I am a lone parent, so how that differs from a single parent is that my children’s father is not involved in their lives financially or with his time. In that sense, I have had to support them by myself and, at times, have had to get creative to provide for them. I have gotten really good over the years at generating income from nothing, so now I’m teaching others the steps I took to figure out what they have to offer that can be monetized.

You talk about raising your daughter alone. Help me understand it better. What are some of the challenges of being a single mom?

The biggest challenge is financial.  I have always been able to provide for my family…at times when I didn’t know how I was going to make it, God always showed up and provided. Christmas was always stressful, I needed to earn extra money to provide a Christmas experience.  Some of the things I have done to provide Christmas are making 18 cases of homemade salsa and selling it, parking vehicles in my driveway for nearby events, and photography. The other challenge is getting time for rest.  There is no one else available to help pick up the slack…I’m the shopper, the laundress, the cleaner, the chef, the landscaper, the maintenance man (I have repaired and replaced my dishwasher myself), the snuggler, the tea party player, and the breadwinner.  Having a community around you for support is crucial.  I am grateful when a friend shows up at my house hands me my purse and my keys and tells me not to come back for 3 hours.

I love your pottery stuff. What inspires you to create and how did you get started?

Pottery was something I always wanted to try, it was on my bucket list.  December 2018 was a Christmas gift to myself to take classes.  I loved it. I learned quickly and had a natural talent for it.  Pottery has been a creative outlet for me as well as an outlet to get out of frustration…nothing like slamming some mud to work out aggression!

Do you have an online portal where you sell your pottery creations?

I sell my pottery mostly in person at hand-made shows and also have an Etsy portal: nicoleventurapottery.etsy.com

What does women’s empowerment mean to you?

Women stepping into the power they possess and not being afraid to take up space in a room.

Talk to me about the city you live in and why we should visit.

I live in Hamilton, Ontario.  I’ve lived here for 17 years.  I’m originally from a very small town in northern Ontario. Hamilton has that small-town feel of being a blue-collar city.  People here are real and don’t have an ounce of pretense.

How do you balance food, faith, finance, and family?

I don’t believe there is balance. However, with that, I believe that priorities are never in conflict so whatever the priority is at the time gets my attention.  My faith always gets my attention first, after that it is whatever the priority is.

Do you have any advice for my readers who are 25 years old?

Don’t wait until you’re older to not care what other people think of you…the sooner you realize that whatever they think of you has everything to do with them and nothing to do with you the sooner you step into your full power as a woman.

The post Single Mom With a Purpose appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

Some people tiptoe through life. Marna dances—bright hair, bold tattoos, and all. At 37, this Portland-based mother of two has weathered divorce, rediscovered love with her partner Chris, and embraced a fearless commitment to being unapologetically herself. Her blog, The Suburban Goddess Mom, is only five months old, but it already feels like a seasoned voice: funny, raw, and brimming with honesty about motherhood, reinvention, and the messy beauty of starting over.

In our conversation, Marna opens up about what drives her writing, the joys and challenges of blogging, the strength she found after an abusive marriage, and the small, sparkling moments—like a perfectly ordinary morning that inspired her blog’s name—that keep her grounded. Pull up a chair, grab a cup of coffee, and get to know the suburban goddess who proves that authenticity is its own kind of magic.

Marna a pleasure connecting with you on social media. Tell me a little about you and Suburban Goddess Mom?

Let’s see… I am 37 years old, divorced for two years, mother of two (6-year-old boy, Brayden, and 8-year-old girl, JoJo).  I have a serious life partner named Chris, who has given me a second chance at true love.  In addition, I am a bit of a wild, untamed energy/free spirit. As a result, tattoos, piercings, crazy colored hair are part of my repertoire.  Similarly, I am a self-described mess and a constant work in progress.  I am unabashedly me.  I have been blogging as The Suburban Goddess Mom for 5 months. The blog is a brutally honest account of my journey, transformation, and struggles. In conclusion, those who know me personally say it sounds just like me talking. 

What motivated you to start Suburban Goddess Mom?

I started my blog after posting on Facebook about a kick-ass day I was having.  It was one of those days where I felt like the best mother on earth.  The post read, “Today I feel like a suburban goddess mom and it’s only 9:30. Woke up at 6, made Chris his breakfast and lunch, cuddled with Brayden who woke up early, showered and washed my hair, I am dressed in non-workout clothes, woke JoJo, got both kids dressed, fed them breakfast, did JoJo’s hair for a change, played two games with Brayden, getting kids to school on time, grocery shopped, went to Starbucks.  And I will spend the rest of the day at school talking about Hanukah.  Some days are like this and some days I wear PJs all day and get nothing done.  But today I am patting myself on the back!!!”  In conclusion, the feeling of writing this and the response to it compelled me to start the blog. 

Talk to me about some of the challenges of starting a blog?

The biggest challenge for me with starting the blog is doing all the things that don’t bring me joy and that are not fun about blogging.  Setting up websites, formatting, etc.  After struggling through it for maybe a month I began outsourcing those tasks to a Virtual Assistant.  Which allows me to write, work on social media engagement and interactions.  I love it!

Why do you like writing?

I have always loved writing.  I remember writing pages and pages of stories in elementary school.  Even in high school I always took creative writing very seriously. I spent I think three summers taking creative writing classes at Skidmore, Oxford, Sarah Lawrence, and Williams College.  I wish I had gone to college for writing but was influenced to do something practical, teaching. Which I did for 8 years and I am now back to writing.  

Help me understand what motherhood has taught you?

I am not naturally inclined to motherhood.  I am not the vision of perfection. However, I am strong and I can do anything. My mother was the most amazing woman on earth. 

Walk me through Portland, a reason to visit and some good restaurants? 

I moved to Portland, Maine two years ago after my divorce.  It is a beautiful city, affordable compared to other places I have lived and the majority of people here are strong, unique, kind, and accepting.  Maine is known for its natural beauty; waterfront and woods.  It is the place to come for seafood especially Lobster.  Although I do not get to eat out very often, my top three restaurant choices are The Great Lost Bear (pub with tons of beer choices), Tiqa (Mediterranean food downtown), and Becky’s Diner (its where the fisherman all go).

Life is tough and challenging. Tell me something challenging you have been through and how did you deal with it?

I was in an extremely abusive and controlling marriage for ten years.  And one day I had just had enough and filed for divorce.  I moved 4 and a half hours away and started a new life.  At first, I dealt with it by being strong for my kids, pulling up my big girl panties and doing what needed to be done, then I dealt with it with alcohol, pot, and sex, and then finally I dealt with it with intensive therapy and tons of work on myself and introspection.

Life is incredibly tough, challenging, and unfair.  My life certainly proves that. I deal with all of it by therapy, spiritual practices, writing about it, finding things to be grateful for, acknowledging things suck and it is not fair, and constant support from my friends and partner.

On the lighter side, I want a good joke.

I am not much of a joke person.  Mostly I say and do dumb stuff or participate in witty banter.  This one is from my daughter:

Did you hear the story about the piece of butter?

Never mind. I don’t want to spread it around.

The post Suburban Goddess Mom appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

Being a single mom can be both rewarding and challenging, as it often involves balancing various responsibilities. Here are some aspects and tips that might help:

Challenges:

Financial Strain: Managing finances alone can be challenging. Creating a budget and seeking financial assistance or advice can be beneficial.

Time Management: Juggling work, parenting, and personal time can be overwhelming. Prioritizing tasks and organizing a schedule may help.

Emotional Stress: Single parenting may lead to emotional stress. Building a support system, seeking therapy, or joining parenting groups can provide emotional support.

Limited Personal Time: Finding time for self-care can be difficult. It’s crucial to carve out moments for yourself to recharge.

Decision-Making: As the sole decision-maker, the weight of responsibility can be heavy. Seeking advice when needed and making informed choices can help.

Rewards:

Strong Bond with Children: Being a single mom allows for a strong bond with your children. Quality time together can foster a close relationship.

Independence: Single moms often develop a sense of independence and resilience. Overcoming challenges can build strength and confidence.

Personal Growth: Managing various responsibilities can lead to personal growth. Learning new skills and adapting to change are common experiences.

Pride in Achievements: Accomplishing tasks and milestones independently can lead to a sense of pride and accomplishment.

Role Model: Serving as a positive role model for your children can be a rewarding aspect. Demonstrating resilience and determination sets an example.

Tips for Single Moms:

Build a Support System: Surround yourself with friends, family, and support groups. Share responsibilities when possible.

Prioritize Self-Care: Make time for self-care, even if it’s just a few minutes each day. Taking care of yourself enables you to better care for your children.

Set Realistic Goals: Break down tasks into manageable goals. This can make overwhelming responsibilities seem more achievable.

Communicate with Your Children: Open communication with your children helps them understand the situation and fosters a supportive environment.

Seek Assistance: Don’t hesitate to seek assistance, whether it’s financial support, childcare help, or emotional support. Many communities offer resources for single parents.

I talk to Davianna who is a single mom.

Davianna tell me something important about yourself and the mom pursuit.

I am a mother of 4 under 9 years old. I’m currently in school pursuing my bachelor’s in communication media and a minor in graphic design. I’ve been a stay-at-home mother for about 8 years.

What motivated you to start mom pursuit?

Mompursuit was created as an outlet and a place where other mothers could relate on different levels. I wanted to speak about tough topics that people were scared to talk about.

Please tell me the challenges of starting a blog.

The most difficult times were just setting everything up to get started. Learning WordPress. Stepping out of my comfort zone to be able to share my most vulnerable moments.

Why do you like writing?

Writing helps me express myself in so many ways. Writing has been my life coach and creative expression.

Help me understand what motherhood has taught you.

Motherhood taught me so many tough lessons. I’ve learned to master patience. Learning how to multitask while taking care of four children.

Talk to me about your city. Why should we visit it? Name three good restaurants.

I reside in Atlanta right now. You should visit Atlanta to enjoy southern hospitality. Some great restaurants would be, Applebee’s, Chili’s, and cheesecake factory.

Let us go for a walk and tell me something challenging you have been through. How did you deal with it?

The most challenging part of my life as a mother was losing myself. Giving my all to someone who wasn’t equally invested in my family’s vision. Having four children and realizing, I might be doing this by myself. The heartbreak of picking up the pieces, after infidelities. Everyone has been through this in one part of their lives. This is a part of my story, and why I’m as strong, today.

Life is tough, challenging, and unfair. Do you agree? Give my audience some advice on how to deal with adversity.

Always take time to cater to yourself. Even if it’s 5 minutes throughout the day. Make sure you remember who you were before the husband and kids.

Wow!!! Four children under 8  how do you balance food, faith, finance, and family?

A lot of coffee and notes. I write everything down or mentally remember what I have to do. I couldn’t function without some sort of organization in my life.

The post Davianna: Single Mom appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

Few events in life can be as profound and challenging as a divorce. It is one of the most painful and emotional experiences. You get angry, lonely, anxious, bitter, and desperate. Your identity is at stake and it can shake the very foundation of your life.

You have to deal with a number of issues: financial, emotional, professional, parenting, health, and spiritual. This article will deal with only the financial aspect of a divorce.

Legally this is a life-changing event. It is in your best interest to separate emotional attachment from strategic decisions.

Mediation, arbitration, litigation, and the collaborative process are some of the legal choices available. You need to educate yourself and see which is the most beneficial to you.

Mediation is a safe process provided by a neutral third party to help resolve issues that arrive during the divorce. It saves you money compared to going to court. You participate in the resolution.

Arbitration is a procedure in which a dispute is resolved by the agreement of parties to a binding decision by one or more arbitrators.

Collaborative Divorce is a family law process. It helps couples work with their lawyers in order to avoid uncertain outcomes in court. It best meets the specific needs of both parties and their children without the underlying threat of contested litigation.

Litigation is a process where your lawyer represents you in court. A judge makes the final decision. This can become a long, expensive, and cumbersome process. You should choose a lawyer that specializes in family law, and make sure you have a written fee agreement.

Have realistic expectations. A divorce will affect your lifestyle. Prepare a budget for yourself. Write down all your income minus your expenses. Differentiate between wants and needs. Try to stay away from debt.

Check your credit report. If all your credit cards were in both names, cancel the cards and order new ones in your sole name. Inform the credit agencies about your divorce.

Inform your bank and close the joint accounts. Open an individual account.

A house will be a major asset that belongs to both of you. Calculate the total carrying and operating costs to see if you can afford it on one salary. If not then you need to consider selling the house.

Check for beneficiaries on TFSA, RRSP, RRIF, LIF, and Life Insurance policies. Life insurance policies have an option of revocable or irrevocable beneficiaries. Remember to have your will updated.

Have the pension appraised. Some plans are easier to value and contribute. Others have a vesting schedule, defined benefits, and defined contributions.

Would you rather have a forty thousand-dollar BMW or a forty thousand-dollar GIC when dividing assets?   If you look at it from a depreciation point of view then the GIC is a better asset.

In the eyes of the Canada Revenue Agency, not all assets are equal. So, consider all the tax issues. A spousal RRSP cashed within the first three years will become income for the contributor rather than the recipient.

Make sure you have adequate health coverage. A visit to the dentist without coverage is expensive.

A divorce can put your best-laid plans to ruin. Focus on the future and make some good financial decisions.

Photo Credits: Eric Ward Bill Oxford Melinda Gimpel

The post Divorce From a Financial Perspective appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.