Life With Sonia

Sonia from Life With Sonia talks about the challenges she has faced in life and how to overcome them.

Sonia, it is a pleasure to interview you.  I want to know something important about you? 

Thank you for having me. I am a Nigerian born but have lived in the United Kingdom for most of my life. I am a single mother – I have a 5-year-old daughter. I am the eldest out of 3 children, however, I have 2 older step sisters and 5 half-sisters, and 2 half brothers. I know, my family is very big. I have 2 disabilities from childhood. I am deaf, I wear 2 digital hearing aids, and my right arm was amputated after a car accident in Nigeria when I was 6 years old. Despite having these disabilities, I have a very positive approach to life and I have always been a fighter to have my own independence.

Walk me through what is life with Sonia all about? Who is your audience and why should we read it?  

My blog, Life With Sonia, is a lifestyle blog. I initially started blogging to share my personal experiences as I grow as a single parent and starting life all over again. Due to the fact that I have a 5-year-old who is about to start primary school, I feel this is when parenting and guidance actually start. When she was a baby, it was much easier and under my control, but now I feel there are going to be a lot more experiences that I have to be ready for and I want to share that with the world. My audience can be anyone really, from high school students to parents. I try to share posts about life lessons from when I was a teenager to the woman I am now. I have been through a lot growing up, which includes, bullying, racism, discrimination, and having no confidence in myself at all. And now as a mother, I also want to give something to my daughter to go back to when she starts school and facing difficult times. Hopefully, someone could learn from it, and hopefully, someone will be inspired by it.

Life is not about finding yourself; it is about creating yourself.  Please comment?

We all have a gift. When you are transitioning from a toddler to an adult, you were finding yourself. You had dreams, you took classes, and you graduate. Now what? You start working, right? 5 years down the line, you realize this was not for you, and then you start finding and building another dream all over again.  At this point, you realize that you have wasted the last 10 years of your life finding and chasing a dream that wasn’t meant for you in the first place. Instead, you should have been working and building yourself to your expectation and not what your families, friends, and society expects from you.

We as a society are caught up in perfection. You talk about stop having this perfect body. What have you learned through the process?

The perfect body has become one of my top blog posts. A lot of the times, we have done things that are beyond imaginable to achieve this ‘perfect body’, and no matter what we do, are never satisfied with we have, we always want to go higher and do better. However, putting your health at risk should not be part of the deal. It’s okay to want to look have some curves, big breasts, big bums, etc. You can work on that naturally, or get cosmetics, but your body has a limit and we are all uniquely designed. With that being said, you can not achieve what you really want, without risking your health.

Gratitude in life is very important. How are you grateful on a daily basis?

Sometimes in life, you don’t need much to stay grateful. Knowing that I am one step closer to achieving my dreams and having my daughter telling me she loves me every day is how I stay grateful on a daily basis.

You write a lot about being a single parent. Name me some of the challenges?

Being a single parent is a challenge itself. I don’t think anyone plans to be a single parent, and want to deal with all the challenges that come along with it all alone. I have struggled with confidence in believing that I can do it all by myself. Managing budget finance was very challenging and it’s still is. I also struggle with self-care. As a parent, you want to give your child everything you have but to do that you have also think about yourself.

Talk to me about some of the tough times you have had to deal with in life. How did you overcome it?

When I was 3 months pregnant, I was diagnosed with HIV. It was the darkest time of my life. I was so confused, asked lots of questions. I was pregnant, and now being diagnosed with HIV? I thought the doctors got it wrong. It couldn’t have been me, no way. I cried a lot, every single night. There were times I had tried to commit suicide because I just couldn’t handle the news. The pregnancy was supposed to be one of the best things that have ever happened to me but now I was facing another challenge. My parents were not as supportive as I would have liked. I felt very lonely and depressed. Couldn’t eat or sleep. Asking myself what’s going to happen in the future? What if the baby has the virus? How’s her life going to be? There were so many negative thoughts going on. When my daughter was born, she was tested negative. That was a big weight off my shoulder. I took it upon myself to make sure my daughter knows that I love her and to create a better life for my daughter and myself. So, when she was 2 years old, I was decided to stop crying and fight hard and went back to further education in hopes to get a good job and live a better life.

Do you want to give yourself some advice on 17 and 27?

I wrote a blog post called ‘Letter to my younger self’. In the post, I spoke about how things are finally coming together. I would tell her not to try to fit in and stop worrying about what other people think about her.

What have you learned through motherhood?

Motherhood has taught me many things about life. I have learned how powerful ‘Love’ is. You have not experienced any real love until you’re a parent.

Why should we visit Aberdeen and what are the good restaurants to eat at?

Aberdeen is a city that welcomes any culture from all over the world. The city is small but has everything to make you fall in love with it. The weather is not great throughout the year, however, with that being said, we appreciate the warm and sunny weather in the summer and white snow in the weather. In Aberdeen, we love to eat. The city center is filled with lots of restaurants, small or big. What I love about it is that we have different food from different cultures. So, everyone is welcome and feels at home.