The pandemic leaves me with three choices. Grow from it, learn from it, or fear it.

How was your week?

This week, someone whom I have known since a teenager lost his wife to cancer in Toronto. What do you say? How do you say it? I called him, and we had a good 30-minute chat about how life has taken us from teenagers to now.

Another friend who was junior to me at university is now going through cancer. I had to make that call. Seeing my own wife battling cancer, I knew what he was going through.

A classmate from university, we were chatting, and he is going through a bitter divorce. I was grateful that a dear friend reached out to me and encouraged me for nearly two hours. I needed that after those three difficult conversations.

I still have a couple of voicemails to return. People are asking for emotional, mental, financial, and business help. So many WhatsApp group messages to read, emails, and then social media.

Not another lockdown during the pandemic 

I was looking forward to Easter. I had bought a new BBQ and was going to grill fish, chicken, and enjoy Easter with my parents, whom I have only seen twice in more than 12 months.

Another 30-day lockdown was announced. OUCH.

A friend posted on social media ‘Are you fearing, learning or growing from the pandemic?’. It hit me.

The growth phase

Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny – C.S. Lewis

All the adversity I’ve had in my life, all my trouble and obstacles, have strengthened me – Walt Disney

I am finding the growth phase difficult.

A vaccine aids the body in fighting germs that could harm us. Adversity and challenges inoculate us from dealing with stress.

I have written about the challenge that a butterfly has to go through to become so beautiful. How about an oyster who because of one piece of sand makes a gorgeous pearl? One piece of sand inside the oyster makes it uncomfortable and it reacts by creating something beautiful.

Adversity is the fuel for greatness. I personally hate pain. However, it is pain that is shaping me into who I am. It is giving me the confidence that I will overcome this pandemic. It is building my character. In my weakness, I am a broken, recovering perfectionist, control freak, emotional, and private school brat. I am learning to deal with adversity and it is creating resilience. I am learning from being uncomfortable. Adversity is drawing out my compassion and my writing skills. I am learning to accept the pandemic.

Yes, I have a purpose but executing it needs so much more time and resources.

Go ahead and find a purpose. This is the defining moment for our generation.

Find a way to help others. So many people who we did not know helped us through Debbie’s cancer. I am doing the same. Sometimes just a call or listening to someone. My biggest weakness is listening. But I need to do it.

Practice peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, and compassion with others. We all need it at this moment.

Focus on faith, hope, and gratitude.

We all have to adapt. We are all in this boat together. Storms come; the waves become 20 feet. We have to change our sails. I admire Henry Ford who said that ‘When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.’

The learning phase

There is also the learning phase.

Adversity can be personal, discriminatory, failures or setbacks in a career.

I am learning to become more compassionate, self-aware, with limits of control, and flexibility. I find myself drinking more coke and eating more desserts.

I have to let go of things I cannot control. The government, the media, the vaccination, and everything else I cannot control. I am focusing on stuff I can control.

I am aware of everything going around me and am trying to control my emotions. There is so much pain, suffering, and loss out there.

It is important to accept that every human being is doing their best. There are no conspiracy theories. The Americans did land on the moon.

I am not letting the pandemic be everything. I am connecting with many friends. I am not ashamed of being an extrovert and that the pandemic is making me struggle.

The pandemic creates fear

It is easy to embrace the fear stage. It has been more than a year. It is easy to go to the supermarket and hoard stuff we do not need. It is easy to complain (I am guilty of this), get into arguments on social media about the actions or inactions of the government.

We all have a choice

History will judge us by our actions.

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