I admire Sakshi Shrivastava.

Sakshi Shrivastava talks openly about her mental health and deals with it. Sakshi Shrivastava is real, vulnerable, unguarded, and answers without a stitch.

Is it any wonder that she has more than 30,000 followers on Linkedin?

Recently, a senior manager of communication for a non-profit asked how come I have so many followers on social media. This senior manager had a blog, a degree in communications, and had the title but no followers or readers on her site.

We can learn a lot from Sakshi Shrivastava. She does not make excuses. She has accepted the cards dealt to her. Give her a lemon and she makes lemonade. She has taken her empathy and compassion to another level by taking care of street dogs.

Sakshi has accepted her limitations and realized hey let’s become an entrepreneur.

In life when you are transparent, real, vulnerable, and speak from the heart, people are attracted to you.

As you read about Sakshi here is my call to action for you. How do you view your weaknesses? How do you deal with the cards that life has thrown at you? Do you become critical, and blame everyone else? Or do you look in the mirror and become empowered?

Sakshi, welcome to Four Columns. I want to know something important about you.

While writing answers to your questions, I left this one for the last. I’ve been a little intimidated by this one, but let’s do this with one of the things I adore — lists!

1. I’m a 27-year-old mom of two adopted ex-street dogs
2. I’m the co-founder of a digital marketing agency
3. I’m an animal activist and co-founder of Paw People, on a mission to improve the lives of street animals
4. I’m a lefty
5. I have a tattoo of a book on my wrist and an honors degree in English Literature
6. I love lifting weights in the gym
7. I’m kind of a tech junkie, I love flashy new gadgets
8. I battled depression, anxiety, and burnout and continue to raise awareness around it
9. I love social media! I’m very active on LinkedIn and Instagram
10. I don’t understand poetry, but I like to pretend that I do

I love the name of your company Digital Curry. Talk to me about it. How did you come up with the idea?

I’m as desi (you might have to Google the term, it’s a Hindi word but I’m sure you can find a way to add it to your daily vocabulary) as it gets. Digital Curry is a flavourful brainchild born out of passion, spice, and everything nice. 

We wanted our business to represent the freshness we bring to the world of B2B marketing. Needless to say, we got a little ‘curried’ away and so, TDC came to life.

Walk me through the process of quitting your job and becoming an entrepreneur.

You know how there’s a feeling inside your heart telling you that you’re born to be an entrepreneur, to be your own boss, to live life on your own rules? Yeah, I didn’t have that at all. 

I always enjoyed my perfectly laid out KPIs, task lists, and limited liabilities. I loved the comfort of a steady paycheck every month. But after COVID hit, like a lot of other people I ended up with burnout. Couldn’t stand going to work at all and I had the privilege of leaving my job so I took the plunge.

I took a break for a month and started freelancing. In just a couple of months, the demand grew more than I could manage by myself so, my partner Abhishek quit his job too and joined in to build TDC with me and we officially launched in January 2022.

Help me understand your vision, mission, and unique value proposition. 

Love this question. Here’s the thing — we were both accidental entrepreneurs. We were never obsessed with the idea of building huge businesses and getting expensive exits down the line.

One thing we’ve always been passionate about is our love for dogs. We have two adopted dogs at home, they helped me through some of the most difficult phases of our lives. So we decided to find passion through the power of doing good. 

Ever since we built TDC, we have been using 10% (or more if needed) of all our top-line revenue to feed street dogs. It started with a handful of dogs and today, we feed about 60 street dogs daily. We’ve also rescued two dogs, and regularly take part in helping vaccinate and neuter them with local NGOs.

So, our vision is to scale TDC while working with brands that believe in the power of doing good. Business has to mean more than just making a profit. We want to work with brands that believe in doing more.

We plan on building our first dog shelter by the end of this year, followed by multiple others across the county. With TDC, we want to bring real change in real lives and we’ll move mountains to do it.  

As a women entrepreneur, do you face any cultural or gender bias?

So far, I haven’t noticed any significant difference between how I’m treated in comparison to how Abhishek (my male co-founder) is treated. All the people I’ve talked to have been respectful, and considerate, and did not treat me differently just because I’m a woman. 

Is women empowerment a buzzword? In your own words, what is women’s empowerment?

Yes and no. My understanding of it has evolved a lot over the last few years. For me, equality does not end with empowering modern women who are ready to fight for their rights. It has to be more inclusive than that. 

I now focus on building more inclusive ideas of gender equality, where there’s a place for trans-women, women from challenging financial circumstances, women to conform to the norms of society while empowering the next generation in their capacity, also men who face discrimination, and amongst others.

Women empowerment has been thrown around a lot, especially by huge corporations without a lot of actual groundwork. So, it’s a buzzword when it’s used as a buzzword. At the same time, I know many people from all different genders that are doing phenomenal work in bringing actual change in society.

In the Indian culture are you talking more about mental health? Or is it put under the carpet?

As a very vocal mental health advocate, I’ve seen both. Quick background about myself: I was diagnosed with clinical depression and anxiety in my last year of college, was on medication for almost two years and had a lot of therapy. Then had a burnout in 2020.

All of this has been pretty public on my social media. I’m very active on LinkedIn with a substantial readership, so I make a point to share my experiences, no matter how uncomfortable they are to share. This normalizes not being okay and more and more people open up.

We need to note that my background is still very privileged. My parents recommended I see a psychiatrist when I felt low, I could leave my job when I was burnt out, I could afford therapy, I could open up about my struggles and it did not affect my job.

This isn’t the case for everyone. So, I’ve been noticing a major shift in how we talk about mental health but at the same time, all of us live in a bubble. That bubble could be big or small, but we never get to see the actual vast spectrum of experiences others from different backgrounds have. 

Why is mental health not given the same importance as physical and financial health?

If I break my leg, I can’t hide it. People will know I have a broken leg. If I go bankrupt, people will know. If I’m depressed, I can smile it away and nobody will know unless I tell them.

There are many reasons contributing to the shushing of mental health, the stigma, the lack of understanding, the fear of judgment, and the cost to treat it. 

When I share my experiences with mental health, I get tons of comments from people publicly sharing their stories. At the same time, I also get a lot of DMs of people silently opening up about their struggles because they’re afraid their peers will see it and judge them.

I’m sure the narrative is changing very rapidly, but what we need to keep the momentum going is more inclusive conversations on a range of different platforms. Mental health is still an issue that many cannot even afford to think about. We need to make sure it does not end up becoming something that only privileged people know and care about.

I want to know something unique about your city and the food scene.

I’ve lived in 5 cities by now. So, we’ll need to do another piece about this question entirely if I go in depth about it but let me talk about Indian food. I pride myself on being a foodie and I’m happy to say that I live in heaven. From 5-star hotels to street food, it’s all a blessing. 

If you’re into sweet food, you’ll never leave India. If you’re into spicy food, I’m sure I don’t have to explain how India is the spice heaven of the world. If any of your readers decide to visit India, I hope they reach out to me, I’ll take them out to try the best food they can find!

I love your wicked sense of humor. So tell me a few jokes.

Haha, on the contrary, I’ll give you a very bland answer. 

I’m not a jokes person, you know? My humor is very situational. I’m the one who tells those jokes that if you weren’t there, they will mean nothing to you. I do like to think I’m funny, as much as my partner gets tired of my relentless puns and dad jokes, he’s told me one of the reasons he decided to spend his life with me is because I make him laugh. 

The post Sakshi Shrivastava: Digital Curry appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

Stuck means you are in a situation that is unfortunate that you cannot get out of. Unstuck is the process and framework of getting out of that unfortunate situation.

The synonyms for stuck include: frozen, jammed, lodged, set, tight, wedged, and snug. There are certain words attached to stuck: bonded, cemented, glued, embedded, entrenched, immovable, and unyielding. You see where I am going.

It is a new year. We do not have to be stuck to old ideas, concepts, ways of doing things, and mindsets. These are literally harming you.

Getting unstuck is the answer. Become intentional and find ways and solutions to barriers that are holding you back.

I talk to Cheryl Patterson who holds a B.A. in Psychology from the University of Waterloo, in addition to an applied background in both counseling and business.

Her passion to help others led her from the daunting anticipation of doing it from a desk to being able to have more freedom and more of an impact as a freelance writer and magazine columnist for more than twenty years. She has inspired thousands of people with her health and well-being articles and columns in national and international magazines and continues to do so in her own publication.

Cheryl also continues to inspire people internationally with her podcast and book.

Cheryl shares her most vulnerable feelings and experiences in this interview.

Cheryl, welcome to FourColumns. I find writing cathartic. What drew you to writing?

Writing has always been a passion for me, originally as a way to express myself as a child, and later to also teach what I learn. I used to carry a book around with me in my 20’s to jot down ideas as I thought of them. I think one of my first ideas that randomly came to mind was about the stepping stones of life, and how our experiences were a step leading us to the next one.

I’ve also always wanted to help people. At first, I thought I wanted to do it through counseling, and got my B.A. in Psychology and counseling diploma. However, I realized that I could have just as much (if not more) impact through writing.

We all get stuck in life. Marriage with no romance or life, dead-end job, cynical family, toxic friends, and emotionally burned. How does your podcast deal with and talk about these issues?

The podcast, Unstuck: Stay Busy or Get Real, deals with all of these issues because they all come from core areas that we can pay attention to and begin to modify in simple ways in order to progress forward.

For instance, our self-worth can impact all of these areas we can get stuck in. If you’re struggling with low self-worth, how do you attract people in your life that will treat you like you deserve to be treated, or strive for the job you really want?

Once you realize some of the areas keeping you stuck, you can begin to make changes to improve them. The podcast provides insight into areas that can impact your personal or professional success and provides suggestions for actions that can help you get unstuck and move forward. This can be general life challenges, or ones that seem to come out of know where, or even periodically, like the holidays – a difficult time for a lot of people.

Do not get me started about the holidays. We create the perfect cards, the perfect ads on TV, the perfect romance, the perfect snowfall. Talk about this pressure and how to deal with it?

Like most stressful experiences, once you realize it’s taking its toll, then you can begin tweaking things to create improvements for the better.

Sometimes we do these holiday things in the guise of happiness, but if it’s not making you happy, take some time to think about why. Make a list of what’s making you happy, and what’s not. Share some of the responsibilities that someone else might not mind doing so that you can do more of what you enjoy. Pay attention to your wants and needs and make sure there’s a balance between this and what you do for others, and focus more on meaning and fulfillment rather than perfection.

For those who are alone or struggling because of loss around this time of year, creating change is your friend. Doing the same things will get you the same results, and feelings… Plan ahead for a different experience. Create new routines and traditions in support of feeling better. For instance, instead of mourning someone, honor them instead. Bake or cook something they used to (or used to like) as a special gesture to them. The ideas are endless. Just make it special and positive to create a new experience moving forward. I’ve been here and this is what helped me.

As I get older, my friends, career, family, and direction are all aligned with my goals and value. I also had to dig deep and see where I get my identity from. I was stuck in certain areas of how I thought. If we do not deal with it we get worried, stressed, ashamed, and feel unwanted. You deal with these issues in the book. Walk me through it?

Put simply, to be happy in life, in any area, we have to be real with ourselves, regarding what needs are being met from all of these areas you mentioned (relationships, career, goals, etc.), and which ones aren’t, and this comes from within.

It can be easy to blame the outside world regarding why things aren’t working, but this just keeps us stuck. It’s important to pay attention to things like how you’re feeling, what’s nagging at you, possible triggers, and possible things about yourself that may be holding you back.

Any struggle you experience is tied to your emotions (your subconscious), which inhibits your progress. We want to stay safe, even without realizing it, and even if it means we’re in pain or struggle because it’s what’s familiar and easy. To get unstuck, and get to where you want to go or to be the person you desire to be, means you have to be honest with yourself.

Do you have hidden shame, feel poorly about yourself (in spite of the brave front you present to the world), engage in the same scenarios over and over? This is all potential learning, letting you know that you have an opportunity for growth that can get you closer to your ideal self and experiences.

The more we learn about ourselves, our struggles and patterns, and why they’re there, the more we can live more in alignment with a happier and more fulfilling life. It opens us up to healthier relationships, achieves our goals, and makes living a more fulfilled life attainable.

The alternative is to keep things the same – to stay in emotional turmoil (i.e. shame, guilt, fear, worry, doubt, feeling poorly about yourself, etc.) – which will result in the same chaotic outcomes, and lead to poor health. You can’t be stressed and healthy simultaneously because your immune system is suppressed and your body is fighting a toxic chemical cocktail in this state.

My book, The Little Black Book For Getting Unstuck, provides some quick, simple, and straightforward ways that you can get unstuck, and live more in alignment with your ideal self and life. And I don’t just tell, I put myself out there too, and get vulnerable, and share some of my own obstacles that I’ve had to overcome in my life since childhood. Not pretty, but necessary.

Many of my readers are stuck. Give them hope for 2022?

I came from an unstable family, with parents that had no idea about how to deal with conflict, other than alcohol, violence, chaos, and breakups. Most of my childhood was spent in and out of foster care. Fortunately, I was one of the fortunate ones because of some of the people I met that helped me feel loved and worthy enough to require more from myself than to become the negative things I saw.

Thankfully, I’ve also always had a mind of my own, and although my past created many obstacles for me to overcome, such as low self-worth (something that took me a lifetime to realize was even an issue), shame, fear, doubt, I pushed through. If I ran into situations I wanted to overcome, I learned about how to improve them, and I still do. I’ve been passionate about putting every lesson, tool, story, or experience into practice to become the person I want to be, living the life I want to live. It hasn’t always been easy for me, but perseverance and learning have been everything. Learning really has been powerful for me because it enables growth and success.

If I could give you one tip for 2022, it would be to carve out 10-15 minutes a day to learn something that will improve your situation. The most impactful learning will be about yourself, and it doesn’t have to be complicated. It can be as simple as learning about a few practices you can add to your day to help you stay accountable for whatever goal you’re striving for, or to help you maintain self-confidence in an area you’re struggling with or ways to feel better. Think about an area that you’re struggling with and start from there. And never give up.

I have a morning ritual that starts with things that keep me feeling peaceful and happy (an open vs. closed state for achieving daily tasks/goals), even on those days, it feels challenging. Meditation, journaling (including gratitude), and learning are three staples that are as important as brushing my teeth. Think about a little ritual you can create for yourself to set the pace for your day, inspire and keep you feeling balanced, and act as a buffer and a preventative for those days you feel off.

The post Getting Unstuck: How To Become Happier appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.