Cristina Romero is a Spanish blogger and I catch up with her and discuss life.

Cristina, a pleasure to interview a fellow blogger. Tell my audience something important about you?

Thank you very much, Jerry. I could be compared with the hands of a clock. In other words, I am always “functioning”. I am a very active person and I don’t stay put. I do not think there are enough hours in a day to do everything I would want to do. I am very human; my heart drives me. I like to help people around me. As a result, I find it worthwhile because that shapes the person I am. In conclusion, I am a woman that is very independent, very devoted to others, with clear ideas on her mind and who doesn’t settle.

Tell me a little about your blog and why did you decide to blog?

My blog is the start of a new phase in my life. After having worked in media and communications, I stopped working full time to take care of a family member.

After two years, I created the trademark “by Tina” and designed a handbag collection of different types of material, which were made in Spain. The fixed costs were high and I did not have any financial backing. I, therefore, decided to pursue something that I liked which is writing and having my own blog.

It was challenging at the beginning and a new world for me. I thought through the whole process and designed the website by myself. I am a perfectionist by nature. I took courses on blogging and www.elblogdetina.es was born.

The blog is about my thoughts, reflections, and state of mind on various topics like a visit to a restaurant, my kids, or just cooking. It is a journey.

What kind of journalism do you specialize in? What do you like about journalism?

I have worked in the press and radio.  I did not like what I saw when I started working for different media companies. To my mind ethics are a key feature of individuals, and this should be even more highlighted when you work in the “fourth power”. When I was faced with the truth about journalism, I was hugely disappointed. My ideas around journalism pictured the great reporter investigating for news but the reality is very different.  The news is delivered to you by the big press agencies and that is a debacle for your ideas.

What does female empowerment mean to you?

I believe women need to have their own dignity, be independent, and have their rights acknowledged. I further think that Spain where I live,  men and women have the same rights and opportunities (at least from a legal perspective, which sometimes plays out differently in practice).

When I was born, I had the same opportunities as my brother and the same is true for my friends. Maybe if you look back two generations it was odd to see the same number of men and women study, but nowadays any child born, be it a boy or a girl, will go to school and have the opportunity to go to university and have a future. I don’t see women as a prejudiced social group in Spain because of being born female.

I think that the word empowerment is fully compatible with women, as the word indicates, gain control over their own lives and circumstances. Maybe it is actually the circumstances each of them faces in her life that makes that woman give up on her professional life (be it because she has kids she wants to raise so that she can be independent in the future or because she has a disabled relative who she needs to take care of or due to other reasons…). And it is here where I see that laws don’t work properly: both a woman and a man should be able to take care of their families and home without giving up on financial independence, but there is no government help for this.

How has social media changed your society?

Social media has allowed people to have a broader view of life.  In other words, not everything is controlled by the same media. Therefore, the freedom to express yourself has substantially increased. It is a great tool to exchange information and has led nowadays to a steep change in mass media.

Spanish society has evolved positively in a lot of ways on the back of social media as it has given everyone a voice. The flipside of this is that it gives rise to abuse, to people manipulating social media to achieve their goals or to professional haters hiding behind the anonymous status a profile gives them, but that can be mitigated by the right of every individual to choose what he wants to read, follow or do.

Help me understand some of the challenges you have faced in life and how did you overcome it?

The first was in the workplace. In order to move up in the media world, I faced, as we say in Spain,  “pasar por la piedra”, It means as a woman if your boss comes and tells you that in order to progress you have to have dinner with him (or do anything, as we have recently seen in the cinema world) and when you say no he makes your professional life unbearable until you quit.

Another tougher challenge was when the CEO of my company told all female employees that he didn’t want any of us to get pregnant and that if we did no one could in “his” company (which wasn’t actually his) apply for a part-time job as is set out by Spanish law. When my second child was born, I decided to focus more on my family, and therefore against the will of my boss I notified HR that I applied for the reduced working hours that I was entitled to. They couldn’t obviously object but they made life difficult until I voluntarily left. That challenge has been very important and thanks to the fact that I actually sent that notice to HR and subsequently left women can (and do) now have different options of working hours in that company and can find a work-life balance.

The third challenge was that I was in a relationship with a male chauvinist. When I wore a skirt, it was too short and he wanted me to wear pants. He did not want me to drive and was emotionally abusive.

He was very controlling, negative and it had a deep impact on my personality. He was very aggressive in his character. I became aware of his negative impact on me and mentioned that I wanted to end the relationship. He became manipulative, by threatening to jump out of the window, screaming, and even broken a door to get into the room I had locked myself in.

However, I decided to quit this toxic relationship, as I would never be happy and called it off. We should be free in a relationship and not be subdued and unhappy. I still have to see him because of certain issues but I have learned to forgive and have pity on him.

Talk to me about Spanish society and is it still patriarchal or an equal society?

Spanish society is undergoing constant change. In the last few years, it has changed significantly and there is a long way to go. Spain has a constitution since 1978. We were coming from a completely patriarchal society, where women’s role was basically to be the wife of someone and raise the kids whilst staying at home (with some exceptions). Women gained the right to vote in the 30s, notably 1933 and it was strange to find women studying in university and having a job linked to their career thereafter. The change was accelerated in 1978 and since then boosted, and it has only been 41 years! It is amazing to see how everything has changed since now we live in an equal society.

As I said, most women are free to decide what they want to do in life and if they want to continue with their career or prefer to devote more time to their family and give up a professional career. But there is still a lot to improve regarding maternity leave and the way back to work once it is finished. Rejoining your job isn’t easy and sometimes your salary is not worth it. A lot has to change. You can of course always decide to start your own business and try to balance family life and work that way, but not everyone has the financial capacity to be able to do that and the government doesn’t, unfortunately, help much. On top of that, not everyone has the personality you need to start your own business and prefers to settle for a company or, if you are a woman after maternity leave, stay at home.

Walk me through some of the best restaurants in your city?

The restaurant scene has exploded in Madrid in the last decade.

There is a choice for every palate and wallet. From eating fantastic pinchos in the San Antón market to a nice plate of pasta in an Italian restaurant such as Don Giovanni, Mediterranean food as in La Ancha or El Qüenco de Pepa, nice fish in el Barril or go to restaurants that are more trendy where fusion food or Japanese food are growing such as Amazonico, Bibo, Sushi 99, Inari and many others…. you can also have a great piece of Brazilian meat in Rubaiyat. This is all on top of your classic paella or other rice dishes like in St. James restaurant, but Spanish food goes way beyond paella.  A very welcoming restaurant where you have great food is La Buena Vida, with one of the best cheesecakes in town. Another one of my favorites is Taberna Laredo. I could go on forever…

What is your city famous for and why should we visit it?

Madrid is 1000 years old, historic and one of the greatest European capitals. It is a thriving, cosmopolitan city with a dynamic cultural scene and amazing weather.

Food is an obsession (not least the Mediterranean diet has been considered the most healthy diet worldwide) and there is plenty to choose from as madrileños tend to go out a lot…

On top of that, if you have enough of Madrid, which is very difficult to happen, you have amazing places nearby, including several world heritage sites like Toledo, or the Roman aqueduct in Segovia, or the walls of Avila…all within less than an hour drive.

How do you find balance in modern-day society and what are your priorities?

I think we have gone very quickly from one extreme to the other, from not having the technology available to having access to everything. New technologies bring with them a lot of good things but also give rise to something that is very bad: social isolation. It is very sad when for example I am having dinner in a restaurant and look around me and see most people with their mobile phones, teenagers meeting their friends and each of them just looks at their mobile, rather than speaking to each other, playing cards… there should be more education on the bad use of technology in order to foster healthy, natural and true relationships.

If when you raise kids you should impose time limitations on the use of technology. At home we have rules for the use of technology (including the fact that when we have lunch or gather with our family or friends we can’t use technological devices) and, to be honest, life is good that way because at the end of the day we are people and personal relationships should still be channeled through conversations and face to face instead of through phones or screens.

Balance in modern life would to me be complete equality of rights between men and women, that we were all free people with the ability to think for ourselves, without being conditioned by anyone and that we could all study and work to be truly independent.

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There is a reason I have listed the three together. I am being practical here. I cannot expect you to exercise and meditate daily in the morning. So try one of the above.

Regular exercise is good for you. Exercise releases feel-good endorphins and other natural brain chemicals. The morning is the conclusive time to energize your muscles through, weights, stretching, cardio, or walking.

The Mayo Clinic states that meditation gives you a sense of tranquility that is good for your physical, and mental health and emotional well-being.

The John Hopkins Institute states that listening to music exercises the brain and reduces blood pressure, anxiety and pain.

Research has shown that listening to music can reduce anxiety, blood pressure, and pain as well as improve sleep quality, mood, mental alertness, and memory.

The habits of exercising, meditating, and listening to music regularly will empower and transform you and result in better health, sleep, and mental alertness.

Check your emails, Read up on Your Industry

Stop looking at your smartphone first thing in the morning. Get up early, exercise, meditate, have a healthy breakfast and now look at your emails. Read up on what is happening in your industry. Watch a motivational video to prepare you for the day. This will transform and empower you to get ready for the day and give you the power of how you want to feel. Do not focus on social media to validate yourself.

Be around positive people. Remember I did not say, perfect people. It is essential to surround yourself with positive people because this habit will empower and transfer you to lasting success. Positive people are the catalyst to encourage you to become better and to deal with your daily challenges.

Positive people are in touch with reality. Positive people have your best interest at heart and want you to become better daily. This daily encouragement allows you to achieve your goals. You feel better about yourself and are full of energy.

Positive people are like honey. Everyone is drawn to them. Set yourself up for success. Surround yourself with positive people and become empowered and transform yourself to become a successful person.

Self-care is empowering and can transform you

What is self-care? Self-care is the intentional and concerned process of taking care of and improving your mental, emotional, physical, financial, and spiritual health with a balanced lifestyle. Self-care is taking care of yourself and it is very important. Self-care means taking good care of yourself. It is also about being kind to yourself and practicing self-compassion. However, not everything like drugs, alcohol, over-eating, or risk-taking that feels good is self-care. There is a big difference between self-care and unhealthy coping mechanisms. Self-care is good for you and has long-term benefits for the mind and the body.

The moment we align our goals, values, and ethos with our job, friends, charitable giving, and the various organizations that we are part of, cognitive dissonance disappears. We are happy. We live purpose-driven life. Everything makes sense.

Allow time for your body and brain to recharge. Reward yourself by relaxing, going for a massage, visiting a spa, or going for a swim and this will empower and transform you.

Have a few close and trusted friends

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January is here, which means you’ve likely set a New Years’ resolution! for your health goals. It is important to have holistic goals, where you in are sync emotionally, spiritually, mentally, psychologically, and financially.

2020 and 2021 were not easy. However, I am going to leave you with this

Mallory Aldred is a Registered Holistic Nutritionist who provides an individually tailored, non-diet approach to whole-body wellness where she offers a variety of programs centered around real-time education, teamwork, and accountability. She gives a few helpful strategies to stick to your 2022 health objectives and goals.

Is one of your health goals to lose weight?

Is one of your health goals to start packing your lunches?

How about becoming more active?

If so, well done! Here are a few helpful strategies I provide my nutrition clients that may help you stick to your 2020  health goals:

Start small and realistic. Oftentimes, we set goals that are extremely overwhelming which can make it difficult to get started. Instead of promising yourself, you’ll lose 50 pounds this year, focus on dropping 5 pounds for the month of February.

Find an accountability buddy. Having support, whether it be a friend, family member, or professional coach can be super motivating. Aim for daily or weekly check-ins to keep yourself on track. It’s important to ask for help as many of us are unable to get to where we want on our own.

Create space for setbacks. It’s unrealistic to think you’ll go from A to Z overnight. View setbacks as progress towards achieving your goals and use them as motivation rather than defeat. Your “failures” are simply providing you information about what works and what doesn’t.

Finally, don’t expect a quick fix. We are all built differently and have our own unique timelines. Comparing yourself to others can often cause unnecessary disappointment. Be patient, gentle to yourself, and never give up.

If you are looking for professional health and wellness support, you can contact her at malloryaldred@gmail.com

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Gardening has taught me so many lessons in life.

I want to give you some quotes from famous people regarding gardening:

I think the true gardener, the older he grows, should more and more develop a humble, grateful and uncertain spirit. – Reginald Farrer

A garden is a grand teacher. It teaches patience and careful watchfulness; it teaches industry and thrift; above all, it teaches entire trust. – Gertrude Jekyll

A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in. – Greek proverb

Everything that slows us down and forces patience, everything that sets us back into the slow circles of nature, is a help. Gardening is an instrument of grace. – May Sarton

Introduction

We are one week into fall. As a result, the weather is changing. It is getting darker earlier. The leaves are changing color. In conclusion, it is time to start pruning the garden.

I have been a city boy for most of my life. Therefore, buying a home with a garden was an experience in itself.

We moved in the summer when the flowers and everything in the garden was blooming. However, little did I realize the work involved in maintaining it.

The first year I noticed the grass on my lawn going brown. A neighbor told me he sensed it would be white grubs.  Grubs are larvae of beetles and attack the roots of turfgrass.

Since the home was barely new, the builder had put the sod on the original mud rather than a thick layer of topsoil. As I drove around the hood, the best grass was that which was growing on a thick layer of topsoil.

I took the easy route. I went to a construction site. They were offering free topsoil. It was a weed-infested. Guess what no grass showed up but weeds.

Last year I ordered a whole truck of topsoil. I ordered the best grass seeds. For three weeks in September, I mixed the seed and the topsoil. The lawn looks the best in years.

Lessons learned

We need to build our lives on a solid base. Character is important. Discipline will take us through the hard times.

To have a great garden you must have patience, a nurturing spirit, and a willingness to sweat. Nature provides the sun we provide the water, fertilizer, and hard work. To have a career or to excel in anything, you have to work hard.

To see a small seed become a sprout, a plant, and then a tree that gives fruits and flowers is so encouraging. In the same way to see your project, your kids, or a friendship blossom into something is going to be encouraging.

The garden will go through a cycle. Life has its trials and tribulations. There will be things beyond our control. Mother Nature is a formidable foe when she wishes to be. Drought, wind, insects are some of the challenges. Better to approach an uncertain world with an open mind. Stay flexible.

In the backyard, we had a big sumac tree. What was the couple thinking planting in the backyard? I found out the hard way. About 20 feet away from the tree, shoots started coming. It was destroying my grass. Sumac is an aggressive plant and can take over a garden. It took me a whole month to cut the tree and its roots. Keep aggressive, toxic, and nosy people at a distance.

I love perennials. They show up every year. Make sure you have friends like that. As Debbie battled cancer it was the loyal friends who showed up.

Annuals are planted every year. They look beautiful for a reason and for a specific season. Sometimes, we have people like that in our lives only for a short time, for a season, and for a reason.

The garden hose has many choices; focused, mist, spray. We need to encourage a million times, love a billion times, and rebuke but rarely.

Pruning is very important for the plants and at the right time. When we focus on the simple and the practical, life turns around. We embrace change and allow our lives and hearts to grow. Change is a constant factor in our lives.

Flowers and plants that grow in the desert and in a milder climate cannot be grown here. Different soils, ph. levels, weather patterns all have an impact. All our five fingers are different. We all have different strengths and weaknesses. Focus on those and have fun. Comparing yourself to someone else will lead to disaster. Accept the fact the world is unfair and monetize skills differently.

I do not grow fruits or vegetables. My mother-in-law grows them. Potatoes and carrots teach what you do not see matters. Pass on the glitz, glamour, volatility, and the unpredictable in your life.

The result of the garden is the choices you make. People can be flowers in your garden or weeds. Pluck the weeds to let everything grow.

You need a bunch of garden tools. Axes, carts, cords, fork, footwear, hoes, rake, spades, shovel, trellis are some of the tools to be efficient. Education along with practical sense, humility, gentleness, kindness, patience, unconditional love, and emotional intelligence goes a long way in being successful in real life and in the workplace.

We can never be experts in every field. Ask for advice read books. Learn from other people’s mistakes. Go ahead and blossom where you are planted.

These are some of the life lessons I have learned from gardening.

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Ricardo Lopes is an award-winning author, speaker, trainer, and coach at Advanced Leadership. Advanced Leadership is a creative and enthusiastic group that’s passionate about empowering businesses, and the people in them, to meet with greater success. It lends expertise and support in communications, training, employee engagement, and performance. In essence, it helps organizations, and the people in them, better communicate, collaborate, and generate extraordinary results, both within the organization and with their customers.  Ricardo has held several communications, training and development, and national sales development roles generating perennial record sales performances over multiple decades. Ricardo has coaching, speaking, and training accreditation from The John C. Maxwell Team and licensed access to its training materials. John C. Maxwell is a many time over best-selling author and is recognized internationally as one of the world’s top leadership and management development experts. Ricardo talks about coaching and how it helps improve performance.

Ricardo please tell me a little about you?

I’m a coach, speaker, and trainer at Advanced Leadership. We’re a learning and performance company that empowers organizations and the people in them, to better communicate, collaborate, and generate extraordinary results – with their peers, customers, and the teams they’re privileged to lead.  I’ve worked for almost 30 years in the business and corporate worlds, contributing in several roles such as a national business development coach and communications specialist more recently, and as a sales manager, sales officer trainer, and communication consultant, etc. prior to that.

How do you help executives increase their unique value proposition?

I work with individuals to identify the strengths that make them unique and help them play to them.  No one does you as well as you do you.  When you contribute to areas of strength, results come more naturally to you and you can accomplish far more in that area than someone who’s struggling or not engaged in the task at hand. The trick is to challenge yourself continually, by applying those strengths to new challenges, to ensure you keep growing.  

How important is it for an executive to communicate effectively?

I can’t think of anything MORE important.  But let’s be clear about something, according to the Mehrabian’s 7-38-55 Rule of Personal Communication, words only make up 7% of any message. Voice tonality and body language contribute 38% and 55%, respectively, to the intended meaning of a message.  This is why you can watch two people relay the same request with great variation in how people respond.  There are a number of leadership skills that executives need to develop to better influence, inspire, and generate results.  These are the soft skills that are mandatory and are very accurate predictors of how far any leader will go. No one cares how smart you are, the question is, do you have the leadership skills to influence, inspire, and generate results with a group of uniquely skilled individuals around you?

Is it important to get a little deeper when networking or should we just get the business card?

Less is more.  Meet with fewer people, get to know them, and build trust.  We do business with and create business opportunities for, people we know, like, and trust.  You can have the greatest skills or widget to sell, but if you fail to develop that connection, your business card will meet with someone’s wastepaper basket.  I might be showing my age but I love business cards.  I think they say something about a person.  I like to write two or three things that make that person unique right on the card when I get home and save them. You can only discover that information after investing some time with them. I organize them by groups of people I affiliate with and like to flip through them before I attend an event.  Even with the best of intentions, it’s hard to remember every detail when you meet so many people.  It takes a little bit of effort to flip through these mini cue cards, but the reward is seeing the smile of appreciation on that person’s face when you’ve remembered them and made them feel special.

How important is it for an executive to have balance in their lives?

Very Important. Balance brings a diversity of experience and thought that makes you more valuable to the organization. Balance makes sure you have the energy to endure the crunch. Balance ensures you are clear about your ‘why’.  When you clearly identify what you value outside of work, and allow yourself to participate in those activities or the lives of others, they become inspirations.  They help you find the last bit of gas in the tank that you need, to do what you must, in order to provide the means to continue to enjoy those moments outside of work.

You were in financial services for more than two decades give me some personal advice on finance?

First save, save, save.  Deduct right off your paycheck and learn to live within what’s left.

Second, there’s a great little button on most income tax software, “How much can I borrow such that my tax refund will pay off the loan”.  Now take your refund and pay off the loan you just took to grow your savings.  Let’s say you borrowed five grand and deposited it to your RRSP savings, now you have five grand plus all the growth it’s going to generate between now and the day in retirement when you take it out. All this, for what it cost you in nominal interest charges incurred from the day you borrowed and the day your tax refund was applied against the loan.

How is your coaching unique and helps executives feeling more empowered?

I love that word! If I could describe what we do in three words, it would be “Authentically you, empowered”. I would say my approach to coaching draws a clear line between coaching and mentoring.  They are not one and the same.  It’s troubling to watch pairings of individuals where the expectation is that a poor millennial is supposed to somehow follow, and start emulating, a decorated baby boomer or GenX for example.  I’ve met with success in leadership positions driving sales etc., but it would be a less productive coaching session if I tried to grow a mini-me.  What worked for me played to my strengths and worked in a time and place.  Even if I executed exactly as I did some years ago, the dynamics and circumstances could have changed and hence the same approach, by the same person, executed the same way, isn’t guaranteed to work.  I encourage clients to identify their strengths and play to them, this generates small and large wins that build confidence and momentum.

One other unique aspect I would say is addressing belief paradigms and the battle between the conscious and unconscious mind.  The unconscious is supposed to protect us and keep us safe from the unknown or re-experiencing something that put us in harm’s way.  Sometimes, those belief paradigms serve us well, other times they’re holding us back, and we need someone outside our head to encourage us to push past them. Once we’ve pushed past them and succeed, our subconscious accepts a new normal and will no longer generate the very real physical manifestation of pain, anxiety, etc. in its attempts to discourage us from going for it!

What other value do you bring to help authentically empower others?

I like to describe our company as a passionate and enthusiastic bunch who enjoy empowering organizations and the people in them, to meet with greater success.  How we help, is by lending support and expertise in four key areas; communications, training, employee engagement, and performance.  What we do essentially is to help organizations and the people in them better communicate, collaborate, and generate extraordinary results, both within the organization and with their customers.  As an example, to kick off the new year in 2019, we’re doing training for entrepreneurs and small business that is open to the general public.  We’re helping them craft messages to effectively promote their business in public and close the sale while building their confidence. Many wonderful people are great artisans, service people, or craftspeople, but they are not salespeople and may never be. When you get big enough, you can pass on promoting your business in public and closing the sale of your widget or book to someone else. Until then, you need to get it done yourself, or risk being one of 50% of businesses who fail within the first five years. Often, the failure has nothing to do with the service or product they provide, the challenge is their inability to sell it.  It’s also heart-wrenching to meet a perennial networker whose own inner circle is hard-pressed to describe what that person does!  Even with the best intentions, their inner circle doesn’t know how to promote their fellow networker because they don’t have clear messaging regarding just what they do or sell.  Our event will empower these folks to conquer their fear of public speaking, promote their business and close the sale. Together we’ll craft engaging value propositions, elevator speeches, and on stage / public presentations in a 3-day over 4-weeks experiential learning workshop.

How do you balance food, faith, finance, and family in the 21st century?

Balance to me means you acknowledge the importance of different aspects of a full, and well-functioning life.  That involves setting goals and executing them in each area.  Food is your body’s enricher.  Garbage in, garbage out. Plan and do the work to eat well.  Faith, if you’re blessed with it, will help you better appreciate you’re a spiritual being having a human experience, not the other way around.  That said, take care of your body such that you have a place to carry your inner being, while having the strength and wellness to do, and experience, all that you can on this journey.  Finance is an enabler; it’s not the most important thing in one’s life, but it’s right up there next to oxygen! Family love you, often unconditionally.  It’s hard to find a stronger set of raving fans.  Schedule time together, even if it’s the most mundane “I drive you to x event”, and “mom drives you to y event”.  Put down the smartphone and talk to each other, be present.  Schedule couple time/family time with as much commitment as you would the most important thing you have to do because it is.

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Don’t give up before the miracle happens – Fannie Flagg

Never, never, never, give up – Winston Churchill

2020 has punched us. We are feeling the side effects.

I have one question for you. Are you about to throw in the towel? Are you ready to quit? Are you ready to give up hope? You only see roadblocks, stopping you from achieving. You are out of breath and facing a concussion from the punch.

2020 has made us feel redundant. However, the challenges in our life exist to make us stronger. Not to become cynical and bitter. Never let circumstances limit your dream. You need to positive, robust, ready to take over the world.

Do not let 2020 and COVID make you negative. The negative tunes start playing in the head. The ambition, faith, and enthusiasm go down the drain. We start leading a mediocre life and forget about our dreams.

December is my favorite month. My birthday falls in the first week and then it is Christmas. December is also the month when I catch up with all my family and friends. As I email, text, phone, and message with friends on social media, I realize some common themes. Disappointment, anger, resentment, bitterness, lack of forgiveness, blaming, health issues, death, and many other issues take place in our lives.

A common theme among my cousins is ‘Jerry you have had it easy’.

I lived with my grandparents, aunts, and female cousins from the age of 1 to 12.5 years old. At the age of 2, I was dropped by mistake from the changing table. My lips were cut open, fingers slashed, the front head was gashed.

I became sick because of that and had to be fed through a hole in my armpit.

Tell that to my mother who had three miscarriages before and four after me.

At St. Andrews, as I spend three years there, I get a little sense of belonging. I was one of the few Catholic boys.

At BCS, there were many times, I questioned myself what I was doing in this venerable institution. Once again, I found myself to be one of the only Catholic boys among 300 students.

The three years at Les Roches were fascinating. However, you are in a new country, a new language, and every six months you are moving to different cities to complete your internship.

As I backpacked across Europe, I realize I am different in many ways. I am brown in a sea of white.

After graduation, as I hit the job market, I realize for the last couple of years, I have moved through three different countries, through 10 cities.

I applied for a management training position in a Middle East country. I am told clearly that I have to hold an EU or a local passport. I apply for a driver’s license and for Asians, the exam is in a standard car. Everyone else can do the exam in an automatic car.

I really look at my dad and ask him how can he put up living as a second-class citizen? No way am I going to be treated this way, just because of my skin color.

Canada welcomed me with open arms.

I moved to Toronto, not knowing anyone. I had to get a job, pay rent, and start living in a new city. It was the new normal for me.

The tech boom had started. No one had heard of Les Roches.

After a stint at a few hotels, I made the switch into banking. I went back to night school, got a degree.

After I came first in sales at Scotia and won a cruise, I decided to leave while I was at the top. I always wanted to be a trader and work in wealth management.

After doing a whole bunch of courses, I started working with a few advisors.

I learned a lot and it took me a while to get used to the Bay Street culture.

After working with an advisor for a long time and no chance of buying the book, I made the move to a US firm.

Did I mention that the advisor that I worked with for 16 years never bought me a meal, never said thank you, and never gave me a thank you card?

I just had to accept that is the Bay Street style of doing business. It was always just about business.

2016 not only turned out to be one of the best years in my life but the beginning of the worst 18 months of my life. I lost three very close friends during that period.

As I say goodbye to financial services and move on to the next stage of my life, there are always challenges, questions. Am I scared of risks? Am I scared of failure?

Am I discounting grief? By no means. Grief is a process. Sometimes a very long process. Emotional pain can be gut-wrenching.

As I start a blog and work my way focusing on my passion, there is a long, road ahead. I could fall on my face and be unemployed.

I refuse to give up. I refuse to quit. I want to be a game-changer. I want to make a difference in the lives of people. I want to share the stories of countless people. I want to tell stories. I want to connect with people.

I am who I am because of hurt, rejection, pain, suffering, and failure.

Here is my call to action for you. Be human. But do not quit. Your best years are ahead of you.

The post Never Give Up on Your Dreams appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

No matter how you define success, your mindset is an important factor in achieving it.  Your mindset will determine whether you are successful or not.

A robust and positive mindset is fundamental to establishing flourishing self-esteem. It is a framework that influences our beliefs, feelings, and attitudes. We need to become the sentinel of our minds and make sure we stay positive, inspired, and empowered.

Always remain optimistic no matter what. If you have a positive attitude, you can process information through a clearer lens, have a winning attitude, and achieve success in the long run.

A robust mindset gives you the drive to confront the status quo and go beyond the comfort zone. It allows you not to become a victim, not complain but thrive and improve.

I admire people who overcome adversity, develop a thick skin, and deal with issues head-on. Adversities in our lives challenge us and make us stronger. It is resilience that makes us go through the dark tunnels.

Niloo represents someone who does not takes no for an answer. She deals with challenges in life and comes up with ways on how to overcome them. I am inspired by her attitude to life. Niloo gives us some insight into her approach.

Niloo, I want to know what Getfitscience all about?

Getfitscience is a blog on promoting a science-based approach to fitness and nutrition. I embarked on my health journey a few years back after being diagnosed with scoliosis. It is a condition due to a sideways curvature of the spine.

I resolved to find the best way to train and improve my body to live a life without lower back pain. I started consuming as much information on training, nutrition, and mindset that I possibly could. While I managed to find a wealth of knowledge, I noticed that I had to sift through a sea of opinions and half-truths on these topics.

While it was frustrating that so many “bro-science” sources were purporting the benefits of the latest diet fad or way of training to make a buck, I saw a need to focus on science. I wanted to use my Bachelor of Science degree in biochemistry to share an evidence-based approach and encourage others to think critically.

I spend hours reading peer-reviewed research and translate it into an easily digestible format to give readers access to the latest studies and how they can help you optimize their training and nutrition. Since food is a critical component of living a healthy lifestyle, I decided it was necessary to dedicate a section of the blog to nutritious recipes.

What is scoliosis? How did you find the resolve to find the best way to train and live without pain?

Scoliosis is a sideways curvature of the spine. Many times, doctors are unable to determine the root cause of the condition. There are varying degrees of severity, and the disorder can worsen in some cases. In my case, I used to feel chronic back pain and had mobility issues and severe muscular imbalances. I found that strength training with an emphasis on training the back muscles and core helped diminish the imbalances I was feeling and overall pain. I also incorporated a combination of yoga and pilates to help with mobility and strengthening of weak stabilizer muscles.

I want to understand the process of rejecting a victim mindset based on your circumstances?

Often, our mindset concerning training and nutrition is ignored. The average person looks at steps they need to take to see a physical change, like altering food choices and exercise. But your thoughts are paramount in determining what you will achieve in life. Without the right mindset, none of those action steps will stick.

I knew that I’d never be able to cure my condition without potentially undergoing surgery; this was not an option I wanted to consider. Instead, I reframed the situation and changed my perspective. I focused on how I wanted to feel and live the rest of my life, which was ultimately my “why,” rather than feeling down or ashamed that my scoliosis could show in my physique. Once I found my “why,” I no longer wallowed in this diagnosis and knew that if I do my part, I’ll potentially live a healthy life pain-free through training and eating well.

How are training and nutrition different from a decade and two decades ago?

I think we have more knowledge due to increased studies on methods of training and nutrition. This information has resulted in us placing more emphasis and value on the importance of exercise and eating well. Historically, strength training, for instance, was limited to a particular group of individuals, i.e. bodybuilders like Arnold Schwarzenegger. Nowadays, I see 60-year-old women at the gym, picking up dumbells and training. It’s a positive step in the right direction.

On our health journey, what are the potential and possibilities?

I think many times we place limitations, whether conscious or sub-conscious, on ourselves through what is possible. These limitations often stem from our beliefs.

Most people don’t push themselves past their comfort zones enough and create excuses on why they are where they are. That’s why mindset and determining your reason for your health goals is so important. If you can solidify those reasons and make them your foundation for the decisions you make in your health journey, the possibilities are vast.

Help me understand some myths about fasting?

Fasting is one of the most misunderstood topics in today’s “diet culture” society. There are beneficial aspects to fasting for treating various ailments, and I know it has its purpose in varying religions and spiritual circles. But what bugs me is when people think fasting is a magical formula to losing weight. Instead, what happens is that many will make poor eating choices because they feel deprived in their fasting window and miss out on essential nutrients when they are eating. Another common myth is what they consume during the fasting window that breaks their fast unbeknownst to them.

Are diets fads, or are they here to stay?

I don’t think that diets will ever disappear. Most people will admit that they want to look their best and, unfortunately, many are looking for the next best diet or fad that will help them reach their goals as quickly as possible. It’s often due to a lack of knowledge because perhaps they’ve neglected their body for so long that they are not sure the best course of action to take, and they’ll resort to quick-fix diets. I always say that the best type of “diet” is one that makes you feel your best from the inside out and one that you can stick to.

Should all our meals be about protein?

Protein is an essential nutrient for optimal health. Proteins are building blocks of muscles, tendons, ligaments, hair, hormones, antibodies, organs, and neurotransmitters in your body. The role of protein is even more critical as we age.

It can help regulate hunger levels and reduce insulin spikes that can lead to insulin-sensitivity or being overweight or obese from a satiety standpoint. I think it’s good practice to incorporate an adequate amount of protein in each meal alongside a healthy fat and carb source. It’s all about balance.

What does women empowerment mean to you?

We need to continue working in our society to equalize men and women. Women have been under-valued throughout history and given less or no chance, in some cases, to make valuable contributions in their respective fields. I don’t think that it’s something that needs to happen where only women support other women. Instead, both men and women need to provide support so that women have a seat at the table and make important decisions alongside men.

How do you define beauty?

Beauty, for me, comes from a place of confidence. From an aesthetic standpoint, it’s highly subjective, but it always attracts my attention when a person owns whatever they’re putting out into the world. We are constantly bombarded with marketing and narratives in social media, influencing what we should perceive as beautiful. I’m always drawn to those that transmit positive energy that breaks the mold.

The post Niloo: A Winners Mindset appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

Jessica, talk to me about what is a Certified Master Nutrition Therapist?

Please help me understand a little bit about functional medicine, sports nutrition, and yoga and how do they all complement each other?

Weight loss is a multi-billion dollar business in the West. I like how you describe that you went from one school where you meditated and swam to another school where everyone went to the mall and ate fast food. Walk me through our present fast-food diet and how it is harming us?

I love food. However, so much of eating food is linked to metabolism, energy, mental clarity, and mood. I consider myself disciplined, but even I give into chips, ice cream, and snacks. Is there anything wrong with that?

I specialize in weight loss, digestion, and detoxification and have created programs centered on these areas.

The 30-Day Natural Weight Loss Course allows individuals to lose weight naturally and sustainably while learning the how’s and why’s. Throughout the program, I train individuals in understanding their specific biochemistry, habits, goals, and challenges. There are plenty of resources including webinars, an interactive eBook, a yoga video, weekly menu plans, grocery lists, and recipes included in it.

Food sensitivities can be challenging to identify because symptoms are delayed from 30 minutes to 72 hours. Due to this delay, it is very hard to isolate and identify the food that is causing inflammatory symptoms. There are two primary options for food sensitivity testing that I provide in my practice.

If I am eating healthy, and consuming my fruits and vegetables, do I still need supplements?

Stress is a part of our lives. Talk to me about how social media has messed us even more?

The post Jessica Reader: Master Nutrition Therapist appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

Be Happy Quote

If you want happiness for an hour – take a nap. If you want happiness for a day – go fishing. If you want happiness for a year – go fishing. If you want happiness for a lifetime – help someone else – Chinese Proverb

Jaishree Nenwani is a blogger focusing on happiness. I catch up with her and talk about life and her mantra, be happy.

Jaishree, thanks for this interview. Please tell me a little about you.

I’m just another girl next door.  A font of beaches and forests.  A couple of years ago, I faced some health issues, that confined me to my home. That was the time when I started my journey as a homepreneur. My first home business was a recruitment agency (I have a background in HR). This venture did well. But I wanted to do something more. More than just “work”.

What is GetSetHappy all about? Who is your audience? Why should we read it? What is the main message?

Well. GetSetHappy (GSH) is all about being Happy! Being who you really are and doing what matters most. When I started GetSetHappy, I was only focusing on sharing knowledge about self-improvement. My posts were only focused on achieving happiness. But over a period of time (in the course of my writing journey), I realized that happiness is not talking about happiness, it’s more of actually being happy. For me, happiness is a real state of being. So, eventually, I started writing about everything that makes me happy, right from traveling to lifestyle, food, fashion, beauty, health, and wellness. And one more section that I added to GSH is “Becoming a Homepreneur”. I added this because I wanted to share with my audience what I am good at i.e. home business. In the last couple of years, I worked on various projects, and different business ideas and finally, I landed up on blogging. My blogging journey is all about what I have learned (on both life and professional fronts) all my life.

Initially, my audience was people who were interested in reading about self-improvement. But now, most of my readers are interested in becoming homepreneurs. 

How did you come about with the idea of starting a blog?

I just started with the idea of sharing my ideas on happiness and self-improvement. I never thought that blogging could be a big business. So, it just happened.

Define happiness. What is it? Is it achievable?

For me, happiness is a state of contentment. One can become content with whatever he/she has. But we often base our happiness on our achievements. “I’ll be happy when I have….” and when we get that, the quest for the next goal begins. We continue to postpone our happiness.

It is 100% achievable (rather I would say attainable) at this very moment, only if we choose to be happy. So, it’s a choice.

Everyone faces challenges but being unhappy won’t let you overcome the problem. Instead, when we focus on happiness (keep our vibes high) problems pass away with ease.

Does social media help us to be happy? Everyone is always posting about their amazing life and you watch that and you are like my life is crappy.

I like social media. It is a great way to connect with people on both personal and professional fronts. In fact, I got the opportunity to connect with plenty of my childhood friends through Facebook only, but at some point, I think we have to balance our time to be more productive! We often waste lots of time mindlessly scrolling through the social media posts of others and comparing ourselves with them.

Social media has created unnecessary competition and comparisons. These two are the self-created enemies of happiness.

Are happiness and joy one and the same?

Now, this is a tricky question! Well, I have heard people counting the differences between joy and happiness. But I personally feel when you feel happiness (lasting happiness) in your core, there is no difference between the two. (I may be wrong but this is what I feel).

Talk to me about some challenges you have faced in your life and how you have overcome it.

One of the biggest challenges I have faced in my life was a severe health condition at a point of time when I was at the top of the world. Great job, happy relations. That was the turning point in my life. But it is said rightly that every obstacle comes with an opportunity. This condition became my ally for the inner journey and true happiness.

Walk me through the city you live in. The hustle, bustle, streets, food, and restaurants and why should we visit it?

I come from the city of foodies. The capital city of India- New Delhi. It is a vibrant place. People in my city are fond of dressing stylishly and food. One can enjoy a wide variety of food here, especially street food.

Delhi offers a large number of jobs in different sectors. If you are in Delhi, you must try the street food and go shopping.

Delhi is also rich in history, there are lots of beautiful monuments and parks which depict the stories of Mughals.

Delhi is famous for its cultural diversity, mouth-watering food, shopping, history, and luxurious lifestyle. It’s worth visiting for those who want to discover new places.

What does women’s empowerment mean to you?

Women’s empowerment means a lot to me. In a country like India, where gender inequality still exists, women’s empowerment plays a role. Although women are becoming self-empowered, they are giving value to themselves and their choices. I am glad such women not only stand by themselves but also for those who need an external push to get on.

How do you balance food faith finance and family in your life?

Balance is my priority. All these 4Fs are important to me. Well, I start my day with few minutes with myself, it’s the time when I meditate, reflect, and plan my day ahead. I believe in going with a plan. I know everything doesn’t go as per the plans but planning ahead makes me feel balanced and prepared for the day-long challenges. For me, planning is the key.

The post Happiness appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

With a population of over half a billion Millennials, India’s young adults are shaping the future of one of the world’s most dynamic nations. And among them is Richa Bhardwaj — a bright, candid, and passionate woman from the scenic hills of Himachal Pradesh. A postgraduate in biotechnology and a proud modern Indian woman, Richa brings her own brand of authenticity, humor, and courage to every conversation she enters.

In this interview, Richa opens up about everything from her love for fashion and selfies to her deep concerns about women’s safety in India. She shares what her generation craves most: acceptance, freedom, and change. Whether she’s talking about her favorite local foods or boldly calling for reform in the justice system, Richa speaks with a voice that is both personal and representative of millions.

I had the privilege of sitting down with Richa to hear her story — a glimpse into the heart of a modern Indian millennial woman. She’s real, she’s fierce, and she’s not afraid to say what needs to be said.

Let’s get to know her.

Richa, you are representing half a billion Millennials in India. What should I know about you?

Thanks, Jerry for choosing me to represent half a billion Millennials in India. Wow! No pressure. It’s a pleasurable moment for me.

Hello everyone. I am Richa Bhardwaj from Himachal Pradesh, India. I am a post-graduate in biotechnology, kind-hearted, compassionate in nature &  at many times an emotional fool.

Share with me some of your passions and hobbies?

I am passionate about shopping and trying all the new dresses and clothes that I buy. My hobby is to take selfies in different clothes and post them on social media.

Explain to me a little about your city, the food, culture, and some favorite restaurants?

I live in Solan (the Heart of Himachal Pradesh). It is a very quiet, peaceful and beautiful place.

The people here are very simple like me.  Solan has a lot of options for food, especially for those who want to explore and relish the local cuisines of Himachal.

The staple meal consists of dal, rice, roti, vegetables, and curd. Solan also has a number of traditional delicacies to savor like Lushke (pancake), Sidu (stuffed bread) and Poode (fried sweet roti).

My favorite restaurant is at Hotel Deventure.  I also like to chill at Café Coffee Day.

The historic UNESCO World Heritage Kalka Shimla toy train stops in my city. It was built by Herbert Septimus Harington in 1855 during the British rule. The railway line goes for 96 kilometers, through 20 railway stations, 103 tunnels, 800 bridges and a mind-blowing 900 curves. Tunnel 33 known as Barog tunnel is the most haunted place in India.

You are a modern woman in India. What does your generation want?

In my opinion, our generation wants acceptance of our views and life choices, freedom of expression with no retaliation, and freedom to follow our goals and our passions, with no judgment.

Name a couple of things you want to change about society?

I want to change the mentality and thinking of society, which I know for sure, I will never be able to change.. especially in India. India is the most unsafe country for women on the planet. I firmly believe that the courts need to be fast-tracked for rape cases and the perpetrators need to get the death penalty. This will deter men from raping women.

Help me understand some of the things you like about present-day society?

Yeah for sure. In our present-day society, women are empowered which has enriched India. Indian society is accepting progressive changes that are good for all.

What are three things that you cannot live without?

Heee… I cannot live without my family, my best friend and my wardrobe.

What do you want us to know about the Millennials?

India is home to half a billion Millennials. Today, these millennials form nearly half of India’s workforce. We are increasingly emerging as the chief wage earners, and are also under the spotlight for our spending and investment patterns. 

How is faith, family, finance and food important to you?

My family is my strength and my biggest weakness too. I think it’s enough to describe my love for family. Finance is important, as I am a shopaholic. I follow a strict diet and I need it to survive.

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