Change in life refers to the process of transformation or transition from one state to another. It can happen in many areas, including personal growth, relationships, career, health, or even one’s mindset. Life changes can be planned, like moving to a new city or starting a new job, or they can be unexpected, like facing loss or a sudden opportunity.

Adapting to change in life can be challenging, but it is a crucial skill for growth and resilience. The first step is acknowledging that change is inevitable and resisting it can lead to more stress. Acceptance allows you to focus on how to deal with the new situation rather than dwelling on how things used to be. View change as an opportunity for growth, learning, or improvement.

Flexibility in your mindset and actions is key to adapting. Life rarely goes exactly as planned, so being able to adjust your goals, routines, and expectations can make transitions smoother. Break down the change into manageable parts. Focusing on small, actionable steps can reduce feelings of overwhelm and help you gradually adapt to new circumstances. Every change, whether positive or negative, offers lessons. Reflect on what you can learn from the situation and how it can help you grow personally or professionally.

Sharing your feelings or seeking advice from friends, family, or mentors can provide emotional support. If the change demands new skills or knowledge, take proactive steps to learn. During times of change, it’s easy to feel powerless. Focusing on aspects you can control, such as your attitude, effort, and actions, helps you feel more empowered and less anxious.

Sheenia is a blogger from Live Love & Blossom a lifestyle blog focusing on personal growth and intentional living.  She talks to Four Columns about her blog and the life changes.

Sheenia, a pleasure to have you on Four Columns. Could you tell my audience something unique about you?

Thanks for having me, Jerry. Wow… I love this question because I think we’re all unique in our way. One of the things that make me unique is that I’m a daydreamer. I love being alone so I can daydream and get lost in my thoughts. Sometimes, my daydreams grow into stories—and then I write them down for others to read and enjoy. I think most writers and creatives often daydream—that’s where a lot of great ideas are born.

I was hoping you could help me understand how writing is a therapy for you.

I’ve always loved writing since childhood. I remember rushing home every day after school so I could pull out my diary and start writing… For me, writing is therapeutic because it helps me understand myself better. It allows me to process my thoughts and feelings, and healthily release my emotions. Writing is a form of self-care and self-discovery. When I don’t prioritize my writing, I start to feel lost and off-center. I’ve found that the more I write, the more I heal and grow.

Walk me through how your blog helps your audience navigate life. 

Live Love & Blossom is a lifestyle blog dedicated to personal growth and intentional living. We cover topics on self-care, self-love, faith, family, and self-development. On my blog, I like to combine my personal experiences, along with research, to share relatable tips and ideas that will help my audience navigate the highs and lows of everyday life.

In life and work the only constant is change. Give my audience advice on how to navigate change in life. 

This is an interesting topic because I recently published an article about navigating change and life transitions. Personally, this current season of my life has been all about learning to embrace change and flexibility. So, I think that’s the key—having an understanding that life is change and being able to embrace flexibility throughout your journey. I highly recommend reserving quiet time to be alone, for self-reflection and meditation. If you’re expecting a significant change soon, you should give yourself time and space to process your emotions. This can help mentally prepare and strengthen you for the changes that lie ahead. Also, I’d like to remind everyone (including myself) that although change is usually scary, it can be a good thing in the end.

Is happiness and joy the same thing? Is happiness elusive?

Hmm… let me think about it for a second… No, I wouldn’t say that happiness and joy are the same thing. I think happiness is a more detailed and short-term feeling. Joy, on the other hand, is a more long-term inner state of being. For example, I recently lost my grandmother. So, I’m not particularly feeling “happy” at the moment. However, I still have joy because my grief doesn’t negate my many blessings. I also have joy because my grandmother lived a long, fulfilling life. So, I’m outwardly sad because of her passing, but my internal joy remains. It can be easy to confuse happiness and joy sometimes, but I think they’re different when you think about it.

Self-love and self-care are just buzzwords or important in life. What are some practical ways we can practice both? 

With the rise of social media, we hear the words self-love and self-care fairly often. However, contrary to what some people may think, self-love and self-care are more than just trendy terms. I struggled with low self-worth for several years. I felt like I was drowning in a sea of insecurities. Then, God led me on a journey to self-love, and it changed my life. Self-love and Self-care are both essential for our health and happiness—and they often go hand in hand. Some practical ways we can practice self-love and self-care are by establishing healthy boundaries, engaging in positive self-talk, connecting with nature, and being mindful of both the foods and media that we consume.

 How have marriage and motherhood changed you?

I married my high school sweetheart nearly 20 years ago, and we share a beautiful daughter. I’ve changed in many ways since becoming a wife and mom. For starters, I’m a lot less selfish than I used to be. Having a family has taught me about compromise, sacrifice, and prioritizing other people’s needs and interests. Marriage and motherhood both require a lot of work, which naturally develops patience and growth. Altogether… I’m better, stronger, and happier than before.

Advise yourself at 19, 29 and 39.

I’d tell the 19-year-old version of me to fall in love with herself before anyone else. Additionally, I’d tell her to not compare herself to others because everyone’s journey is unique. I’d tell the 29-year-old version of me to not allow society to dictate her happiness. I’d advise her to believe in herself and her choices and to be OK with living a life that others may not understand. As for my 39-year-old self… Well, that’s the current version of me. There are so many things I’d tell myself at this age. But the most important piece of advice I’d give myself now would be to trust in God’s timing. Even though waiting is hard, I’m learning that God’s plan is perfect and greater than mine.

What does women’s empowerment mean to you?

For me, women’s empowerment is all about improving the way we think and feel about ourselves and our choices. Feeling empowered means loving myself, being confident in the pursuit of my goals, and living a life that feels true to my values. I think women’s empowerment involves giving others the hope and inspiration to live their lives freely and authentically.

Talk to me a little about the city you live in, the food scene, and why we should visit. 

I live in the suburbs of Dallas, TX. The area I reside in has a nice historical vibe. It is a college town, having several state universities, which makes it entertaining. It is also known for its musical heritage and artistic downtown buildings. If you’re ever in the Dallas-Fort Worth metroplex, I’m sure you’d enjoy our burgers, barbecue, and Tex-Mex cuisine.

The post Change in Life appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

Welcome back, Jaishree, what is new and exciting in your life since our last interview?

Hi Jerry, Thank you for having me again on your amazing blog. I just love reading your posts.

Life has been quite happening in the past few years. My blog GetSetHappy has gained good traction over these years (Thankfully! I am so grateful to the universe and my readers for their support).

I also published my first paperback book Tiny Habits Massive Results, which is like achieving a milestone for me.

Talk to me about your book Tiny Habits Massive Results.

No one in the world is untouched by problems, I am no different. Several years back I faced a serious health issue (a sort of spinal cord disorder) that forced me to leave my corporate job and sit at home. That was a turning point in my life. I was at a zero level in all areas of my life- Health, career, money, relationships. But as it is said- every obstacle brings a new opportunity- it gives us a chance to look at life from a different perspective. This made me take a pause and look at life from a different angle.

Tiny Habits Massive Results’ is a nutshell of my journey. The book primarily talks about certain habits that helped me overcome the major challenges of my life (health, being the most prominent of all, though I am still recovering). I have penned down those 7 (plus a pro habit) habits in the book. I have also discussed how one can adapt and sustain those habits for improving their life in all aspects.

Is this your first book? How was the process? 

Yes! This is my first paperback book. Though I wrote a few small eBooks before this one, I am not really counting those.

The process of writing wasn’t too difficult, as I am a blogger and most importantly I enjoy writing. But the publishing part was a bit straining. Initially, I had no one to guide me. I didn’t know any publisher, and with so many of them offering a variety of additional services, it was so confusing for me to decide which one to choose. But as we say – Just start somewhere and you will find the way. Slowly and steadily things become smoother and the whole process becomes easier. But overall, I enjoyed the entire experience.

Do you find writing cathartic?

Absolutely! 200%. In my book, one of the habits that I have mentioned is- Journaling ( a form of writing). When you write (in a journal or computer or even a blog) you are letting the extra baggage out of your mind. This is like an emotional release – it’s therapeutic. So, writing has helped me a lot to process my emotions, let go of what doesn’t serve me anymore, and release the negative thoughts that I have been holding for a long time.

You have a blog, and are an author, what is next on the horizon?

Ahh. I had never thought I would start a blog. I had never thought I would publish a book, So as of now I don’t have any plans. I would let life unfold itself.

The post Tiny Habits appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

There is a reason I have listed the three together. I am being practical here. I cannot expect you to exercise and meditate daily in the morning. So try one of the above.

Regular exercise is good for you. Exercise releases feel-good endorphins and other natural brain chemicals. The morning is the conclusive time to energize your muscles through, weights, stretching, cardio, or walking.

The Mayo Clinic states that meditation gives you a sense of tranquility that is good for your physical, and mental health and emotional well-being.

The John Hopkins Institute states that listening to music exercises the brain and reduces blood pressure, anxiety and pain.

Research has shown that listening to music can reduce anxiety, blood pressure, and pain as well as improve sleep quality, mood, mental alertness, and memory.

The habits of exercising, meditating, and listening to music regularly will empower and transform you and result in better health, sleep, and mental alertness.

Check your emails, Read up on Your Industry

Stop looking at your smartphone first thing in the morning. Get up early, exercise, meditate, have a healthy breakfast and now look at your emails. Read up on what is happening in your industry. Watch a motivational video to prepare you for the day. This will transform and empower you to get ready for the day and give you the power of how you want to feel. Do not focus on social media to validate yourself.

Be around positive people. Remember I did not say, perfect people. It is essential to surround yourself with positive people because this habit will empower and transfer you to lasting success. Positive people are the catalyst to encourage you to become better and to deal with your daily challenges.

Positive people are in touch with reality. Positive people have your best interest at heart and want you to become better daily. This daily encouragement allows you to achieve your goals. You feel better about yourself and are full of energy.

Positive people are like honey. Everyone is drawn to them. Set yourself up for success. Surround yourself with positive people and become empowered and transform yourself to become a successful person.

Self-care is empowering and can transform you

What is self-care? Self-care is the intentional and concerned process of taking care of and improving your mental, emotional, physical, financial, and spiritual health with a balanced lifestyle. Self-care is taking care of yourself and it is very important. Self-care means taking good care of yourself. It is also about being kind to yourself and practicing self-compassion. However, not everything like drugs, alcohol, over-eating, or risk-taking that feels good is self-care. There is a big difference between self-care and unhealthy coping mechanisms. Self-care is good for you and has long-term benefits for the mind and the body.

The moment we align our goals, values, and ethos with our job, friends, charitable giving, and the various organizations that we are part of, cognitive dissonance disappears. We are happy. We live purpose-driven life. Everything makes sense.

Allow time for your body and brain to recharge. Reward yourself by relaxing, going for a massage, visiting a spa, or going for a swim and this will empower and transform you.

Have a few close and trusted friends

The post 11 Habits that will transform and empower you appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

Stuck means you are in a situation that is unfortunate that you cannot get out of. Unstuck is the process and framework of getting out of that unfortunate situation.

The synonyms for stuck include: frozen, jammed, lodged, set, tight, wedged, and snug. There are certain words attached to stuck: bonded, cemented, glued, embedded, entrenched, immovable, and unyielding. You see where I am going.

It is a new year. We do not have to be stuck to old ideas, concepts, ways of doing things, and mindsets. These are literally harming you.

Getting unstuck is the answer. Become intentional and find ways and solutions to barriers that are holding you back.

I talk to Cheryl Patterson who holds a B.A. in Psychology from the University of Waterloo, in addition to an applied background in both counseling and business.

Her passion to help others led her from the daunting anticipation of doing it from a desk to being able to have more freedom and more of an impact as a freelance writer and magazine columnist for more than twenty years. She has inspired thousands of people with her health and well-being articles and columns in national and international magazines and continues to do so in her own publication.

Cheryl also continues to inspire people internationally with her podcast and book.

Cheryl shares her most vulnerable feelings and experiences in this interview.

Cheryl, welcome to FourColumns. I find writing cathartic. What drew you to writing?

Writing has always been a passion for me, originally as a way to express myself as a child, and later to also teach what I learn. I used to carry a book around with me in my 20’s to jot down ideas as I thought of them. I think one of my first ideas that randomly came to mind was about the stepping stones of life, and how our experiences were a step leading us to the next one.

I’ve also always wanted to help people. At first, I thought I wanted to do it through counseling, and got my B.A. in Psychology and counseling diploma. However, I realized that I could have just as much (if not more) impact through writing.

We all get stuck in life. Marriage with no romance or life, dead-end job, cynical family, toxic friends, and emotionally burned. How does your podcast deal with and talk about these issues?

The podcast, Unstuck: Stay Busy or Get Real, deals with all of these issues because they all come from core areas that we can pay attention to and begin to modify in simple ways in order to progress forward.

For instance, our self-worth can impact all of these areas we can get stuck in. If you’re struggling with low self-worth, how do you attract people in your life that will treat you like you deserve to be treated, or strive for the job you really want?

Once you realize some of the areas keeping you stuck, you can begin to make changes to improve them. The podcast provides insight into areas that can impact your personal or professional success and provides suggestions for actions that can help you get unstuck and move forward. This can be general life challenges, or ones that seem to come out of know where, or even periodically, like the holidays – a difficult time for a lot of people.

Do not get me started about the holidays. We create the perfect cards, the perfect ads on TV, the perfect romance, the perfect snowfall. Talk about this pressure and how to deal with it?

Like most stressful experiences, once you realize it’s taking its toll, then you can begin tweaking things to create improvements for the better.

Sometimes we do these holiday things in the guise of happiness, but if it’s not making you happy, take some time to think about why. Make a list of what’s making you happy, and what’s not. Share some of the responsibilities that someone else might not mind doing so that you can do more of what you enjoy. Pay attention to your wants and needs and make sure there’s a balance between this and what you do for others, and focus more on meaning and fulfillment rather than perfection.

For those who are alone or struggling because of loss around this time of year, creating change is your friend. Doing the same things will get you the same results, and feelings… Plan ahead for a different experience. Create new routines and traditions in support of feeling better. For instance, instead of mourning someone, honor them instead. Bake or cook something they used to (or used to like) as a special gesture to them. The ideas are endless. Just make it special and positive to create a new experience moving forward. I’ve been here and this is what helped me.

As I get older, my friends, career, family, and direction are all aligned with my goals and value. I also had to dig deep and see where I get my identity from. I was stuck in certain areas of how I thought. If we do not deal with it we get worried, stressed, ashamed, and feel unwanted. You deal with these issues in the book. Walk me through it?

Put simply, to be happy in life, in any area, we have to be real with ourselves, regarding what needs are being met from all of these areas you mentioned (relationships, career, goals, etc.), and which ones aren’t, and this comes from within.

It can be easy to blame the outside world regarding why things aren’t working, but this just keeps us stuck. It’s important to pay attention to things like how you’re feeling, what’s nagging at you, possible triggers, and possible things about yourself that may be holding you back.

Any struggle you experience is tied to your emotions (your subconscious), which inhibits your progress. We want to stay safe, even without realizing it, and even if it means we’re in pain or struggle because it’s what’s familiar and easy. To get unstuck, and get to where you want to go or to be the person you desire to be, means you have to be honest with yourself.

Do you have hidden shame, feel poorly about yourself (in spite of the brave front you present to the world), engage in the same scenarios over and over? This is all potential learning, letting you know that you have an opportunity for growth that can get you closer to your ideal self and experiences.

The more we learn about ourselves, our struggles and patterns, and why they’re there, the more we can live more in alignment with a happier and more fulfilling life. It opens us up to healthier relationships, achieves our goals, and makes living a more fulfilled life attainable.

The alternative is to keep things the same – to stay in emotional turmoil (i.e. shame, guilt, fear, worry, doubt, feeling poorly about yourself, etc.) – which will result in the same chaotic outcomes, and lead to poor health. You can’t be stressed and healthy simultaneously because your immune system is suppressed and your body is fighting a toxic chemical cocktail in this state.

My book, The Little Black Book For Getting Unstuck, provides some quick, simple, and straightforward ways that you can get unstuck, and live more in alignment with your ideal self and life. And I don’t just tell, I put myself out there too, and get vulnerable, and share some of my own obstacles that I’ve had to overcome in my life since childhood. Not pretty, but necessary.

Many of my readers are stuck. Give them hope for 2022?

I came from an unstable family, with parents that had no idea about how to deal with conflict, other than alcohol, violence, chaos, and breakups. Most of my childhood was spent in and out of foster care. Fortunately, I was one of the fortunate ones because of some of the people I met that helped me feel loved and worthy enough to require more from myself than to become the negative things I saw.

Thankfully, I’ve also always had a mind of my own, and although my past created many obstacles for me to overcome, such as low self-worth (something that took me a lifetime to realize was even an issue), shame, fear, doubt, I pushed through. If I ran into situations I wanted to overcome, I learned about how to improve them, and I still do. I’ve been passionate about putting every lesson, tool, story, or experience into practice to become the person I want to be, living the life I want to live. It hasn’t always been easy for me, but perseverance and learning have been everything. Learning really has been powerful for me because it enables growth and success.

If I could give you one tip for 2022, it would be to carve out 10-15 minutes a day to learn something that will improve your situation. The most impactful learning will be about yourself, and it doesn’t have to be complicated. It can be as simple as learning about a few practices you can add to your day to help you stay accountable for whatever goal you’re striving for, or to help you maintain self-confidence in an area you’re struggling with or ways to feel better. Think about an area that you’re struggling with and start from there. And never give up.

I have a morning ritual that starts with things that keep me feeling peaceful and happy (an open vs. closed state for achieving daily tasks/goals), even on those days, it feels challenging. Meditation, journaling (including gratitude), and learning are three staples that are as important as brushing my teeth. Think about a little ritual you can create for yourself to set the pace for your day, inspire and keep you feeling balanced, and act as a buffer and a preventative for those days you feel off.

The post Getting Unstuck: How To Become Happier appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

Kylie is a personal trainer, fitness nutritionist specialist, and mother. She is a firm believer in women empowering themselves and to practice intentional living. This intentional living is a blessing that gives you the power to nourish your body and soul and to thrive with self-love, self-worth, and confidence. It will make you radiant in every area of life.

Kylie, tell me something unique and different about you?

I love journaling! I once heard someone say, “Wisdom lies in the questions, not the answers.” It is through journaling that I truly understood how powerful questions are. The prompts in journals always set me off into deep thoughts and reflections, uncovering so many insights and clarity. Journaling has expanded my views and guided me to give thoughts on critical issues and aspects of life that I normally wouldn’t have given much attention to. So, I am constantly on a lookout for good journals!

I love the word empowering and intentional living. Talk to me about how you use it in your practice?

To bring health and nutrition effortlessly into your life, it’s crucial that we look at your life in its entirety rather than just solely nutrition. You are a real person with a career to excel in, family to raise, and passions to pursue. Your life doesn’t revolve just around nutrition. It’s not realistic to focus only on nutrition and neglect other aspects of your life. Merging intentional living with nutrition will allow these two components to sync and flow seamlessly; rather than trying to fit things in haphazardly. Intentional living is integrated through journaling components in the Nutrition Blueprint that my clients will be crafting.

Talking about empowerment, there are many ways to empower oneself. There are also many ways people give up their power unknowingly. In the case of nutrition, some of us change and compromise our lifestyle to adhere to meal plans or diets. We are giving up our rights to live life the way we desire and often end up feeling miserable. Education is one way of empowering yourself to take your power back but there’s a catch.

Knowledge is important but the ability to apply this knowledge safely, effectively and consistently is critical. True empowerment through education is achieved when you combine knowledge with skillsets to implement them. Information alone seldom leads to results. You can buy as many meal plans, fitness plans or courses as you like. If you don’t work on them consistently or if you don’t apply them appropriately, nothing will work.

It’s not my practice to give my clients a meal plan or diet and ask them to “Follow this and don’t deviate.” I equip my clients with essential nutrition knowledge, so they know the reason why they are doing something. They will know the purpose of every step and action plan. It will never be a case of “doing it for the sake of doing” without understanding. I also develop their skillsets to implement nutrition principles so that nutrition flow into their life and is sustainable. These skillsets will also work for other aspects of their life, be it picking up a new hobby or a new habit. Combining knowledge, skills, and clarity, my clients will truly be empowered. They can confidently make adjustments and be flexible about how they integrate nutrition principles into their life.

What kind of a coach are you? I like that you say if someone is looking for a quick fix then you are not the right fit.

I’m a firm believer that it’s not what you do that matters, it’s whether you can do it consistently. No matter how small the action is, if you can do it consistently, you will see results. Most importantly, it will last. Never undermine the power of small, consistent actions. Quick fixes may give you great results, but if it’s not a lifestyle that you can keep up in the long run, the results won’t last. You will go back to where you began and start over again and again. It becomes a vicious cycle that repeats indefinitely. You will be deflated and feel like a total failure even when it’s not exactly your fault. It’s just a fact that quick fixes are not meant to yield long-term sustainable results.

I know life is busy and can be messy, which may be the reason why quick fixes seem so attractive. No matter which stage you are in your health journey, I will meet you where you are. Together we will work with your lifestyle, your schedule, your level of ability, your resources, your environment, your preferences, etc. It’s about integrating things in a harmonious manner rather than forcing nutrition into their life.

Walk me through your struggles with motherhood, what changed and how are you a different person?

I have had several health issues that I needed to deal with postpartum. Juggling motherhood and health issues were tough. I constantly felt guilty when I needed to take some time off for myself. I also felt like a failure when I couldn’t manage the daily responsibilities of taking care of a newborn, housework, etc. I crumbled under the stress. I knew I had to work through those struggles but there was no clear solution.

On a random day when I was observing my child fumbling with her toys and trying to figure out how the toy works, I had a sudden realization. I felt so much joy seeing her explore. Even when she made a mistake, I would still cheer her on. We are so forgiving towards babies who are learning and yet we are so harsh on ourselves when falling short on our own expectations and mistakes. That moment, I knew how I can work things out. That is to act from a place of love.

I stopped picking on my shortcomings. I reminded myself that I am still learning as a first-time mother and patient. I focused on my strengths and what I can do best for my child and my health. I cheered myself on, just like how I cheered my child on. With this approach, my blind spots slowly surfaced. It’s like I’m learning about myself all over again. I’ve re-learned so many values and mind-sets together with my child.

Since then, I see myself as a student of life, always learning and growing. Challenges are lessons that life uses to nurture and teach us. It’s ok to stumble and fall, just like a baby falls while learning to walk. It’s also important to have some form of a self-care routine to help you rest and rejuvenate. It’s only when you are in a great space mentally and physically will you be able to give your 100%. It’s true to say, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.”

We are living fast lives and never slowing down at the expense of our health and nutrition. Give me a more realistic way as to how we can approach this?

In this hectic world, we are constantly multitasking and even operating on auto-pilot mode. It’s no wonder so many of us are burned-out and stopped noticing the little things in life. It may even sound daunting to allocate time for health and nutrition.

Truth is, we don’t need big and extreme actions to improve our health and nutrition.

Remember we discussed small consistent actions earlier on? Here’s how you can approach it:

1. Decide on an area you would like to improve on or a goal you would like to achieve.
2. List down actions that you think will help you in reaching that goal.
3. Pick one action you are confident in implementing successfully.
4. Ask yourself if the action is small enough to be acted on consistently on a daily basis.
   1. If yes, decide how exactly you are going to do it and then do it!
   2. If no, think about how you can break that action down into smaller steps that can be acted on consistently every day.
5. Once you feel comfortable and are able to act on this action consistently, you can repeat the process to select another action.

The key is to make that step small, easy and quick to do. It may be as simple as drinking one extra glass of water every day or doing a 5 minutes’ stretch every morning. As long as you can do it consistently, you are doing great! You can download the cheat sheet here for quick reference.

If I hire you as a coach, can I go to Mcdonalds, have a coke, and eat ice cream?

Yes, you can! In fact, McDonald’s’ is my favorite fast-food chain. I love their Fillet-O-Fish burger, French fries, and Hot Fudge Sundae! Adhering to any particular diet or cutting out any food category is not necessary unless it is due to a medical condition or required by your medical doctor. There’s no “bad” or “good” food. It’s how we eat and how much we eat that matters. In excessive quantity, even beneficial nutrients like Vitamin A can become toxic.

Talk to me about the city you live in. I want to know the food scene and the amazing restaurants and why should we visit?

I’m from the sunny island of Singapore! It’s summer all year round over here. If you love the sun and beach, our island is the perfect travel destination.

Food Centres are where the locals usually go for our daily meals. There’s a wide range of tasty food selection, all at affordable prices. The best part is you can enjoy Michelin Starred food at the Food Centres without breaking the bank! Tian Tian Hainanese Chicken Rice is possibly the most famous chicken rice in Singapore. Its flagship stall is at Maxwell Food Centre. American celebrity chef Anthony Bourdain once commented that the rice from Tian Tian is exceptionally fragrant, flavorsome, and is delicious on its own. There was an exciting “Hawker Heroes Challenge” in 2013 which Gordon Ramsay took part in and lost out to Tian Tian. So be sure to try Tian Tian Hainanese Chicken Rice when you visit Singapore!

The post Practice Intentional Living appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

Ricardo Lopes is an award-winning author, speaker, trainer, and coach at Advanced Leadership. Advanced Leadership is a creative and enthusiastic group that’s passionate about empowering businesses, and the people in them, to meet with greater success. It lends expertise and support in communications, training, employee engagement, and performance. In essence, it helps organizations, and the people in them, better communicate, collaborate, and generate extraordinary results, both within the organization and with their customers.  Ricardo has held several communications, training and development, and national sales development roles generating perennial record sales performances over multiple decades. Ricardo has coaching, speaking, and training accreditation from The John C. Maxwell Team and licensed access to its training materials. John C. Maxwell is a many time over best-selling author and is recognized internationally as one of the world’s top leadership and management development experts. Ricardo talks about coaching and how it helps improve performance.

Ricardo please tell me a little about you?

I’m a coach, speaker, and trainer at Advanced Leadership. We’re a learning and performance company that empowers organizations and the people in them, to better communicate, collaborate, and generate extraordinary results – with their peers, customers, and the teams they’re privileged to lead.  I’ve worked for almost 30 years in the business and corporate worlds, contributing in several roles such as a national business development coach and communications specialist more recently, and as a sales manager, sales officer trainer, and communication consultant, etc. prior to that.

How do you help executives increase their unique value proposition?

I work with individuals to identify the strengths that make them unique and help them play to them.  No one does you as well as you do you.  When you contribute to areas of strength, results come more naturally to you and you can accomplish far more in that area than someone who’s struggling or not engaged in the task at hand. The trick is to challenge yourself continually, by applying those strengths to new challenges, to ensure you keep growing.  

How important is it for an executive to communicate effectively?

I can’t think of anything MORE important.  But let’s be clear about something, according to the Mehrabian’s 7-38-55 Rule of Personal Communication, words only make up 7% of any message. Voice tonality and body language contribute 38% and 55%, respectively, to the intended meaning of a message.  This is why you can watch two people relay the same request with great variation in how people respond.  There are a number of leadership skills that executives need to develop to better influence, inspire, and generate results.  These are the soft skills that are mandatory and are very accurate predictors of how far any leader will go. No one cares how smart you are, the question is, do you have the leadership skills to influence, inspire, and generate results with a group of uniquely skilled individuals around you?

Is it important to get a little deeper when networking or should we just get the business card?

Less is more.  Meet with fewer people, get to know them, and build trust.  We do business with and create business opportunities for, people we know, like, and trust.  You can have the greatest skills or widget to sell, but if you fail to develop that connection, your business card will meet with someone’s wastepaper basket.  I might be showing my age but I love business cards.  I think they say something about a person.  I like to write two or three things that make that person unique right on the card when I get home and save them. You can only discover that information after investing some time with them. I organize them by groups of people I affiliate with and like to flip through them before I attend an event.  Even with the best of intentions, it’s hard to remember every detail when you meet so many people.  It takes a little bit of effort to flip through these mini cue cards, but the reward is seeing the smile of appreciation on that person’s face when you’ve remembered them and made them feel special.

How important is it for an executive to have balance in their lives?

Very Important. Balance brings a diversity of experience and thought that makes you more valuable to the organization. Balance makes sure you have the energy to endure the crunch. Balance ensures you are clear about your ‘why’.  When you clearly identify what you value outside of work, and allow yourself to participate in those activities or the lives of others, they become inspirations.  They help you find the last bit of gas in the tank that you need, to do what you must, in order to provide the means to continue to enjoy those moments outside of work.

You were in financial services for more than two decades give me some personal advice on finance?

First save, save, save.  Deduct right off your paycheck and learn to live within what’s left.

Second, there’s a great little button on most income tax software, “How much can I borrow such that my tax refund will pay off the loan”.  Now take your refund and pay off the loan you just took to grow your savings.  Let’s say you borrowed five grand and deposited it to your RRSP savings, now you have five grand plus all the growth it’s going to generate between now and the day in retirement when you take it out. All this, for what it cost you in nominal interest charges incurred from the day you borrowed and the day your tax refund was applied against the loan.

How is your coaching unique and helps executives feeling more empowered?

I love that word! If I could describe what we do in three words, it would be “Authentically you, empowered”. I would say my approach to coaching draws a clear line between coaching and mentoring.  They are not one and the same.  It’s troubling to watch pairings of individuals where the expectation is that a poor millennial is supposed to somehow follow, and start emulating, a decorated baby boomer or GenX for example.  I’ve met with success in leadership positions driving sales etc., but it would be a less productive coaching session if I tried to grow a mini-me.  What worked for me played to my strengths and worked in a time and place.  Even if I executed exactly as I did some years ago, the dynamics and circumstances could have changed and hence the same approach, by the same person, executed the same way, isn’t guaranteed to work.  I encourage clients to identify their strengths and play to them, this generates small and large wins that build confidence and momentum.

One other unique aspect I would say is addressing belief paradigms and the battle between the conscious and unconscious mind.  The unconscious is supposed to protect us and keep us safe from the unknown or re-experiencing something that put us in harm’s way.  Sometimes, those belief paradigms serve us well, other times they’re holding us back, and we need someone outside our head to encourage us to push past them. Once we’ve pushed past them and succeed, our subconscious accepts a new normal and will no longer generate the very real physical manifestation of pain, anxiety, etc. in its attempts to discourage us from going for it!

What other value do you bring to help authentically empower others?

I like to describe our company as a passionate and enthusiastic bunch who enjoy empowering organizations and the people in them, to meet with greater success.  How we help, is by lending support and expertise in four key areas; communications, training, employee engagement, and performance.  What we do essentially is to help organizations and the people in them better communicate, collaborate, and generate extraordinary results, both within the organization and with their customers.  As an example, to kick off the new year in 2019, we’re doing training for entrepreneurs and small business that is open to the general public.  We’re helping them craft messages to effectively promote their business in public and close the sale while building their confidence. Many wonderful people are great artisans, service people, or craftspeople, but they are not salespeople and may never be. When you get big enough, you can pass on promoting your business in public and closing the sale of your widget or book to someone else. Until then, you need to get it done yourself, or risk being one of 50% of businesses who fail within the first five years. Often, the failure has nothing to do with the service or product they provide, the challenge is their inability to sell it.  It’s also heart-wrenching to meet a perennial networker whose own inner circle is hard-pressed to describe what that person does!  Even with the best intentions, their inner circle doesn’t know how to promote their fellow networker because they don’t have clear messaging regarding just what they do or sell.  Our event will empower these folks to conquer their fear of public speaking, promote their business and close the sale. Together we’ll craft engaging value propositions, elevator speeches, and on stage / public presentations in a 3-day over 4-weeks experiential learning workshop.

How do you balance food, faith, finance, and family in the 21st century?

Balance to me means you acknowledge the importance of different aspects of a full, and well-functioning life.  That involves setting goals and executing them in each area.  Food is your body’s enricher.  Garbage in, garbage out. Plan and do the work to eat well.  Faith, if you’re blessed with it, will help you better appreciate you’re a spiritual being having a human experience, not the other way around.  That said, take care of your body such that you have a place to carry your inner being, while having the strength and wellness to do, and experience, all that you can on this journey.  Finance is an enabler; it’s not the most important thing in one’s life, but it’s right up there next to oxygen! Family love you, often unconditionally.  It’s hard to find a stronger set of raving fans.  Schedule time together, even if it’s the most mundane “I drive you to x event”, and “mom drives you to y event”.  Put down the smartphone and talk to each other, be present.  Schedule couple time/family time with as much commitment as you would the most important thing you have to do because it is.

The post How Coaching Improves Performance appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

Amina Mohamed is a game-changer. Four Columns is always on the lookout for game-changers who are empowering women. Amina Mohamed is the embodiment of a game-changer. She is passionate about making a difference in the lives of young girls in Uganda. She has taken the tenets of her faith and put them to practical use. She walks the walk. Amina shares a lot of wisdom in this interview. She is real and vulnerable about her own life. I admire her willingness and persistence to make a difference in this world through her charity and volunteer work at Triple F Photo Tours.

A game-changer is a newly introduced element or factor that changes an existing situation in a significant way. It is the Eureka moment when you see something others do not. We experience something significant and rousing, and we want to do something. It is metamorphic alchemy that makes a difference in the lives of people.

A game-changer is relentless, committed, and persistent in a cause. They are original, who see the status quo and bring an out-of-the-box mindset. They break free from traditional thinking, test the patterns of thinking like lemmings, and promote diversity of thought.

A game-changer is introspective, self-aware, and cognizant of the needs and emotions around them. The game-changer knows that what they are doing is bigger than themselves. They get intrinsic satisfaction from making a difference in the lives of other people.

Hi Amina, I love that your name means peace. Tell me something important about you.

I am passionate about helping others.  When I am not working on my work in Uganda, I volunteer in my community with Rotary International or I do community work by supporting the homeless. I strongly believe that if we all do our part to help others, we can all make this a more beautiful world.

Talk to me about your catchy slogan ‘where fun, f(ph)otography & f(ph)ilanthrophy meet?

I wanted a slogan that fit both Triple F Photo Tours (taking enthusiast and amateur photographers on a tour of Uganda and helping them improve their photography while on an excursion, hence the Fun and the F(ph)otography) and the work I do with Cameras For Girls (our F(ph)ilanthropic outreach).

Walk me through your journey and how you came to reconcile your identity?

Reconciling that identity has always been a struggle.  I was born in Merton, UK, moved to Uganda when I was nine months old, and lived in Uganda until I was three when we were forced to leave our home country by Idi Amin.  I grew up with a mixture of Indian and African roots and the feeling that I did not fit in anywhere.  Canada has been home for the last almost 50 years (next November will the 50-year anniversary when we came to Canada) and I am still torn between my Canadian identity and my African roots.  To further explore this, my husband is Danish and my Canadian-born adopted daughter is half-Polish and half-Sudanese.  We refer to ourselves as the United Nations.

I admire that you want to make a difference in the lives of girls and leave a legacy. Help me understand how you came to that point in your life?

I had an amazing career working in film and television and after 15 amazing years working on many films, tv series, documentaries, and short films, I left to do something else.  We were newly married (I married late) and considering adopting and working in this industry is not conducive to a happy marriage, thus I quit.  From there I went on to work in the real estate industry, first as a home stager and then later as an award-winning mortgage broker.  However, the call of the camera and creativity started calling my name and in August 2017, frustrated with my career I came up with the idea to make a difference for young girls and women in Uganda.

On my first trip home to Uganda in 2007, I was there to self-direct and produce a documentary about the return of the Asians that started coming back as then and current President Museveni realized that if Uganda was going to make any type of economic recovery, he would have to welcome home the Indians.  When I got there, the sheer poverty hit me hard and the realization that many girls and women in developing countries are not given the same rights and freedoms I had been given, growing up in Canada.  I wanted to make a difference but at that time I did not know-how.  Fast forward to August 2017 and I came up with this idea and a year later after making a business plan, I was in Uganda conducting my first photography training with 15 young girls and women between the ages of 18-29.  These girls come with a background in journalism.  Unlike North America or Europe, a job in journalism in Uganda does not guarantee a payment or a full-time job, unless you own a camera and know how to use it.  By marrying our program with girls and women who are either in their last year of a University Journalism program, or girls who have graduated and looking for work, or girls who have been hired but not getting paid, simply because they lack the skills, we are able to help them get full-time jobs in a very male-dominated society.  To date, I have taught 32 girls and 11 now have full-time jobs.

What does it mean to be raised with a deep sense of community, culture, and humanity?

It’s important to me because living in Canada in a cultural melting pot and having my own melting pot of a background, I am able to see others and respect others for their traditions, way of dress, language, and practices.  I believe that at the end of the day, regardless of our cultural backgrounds we are all the same and that if we were to all think that way, humanity would be much happier and more peaceful.

The Ismaili diaspora is very successful. There are solidarity and brotherhood among them. In your opinion what leads to that success?

My own grandfather emigrated to Uganda from India when he was 14 years old, as he saw opportunities that were not available to him in India.  Many Indians were brought to Uganda to build the railroad and after completing this, they stayed and raised their families.  My grandfather worked hard and earned enough to bring his mother, his brothers, and their families to Uganda.  Both my paternal and maternal grandfathers were very wealthy and successful in Uganda.  My parents were first-generation born and my sister was 2^nd generation. I myself was born in the UK.  Knowing how hard it was for our grandfathers, who led and paved the way, made Ismaili’s in particular recognize the sacrifices that were made to make a better life in Uganda, and thus hard-work came with that.

Interesting fact – Prime Minister Pierre Elliott Trudeau and The Aga Khan were very good friends and thus when we were exiled from Uganda, it was due to this friendship that there exists many Ismaili’s in Canada.  Other countries that took us in were Austria, Germany, and Uganda.

Define women empowerment and your role in empowering young girls?

We give the girls a camera to keep, teach her how to use it to tell stories that matter to them.  We also assist them to apply for jobs by helping them with resumes, cover letters, and LinkedIn profiles.  By providing the tools, we empower our girls to compete for jobs, otherwise not afforded to them, simply due to gender or inequality that exists in many developing countries.  Our girls go out in the world equipped with the tools to succeed.  The camera stands as the same as teaching a person to fish.

The word is mightier than the sword. One photograph can change the world. Please comment?

100% agree.  Think about the photo that Steve Curry took of the Afghan girl or Nilüfer Demir’s photo of Alan Kurdi, the drowned Syrian boy.  Images can sear your memory and make concrete changes in the world.  Images can convey a thousand words as they say due to the power they have to make concrete and long-lasting changes.

Help me understand your faith, culture, food, and special festivals?

I grew up in a strict Muslim household and would attend prayers every Friday as well as all religious festivities, however, as I got older I became more independent and no longer follow my faith.  I am still Ismaili by birth but not in practice.  I do however enjoy celebrating Eid and cultural festivals through my husband’s background and those of my friends, who come from different faiths.  I believe again that we are all one and in some respects, religion can divide instead of bringing us together.

The post Amina Mohamed: Making a Difference appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

What is the meaning of life?

I have known Mayple Dorrington since I started my career at Scotia Bank. Mayple was Director, Communications and Change Management at Scotia Bank.  Mayple recently wrote a book called Finding: The Oasis in my Soul. It is a journal, an encouraging journey through the spectrum of real-life experiences of trials and triumphs. As you read her book, you can relate to it. You will see a reflection of your own experiences. The book asks some relevant questions about having an empty void within us, do we have doubts about our gifts, weaknesses,  our purpose, and our identity?

I am a big fan of gratitude, and this book challenges my thinking to transform my mind and to get a deeper conviction of love and purpose in my life. If you are struggling with insecurity, fear, uncertainty, or anxiety, get the book, become empowered, lead an authentic life, and transform yourself into what you are intended to be.  This is the first of a two-part interview.

Mayple, a true honor to have you talk to four columns. Tell my audience a little bit about you?

Jerry, firstly I want to thank you for the opportunity to participate in your blog. I’m deeply honored to be having this dialogue with you and your audience.

Born on the beautiful island of Jamaica I grew up in a happy, loving family cushioned in a viable business environment.   The business became a casualty following the aftermath of the 1970s economic downturn in my country and the outcome later triggered my family’s immigration to another beautiful country, Canada. With a business mindset, I later pursued that area of study and embarked on an amazing career in the financial industry that spanned 3 continents with direct access to over 27 countries.  Alongside my banking occupation of choice, I am an author and a motivational speaker.  My professional designations include an economist, chartered banker, high school teacher and a personal financial planner.

I am a devout Christian who anchored my beliefs, decisions, and hope in the power of the risen Jesus Christ.  With my teaching discipline, I constantly volunteer my skills for mentoring and coaching and by my mentees’ own admission, I have the knack to identify, develop and empower countless persons in reaching their personal goals.

Having said that, my passion is primarily centered around the relationships I forged working with people drawn from across the globe and living in the most multicultural city in the world. Through these experiences, I learned how to coexist with people, understand their behaviors, outlook, and preferences, and dispense greater tolerance, acceptance, and compassion in helping others. An area that keeps me growing is to intentionally embrace the power of mindfulness. This awareness constantly provokes and inspires me to challenge my mind, peel away layers of obscurity, to look deeper and wider for insights toward the path in finding truths.

Finding: The oasis in my soul. It is an intense name for a book. How did the book come about? What is the main message? Who is the audience? What is unique and different about the message?  

Jerry, there’s lots to unpack here… yes,  the name is indeed intense. You may notice I deliberately said “Finding” and not “Find” or “Found” because it’s a journey, not a destination. My book chronicles an inspiring journey through the lens of my real-life experiences of trials and triumphs and using what I have been through to come to a place of what I now know for sure.

Strangely the genesis of my book was drawn from my wanderlust nature.  Traveling to many countries, living amongst diverse nationalities, and conversing with numerous people from different walks of life, age, and outlook; hearing their stories, the many dreams realized, the hardships overcame, and bouncing back from mistakes, I realized how much we all have in common.

I wrote the book to expose our human commonality and to express how I cultivate the power to confront and stare down the debilitating state of uncertainty, worry, and fear.  How like myself, we can overcome our shortcomings and elevate our talents and self-worth to be the best.

During my speaking engagements, after sharing my story, which is often intertwined with slices from the lives of many others, seeing the visceral reaction of agreement from my diverse audience, I validated how we all want to feel valued, loved, and accepted. The main point is to have a positive self-image of not who I am, but who God intended me to be.  How I claim truth and confidence from the backdrop of biblical examples of trust, faith, and obedience.  Each chapter illustrates a meaningful life experience, which is brutally frank about what I learned, the impact of the practical application, and my spiritual transformation. Each reader will walk away with valuable nuggets to build their confidence and self-worth.

My core objective and the key message are to challenge the readers’ thinking and arouse a sense of gratitude, wonder, and introspection, allowing us to draw from an ever-renewing Oasis where we can replace worry, fear, and doubt with the joyful assurance of God’s promises and faithfulness.

The feedback has been overwhelmingly positive that this is exactly the response it evokes. I painted a graphic picture of my experiences, whether illness, a hero to zero career moves, friendship betrayal, family choices, to be transformed, to come to a place of rest, not a place of stop, but resting on the dependence and assurance of God’s love while seeking new adventures to spread my wings.  The overarching message may not be unique or different, but it’s worth reinforcing to keep us building self-awareness on how we can draw inspiration and hope from seemingly common encounters and events in our lives. It about seeing and acknowledging God’s love and handiwork in all aspects of our lives.

Explain to me what does women’s empowerment means to you?    

Empowerment is about acting on my own volition, having options, having the autonomy to make choices.  Really, Jerry, it’s to emancipate me from the sense of powerlessness, to become self-determined, being able to take charge of my life by owning my decisions, circumstances, hopes, and dreams, growing stronger, wiser, and more confident.

Having said that, for me, I do not believe women’s empowerment is independent of the influence of men. I strongly believe men and women were created with different, but complementary traits. When working in unity, we unleash the freedom to both look outward, naturally curious in opening ourselves to the universe, feeling supported to take risks, and to reimagine possibilities based on the imagery of how to think, rather than the limitation of what to think.

I have countless examples of gender neutrality during brainstorming, problem-solving, and trouble-shooting that delivered the optimum results, mainly because women are allowed the latitude, civility, and respect to explore and articulate their thoughts without judgment or fear. This type of liberation allows me to embrace and benefit from a diversity of thoughts; to see ideas from various points of view, despite differences reaching common ground, by filtering everything through what is pleasing to God. Why, because like all good things, true and authentic empowerment comes from honoring the will of God.

I am a big fan of being authentic and leading a transparent life. Help me understand what you mean by living an authentic life?    

Yes, Jerry, authentic and transparent are two buzz words presently tossed around a lot! Irrespective of the scholarly definition, at the core, this is about living one’s truth, what we know for sure, which can be shaped by our many experiences.

For me, it is when my values and beliefs are compatible with the integrity of my doctrine, actions, and words. It’s about self-awareness, knowing myself at a deep level, accepting my multi-faceted traits, my strengths, and imperfections; having the desire to continuously grow as I reconcile my good, bad and ugly qualities, which are common to all of us. I find that oftentimes, with increasing societal pressure, we lean into what the world prescribed as a success.  Whether to gain wealth, fame, alter our appearance or job aspiration, we can compromise who we are created to be which often leads to self-loathing, and unhappiness.

To justify my point, let’s take a look at the billions in revenue generated from cosmetic industries, fake content, scamming, Ponzi schemes, and the like. You see, in our humanness, our hearts are deceitful, full of pride, and can easily trap us in a state of denial and falseness to elevate ourselves. I am not immune to this pretense, but growing in spiritual maturity and wisdom, I try to be deliberate in not allowing this malignant state to frighten or paralyze me, but to be powered by my dependence on the spirit God graciously places within us.  As I summon the courage to live from a place of acceptance, growth, humility, and inner peace, only then, I can be the best expression of myself, which will be evident to impact others as I attract, influence, and sustain meaningful relationships.

The post Mayple Dorrington: Finding the Meaning of Life appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

No matter how you define success, your mindset is an important factor in achieving it.  Your mindset will determine whether you are successful or not.

A robust and positive mindset is fundamental to establishing flourishing self-esteem. It is a framework that influences our beliefs, feelings, and attitudes. We need to become the sentinel of our minds and make sure we stay positive, inspired, and empowered.

Always remain optimistic no matter what. If you have a positive attitude, you can process information through a clearer lens, have a winning attitude, and achieve success in the long run.

A robust mindset gives you the drive to confront the status quo and go beyond the comfort zone. It allows you not to become a victim, not complain but thrive and improve.

I admire people who overcome adversity, develop a thick skin, and deal with issues head-on. Adversities in our lives challenge us and make us stronger. It is resilience that makes us go through the dark tunnels.

Niloo represents someone who does not takes no for an answer. She deals with challenges in life and comes up with ways on how to overcome them. I am inspired by her attitude to life. Niloo gives us some insight into her approach.

Niloo, I want to know what Getfitscience all about?

Getfitscience is a blog on promoting a science-based approach to fitness and nutrition. I embarked on my health journey a few years back after being diagnosed with scoliosis. It is a condition due to a sideways curvature of the spine.

I resolved to find the best way to train and improve my body to live a life without lower back pain. I started consuming as much information on training, nutrition, and mindset that I possibly could. While I managed to find a wealth of knowledge, I noticed that I had to sift through a sea of opinions and half-truths on these topics.

While it was frustrating that so many “bro-science” sources were purporting the benefits of the latest diet fad or way of training to make a buck, I saw a need to focus on science. I wanted to use my Bachelor of Science degree in biochemistry to share an evidence-based approach and encourage others to think critically.

I spend hours reading peer-reviewed research and translate it into an easily digestible format to give readers access to the latest studies and how they can help you optimize their training and nutrition. Since food is a critical component of living a healthy lifestyle, I decided it was necessary to dedicate a section of the blog to nutritious recipes.

What is scoliosis? How did you find the resolve to find the best way to train and live without pain?

Scoliosis is a sideways curvature of the spine. Many times, doctors are unable to determine the root cause of the condition. There are varying degrees of severity, and the disorder can worsen in some cases. In my case, I used to feel chronic back pain and had mobility issues and severe muscular imbalances. I found that strength training with an emphasis on training the back muscles and core helped diminish the imbalances I was feeling and overall pain. I also incorporated a combination of yoga and pilates to help with mobility and strengthening of weak stabilizer muscles.

I want to understand the process of rejecting a victim mindset based on your circumstances?

Often, our mindset concerning training and nutrition is ignored. The average person looks at steps they need to take to see a physical change, like altering food choices and exercise. But your thoughts are paramount in determining what you will achieve in life. Without the right mindset, none of those action steps will stick.

I knew that I’d never be able to cure my condition without potentially undergoing surgery; this was not an option I wanted to consider. Instead, I reframed the situation and changed my perspective. I focused on how I wanted to feel and live the rest of my life, which was ultimately my “why,” rather than feeling down or ashamed that my scoliosis could show in my physique. Once I found my “why,” I no longer wallowed in this diagnosis and knew that if I do my part, I’ll potentially live a healthy life pain-free through training and eating well.

How are training and nutrition different from a decade and two decades ago?

I think we have more knowledge due to increased studies on methods of training and nutrition. This information has resulted in us placing more emphasis and value on the importance of exercise and eating well. Historically, strength training, for instance, was limited to a particular group of individuals, i.e. bodybuilders like Arnold Schwarzenegger. Nowadays, I see 60-year-old women at the gym, picking up dumbells and training. It’s a positive step in the right direction.

On our health journey, what are the potential and possibilities?

I think many times we place limitations, whether conscious or sub-conscious, on ourselves through what is possible. These limitations often stem from our beliefs.

Most people don’t push themselves past their comfort zones enough and create excuses on why they are where they are. That’s why mindset and determining your reason for your health goals is so important. If you can solidify those reasons and make them your foundation for the decisions you make in your health journey, the possibilities are vast.

Help me understand some myths about fasting?

Fasting is one of the most misunderstood topics in today’s “diet culture” society. There are beneficial aspects to fasting for treating various ailments, and I know it has its purpose in varying religions and spiritual circles. But what bugs me is when people think fasting is a magical formula to losing weight. Instead, what happens is that many will make poor eating choices because they feel deprived in their fasting window and miss out on essential nutrients when they are eating. Another common myth is what they consume during the fasting window that breaks their fast unbeknownst to them.

Are diets fads, or are they here to stay?

I don’t think that diets will ever disappear. Most people will admit that they want to look their best and, unfortunately, many are looking for the next best diet or fad that will help them reach their goals as quickly as possible. It’s often due to a lack of knowledge because perhaps they’ve neglected their body for so long that they are not sure the best course of action to take, and they’ll resort to quick-fix diets. I always say that the best type of “diet” is one that makes you feel your best from the inside out and one that you can stick to.

Should all our meals be about protein?

Protein is an essential nutrient for optimal health. Proteins are building blocks of muscles, tendons, ligaments, hair, hormones, antibodies, organs, and neurotransmitters in your body. The role of protein is even more critical as we age.

It can help regulate hunger levels and reduce insulin spikes that can lead to insulin-sensitivity or being overweight or obese from a satiety standpoint. I think it’s good practice to incorporate an adequate amount of protein in each meal alongside a healthy fat and carb source. It’s all about balance.

What does women empowerment mean to you?

We need to continue working in our society to equalize men and women. Women have been under-valued throughout history and given less or no chance, in some cases, to make valuable contributions in their respective fields. I don’t think that it’s something that needs to happen where only women support other women. Instead, both men and women need to provide support so that women have a seat at the table and make important decisions alongside men.

How do you define beauty?

Beauty, for me, comes from a place of confidence. From an aesthetic standpoint, it’s highly subjective, but it always attracts my attention when a person owns whatever they’re putting out into the world. We are constantly bombarded with marketing and narratives in social media, influencing what we should perceive as beautiful. I’m always drawn to those that transmit positive energy that breaks the mold.

The post Niloo: A Winners Mindset appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

Resilience is how well people deal with and bounce back from the challenges of life. Resilience is the process of adjusting positively as you face challenges, tragedy, adversity, threats, and major sources of stress like job loss, divorce, financial issues, health problems, workplace discrimination, or the current COVID crisis. Resilience is not only about bouncing back, but also about learning and growing from the experience. The challenges are difficult and painful, but one needs to be aware of what they can control. Resilience helps you walk through the challenging times in your life and empowers you.

Resilience does not mean you will not face challenges in your life. The truth is that some of the most resilient people have faced and gone through the most challenging things a person can face. Resilience can be learned and involves developing actions, behaviors, and thoughts that help you bounce back from traumatic events in your life.

The Three  Aspects of Resilience

Susan Kobasa, a leading psychologist, talks about the three aspects of resilience. The first is the challenge. When you are facing difficulties in your life, you have to see it as a challenge and not as an event that will paralyze you. The difficulty has to be viewed as an opportunity to learn and grow, and not negatively. The second is that you have to be committed to your goals, values, ethos, friendships, relationships, and beliefs, and find a reason to get up in the morning. The third part is to focus on what you can control. When you focus on what you can control and let go, you feel confident and empowered. If you focus on what you cannot control, it will make you feel powerless.

Where is My GPS?

Life on planet Earth does not come with a GPS. However, the challenges and the traumatic events of life on Earth can impact us negatively. These events bring up a variety of feelings, emotions, thoughts, and uncertainty. Debbie has been battling cancer for six months. Last week I got a text that someone I have known my whole life committed suicide. I have been asked a lot about how I manage to stay resilient. Here are my eleven secrets to staying resilient. I have included quotes from strong women who have been resilient in their lives.

Find a purpose and a deeper meaning

Grief and resilience live together – Michelle Obama, Becoming

One of my best friends committed suicide two years after high school. In the last few years, I have lost one of my closest friends from university and another from the business world. Last week, someone from my youth group committed suicide. As we come across a tragedy or a crisis in our personal lives we have to find a sense of purpose. I started a blog, got more involved in volunteering, more introspective, and started aligning all my activities with my goals and values.

As Debbie fights cancer, I am learning to become more compassionate, understanding, kind, and gentle.

Be Positive about your capabilities

I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it – Maya Angelo

When Debbie was diagnosed with cancer, my daughter was handling it the best. She was just confident. I learned from her that we have to be confident about our capabilities on how to handle this event in our family. I had to focus on what we call a SWOT analysis in the business world. However, I had to focus on my strengths and keep the positive tape in my brain going.

Friendships are important

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance, never settle for the path of least resistance – Lee Ann Womack, I Hope You Dance

I would not have made it through the present crisis without close friends. I continue to stay connected with friends and cousins to share my feelings about what I am going through. This support does wonders for our emotional, physical, spiritual, mental, and psychological health.

It is important to also connect with people who are understanding, gentle, compassionate, empathetic, and who validate what you are going through. I have spoken to many people whose spouses have gone through cancer. It helps what you are feeling is natural. Sometimes there is a natural tendency to isolate ourselves. It is important to connect with people.

The only constant in life is change

Resilience isn’t a single skill. It’s a variety of skills and coping mechanisms. To bounce back from bumps in the road as well as failures, you should focus on emphasizing the positive – Jean Chatzky

When I was doing my MBA and as we studied about companies that survived and those that perished the only difference was the survivors adapted to change. We have to constantly adapt to our surroundings. Stick to your values and core concepts but we have to adapt. Those that are flexible and embrace the changes thrive in the long run. I had to adapt my lifestyle and my attitude about being a spouse of a cancer patient.

Be Confident 

Like tiny seeds with potent power to push through tough ground and become mighty trees, we hold innate reserves of unimaginable strength. We are resilient – Catherine DeVrye, The Gift of Nature

When we are going through challenging times, it is tough to be confident in the tunnel. However, you have to cling to hope and focus on staying positive. Positive thinking does not mean you ignore the problem or the challenges you are facing. It means that the stumbling blocks are temporary and we need to focus on our capabilities to handle the challenge. I am confident that after chemo and radiation Debbie will make it through the end of November.

Self-care

Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying ‘I will try again tomorrow – Mary Anne Radmacher

Taking care of yourself is the most important thing you can do for yourself. You need to eat healthy food, get sleep, rest, build new skills, and even seek counseling.

Focus on solutions, not problems

The world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it – Helen Keller

No matter what we are going through, focus on solutions. Do not ask why me but what now. There are times when there is no solution. However, you have to try to take baby steps to make your situation less stressful.

Join a group

She stood in the storm and when the wind did not blow her way, she adjusted her sails – Elizabeth Edwards

I have spoken to many men whose spouses have gone through cancer. When you talk to other people who have gone through similar circumstances it helps you. Join a group of people who are going through similar issues. Talk about it and get together. It will do miracles for you. It is good to talk and get things out. If you keep it inside, you end with a lot of psycho-somatic issues. 

Practice mindfulness

Rock bottom became the solid foundation in which I rebuilt my life – J.K. Rowling

Mindfulness is the basic human ability to be fully present, aware of where we are and what we’re doing, and not overly reactive or overwhelmed by what’s going on around us. I personally find breathing very helpful.

Focus on one goal

The human capacity for burden is like bamboo- far more flexible than you’d ever believe at first glance – Jodi Picoult, My Sister’s Keeper

As Debbie goes through cancer, we just take it one day at a time. There is a tendency to focus on the end and how it will all look once chemo and radiation are done.

Ask for help

Resilience is accepting your new reality, even if it’s less good than the one you had before. You can fight it, you can do nothing but scream about what you’ve lost, or you can accept that and try to put together something that’s good – Elizabeth Edwards

I am bad at asking for help. My wife is even worse. However, I was challenged to ask for help. As I asked for help, I have a meal train for us and people driving Debbie for her chemo and other appointments.

The key takeaway from this post is that whenever you are going through a challenging time, in order to be resilient:

Do not listen to the news, it is all negative, look to other sources for empowerment and inspiration

It is ok to cry and express what you are going through

Go for a walk and connect with nature

Focus on your strengths and be confident

Have a real, deep and vulnerable conversation with a close friend or family member

Talk to someone who has gone through or going through similar challenges like you

Pray, meditate and connect with a higher power

Write what you are going through and feeling

Practice kindness towards others and to yourself

Music inspires and empowers you, listen to it

Breathe deeply

Take it one day and one hour at a time. Focus on the present.

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