Dr. Valerie Fitzpatrick is a chiropractor offering gentle chiropractic services to the Greater Toronto Area community. Her practice is centered around Network Spinal Analysis (NSA) approach to health and healing. Network Care is a very gentle therapy that can be helpful with people of all ages, from newborns to the elderly.  Dr. Valerie Fitzpatrick teaches her patients to use a variety of home techniques, including breathing, gentle stretching, and other exercises to support the progress they make in their sessions with her. As chronic tension patterns are shifted, muscles and joints begin to move and respond in new healthy ways. Over time, patients develop new ways of dealing with physical, mental and emotional stress, leading to pain reduction, increased energy and improved sleep patterns. I catch up with her to talk about what is a chiropractor and how they help us lead a healthier life.

Valerie, tell me a little about you, and what made you want to become a chiropractor? 

I think that I have always had an analytical mind and a love for understanding the human body. I have also had a lifelong love of art.  Along the way, I thought of a career in medical illustration, and then spinal cord research, but then came to realize that Chiropractic was what I wanted to do. I had personally experienced the benefits of chiropractic care with occasional wellness treatments during my childhood. Later in my teens, it was my chiropractor who had a significant impact on my life and health. At the age of 16, I nearly died from viral encephalitis, an acute infection of the brain. I had been hospitalized for a long time and had lingering effects from the illness. It was my chiropractor who helped me and gave me lifestyle guidance as I was finding my way back to health. I went on to undergrad studies in Neuroscience and then postgraduate studies in Chiropractic.

Tell us about your practice as a chiropractor? 

I have had a family practice for 23 years, seeing infants to advanced seniors.  Some of my patients are competitive athletes, some are highly sensitive people, some have had multiple accidents or surgeries, some are dealing with autoimmune disorders, some have anxiety disorders and the list goes on.   I initially started practice with conventional chiropractic techniques, but then was introduced to Network Spinal care which I found so personally beneficial.  I began continuing studies in Network care, and I have been using it as my primary method for the past 19 years. I enjoy using the precise low-force adjustments to reduce the tension along their spinal cord, and muscles, and release the fixations along their spine; I especially like the Network emphasis on considering every patient as a whole complex person with a body, mind, and soul – with their own unique history and outlook. 

How do you help patients find a balance around all the anxiety in the 21^st century?

I think the first step in helping someone is taking the time to ask them about their lifelong stressors and traumas, and truly listening. Whether it is abandonment, financial stress, bullying, an eating disorder, divorce, immigration, loss of a job, chronic disability, change of school or work, abuse, or co-dependence – these things can all contribute to a patient’s current health issues. These things can also lead to a state of helplessness or anxiety.

Secondly, by using the Network care techniques I can help people learn, or rather relearn, to breathe fully and deeply again. This can help them switch off the chronic flight-fight-freeze stress response in the autonomic nervous system. Sometimes, I will also teach patients some spinal awareness breathing exercises called Somato Respiratory Integration to help them connect with their body and breath again. When people are more self-aware, they can also be more adaptable to whatever life will throw at them.

With other patients I also talk about expressing healthy anger, setting healthy boundaries, developing attachments to safe people, eating healthy, exercising, and about self-affirmation through pursuing a passion. I can talk more about these topics another time if you’d like.

Talk to me about being a single parent and how you balance being a chiropractor, a business owner, and a single mother?

Well, yes life has not really gone as I planned, but I have learned to grow and stretch myself with each challenge and each stage of life.  I started my chiropractic practice when I was single; at that time, I was able to focus on work, exercise, spiritual growth, and time with friends. A few years later finding myself divorced with a three-year-old daughter while setting up in a new office as a chiropractor definitely changed my priorities and my schedule. I can’t say that I have always had balance in my life, but I have been willing to adapt and willing to grow. There are things that we can control, but so many things we can’t. A child becoming seriously ill, a car accident, a concussion, the hormonal changes of mid-life, a parent in a health crisis; these are just a few examples.  Life is ever-changing, so what works as a balanced schedule at one stage, will not even be possible at another stage.

Personally, my life and work choices have been based on what was best for my daughter and myself, for our physical health as well as our mental and spiritual health. I put my money into quality food as a priority over expensive vacations.  I have dedicated time for friendships that are safe and nurturing. I decided that no matter how busy I am, I will try to ensure that my daughter knows that I am there for her and that home is a safe place, a haven from the world.  Decisions about work location and office hours have also been based on family needs. I make time to get outside for prayer walks with my Creator; that always puts things into perspective for me and keeps life from feeling overwhelming.

Before I was married, I regularly worked out at the gym in solitude, doing weight training and cardio. As a single parent with a young daughter, I couldn’t do that. I learned to exercise at home with a few basic pieces of equipment: resistance bands, a yoga mat, an exercise ball, various dumbbells, and a weighted ball. As my daughter got old enough to be on her own, I found that I could join a gym again, but I realized that I also needed some fun social time. I was starting to feel isolated as a single mom with a solo practice. So instead of joining a gym again, I took different sport and dance classes- lots and lots of classes. That way I met my need for exercise, music, and socialization with other adults.  Now I am back to going to the gym, but I am doing things like boot camp, yoga, and weight-training classes. 

Talk to me about your art and why hobbies and pursuing a passion are important?

As I mentioned earlier, art was one of my first loves, especially pottery and painting.  I did lose connection with my creative side during the years of starting my practice, going through a painful marriage, motherhood, and divorce. When I was in the midst of a particularly difficult time, a few years ago I found art again. It became my therapy.  Art has been a grounding and energizing force in my life again. I no longer paint with a concern about impressing other people with my technical ability. I paint to express my inner self and honor the urge to create.  I have been able to be a part of three art shows now; I have grown from the vulnerability of showing my work, I have felt the deep joy of hearing that someone was moved by my art, and I have felt my self-esteem grow.  I have been able to share my love of art with my daughter, and it has been a bonding activity for us.

Photo Credit: Memories by Moxley

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What is psychotherapy?

Talk therapy, also called psychotherapy, is to help people deal with challenges in life, emotional difficulties, and mental illness. Psychotherapy helps a person to make their life better through introspection and healing.

If we start being honest about our pain, our anger, and our shortcomings instead of pretending they don’t exist, then maybe we’ll leave the world a better place than we found it. – Russell Wilson

Some of the most comforting words in the universe are ‘me too.’ That moment when you find out that your struggle is also someone else’s struggle, that you’re not alone, and that others have been down the same road. – Unknown

Anything human is mentionable, and anything mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary. – Fred Rogers

The strongest people are those who win battles we know nothing about. – Unknown

Introduction

I got the most horrifying text of my life. A very close friend of mine, since college, had passed away on Tuesday early morning.

It is not possible. We just spoke on Monday morning. We were going to have lunch on Thursday. I was teasing him about being the king of Facebook. Also, since his dad was 90, I told him that he would probably outlive all of us and therefore attend my funeral.

After that, on a cold day in March, here I was at the funeral home facing his cold, lifeless body. In addition, a thousand memories since we were teenagers kept flashing across my mind.

The same year in April, a young gentleman drove a van across a street where I had lived for more than a decade, killing 10 people and injuring 16.

Similarly, in July as I was heading to the Danforth for a meeting, another male shot and killed 2 people and injured 13 at a nearby restaurant.

Three incidents in less than six months hit home. Why? Could any of the above situations be avoided?

Life happens

My close friend had issues from a young age. It tormented him. Over the years, I begged him, pleaded with him to get help. In 2015, he lost his job and disappeared. I finally got hold of him six months later and he was putting up a front. In 2017, I took him out for lunch for his birthday. Little did I realize that would be the last time I would be seeing him. We spoke throughout the summer, about his marriage, his parenting and how he felt about living in the basement of his parents’ home.

Above all, unemployed, separated from his wife, alone, lonely, feeling rejected, drugs and booze became his best friends. What stopped him from getting help? Did he not realize the hurt he was causing those close to him and especially his kids?  How come he did not know his limits and boundaries? Why did he not seek psychotherapy?

What is masculinity?

As I think about my friend and the other two men, involved in the killings, I am forced to ask myself, why do men not get help? Is it a sign of weakness? Is it considered macho to just suck up and deal with your issues through drugs, porn and substance abuse? Is this masculinity?

Or is masculinity dealing with our issues head-on, accepting responsibility for where you are in life, being grateful, forgiving and getting help?

I wish the three men would have got help. They could have avoided so much pain for themselves and those around them.

Advantages of getting help

When you go to see a psychotherapist, you get feedback on what you are going through from an objective perspective. Here is a trained third-party individual who listens, gives you feedback on what you are going through.

The second advantage is that you get to deal with your negative past. The therapist might ask you to write down your hurts, resentments, bitterness issues, challenges or just he/she will listen.

The third advantage is that it allows you to get in touch with reality. When you are doing drugs, booze, porn, and sleeping around, these are helping you to escape reality.

The fourth advantage is that you end up in better mental and physical health.

The fifth advantage is that it allows you to get to the root cause of your problems. The therapist gives you healthy coping mechanisms.

The final advantage is that you learn to take it easy on yourself and finally no one is judging you at the clinic. They are all encouraged that you have the courage and guts to deal with your issues.

I challenge you that if you are facing issues no matter what go ahead and get professional help.

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