The journey of Amanda Buchanan is anything but ordinary. The oldest of 7 siblings, she just thought it was “normal” to take responsibility and take charge. It wasn’t until later in life that she realized her “bossiness” was actually a manifestation of her leadership & executive management skills, which had been evident at a young age. It was only in her late twenties that someone used the word “leader” in relation to her influence and skills, and since that time, she has not only leaned into her own leadership but also championed other women to do so as well. Her work experience and personal story became the catalyst for a decade-long partnership with coaching. This journey not only reshaped her career but also strengthened her identity, values, and voice as a woman navigating male-dominated spaces.

At Four Columns of a Balanced Life, we believe every woman carries a story worth learning from. One that can spark transformation, courage, and clarity for others. Today, we dive into the heart of Amanda’s journey as a life coach and leader.

In this conversation, I wanted to know something unique about her—what shaped her, what ignited her passion, and what continues to fuel her mission to guide women and leaders toward authenticity, awareness, and wholeness. Amanda brings a blend of spiritual wisdom, clinical insight, and real-world leadership experience that makes her coaching style deeply human and refreshingly practical.

Her story is a reminder that empowerment doesn’t begin when we “have it all together,” but when we’re willing to grow, ask better questions, and lead from who we truly are.

What inspired you to become a life coach, and was there a defining moment that led you down this path?

In my late 20s, I found myself in a leadership position where I was way over my head. Not only did I need to learn new skills, but I was working way too much. I was so desperate for help that when someone offered to connect me with a coach, I said yes, not even fully understanding what coaching was. I just knew counselling wasn’t what I needed. I have had a coach for the last decade and never looked back! The journey was transformative, not only for my leadership and my life, but for my career trajectory.

Amanda can you be more specific about the changes you saw back then?

There was a huge learning curve in self-awareness [think Myers-Briggs, personal values, strengths, spiritual gifts, motivations; to name a few] and how this impacted my leadership. I learned to adapt and consider what other people needed and expected from me, and lean into how I was wired to lead from a place that was authentic to me. I started to understand that work could not consume me, but I was actually a better leader when I was living a life that was fuller, by developing creative outlets, physical care and a supportive social system. I fully believe that the best gift a leader can give their organization is holistic health. I could keep going, but I’ll stop there. 

What is the difference between coaching, counselling and consulting? 

At a basic level: counselling looks at the past and coaching looks ahead to the future. Counselling might ask: where did you come from? And what happened to you to shape who you are today? Coaching will ask: where do you want to be in a year, or three years and how do you get there? Or who do you want to be in a particular situation? Both counselling and consulting place the expectation of expertise on the consultant or counsellor. Good coaching makes the one being coached the expert, and with wise questions and observations helps the coachee discover things about themselves.

How has your own personal growth journey shaped the way you coach others?

I am a female who worked in a male-dominated field and I had to push through a lot of obstacles and stereotypes about what was “appropriate” for a woman to do, as well as what was considered “feminine” or not. For example: the fact that many times for women confidence and assertiveness often times is mistaken for aggression or even said to be “masculine.” Or the shame many women feel when their emotions emerge in a work-place setting, when in reality their emotions can be a gift to their colleagues if they have done the work of self-awareness and staying healthy. I am particularly passionate about helping people learn to bring their full-selves to the teams they are on and to lead from their strengths.

How would you describe your coaching style, and what makes it unique?

I’ve been told that people experience me as if we are having a very natural conversation with a lot of good questions to draw out some reflection and discovery. When appropriate I will ask if I can share my own experience with something that may help the client or offer a different perspective on a situation. I believe that every human being is put on this earth with something unique to offer the world and coaching is the process to bring clarity and focus to that discovery. Because of this, I also consider spiritual wellness an important aspect of health and wellness. My training in psychotherapy also helps to inform how things from our past influence our perspective. 

There are many life coaches out there, but I get such energy from working with leaders (which can be formal or informal leadership, influence and management…and yes…mom’s out there are leading their kids every day, so that counts too!) and helping them to discover their unique leadership style and develop needed skills. This tends to also spill out into other areas of their life, as who a leader is affects how their organizations grow and develops. 

What is the most common obstacle your clients face, and how do you help them overcome it?

I’m going to address this from two perspectives: internal factors and external factors. 

Internal factors are often times around limiting beliefs or internal narratives: confidence/imposter syndrome and the stories we tell ourselves that make us feel inadequate or unqualified. For women particularly there are often times narratives they have absorbed subconsciously that manifest due to their work challenges. Through coaching we identify these and work to process and replace them with empowering narratives that are authentic to who they feel that they are. 

External factors can include transitions in work or life, such as a promotion or a job that has grown to include more than a person feels qualified for. In these situations, we create a growth plan and identify areas and resources for development and implementation.

Can you share a success story where your coaching made a significant impact on someone’s life?

A success story for me is watching a client have an “ah-ha” moment in a session or pieces or themselves “click into place” and they leave a session with new insights and actions to work through.

A client success story? One client came to me with a lot of confusion about her role in the organization and a lack of clarity about how to prioritize her time. After six months of monthly one-on-one coaching, we celebrated together how much more confident she felt in her role and in her leadership. She reflected that she had a renewed sense of excitement for the changes ahead in her organization and how she would navigate those with her team and influence her peers and boss. She was grateful for the clarity she had about her role and also about what wasn’t her role [which is just as important] and how to have conversations that would shape the culture and changes going forward.  

What advice would you give to someone who is feeling stuck or unfulfilled in their life or leadership?

It happens to most of us: at some point we will likely hit a wall of some kind where what we know or how we did things, is no longer working for us. This is the season that reaching out for help is one of the best things you can do for yourself and the people around you! This is where finding a coach instead of a counsellor is going to make the biggest difference. Hear me: I love counselling, and even trained to be one, and it has its’ place. But stuck-ness in the present moment is going to need a coaching approach, not a counselling approach: one that helps you shift your thinking out of your past/present into present/future possibilities. ASK yourself to answer these two questions on a scale of 1-10: how much do you want your life to be different in a year and how willing are you to change it? If the answer is AN 8…you are probably READY for a coach!

How can someone identify if they truly need a life coach, and what should they look for when choosing one?

I think coaching (life or leadership coaching) is most effective when someone is ready for things to be different and ready to do the work to make it different. Maybe a person is feeling stuck, or maybe they are simply just feeling like things are the same and they want things to be different in a year. Either way, coaching is helpful as a thought-process through wise and intentional questions to allow time for thinking and reflection, leading to insights and action. I think many people live life like it is happening to them, when in reality, you can choose where you focus and who you become. We have plans for our finances and our retirement, why do we not have plans for the type of people we want to be, or who we want to be as a leader or manager? 

If I was looking for a coach, I’d definitely look for someone you think you can trust and be fully open with – where there is some chemistry. I would also probably tend to encourage people to work with someone who may have experience in areas they wish to grow, but this isn’t a hard and fast rule. That’s why most coaches offer a 15-minute free discovery call to explore questions and chemistry.

What daily habits or mindset shifts do you recommend for personal growth and resilience?

Curiosity is the biggest mindset shift, I think especially for women. We tend to make value judgements on everything, even ourselves (I’m thinking here those statements: “I am too much,” or “not enough”). When I shift from judging…to being curious about what is happening inside and outside, it makes me willing to explore where those thoughts come from or interact with someone different from me, rather than be intimidated or to be hard on myself. 

Finding time to give attention to what is going on inside of you is a really important: for some this might be quiet time in the morning or evening, for others this could be walking without listening to a podcast. You need to pay attention to the affect your life is having on you or you wake up one day wondering how you “got here” or (in worst cases) can’t get out of bed because your life has become too much. As a person of faith, I think reminding myself daily that I am valuable and loved because of who I am and not what I do for others is critical. 

How do you balance your professional life as a coach with your personal life?

This may be a controversial statement but I think that balance is a bit of an illusion and has become a burden because it feels like it creates polarities (you either have balance or you don’t). For me, the question is more about living integrated or living from wholeness. For example, when I am in a season of high demand (stress or busyness) often times my time and desire for my normal workout routine would diminish. But instead of giving it up completely, I make it my goal to do something active with less intensity (or less time). Sometimes that means I schedule a “walking meeting” with a client or I would do 25 minutes of exercise rather than the hour because I refused to let what was important to me be taken away completely. I still try to live into all the parts of myself all the time, but the intensity shifts with the season. It is not so much balanced living as living-whole; with every part of my life activated.

What role does self-care play in achieving life goals, and what practices do you personally follow?

Ruth Haley Barton says that the best gift we offer to others is our transformed self, which means our entire self needs attention. We are constantly being and becoming and every season demands different types of growth and/or rest. Personally, I have something called “rule of life”; if you imagine that every season of your life requires different fruit/strengths from you, then you need to decide how you are going to grow and nurture your roots. What inputs do you need for this next season? What rhythms?  What disciplines? This can include everything from spiritual practices (prayer and meditation), physical exercise, creativity & play and social events. 

If you could give one piece of empowering advice to your younger self, what would it be? 

Don’t be so hard on yourself, you are actually doing really great!

The post Amanda Buchanan: Living & leading with Clarity, Confidence & Compassion appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

I’m thrilled to welcome Chris Vacher to today’s conversation. With over 20 years of experience serving in leadership roles—including Executive Pastor and church consultant—Chris brings a unique blend of strategic insight and coaching expertise to the table.

He’s the founder of Chris Vacher Leadership Solutions, through which he empowers mission-driven teams to move from confusion to clarity and confidence using his proven “Team360” methodology—holistic leadership coaching, performance assessment, and transformative team workshops

Chris tell my global audience a little about you.

I know your blog audience is global so it’s probably important to say I’m Canadian! Sonya and I have been married 15 years, we have 4 kids and live just east of Toronto. Since 2005 I’ve worked full-time in churches involved in everything on the creative side and also leadership. I’m currently pursuing my Master’s in Leadership and I’m a huge fan of coffee! 

Explain what is a worship pastor and what is your role in that.

So, anyone who is a pastor is responsible for shepherding people as part of a local church congregation. Worship pastors do that mostly through what happens in the worship services – the music, prayers, communion, readings, and the design of the service itself. I became a Christian in high school and because I was very musical, I got involved in leading worship right away, not knowing it would be a huge focus of my life for the next 20 years. 

How important is music in the service?

How important is food to a meal? Music is this amazing shared human experience that crosses cultures, generations, geography and every other thing that divides us. Every person is not necessarily musical but every person is impacted by music. And since the beginning of time music has been part of religious services. The Bible also reminds us that music is part of the eternal worship service happening in heaven!

The musical part of our worship service helps us focus on God, helps build our faith, helps encourage people around us, and reminds us that we’re part of a larger community than my own isolated experience. 

We have so many songs to choose from, why add new songs and songwriters?

Great question! Every song was once a new song that was written out of that time’s unique celebrations and challenges. So why not today? God is always at work in new and fresh ways so let’s write songs that help to tell that story. (By the way, God also works in faithful and consistent ways which is why we continue to sing songs from previous generations.

Another big reason is that we can’t help it! People are created in the image of a God who creates.. we carry with us this creative spirit as part of our identity. God created out of nothing but we get to take words, notes, rhythm, and patterns and create songs that have never existed before. The songwriters that I work with at Sanctus are some of the most creative people I’ve ever met who have decided to dedicate this creative work we’re doing to God.

Tell me about your own music, creativity, mindset, and your experience in creative leadership.

Both of my parents were music teachers so music has always been a significant part of my life. Piano lessons, a huge record collection, trips to the symphony with my mom and so many more examples I could tell you. When I was 12 or 13, we started to realize that there was some musical ability that could really become the focus of my life if I was passionate about it and dedicated to the craft. Music has opened so many doors in my life from friendships to education to travel and so much more.

Creativity for me is expressed in many ways. I think solving an organizational challenge requires just as much creativity as writing a song. Creativity is more a recognition of who I am (and who you are!) and less about a specific skill set or special superpowers. I believe that everyone is creative. There really is no such thing as “creative.” Look at 3-year-olds. Have you ever seen a 3-year-old who is not creative? Of course not. Over time that side of who we are transforms and we lose some of that understanding.

By the way, this doesn’t mean that every person is an artist. Creativity and artistry are not the same things. An artist is someone who has given decades of their life to mastering a particular craft that requires an incredible amount of creative skill. Everyone is creative but not everyone is an artist.

Leadership has been an interesting journey for me, mostly because for a long time I thought that artists couldn’t be leaders. Not true, of course. Over the last 10 years, I’ve learned how to take my creative experience and my leadership ability and combine those. Of course, I’m still growing with that but I think I’ve got an interesting and unique history that allows me to speak to different groups of people in different ways. Leading more creative-minded people and helping more leadership-minded people think creatively bring me so much joy!

Give me three practical pieces of advice on how to be a great husband, an amazing father, and manage finances.

Great husband – Go away with your wife without kids twice a year. It doesn’t need to be fancy, and it never has been for us! Put those dates on the calendar and commit to being together, just the two of you, for even 48 hours. It makes a huge difference.

Amazing father – My kids are 13, 11, 10, and 8 so I have zero advice to give to parents of teenagers! For those of you with younger kids, as often as possible, eat meals together at the table.

Managing finances – Other than marry an accountant?? (Love you, Sonya!) When we got married, we decided that any purchase over $50 needed permission from the other one. We’ve stuck to that rule for 15 years and it’s served us pretty well so far. 

I know you are a foodie, it is your French genes. Tell me a little bit more about this passion.

My dad was born in France and I’ve been able to visit family there several times. I’m so grateful for that! I love cooking for people but the truth is that I love the time around the table more than I love the time in the kitchen. The magic of what happens when people are sitting together with good food, good wine, and good stories is so special. I love finding great restaurants but we also love having people we love around our table enjoying a great meal together.

I’m also a huge fan of discovering restaurants that are focused on serving great food to customers they care about. I’m not huge on chain restaurants so I’ll often hunt for a great place to go with friends to enjoy a really special meal together. 

Name three restaurants to have a romantic date in Durham.

My top 3:

KB in Whitby

Marwan’s Global Bistro in Port Perry

Chuuk in Pickering 

How important are wine, French fries, and vegetables with a steak? 

I mean you can’t have steak frites without the frites! Throw some roasted Brussels sprouts or spring peas or a cucumber and tomato salad beside that steak.. heaven! Who would possibly enjoy a great steak without some great veggies on the side?

Chris, you run a farm, are a father to four kids, husband, songwriter, producer, and executive pastor. I am tired of just writing it. Give me practical advice on how do you balance this. 

It would be an insult to farmers to say that we have a farm! But, yes, we have chickens and we’re looking to have bees again this year. We love having a bit of space out of town where we can enjoy a great time together as a family.

How do you balance? I’m not sure I’ve always done that well and I’m not sure the way people think of balance is actually possible. Focus is maybe a better word. I’m pretty focused on how I want to spend my time, how I want my family to grow, what I want to learn, and what kind of home we want to have. And I’m passionate about all of those things, too! So, when I make mistakes, I hope that people recognize it’s out of passion and focus rather than not caring.

But.. practical advice. I really believe God was on to something when He asked people to rest. I believe people can be more productive in six days than they can in seven, in the long term. Since 2012 I have practiced the weekly rhythm of the sabbath where I take a full 24 hours (usually Friday evening to Saturday evening) and step away from what would work. On that day I get to do the things I don’t normally get to do in the other six days. I get to enjoy time with the people I love. I get to wander around the yard with my kids. I get to nap! And I get to enjoy the reminder that God is with me and the work that He is doing in my life and in the world is much more significant than any work I could ever do on my own.

Work from rest, don’t rest from work.

Tell me a good pastor joke. 

I don’t think its real but it always gets a good laugh!

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