What is the meaning of life?

I have known Mayple Dorrington since I started my career at Scotia Bank. Mayple was Director, Communications and Change Management at Scotia Bank.  Mayple recently wrote a book called Finding: The Oasis in my Soul. It is a journal, an encouraging journey through the spectrum of real-life experiences of trials and triumphs. As you read her book, you can relate to it. You will see a reflection of your own experiences. The book asks some relevant questions about having an empty void within us, do we have doubts about our gifts, weaknesses,  our purpose, and our identity?

I am a big fan of gratitude, and this book challenges my thinking to transform my mind and to get a deeper conviction of love and purpose in my life. If you are struggling with insecurity, fear, uncertainty, or anxiety, get the book, become empowered, lead an authentic life, and transform yourself into what you are intended to be.  This is the first of a two-part interview.

Mayple, a true honor to have you talk to four columns. Tell my audience a little bit about you?

Jerry, firstly I want to thank you for the opportunity to participate in your blog. I’m deeply honored to be having this dialogue with you and your audience.

Born on the beautiful island of Jamaica I grew up in a happy, loving family cushioned in a viable business environment.   The business became a casualty following the aftermath of the 1970s economic downturn in my country and the outcome later triggered my family’s immigration to another beautiful country, Canada. With a business mindset, I later pursued that area of study and embarked on an amazing career in the financial industry that spanned 3 continents with direct access to over 27 countries.  Alongside my banking occupation of choice, I am an author and a motivational speaker.  My professional designations include an economist, chartered banker, high school teacher and a personal financial planner.

I am a devout Christian who anchored my beliefs, decisions, and hope in the power of the risen Jesus Christ.  With my teaching discipline, I constantly volunteer my skills for mentoring and coaching and by my mentees’ own admission, I have the knack to identify, develop and empower countless persons in reaching their personal goals.

Having said that, my passion is primarily centered around the relationships I forged working with people drawn from across the globe and living in the most multicultural city in the world. Through these experiences, I learned how to coexist with people, understand their behaviors, outlook, and preferences, and dispense greater tolerance, acceptance, and compassion in helping others. An area that keeps me growing is to intentionally embrace the power of mindfulness. This awareness constantly provokes and inspires me to challenge my mind, peel away layers of obscurity, to look deeper and wider for insights toward the path in finding truths.

Finding: The oasis in my soul. It is an intense name for a book. How did the book come about? What is the main message? Who is the audience? What is unique and different about the message?  

Jerry, there’s lots to unpack here… yes,  the name is indeed intense. You may notice I deliberately said “Finding” and not “Find” or “Found” because it’s a journey, not a destination. My book chronicles an inspiring journey through the lens of my real-life experiences of trials and triumphs and using what I have been through to come to a place of what I now know for sure.

Strangely the genesis of my book was drawn from my wanderlust nature.  Traveling to many countries, living amongst diverse nationalities, and conversing with numerous people from different walks of life, age, and outlook; hearing their stories, the many dreams realized, the hardships overcame, and bouncing back from mistakes, I realized how much we all have in common.

I wrote the book to expose our human commonality and to express how I cultivate the power to confront and stare down the debilitating state of uncertainty, worry, and fear.  How like myself, we can overcome our shortcomings and elevate our talents and self-worth to be the best.

During my speaking engagements, after sharing my story, which is often intertwined with slices from the lives of many others, seeing the visceral reaction of agreement from my diverse audience, I validated how we all want to feel valued, loved, and accepted. The main point is to have a positive self-image of not who I am, but who God intended me to be.  How I claim truth and confidence from the backdrop of biblical examples of trust, faith, and obedience.  Each chapter illustrates a meaningful life experience, which is brutally frank about what I learned, the impact of the practical application, and my spiritual transformation. Each reader will walk away with valuable nuggets to build their confidence and self-worth.

My core objective and the key message are to challenge the readers’ thinking and arouse a sense of gratitude, wonder, and introspection, allowing us to draw from an ever-renewing Oasis where we can replace worry, fear, and doubt with the joyful assurance of God’s promises and faithfulness.

The feedback has been overwhelmingly positive that this is exactly the response it evokes. I painted a graphic picture of my experiences, whether illness, a hero to zero career moves, friendship betrayal, family choices, to be transformed, to come to a place of rest, not a place of stop, but resting on the dependence and assurance of God’s love while seeking new adventures to spread my wings.  The overarching message may not be unique or different, but it’s worth reinforcing to keep us building self-awareness on how we can draw inspiration and hope from seemingly common encounters and events in our lives. It about seeing and acknowledging God’s love and handiwork in all aspects of our lives.

Explain to me what does women’s empowerment means to you?    

Empowerment is about acting on my own volition, having options, having the autonomy to make choices.  Really, Jerry, it’s to emancipate me from the sense of powerlessness, to become self-determined, being able to take charge of my life by owning my decisions, circumstances, hopes, and dreams, growing stronger, wiser, and more confident.

Having said that, for me, I do not believe women’s empowerment is independent of the influence of men. I strongly believe men and women were created with different, but complementary traits. When working in unity, we unleash the freedom to both look outward, naturally curious in opening ourselves to the universe, feeling supported to take risks, and to reimagine possibilities based on the imagery of how to think, rather than the limitation of what to think.

I have countless examples of gender neutrality during brainstorming, problem-solving, and trouble-shooting that delivered the optimum results, mainly because women are allowed the latitude, civility, and respect to explore and articulate their thoughts without judgment or fear. This type of liberation allows me to embrace and benefit from a diversity of thoughts; to see ideas from various points of view, despite differences reaching common ground, by filtering everything through what is pleasing to God. Why, because like all good things, true and authentic empowerment comes from honoring the will of God.

I am a big fan of being authentic and leading a transparent life. Help me understand what you mean by living an authentic life?    

Yes, Jerry, authentic and transparent are two buzz words presently tossed around a lot! Irrespective of the scholarly definition, at the core, this is about living one’s truth, what we know for sure, which can be shaped by our many experiences.

For me, it is when my values and beliefs are compatible with the integrity of my doctrine, actions, and words. It’s about self-awareness, knowing myself at a deep level, accepting my multi-faceted traits, my strengths, and imperfections; having the desire to continuously grow as I reconcile my good, bad and ugly qualities, which are common to all of us. I find that oftentimes, with increasing societal pressure, we lean into what the world prescribed as a success.  Whether to gain wealth, fame, alter our appearance or job aspiration, we can compromise who we are created to be which often leads to self-loathing, and unhappiness.

To justify my point, let’s take a look at the billions in revenue generated from cosmetic industries, fake content, scamming, Ponzi schemes, and the like. You see, in our humanness, our hearts are deceitful, full of pride, and can easily trap us in a state of denial and falseness to elevate ourselves. I am not immune to this pretense, but growing in spiritual maturity and wisdom, I try to be deliberate in not allowing this malignant state to frighten or paralyze me, but to be powered by my dependence on the spirit God graciously places within us.  As I summon the courage to live from a place of acceptance, growth, humility, and inner peace, only then, I can be the best expression of myself, which will be evident to impact others as I attract, influence, and sustain meaningful relationships.

The post Mayple Dorrington: Finding the Meaning of Life appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

I love the word shero. Grammarly, Microsoft Word, and many dictionaries do not have it in their lexicon. Urban Dictionary defines it as a man or woman who supports and respects women’s issues and rights.

Women continue to face reticent foes along their journey towards gender equality. The bias and preconceptions are intrinsic and inbred. These innate and congenital injustices are a hindrance to women who want to rise and make a difference.

I have always raised my daughter to be independent financially, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. I have empowered her to make her own decisions from an early age. I have told her that she can become whatever she wants. She wants to pursue art. I have told her to go for it and become a professor and teach. I want her to build a dynamic and vibrant social capital that will be the spring that takes her to another level. I am intentional in everything I do with and for her. I am real and vulnerable around her. I have cried in front of her.

Dr. Barbara Green is the author of a fascinating book called The Inevitable Rise of the Shero Nation. Her thesis is brilliant. She lays the groundwork. I cannot remember the last time I was trembling when I read a book. She talks about the ‘silent adversaries’ that women battle daily. I love how she talks about female world leaders fighting COVID versus that of their male counterparts. The book is riveting.

I asked Dr. Barbara Green some questions. Read this interview a couple of times. Learn from it. Dr. Barbara Green is talking about women and the daily challenges they face on a daily basis.

Dr. Green, it is a pleasure to have you on Four Columns. Talk to me a little about you? 

I am a mother, author, financial advisor, and advocate for the furtherance of gender equality. My book, The Inevitable Rise of the Shero Nation is an evidence-based book that reveals the silent adversaries that we have relentlessly battled over the ages in our quest for gender equality. It also charts a historic timeline of key events and phenomenal women who masterminded them.

The Inevitable Rise of the Shero Nation is a fascinating book. Please walk me through the book? What is it about? Why should we read it in the 21st century?

Deeply ingrained gender-role prejudice continues to play the most significant role in how women rise to positions of power and influence. Even women of ordinary status find themselves faced with gender-centric challenges and hindrances. The way we raise our daughters plays a major part in the perpetuation of these role prejudices. This book examines how gender-related influences have evolved throughout history reflecting on social and cultural norms. It is a roadmap that depicts how 21st-century women can rewrite the playbook and take control of their destinies and become modern-day Sheroes. Today, women can crush socially manufactured stereotypes by building social capital from birth. My book explains the idea and power behind social capital and how to use it to change stereotypes and micro-inequities.

I want to understand the concept of being divinely selected and divinely favored?

Because we are the birthers of life, we are divinely selected for that task. A woman is divinely selected to be the emotional stability for the child, she creates their first bonds of love and influences them even in the womb. Deliberate parenting is talked about in my book. It expresses the power parents have to give children the tools they need to succeed, boy or girl!

You talk a lot about identifying pain points and the social and cultural challenges that women face. Are those still prevalent in Western society?

The pain points that women face are still relevant today. Take microinequities; Some men (even some women) may not even realize that they treat a woman leader differently than a man. For example, in a meeting when a man is speaking, all the men in the room are more likely to pay attention. When a woman speaks, men tend to start looking at their phones, get up and get coffee, and zone out. Micro inequities are subconscious yet still prevalent! Another real pain point is the theory regarding emotion. Men seem to think that women are too emotional and let their emotions take over in certain situations. The evidence shows though that both men and women are emotional, they just have different ways of expressing it outwardly.

Are you describing leaving a legacy when you talk about passing a wealth of self-reflection, responsibility, and family tradition to our children?

Yes. For me, wealth has many forms. The wealth of traditions, wealth of knowledge, financial and spiritual wealth. We need all of these in my opinion. My motto for my family is called “3-deep” This means that each generation is to pass “wealth” 3 generations deep and teach the next generation the same motto. This means that I am not done until I have provided for my children’s-children.

Millennial women are outperforming their male counterparts in high schools and universities across North America. Please explain why this is happening?

Young millennial women are more focused and determined than most of the men at their age. This does Not mean men are not intelligent, their focus in their twenties tends to be laxer. Also, women are no longer being raised to want to get married and have families like in the old days. They also know that there are gender inequities, and they have to be as strong and educated as possible. That same pressure is not often felt by men. This is showing up in the number of men versus women who attend college.

You have a Doctorate and master’s in business. Was the theory based on diversity, women empowerment, bringing women to the table, and giving them a voice?

The theories described in my book reveal gender inequities that exist as cultural and societal norms. Understanding these theories will empower women to avoid traps and make more deliberate steps in the eradication of gender-related inequalities.

Women are breaking the glass ceiling in every area of society. Are there any gaps?

There are still gaps but not the same types of gaps. The gaps now appear in the form of the “glass cliff”: the placing of women in leadership positions with companies that are in precarious positions with a high degree of probability of failure.

My daughter turns 17 in March. Talk to this generation of women about the capability to do anything they want?

Not every woman will realize right away that she is destined to be a shero while she evolves into her place. But like that woman, you should travel your individual path with confidence. Rest assured that your past, present, and future experiences will cultivate the shero in you. Therefore, continue to work hard, stand your ground, push through all the obstacles, and support fellow sheroes while pressing forward to get to your destination. When added to the collective shero movement, your individual perseverance strengthens the force of evolutionary tides making an even more formidable force. I challenge every person who reads this book to search deep within and find yourself in the words on these pages. Broaden your view of the challenges we face. Recognize that we (you and our fellow sisters) are destined to overcome and stand in our rightful place in this society and the world. Bring your shero within to the surface!

After 2020, many of us are hurting. Give my audience hope?

I take pleasure in knowing that I used my voice to acknowledge and salute the shero in you and the inevitable rise of the Shero Nation. This evolution can be likened to a wave-building momentum far out in the ocean. When it is moving towards land with the pull of gravity and a force only God can stop, it will certainly reach the shores! I am glad we are joined together as women in this evolution! Let this book be our roadmap, an eye-opener, and our epiphany to what is going on right in front of us. As we fully engage in the movement, the momentum will increase. As we engage in our journey, it is best to see the road clearly before us. Let this book be your guide to seeing and facing obstacles with deliberate purpose as you better understand the hurdles that may cause you to stumble.

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