At a recent coaching session, someone asked me to ‘define your why’. Out of more than fifteen participants, I was one of the few that defined my why.

During the coffee break, a few participants came up to me and asked how I arrived at my answer.

About a decade back, a mentor of mine challenged me to move from the success to the significant phase. I undertook a long detailed, personal, reflective, and introspective process that helped me understand my motivations, values, goals, and purpose in life.

I am going to outline the steps that will help you define your why. Later I will list the advantages of defining your why.

Self-reflection

The first thing I had to do was to write down what truly mattered to me. My wife, daughter, parents, health, job, friends, travel and blogging. I had to take into account my goals, values, passions, and the things that fulfilled me and had to make sure they were all aligned.

I want you to self-reflect on: What are your core values and principles? What activities or goals give you a sense of purpose and fulfillment? What are the things that you are most passionate about?

In order to define your why, self-reflection is a critical part of the process.

Identify your strengths and interests

To define your why, you need to focus on your skill set, talent, strengths, and your core competence.

What comes naturally to you? What are you good at? What do you enjoy doing the most?

Your why has to be aligned with your strengths and interests.

You might want to be a cop. Are you willing to work the night shift? Are you willing to shoot someone? Are you willing to see humans in their worst behavior?

No matter what you want to do it has to be in sync with your strengths.

Set goals to define your why

Set career, personal development, relationships, community involvement, and physical goals in every area of your life. You need a holistic approach to life. These holistic goals will be the drivers in defining your why. These goals need to have a meaning.

Defining your why requires you to think about your legacy

To define your why, you have to consider your legacy.

Legacy involves reflecting on the impact you want to have on the world and how you will be remembered. What impact do you want to make on the world or the people around you?

Legacy is often built on the principles that matter most to you. I strongly recommend that you cultivate important relationships and look at the impact you have on their lives. Think of sharing your skills, expertise, and knowledge with others. Get involved in mentoring, teaching, or contributing to educational initiatives. The knowledge you pass on to the next generation can be a lasting legacy.

Seek inspiration

Read books, and articles, and watch videos about topics you know nothing about. Engage in conversations with people from different backgrounds and cultures. Take walks in nature or urban areas to observe different settings.

Write it down

Come up with a mission statement for your life.  This statement can serve as a reminder and guide for your decisions and actions. I would strongly recommend that you share your why statement with a close friend or mentor. Ask them for their feedback and if it is realistic and doable. You will be surprised that an outside perspective can help you refine and clarify your why.

Embrace growth and change

Once you define your why, it may evolve over time as you learn, grow, and experience new things. It’s important to be open to change and adjust your why as needed.

Take action

Your “why” should drive your actions and decisions. Use it as a compass to make choices that align with your values and purpose.

Finding your “why” is an evolving, growing, continuing process. You have to accept the fact that it may take time to fully articulate and understand it.  Defining your why is about uncovering what truly motivates and inspires you, and using that as a guide to live a more meaningful and fulfilling life.

It is important to define your why for several reasons

Understanding your why gives your life purpose and meaning. It helps you to find a reason to get out of bed every day and pursue your goals and dreams.

Knowing your why can be a powerful source of motivation. When you have a clear understanding of why you are doing something, you are more likely to stay motivated and persistent in the face of challenges and obstacles.

Your why serves as a guiding light, helping you make decisions, set priorities, and keep you focused on what truly matters to you.

When you define your why, you are better equipped to handle setbacks and failures and it makes you resilient.

Being aware of your why allows you to reflect on your core values and beliefs. When you live in alignment with your values, you experience greater satisfaction and well-being.

Comprehending your why can serve as a powerful filter for decision-making. It can help you make choices that are in line with your long-term goals and desires. When you are clear about your values and priorities, you can communicate them effectively to others, and this can lead to more meaningful and harmonious relationships.

Exploring your why can be a journey of self-discovery. It can help you understand yourself better, including your strengths, weaknesses, and passions. It allows you to make choices and take actions that contribute positively to the world and lea

Living in alignment with your why often leads to greater happiness, well-being,  contentment, and life satisfaction.

In summary, knowing your why in life provides a sense of purpose, motivation, direction, and resilience. It can help you make better decisions, improve your relationships, and contribute to your overall well-being. It’s a fundamental aspect of personal development and self-awareness.

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Katalambano is a Greek word that means to grasp, apprehend, seize, get hold of, or overtake. The term means to compel, bring out the truth, take by surprise, and seize.

Lolita runs Katalambano It, a Christian women’s empowerment brand. I love its mission statement. ‘This website originally started out as a blog which was initially meant to unite women as a whole. But it has blossomed into a brand that believes in encouraging women to break the chains in their lives & challenge the quo. The mission, the heart of the brand is to empower women so that they learn to walk boldly and confidently in their purpose without excuses, without limitations, allowing them to successfully become all that God created them to be.  We know that with God all things are possible.  So welcome to liberation ladies because who the son sets free is truly free indeed. This is where the excitement begins!’

Lolita talks about her life as a blogger, author, and woman who wants to make a difference in this world.

Lolita, a warm welcome to another blogger on women’s empowerment. Talk to me a little about you.

First, let me start out by saying thanks for the invitation to be interviewed. It’s quite interesting to be on the other side of the table today. A little about me, I am the Founder of KATALAMBANO IT. A Christian Women’s Empowerment Brand. I started the brand a year ago with the intent of helping women break the chains in their lives and encouraging them to challenge the status quo. Most people know me as a writer first and far most. In fact, this entire initiative started out with me doing a monthly blog and writing a couple of self-published books & articles for various Christian publications. It has since, blossomed into a movement of sorts as I am helping women walk in their divine destiny. It is extremely important to me that women learn to tap into the power and authority that God has freely given them. So that they can essentially become all that God intended them to be.  

When I’m not running the brand I’m an avid football fan, so you’ll probably see me glued to the television. I also like to cook, listen to music, and hang out with friends or family. And from time to time, I’ll indulge in a good spa day, with a manicure & pedicure. Just typical girl stuff. But otherwise, I lead a simplistic lifestyle. However, at the root of it all, I’m always paying homage to God because he truly is the source of my joy & strength. 

I am intrigued by your YouTube Channel and the name. Explain to me what it is all about, and why we should be subscribers.

I remember hearing a preacher doing a sermon using the word Katalambano in it. I was so intrigued by the word, so I started to do research to learn a bit more. I knew immediately that I wanted to name the brand KATALAMBANO IT right from the start. Because it’s such a powerful statement. It’s a Greek word that means “to take by force”. The brand is loosely based on the scripture Deuteronomy 1:8 ‘See I have given you this land. Go in and take possession of the land the Lord swore he would give to your fathers to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob and to their descendants after them.’ This verse is so authoritative. Every time I think about what it represents I simply get chills running up & down my body.

I feel as though so many of us have strongholds in our lives that prevent us from becoming all that God has called us to be. Figuratively speaking, we can’t go in and possess the land until we are completely free. So that’s why the tagline for the brand is “break the chain, challenge the status quo” you’ve got to be completely free to be ready to go after all that God has promised you. Coming from a space of childhood trauma, I always felt so powerless. This women’s empowerment brand is my way of making certain that every women’s voice is heard, loud and clear. I want to encourage women to subscribe to my channel if they feel led to be a part of a group that embodies what true freedom & resilience look like. Despite your past trauma, I truly do believe that God can get the glory out of your life and that you can walk boldly & confidently in victory. 

Permission To Love is a book written by you. Walk me through the process of how you came about this book and the aim of the book. 

Every process is pretty much the same with every book I write. It’s holy spirit inspired. I don’t have a particular formula or system, to be honest. I just allow the words to flow as God gives them to me. The premise of this book specifically, is really learning to love yourself from the inside out & giving God permission to love you just the way you are, as he created you to be. Understanding that trying to be anything outside of who God created you to be is simply shallow and a huge disappointment to not only God but yourself. God needs to know that who he created you to be is enough. Having this mindset will definitely free you from the cares and worries of this world. Trying to fit in & measure up to the world’s expectation of what true beauty and worthiness look like is not what this book is about. It’s quite the opposite. It is only when you really give yourself permission to love yourself just as you are, then and only then you will become a beacon of light to illuminate God’s amazing love to the world. 

You talk a lot about faith. What is faith? I want to know the practical aspects of it. 

Faith to me is being able to trust God even when what’s in front of me says to do otherwise. If you want the technical term it’s the evidence of things hoped for but not seen. Now let me break it down in a more practical aspect. I’ll use a mother who unfortunately has lost her child in a car accident. Everything at that moment says to question God’s validity. More importantly to question God’s love. That’s perfectly fine, that’s a typical human response. I don’t think that God expects anything else. But as we grow in our faith, that means that we learn to trust his divine plan even when it makes absolutely no sense to our human ability to comprehend. I recently did a video that spoke about God’s divine providence. This is when we must believe that it’s all working together for our good. Regardless of what our physical eyes tell us. Faith is our currency so that God can show himself strong & mighty in our lives. Because we know according to scripture that without faith it’s impossible to please him. 

As humans, we need to have hope. How has having hope helped you in your walk?

As I mentioned earlier I am the product of childhood trauma. Let me tell you if I didn’t have hope, I don’t know what my life would look like today. Hope and believing that God didn’t allow me to go through all that I’ve been through just for the heck of it, is what led me to be who I am today. Even as a child I always believed that everything that occurred in my life would one day be for his Glory and Honor. That’s what kept me going over the years. Trust me, the outcome of my life could’ve looked very different. But it has only been by the grace and mercy of God that I sit here today as an inspiration to many women around the world. The Bible says that the enemy will do things in our lives with evil intentions. But that God can turn it around and use it for good. So that’s the way I see my life. Everything that the enemy wanted to use to discourage, frustrate, and overtake my life. God re-aligned it all to bring me to where I am today. 

Help me understand how we can have our priorities in order.

I can’t give specifics for everyone else. But my guiding force is understanding that my number one priority is God. I’ve always said that if you take care of God’s business he’ll take care of you. That’s literally how I’ve run my life for the past forty-eight years. I know I’ve talked a lot about the brand, but I do still work a regular gig, Mon- Friday. I do realize that my heart & passion is the brand, but I also recognize God’s hand in my life through the job as well.  I believe that’s his way of helping to provide for my necessities in life. The Bible says but seek ye first the kingdom of God and all his righteousness and all these things will be added unto you. That’s basically how I prioritize my life. God first, and everything else comes afterward. Besides I’m not trying to get on God’s bad side, after all, he is a jealous God. 

Explain what women’s empowerment means to you and how you go about empowering women.

Women’s Empowerment to me is helping women find their voice in the world. And helping them to fully walk in the power and authority that God has called them to walk in. The way that I empower women is by leading by example and trying to demonstrate through my own life and personal walk with God what it looks like to walk in victory. With the brand specifically I offer a weekly power chat video on YouTube. I write an inspirational, uplifting monthly blog and I do quarterly blog interviews with other women under the Hues of Inspiration segment of the brand. I made up my mind early on that the brand would not only be about empowering women but one of my biggest goals also is to get rid of the stigma that women don’t support one another. I truly do go out of my way to make certain to encourage & pour out love to women from all around the world. Because it’s so vital to our success overall, to love each other. 

What is your message for my readers for 2023?

I don’t know that I have a specific message for your readers. But my personal word or creed for 2023 is GRATITUDE. My goal for this year is to be thankful and show gratitude for it all. The good and the bad. The word of God says that in all things give thanks. And that’s exactly what I plan on doing. It’s so easy to dwell on negativity but implementing this mode of thinking sort of forces me to see the best in the worst situations. God has been unequivocally good to me. Even in all my mess, he’s kept me, and he’s certainly blessed me beyond measure. I have so much to be thankful for. So, I suppose that’s what I’d like to leave your readers with. And of course, I extend gratitude and thanksgiving to you for allowing me to share my story & my brand with your audience today.

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