Some people blog for traffic. Some blog for brand deals. And then there are bloggers like Britt Kascjak.

Britt is one of the most refreshingly authentic voices in the online space. In a world that can feel heavy with criticism and quick judgment, she has chosen something radical: light. She believes that even in dark corners of the internet and society, love and acceptance can speak louder than hate.

Through her writing, Britt challenges stereotypes, normalizes self-expression, and creates safe spaces for people who have ever felt “different.” Her mission isn’t to fight hatred with more noise. It’s to overshadow it with understanding.

Britt, always a pleasure to interview a fellow blogger. Please tell my audience about you.

I am a 32-year-old digital marketer and music instructor in small-town Southern Ontario. I have been blogging on and off for over 10 years, starting with a craft/DIY blog a while back (it has since been taken down and no longer exists) and eventually reaching the point that I now not only run my own blogs but also offer freelance writing services. I live with my husband and our ‘pack’, which includes 2 dogs and 2 cats. We love traveling, camping, hiking, anything outdoors, and a good beer (my husband is a craft beer blogger). I teach with Canada’s longest continuously running community marching band, the Kingsville Essex Associated Band, while also playing saxophone with a local community band and a saxophone quartet, performing all over the Windsor/Essex area for events, festivals, weddings, and more.

What is an alternate lifestyle? To be honest with you, until you told me, I had no clue.

The alternative lifestyle started as a counter-culture, a rebellion against mainstream society. It includes anything that ‘bucks the norm’. For this reason, the term can have a different meaning for different people. Some people, for example, lump everything that is even ‘slightly different’ under this title including retro/pin-up culture, geek culture, goth culture, tattoo culture, etc. Others, however, are a little more specific, seeing the term ‘alternative’ as being associated with specific stylistic cultures including tattoos, piercings, punk, gothic, etc.

I believe it goes a step further than just one’s stylistic choices and interests. Alternative culture, for me, is about a corner of this world that is fully accepting without judgment. It’s about accepting that we have all have the right to creative and personal expression, and respect that (even if it’s not your style). For example, there are a lot of more extreme body modification options that people engage in such as pointing the ears to represent elf ears or splitting the tongue. Those, honestly, aren’t my cup of tea. However, I fully respect the fact that they are for some people and I can genuinely appreciate the work that goes into making that happen. At the same time, my blue hair and tattoos may not be right for the next person, but I know going into a group in the world of alternative culture, that I don’t have to face judgment for it. They will respect me for me.

It’s about accepting the fact that everyone is an individual – and that is what makes this world such a fun, beautiful, and interesting place.

Do people look at you or treat you differently because of the blue hair, makeup, and tattoos?

As a society, we have come a long way in accepting self-expression and body modification. However, we still have a long way to go. I have had people stop me on the street to compliment or ask questions about my appearance, however, I’ve also been the recipient of some pretty hateful and judgmental comments and reactions. You learn to recognize that their hate isn’t a reflection of you, but rather a reflection of their own internal struggles. As soon as I made that shift in my way of thinking, I found myself responding differently. Today, I legitimately feel bad for those who live such a closed-minded life or who struggle so much with their own self-confidence that they project it onto others.

Is the lifestyle a rebellion against society or more a form of expression?

It is more a form of expression, but the two options aren’t mutually exclusive. For some, part of that ‘self-expression’ is actually the need to rebel against their past, their upbringing, or the closed-mindedness that they were raised to accept. I see this more in those who were raised in a very closed-minded or extreme religious setting. They start by rebelling against their parents, teachers, religious leaders, etc. by dressing differently, getting a tattoo or piercing, or dying their hair. However, this opens their eyes to 2 different things: their ability to express themselves in this way and, if they get into the right group of people, just how accepting the alternative culture can be. From there, it often grows into something more than rebellion.

Talk to me about your various blogs and what is your goal?

I currently run two very different blogs, each with its own distinct purpose:

AlternativelySpeaking.ca is an ‘alternative lifestyle’ blog. I cover many common topics including travel, pets, product reviews, and favorite recipes. However, there is a twist – everything on this blog is written through the lens of the alternative culture. For example, I recently published a guide full of patio ideas. Among the lounge chairs and patio umbrellas, there was also a skull rock sculpture, skull and crossbones windchimes, etc. On top of that, some of the most common topics on the blog are tattoos, piercings, rainbow hair, and discussion of the alternative culture as a whole. I hope that discussing and expressing it so openly on the blog as well as across all the corresponding social media accounts, that can help to normalize alternative culture and break down the barriers that lead to judgment.

UnapologeticallyYou.org is my newest blog. As someone who owns their own business in digital and social media marketing, I found that I had a growing number of bloggers asking me for advice about topics related to blogging and social media. I loved the idea of using my education and experience to help provide some trustworthy and factual information that can help others out, especially with a large amount of misleading or incorrect information that is circulating in the blogging community on a regular basis, but I didn’t want to flood Alternatively Speaking with these posts as that would take away from its initial purpose. Therefore, I decided the time had come to start a second blog focused specifically on helping bloggers, vloggers, influencers and content creators succeed.

I imagine you want to raise a family. Would you force your kids to follow this lifestyle?

I would definitely expect them to practice the acceptance that the lifestyle teaches, so that aspect, yes. However, as far as how they choose to express themselves, it is for them to decide. If I end up with a daughter who wants to embrace everything pretty pink and princesses, for example, then so be it. I will love and accept her for whatever she chooses. I believe this is the key to raising a generation that truly understands the concept of acceptance, love, and freedom from judgment. We have to start by demonstrating these qualities at home.

What does female empowerment mean to you?

There are many people who have taken the ‘female empowerment’ label to an extreme, trying to prove that women are the ‘superior sex’. Personally, I would love to see a world where TRUE equality exists. I don’t believe women should get any special or preferential treatment just as I would like to see the preferential treatment that is still aimed at men removed. Wages, promotions, hiring, etc. should be based 100% on qualifications and ability to do the job, with gender not playing into it. There are people who argue that men excel in some jobs because men are ‘stronger’, but there are strong women and there are weaker men. Rather than perpetuating gender stereotypes, I’d like to see ‘stronger people’ excel in these physical jobs. At the same time, if a man wants to embrace his compassionate side and teach at a preschool or become a nurse, power to him! Rather than fighting one another or trying to prove we are somehow ‘better’, let us build one another up and create a world that is truly based on equality.

I believe this is also incredibly important in the face of the changing views of gender. As a member of the LGBTQ+ community, I strongly believe that people should have the right to express their gender identity as they believe fits them individually. This breaks away from the traditional view of 2 distinct genders, which then further challenges our views of equality and empowerment. Those who identify as non-binary or gender-fluid should also have the same opportunities in life as those of us who do fall into one of the 2 known and accepted gender labels.

How are food, faith, family, and finance important to you?

I believe that true happiness in life involves finding a balance. Finding good health (perpetuated by good, quality, nutritional food), a solid financial foundation (eliminating unnecessary financial stress) will enable us to then focus our energy and attention on the things that bring us happiness and fulfillment such as our friends and family, finding our ‘purpose’ (career, volunteering, hobbies, etc.) and more. We need to create a life where we can crawl into bed each night with a smile on our faces knowing that, even in the face of adversity, we truly have many blessings.

The ’faith’ component is a little more challenging for me. I have always wrestled with my own views of faith, the concept of organized religion, and where I stand on it all. I do believe that we all need to have a belief in something, whether it’s a specific god, the concept of karma, or the belief that we can create happiness in this life because this life is all that we have. Unfortunately, throughout history, the idea of organized religion has often caused more harm than good and I have been on the receiving end of some serious judgment and hateful comments from those who claim to be religious. I was even informed that I am not welcome in one local church due to my appearance. For this reason, I am always careful to differentiate between faith and religion when this conversation comes up.

Tell me a good joke about the alternate lifestyle?

Totally corny, but it’s always made me laugh:

Did you hear about the guy with the misspelled tattoo? He says he has “No regerts”.

The post Britt Kascjak appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

Be a rebel on purpose.

When you think of a rebellious person, what comes to your mind? The dictionary has about 45 synonyms for the word rebellious. Fractious, anarchistic, bellicose, difficult, refractory, and seditious are some of the synonyms. The autonyms for rebellious are happy, obedient, compliant, and manageable.

I like to use the word out of the box thinking or approach rather than rebellious. When someone has a different method, approach,  or framework for the desired result or outcome is called an out-of-the-box approach or thinking. Every once in a while, we have to question the status quo. Be a rebel and ask questions.

2000 years ago, Jesus’s approach towards women was a classic out-of-the-box approach. Jesus never disgraces, belittles, reproaches, or stereotypes a woman. From the woman who touched his garment to healing Peter’s mother-in-law and Jairus’s daughter, asking to drink water from a woman at the well in Samaria, and his love for Mary and Martha. Martin Luther, through his writing, started the Reformation movement. Dr. Martin Luther King, Gandhi, and Nelson Mandela all brought unique and different methods of dealing with the issues they were facing. We would not have electricity today if Thomas Edison had not had an out-of-the-box approach. Finally, for our generation, Steve Jobs and Bill Gates, through Apple and Microsoft, have changed the way we do things. They asked questions.

Linda Breedlove is the author of Embrace the Change: Be A Rebel On Purpose. I talk to Linda about being a rebel on purpose.

Linda welcome. I want to know a little about you.

I have been married twice, I have 3 children, 2 sons, and one daughter. I was a happy child but had a domineering father and I married far too young the first time mainly to get away from home. I married the wrong men, they were much like my father, and I allowed that to change me to not believe in myself and my abilities. I had lost my self-esteem and any confidence that I had. It wasn’t their fault; it was mine for allowing it to happen. I really didn’t like myself, let alone love myself. It took me many years to realize that it was me that needed to change, changing husbands wasn’t going to do it. Several years ago, I changed my entire outlook on my life, including losing weight, getting myself healthy again with proper nutrition and exercise, and changing my attitude. I went back to my childhood to find out why I wasn’t happy and figured out that even though I had a good childhood, I was never encouraged to use my abilities and I was told that university was a waste of time for me because I would only get married and have children. I didn’t know what I wanted to do but I also wasn’t given the chance to find out. I rebelled when I was 18 but it was short-lived for my father told me that if I left home then, I wasn’t allowed to come back ever. Scary for a young girl to hear those words. My book is about my journey to health, happiness, and learning to love myself again.

When you get up in the morning, what motivates you. What is your why?

My morning begins at around 4 am, sometimes 3:30. I seem to have this inner alarm clock that tells me it’s time to get up and get my party started. Those are the words I use every morning because I believe every day is a celebration (now that I’m way over 60). I find that time of the morning such a wonderful time to collect my thoughts, get inspired, and write a few posts, work on my blog, and my podcasts. You ask what motivates me? I get motivated simply by being alone when it’s peaceful and there is no one to interrupt me. When it gets daylight early, I love to watch the sunrise, and when it’s still dark out, I look for the moon and the stars. I wasn’t always this inspired but I have learned that I am a force to be reckoned with, I have something in me that I need to tell the world. And I have been lucky enough with my first book that many other people have thought the same thing. My next book, ‘Dream Bigger Be a Rebel on Purpose’ is due for release this November.

So often the students that got A+ is still working for somebody, the B’s are toeing the line. The rebellious who got C’s, who thought outside the box are running companies, creating wealth and value. How does that correspond to your book, Embrace the Change, Be a Rebel on Purpose?

Interesting question. I wanted to add Rebel on Purpose to my titles because I feel that rebellion is purposeful action. I was rebelling against all my old beliefs and ways. I rebelled against the fact that I had lost my self-esteem and my confidence. Everything that I do now has a purpose to it whereas before I had no direction, no determination. I had no desires and goals and I had no idea how to change myself.

I began each day by telling myself I was worth every moment of change that I wanted to see in myself, little steps. It took me a few years, but I did change everything that I wanted. I tell people now that each day is a new beginning and if you screwed up the day before, so what! That was yesterday! Resume your little steps today and soon you will be headed in the direction of your desires.

By the way, I wasn’t a very good student as well. I was too much of a ‘daydreamer.’ I daydreamed about traveling to far off places. I used to lay in the grass and watch the clouds go by and see myself on a magic carpet flying all over the world. In school, my knuckles were rapped constantly because the teacher would catch me staring out of the window instead of doing my schoolwork. The teachers always put in the report cards that I had so much potential, but I wasn’t using it. They called me a daydreamer; I call it visualization.

You are the motivational voice for women. I am trying to empower and inspire women to live balanced lives. Talk to me about this motivational voice?

That was told to me by the woman who read my book before it was even published, and it has stuck ever since. I was honored and humbled that she said that, and I have tried to be that voice ever since. I only have my own journey, but I hope to be able to help other people understand that they don’t need to take as long as I did to find their passions and their purpose. If I can help one other person do that, I’m happy.

A lot of us finally figure out what we want when we grow up. I believe it is never too late. I personally got married in my 30s, had a kid in my late 30s, went back to MBA school in 40s and now trying to run a blog and podcast. Talk to me about your own process of growing up?

I am the eldest of 4 siblings and my mother worked. I was the one to make sure my siblings got home from school and picked up the youngest one from the sitters. I made sure that they did their homework before they went out to play. I learned to cook by the time I was 12. I made sure dinner was on the table for my father when he came home from work. (my mother usually worked later than he did) I knew how to be responsible. I knew that I had to be because they depended on I wasn’t happy being the responsible one all the time, but I knew I had to. I did help me to grow up quickly though. I spent most of my adult years being ‘the responsible one.’ I married too young and had 2 sons by the time I was 23. I knew I wanted something else, I just didn’t know exactly what it was back then. All I knew was that I wanted to travel and stop being the responsible one sometimes. That didn’t happen for many years.

I truly believe everything that happens to me is 10%. When I get up the next morning and ready to face the world that is 90%. I do not like to ask why me instead of what now and not be the victim. Walk with me as to how we need to react when life just knocks us down and sometimes throws a knock out punch.

One of the biggest lessons that I learned on my journey back to me was that I didn’t have to be responsible for everyone else around me. I wasn’t responsible for my husband. I wasn’t responsible for my children when they grew older. And I definitely wasn’t responsible for my siblings anymore.

I was tired of everyone else’s expectations of me. I have never taken on the victim’s attitude and I have always believed that I am responsible for everything that I do and every choice that I have made.

I am an extrovert. I love hugs, kisses, and feeling the human touch. Covid has been my night. Humans, we are made to connect with one another. What does isolation do to the human soul?

I have written many essays on covid19 and I believe deep in my heart that we as humans will learn a deep and valuable lesson from this calamity. The first few months of being in isolation unnerved me greatly. I think the feelings that I had were of desperation mixed with hope for the future. It was an agonizing time for me, and my writing helped me to stay positive and focused on the future. Most of us cannot handle being away from others for long periods of time. We are a race of social people; we need a human touch to keep our sanity. Connecting over social media works for a short time, but it’s that coffee with friends, that need for interaction, and most of all those hugs that are missed. I missed all of that. Social media, while I’m thankful we have it during this unprecedented time, can’t fill that void.

Change is difficult. Covid has changed our world forever. I want to know what is your advice on how to deal with change?

I love change, I try new things all the time. I feel that a lot of positives will come out of the pandemic. I had no idea how to change the things that I wanted to change in myself when I first began my transformation but I soon learned to list all my dreams, my desires, and my goals. I had many of them and it took me a few years to accomplish what I wanted to change. Each time I was able to cross something off my list, I realized that I could add something else to it. You see, change is never finite, it is always happening. When I finally realized that if I wasn’t happy with one of my changes, I could simply change it again. We do not have to stick with a change if we aren’t completely satisfied with it. I found out that if I worked on something daily, I could accomplish my goals for the change I wanted to see in myself. However, I also learned that by taking little steps in the direction that I wanted to go, I would get there eventually. I learned that one of the most important things to have is patience.

Women empowerment… what does it mean to you. What can society do better?

Women’s empowerment is very personal. Each one of us has something in us that we feel we need to change in order to become the woman we want to be. Society has told us that we must act in certain ways, dress in certain ways, be the model we see in fashion magazines. We must be the perfect parent, the perfect wife or we have failed. I see that not only with women, but I see it with men as well, however, I feel women tend to take it to heart more than men which makes the biggest difference. I think women feel things differently than men. I do see things changing slowly now but we have a long way to go. We need more powerful women in politics, in business and we need to see less discrimination in wages.

Women are often afraid to show their powerful side because they fear they might lose their femininity. Men need to stop treating women as inferior and treat them as equals.

I am a big believer in peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, forgiveness, compassion, love unconditionally, and acceptance. Do we have anything in common?

Absolutely my beliefs as well. However, many of us will speak about, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, and forgiveness. When it comes right down to it though, each one of those words comes from having compassion and being able to forgive. Forgiveness is a personal act. It is for our own peace to learn to forgive.

Loving unconditionally means we have reached that state.

As my wife battles cancer, I am focusing on gratitude, hope, and resilience. What advice do you have for my audience who are in the tunnel and right at the bottom of the peak?

I am so sorry to hear about your wife. My heart goes out to both of you. Each of us goes through different battles and it depends on how we respond to those events in our lives that make the difference. If we respond with negativity, we will be despondent all the time. Not that we always need to be positive, but we need to remember that our responses can make us or break us. We need to remember that there is always a glimmer of hope. You have it correct when you focus on gratitude and resilience as well. Gratitude equals happiness. Be in the moment, for tomorrow is never promised.

My mother used to sing this song all the time, Que sera, sera what will be, will be. She was the one that always told me that things happen for a reason, which may not be apparent to you right now.

Everything that happens though is making us stronger for the future. We never know what the future has in store for us and we never should be so arrogant to think that we do.

The post Linda Breedlove: Be A Rebel On Purpose appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.