Secrets to Successful Parenting

Parenting is not easy.

Becoming a parent is one of the toughest things I have done in my life. It is also the most fulfilling thing I have done in my life. I am the father of a teenager. It does not come with a manual.  I have made many mistakes. I have also learned a lot of lessons.

Leanne Cabral author of A Parent’s Best Gift talks about parenting, parenting skills, parenting styles and gives us unique parenting tips.

Leanne, please tell my audience a little about you?

I am a mother, author, speaker, and coach who loves to inspire and equip others to build a living legacy of faith by chasing after the things that matter most. I have a passion for equipping parents as they navigate the awesome task of passing faith on to their children. I encourage parents to make their invisible faith tangible so they can intentionally point their kids to Jesus and build a living legacy of enduring faith. I am married to James and a mom to four teens/emerging adults. I recently released my first book, A Parent’s Best Gift, which is available on Amazon.

Tell us about your book A Parent’s Best Gift?

The best gift we can give our kids is to live our lives in such a way that they know who Jesus is and understand His incredible love for them. While many understand this task, in theory, most of us struggle to practice applying this in everyday life. A Parent’s Best Gift reveals this process, equipping parents with tools and strategies that are simple, applicable, and absolutely doable. Discover freedom, direction, and intentionality as you begin to see this magnificent task broken down into manageable bitesize pieces. I truly believe we all want to be the parents God has called us to be and cultivate faith in our kids that takes root and grows.

Why did you write this book and tell me about your journey as a parent?

This book emerged out of my own quest to figure out a few things as a Mom. I knew that I would be held accountable for how I lived out my faith and pointed my kids to Jesus. I was desperate to find out how to do this in the chaos of everyday life. Questions like how do you make an invisible faith visible and tangible, or How do I teach my kids to pray and to hear God’s voice… drove me. This sent me on quite a journey out of which a 10-talk series emerged as well as a book. What I learned on the journey was that as parents, we are all hungry for the same information… whether you come from a legacy of faith or you are a first-generation believer, we desperately want to be the parents God has called us to be, we just don’t always know-how. This book is about the obstacles that entangled me as the Lord began to deal with my own warped views of Him and myself and then moves into how to get started to create the legacy of faith that you want to build. The last part of the book which is the largest is a practical guide on how to cultivate specific areas of spiritual development within your family, like prayer or hear God, in the chaos of everyday life. I wrote the book I desperately wanted but couldn’t find it.

You call parenting the toughest assignment why?

I call it a sacred assignment, our main thing. With all the good things calling our name we often get distracted and clouded by lesser things and we respond to the tyranny of the urgent instead of intentionally doing the things we actually value most.

Define intentional parenting?

Most of us in parenting are reactive. We respond to the things that come our way … the things that appear urgent but may not actually be. An intentional parent is proactive, knowing what they value and what they want to focus on and cultivate within their family. They have created a family mission statement so that they are very clear on what they stand for as a family and what they want to be known for. They weigh every opportunity against their mission statement so that they can weed out all the good things calling their name and focus on the great things for their family. They create a plan and carve out time to implement what they value.

Give me four practical tips to be a great parent?

• Pray
• Create a Family Mission Statement. Figure out what you really value as a family – what you want to be known for so you can make your best decisions
• Be present … put the distractions down (phone, computer, TV)
• Start date nights with your kids where you spend at least one hour of uninterrupted time alone with one child.

I have a 16-year-old. Should I be a father to her or a friend? What are the difference and the result?

Your primary role is to model Jesus to her in your own life and point her to Him. Love and prayer are our most valuable tools.

How is food, faith, finance, and family connected?

They are all ingredients needed for a healthy family and healthy relationships – they need to be stewarded well.

Food – What you put in your body matters, the healthier the food, the healthier the body.

Faith – It is the main thing… none of the others matter if this one isn’t a priority. All the rest will flow out of this.

Finances – We must start from the place of knowing that all we have comes from God, we are simply given the task of stewarding it well.

Family – This is where all the magic happens. It is where faith is lived out in the majesty and in the messiness of life. This is what matters most… how we steward the kids entrusted to us and how we point them to Jesus. It’s in the seemingly mundane and ordinary where faith and faithfulness are cultivated. It’s our primary mission field.

How do you find a balance with the above in this busy world?

We have chosen to intentionally live life at a slower pace for that exact reason… So, we have enough time and margin to focus on what really matters to us and our family. In a world that moves so quickly, we live a slowed-down life where there is room for our soul to breathe and respond to the stirrings of the Holy Spirit.

Photo Credits: Jude Beck Artem Maltsev Priscilla Du Preez  S&B Vonlanthen Irina Murza  Limor Zellermayer Tyler Nix