In a world where relationships often flicker and fade with life’s changing seasons, some love stories shine brighter with time. Glenn and Lee Fen’s journey began over three decades ago, when two young dreamers arrived in the snowy mountains of Switzerland — Glenn from India and Lee Fen from Malaysia — both eager to study hotel management and carve their futures in hospitality. What they didn’t know then was that their greatest lifelong adventure would not be found in their careers, but in each other.

From the classrooms of Les Roches to the ski slopes of Verbier, their friendship blossomed into a deep connection that would lead to marriage, migration, and the creation of a beautiful family life in Australia. Thirty-four years later, they look back not with nostalgia alone, but with gratitude — for lessons learned, challenges overcome, and love that has only grown stronger with time.

In this heartfelt conversation, Glenn and Lee Fen open up about how they knew they were meant for each other, the early struggles of living far from family, the changes marriage brought, and the secrets to keeping their bond alive after more than three decades. Their story reminds us that true love isn’t about perfection — it’s about patience, partnership, and a shared commitment to grow together, every single day.

When did you know Glenn, that Lee Fen was the one for you? Same for Lee Fen?

G. The moment I realized that Lee Fen was so genuine, so friendly, so full of life, and so uncomplicated with her approach to life.

L. I realized that Glenn was the one for me when I was all alone on stage in a ski resort – Verbier.  In my tiny accommodation, buried under layers of snow, I felt so lonely, missing my family, and all of a sudden, I realized that Glenn was the one for me.

I am sure dating was just fine with no problems and everything was smooth…what were the challenges?

G. The challenge for me was realizing that Lee Fen was extremely outgoing and all the guys at Les Roches were her friends.  There was no room for jealousy, I realized that love is sharing.

L. The challenge for me, being so far from my big and supportive family. I had no one to discuss with my new “friend”. We were living in a student community. I had not built any close friends. Furthermore, it was prohibitively expensive to call overseas so I couldn’t ask my siblings or parents for advice either.  The beauty of the situation was that we had to resolve any challenges between ourselves, being respectful of each other, and mutual understanding.  This helped us develop and strong relationship which still stands the test of time, 34 years later.

Marriage changes you forever.  How have both of you changed over the years?

G. I guess I have more lines on my face since marriage but I would not attribute them all to my lovely wife!!! The gravitational pull in the Southern Hemisphere is probably to blame!

Looking back over the years, I am a totally changed person.  Lee Fen has helped me understand the importance of kindness, generosity, sharing, giving, and eating.  Yes, cooking and enjoying good food is an integral part of Lee Fen’s Malaysian-Chinese heritage and I am fully immersed in it.  I have also learned to speak Teochew (Chiu Chow), to help me fit in better with her parents and siblings and now consider myself an honorary member of the Goh family clan.

L. I have learned to appreciate different things and to share in what Glenn enjoys.  From being a late-riser, I now get up before dawn for early morning walks, reflection, and exercise.  From being a person who was passionate about eating, I am now more aware of the connection between our health and the future of our world through our eating habits.  I am stronger, wiser, more independent, more accepting and despite all this, I am still learning.

Marriage has its ups and downs.  However, we have to make it through.  Help me understand that in your situation?

G/L. It is very important to be able to communicate openly, without blame or judgment.  We have followed a simple rule – it’s perfectly alright to say what’s on your mind so long as you are not hurting the other person. There are no winners in this partnership because if one wins the other loses and that’s simply not acceptable.

PS from Glenn.  I used to be a person who took his grudges and disappointments un-spoken to bed believing that one could sleep away worries but after meeting Lee Fen I changed my mantra and I now believe that it is so important, most imperative, to resolve any issues and not to sleep over them because you never know if there will be a tomorrow and if you are robbed of a new day, you have lost the chance to make good.

Give the younger generation some tips on how to be a good husband/wife and mother/father?

G/L. What has worked well for us in a family situation is being open and approachable as partners and as parents.  Our children often commented in their early years that both parents would stand by each other’s decisions.  I guess it was very frustrating for our children, never being able to play off one parent against another.  This is exactly what comes out of openness and frank communication in a family.

We also had a policy of working with our children on their level, employing reason rather than a commanding and authoritarian approach.  Now with our children well into their 20’s, we can all still live together under one roof as friends, that’s no mean feat when you consider that there are always four opinions to consider.

Our “tip” for partners in a relationship or parents is: show empathy, practice selflessness and most importantly in this “me-first” age, remember to shine the spotlight on others!

Romance needs to be kept alive in a marriage…. explain (this is a family blog)?

It’s true that the excitement of a new relationship wears out in time and the way we have kept the fire going is by sharing and appreciating each other.  We always try hard to give each other our undivided attention when we need to listen, share and comment.  In this highly connected world, it is so easy to get distracted by the noise, by the sheer volume of communication, by the persuasiveness of people and media who are always screaming out for attention.  When the pressure gets too much we simply retreat to the basics – a shared meal, a walk by the beach, watching a foreign language movie, read a book and narrate the parts you find interesting, a long drive in the hills, a thank you note, a glass of our favorite drink by candlelight!  It’s true, we really do this!

I am sure you never argue, never fight, and just have this amazing perfect marriage.

The word perfect does not exist in a marriage, we believe.  Marriage is the coming together of two, very different individuals who commit being together for the rest of their lives come what may.  In other words, a recipe for disaster.  We have argued, we have fought, we have been grumpy and cranky but we have always made up and accepted blame where it was due.

Anything you want to say to your younger selves?

Aren’t you glad you followed your dreams; you went where there was no clear path to follow, you looked forward and not back and you did this together?

Who is more romantic, humbler, more gentle, kind, and passionate?

If you can find all these characteristics in one person hold that person and never let go.  Jokes aside, we strive towards these ideals but we are not yet there.  Watch this space!

What are some good restaurants in Adelaide?

We don’t do fancy, we go for simple, wholesome, passionate, true to its origins. Not all the places listed here are restaurants.  Vietnamese at Pho Ba Ria 2, Northern Italian at Andre’s Cucina, Malaysian Hawker only at Chef Lai, French Pastries at Mulot’s, Modern Australian at River Cafe, Fine Dining at Mayflower Restaurant, Wasai (Japanese), Africola….

Tell me something funny that has happened in your marriage?

Somewhere along the way we have switched identities making us think and act like the other.  We have acquired characteristics and habits from each other and sometimes one of us will finish the other one’s sentences to a comment “how did you even know what I was going to say!!!!”

We have been blessed. Long live love.

The post Glenn and Lee Fen: Marriage Made in Heaven appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

Jackie, a very close and dear friend of mine is getting married in two weeks time. Due to unforeseen circumstances, I cannot make it to the wedding. Last week, we spoke for a while and I gave her some advice. I thought I might as well write about it.

Jackie, it is awesome to see you getting married. I know you have wanted this for a long time. You have moved cities, gone out of your comfort zone and have made this decision.

I am going to give you a few pieces of practical advice.

Intentional is not a word used in marriage terminology. I insist the day you get married, is to become intentional about having a great marriage.

Now is a great marriage made in Hollywood? Live happily ever after…a prolonged honeymoon phase.

Appreciate each other’s differences

“Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fence, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.” – Maya Angelou

Men and women are different physically, emotionally, mentally, psychologically and their approach to life. Accept it, embrace it, and remember it daily. 2 +2 =4. 3 +1 = 4. 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 = 4. So, remember there are different ways of doing things.

Be grateful daily

“I love you’, ‘I’m here for you’, “I understand’, ‘I’m sorry’, ‘Thank you’, ‘I really appreciate all that you do’, ‘It’s so nice to see you’, ‘That was quite an accomplishment!'” — Gina Spielman

Being grateful is a choice, commitment, and determinant.

You have found a partner, a readymade family, someone who loves you and gets you. Become grateful.

Forgive often

“A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.” – Ruth Bell Graham

“Forgiveness is a key element in healthy marriages. Forgiveness is the oil that lubricates a love relationship, and it’s the oil we need daily. Forgiveness is not a one-time event; it’s an attitude of wanting to partner with your spouse in spite of his or her imperfections and irritations” David and Claudia Arp

He is coming into the marriage with a lot of irritations and imperfections. You will experience pain and suffering in marriage. Fumbling, lack of communication, disagreements happen even in a healthy relationship. Be intentional in forgiving.

No place for criticism or blame

“What you are facing is intended to strengthen your marriage, not destroy it.” – Jackie Bledsoe

FAULT = CRITICISM = BLAME = RESENTMENT = ANGER = FEAR = VICTIM THINKING = NO RESPONSIBILITY

Your partner is human with weaknesses. You need to focus on his strengths. Criticizing him will only bring him down.

Be patient

^“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.” – 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (ESV)

Your marriage will become better as time passes by. Just be patient.

Take responsibility and stay connected

“One of the worst things a couple can do is live on their own little island. People who think of their marriage in terms of an isolationist mindset, do so at their own peril” – Mark Gungor

It is very easy to lose sight of one another as you lead busy lives. Everything is fighting for your attention. Children, computers, smartphones, work, various activities. You need to take responsibility to stay emotionally, mentally, spiritually, psychologically, and physically connected.

Touch often

I would strongly encourage you to hold hands very often. All research points to the fact that when we touch each other, a stronger bond is created by releasing oxytocin.

Do not try to change him

“God doesn’t want me to be a ‘fix him’ wife, God wants me to be a ‘love him’ wife.”- Lysa TerKeurst

Only a baby in dirty diapers likes change. You cannot teach an old dog new tricks. A leopard does not change its spots. All you can do is change yourself. If you try to change your spouse’s personality, it is disrespectful, creates an emotional distance, he will feel unworthy and you will become emotionally exhausted.

He is not there to make you happy

Marriage is a mosaic you build with your spouse. Millions of tiny moments make up your love story. – Jennifer Smith

The best way to destroy your marriage is to have unrealistic expectations. He will meet all my needs, he is there to make me happy, and he will fill the void in my life.

You are responsible for your own happiness. Know the difference between cohabitation and marriage. You are not getting married so that you can get what you want but more about what you can give.

Date often

“When a couple spends time alone each week, their levels of happiness, positive communication….are more than three times higher than those who don’t spend that time together” – Dr. Greg Smalley

Date night is not about talking about kids, finances, or issues. It is about spending time and enjoying each other. Go on dates and have fun.

Communicate

“What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility – Leo Tolstoy

Always communicate with one another. You will develop a special language. It is a fun and productive process. You will minimize confusion and always be assured.

You are in it for life

The D-word does not exist in your marriage. You are in this for good. Work at it daily. Be intentional in everything you do and stay in touch.

Photo Credits: Samantha Gades on Unsplash, Oscar Ivan Esquivel Arteaga on Unsplash, Anna Utochkina on Unsplash, Gabrielle Henderson on Unsplash, Ngọc Hằng on Unsplash, Pablo Heimplatz on Unsplash, Elise St. Clair on Unsplash, Daniel Suarez Photography on Unsplash,  Adika Suhari on Unsplash, Ross Findon on Unsplash,  frank mckenna on Unsplash, Christin Hume on Unsplash

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