Hollywood produced a powerful movie on women’s empowerment Erin Brockovich. Directed by Steven Soderbergh and released in 2000, the movie is based on the true story of Erin Brockovich, a single mother who fights against a corporate giant for polluting the water supply of a small town in California. The movie highlights the strength and determination of a woman who, despite all odds, emerges as a champion of justice.

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Straight out, It is a few years ago that I explored the unique gift in me. I recall a time almost a decade ago when a sales leader told me that I was not meant for sales because I was not following the so-called conventional or quintessential sales approaches. I won’t lie, I felt vulnerable because, on the contrary, I felt sales was my thing, and also because targets were getting accomplished.

Back then, sales used to be a mere game of “sell, push, & numbers,” and to increase their chances of making sales, reps would constantly reach out to potential clients to cover as much market as possible. But in the era of digital sales, revenue, and retention, this tactic lost more and more of its effectiveness and I gained to realize that my unique gift was the humanized way of doing sales, which had to do with connection building, collaboration, active listening, and solution selling.  Ironically, I discovered that my secret elements for not just monetization but also for my private life were transparency, genuineness, emotions, and empathy.

Help me understand what you do at Fuzia Talent. How do you empower women in this role?

I am the Head of Sales/ Business Head at Fuzia Talent, which works on connecting emerging businesses with On-Demand talent from our community of exceptionally skilled 5 million women coming from 30 different countries. Our mission is to promote and support women with economic independence, learning, and employment by offering them gigs that are relevant to their skills.

It is my responsibility to appropriately manage all of the sales department’s resources, and freelancers and support our team with their needs & aspirations. Overall, the goal is to assure “sustainable revenue growth by empowering businesses and women in our community” through performance analysis, learning and sorting challenges, etc. On top of that, for me, everything is centered on ensuring that we have the best resource for our clients, and this is only possible because we work towards constant learning, human-centric ideologies, and the psychological safety of our team and community members. Creating a culture of peer and reciprocal learning inside the “One Team-One Culture” framework’ is another aspect of my job apart from growing & supporting the community.

Women are amazing at sales because they build strong relationships, have intuition, listen to their gut feelings, and see the complexities in the deal. Please comment.

I believe men and women approach projects and business in different ways, and neither is incorrect; they are simply different. I also believe that not all men and women have the same flair.

Women, in my opinion, excel at sales because they cultivate strong relationships and comprehend the complexities of the problem. They also have a tendency to gain clarity by delving deeper into the problem’s surface while avoiding overly focusing on the traits that have become entrenched in our brains. I’ve also observed women with attentive ears, implying that dealing with objections comes naturally to many of us. Having said that, I believe the preceding points outweigh the concept of gut instinct.

I have been in sales all my life. I notice that women approach relationship-building differently than men. They share stories and delight in pulling out the details rather than getting straight to the point. Is this true?

I don’t think so. Sales have traditionally been a male-dominated environment (although the facts are changing now). As a result, a primitive, typical perception of a sales “man” appears to be a straightforward “guy,” whereas a typical perception of a stereotyped sales “woman” appears to be a “delightful charm”. 

Men and women approach conversations differently, and many conversations are dependent on the personality of the client we are meeting with. Sales is an intelligent game played by intelligent people. Nonetheless, who doesn’t enjoy a delightful story?

Help me understand what is your recommendation for sales leaders.

I feel every person associated with revenue generation talks about clients, solutions, fitment, etc, and these are most definitely incredibly important aspects. Although a lot of times people forget that sales are a high-pressure job and that it needs to be focused on the internal team’s psychological safety. Sales leaders assist their teams in learning client psychology but sometimes disregard their own teams’ sanity. 

If truth be told, I believe, if sales leaders start prioritizing their team’s mental health, this will be the most prominent growth factor.

Walk me through what are some of the intrinsic, skill sets and soft skills a woman needs to have to get into sales and what skills can be learned.

I believe that if you have the desire to learn something, you can learn it. My top 5 recommendations are:

1. Effective communication, which includes speaking clearly, actively listening, and using appropriate body language. To connect, the elements of effective communication are trust, respect, resolution, understanding, and empathy.

2. Solution mindset

3. Growth mindset 

4. Adaptability, resilience, and accountability 

5. Self-motivation, time management, promptness 

Talk to me about what women empowerment means to you.

Women are supported regardless of who they are, where they come from, or who else is present around them. It may not necessarily imply changing the entire world, but rather influencing one life at a time, whether it is raising awareness of another gender or supporting a woman.

“Women’s empowerment is the magic that happens when a woman recognizes her own identity, personality, and sense of belonging.” It occurs when a woman does not question her worth in a crowded place, office, board room, or even at home. It’s that lovely heaven of comfort where the power of their own decisions is in their own hands—the power that can never be taken away.

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Tiv Perfume recently launched a campaign called the Love Yourself Challenge, which is all about empowering women to love themselves, be all they can be and lead their best lives. The seven-step challenge encourages women to invest in their emotional wellbeing through self-love, and by giving themselves permission to have the things they want and deserve in life. I pose some questions to Cynthia who founded the firm and talks about women empowerment.

Cynthia, please tell me a little about yourself?

I’ve been in the fashion and beauty industry all my professional life as a model and then, at the age of 25, I became fashion coordinator at Kaufmann’s Department Store in Pittsburgh, my hometown. Kaufmann’s was the flagship store in the May Department Stores retail chain, now Macy’s.  Since that time, I was promoted to Fashion Director at the May Company Department stores in Cleveland.  From Cleveland, I moved to New York to become Director of Fashion and Beauty Marketing at Essence Magazine. I was recruited from Essence to the headquarters of Estee Lauder in Manhattan as a marketing director in the fragrance division.  After a number of years with Estee Lauder Company, I embraced my entrepreneurial spirit and developed my own fragrance line, Tiv … The Designer Fragrance of the Caribbean.

Let’s talk about Tiv Perfume. I have heard of French, Italian and Swiss perfumes. Never from the Caribbean. So, what is unique about your perfume and why should women buy it?

I moved to the Caribbean to create Tiv in its own environment.  While there were a number of local fragrances on many of the islands, there was no designer fragrance that represented the beauty, sunshine and exotic scents of the Caribbean.  For me, there was a simple solution.  Creating Tiv was the natural thing to do.  Tiv was successfully launched in the Bahamas and became a favorite with tourists from all over the world, as well as the locals.

Help me understand what is the Love Yourself Challenge all about and how does this empower women?

The Love Yourself Challenge is about empowering women to love themselves in the most profound way…by leading their best life. It’s about encouraging women to have confidence, strength, self-love, self-worth, and feel beautiful… to be successful in life, to LOVE their life. To live their dreams and achieve their goals, and not give them up to make sacrifices for others, as we women often do (for our families, kids, husbands, etc). As we get older, we let our dreams fade, and we give up on our joy. And as we fall out of love with our lives, we lose the motivation to care for ourselves. We’re so busy and stressed that we stop looking after our health and our emotional wellbeing.

We want to make sure women everywhere know it’s okay to look out for themselves and focus on self-love, that they have the power to turn their life around and start truly LOVING their life, and loving themselves. Because that’s the most critical aspect of your life… We aren’t truly whole or happy unless we love ourselves fully.

Walk me through the seven-step process?

The seven steps of the Love Yourself Challenge focus on:

1. It’s time to live your dreams and start doing the things you’ve ALWAYS wanted to do. Before, it’s too late.
2. Use affirmations instead of negative self-talk. We criticize ourselves every day, thinking things and saying things when we look in the mirror that we would NEVER say to a loved one. So why are we saying them to ourselves?!
3. Make rest and relaxation a necessity in your life, and learn how to figure out your most productive times during the day. It is critical we rest during our natural “down-times”, and not only for our health but in order to be our happiest and most successful.
4. Learn the importance of building quality relationships with friends that inspire you and encourage you to be the best person you can be. Remember, you directly reflect the people you hand out with the most.
5. How to start loving keeping your body healthy and fit. If you don’t love exercise, you’re not doing the right type of exercise for you!
6. Achieving your goals is the key to leading a fulfilling life. But your goals and dreams will never become a reality if you don’t get clear on what EXACTLY you want to achieve, map them out, break them down into steps, and start taking action.
7. How to find a creative practice. Giving yourself permission to take the time to be joyfully creative is one of the most profound ways to love yourself.

Why did you launch this challenge? Is it more a marketing gimmick or sincerely helping women?

The reason we launched the Love Yourself Challenge is because, as women, we know what women struggle with the most, and we wanted to do something that had the potential to truly change women’s lives. Something truly, deeply meaningful. Something that would make a profound impact on women across the nation, even around the globe, if we can spread our challenge wide enough. The Love Yourself Challenge aims to help women from all walks of life and all aspects of the struggle, to live the life they deserve. To live happily, healthily, and meaningfully. To love their bodies and their reflection. And to live their dreams.

Our only dream for the Love Yourself Challenge is that any woman who has found value and impact from the challenge share it with their friends and family, to help us change as many women’s lives as possible, on the largest scale we can.

What does women’s empowerment mean to you?

Women empowerment, to us, means encouraging women to be leaders in their lives. To be in the driver’s seat of your own joy, your own success, your own body, your own voice, your own path.

Young women all over the world want to make a career in the beauty and cosmetics industry. Please give me a couple of tips?

Like any other career, one must first have a natural affinity … were you in front of the mirror as a youngster, loving fashion magazines instead of comic books, at the mall in the boutiques and cosmetics counters, etc? If one has that innate sense, then it may well be for you. It’s a wonderful, competitive and satisfying industry full of energy and people who love what they are doing.

Please explain where you live, the city, food, restaurants, culture and why should we visit?

Southeast Florida is the perfect place to be outside of Manhattan for anyone interested in fashion, beauty, lifestyle, and sunshine. I live in Delray Beach which 50 years ago was a great beach town. Over the years, it has grown to within inches of its boundaries. But fondly enough, over and above some of the other rival historic beach towns in the area, Delray Beach remains a great beach town… It’s remarkable! The shopping district is alive with eclectic shops, restaurants, boutique hotels, art galleries, live entertainment, and casual culture.

The corporate offices are in Boca Raton, a relatively small city with an international reputation for excellence. It has more corporate headquarters than any other city in the state of Florida. And yet, you’re close enough to the beach to have lunch overlooking the surf and get back to the office.

Share with my audience something challenging you have been through. What did you learn and how did you come out on the other side thriving?

Tiv perfume is The Designer Fragrance of the Caribbean. Therefore, we have always had a Caribbean home. We relocated the company from the Bahamas to the U.S. Virgin Islands 20 years ago. However, when we made the decision to make online sales our first priority, we had to move to the mainland to accommodate the demands of high-speed internet capability, shipping, fulfillment and talent. The first challenge was where to relocate. And we couldn’t be more pleased with the decision to move the company to Boca Raton. The infrastructure, vibrant business community and the people make it the perfect move. But two things were happening – relocating and completing changing our direction from retail to online sales and marketing. We still maintain a marketing and promotional presence in St. Thomas, but all major company activity is in Boca Raton.  We learned that the major challenge in such a major move is research.

I am sure you lead a hectic life. How do food, faith, finance, and family come together for you?

You can imagine the answer to this question is, “It’s a challenge.” First, I try to take advantage of the markets that sell fresh vegetables, fruits, and seafood for meals at home. The area is remarkably business-friendly which is a plus for building a financial future both personally and for the company. My family and old friends are scattered but visit often. As for my faith, I wake up every morning with a prayer to acknowledge the blessings of strength, courage, and good health. Life is good.

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Corinne Woo from Matchaqb, who writes about project management and personal growth talks to me about how to motivate an introvert.

What is Matchaqb all about?

I know everyone is capable of removing their mental roadblocks to create. Matchaqb intertwines personal growth with creativity.  I share tips and tricks that I have embraced through my active journey in experimenting with self-development. I have a lot of fun writing, talking to people about their own personal growth, and that is what drives me to write about how to motivate an introvert.

What is the “Create with Authenticity” video series about?

As creators, ideas come to us, newly born and full of hope. It is crazy, but our minds are wired to criticize and doubt our ability to create. We have the choice to either battle the mental barriers or let the newly born ideas go. In other words, I created this series in hopes of inspiring others to take control over burnout, time management, fear of failure, and authenticity to create their ideas. In this series, I invited a passionate jewelry designer and artist, Giovanna Ngai, to discuss her ability to create with confidence and authenticity. I enjoyed interviewing her and it helped me as an introvert.

How did you start your blog?

It all started with a supportive team of open minds, ready to try out my ideas which helped me build enough confidence to begin this blog. While I volunteered at Mon Sheong, a non-profit organization, I was given the chance to share my ideas in marketing and logistics for a trip to China. When these ideas took flight and made an impact, it dawned on me that my ideas are valuable, that I could create a blog to help others realize their potential as well through sharing personal growth ideas. I like to say that blogging is a team sport because of the endless support I receive from collaborators, coworkers, family, and friends.

What motivates you to keep up with blogging and creating videos?

My first video was a complete flop. I knew it when I received an influx of negative feedback. As a result, it hit me hard as I was making corrections and I was not sure if I wanted to continue down that route.

When my energy hit an all-time low, my sister shared a post. Clobbering me over the head with tough love: Your first video will be awful, but you can’t make your 50^th without making your first. I then realized I learned so much as an active blogger and video editor and that there will be many firsts laced with failures. And that It will only get better with practice. I am more than excited to see how far Matchaqb will grow from here if I continue putting in the work, trying new things, and rolling with the punches (lessons).

New mindset:

I am constantly parallel parking throughout my life. As a result, I am perpetually embarrassed but inching closer to my dreams. In addition, I embrace all feedback.

Your blog is filled with wellness tips, what are your top self-care habits?

Alone Time | Meditation | Dragon Boat

Alone Time (JOMO) – Not many people know this about me because I come off bubbly and full of energy at work, with friends and family, and at networking events… I enjoy spending copious amounts of time on my own. It helps me slow down and listen to myself as I reflect. In these moments, I learn more about myself, laugh at my own dad jokes and spawn new ideas.

Meditation – Before the morning rush begins, I prepare with a moment of stillness. Dedicating this sliver of time to consciously clear my mind, remove distractions, and repeat self-affirmations. Meditation helps me to remain focused and calm. Now I find that whenever I hit a metaphorical speed bump after meditation, I can muster up calmness and continue cruising through the day. It definitely has become a trend and I have seen people shy away from it because of that. However, I have also witnessed my friends benefit from this practice and they tout how they are gaining control over their stress levels.

Dragon Boat (@holyshipdb) – I like combining my social and physical activities through Dragon Boat just to be efficient. Joining the Holyship team meant surrounding myself with highly motivated and supportive people. After experimenting with volleyball, ultimate frisbee, rock climbing, dance, and tennis, dragon boat stuck! I was lucky to find a sport that feeds both my competitive nature and an inner social butterfly and we will be competing starting in May.

Who is your inspiration?

Marie Forleo. She approaches work and life with an authentic and entrepreneurial flair on Marie TV which inspires so many to do the same.

Instead of fitting ourselves into a box, she reminds us that we don’t need to restrict our personalities to what we believe we should be. Her main message encourages all creators to grow and cultivate their multiple passions. I love that at the end of each video, she declares “The World Needs that Special Gift that Only You Have!”

What do you enjoy most about blogging?

Writing! I was not sure if this was my passion at first but I had ideas to share. Through my fascination with words as an avid reader, writing became my number one creative outlet. I am able to move into the “state of flow” when expressing myself through writing. Everything seizes to matter at that moment. At that moment, I lose track of time, and suddenly the urge to check social media and other distractions disappear.

Fun Fact: I was so terrible at writing in high school that I was given a tutor for a crash course on grammar. So, for anyone who thinks they are not good enough to start, trust me, you are. It took many years of practice but I am able to enjoy expressing myself through writing and sharing through blog posts now. It helps me as an introvert to put myself out there.

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An important quote to empower your daughter by Amy Tenney.

‘The world needs strong women. Women who will lift and build others, who will love and be loved. Women who live bravely, bother tender and fierce. Women of indomitable will.’

Jean had been accepted as an intern for 8 weeks in a nonprofit in another city. It was the first day of her work and I was dropping her off at the train station. It was a two-hour ride to another city. She would work from Tuesday to Saturday and be living with someone.

My heart was in my mouth. As I came back to the car, my wife was crying. She was scared.

Jean was confident, excited, and looking forward to this new adventure. She is only 17.

It is 2021. There is a tectonic shift away from patriarchy. Women are detaching themselves from stereotypes and creating their own unique path to success, happiness, and existence on their terms. The question I have for parents. Are you ready to support and empower your daughter as she navigates the 21^st century?

Here I lay down some words of advice on how we can empower our daughters, build confidence, create healthy self-esteem and cultivate motivation. An empowered daughter is secure in herself, takes action, makes positive choices about her life, and does positive things for other people. She thinks critically about her environment, expresses her feelings, and acknowledges the feeling of others.

I want Jean to be unique, self-reliant, fearless, and confident that she can achieve whatever she sets her mind to. Remember your daughter is barraged by the media that is all about her looks and weight. This negative message is a hindrance to her achieving her destiny. The stimuli damage their self-esteem and make them feel inadequate. As a parent, you need to compliment her ethics, values, morals, ideals, and talents not just looks.

‘Character. Intelligence. Strength. Style. That makes beauty.’ – Diane Von Furstenberg

Empower your daughter by loving her unconditionally

I love Jean unconditionally. I give her hugs and am affectionate toward her. I always tell her ‘I love you.’ Since the beginning, I have always made time for her. I went to her graduation, dance practices, volleyball games, and date nights. We always spend quality time playing games, watching movies, and talking. One area where I needed to get better was talking to her rather than lecturing her. It is important for parents to love their daughters unconditionally and not based on performance.

Be authentic and vulnerable with her

Try being human, real, vulnerable, and authentic around your daughter. Humans make mistakes. Admit your own weaknesses and mistakes. Communicate what you learned from those mistakes. Your daughter will make mistakes. Let her know it is part of life.

Stick to your promises

Never say you will be somewhere or take her somewhere if you will not be there. Just be open and direct about your schedule. It will help her not be disappointed.

Empower your daughter with encouragement and less discipline

Discipline is important. However, it needs to be done with love, encouragement, and focus on the outcome of discipline. If your daughter is always late or is not telling the truth, then you need to deal with it. Talk openly about how you overcame obstacles and challenges and how it was the discipline that got you through. Talk about her being late is a lack of respect for other people and how her actions impact other people.

Do not live your life through your daughter

Your daughter is unique. She was born at a different time. The biggest mistake you can make is living your life and dreams through her. This will create bitterness and anger in her. You have to find out what she is passionate about. Match her skills, and strengths with her activities. The biggest gift you can give your daughter is to allow her to be herself. It was important for her to make constructive choices about her life.

I love soccer and swimming and wanted Jean to do that. At age 4 she said she loves art and dancing. She has been doing that for thirteen years. She has thrived in expressing herself.

Do not shove your culture down her throat

If you were born in another country, it is important that you appreciate why you moved and the positive aspects of the new country. Introduce your culture to her, but also let her embrace the new culture also.

Empower your daughter by asking for her opinion

‘No one can make you feel inferior without your consent’ – Eleanor Roosevelt

As your daughter becomes a teenager she will become aware of herself, her feeling, and her thoughts. She is wired to communicate. It is a season of so much physical and emotional change surrounded by social media. It is a delicate time of being insecure. Talk to her about her opinions on different issues and listen to understand.

Help her to have healthy boundaries

I told Jean early on that she does not have to be liked by everyone or become the most popular only to lose herself. She needs to be aware of her feelings, emotions and not agree to something that goes against her ethics and moral values. This is very important otherwise you are setting her up to be codependent.

She needs to move past her comfort zone

‘I say if I’m beautiful. I say if I’m strong. You will not determine my story. I will.’ – Amy Schumer

In order for your daughter to grow, she needs to get out of her comfort zone. She should be encouraged to take risks and follow her passions. We can learn a lot from them.

She needs to be exposed to strong female role models

One of the things I did like about the internship was that not only was she working with women from Montreal and Paris but she would be trained by women from Hamilton, Ottawa, Newmarket, Halifax, and from the States. She saw female leaders in action. She participated in many activities where she was valued and it increased her sense of self and confidence.

Identify values that are important to the family

Jean knows that it is important to have meals together, spend quality time together, and also have times where we sit and talk. She knows our family values.

Travel with her

I have taken Jean to Cuba, Mexico, Dominican Republic, Costa Rica, Panama Canal, Belize, Honduras, New York, Montreal, Halifax, Ottawa, and Frankfurt. The exposure is great for her as she sees different cultures, food, and ways of doing things. It opens her mind.

Volunteer as a family

‘People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But, people will never forget how you made them feel.’ – Maya Angelou

Jean has volunteered with me in Cuba in visiting schools and homes. In Toronto, she helped me greet people for a non-profit center. This is bonding time to show her that there is more to life than social media and that a lot of good can come out of volunteering.

Do not solve her problems

The goal is to create an independent, empowered woman and not a co-dependant. Your daughter needs to solve her own problems and issues. This will help her develop coping skills and strategies to deal with situations in life. There may be times when you disagree with your daughter but it gives her a sense of control and she needs to take responsibility for her decisions.

It is ok to disagree

‘The woman who follows the crowd will usually go no further than the crowd. The woman who walks alone is likely to find herself in places no one has ever been before.’ – Albert Einstein

When you raise an independent, empowered girl, it also means you have to live with her. She has to stand up for herself and learn how to do it in the future. She needs to stick with her convictions and not be a people or crowd-pleaser.

Know the difference between glamour sex and healthy sex

At some point, you have to talk to your daughter about sex. She needs to be aware of it. Also, the difference between sex in the media and in real life. She needs to know the difference between sex in the movies and what sex is in a loving caring relationship with emotions, feelings, intimacy, and unconditional love.

Help her to appreciate food

It is important to give your daughter fresh and healthy food. She will appreciate fresh fruit, fresh vegetables, salads, fresh meats, and dairy. Keep fast and processed food away from her.

The importance of money

You do not want your daughter to go to college or university and have no clue about money. From an early age, I taught Jean what is debit and credit. I taught her how money works. A few months back, she sat down with my financial adviser at the bank who gave her the basics of a savings account, checking account, mutual funds, credit card, and how to save money. Your daughter needs to respect money.

The post Empower Your Daughter appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

I admire stay-at-home-moms. They have one of the most important jobs in the world. William Wallace, in his famous poem, talks about the hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world. Do we give enough credit to stay-at-home moms?  Do we give enough credit to moms? T.D. Jake talks about the influence a mother has on her child. She understands her child’s language and sets the garden for the child to grow, flourish, and become empowered.

Charlotte Petit Noble is a business coach, blogger, and podcaster. She is on a mission to empower stay-at-home moms to start and grow a profitable online business in 90 days or less with ease, clarity, and confidence without sacrificing their uniqueness and family life in the process. I like a lot of things that Charlotte stands for in her personal and professional life. I ask her a little about herself and the qualities one needs to be an entrepreneur.

Charlotte, please explain when you say ‘I promote simple and intentional living, working with passion’?

Less is more. For a long time, I made things complicated in my life, but since I came to the U.S. ten years ago, I decided to explore another way of living: simple and more intentional. I stopped comparing myself to others and became more mindful of my thoughts and actions. I always believed in the power of my mind, and that the Universe has my back, but I really never uncovered the ins and outs until I came to the U.S. and had no other choice. My slate was clean, and no one knew me yet. I chose to make the most of it.

In a way, my subconscious prepared me to become a mom someday.

When you become a mom, you have no more time for fluff. Suddenly, time accelerates, and you realize that life is short. Too short to waste your time and energy on things that do not serve your body, mind, and soul. My way of overcoming the fear of missing out with my family and my business, toward my goals. Living with passion allows me to be present and avoid all distractions that a highly connected mom has during one day.

I set boundaries and I keep my promises to others but, most importantly to myself.

Parisian food is important to you. Talk to me about food in your family?

Believe it or not, food has never been a big concern of mine. But what’s true is that I make the time to choose and cook products that will make my family healthy, energized, and happy.

I cook a little bit pretty much every day; I like fresh products. COVID-19 makes it challenging to go grocery shopping every two days, but we found a way that works for us. On Friday, my husband goes to the store, and I cook during the weekend for the rest of the week. I batch so I can keep things under control during the weekdays when I have less time to do so.

I am not a typical French in the sense that I don’t eat cheese, no meat either, and no bread at all. My husband and son do, though, and I am happy to cook for them.

Was moving to LA challenging? What do you like about LA?

I love challenges. When we moved to LA 10 years ago, I did not speak English at all. It was enough of a challenge for me to accept to follow my husband.

I had to quit my corporate job, but that was easy as I felt like I could not grow anymore there.

My plan was to learn English and look for another corporate job that will satisfy my ambition. Nothing happened the way I planned, although I did learn English and fell in love with the language. I did not even think that I could love English that much.

The biggest challenge came right after I knew how to speak English: the job hunt! See I had a wife visa that did not allow me to be hired. Bummer! So I fight. I fight to be hired and find the company that will give me a visa. The Universe had other plans for me, and I followed them.

I became my own boss and started an online business. I freelanced a lot at first. Then I build several businesses. I even went back to school and became a hairstylist. I had big successes and huge failures. I am grateful for all of them because I would not be where I am, who I am, and with who I am without all these experiences.

I see the family is important to you. I want to know about your family and what are some of the important things to keep family together and engaged?

I have known my husband for the past 19 years. We met when I was 16. We have been married for the past 8 years and had our first baby last year in 2019. I said “first baby” because we want more.

Since we met, our love for each other has never stopped growing. It is exponential. We are good people in general, but together we are great. We are a great team that keeps expanding.

One of the things I think keeps us together is that we don’t talk about our work. We support each other when needed. We celebrate our successes. We respect each other decisions, but when we are together, we choose to leave the work hassle out of the house.

We decide to be together to be present for one another. Work is work and when we are together we make the most of it.

I am the one who brings everyone together at home. I am pretty darn proud of it. I am the number one support for our son during the weekdays, which allows me to watch him grow, and that’s the most awesome show I’ve ever watched.

Routines are a big part of our life. I believe I could not do it all without our rituals. It’s like dancing around our life. Routine makes it simpler and easier for us to enjoy each other presence.

I am a big believer in empowering women with their finances. Talk to me a little about this concept?

Absolutely agree with your statement. I believe most women have limiting beliefs and blocks when it comes to money. Depending on your education, there are still beliefs that hold women back from making the money they deserve.

Money and finances are a big part of how we, as women, feel about ourselves. It has a huge impact on our ability to feel confident and overcome the imposter syndrome that holds most of us back to accomplish more and earn more.

Money has become the number one way for most of us to feel recognized.

Owning a business involves work. What are some of the qualities one should have to be successful in online business?

Flexibility is my number one tip. Chaos will happen, no matter what. Controlling what we can’t control is a huge mistake. It drains our energy down, and it makes us unhappy. The only way out of it is to go with the flow and enjoy the process along the way. We all come from the same place, and we all go to the same destination.

Time-management is my number two, and even more when you are a mom. That’s one of my favorite topics. I believe that you don’t need to work crazy hours to build a successful business, and I want all moms to know it. Anything is possible with a little organization, dedication, and of course, passion.

Last but not least, focus. Celebrate others’ successes, but keep moving forward toward your own goals. It’s not a sprint; it’s a marathon. Your uniqueness makes the road you take unique. Get inspired by others, but never compare your pace and successes to others. This will save you time, energy, and headaches.

How has marriage and motherhood changed your life?

Totally for the best. I am becoming my best version, thanks to my marriage and motherhood. I explore new awesome things in my life, thanks to my husband and my son.

Love has become exponential and life has been much more fun and interesting since marriage and motherhood happened.

My marriage and motherhood have made me complete. It is not just about me anymore. It’s about finding harmony, dancing under the rain, and loving being wet.

It is messy and chaotic sometimes but I love our mess and chaos. Overall that’s my best way to live my life.

I want to know how you define woman empowerment?

To me, woman empowerment is allowing every woman on Earth to live their life fully. It’s to allow them to be themselves and follow their wildest dreams knowing that anything is possible. Women are resourceful, and they need to know and embrace their superpower.

The post Empowering Stay-at-Home Moms appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

I find writing cathartic. I love writing about empowered women because women make up fifty percent of the population. The writing community has embraced me, and I love interacting with them.

In the first interview, I talked to Jamie Weil about her mission, vision, youth mental health, balance, and creating sacred spaces in our lives. In the second interview, we talked about bipolar depression, spirituality, and being in a mixed marriage. In the third and final interview, we talk about writing and women’s empowerment.

Jamie Weil lives in Cottonwood, California. She writes everywhere. She has identified as a writer since third grade when her teacher sent her poem “Red” to the Record Searchlight and they published it. She has written for the children’s educational market, the adult non-fiction market, and has worked as a journalist, second-grade teacher, and mom. Her YA novel, First Break, was released on World Mental Health Day, 10/10/18. Her second YA novel “Intuition” was published almost exactly a year later on 10/2/19. She is currently in post-production on the pilot episode of “A Crazy Thought,” a groundbreaking docuseries on youth mental health and suicide which she is creating with a team of amazing award-winning female filmmakers.

Jamie, the writing community is an amazing community. I am enjoying interacting with them. What is different and unique about writers?

Oh my yes! I am so excited to have found this group on Twitter. They are teaching me in such a kind and gentle way how to interact in that space which I really haven’t understood up until now. Honestly, I get lost in the conversations where there are more than one @ and wonder “are you talking to me or?” I’m loving it though and I actually got a “trigger finger” on one #writerslift because I was so excited to finally interact! I had to go get X-rays, chiropractic, acupuncture, the whole nine! It still hurts and that was a month ago. Who knew Twitter with writers could cause injury?

Writers are the best. They are so observant and I love the way they tap into the ether to bring stories into consciousness. I love to watch the choices of medium they choose, their process, how they choose to put themselves into the world. They’re also very brave because when we write we pour out a piece of our souls for the world to see whether intentionally or not. I can sit and talk with writers for hours. I especially love the banter of television writers who write comedy because their minds are so quick and bounce off each other in such fun ways.

I feel like I’ve only touched the tip of the iceberg with the writer’s community. I am looking forward to digging so much deeper. I’ve even started keeping a notebook of my favorite @peeps. You’re in there, by the way.

Thanks for choosing me as one of your favorites. Art imitates life. Do you write from your own experiences?

Not usually in works for hire, but certainly in my young adult novels. My best writing has always come from that space. Sometimes tangentially, sometimes directly. For example, First Break was really from a space of watching closely what is happening in a psychotic break when my son was young but then seeing it over and over from various angles in other’s lives. Paige, the protagonist, is 17 because when I started that book, I had gone to a seminar at UCLA on the Lanterman-Petris Act which says that once a minor turns 18, they are in charge of their own decisions. However, a very common time for a psychotic break is this age transition and when one is in a psychotic break, their mind isn’t working well enough to make those decisions. Both men who made that law were there and said they had never intended for the horrible fall out that was happening from that law. In that case, I was very preoccupied with the stories I was hearing of young people lost in state hospitals due to the very privacy laws that were happening and leaving them super vulnerable.

In the case of Intuition, which was my second young adult novel published in 2019, this was based on my direct experience of having a babysitter who was a serial killer, tried to pick me up on the day of his last kill, and eventually was brought to trial (with my stepdad defending him as the Public Defender and calling me to testify), then executed on California’s death row at San Quentin. In that case, art definitely imitated life with the ability to push the time frame into contemporary and think about how technology may have affected that outcome differently.

In Chasing Sacred Spaces, I will definitely be writing from my own experience and that is non-fiction so the boundaries are different.

You are a filmmaker. The impact of visual art is totally different from written art. Do you notice the difference?

Completely different, especially in the area of documentary filmmaking. I came to filmmaking as the means to an end. I answered a calling centering around shifting the landscape of youth mental illness and suicide, beginning with youth. The calling was to use visual media that could reach more people, to make a movie that would make a movement. But like I said earlier, I had the issue that I was not a filmmaker and barely knew how to use my Iphone to take video. 

It was yet another education, but I feel like thinking through an interview with the film is similar to what you’re doing here. You put together a list of questions you think will guide the interviewee to tell their story in a way that relates to the whole. Then you have an additional step (about 100 additional steps) to think through and make a shortlist of how the story will be visually told. It was quite overwhelming at first and VERY expensive so you don’t want to mess up. It’s much more collaborative than the written word in that you have sound, camera people, writer, director, producer, talent, etc. and all those pieces need to be coordinated. It’s really hard to do them all yourself though I know people who do because it’s cheaper and less frustrating in many ways. But the magic of filmmaking is when you watch from concept to finished product and you put out a piece that really moves people. When the quarantine hit, filmmakers were locked down and couldn’t work, taking away this beautiful immersive medium that I personally so enjoy collectively experiencing in a theater. My husband and I see several movies per week. We have been really missing this during the pandemic. I called my executive producer on a docuseries we’ve been working on the past few years called “A Crazy Thought” and we brainstormed how to edit some of that footage into a few pieces that would really help people during the quarantine. We put together shorts called “Social Distancing Together – for the health of it -,” put them on Facebook and Instagram TV (IGTV) as a gift to the world. We couldn’t have done that with books in that immediate timing.

The written word, however, is my happy place. I have written over 50 journalistic articles, blogged on three different blogs with 300K words, over the past ten years, and have written 8 traditionally published books. I love to sit in my big red chair in my home office and write stories about causes, people, places, ideas, passions, food, wine, adventures, and ways I see the world. I love to play in different genres. From the moment my first poem “Red” was published when I was 7, I was hooked on writing for an audience, and in so doing, I could connect with them in some way.

Jamie, as a writer what does women empowerment, mean to you?

I think I covered this above in my novella, but basically it means listening to women’s voices. It means scooting over and making room at the table in real ways. It means understanding the “Me Too Movement” could only happen in a container that resembles a Gilead-like world so dramatically portrayed in The Handmaid’s Tale. Nearly every woman I know, including myself, have been sexually molested, assaulted, discriminated against, harassed both subtly or overtly at work, date raped, and so on. It’s just never-ending. Binary cultures have formed undercurrents where no matter how progressive a partnership may look, there is often still an underlying expectation that the woman will take care of the meal planning, shopping, cooking, cleaning, kids, and hold down a job or whatever else needs to be done. In same-sex partnerships, partners are presented with these dynamics as well, but somehow, they seem more balanced than the hetero partnerships I have seen.

Women empowerment, then, means having the resources, the voice, the stance to be in the world in a way where one’s gifts can shine, be used, be compensated in the same way men are. It means that women are addressed more like in indigenous matriarchies as the wise intuitive beings that are and less like all they have to offer are their bodies, their looks, and their ability to give birth and cook for the tribe. 

Recently, I’ve seen some very authentic deep conversations between women about women that I feel very excited about. Many women have “women issues,” but it is not ladylike to talk about these so historically they haven’t. However, as my son and daughter-in-law have taught gender studies over the years, I’ve had an opportunity to understand this both intellectually as a construct and personally in my own journey with sabotaging women. In Village of Oak Creek, near Sedona, it hit me on the women’s hat: Empowered Women Empower Women. The ones who don’t sabotage out of fear or retreat. We need to begin by empowering our girls early on with different education than they get now. We need to keep honest and open conversations about this topic between women on the surface and recognize that we have been trained to NOT talk about this. We need more allies like you in this space to pick up the cause, open the conversation, and get this party started because once enough women feel empowered, I truly believe we will be living on a much more peaceful planet.

Finally, what kind of music do you listen to when you write?

I always have a water feature nearby and am listening to that. Recently, I have been listening to this compilation soundtrack given to me that is supposed to activate and release flow. I think it works because that was what I was listening to when I wrote Chasing Sacred Spaces in a weekend.

Thank you so much Jerry for inviting me to your blog. I hope I didn’t write too much. I can’t believe we didn’t even get to the food!

The post Empowered Women Empower Women appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

Amarilla Nirmala is the co-founder and Chief Marketing Whizz of WeDO5, based in Vienna, Austria. WeDO5 believes in the power of women, especially women who want to make a difference. The focus is on female-led impact start-ups, that not only create businesses that make money but also push the status quo to be more ethical, transparent, and create equal opportunities. They support female entrepreneurs, who are driven to establish long-term business solutions.

WeDO5 contributes to the value chain in the start-up ecosystem through community building. They are the first yes for early-stage Startup-founders and offer support from idea generation to conception until growth and internationalization.

Amarilla has years of experience in executing and developing marketing strategies in the UK and Dubai. I am a big believer in start-ups. It is small businesses that are the growth engine of the economy and that create jobs. I talk to Amy about her life in Vienna and what she wants her legacy to be with female entrepreneurs.

Amy welcome, I want to know a little about you?

Hi, I am Amy; I am an Indonesian living in Austria. I have lived in 4 different countries in the past 12 years. I have 2 kids, and currently am a social entrepreneur. I have several businesses that focus on giving back to the community as a business model. I love cooking, gardening, paddling, and in my spare time, I love to play a tourist in my own city.

Talk to me about your social entrepreneurship and what WeDO5 is all about?

WeDO5 is the new name of KulturenReich (German words for Culturally Rich). We started as a social initiative focusing on immigrant women and Austrian women with migrant backgrounds. Austria is a rich country. Vienna has won the #1 city with the best living quality for several years in a row. However, for many foreigners, they find difficulties in starting their professional life again upon residing in the city. Most of them spend years to fully integrate, mostly because of language capability, and tight competition.

KulturenReich focused on empowering foreign-born women to be professionally successful and financially independent, through various activities such as workshops, focus groups,  and on the job training.

In 2020 we changed our name from KulturenReich to WeDO5, the number 5 stands for the fifth point of SDG by the UN, gender equality. We are now focusing on women impact entrepreneurs, those who aren’t only making money but also giving back to the community.

Help me understand mental health and your group Sahabat Jiwa?

Sahabat Jiwa (means soulmate in Indonesian), is a project that basically started in 2013 by my partner Anya. In 2019 I joined the organization as I believe I need also to give back to Indonesia, my home country. Mental health is a sensitive issue where people with problems receive stigma and often they also don’t realize they have issues. We provide literacy about it, and free consultation for young adult Indonesian people with mostly SES C- and below. The consultants are professionals with license, so even though free of charge but it is reliable. However, we do not accept life-threatening or emergency cases.

I want to know a little about the city you live in, the food and the culture?

I’ve been living (again) in Vienna since 2017. I came here in 2011, but moved to different countries in 2013, came back here in the middle of 2017, and found out the city has been changing quite fast!

Vienna is a classical city with beautiful landmarks and parks everywhere. The size isn’t big but very convenient as many things are easily reachable by public transportation.

What I like about the food here is that we have high standards, from eggs till meat, vegetables till desserts!

We try to buy our food from organic farms, and meat from local Austria as it provides certain standards and quality. We are quite concerned about where we get our food from. Things like how the animals slaughtered, how the chicken that produces eggs, what kind of banana we have, how sustainable the honey is, etc. And I must say that many people here are also thinking the same.

What does women empowerment mean to you and how is the modern Indonesian woman different from a few decades ago?

When people think about Indonesia, they think about the exotic paradise Bali, and it is a Muslim country. The fact is, Indonesia has the biggest Muslim population, but we aren’t a Muslim country. Since I was a child, I grew up reading some powerful and inspiring Indonesian women, such as Christina Martha Tiahahu from Moluccas province, or Cut Nyak Dien from Aceh province who bravely led an army to fight colonialism.

My mother, she was also a career woman, independent but also a loving mother. She worked in a British bank with high responsibility, oftentimes she came home late. But in the morning she was the first who wakes up, prepared stuff for my father and us, the kids. She didn’t have a me-time at all, because she spent her time caring for others.

This isn’t bad but she should have taken good care of her life too! So if we are talking about empowerment in Indonesia, it isn’t about women not getting an education or being forced to marry at a young age (although this is also still some cases in several provinces), but moreover about less judgment to women. Let them choose what they feel right. We still expect women to perfectly manage all aspects of their lives. People still expect women to do everything from cleaning the house and raising the child. Household responsibility needs to be shared. People need to be less judgmental to women who are still single.

Tell me a little about your role as a mentor in micro-entrepreneurs?

Currently, I am also active in Micro Mentor; I am giving free mentorship for micro-entrepreneurs in Indonesia.

My current mentee is an Elementary school teacher who produces brown sugar with low glycemic as an alternative for diabetes people.
I am giving guidance on how he should market his product, from marketing strategy to basic branding knowledge. We have 12 sessions, 1.5 hours per week.

You have a Masters in Design & Brand Management. Are you using it presently?

Yes! It has helped me helping female entrepreneurs market themselves.

How has social media changed your country and life in general?

My private Instagram is basically about things I find amusing. It can be a beautiful pic of Vienna, my plants, everything.

But currently, I am using Quora Indonesia to also share my knowledge about branding and marketing, giving advice and some simple steps about career and education. I believe social media is a powerful tool we can utilize for anything. Selling your products? Creating your professional persona? Building your company’s image? Or getting your 15-minute fame as Andy Warhol said last time.

It all depends on us; we just need to be careful about what kind of image we’d like to be remembered.

For me, my focus in life is about legacy. Surely I won’t win a Nobel prize, but I still can help some women who start their small business, I still can inspire young Indonesian people to decide their career path better, and also making good memories with my kids

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