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	<title>#life Archives - Four Columns of a Balanced Life</title>
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		<title>Finding Peace in a Chaotic World</title>
		<link>https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/finding-peace-in-a-chaotic-world/</link>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[admin]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 13 Mar 2025 18:20:47 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Faith]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#faith]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#happiness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#meditation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#peace]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[love]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/?p=29286</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<img width="300" height="157" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/Untitled-Design-300x157.png" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="" style="display: block; margin: auto; margin-bottom: 5px;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" decoding="async" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/Untitled-Design-300x157.png 300w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/Untitled-Design-1024x536.png 1024w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/Untitled-Design-768x402.png 768w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/Untitled-Design-760x400.png 760w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/Untitled-Design.png 1200w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /><p>Finding peace in a chaotic world of 24/7, hustle culture, always on the treadmill, political instability, and destination syndrome can be challenging. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, compassion, gentleness, humility, authenticity, and self-control are universally appreciated qualities beyond approach. These qualities are valued because they contribute positively to&#160;<a class="read-more" href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/finding-peace-in-a-chaotic-world/">&#8230;</a></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/finding-peace-in-a-chaotic-world/">Finding Peace in a Chaotic World</a> appeared first on <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com">Four Columns of a Balanced Life</a>.</p>
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										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<img width="300" height="157" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/Untitled-Design-300x157.png" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="" style="display: block; margin: auto; margin-bottom: 5px;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" decoding="async" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/Untitled-Design-300x157.png 300w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/Untitled-Design-1024x536.png 1024w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/Untitled-Design-768x402.png 768w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/Untitled-Design-760x400.png 760w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/Untitled-Design.png 1200w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /><p>Finding peace in a chaotic world of 24/7, hustle culture, always on the treadmill, political instability, and destination syndrome can be challenging.</p>
<p><a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/empowered-unconditional-love/">Love</a>, <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/joy/">joy</a>, peace, <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/what-is-patience/">patience</a>, <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/act-of-kindness/">kindness</a>, goodness, faithfulness, compassion, gentleness, <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/humility/">humility</a>, <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/authenticity/">authenticity</a>, and self-control are universally appreciated qualities beyond approach.</p>
<p>These qualities are valued because they contribute positively to interpersonal relationships and society. They foster environments where understanding, cooperation, and harmony are more likely to flourish. Cultivating these traits can lead to a more peaceful and productive coexistence, and indeed, there are no laws against such virtues because they universally promote social good. They transcend cultural and legal boundaries, highlighting a shared human aspiration towards a kinder and more compassionate society.</p>
<h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong>What is Peace</strong></h4>
<p data-start="0" data-end="180">Peace is a state of harmony, calmness, and the absence of conflict—both externally in the world and internally within oneself. Finding peace in a chaotic world can mean different things in various contexts:</p>
<p><strong data-start="185" data-end="203">Personal Peace</strong> – A sense of inner tranquility, contentment, and freedom from stress or anxiety by creating <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/healthy-anger-boundaries-eating/">boundaries</a>.</p>
<p><strong data-start="290" data-end="306">Social Peace</strong> – The absence of conflict or violence in relationships, communities, or societies.</p>
<p><strong data-start="395" data-end="411">Global Peace</strong> – The absence of war and conflict between nations, promoting cooperation, justice, and mutual respect.</p>
<p><strong data-start="520" data-end="539">Spiritual Peace</strong> – A deep sense of fulfillment, connection, and alignment with one&#8217;s beliefs or purpose.</p>
<p data-start="631" data-end="788" data-is-last-node="" data-is-only-node="">Finding peace in a chaotic world comes from understanding, acceptance, and the ability to navigate challenges with wisdom rather than hostility. Consider how wisdom can help us find peace in a chaotic world. I have listed a lot of soul-searching questions. If you want to find peace answer them truthfully.</p>
<h4 style="text-align: center;" data-start="631" data-end="788"><strong data-start="244" data-end="278">Personal Peace</strong></h4>
<p>Personal peace is an inner state of calm, balance, and contentment, regardless of external circumstances. It means being free from excessive stress, fear, or internal conflict and feeling emotionally, mentally, and spiritually grounded.</p>
<p><strong data-start="284" data-end="303">Self-Acceptance</strong> – Have you accepted yourself including your strengths and flaws? Are you always comparing yourself to others? Are you always looking at social media and realizing your life does not match those of influencers? Are you leading an <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/authenticity/">authentic</a> life?</p>
<p><strong data-start="379" data-end="402">Emotional Stability</strong> – What would your friends, family, and co-workers say regarding your emotions? Are you emotionally intelligent? Is anger, bitterness, resentment, or anxiety controlling your emotions?</p>
<p><strong data-start="492" data-end="518">Mindfulness </strong><span style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><strong>and Presence:</strong> Are you living in the <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/yoga-meditation-and-mindfulness-benefits/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">moment</a> and <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/attitude-of-gratitude/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">grateful,</a> or are you focusing on the past and worrying</span> about the future?</p>
<p><strong data-start="593" data-end="608">Forgiveness</strong> – <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/to-err-is-human-to-forgive-divine/">Forgiveness</a> has to be a key part of achieving peace. Letting go of grudges and resentments lightens your emotional burden.</p>
<p><strong data-start="687" data-end="708">Purpose &amp; Meaning</strong> – <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/define-your-why/">Define your why</a>. Align everything you do with your values and purpose in life.</p>
<p><strong data-start="770" data-end="792">Healthy Boundaries</strong> – Protect yourself and your mental and emotional well-being from negativity and toxic influences.</p>
<p data-start="884" data-end="1056" data-is-last-node="" data-is-only-node="">Finding peace in a chaotic world does not mean avoiding challenges but rather handling them with clarity and <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/resilience-stress-management/">resilience</a>. It’s a journey, not a destination.</p>
<h4 style="text-align: center;" data-start="884" data-end="1056"><strong>Social Peace</strong></h4>
<p>Finding social peace in chaotic times requires continuous effort from individuals, communities, and governments. It starts with personal peace but extends to how we interact with others. I am going to focus on the effort of the individual.</p>
<p><strong data-start="362" data-end="385">Respect &amp; Tolerance</strong> – Do you respect and tolerate those who think and act differently from you? Do you treat them with dignity? Do your social media posts reflect <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/empowered-unconditional-love/">love</a>, grace, and mercy?</p>
<p><strong data-start="449" data-end="471">Justice &amp; Fairness</strong> – Do your actions reflect and ensure equality, human rights, and social justice for all? Are you honest and transparent even if it is inconvenient? Are you treating everyone equally irrespective of race, gender, religion, or social status?</p>
<p><strong data-start="540" data-end="563">Conflict Resolution</strong> – Deal with disputes through dialogue, negotiation, or mediation instead of violence. Come with an open mind. Listen to understand rather than speak. Find common ground for understanding. Define the problem, look at options, and see if a compromise is possible. The most important factor is that you have to be patient and practice empathy and self-control.</p>
<h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong>Global Peace</strong></h4>
<p data-start="0" data-end="307">Global peace is a state of harmony among nations and people in which conflicts are resolved through diplomacy and cooperation rather than violence or war.</p>
<p data-start="0" data-end="307">As individuals, we do have a role to play by voting. We need to protect freedom, equality, and dignity for all people and focus on respecting diverse beliefs, traditions, and ways of life.</p>
<p data-start="1062" data-end="1258">Global peace is not just the absence of war; it is the presence of justice, opportunity, and mutual respect.</p>
<h4 style="text-align: center;" data-start="235" data-end="276"><strong data-start="239" data-end="274">Spiritual Peace</strong></h4>
<p><strong data-start="0" data-end="19">Spiritual peace</strong> is a deep sense of inner harmony, fulfillment, and connection with something greater than oneself. It goes beyond external circumstances and is rooted in faith, purpose, and a sense of belonging in the universe.</p>
<p><strong data-start="280" data-end="308">Inner Calm &amp; Tranquility</strong> – Are you at peace regardless of life&#8217;s challenges?  Peace does not mean the absence of struggles but having God’s presence in the midst of them. <em data-start="2084" data-end="2103">Philippians 4:6-7</em> – Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.</p>
<p><strong data-start="366" data-end="400">Connection with a Higher Power</strong> – Do you find strength and guidance through faith or spirituality? <em data-start="239" data-end="247">Shalom</em> is more than just the absence of conflict; it represents completeness, wholeness, and harmony. The Talmud says that peace is so important that even truth can be set aside to preserve it (<em data-start="797" data-end="806">Yevamot</em> 65b).</p>
<p><strong data-start="469" data-end="490">Purpose &amp; Meaning</strong> – Do you know your role in life and feel aligned with a greater purpose? The Upanishads suggest that true peace is achieved when individuals align themselves with the universal order (<em data-start="951" data-end="956">Rta</em>).</p>
<p><strong data-start="575" data-end="602">Gratitude &amp; Contentment</strong> – Are you appreciating life and finding joy in the present moment? Gratitude transcends cultures, religions, and philosophies, making it a universal spiritual quality.</p>
<p><strong data-start="757" data-end="778">Compassion &amp; Love</strong> – Are you embracing kindness and seeing others with understanding and empathy? Islam recognizes diversity and encourages peaceful coexistence: <em data-start="1871" data-end="1993">&#8220;O mankind, We have created you from a male and a female and made you peoples and tribes that you may know one another.&#8221;</em> (Quran 49:13).</p>
<p data-start="853" data-end="1053">Peace is essential for a society to thrive because it fosters stability, prosperity, and overall well-being.</p>
<p data-start="853" data-end="1053"><img fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" class="alignnone size-large wp-image-29321" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/Untitled-Design-1-683x1024.png" alt="" width="683" height="1024" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/Untitled-Design-1-683x1024.png 683w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/Untitled-Design-1-200x300.png 200w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/Untitled-Design-1-768x1152.png 768w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/Untitled-Design-1.png 1000w" sizes="(max-width: 683px) 100vw, 683px" /></p>
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		<title>Compassion: A universal law</title>
		<link>https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/compassion/</link>
					<comments>https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/compassion/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[admin]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 28 Aug 2024 13:25:01 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Faith]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#compassion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#hope]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#kindness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#peace]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#wisdom]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[patience]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/?p=28751</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<img width="300" height="157" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/Untitled-Design-2-300x157.png" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="" style="display: block; margin: auto; margin-bottom: 5px;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" decoding="async" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/Untitled-Design-2-300x157.png 300w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/Untitled-Design-2-1024x536.png 1024w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/Untitled-Design-2-768x402.png 768w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/Untitled-Design-2-760x400.png 760w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/Untitled-Design-2.png 1200w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /><p>Compassion is a deep and complex human emotion, a trait that is instinctual and cultivated and plays a pivotal role in the social fabric of our lives.  It is more than just empathy or sympathy. It is a deep awareness of the suffering of another,&#160;<a class="read-more" href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/compassion/">&#8230;</a></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/compassion/">Compassion: A universal law</a> appeared first on <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com">Four Columns of a Balanced Life</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<img width="300" height="157" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/Untitled-Design-2-300x157.png" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="" style="display: block; margin: auto; margin-bottom: 5px;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" decoding="async" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/Untitled-Design-2-300x157.png 300w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/Untitled-Design-2-1024x536.png 1024w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/Untitled-Design-2-768x402.png 768w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/Untitled-Design-2-760x400.png 760w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/Untitled-Design-2.png 1200w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /><div class="sticky top-0 juice:p-3 mb-1.5 flex items-center justify-between z-10 h-14 p-2 font-semibold bg-token-main-surface-primary">
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<p class="gizmo-bot-avatar flex h-6 w-6 items-center justify-center overflow-hidden rounded-full juice:h-8 juice:w-8">Compassion is a deep and complex human emotion, a trait that is instinctual and cultivated and plays a pivotal role in the social fabric of our lives.  It is more than just empathy or sympathy. It is a deep awareness of the suffering of another, coupled with the desire to alleviate that suffering. This powerful sentiment transcends cultural, religious, and societal boundaries, fundamental to human connection and moral integrity.</p>
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<p><a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/empowered-unconditional-love/">Love</a>, <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/joy/">joy</a>, peace, <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/what-is-patience/">patience</a>, <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/act-of-kindness/">kindness</a>, goodness, faithfulness, compassion, gentleness, <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/humility/">humility</a>, <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/authenticity/">authenticity</a>, and self-control are universally appreciated qualities beyond approach.</p>
<p>These qualities are valued because they contribute positively to interpersonal relationships and society. They foster environments where understanding, cooperation, and harmony are more likely to flourish. Cultivating these traits can lead to a more peaceful and productive coexistence, and indeed, there are no laws against such virtues because they universally promote social good. They transcend cultural and legal boundaries, highlighting a shared human aspiration towards a kinder and more compassionate society.</p>
<p>Over the next few weeks, I will focus on these universal qualities and see how they can empower us to be better human beings.</p>
<h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong>Quotes</strong></h4>
<p>More smiling, less worrying. More compassion, less judgment. More blessed, less stressed. More love, less hate. ― <span class="authorOrTitle">Roy T. Bennett</span></p>
<p>Compassion is the basis of morality. ― <span class="authorOrTitle">Arthur Schopenhauer</span></p>
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<p>Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive. ― <span class="authorOrTitle">Dalai Lama XIV</span></p>
<h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong>What is Compassion</strong></h4>
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<p>Compassion involves recognizing the pain or difficulty that another person is experiencing and feeling a genuine concern for their well-being. This emotional response often motivates people to take action to help others, whether through small acts of kindness or larger efforts to address systemic issues. It is rooted in humility and the understanding that suffering is a universal human experience.</p>
<h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong>Compassion in Action to Empower</strong></h4>
<p>Compassion manifests in many ways, from small, everyday gestures to grand humanitarian efforts. You can show it by listening to a friend, offering comforting words, or helping. These small acts, while seemingly insignificant, can profoundly impact the recipient, providing your friend the support and reassurance they need to get through difficult times.</p>
<p>On a larger scale, compassion drives people to engage in charitable work, volunteerism, and advocacy for social justice. It motivates individuals and organizations to address poverty, inequality, and human rights abuses.</p>
<p>Recent studies in neuroscience and psychology have shown that it is not just a social or moral construct but has deep biological roots. The brain’s response to compassion involves areas that are also activated when we experience pleasure or receive rewards, suggesting that acts of compassion are intrinsically rewarding.</p>
<p>Moreover, research has indicated that it can improve mental and physical health. Individuals who regularly engage in compassionate behavior tend to experience lower levels of stress, reduced symptoms of depression, and greater overall well-being.</p>
<h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong>Self-Care</strong></h4>
<p>An important but often overlooked aspect of compassion is self-compassion, the ability to be kind and understanding toward oneself during times of failure or suffering. Many people find it easier to extend it to others than to themselves, but self-compassion is crucial for overall well-being. It involves recognizing that imperfection and difficulty are part of the human experience and treating oneself with the same care and concern that one would offer to a friend.</p>
<h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong>Compassion in a Global Context</strong></h4>
<p>In a world increasingly interconnected by technology and global issues, compassion has never been more important. The challenges we face—such as climate change, pandemics, and social inequality—require collective action and a compassionate response that transcends borders. Global compassion involves recognizing the shared struggles of people across the world and taking action to support those who are most vulnerable.</p>
<p>To combat compassion fatigue, it is essential to focus on the positive impact that compassionate actions can have, no matter how small. It is also important to practice self-care and seek support from others when the emotional burden becomes too great. By maintaining a balance between awareness and action, individuals can continue to contribute to a more compassionate world without becoming overwhelmed.</p>
<h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong>The Role of Compassion in Relationships</strong></h4>
<p>Compassion plays a crucial role in building and maintaining healthy relationships. Whether in friendships, family dynamics, or romantic partnerships, compassion fosters understanding, trust, and mutual support. When people approach their relationships with others, they are more likely to listen empathetically, forgive mistakes, and offer help when needed.</p>
<p>In conflicts, compassion can serve as a bridge to reconciliation. By taking the time to understand the other person’s perspective and responding with kindness rather than anger, conflicts can be resolved more peacefully and constructively.</p>
<h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong>The Challenges of Compassion</strong></h4>
<p>Despite its many benefits, compassion is not always easy to practice. It can be difficult to maintain in the face of personal stress, burnout, or when dealing with individuals who may be challenging or harmful.</p>
<p>One of the challenges is finding the balance between caring for others and caring for oneself. Overextending oneself in the service of others can lead to burnout and resentment, which can undermine the very compassion one is trying to cultivate. It is important to set boundaries and recognize one’s limits, ensuring that compassionate actions are sustainable and do not come at the cost of one’s well-being.</p>
<h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong>How to cultivate it</strong></h4>
<p>Cultivating compassion requires both intention and practice. It involves developing an awareness of others&#8217; experiences, practicing empathy, and taking action to alleviate suffering. This process can be supported by various practices, such as mindfulness, meditation, and engaging in acts of kindness.</p>
<p>Mindfulness involves being present in the moment and aware of one&#8217;s thoughts, feelings, and surroundings. By practicing mindfulness, individuals can become more attuned to the experiences of others and more aware of opportunities to practice compassion. Meditation practices, such as loving-kindness meditation, can also help cultivate a compassionate mindset by encouraging individuals to focus on the well-being of others.</p>
<p>Engaging in regular acts of kindness, whether big or small, can also help build compassion. These acts can be as simple as offering a smile to a stranger, helping a neighbor with groceries, or volunteering at a local charity. By making compassion a regular part of one’s life, it becomes a natural and instinctive response to the world around us.</p>
<p>Compassion is a fundamental human trait that connects us with others and drives us to act for the greater good. It is a powerful force for personal fulfillment, social harmony, and global change. While practicing it can be challenging at times, it is also deeply rewarding and essential for a thriving society. By cultivating compassion in ourselves and encouraging it in others, we can create a more caring, just, and connected world.</p>
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		<title>Act of Kindness</title>
		<link>https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/act-of-kindness/</link>
					<comments>https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/act-of-kindness/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[admin]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 27 Jun 2024 19:06:57 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Faith]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#bekind]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#compassion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#happiness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#kindness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#kindnessmatters]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#motivation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#peace]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#positivity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[love]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/?p=28572</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<img width="300" height="157" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Untitled-Design-2-300x157.png" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="" style="display: block; margin: auto; margin-bottom: 5px;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" decoding="async" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Untitled-Design-2-300x157.png 300w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Untitled-Design-2-1024x536.png 1024w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Untitled-Design-2-768x402.png 768w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Untitled-Design-2-760x400.png 760w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Untitled-Design-2.png 1200w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /><p>An act of kindness is any selfless action performed to benefit another person without expecting anything in return. Soul Soup in Toms River, New Jersey, offers free meals to those in need every Monday. Community Fridges, stocked by volunteers, have been popping up in cities&#160;<a class="read-more" href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/act-of-kindness/">&#8230;</a></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/act-of-kindness/">Act of Kindness</a> appeared first on <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com">Four Columns of a Balanced Life</a>.</p>
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										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<img width="300" height="157" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Untitled-Design-2-300x157.png" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="" style="display: block; margin: auto; margin-bottom: 5px;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" decoding="async" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Untitled-Design-2-300x157.png 300w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Untitled-Design-2-1024x536.png 1024w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Untitled-Design-2-768x402.png 768w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Untitled-Design-2-760x400.png 760w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Untitled-Design-2.png 1200w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /><div class="sticky top-0 juice:p-3 mb-1.5 flex items-center justify-between z-10 h-14 p-2 font-semibold bg-token-main-surface-primary">
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<p class="relative p-1 rounded-sm flex items-center justify-center bg-token-main-surface-primary text-token-text-primary h-8 w-8">An act of kindness is any selfless action performed to benefit another person without expecting anything in return. <em>Soul Soup</em> in Toms River, New Jersey, offers free meals to those in need every Monday. <em>Community Fridges</em>, stocked by volunteers, have been popping up in cities to provide free food to those in need. <em>Habitat for Humanity</em> brings together volunteers to build affordable housing for those in need. <em>Pencils of Promise</em> ensures children have access to quality education to help break the cycle of poverty.</p>
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<p>An act of kindness whether big or small, can have a profound impact on individuals and communities around the world.</p>
<p><a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/empowered-unconditional-love/">Love</a>, <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/joy/">joy</a>, peace, <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/what-is-patience/">patience</a>, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/compassion/">compassion</a>, gentleness, <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/humility/">humility</a>, <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/authenticity/">authenticity</a>, and self-control are universally appreciated qualities beyond approach.</p>
<p>These qualities are valued because they contribute positively to interpersonal relationships and society. They foster environments where understanding, cooperation, and harmony are more likely to flourish. Cultivating these traits can lead to a more peaceful and productive coexistence, and indeed, there are no laws against such virtues because they universally promote social good. They transcend cultural and legal boundaries, highlighting a shared human aspiration towards a kinder and more compassionate society.</p>
<p>Over the next few weeks, I will focus on these universal qualities and see how they can empower us to be better human beings.</p>
<h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong>Quotes on Kindness</strong></h4>
<p>Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around &#8211; Leo Buscalgia</p>
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<p>Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate &#8211; Albert Schweitzer</p>
<p>Carry out a random act of kindness, with no expectation of reward, safe in the knowledge that one day someone might do the same for you &#8211; Princess Diana</p>
<p>A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees &#8211; Amelia Earhart</p>
<h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong>What is Kindness</strong></h4>
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<p>Kindness is a quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate. It involves actions or behaviors meant to benefit others, often without expecting anything in return.  An act of kindness includes compassion, empathy, altruism, respect, patience, understanding, support, encouragement, forgiveness, and generosity.</p>
<p>An act of kindness is often seen as a fundamental aspect of human interaction that can foster strong relationships, build communities, and improve the overall well-being of individuals and society.</p>
<p><img decoding="async" class="alignnone size-large wp-image-28628" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Untitled-Design-1-1-683x1024.png" alt="" width="683" height="1024" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Untitled-Design-1-1-683x1024.png 683w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Untitled-Design-1-1-200x300.png 200w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Untitled-Design-1-1-768x1152.png 768w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Untitled-Design-1-1.png 1000w" sizes="(max-width: 683px) 100vw, 683px" /></p>
<h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong>The benefits of performing an act of kindness</strong></h4>
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<p class="flex">When you do an act of kindness, you boost your mood, reduce stress, and enhance your overall sense of happiness. Kindness triggers the release of feel-good hormones like serotonin and endorphins. An act of kindness can increase your self-esteem and confidence, as you feel a sense of purpose and contribution. Try it. Go out there and do an act of kindness.</p>
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<p>Kindness fosters trust and strengthens relationships. It helps build deeper connections with family, friends, and colleagues.  Kindness often inspires others to be kind, creating a cycle of positive behavior that benefits everyone involved. If you want to be a game changer at work, in your neighborhood, and practice kindness.</p>
<p>Kindness helps build strong, supportive communities where people look out for one another and reduce bullying, discrimination, and other negative behaviors. Kindness acknowledges each individual&#8217;s shared humanity and inherent worth, reinforcing the moral principle of treating others as you would like to be treated.</p>
<p>Many philosophies and religions emphasize the moral duty to be kind, viewing it as a fundamental aspect of ethical living.</p>
<h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong>How an act of kindness impacts the individual and the community</strong></h4>
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<p class="items-center justify-start rounded-xl p-1 z-10 -mt-1 bg-token-main-surface-primary md:absolute md:border md:border-token-border-light md:hidden">Acts of kindness can provide emotional support, making people feel valued, loved, and less alone. This can be particularly impactful during times of stress or hardship.</p>
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<p>An act of kindness like volunteering at local shelters, food banks, or community centers fosters trust and cooperation within a community. It builds stronger, more connected relationships among community members. If you help a neighbor with groceries, shovel their walkway, or offer a ride, strengthen neighborhood bonds. This positivity can encourage more residents to engage and participate in community activities.</p>
<p>I strongly recommend shopping locally and supporting small businesses to help sustain the local economy and create a more vibrant community. Initiating or participating in community programs that provide safe spaces for marginalized groups promotes inclusivity and respect.</p>
<p>In summary, kindness benefits the individuals directly involved and enhances the overall quality of life within the community. It promotes a culture of empathy, cooperation, and mutual support, leading to a more harmonious and thriving society.</p>
<h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong>Kindness and Spiritual Traditions</strong></h4>
<p>Kindness and spirituality are deeply interconnected, as many spiritual traditions and philosophies emphasize the importance of compassion, empathy, and love for others.</p>
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<p>Many spiritual paths teach that kindness is a universal principle that transcends cultural and religious boundaries. It&#8217;s seen as a fundamental aspect of human goodness and morality. Spirituality often emphasizes the development of compassion and empathy. By understanding and sharing the feelings of others, individuals are inspired to act kindly. Many spiritual beliefs highlight the interconnectedness of all life. Kindness is a natural outcome of recognizing that we are all part of a larger whole and that our actions affect others.</p>
<p><strong>Christianity:</strong> Jesus taught love and kindness, famously stating, &#8220;Love your neighbor as yourself&#8221; (Mark 12:31). Acts of kindness are seen as expressions of one&#8217;s faith and love for God and humanity.</p>
<p><strong>Buddhism:</strong> The concept of &#8220;metta&#8221; (loving-kindness) is central to Buddhist practice. It involves developing unconditional love and compassion for all beings.</p>
<p><strong>Islam:</strong> Kindness is a significant virtue in Islam. The Prophet Muhammad said, &#8220;Kindness is a mark of faith, and whoever is not kind has no faith.&#8221;</p>
<p><strong>Hinduism:</strong> Hindu teachings emphasize &#8220;ahimsa&#8221; (non-violence) and compassion for all living beings. Kindness is seen as a duty and a path to spiritual growth.</p>
<p><strong>Judaism:</strong> The Jewish tradition values &#8220;chesed&#8221; (loving-kindness) and encourages charity, hospitality, and compassion towards others.</p>
<p>An act of kindness aligns with many spiritual teachings, leading to a sense of inner peace and harmony. It reduces inner conflict and fosters a calm, centered mind. It cultivates spiritual growth. It helps individuals develop virtues such as patience, humility, and generosity.</p>
<p>In conclusion, kindness is a cornerstone of many spiritual traditions and practices. It fosters spiritual growth, inner peace, and a sense of connection to others and the divine.</p>
<p><img decoding="async" class="alignnone size-large wp-image-28629" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Untitled-Design-2-1-683x1024.png" alt="" width="683" height="1024" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Untitled-Design-2-1-683x1024.png 683w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Untitled-Design-2-1-200x300.png 200w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Untitled-Design-2-1-768x1152.png 768w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Untitled-Design-2-1.png 1000w" sizes="(max-width: 683px) 100vw, 683px" /></p>
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<h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong>The Biblical Perspective on Kindness</strong></h4>
<p>The Bible places a significant emphasis on kindness, presenting it as a core value and virtue that believers are encouraged to embody.</p>
<p><strong>Matthew 22:37-40:</strong> Jesus states that the greatest commandments are to love God and love your neighbor as yourself. This love is often expressed through acts of kindness and compassion.</p>
<p><strong>Luke 10:25-37:</strong> This parable teaches the importance of showing kindness to others, regardless of their background or circumstances. The Samaritan helps a man in need, illustrating that true neighborly love involves acts of mercy and compassion.</p>
<p><strong>Galatians 5:22-23:</strong> Kindness is listed as one of the fruits of the Spirit, indicating that it is a characteristic that should naturally develop in those who live by the Spirit.</p>
<p><strong>Matthew 7:12:</strong> Jesus teaches, &#8220;So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you.&#8221; Treating others with kindness and respect is central to Christian ethics.</p>
<p><strong>Colossians 3:12:</strong> Believers are instructed to &#8220;clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.&#8221; This metaphor emphasizes that kindness should be an integral part of a Christian&#8217;s character.</p>
<p><strong>1 Corinthians 13:4:</strong> In the famous passage about love, Paul writes, &#8220;Love is patient, love is kind.&#8221; This underscores that kindness is a fundamental aspect of true, selfless love.</p>
<p>As a Christian, your faith needs to have practical implications. Believers are encouraged to be generous and charitable, helping those in need. This reflects God&#8217;s kindness towards humanity. Kindness includes forgiving others, just as God has forgiven us. This is highlighted in the Lord&#8217;s Prayer and various teachings of Jesus. Christians are called to encourage and support one another, building each other up in love and kindness. Showing hospitality, especially to strangers, is a form of kindness that is repeatedly emphasized in the New Testament.</p>
<p>Kindness is a central theme in the Bible, woven throughout its teachings and exemplified in the lives of its characters. It is portrayed as an essential aspect of living a life that is pleasing to God and reflective of His love. By practicing kindness, believers not only obey God&#8217;s commands but also serve as witnesses to His grace and compassion in the world.</p>
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		<title>Unconditional Love in Parenting</title>
		<link>https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/unconditional-love-in-parenting/</link>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[admin]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 13 Feb 2024 19:25:42 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Family]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#happiness]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[#peace #spiritualawakening]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[#unconditionallove]]></category>
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					<description><![CDATA[<img width="300" height="157" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/02/Untitled-Design-2-1-300x157.png" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="" style="display: block; margin: auto; margin-bottom: 5px;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" decoding="async" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/02/Untitled-Design-2-1-300x157.png 300w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/02/Untitled-Design-2-1-1024x536.png 1024w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/02/Untitled-Design-2-1-768x402.png 768w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/02/Untitled-Design-2-1-760x400.png 760w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/02/Untitled-Design-2-1.png 1200w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /><p>Unconditional love in parenting refers to the idea of providing love, acceptance, and support to your child without any conditions or limitations. Unconditional love in parenting means loving your child for who they are, irrespective of their achievements, behavior, or abilities. Unconditional love creates a&#160;<a class="read-more" href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/unconditional-love-in-parenting/">&#8230;</a></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/unconditional-love-in-parenting/">Unconditional Love in Parenting</a> appeared first on <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com">Four Columns of a Balanced Life</a>.</p>
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<p class="relative flex">Unconditional love in parenting refers to the idea of providing love, acceptance, and support to your child without any conditions or limitations. Unconditional love in parenting means loving your child for who they are, irrespective of their achievements, behavior, or abilities. Unconditional love creates a strong and secure emotional foundation for a child, contributing to their overall well-being and development.</p>
<p>Welcome to my series on <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/empowered-unconditional-love/">unconditional love</a> that empowers you. I will be writing on unconditional love in <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/unconditional-for-friends/">friendships</a>, <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/unconditional-love-in-parenting/">parenting</a>,  <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/unconditional-love-at-work/">work</a>, and from a <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/agape-unconditional-love/">Biblical perspective.</a></p>
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<p>My <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/discover-10-life-lessons-my-daughter-has-taught-me-so-far/">daughter</a> has taught me a lot, especially in terms of <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/empower-your-daughter/">empowered love</a>.</p>
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<p>I am going to outline some key aspects of unconditional love in parenting my daughter:</p>
<h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong>Acceptance</strong></h4>
<p>I had to accept my daughter for who she is, embracing her unique personality, strengths, and weaknesses. This acceptance helps children develop a positive self-image and confidence. Recognize that everyone, including yourself, is imperfect. Embrace your flaws and imperfections as part of being human. I had to extend the same acceptance and grace to my daughter.</p>
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<h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong>Non-judgmental attitude</strong></h4>
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<p>Unconditional love in parenting involves avoiding harsh criticism or judgment based on a child&#8217;s actions or mistakes. Instead,  I had to focus on understanding my daughter&#8217;s perspective and offer guidance and support. I also had to cultivate an attitude of curiosity and openness.</p>
<h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong>Support during difficult times</strong></h4>
<p>As a parent, it is important to support your child during difficult times, such as failures, setbacks, or disappointments. Unconditional love involves being there for your child emotionally, helping them navigate challenges, and teaching them <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/resilience-stress-management/">resilience</a>. I had to put myself in my daughter&#8217;s shoes to understand her generation, her perspective, and her experiences. I had to listen actively and without judgment and be sensitive to her emotions and concerns.</p>
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<h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong>Open communication</strong></h4>
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<p>Having open communication allows your child to express their thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment. This fosters a strong parent-child bond and helps you better understand your child&#8217;s needs.</p>
<h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong>Time and attention</strong></h4>
<p>Your child needs your time and commitment more than all the toys and nannies in the world.  Spending quality time with your child demonstrates your commitment and love. Engaging in activities together, listening actively, and being present in their lives strengthens the parent-child relationship.</p>
<h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong>Setting boundaries with unconditional love</strong></h4>
<p>Unconditional love doesn&#8217;t mean being permissive. It involves setting appropriate boundaries and providing guidance with empathy and understanding. Discipline is seen as a way to teach rather than punish.</p>
<h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong>Celebrating achievements</strong></h4>
<p>I attended all her dance shows and school events. While unconditional love is not based on achievements, it&#8217;s important to celebrate your child&#8217;s successes and milestones. This reinforces a positive environment and encourages their personal growth.</p>
<p>Practicing unconditional love in parenting contributes to a child&#8217;s emotional well-being, self-esteem, and overall development. It creates a secure foundation that allows children to explore the world, build healthy relationships, and develop into confident individuals. Keep in mind that while unconditional love is the goal, parenting is a journey with its challenges, and no parent is perfect. What matters is the ongoing effort to create a loving and supportive environment for your child.</p>
<p><img decoding="async" class="alignnone size-large wp-image-27873" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/02/Untitled-Design-3-1-683x1024.png" alt="" width="683" height="1024" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/02/Untitled-Design-3-1-683x1024.png 683w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/02/Untitled-Design-3-1-200x300.png 200w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/02/Untitled-Design-3-1-768x1152.png 768w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/02/Untitled-Design-3-1.png 1000w" sizes="(max-width: 683px) 100vw, 683px" /></p>
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		<title>Live a Life Beyond Fears</title>
		<link>https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/life-beyond-fears/</link>
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		<pubDate>Wed, 13 Dec 2023 13:58:38 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Faith]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[#fear]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#fearless]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[#inspiration]]></category>
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					<description><![CDATA[<img width="300" height="157" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Untitled-Design-9-300x157.png" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="living beyond fears" style="display: block; margin: auto; margin-bottom: 5px;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" decoding="async" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Untitled-Design-9-300x157.png 300w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Untitled-Design-9-1024x536.png 1024w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Untitled-Design-9-768x402.png 768w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Untitled-Design-9-760x400.png 760w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Untitled-Design-9-600x314.png 600w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Untitled-Design-9.png 1200w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /><p>I spent most of my life living in fear, playing it safe and staying well within my comfort zone. Two deaths, close together, helped me to realize that I no longer wanted to spend another moment of my life living in fear and playing it safe</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/life-beyond-fears/">Live a Life Beyond Fears</a> appeared first on <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com">Four Columns of a Balanced Life</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<img width="300" height="157" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Untitled-Design-9-300x157.png" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="living beyond fears" style="display: block; margin: auto; margin-bottom: 5px;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" decoding="async" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Untitled-Design-9-300x157.png 300w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Untitled-Design-9-1024x536.png 1024w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Untitled-Design-9-768x402.png 768w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Untitled-Design-9-760x400.png 760w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Untitled-Design-9-600x314.png 600w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Untitled-Design-9.png 1200w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /><p>Living a life beyond fears is a powerful and transformative journey that involves both self-reflection and intentional action.</p>
<p>It is critical to identify and acknowledge the specific fears that hold you back.  Explore the origins of your fears and understand how they may be rooted in past experiences or limiting beliefs. Embrace the reality of your fears without judgment. Acceptance doesn&#8217;t mean resignation; it means acknowledging your feelings without letting them control you. Challenge and reframe negative thoughts that contribute to your fears. Develop and repeat positive statements that counteract your fears.</p>
<p>Take small, incremental steps to confront your fears rather than trying to overcome them all at once.  Enlist the help of friends, family, or a therapist to provide encouragement and guidance as you face your fears. Instead of viewing failures as roadblocks, see them as opportunities for growth and learning.</p>
<p>Remember that overcoming fear is an ongoing process, and it&#8217;s okay to seek professional help if needed. A therapist or counselor can offer guidance and support as you work towards living a life beyond fear.</p>
<p>Cindy Moore is a unique blogger and has a unique take on life. She focuses on living life beyond fears, limitations, and her comfort zone and embraces a sense of wonderment and adventure. She recently started a healing journey. She changed her<a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/miracle-foods-that-protect-you-from-diseases/"> diet</a> and has become healthy. Cindy shares some amazing experiences and her path to living a fulfilled life.</p>
<p><img decoding="async" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-4809" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/IMG_0926.jpg" alt="live beyond fears" width="640" height="610" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/IMG_0926.jpg 640w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/IMG_0926-300x286.jpg 300w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/IMG_0926-560x534.jpg 560w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/IMG_0926-80x76.jpg 80w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/IMG_0926-600x572.jpg 600w" sizes="(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px" /></p>
<h4><span style="color: #cc99ff;"><strong>Cindy, help me understand what it means when you say you are a woman on a journey and living life beyond fears?</strong></span></h4>
<p>I spent most of my life living in fear, playing it safe, and staying well within my comfort zone. Two deaths, close together, helped me to realize that I no longer wanted to spend another moment of my life living in fear and playing it safe. My journey began as an inner one with facing my fears. My decision to move beyond my comfort zone launched a year of trying a new experience every day. My blogging journey began simultaneously as a way to chronicle those new experiences.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #cc99ff;"><strong>You talk a lot about enchantment, surrender, and inspiration. Break it down for me?</strong></span></h4>
<p>After moving beyond my comfort zone, by trying new experiences, my whole life opened up. I recognized that life is meant to be experienced as a magical or enchanted journey and that the Divine offers help and guidance for that journey. I see life differently than I used to and I see signs and wonders everywhere that delight me and encourage me to keep going. Every day I have ongoing conversations with the Divine that lead me to new people, opportunities, and yes, experiences. Surrender involves letting go of the familiar and allowing myself to be carried, in the “Flow of Life”, to those new people, opportunities, and experiences. It involves trust and builds a sense of adventure. I know I’ve moved out of the flow of life when I feel resistance to an opportunity or experience.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #cc99ff;"><strong>Please explain what it means to live beyond fears, limitations, and comfort zone?</strong></span></h4>
<p>Living Beyond, for me, means to move past those fears, limitations, and comfort zones by trusting that the journey meant for me is for my greatest and highest good and also for the good of others in my life. Fear shuts me down and stops me from moving forward. Living Beyond opens me up to possibilities and expands my thinking and perspective so that I can see life in a bigger way. As fresh opportunities arrive, I say “yes”, which moves me beyond my comfort zone as I try new things. Limitations are old ways of thinking and doing things. Going Beyond means I’m willing to open to new ways of thinking and doing things. Comfort zones keep us safe and also keep us from trying something that feels scary or uncomfortable. I believe in living beyond fears.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #cc99ff;"><strong>Give me some examples of embracing a sense of wonderment and adventure?</strong></span></h4>
<p>Embracing wonderment and adventure means living with a higher awareness of all that is going on in my life and seeing the connectedness of all things. Two years ago, I played a game that I created, in which I wrote 30 different activities on slips of paper and dropped them into a jar. Each day I drew out an activity and did it. What I quickly realized was that the activities, drawn at random, perfectly matched the amount of time I had each day or, amazingly, the weather. I only had two rainy day activities in the jar. I drew both of them on the only two rainy days I had during the month. What are the odds of that? That’s wonderment and that’s trust. It’s also the Divine at work in my life. When I asked the Divine, in amazement, “Do you want to play with me?”, the answer I received back was “Do you want to play with ME?” My answer was YES and my life hasn’t been the same since.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #cc99ff;"><strong>What is the main reason for your blog and what are you trying to achieve?</strong></span></h4>
<p>The purpose of Cindy Goes Beyond is to help readers realize that life can be lived at the edges&#8230;of comfort zones, limitations and fears. We can live BIG lives and experience joy, wonderment, and enchantment if we develop higher awareness. I share posts around nature, gardening, travel, and the inner journey&#8230;all with the intention of helping others to see what an enchanted life looks like.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #cc99ff;"><strong>Talk to me about some challenges you have been through and how you dealt with it and are thriving?</strong></span></h4>
<p>I grew up very fearful of many things. However, my primary fear was to live as the person I was created to be. I am an intuitive and yet I feared my abilities and tried to separate that “weird” part of me from my “normal” self. That didn’t work. It only shut down my creative side. Moving past my fears and accepting myself exactly as I am opened the door to my creative side again. And I moved beyond my fears by facing them and sitting with them and exploring my intuitive side. As I learned more about who I am and what I can do, the fears subsided.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #cc99ff;"><strong>Give yourself some advice when you were 16, 26, and 36?</strong></span></h4>
<p>Age 16: Don’t be in such a hurry to grow up. Spend your teen years getting to know yourself. And don’t be so concerned about what other people think. Be you, without hiding, without pretending to be someone else, just so people will feel comfortable around you. You are afraid because you don’t understand who you are.</p>
<p>Age 26: Enjoy these years with your young family. Encourage your son and daughters to be fully who they are, by showing them who you are. They will follow your example. Continue to invest in yourself by doing the things that bring you joy.</p>
<p>Age 36: This is your time to shine, as a woman. Banish any lingering fears and self-doubts and pursue the life you want. Know fully what your purpose in life is and don’t let anything get in your way as you live from that place of intentional being.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #cc99ff;"><strong>What does women&#8217;s empowerment mean to you?</strong></span></h4>
<p>Empowerment for women starts with complete acceptance of who we are. It’s an inner journey that manifests as an outer journey. We must learn to parent ourselves, if we had bad parents, and love ourselves deeply and fully if our spouses/lovers have not done that for us. We cannot look to others to do these things for us. We set ourselves free, and the people in our lives free, when we do not need acceptance and love to come from outside ourselves. Once we are free, we can help to free others to live extraordinary lives.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #cc99ff;"><strong>Give my female audience three pieces of advice?</strong></span></h4>
<p>Accept yourself completely. The journey to self-love begins with self-acceptance. Love yourself fully by embracing who you are and then really live from that space. Be you&#8230;and find the things that you enjoy doing. That is your passion.</p>
<p>Pursue your passion. Share your passion with others as you journey and you will make a difference in the lives of others.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #cc99ff;"><strong>How important are food, faith, finance, and family to you? How do you find a balance and prioritize among them?</strong></span></h4>
<p>They are all connected. The food we eat provides the building blocks for our bodies. The foods we choose can nourish and heal&#8230;or they can slowly poison us to death by fostering disease. I embraced a plant-based lifestyle three years ago, to heal my body of various ailments. There is no turning back for me. I am healthier than I have ever been and living life beyond fears has helped.</p>
<p>A second blog, Journey With Healthy Me was born from that decision to take charge of my health and help others do the same. I’ve discovered that as I healed, my desire increased to help others heal, and then even further out, I developed a deep desire to heal the planet as well. Faith is extremely important to me. I believe God, or the Divine, guides me daily. I listen through prayer and meditation but I also receive through songs, random conversations, signs, and intuition. Finances, or money, comes as we connect with who we are and do that which we are created to do. My family is my legacy. My children and grandchildren learn by my example and through our conversations. It is important for me to live a joy-filled, enchanted life so that they have “permission” to do the same.</p>
<p><img decoding="async" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-20437" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Untitled-Design-10.png" alt="" width="735" height="1102" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Untitled-Design-10.png 735w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Untitled-Design-10-200x300.png 200w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Untitled-Design-10-683x1024.png 683w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Untitled-Design-10-600x900.png 600w" sizes="(max-width: 735px) 100vw, 735px" /></p>
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		<title>Ten Skills Required to be a Successful Husband</title>
		<link>https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/ten-skills-required-to-be-a-successful-husband/</link>
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		<pubDate>Fri, 18 Feb 2022 05:00:27 +0000</pubDate>
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					<description><![CDATA[<img width="300" height="157" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Untitled-Design-7-300x157.png" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="husband" style="display: block; margin: auto; margin-bottom: 5px;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" decoding="async" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Untitled-Design-7-300x157.png 300w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Untitled-Design-7-1024x536.png 1024w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Untitled-Design-7-768x402.png 768w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Untitled-Design-7-760x400.png 760w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Untitled-Design-7-600x314.png 600w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Untitled-Design-7.png 1200w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /><p>The headlines roared about the closing of a major plant and as a result, more than 3,500 people would be out of a job. The spokesperson for the company said, “The skill sets of those impacted do not line up with the long-term trajectory of&#160;<a class="read-more" href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/ten-skills-required-to-be-a-successful-husband/">&#8230;</a></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/ten-skills-required-to-be-a-successful-husband/">Ten Skills Required to be a Successful Husband</a> appeared first on <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com">Four Columns of a Balanced Life</a>.</p>
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										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<img width="300" height="157" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Untitled-Design-7-300x157.png" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="husband" style="display: block; margin: auto; margin-bottom: 5px;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" decoding="async" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Untitled-Design-7-300x157.png 300w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Untitled-Design-7-1024x536.png 1024w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Untitled-Design-7-768x402.png 768w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Untitled-Design-7-760x400.png 760w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Untitled-Design-7-600x314.png 600w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Untitled-Design-7.png 1200w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /><p>The headlines roared about the closing of a major plant and as a result, more than 3,500 people would be out of a job. The spokesperson for the company said, “The skill sets of those impacted do not line up with the long-term trajectory of the business”. What has this got to do with being a husband?</p>
<p>After that, another expert commented on the situation. His take was: change or die.</p>
<p>As a result of the announcement, it got me thinking. We focus so much on our lives to develop skills to get a job. What about the skill set to be a husband and a father? Does a school even exist to teach us? Our very social fabric depends on this. Wives eventually lay us off in the form of divorce. Kids downsize us by not wanting to spend time with us.</p>
<p>Men are natural boneheads. We are fixers, insensitive, visual, and selfish. These inherent qualities do not help us in the role of a husband.</p>
<p>When I first got <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/interview-with-tara-lalonde-author-of-an-unexpected-freedom-discover-peace-and-joy-in-the-meaning-of-life/">married</a>, I thought I had arrived in heaven. All my problems are resolved. <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/12-diamond-rules-of-marriage/">Marriage</a> is a very<a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/divorce-from-a-financial-perspective/"> expensive</a> place to find out who you are. The <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/10-lessons-in-20-years-that-my-wife-has-taught-me/">spouse</a> is like a mirror. The weaknesses magnify. It is a relationship where you learn by trial and error. You learn as you move along.</p>
<p>Some have a false idea that if they marry someone who practices a certain faith or same ethnic background, it will be different. However, all statistics point in the other direction. Study after study shows that it is no different.</p>
<p>Fatherhood has its joys and its challenges. In a<a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/pastor-mark-strickland-practical-advice-on-dating-and-marriage/"> marriage</a>, you change from focusing on you to us. The equation changes with <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/four-practical-tips-on-how-to-be-great-parents/">children</a>. The shift in family dynamics brings its own ups and downs.</p>
<p>When I come home tired, I just want to switch the TV, eat and just chill. Jean wants me to play. She wants me to listen to how her day went. She wants me to comment on her paintings. Debbie just laughs all along. Most times, it is fun. Sometimes it is all about self-denial.</p>
<p>Change or die rang in my ears. Modern men have to develop a whole set of soft skills. For instance, listening, patience, kindness, gentleness, communicating, cooking, helping with chores, and changing diapers. For those with strong patriarchal backgrounds giving her importance and equality is important.</p>
<p>Here are some important skills to develop to be a husband:</p>
<ul>
<li>Show appreciation</li>
<li>Listen</li>
<li>Do not interrupt</li>
<li>Do not flirt</li>
<li>Have boundaries</li>
<li>Be intentional</li>
<li>Make your marriage a priority</li>
<li>Watch your tongue</li>
<li>Validate her emotions</li>
<li>Be aware of your body language</li>
<li>Be disciplined</li>
<li>Say &#8216;I love you&#8217; daily</li>
<li>Be open to change</li>
<li>Be kind and compassionate</li>
<li>Support her dreams</li>
<li>Character, character character</li>
<li>And finally, remember what Nathaniel Bonner said &#8216;No amount of success is worth personal failure at home&#8217;.</li>
</ul>
<p>End of the day, both roles have made me a better human being. It has made me a balanced person. It has changed my view on life. Jean in all her innocence says I have to become a better listener. She is only 17 years old. I have a long way to go. Children just speak the truth.</p>
<p><img decoding="async" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-16350" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Successful-Husband.png" alt="husband" width="735" height="1102" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Successful-Husband.png 735w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Successful-Husband-200x300.png 200w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Successful-Husband-683x1024.png 683w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Successful-Husband-560x840.png 560w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Successful-Husband-80x120.png 80w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Successful-Husband-600x900.png 600w" sizes="(max-width: 735px) 100vw, 735px" /></p>
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		<title>The Powell&#8217;s: Love Advice</title>
		<link>https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/love-dating-relationship/</link>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[admin]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 14 Feb 2022 05:00:38 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Family]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#couple]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#couplegoals]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#family]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#happy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#happytime]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#romance]]></category>
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					<description><![CDATA[<img width="300" height="157" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/Untitled-Design-2-300x157.png" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="love dating" style="display: block; margin: auto; margin-bottom: 5px;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" decoding="async" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/Untitled-Design-2-300x157.png 300w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/Untitled-Design-2-1024x536.png 1024w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/Untitled-Design-2-768x402.png 768w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/Untitled-Design-2-760x400.png 760w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/Untitled-Design-2-600x314.png 600w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/Untitled-Design-2.png 1200w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /><p>I have known Jessica and Gary Powell for 15 years. Jessica got married at 19. I was in my first-year university. Gary Powell moved to Vancouver to do a master&#8217;s degree. I catch up with them and ask them about their marriage, dating, relationship, and&#160;<a class="read-more" href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/love-dating-relationship/">&#8230;</a></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/love-dating-relationship/">The Powell&#8217;s: Love Advice</a> appeared first on <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com">Four Columns of a Balanced Life</a>.</p>
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										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<img width="300" height="157" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/Untitled-Design-2-300x157.png" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="love dating" style="display: block; margin: auto; margin-bottom: 5px;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" decoding="async" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/Untitled-Design-2-300x157.png 300w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/Untitled-Design-2-1024x536.png 1024w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/Untitled-Design-2-768x402.png 768w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/Untitled-Design-2-760x400.png 760w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/Untitled-Design-2-600x314.png 600w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/Untitled-Design-2.png 1200w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /><p>I have known Jessica and Gary Powell for 15 years. Jessica got married at 19. I was in my first-year university. Gary Powell moved to Vancouver to do a master&#8217;s degree. I catch up with them and ask them about their <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/12-diamond-rules-of-marriage/">marriage</a>, <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/pastor-mark-strickland-practical-advice-on-dating-and-marriage/">dating</a>, relationship, and advice on <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/palladium-vallarta-the-food/">love</a>. Jessica finished the questionnaire early. Gary Powell needed some prodding and he completed it. I would strongly recommend that you read this interview a couple of times. There are so many nuggets in there that can help you deal with dating, love, relationships, and marriage.</p>
<p><img decoding="async" class="alignnone size-large wp-image-3274" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/IMG_0365-769x1024.jpg" alt="Gary and Jessica" width="769" height="1024" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/IMG_0365-769x1024.jpg 769w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/IMG_0365-225x300.jpg 225w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/IMG_0365-768x1023.jpg 768w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/IMG_0365-560x746.jpg 560w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/IMG_0365-80x107.jpg 80w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/IMG_0365-600x799.jpg 600w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/IMG_0365.jpg 1463w" sizes="(max-width: 769px) 100vw, 769px" /></p>
<h4><span style="color: #cc99ff;"><strong>Gary and Jessica welcome to my blog and tell us something important about you?</strong></span></h4>
<p><span style="color: #ff00ff;"><strong>Jessica</strong></span> &#8211; Hi! Thanks for having us! Let’s see, what is something important about us? I guess I would start with what’s most important to us and that is living fully surrendered lives to Jesus. Of course, we often miss the mark on that, but in every aspect of our lives, that is our primary goal. We’ve been <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/interview-with-tara-lalonde-author-of-an-unexpected-freedom-discover-peace-and-joy-in-the-meaning-of-life/">married</a> 15 (almost 16 now!) years, have <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/four-practical-tips-on-how-to-be-great-parents/">three children</a>, and have lived near Vancouver for the last 2.5 years. Before that, we lived in the Toronto area where both Gary and I had grown up.</p>
<p><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>Gary</strong> </span>&#8211; Thanks, Jerry! I’d echo those thoughts from Jess. We are living as believers of Jesus as Lord overall—and doing that together as a family of five now with our three kids. We both shared that deep sense of faith as individuals, which I think helped a lot as we got started into our relationship years ago.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #cc99ff;"><strong>When did you know Gary that Jessica was the one for you? same with you Jessica?</strong></span></h4>
<p><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>Gary</strong></span> &#8211; It took me a while. I had dated a few people in my High School years, and while I knew who Jessica was, I didn’t see her in that way at first. After working together at our local Dairy Queen and getting to know her we began to date. But that’s where the interesting part of this answer comes in: I broke up with Jessica twice in our dating years because I wasn’t sure! I think when I was pursuing her again the third time, I finally realized that there was something different going on here. <img src="https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/17.0.2/72x72/1f642.png" alt="🙂" class="wp-smiley" style="height: 1em; max-height: 1em;" /></p>
<p><span style="color: #ff00ff;"><strong>Jessica</strong></span> &#8211; It’s actually hard to say when exactly I knew, but it was a lot sooner than Gary did, that’s for sure! We were so young when we met—I was only 14—that my first feelings of “he’s the one” can really only be described as a crush. But it was a crush that never went away and just continued to grow until I knew I wanted to live my life with him. I then made the decision to make Gary my “one” for the rest of our lives when I married him—I was 19 and he was 21.</p>
<h4><strong><span style="color: #cc99ff;">I am sure dating was just fine with no problems and everything was smooth&#8230;what were the challenges?</span></strong></h4>
<p><span style="color: #ff00ff;"><strong>Jessica</strong></span> &#8211; Oh goodness, where do we even start? There were so many challenges! The biggest challenge, honestly, was how young we were. No matter how mature you are for your age, there’s just no way around the fact that experience requires time and when you’re in high school, you haven’t lived through very much time yet. Both of us were still figuring out who we were, what we wanted, and how our relationship fit in with all that. As Gary already mentioned, in the two years we dated before getting engaged, we even broke up twice before finally deciding to stay together for good!</p>
<p><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>Gary</strong></span> &#8211; Yeah, I suppose there were some challenges, weren’t there!? As Jess mentioned, our age was a big factor. For me, though, it was more navigating the big feelings from previous romantic relationships. I wanted to focus solely on Jessica and pretend the other relationships didn’t really matter (that they were somehow less important, so I could move on). Let’s just say ignorance is not bliss and suppressing hurt feelings doesn’t bode well for your current relationship!</p>
<h4><span style="color: #cc99ff;"><strong>Marriage changes you forever. How have both of you changed over the years?</strong></span></h4>
<p><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>Gary</strong></span> &#8211; Jessica’s sense of humor has definitely improved since marrying me! But on a more serious note, I’ve been forced to deal with myself and wrestle with my own issues since being married. When you’re by yourself, you can hide and keep pushing things down. It’s not as easy when you’re married. I’m grateful that Jessica hasn’t put up with mediocrity in me and yet is simultaneously committed to staying with me no matter what. I have definitely grown in my capacity and confidence as a human being because of her consistent love and encouragement.</p>
<p><span style="color: #ff00ff;"><strong>Jessica</strong> </span>&#8211; This is one of my favorite things about marriage; it’s such an intense version of Proverbs 27:17: “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” It’s not necessarily always a pleasant experience, but both of us would attest to the fact that marriage has often brought out the worst in us, which is a good thing because then it’s out in the open where we (or more accurately, God!) can deal with it. Of course, we both have to be willing to actually let God deal with it, otherwise, we’re just living with our worst making a mess all around us!</p>
<p>Selfishness, anger, bitterness, lack of faith, impatience, pride—these are just some of the things that marriage (and parenting) have unearthed in my own heart and although I’ve come a long way since we were first married, I’m still always amazed at how many layers there still seem to be!</p>
<p><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>Gary</strong></span> &#8211; Wow, you really have issues, don’t you ;).</p>
<h4><span style="color: #cc99ff;"><strong>Marriage has its ups and downs. However, we have to make it through. Help me understand that in your situation?</strong></span></h4>
<p><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>Gary</strong></span> &#8211; Hmm, I actually think we need to acknowledge that in our society today we <em>don’t</em> have to make it through. It’s so easy to just give up and move on, trading in this relationship for a new one. When we were married, we actually had friends and family giving odds on how many years we would last! (I think it was four…we beat the odds!) I say all that because when we decided to get married, we did it with the caveat that divorce wasn’t an option. While we didn’t know the specific challenges we would face, we knew if there was an “out” we would be more likely to take it. So as best we could, we attempted to remove the potential of the “out” and face the reality of the challenge head-on. Scary, yes. Helpful in the midst of relational storms, definitely!</p>
<p><span style="color: #ff00ff;"><strong>Jessica</strong> </span>&#8211; It’s true, marriage can be really difficult! Two separate individuals are never going to agree on everything. Additionally, being in such an intimate relationship automatically increases the level of vulnerability and sensitivity we have with each other, so there is significantly more risk of hurting one another. We’ve had to get really good at both forgiving—pressing the “reset” button—and at having the humility to say “I’m sorry.” That second one is actually the worst for me. I despise being wrong and I hate admitting it even more! However, we know if we don’t actively practice both confession and forgiveness, resentment will capture our hearts and kill our marriage and family.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #cc99ff;"><strong>Give the younger generation some tips on how to be a good husband/wife and mother/father?</strong></span></h4>
<p><span style="color: #ff00ff;"><strong>Jessica</strong> </span>&#8211; Keep your heart soft and open to God. Seriously, that is 100% the most important requirement for being a good spouse/parent. Not only will this keep you in a position to be continually transformed by Him—something that enables you to reflect Him and His love towards your family—it also serves as the primary motivation behind how you serve your spouse and family. Your spouse will let you down. Your kids will drive you crazy. There will be times when you honestly don’t feel like they deserve your love. God, on the other hand, is always worthy of our love and obedience, and therefore, we can serve our families for <em>His</em> sake even when we don’t feel like doing it for <em>their</em> sake.</p>
<p>In addition to this, you have to surround yourself with a good community. Yes, it’s important to be careful and respectful in how you talk about your spouse with others, but there are always going to be times when you actually need to vent or talk out an issue with someone else. Find the people who will be on the side of your marriage, not those who will just take <em>your</em> side. Keep people around who will listen, give godly advice, pray for you and with you, and who will give you a kick in the right direction in those times when you really need it.</p>
<p><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>Gary</strong></span> &#8211; Yes and yes to Jessica’s points above. I’m not always the peachiest person to live with (right, Jess?) and Jessica’s dedication to obey God by loving me, combined with the support of the community, has definitely been a blessing. I would add a few more. The advice was given to me to “shut up and hug” is generally quite effective. If the conversation is simply an emotional expression and doesn’t need words in response, a hug goes a long way.</p>
<p>As both a spouse and a parent, I also recommend the use of parking lots (or another quiet space) on the way home from work. Take five minutes (and not more) to pull off and transition your mind from work life to home life before you get home. As a parent, be careful with your tone. And one more as a spouse: make the bed. I can think of no other action that takes so little effort and yet has such a great return on investment!</p>
<h4><span style="color: #cc99ff;"><strong>Romance needs to be kept alive in a marriage&#8230;. explain (this is a family blog)?</strong></span></h4>
<p><span style="color: #ff00ff;"><strong>Jessica</strong></span> &#8211; Yes, it does! The problem is, we tend to associate romance with very specific actions, activities, and feelings (especially the fluttery, giddy feelings we get at the beginning of the relationship!). Romance, however, is about excitement and mystery, and even though we may think marriage kills mystery (a thought that usually arrives the first time one of you decides closing the bathroom door is optional), it actually deepens it. Early in our relationship, it was just exciting that he wanted to get to know me. Now I find myself often filled with excitement and awe at the fact that he <em>already</em> knows so much about me and yet still loves me and loves being with me!</p>
<p>Because of this, I have found all the little things Gary does to show his love have taken on an increasingly deeper meaning as the years go by. The way he seeks me out as soon as he gets home from work, sends me smiles across the room when we’re out at a gathering, or takes great delight in giving me an unexpected gift—he is constantly reminding me that I am loved and cherished, and it feels so much more romantic than any date we had before we were married.</p>
<p><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>Gary</strong></span> &#8211; Yes. I think when it comes to romance, we need to remember that healthy, loving relationships get better over time, not worse. When we were first married (and even dating) our romance was new and exciting, but also kind of awkward. Now it’s a lot smoother and our playful banter back-and-forth is much more satisfying as well because we know each other well. The same thing goes for physical intimacy. The more we get to know each other, the better things have become. I guess in response to your statement though, I would agree and say to keep pursuing your spouse. Make them the first person you “go-to”, find, share things with, etc. The investment is well worth it.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #cc99ff;"><strong>I am sure you never argue, never fight, and just have this amazing perfect marriage. </strong></span></h4>
<p><span style="color: #ff00ff;"><strong>Jessica</strong> </span>&#8211; Uh, no. We argue often and we most certainly do not have a perfect marriage! But I’m really glad we argue. We’re different people and have different thoughts, opinions, and ways of looking at the world, so of course, we will disagree sometimes! To have a marriage without arguments would mean we were living in denial and without any real intimacy between us.</p>
<p>It does matter <em>how</em> we argue, though, and we have learned a lot about how to talk through our disagreements. Most of the time now we’re able to come to a consensus fairly quickly, but there are, of course, some arguments that take longer than others! The ones that occur late at night are often the most difficult because, just like everyone else, we usually become significantly less reasonable when we’re tired. We never follow a rule of “work things out before you go to sleep” because we’ve learned there are some arguments that can’t be worked out until we’ve had some sleep!</p>
<p><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>Gary</strong> </span>&#8211; I feel the need to clarify Jessica’s comment about working things out before we sleep (is this an argument??). I think we have always <em>tried</em> to work things out before heading to bed, but when it gets to the point where we’re exhausted, we acknowledge that sleep will actually help to solve the issue at hand. It’s our commitment to each other—and to work out our problems—that is what has been a priority for us. This comes back to our “divorce is not an option” caveat to our marriage. When there is no other way, we’re forced to find a solution or be stuck in a miserable living situation.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #cc99ff;"><strong>Anything you want to say to your younger selves?</strong></span></h4>
<p><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>Gary</strong></span> &#8211; Marriage is not so much about what you get out of it, but what you put into it. It’s a bit cliché, but true. Focusing on your own life and making it better will just end up making it worse. I would also tell myself to pay attention to your wife. The more you know about her, the more you can love her and help her. When she is loved and supported, she blossoms. Also, getting married is just the beginning. It’s not “done” now, so keep working together and doing life together.</p>
<p><span style="color: #ff00ff;"><strong>Jessica</strong></span> &#8211; I would say that marriage is a marathon, not a sprint. Yes, you love him now, but as you keep intentionally moving towards each other, you will get to experience a depth of love you can’t even imagine right now. It won’t ever be fully easy, but it will get easier and for every night that you go to bed in tears, you will have three times as many where you fall asleep full of indescribable joy and gratitude for the love you have found. Hold on and enjoy the process!</p>
<p><img decoding="async" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-3264" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/IMG_0192-2.jpg" alt="Gary and Jessica Powell" width="1131" height="1536" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/IMG_0192-2.jpg 1131w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/IMG_0192-2-221x300.jpg 221w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/IMG_0192-2-768x1043.jpg 768w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/IMG_0192-2-754x1024.jpg 754w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/IMG_0192-2-560x761.jpg 560w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/IMG_0192-2-80x109.jpg 80w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/IMG_0192-2-600x815.jpg 600w" sizes="(max-width: 1131px) 100vw, 1131px" /></p>
<h4><span style="color: #cc99ff;"><strong>Who is the more romantic, humbler, more gentle, kind, and passionate?</strong></span></h4>
<p><span style="color: #ff00ff;"><strong>Jessica</strong></span> – Oh boy. Does it sound too evasive if I say “it depends”? Because it honestly does! Although I think Gary is actually the more romantic one pretty much all the time. He’s pretty great at that!</p>
<p><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>Gary</strong></span> – I’m definitely humbler! Seriously though, I think I am more romantic (or at least lean in that direction more than Jessica). Jessica is certainly more passionate and gentler. We’re both even on the kindness meter.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #cc99ff;"><strong>What are some nice romantic restaurants in Vancouver?</strong></span></h4>
<p><span style="color: #ff00ff;"><strong>Jessica</strong> </span>&#8211; We are probably the worst people to ask that question because for us the answer would be “any restaurant we’re at without our kids”! We do really like Cactus Club though. It’s a great date night spot!</p>
<p><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>Gary </strong></span>&#8211; Yeah, we’re not foodies at all and hardly have a chance to get out. We do love take-out wings and breadsticks from Pizza Hut after the kids go to bed though!</p>
<h4><span style="color: #cc99ff;"><strong>Tell me something funny that has happened in your marriage?</strong></span></h4>
<p><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>Gary Powell</strong></span> &#8211; Our whole marriage has been pretty funny! We often say our home life is kind of like a sitcom and we laugh at ourselves a lot. It helps not to take things too seriously. That said, my attempt at taking maternity “beach photos” of Jessica when she was 8-months pregnant was pretty funny. The waves kept crashing and pushing her over and let’s just say the words “beached whale” may have come out of my lips! (One more piece of advice for newly married couples—I do have pre-approval to share that story!).</p>
<p><img decoding="async" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-20626" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/Untitled-Design-1-1.png" alt="gary powell" width="735" height="1102" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/Untitled-Design-1-1.png 735w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/Untitled-Design-1-1-200x300.png 200w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/Untitled-Design-1-1-683x1024.png 683w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/Untitled-Design-1-1-600x900.png 600w" sizes="(max-width: 735px) 100vw, 735px" /></p>
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		<title>Reflections on mental health and parenting</title>
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		<pubDate>Mon, 17 Jan 2022 05:00:29 +0000</pubDate>
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					<description><![CDATA[<img width="300" height="157" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Untitled-Design-1-300x157.png" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="mental health" style="display: block; margin: auto; margin-bottom: 5px;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" decoding="async" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Untitled-Design-1-300x157.png 300w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Untitled-Design-1-1024x536.png 1024w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Untitled-Design-1-768x402.png 768w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Untitled-Design-1-560x293.png 560w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Untitled-Design-1-80x42.png 80w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Untitled-Design-1-600x314.png 600w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Untitled-Design-1.png 1200w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /><p>Parenting has taken on a whole new meaning during Covid 19. Parents, caregivers, and children across the country are facing challenges and have to constantly pivot during the lockdown. Focus on creating quality time and make sure your children are connected with family, friends, and&#160;<a class="read-more" href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/reflections-on-mental-health-and-parenting/">&#8230;</a></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/reflections-on-mental-health-and-parenting/">Reflections on mental health and parenting</a> appeared first on <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com">Four Columns of a Balanced Life</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<img width="300" height="157" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Untitled-Design-1-300x157.png" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="mental health" style="display: block; margin: auto; margin-bottom: 5px;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" decoding="async" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Untitled-Design-1-300x157.png 300w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Untitled-Design-1-1024x536.png 1024w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Untitled-Design-1-768x402.png 768w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Untitled-Design-1-560x293.png 560w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Untitled-Design-1-80x42.png 80w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Untitled-Design-1-600x314.png 600w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Untitled-Design-1.png 1200w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /><p><img decoding="async" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-1765" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/brett_ullman.jpeg" alt="mental health" width="640" height="360" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/brett_ullman.jpeg 640w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/brett_ullman-300x169.jpeg 300w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/brett_ullman-560x315.jpeg 560w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/brett_ullman-80x45.jpeg 80w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/brett_ullman-600x338.jpeg 600w" sizes="(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px" /></p>
<p>Parenting has taken on a whole new meaning during Covid 19.</p>
<p>Parents, caregivers, and children across the country are facing challenges and have to constantly pivot during the lockdown.</p>
<p>Focus on creating quality time and make sure your children are connected with family, friends, and neighbors through social media, chats, phones, and email.</p>
<p>Go on walks with your children while maintaining a safe distance.</p>
<p>Listen to understand your children, focus on their positive behavior and be a role model.</p>
<p>I talk to Brett about mental health and parenting.</p>
<p>Brett Ullman travels North America speaking to teens, young adults, leaders, and parents on topics including sexuality, mental health, men, dating, and media. Brett’s seminars engage and challenge attendees to try and connect our ancient faith with the modern culture we live in. Participants are inspired to reflect on what we know, what we believe, and how our faith ought to serve as the lens through which we view and engage in tough conversations in our society today.</p>
<p>Husband to Dawn and father of Bennett and Zoe, Brett and his family make their home in Ajax, Ontario where Brett leads and directs Worlds Apart, a charity focused on empowering individuals to re-align their lives with Biblical core values often muddled by media but central to Christian living.</p>
<p>Brett was a teacher with the Toronto District School Board for 10 years before moving into speaking full-time back in 2005. Brett has a Master&#8217;s degree in Evangelism and Leadership from Wheaton Graduate School in Chicago and is also a graduate of the Arrow Leadership Program. He and his family are members of Sanctus Church in Ajax since 2004. I catch up with Brett to talk about mental health and parenting.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>Brett, please tell my audience a little about you?</strong></span></h4>
<p>My name is Brett Ullman. My wife (Dawn) and I live in Ajax, Ontario with our 2 teenagers Zoe (16) and Ben (15). I was a teacher with the TDSB (Toronto District School Board) for 10 years before leaving teaching 13 years ago to speak full-time. My speaking had started the year I began teaching and had grown to the point where I was teaching full-time and speaking 45 dates a year across Canada and the US. I speak on current issues from parenting, mental health,<a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/love-dating-relationship/"> dating</a>, media, faith, sex, men, and pornography.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>I have a 14-year daughter, what is the best advice you can give me?</strong></span></h4>
<p>There is a quote from the book “<a href="https://www.amazon.ca/Trophy-Child-Ted-Cunningham/dp/078140763X">Trophy Child</a>” from <a href="https://woodhills.org/im-new/our-staff/ted-cunningham/">Ted Cunningham</a> that says “They will not be with me forever so I will prepare them accordingly.” This would be my best advice … prepare your <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/discover-10-life-lessons-my-daughter-has-taught-me-so-far/">daughter</a> for life, don’t protect her from life. We seem to see an epidemic of over-parenting (which is rooted in fear-based parenting) throughout our society. If 4 years from now she heads away for school she better be ready to deal with everything from good online digital citizenship, dealing with sex and pornography, dealing with<a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/how-to-use-money-to-make-you-happier/"> money</a>, all aspects of <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/pastor-mark-strickland-practical-advice-on-dating-and-marriage/">dating</a>, etc.</p>
<p>As a side point, I would say go and tell her that you love her. I am blown away on an ongoing basis by how many young girls tell me their dad has never told them he loved her.</p>
<p>I would also remind her often that you are there for her, not against her. That we as parents want the best for our kids and we are in their corner in life is a huge deal. This also means that we are still for them even when they mess up. Our kids need to know that we love them “forever and always” no matter what happens. This is unconditional love.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>In the last decade, we as a society have been talking about mental health. What can we as parents do if our kid is struggling?</strong></span></h4>
<p>If I am in a room of students and/or parents and ask who knows someone who struggles with mental health, there is usually not a hand that does not go up. It is affecting all of us as a modern culture today. As someone who had a breakdown back in 2012 from speaking close to 300 speaking dates a year to pay for my Master&#8217;s degree, I was taking down in Chicago I understand first-hand the … what word do I use … struggle that those of us with mental health struggles face within the church today. One of the issues is that we allow people with cancer, diabetes, and other illnesses to follow a path to healing using best practices (doctors, medications, etc) but tell someone struggling with mental health it must be a spiritual issue. I have an entire talk on this called the <a href="https://speaking.brettullman.com/the-talks/walking-wounded.html">Walking Wounded.</a> Let me give you the 2 min summary.</p>
<p>If you or your kids are struggling with mental health you need to attack it in 3 ways:</p>
<ol>
<li>Body – go to your family doctor. Get blood work, and a physical done and see if there is anything physically wrong with you. You then need to take care of your body by eating better, sleeping more, and doing daily exercise. Some of the struggles we have are just from our living unsustainable lives. We need to take back control of what we can.</li>
<li>Mind – go see a counselor and get some strategies to help you in your journey.</li>
<li>Soul – Now this is the one that gets vast debate. I would say that our faith is (for the most part) not the answer in the journey but is the thing that sustains us in the journey no matter the outcome. Talk to pastors, prayer teams, small groups, and other people and allow them into your journey as well.</li>
</ol>
<h4><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>How are sexuality, media, and dating related?</strong></span></h4>
<p>I put them all under an umbrella I call a Christian Sexual Ethic or a Biblical worldview of healthy sexuality. If you have a correct ethic or worldview on this, it will affect all aspects of how we view sexuality in our lives. This affects what we do in relationships, what we do online, and the type of media we put into our lives.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>Give me some practical examples as to how we can connect an ancient faith to our fast-paced modern culture?</strong></span></h4>
<p>I think it starts with a Biblical Worldview. Your Worldview shapes your values, and then your values shape your actions, what you actually do in life. I have been talking about spiritual disciplines for 15 years in my talks. These are the primary spiritual formation building blocks of our faith. Reading, praying, fasting, giving, volunteering, etc. are the foundations of our faith. I just finished a chapter on this for my new book so here is a shortlist of a few books to get you started in this area:</p>
<ol>
<li><a href="http://dwillard.org/books/individual/spirit-of-the-disciplines">Dallas Willard: The Spirit of the Disciplines: Understanding How God Changes Lives</a></li>
<li><a href="https://renovare.org/people/richard-foster">Richard J. Foster: Celebration of Discipline: The Path to Spiritual Growth</a></li>
<li><a href="http://www.nathanfosterprojects.com/making-of-an-ordinary-saint/">Nathan Foster: The Making of an Ordinary Saint</a></li>
<li><a href="https://www.christianbook.com/guide-spiritual-disciplines-habits-strengthen-christ/patrick-morley/9780802475510/pd/75515">Patrick M. Morley: A Man’s Guide to the Spiritual Disciplines: 12 Habits to Strengthen Your Walk with Christ</a></li>
<li><a href="https://www.amazon.ca/God-My-Everything-Ancient-Rhythm/dp/0310499259">Ken Shigematsu: God in My Everything: How an Ancient Rhythm Helps Busy People Enjoy God</a></li>
<li><a href="http://www.garythomas.com/books/sacred-pathways/">Gary Thomas: Sacred Pathways</a></li>
<li><a href="https://www.amazon.ca/Sacred-Rhythms-Arranging-Spiritual-Transformation/dp/0830833331">Ruth R. Barton: Sacred Rhythms: Arranging our lives for Spiritual Transformation</a></li>
</ol>
<h4><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>Give me some practical tips on parenting and how to communicate with our kids on taboo topics?</strong></span></h4>
<p>The author Henry Cloud says we need to “Enter the danger.” We need not shy away from the tough stuff but lean into the conversations.</p>
<p>One thing that is really important here is that if you want to be able to speak to your kids on tough topics, you have to have relational influence in their lives. This is not something that you get because you are a parent, it is something you have to earn. When your kids are born, you have positional influence as you are the parent, and they are the kid. As they get older this fades away, and you must have relational influence. You build this day by day as your kids are growing up by being involved in their lives, family dinners, family vacations, family meetings, talks on the couch, game night, movie night, laughing and crying with your kids, encouraging them, etc.</p>
<p>Back to the tough topics use people around you. If you do not know what to say about a particular topic spend some time searching online, talk to your pastors and leaders, talk to parents of kids who are older than yours, read books on this topic, spend time on YouTube and searching Ted talks for great content. My website (www.brettullman.com) is filled with resources like this. My blog has conversations on all of these tough topics and the best links to other resources are all posted.</p>
<p><img decoding="async" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-22072" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Untitled-Design-5-1.png" alt="mental health" width="735" height="1102" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Untitled-Design-5-1.png 735w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Untitled-Design-5-1-200x300.png 200w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Untitled-Design-5-1-683x1024.png 683w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Untitled-Design-5-1-600x900.png 600w" sizes="(max-width: 735px) 100vw, 735px" /></p>
<h4><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>Talk to my female audience and help them in the dating world and how they need to navigate it?</strong></span></h4>
<p>I might start with a younger audience and say you don’t need to rush into dating in Grade 5-11. It will add a lot of heartaches, and the real question you are going to have to answer is what do you do sexually in these relationships as there is not much else that will be different from a good friend and dating other than that.</p>
<p>The other side of that coin is said to people who are out of High School and challenging them actually to date. We have a problem I see today where people are just not dating.</p>
<p>An important question to ask is not whether they like you, but whether they are worth you&#8217;re like.</p>
<p>Let me explain this better. It is great they like you, but does it matter? Are they the right person for you? Do you also like them? Do you have anything in common etc.? You don&#8217;t need to date someone just because they like you. You have a choice whether to like them back (in a dating way) or just stay friends.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>What are some questions we need to ask ourselves before getting married?</strong></span></h4>
<p>The most viewed blog on my site with over 12,600 views is <a href="https://www.brettullman.com/80-questions-go-dating/">80+ questions you need to ask when you are dating</a>. Lots of questions to ask before you ever get engaged and married. Just a few good ones would be:</p>
<p>&#8211;    What behavior is appropriate for those who are going to practice sexual abstinence before <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/2018/11/24/interview-with-tara-lalonde-author-of-an-unexpected-freedom-discover-peace-and-joy-in-the-meaning-of-life/">marriage</a></p>
<p>&#8211;    Are you a non-practicing Christian? What does the Christian faith mean to you?</p>
<p>&#8211;    Do you want any? 1? 2? 5?</p>
<p>&#8211;    What kind of home do you want your children to grow up in? Values? Rules?</p>
<p>&#8211;    What will you do? Where will you live? What comes with the job you have chosen? Travel?</p>
<p>You can use my blog as a start and then add any other questions you have. The point is to ask these before you get serious. If you want to have kids and they do not this is a massive red flag that your relationship might not be right. If they&#8217;re going to move to another place in the country and you want to live near your family and friends, it might be another red flag.<strong> </strong></p>
<h4><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>How important is communication in the family?</strong></span></h4>
<p>It is paramount. I am a huge fan of family dinners, family meetings, family vacations, etc. The problem we see today is peer attachment without parental attachment. This is seen in Leonard Sax’s’ book <a href="http://www.leonardsax.com/books/the-collapse-of-parenting/">The Collapse of Parenting</a>. Our kids are looking for unconditional love and acceptance from their peers which is just something they are not able to give. Our kids need a strong, secure attachment (bond) with us as parents, only then can they head out into the world and bond with their peers.</p>
<p>We as parents need to make sure that we work at good communication. No technology at the dinner table. Phones are on airplane mode and not on silent. People need to look at each other in the eye when they are talking. This problem of partial attention is getting worse in life.</p>
<p>We also need to have open communication on the expectations of our kids around the house. Clear, agreed on boundaries and expectations for everything from chores to curfew.</p>
<p><img decoding="async" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-22074" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Untitled-Design-6-2.png" alt="mental" width="735" height="1102" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Untitled-Design-6-2.png 735w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Untitled-Design-6-2-200x300.png 200w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Untitled-Design-6-2-683x1024.png 683w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Untitled-Design-6-2-600x900.png 600w" sizes="(max-width: 735px) 100vw, 735px" /></p>
<h4><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>How do you balance faith family finance and food in this busy world?</strong></span></h4>
<p>I think the first thought here is just to be conscious that you want to live a balanced, sustainable life. I am presently reading <a href="http://drgregwells.com/the-ripple-effect/">“The Ripple Effect” by Greg Wells</a>. The bi-line is:</p>
<p>Sleep better</p>
<p>Eat better</p>
<p>Move better</p>
<p>Think better</p>
<p>So love this. Many years ago, I heard the analogy of the jar with the different size rocks. If you put in the sand and small stones first the large rocks will not fit in. But, if you put in the large rocks, then small stones, then the sand they will all fit. It is the same in our lives. Plan your life to fit in the large rocks first (exercise, sleep, diet, faith etc.), then put in the smaller stones (shopping, cleaning, volunteering) When all of these things are done you are left to put in the sand of your life (TV, social media, video games, etc).</p>
<p><img decoding="async" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-21495" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Untitled-Design-7.png" alt="parenting" width="735" height="1102" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Untitled-Design-7.png 735w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Untitled-Design-7-200x300.png 200w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Untitled-Design-7-683x1024.png 683w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Untitled-Design-7-600x900.png 600w" sizes="(max-width: 735px) 100vw, 735px" /></p>
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		<title>Life Lessons From Gardening</title>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[admin]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 26 Oct 2021 04:00:58 +0000</pubDate>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/?p=1189</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<img width="300" height="157" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Untitled-Design-4-1-300x157.png" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="" style="display: block; margin: auto; margin-bottom: 5px;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" decoding="async" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Untitled-Design-4-1-300x157.png 300w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Untitled-Design-4-1-1024x536.png 1024w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Untitled-Design-4-1-768x402.png 768w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Untitled-Design-4-1-760x400.png 760w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Untitled-Design-4-1-600x314.png 600w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Untitled-Design-4-1.png 1200w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /><p>Gardening has taught me so many lessons in life. I want to give you some quotes from famous people regarding gardening: I think the true gardener, the older he grows, should more and more develop a humble, grateful and uncertain spirit. &#8211; Reginald Farrer A&#160;<a class="read-more" href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/life-lessons-from-gardening/">&#8230;</a></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/life-lessons-from-gardening/">Life Lessons From Gardening</a> appeared first on <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com">Four Columns of a Balanced Life</a>.</p>
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										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<img width="300" height="157" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Untitled-Design-4-1-300x157.png" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="" style="display: block; margin: auto; margin-bottom: 5px;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" decoding="async" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Untitled-Design-4-1-300x157.png 300w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Untitled-Design-4-1-1024x536.png 1024w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Untitled-Design-4-1-768x402.png 768w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Untitled-Design-4-1-760x400.png 760w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Untitled-Design-4-1-600x314.png 600w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Untitled-Design-4-1.png 1200w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /><p>Gardening has taught me so many lessons in life.</p>
<p>I want to give you some quotes from famous people regarding gardening:</p>
<p>I think the true gardener, the older he grows, should more and more develop a humble, <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/attitude-of-gratitude/">grateful</a> and uncertain spirit. &#8211; Reginald Farrer</p>
<p>A garden is a grand teacher. It teaches <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/patience-is-the-mother-of-all-virtues/">patience</a> and careful watchfulness; it teaches industry and thrift; above all, it teaches entire trust. &#8211; Gertrude Jekyll</p>
<p>A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in. &#8211; Greek proverb</p>
<p>Everything that slows us down and forces patience, everything that sets us back into the slow circles of nature, is a help. Gardening is an instrument of grace. &#8211; May Sarton</p>
<h4><strong><span style="color: #339966;">Introduction</span></strong></h4>
<p>We are one week into fall. As a result, the weather is changing. It is getting darker earlier. The leaves are changing color. In conclusion, it is time to start pruning the garden.</p>
<p>I have been a city boy for most of my life. Therefore, buying a home with a garden was an experience in itself.</p>
<p>We moved in the summer when the flowers and everything in the garden was blooming. However, little did I realize the work involved in maintaining it.</p>
<p>The first year I noticed the grass on my lawn going brown. A neighbor told me he sensed it would be white grubs.  Grubs are larvae of beetles and attack the roots of turfgrass.</p>
<p>Since the home was barely new, the builder had put the sod on the original mud rather than a thick layer of topsoil. As I drove around the hood, the best grass was that which was growing on a thick layer of topsoil.</p>
<p>I took the easy route. I went to a construction site. They were offering free topsoil. It was a weed-infested. Guess what no grass showed up but weeds.</p>
<p>Last year I ordered a whole truck of topsoil. I ordered the best grass seeds. For three weeks in September, I mixed the seed and the topsoil. The lawn looks the best in years.</p>
<h4><strong><span style="color: #008000;">Lessons learned</span></strong></h4>
<p>We need to build our lives on a solid base. Character is important. Discipline will take us through the hard times.</p>
<p>To have a great garden you must have patience, a nurturing spirit, and a willingness to sweat. Nature provides the sun we provide the water, fertilizer, and hard work. To have a career or to excel in anything, you have to work hard.</p>
<p>To see a small seed become a sprout, a plant, and then a tree that gives fruits and flowers is so encouraging. In the same way to see your project, your kids, or a friendship blossom into something is going to be encouraging.</p>
<p>The garden will go through a cycle. Life has its trials and tribulations. There will be things beyond our control. Mother Nature is a formidable foe when she wishes to be. Drought, wind, insects are some of the challenges. Better to approach an uncertain world with an open mind. Stay flexible.</p>
<p>In the backyard, we had a big sumac tree. What was the couple thinking planting in the backyard? I found out the hard way. About 20 feet away from the tree, shoots started coming. It was destroying my grass. Sumac is an aggressive plant and can take over a garden. It took me a whole month to cut the tree and its roots. Keep aggressive, toxic, and nosy people at a distance.</p>
<p>I love perennials. They show up every year. Make sure you have friends like that. As Debbie battled cancer it was the loyal friends who showed up.</p>
<p>Annuals are planted every year. They look beautiful for a reason and for a specific season. Sometimes, we have people like that in our lives only for a short time, for a season, and for a reason.</p>
<p>The garden hose has many choices; focused, mist, spray. We need to encourage a million times, love a billion times, and rebuke but rarely.</p>
<p>Pruning is very important for the plants and at the right time. When we focus on the simple and the practical, life turns around. We embrace change and allow our lives and hearts to grow. Change is a constant factor in our lives.</p>
<p>Flowers and plants that grow in the desert and in a milder climate cannot be grown here. Different soils, ph. levels, weather patterns all have an impact. All our five fingers are different. We all have different strengths and weaknesses. Focus on those and have fun. Comparing yourself to someone else will lead to disaster. Accept the fact the world is unfair and monetize skills differently.</p>
<p>I do not grow fruits or vegetables. My mother-in-law grows them. Potatoes and carrots teach what you do not see matters. Pass on the glitz, glamour, volatility, and the unpredictable in your life.</p>
<p>The result of the garden is the choices you make. People can be flowers in your garden or weeds. Pluck the weeds to let everything grow.</p>
<p>You need a bunch of garden tools. Axes, carts, cords, fork, footwear, hoes, rake, spades, shovel, trellis are some of the tools to be efficient. Education along with practical sense, humility, gentleness, kindness, patience, unconditional love, and emotional intelligence goes a long way in being successful in real life and in the workplace.</p>
<p>We can never be experts in every field. Ask for advice read books. Learn from other people’s mistakes. Go ahead and blossom where you are planted.</p>
<p>These are some of the life lessons I have learned from gardening.</p>
<p><img decoding="async" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-15579" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Gardening.png" alt="gardening" width="735" height="1102" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Gardening.png 735w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Gardening-200x300.png 200w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Gardening-683x1024.png 683w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Gardening-560x840.png 560w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Gardening-80x120.png 80w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Gardening-600x900.png 600w" sizes="(max-width: 735px) 100vw, 735px" /></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
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		<title>How Coaching Improves Performance</title>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[admin]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 08 Aug 2021 04:00:50 +0000</pubDate>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/?p=1162</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<img width="300" height="157" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Untitled-Design-9-1-300x157.png" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="coaching" style="display: block; margin: auto; margin-bottom: 5px;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" decoding="async" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Untitled-Design-9-1-300x157.png 300w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Untitled-Design-9-1-1024x536.png 1024w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Untitled-Design-9-1-768x402.png 768w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Untitled-Design-9-1-760x400.png 760w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Untitled-Design-9-1-600x314.png 600w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Untitled-Design-9-1.png 1200w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /><p>Ricardo Lopes is an award-winning author, speaker, trainer, and coach at Advanced Leadership. Advanced Leadership is a creative and enthusiastic group that&#8217;s passionate about empowering businesses, and the people in them, to meet with greater success. It lends expertise and support in communications, training, employee engagement,&#160;<a class="read-more" href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/how-coaching-improves-performance/">&#8230;</a></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/how-coaching-improves-performance/">How Coaching Improves Performance</a> appeared first on <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com">Four Columns of a Balanced Life</a>.</p>
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										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<img width="300" height="157" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Untitled-Design-9-1-300x157.png" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="coaching" style="display: block; margin: auto; margin-bottom: 5px;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" decoding="async" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Untitled-Design-9-1-300x157.png 300w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Untitled-Design-9-1-1024x536.png 1024w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Untitled-Design-9-1-768x402.png 768w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Untitled-Design-9-1-760x400.png 760w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Untitled-Design-9-1-600x314.png 600w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Untitled-Design-9-1.png 1200w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /><p>Ricardo Lopes is an award-winning author, speaker, trainer, and coach at Advanced Leadership. <span class="lt-line-clamp__raw-line">Advanced Leadership is a creative and enthusiastic group that&#8217;s passionate about empowering businesses, and the people in them, to meet with greater success. It lends expertise and support in communications, training, employee engagement, and performance. In essence, it helps organizations, and the people in them, better communicate, collaborate, and generate extraordinary results, both within the organization and with their customers.  Ricardo has held several communications, training and development, and national sales development roles generating perennial record sales performances over multiple decades. Ricardo has coaching, speaking, and training accreditation from The John C. Maxwell Team and licensed access to its training materials. John C. Maxwell is a many time over best-selling author and is recognized internationally as one of the world&#8217;s top leadership and management development experts. Ricardo talks about coaching and how it helps improve performance.</span></p>
<p><img decoding="async" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-1163" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Profile-PIC.jpg" alt="coaching" width="742" height="680" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Profile-PIC.jpg 742w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Profile-PIC-300x275.jpg 300w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Profile-PIC-560x513.jpg 560w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Profile-PIC-80x73.jpg 80w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Profile-PIC-600x550.jpg 600w" sizes="(max-width: 742px) 100vw, 742px" /></p>
<h4><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>Ricardo please tell me a little about you?</strong></span></h4>
<p>I’m a coach, speaker, and trainer at <a href="https://www.advancedleadership.ca/">Advanced Leadership</a>. We’re a learning and performance company that empowers organizations and the people in them, to better communicate, collaborate, and generate extraordinary results &#8211; with their peers, customers, and the teams they’re privileged to lead.  I’ve worked for almost 30 years in the business and corporate worlds, contributing in several roles such as a national business development coach and communications specialist more recently, and as a sales manager, sales officer trainer, and communication consultant, etc. prior to that.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>How do you help executives increase their unique value proposition?</strong></span></h4>
<p>I work with individuals to identify the strengths that make them unique and help them play to them.  No one does you as well as you do you.  When you contribute to areas of strength, results come more naturally to you and you can accomplish far more in that area than someone who’s struggling or not engaged in the task at hand. The trick is to challenge yourself continually, by applying those strengths to new challenges, to ensure you keep growing. <strong> </strong></p>
<h4><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>How important is it for an executive to communicate effectively?</strong></span></h4>
<p>I can’t think of anything MORE important.  But let’s be clear about something, according to the Mehrabian’s 7-38-55 Rule of Personal Communication, words only make up 7% of any message. Voice tonality and body language contribute 38% and 55%, respectively, to the intended meaning of a message.  This is why you can watch two people relay the same request with great variation in how people respond.  There are a number of leadership skills that executives need to develop to better influence, inspire, and generate results.  These are the soft skills that are mandatory and are very accurate predictors of how far any leader will go. No one cares how smart you are, the question is, do you have the leadership skills to influence, inspire, and generate results with a group of uniquely skilled individuals around you?</p>
<h4><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>Is it important to get a little deeper when networking or should we just get the business card?</strong></span></h4>
<p>Less is more.  Meet with fewer people, get to know them, and build trust.  We do business with and create business opportunities for, people we know, like, and trust.  You can have the greatest skills or widget to sell, but if you fail to develop that connection, your business card will meet with someone’s wastepaper basket.  I might be showing my age but I love business cards.  I think they say something about a person.  I like to write two or three things that make that person unique right on the card when I get home and save them. You can only discover that information after investing some time with them. I organize them by groups of people I affiliate with and like to flip through them before I attend an event.  Even with the best of intentions, it’s hard to remember every detail when you meet so many people.  It takes a little bit of effort to flip through these mini cue cards, but the reward is seeing the smile of appreciation on that person’s face when you’ve remembered them and made them feel special.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>How important is it for an executive to have balance in their lives?</strong></span></h4>
<p>Very Important. Balance brings a diversity of experience and thought that makes you more valuable to the organization. Balance makes sure you have the energy to endure the crunch. Balance ensures you are clear about your ‘why’.  When you clearly identify what you value outside of work, and allow yourself to participate in those activities or the lives of others, they become inspirations.  They help you find the last bit of gas in the tank that you need, to do what you must, in order to provide the means to continue to enjoy those moments outside of work.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>You were in financial services for more than two decades give me some personal advice on finance?</strong></span></h4>
<p>First save, save, save.  Deduct right off your paycheck and learn to live within what’s left.</p>
<p>Second, there’s a great little button on most income tax software, “How much can I borrow such that my tax refund will pay off the loan”.  Now take your refund and pay off the loan you just took to grow your savings.  Let’s say you borrowed five grand and deposited it to your RRSP savings, now you have five grand plus all the growth it’s going to generate between now and the day in retirement when you take it out. All this, for what it cost you in nominal interest charges incurred from the day you borrowed and the day your tax refund was applied against the loan.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>How is your coaching unique and helps executives feeling more empowered?</strong></span></h4>
<p>I love that word! If I could describe what we do in three words, it would be “Authentically you, empowered”. I would say my approach to coaching draws a clear line between coaching and mentoring.  They are not one and the same.  It’s troubling to watch pairings of individuals where the expectation is that a poor millennial is supposed to somehow follow, and start emulating, a decorated baby boomer or GenX for example.  I’ve met with success in leadership positions driving sales etc., but it would be a less productive coaching session if I tried to grow a mini-me.  What worked for me played to my strengths and worked in a time and place.  Even if I executed exactly as I did some years ago, the dynamics and circumstances could have changed and hence the same approach, by the same person, executed the same way, isn’t guaranteed to work.  I encourage clients to identify their strengths and play to them, this generates small and large wins that build confidence and momentum.</p>
<p>One other unique aspect I would say is addressing belief paradigms and the battle between the conscious and unconscious mind.  The unconscious is supposed to protect us and keep us safe from the unknown or re-experiencing something that put us in harm’s way.  Sometimes, those belief paradigms serve us well, other times they’re holding us back, and we need someone outside our head to encourage us to push past them. Once we’ve pushed past them and succeed, our subconscious accepts a new normal and will no longer generate the very real physical manifestation of pain, anxiety, etc. in its attempts to discourage us from going for it!</p>
<h4><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>What other value do you bring to help authentically empower others?</strong></span></h4>
<p>I like to describe our company as a passionate and enthusiastic bunch who enjoy empowering organizations and the people in them, to meet with greater success.  How we help, is by lending support and expertise in four key areas; communications, training, employee engagement, and performance.  What we do essentially is to help organizations and the people in them better communicate, collaborate, and generate extraordinary results, both within the organization and with their customers.  As an example, to kick off the new year in 2019, we’re doing training for entrepreneurs and small business that is open to the general public.  We’re helping them craft messages to effectively promote their business in public and close the sale while building their confidence. Many wonderful people are great artisans, service people, or craftspeople, but they are not salespeople and may never be. When you get big enough, you can pass on promoting your business in public and closing the sale of your widget or book to someone else. Until then, you need to get it done yourself, or risk being one of 50% of businesses who fail within the first five years. Often, the failure has nothing to do with the service or product they provide, the challenge is their inability to sell it.  It’s also heart-wrenching to meet a perennial networker whose own inner circle is hard-pressed to describe what that person does!  Even with the best intentions, their inner circle doesn’t know how to promote their fellow networker because they don’t have clear messaging regarding just what they do or sell.  Our event will empower these folks to conquer their fear of public speaking, promote their business and close the sale. Together we’ll craft engaging value propositions, elevator speeches, and on stage / public presentations in a 3-day over 4-weeks experiential learning workshop.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>How do you balance food, faith, finance, and family in the 21st century?</strong></span></h4>
<p>Balance to me means you acknowledge the importance of different aspects of a full, and well-functioning life.  That involves setting goals and executing them in each area.  Food is your body’s enricher.  Garbage in, garbage out. Plan and do the work to eat well.  Faith, if you’re blessed with it, will help you better appreciate you’re a spiritual being having a human experience, not the other way around.  That said, take care of your body such that you have a place to carry your inner being, while having the strength and wellness to do, and experience, all that you can on this journey.  Finance is an enabler; it’s not the most important thing in one’s life, but it’s right up there next to oxygen! Family love you, often unconditionally.  It’s hard to find a stronger set of raving fans.  Schedule time together, even if it’s the most mundane “I drive you to <em>x</em> event”, and “mom drives you to <em>y</em> event”.  Put down the smartphone and talk to each other, be present.  Schedule couple time/family time with as much commitment as you would the most important thing you have to do because it is.</p>
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