side in a nutshell

I want to know about your passion for mental health.

I am really passionate about mental health. I give talks on mental health at high schools and universities in the GTA through an organization called ‘Jack.org’. I think it is difficult for our generation to be vulnerable and open with each other… a lot of times I feel people wear a mask, hiding their thoughts and feelings.

Nowadays, 1 in 4 people suffer from mental illness…

Mental illnesses are often not visible and many of us have friends that suffer from mental illnesses yet we don’t even know it. One thing I find is that people minimize mental illnesses – assuming what it’s like or what it feels like … thinking their experience is not so bad…this is detrimental for those who are suffering will not feel understood and those supporting will not support effectively.

Never judge, always listen, don’t offer advice, be available, ask the hard questions, follow up and ask how they’re doing, and don’t share your story when they’re sharing theirs because they are not equivalent

What are some things that previous generations missed out on?

Technology and social media.

The fact that we can effortlessly deposit a cheque, order food, get an Uber, or pay for something using Apple wallet…. Phones have basically made us lazy and efficient at the same time. The fact that our credit card details are saved on our phones results in spending more money. Fact that I can message someone on Facebook that I haven’t seen in 10 years, or view someone’s Instagram story to know what they’re up to. When was the last time you called someone? We rather send a text than make a phone call. We don’t remember anyone’s phone number anymore; we wouldn’t remember anyone’s birthday if it wasn’t for Facebook. We can google absolutely anything – and our phones are basically always attached to us – so we basically are know-it-alls… except we choose to google the silliest things and waste 4 hours a day on our phones according to the ‘screen time’ app.

Tell me a good joke.

What did one hat say to the other? You stay here. I’ll go on ahead.

The post Poverty Alleviation: The Future Muhammad Yunus appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

This post is deeply personal and painful. It’s about loss, memory, guilt, and ultimately—healing. It’s about a friend I lost too soon, a time in my life when the world was full of possibilities, and how a single phone call decades later helped release me from years of unanswered questions and silent torment.

Suicide is not just an ending—it leaves ripples that never quite settle. As Phil Donahue once said, “Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.” But for those left behind, the problem becomes permanent too.

This is not a lecture. It’s a journey. A story of friendship, regret, rediscovery, and letting go. It’s for anyone who’s ever wondered “what if,” or carried the weight of a loss they couldn’t explain. It’s for those who feel alone in their struggles—and a reminder that healing often begins when we face the demons we’ve spent years trying to avoid.

You’ll seldom experience regret for anything that you’ve done. It is what you haven’t done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear. Do it! Develop an appreciation for the present moment. Seize every second of your life and savor it. Value your present moments. Using them up in any self-defeating ways means you’ve lost them forever – Wayne Dyer

There is often in people to whom ‘the worst’ has happened almost transcendent freedom, for they have faced ‘the worst’ and survived it -Carol Pearson

Skeletons in the closet

We all have skeletons in the closet. Those things we hide from everyone. We do not want anyone to know about it. It is in the attic. The best locks protect it.

Disappointments

Disappointments have a major effect on us. The tall, dark, handsome husband walked out on you. The model, who was so lithe and lissome left you for another man. The high school quarterback who was so romantic, now after two decades of marriage is a fat slob. The career is going nowhere. The business deal fell through. Married but cannot have kids. The list goes on.

Have you ever had a demon? A chimera so huge that even an army could not slay.

I was living the dream life. I was barely a teenager and in my first-year university in Switzerland. I had finished my stage (co-op placement, internship) at Hotel De la Paix in Geneva and with all the tips, I was loaded.

I always wanted to backpack Europe.

I had three free weeks before the second year and I flew first class to London.

I registered at the youth hostel and hit the London Tube. On my very first day after the second stop, I get a tap on the shoulder. I look back and it is S. Sidha. ‘Hey Jerry, do you remember me, from BCS’.

You see in boarding school I remembered juniors by three criteria:

Those that had cute sister’s at Auckland, Convent of Jesus and Mary, St Bede’s or somewhere else

Those that were foreigners like me at school

The Christians as there were only 5 of us

Sidha with his crispy English accent came under the second category.

‘Of course dude, I remember.’

After a small chat, he told me that my best friend Ajoy Hakim had committed suicide.

Wow! Wow! Wow! Hold on a second.

I met Ajoy in grade 11. Why did we become such good friends? Maybe we were outsiders. He was the teacher’s son. It could be we were both “Christians”. Perhaps we loved books, art, and the theatre.  Maybe I looked at him through different lenses. There were many times, I would question my own presence at BCS.

I remember us going up the mountains. We would light up a Dunhill. We talked about Ayn Rand’s Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged. We were idealists. We would be graduating soon. We were on the cusp of greatness. Freedom at last.

After doing our grade 12 exams, we backpacked India for a month. Nothing prepares you for the Taj Mahal. You study about it. It is deep in your psyche. You transcend into another world. I was only 17 then.

We went to Lucknow. His aunt was the principal of a boarding school. Did I mention a girl’s boarding school?  It was my first exposure to real Mughlai cuisine.

After our short sojourn, it was time to say goodbye. We knew it would be a while before we would see each other. Both of us knew that we would be fighting the establishment that believes in becoming doctors, lawyers, and engineers. Little did I know, that it would be the last time I would see Ajoy.

Early in life, we follow it mapped out by ego, a path of ambition, competition, striving, and achievement. At mid-life, we question the direction we are heading. We yearn to find our true calling. And you have to be willing to meet the demon.

The very thought of going back to visit school brought a shudder up my spine. Did I really want to deal with seeing all the places? Was it worth the trip?

We were the first batch of grade 12. However, we were orphans. No trace of us existed.

I was the president of the Old Cottonian Association in Canada. I did not want to return to school.

As we entered the Facebook world it all changed. I spoke to Arun Sawhney and got the ball rolling. He told me he never went back to school for ten years. He was escaping. Nevertheless, in life, you have to face your demons. You have to be that David and cut the head of Goliath. Look at the positive and focus on that.

Asheesh Santram’s email was the deal maker. He talked about renewing our bonds.

I called him.  He was Ajoy’s cousin. He gave me the breakdown of what had happened. I felt like he was the psychotherapist. One by one, he was breaking down the tendons and letting the blood flow. The blood brings rich nutrients that result in healing. I am not sure why I waited that long to make the call. He provided me with Anup Hakim’s cell number.

Anup was Ajoy’s older brother. He was teaching at school. I called him. This was the catharsis. Anup did not recognize me at first. However, he got it. He called me the boy who was always with Ajoy. We talked about how he had directed both the plays for Lefroy House.

We laughed about many issues. I finally asked him about his parents. He explained to me the whole story. He was not sure whether to take his parents’ accident a positive or negative. Would he have abandoned them when they became old and fragile?

I finally asked him about Ajoy. I told him this issue had bogged me for a quarter of a century. I was trying to track him down all along. It was refreshing to talk to Anup. He was the surgeon who had taken the thorn from my flesh.

I finally let it go. I was free from the bondage of guilt. I had felt like Hercules carrying this weight. It felt light.

Only ten of us graduated from grade 12. After seven years, three had died. In my grade 11 picture, I am standing between the other three.

I have stopped asking why. I deal with what now.

In life, we go through experiences to keep us humble. Hubris is a cousin of success.

The oven bakes you to add flavor. To become a butterfly the larvae have to break through the cocoon. We have to go through storms. It helps us appreciate things better.

I was looking at BCS through myopic eyes. One cannot let one incident mar your view. I cannot paint the whole canvas with one stroke. I was looking at the glass half empty.

I forgot to mention that I met one of my closest friends Ash Virk. Anup Bhalaik was one of the nicest persons I have ever come across.

Life is an art as much as a science. It is a marathon, not a sprint. Sometimes in our youth, the cabal judges us by that sprint.

BCS was an experience that embedded our names and lives into history. We are concatenated. I look forward to the renewing of bonds and reawaken the good that came from school.

The post How to Deal With a Friends Suicide appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.