Linda Breedlove: Be A Rebel On Purpose

Be a rebel on purpose.

When you think of a rebellious person, what comes to your mind? The dictionary has about 45 synonyms for the word rebellious. Fractious, anarchistic, bellicose, difficult, refractory, and seditious are some of the synonyms. The autonyms for rebellious are happy, obedient, compliant, and manageable.

I like to use the word out of the box thinking or approach rather than rebellious. When someone has a different method, approach,  or framework for the desired result or outcome is called an out of the box approach or thinking. Every once in a while we have to question the status quo. Be a rebel and ask questions.

2000 years ago, Jesus’s approach towards women was a classic out of the box approach. Jesus never disgraces, belittles, reproaches, or stereotypes a woman. From the woman who touched his garment to healing Peter’s mother-in-law and Jairus’s daughter, asking to drink water from a woman at the well in Samaria, and his love for Mary and Martha. Martin Luther through his writing started the reformation movement. Dr. Martin Luther King, Gandhi, Nelson Mandela all brought unique and different methods of dealing with the issues they were facing. We would not have electricity today if Thomas Edison did not have an out of box approach. Finally, for our generation, Steve Jobs and Bill Gates through Apple and Microsoft have changed the way we do things. They asked questions.

Linda Breedlove is the author of Embrace the Change: Be A Rebel On Purpose. I talk to Linda about being a rebel on purpose.

Linda welcome. I want to know a little about you?

I have been married twice, I have 3 children, 2 sons, and one daughter. I was a happy child but had a domineering father and I married far too young the first time mainly to get away from home. I married the wrong men, they were much like my father, and I allowed that to change me to not believe in myself and my abilities. I had lost my self-esteem and any confidence that I had. It wasn’t their fault; it was mine for allowing it to happen. I really didn’t like myself, let alone love myself. It took me many years to realize that it was me that needed to change, changing husbands wasn’t going to do it. Several years ago, I changed my entire outlook on my life, including losing weight, getting myself healthy again with proper nutrition and exercise, and changing my attitude. I went back to my childhood to find out why I wasn’t happy and figured out that even though I had a good childhood, I was never encouraged to use my abilities and I was told that university was a waste of time for me because I would only get married and have children. I didn’t know what I wanted to do but I also wasn’t given the chance to find out. I rebelled when I was 18 but it was short-lived for my father told me that if I left home then, I wasn’t allowed to come back ever. Scary for a young girl to hear those words. My book is about my journey to health, happiness, and learning to love myself again.

When you get up in the morning, what motivates you. What is your why?

My morning begins at around 4 am, sometimes 3:30. I seem to have this inner alarm clock that tells me it’s time to get up and get my party started. Those are the words I use every morning because I believe every day is a celebration (now that I’m way over 60). I find that time of the morning such a wonderful time to collect my thoughts, get inspired, and write a few posts, work on my blog, and my podcasts. You ask what motivates me? I get motivated simply by being alone when it’s peaceful and there is no one to interrupt me. When it gets daylight early, I love to watch the sunrise, and when it’s still dark out, I look for the moon and the stars. I wasn’t always this inspired but I have learned that I am a force to be reckoned with, I have something in me that I need to tell the world. And I have been lucky enough with my first book that many other people have thought the same thing. My next book, ‘Dream Bigger Be a Rebel on Purpose’ is due for release this November.

So often the students that got A+ is still working for somebody, the B’s are toeing the line. The rebellious who got C’s, who thought outside the box are running companies, creating wealth and value. How does that correspond to your book, Embrace the Change, Be a Rebel on Purpose?

Interesting question. I wanted to add Rebel on Purpose to my titles because I feel that rebellion is purposeful action. I was rebelling against all my old beliefs and ways. I rebelled against the fact that I had lost my self-esteem and my confidence. Everything that I do now has a purpose to it whereas before I had no direction, no determination. I had no desires and goals and I had no idea how to change myself.

I began each day by telling myself I was worth every moment of change that I wanted to see in myself, little steps. It took me a few years, but I did change everything that I wanted. I tell people now that each day is a new beginning and if you screwed up the day before, so what! That was yesterday! Resume your little steps today and soon you will be headed in the direction of your desires.

By the way, I wasn’t a very good student as well. I was too much of a ‘daydreamer.’ I daydreamed about traveling to far off places. I used to lay in the grass and watch the clouds go by and see myself on a magic carpet flying all over the world. In school, my knuckles were rapped constantly because the teacher would catch me staring out of the window instead of doing my schoolwork. The teachers always put in the report cards that I had so much potential, but I wasn’t using it. They called me a daydreamer; I call it visualization.

You are the motivational voice for women. I am trying to empower and inspire women to live balanced lives. Talk to me about this motivational voice?

That was told to me by the woman who read my book before it was even published, and it has stuck ever since. I was honored and humbled that she said that, and I have tried to be that voice ever since. I only have my own journey, but I hope to be able to help other people understand that they don’t need to take as long as I did to find their passions and their purpose. If I can help one other person do that, I’m happy.

A lot of us finally figure out what we want when we grow up. I believe it is never too late. I personally got married in my 30s, had a kid in my late 30s, went back to MBA school in 40s and now trying to run a blog and podcast. Talk to me about your own process of growing up?

I am the eldest of 4 siblings and my mother worked. I was the one to make sure my siblings got home from school and picked up the youngest one from the sitters. I made sure that they did their homework before they went out to play. I learned to cook by the time I was 12. I made sure dinner was on the table for my father when he came home from work. (my mother usually worked later than he did) I knew how to be responsible. I knew that I had to be because they depended on I wasn’t happy being the responsible one all the time, but I knew I had to. I did help me to grow up quickly though. I spent most of my adult years being ‘the responsible one.’ I married too young and had 2 sons by the time I was 23. I knew I wanted something else, I just didn’t know exactly what it was back then. All I knew was that I wanted to travel and stop being the responsible one sometimes. That didn’t happen for many years.

I truly believe everything that happens to me is 10%. When I get up the next morning and ready to face the world that is 90%. I do not like to ask why me instead of what now and not be the victim. Walk with me as to how we need to react when life just knocks us down and sometimes throws a knock out punch.

One of the biggest lessons that I learned on my journey back to me was that I didn’t have to be responsible for everyone else around me. I wasn’t responsible for my husband. I wasn’t responsible for my children when they grew older. And I definitely wasn’t responsible for my siblings anymore.

I was tired of everyone else’s expectations of me. I have never taken on the victim’s attitude and I have always believed that I am responsible for everything that I do and every choice that I have made.

I am an extrovert. I love hugs, kisses, and feeling the human touch. Covid has been my night. Humans, we are made to connect with one another. What does isolation do to the human soul?

I have written many essays on covid19 and I believe deep in my heart that we as humans will learn a deep and valuable lesson from this calamity. The first few months of being in isolation unnerved me greatly. I think the feelings that I had were of desperation mixed with hope for the future. It was an agonizing time for me, and my writing helped me to stay positive and focused on the future. Most of us cannot handle being away from others for long periods of time. We are a race of social people; we need a human touch to keep our sanity. Connecting over social media works for a short time, but it’s that coffee with friends, that need for interaction, and most of all those hugs that are missed. I missed all of that. Social media, while I’m thankful we have it during this unprecedented time, can’t fill that void.

Change is difficult. Covid has changed our world forever. I want to know what is your advice on how to deal with change?

I love change, I try new things all the time. I feel that a lot of positives will come out of the pandemic. I had no idea how to change the things that I wanted to change in myself when I first began my transformation but I soon learned to list all my dreams, my desires, and my goals. I had many of them and it took me a few years to accomplish what I wanted to change. Each time I was able to cross something off my list, I realized that I could add something else to it. You see, change is never finite, it is always happening. When I finally realized that if I wasn’t happy with one of my changes, I could simply change it again. We do not have to stick with a change if we aren’t completely satisfied with it. I found out that if I worked on something daily, I could accomplish my goals for the change I wanted to see in myself. However, I also learned that by taking little steps in the direction that I wanted to go, I would get there eventually. I learned that one of the most important things to have is patience.

Women empowerment… what does it mean to you. What can society do better?

Women’s empowerment is very personal. Each one of us has something in us that we feel we need to change in order to become the woman we want to be. Society has told us that we must act in certain ways, dress in certain ways, be the model we see in fashion magazines. We must be the perfect parent, the perfect wife or we have failed. I see that not only with women, but I see it with men as well, however, I feel women tend to take it to heart more than men which makes the biggest difference. I think women feel things differently than men. I do see things changing slowly now but we have a long way to go. We need more powerful women in politics, in business and we need to see less discrimination in wages.

Women are often afraid to show their powerful side because they fear they might lose their femininity. Men need to stop treating women as inferior and treat them as equals.

I am a big believer in peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, forgiveness, compassion, love unconditionally, and acceptance. Do we have anything in common?

Absolutely my beliefs as well. However, many of us will speak about, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, and forgiveness. When it comes right down to it though, each one of those words comes from having compassion and being able to forgive. Forgiveness is a personal act. It is for our own peace to learn to forgive.

Loving unconditionally means we have reached that state.

As my wife battles cancer, I am focusing on gratitude, hope, and resilience. What advice do you have for my audience who are in the tunnel and right at the bottom of the peak?

I am so sorry to hear about your wife. My heart goes out to both of you. Each of us goes through different battles and it depends on how we respond to those events in our lives that make the difference. If we respond with negativity, we will be despondent all the time. Not that we always need to be positive, but we need to remember that our responses can make us or break us. We need to remember that there is always a glimmer of hope. You have it correct when you focus on gratitude and resilience as well. Gratitude equals happiness. Be in the moment, for tomorrow is never promised.

My mother used to sing this song all the time, Que sera, sera what will be, will be. She was the one that always told me that things happen for a reason, which may not be apparent to you right now.

Everything that happens though is making us stronger for the future. We never know what the future has in store for us and we never should be so arrogant to think that we do.