Paula Novella is a blogger based in Melbourne, Australia. We catch up and talk about honesty, integrity, and what her blog is all about.

Paula, please share a little about yourself.

I am a 52-year-old who has been focused on living a healthy lifestyle for the last few years. I wrote my first story one year before I published it, but very happy I did!

What is your blog about? What is unique about it and who is your audience?

My blog is a health and well-being blog and I think what sets it apart is that I want to engage with my readers. I named the blog ‘shared stories’ because I want the blog to be interactive. A platform for everyone to ‘share’ their ‘story’ and for this reason my audience is everyone!

Why did you get into blogging?

I started blogging because I love to write and can’t believe how much ‘stuff’ I had in my head.

Talk to me about the city you live in? The food scene…restaurants and why we should visit it?

I live in Melbourne, Australia which is a great city with an abundance of nightlife, restaurants, and bars, not to mention the music scene available.

What does women empowerment mean to you?

Women’s empowerment is especially important because not all women are able to achieve without it.

Life is challenging. Help me understand something you have been through, what you learned from it and how you dealt with it?

My mother’s death when I was a young 19-year-old totally changed my life and I know that had she not left me when I was just starting my life I would be a totally different person to who I am today.

What are some values in life that you stick by?

I believe that integrity and honesty are two very important qualities in a person.  I try to live my life respecting everyone’s right to their opinions but try very hard to not let that get in their or my way of achieving goals.

How do you balance faith, food, finance, and family in the 21st century?

I believe that setting and working towards goals is very important and that balance in everything is the key.

The post Paula Novella: Honesty & Integrity appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

Thrive by taking responsibility and becoming empowered.

I had not spoken to a cousin that I grew up with for quite a while. We were living in different countries, and life got in the way.

We connected on WhatsApp, and over the next three days, my cousin blamed the whole world for her issues. Therefore, I gave up trying to convince my cousin to take personal responsibility.

I have mentored a lot of people in the corporate world. One of the people I was mentoring was getting fired a lot. He kept on blaming his bosses. As a result, I just asked him one question. What is the common factor? After that, I wanted to convince him that he needed to have a sense of responsibility.

I got a call from a very good friend who is getting divorced after two decades of marriage. Not once did my friend take responsibility. It was always the fault of the other spouse.

The reason I say to take responsibility for your life is that it empowers you, and you thrive, moving from a victim to a champ. As a result, you are in the driver’s seat and deal with the challenges of life.

I am focusing on embracing responsibility because it is the bedrock for success and happiness in all areas of your life. For instance, you cannot shift the blame, make excuses, find a scapegoat, or allow yourself to be blown by the wind. Thrive in every area of your life by taking responsibility.

Responsibility Quotes

The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs – Joan Didion

When you blame others, you give up your power to change – Unknown

It is a painful thing to look at your own trouble and know that you yourself and no one else has made it – Sophocles

Stop Whining and Grumbling

I have yet to meet a person who likes hanging around people who whine and grumble about everything.  In other words, when you do that, you cannot accept the present situation and deal with it. Therefore, whining is being a victim and saying I do not have a choice. Similarly, you are focusing on things going wrong around you and not focusing on the big picture of the forest. In conclusion, if you deal with the situation, you will not whine about it. Do not ask the question of why me? How about what now? What can I learn from this situation?

I had liked a girl for more than a decade. Similarly, it was really like a Forrest Gump syndrome. She dated a few friends of mine. During Christmas 1999, she was in town and we had dinner with my parents and her parents. She finally said she wanted to date me. I was super excited. She flies back to the city where she was working and calls me at midnight and says she does not see this working out.

In 2000, I just started dating other women, met Debbie, and have been married for 24 years.

Stop Pointing Fingers

The moment you point fingers at your family, the way your parents raised you, your partner, or the economy for your situation, you are back in victim mode. Walk away and say to yourself, how did I play a part in this?

I have an undergrad in hospitality. I wanted to make a career in managing money. As I continued to work, I went back to night school, got a business degree, and did many courses that helped me make a career in trading and managing money.

Stop Making Excuses

The time is now to stop making excuses. In addition, it is stale, stuffy, and stodgy. You cannot make excuses for poor choices in life, accomplishments, and failure. This kind of behavior leads to negative thinking and negative behavior. As a result, friends, family, and acquaintances will drop you.

Learn from failure, poor choices, and try not to repeat them. If you make excuses, you will continue to go down a beaten path in your personal and professional life.  It will sap you of your energy and strength. You are also not giving yourself space to learn from your mistakes. You need to give yourself room to grow by having a sense of moral and personal responsibility

You have to think positive. Similarly, it is vital to stop the negative thoughts in your mind and focus on the positive that is happening in your life. This frees you up. If you dwell on negativity, it leads to physical symptoms that are not healthy.

The next time you speak, listen to yourself. If you are blaming others for your job, your salary, your spouse or goals, become aware of these negative patterns and work on stopping it right away. If friends, family or colleagues are offering feedback on your behavior, be open to listening to them, because they are around you.

I have to work on being positive daily. After a career in wealth management, I had to stop focusing on my MBA and other achievements. I had to sit down and write down stuff that I needed to change and embrace the new economy. I went back to the restaurant business and started this blog.

How To Take Responsibility

What is responsibility? How does one take personal responsibility? What does it mean to have a sense of responsibility?

You have to take responsibility for your reactions, actions, words from your mouth, social media exchanges, feelings, and thoughts. The life around you is created by you from the above actions. You have to realize no one is controlling you. No one can force you to react, say something, do something, or do anything. It is within your power how you respond to the environment around you.

Take Control

I am a super sensitive person. However, I am getting better and learning that not everything is about me. If someone cuts you on the highway, it is more about what is going on in their life and not mine. A hurting person is always out to hurt other people. I have to take control of how I respond to everything happening around me. I cannot control how other people respond.

Happiness

We focus on happiness and forget about joy. The world, children, friends, work, colleagues, parents, and spouse are not responsible to make you happy. It is a daily decision that comes from within and a life filled with forgiveness, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, compassion, and gratitude.

Go on a walk, connect with nature, write down what you are grateful for, spend time with loved ones, listen to music that uplifts your soul, and become creative.

Do not focus on the past or the future but the present.

There is nothing we can do about the past. We can learn from it. We do not know what tomorrow brings. So, relish the present. It is called a present or a gift for a reason. Embrace it and use it to the full extent.

Become Intentional

In life you have choices. Become intentional in having a great fulfilling career, amazing spouse, amazing health, amazing neighborhood. Become the change that is needed. Have a mission and vision statement for your life. It will come alive.

Breathe deeply

If issues come in life, take a deep breath. Calm yourself down. Look at confidence-building measures that empower you to respond positively.

Love Unconditionally

Be very careful about how you judge other people. Are you using a different measure than how you measure yourself? People are broken. Some hide it better. Do not label anyone. Give people the benefit of doubt. I have yet to meet a fully secure person. People do, say and act weird because of their insecurities.

Listen

Ask my daughter what is my biggest weakness? She will say I am a lousy listener. I love talking. I can talk for hours. I like to be a selective listener and like to respond right away. I need to understand what my daughter is saying.

Apologize

We have hurt people. Just admit it. We may have bullied people in school. We may have said some hurtful things. We may have stolen. The list goes on. Go ahead and say sorry. You are taking responsibility for your actions.

Taking responsibility for your actions also means patting yourself on the back for a great job done, getting a promotion, doing well in school, or just succeeding in life.

I talked about that taking responsibility empowers you and lets you thrive in life. You can choose to be positive or guilty. The choice is yours. The positive mindset is not reactive but proactive. Therefore, it is a sign of maturity, respect for everyone around you.

I challenge you to take responsibility for every area of your life. Accept your humanity, brokenness, imperfection, and embrace taking responsibility.

Go for a win-win situation and empower yourself to live a positive, fruitful, valuable, and satisfying life.

Write to me or comment as to how taking responsibility has changed your life.

Photo Credits:  Gerd Altmann  Adi Goldstein  Gabriel Matula  Isaiah Rustad George Gvasalia STIL Sharon McCutcheon Aiony Haust Felix Koutchinski

The post Thrive by taking responsibility appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.