Skye Sauchelli: Serve Others

Skye Sauchelli is the founder of Thriving and Inspiring a personal development blog. Skye’s mission in life is to serve others. She is passionate about assisting others so they feel valued and worthy. Skye offers encouragement and inspiration through her blog and believes that inner health and wellness can position people to inspire positive change in the world. Her passion for encouraging positive mental health has led her to co-create a group called Jump into Joy, a self-discovery and empowerment curriculum for young girls. Skye co-facilitates sessions for girls in the community that focus on topics relevant to the real-world challenges they face.

Skye considers herself to be a beach girl who loves Jesus, tea, chocolate, and cats.  Wife and proud mama of two kitties and a rescue pup.

Skye and I are part of a few blogger groups and I have always admired her giving and encouraging spirit.

In this interview, Skye talks about focusing on life, gratitude, self-care, mental health, preventing burn out and the advantages of being authentic.

Skye, you say There is beauty in the unfinished because your direction has yet to be determined. Please comment.

Being unfinished, whether a project or simply the spot you’re at in life, can be beautiful, and even fun. What…? Yes, the lack of “perfectness” can be good.

Your life, or whatever you’re working on, will never come together perfectly and exactly as planned. In fact, you’ll waste a lot of manpower trying to make everything just right.

Lately, I’ve been learning that it’s okay to give something rest and allow space for a little clarity. It’s okay and allowed to get back to things later. The pressure you put on yourself to find perfection and completeness can eat up your creativity and ability to flex and adjust.

Your life is not in shambles or “a mess” because it’s not coming together the way you wanted, or if you’re not where you think you “should be.” You’re actually doing it right, you’re living in the midst of and despite all the unforeseen obstacles.

If you can come to accept that the changing and editing that comes along with unexpected surprises in life is all a part of the process, you’ll find a heck of a lot more fulfillment along the way!

What you can really celebrate is the fact that you have the power to create the life you want to live! That’s why the middle, the midst, the unfinished, the messy, is so beautiful! Because you have options and choices ahead of you that allow you to change course in the direction you want to go!

I love the fact that you talk about self-care and burnout. Talk to me about some of the ways we can prevent burnout.

Burnout is REAL and you’re not immune to it, unfortunately.

The goal is for you to employ preventative measures BEFORE you get to a place of burnout, not after.

If you can recognize when you’re close to entering burnout, you can use strategies to combat it.

How do you know you’re close to burnout? You have a lack of desire for that thing, you think about the source of stress even when you’re not around it, you have less motivation than you used to, or you feel like you’re just going through the motions.

My favorite way to prevent burnout, and what’s worked wonders for me, is what I call a “relax night.” Pick one day out of the week when you commit to a few hours of nothing.

For me, Thursday evenings are full of nothing but sitting my butt on the couch and watching my favorite show with my husband, eating my favorite snack, and sipping tea. I don’t allow myself to do ANY chores on Thursday nights. I don’t make any plans on Thursday nights. I always leave them open just for me.

So pick a chunk of hours each week, ideally the same time every week, but that may not work for some. Be as consistent as you can. Pick a day and time you can really commit to. And an amount of time that’s realistic.

Maybe you can only give yourself 30 minutes. That’s totally fine, and better than 0 minutes!

Hold that time sacred. Treat it like an important meeting and don’t schedule anything over that time block.

What if you can’t spare 30 minutes or an hour, or a whole evening?

That brings me to my next tip to prevent burnout.

Do something small for yourself every single day. Yes, every single day.

Block out 5-10, or maybe 15 minutes, to do something that brings you joy!

Some examples from my life include: taking a bike ride around the neighborhood, setting a timer and reading for 15 minutes, doing an eye or face mask, a 10-minute yoga flow, walking my dog, sipping tea in the sunroom, mediating by listening to a quick Youtube video.

By engaging in one quick activity daily that brings you joy, you’re telling yourself that you are worth feeling joy and worth paying attention to each day!

I am a big fan of focusing on gratitude. Walk me through what gratitude is.

I stinking love gratitude! It’s like living in a perpetual state of Thanksgiving!  It’s simply focusing on and bringing notice to things you’re grateful for! When we pay attention to the things in our life that we are thankful for, we’re better able to recognize more and more things!

The point in a way is to shift our perspective to one of gratitude. I find that focusing on gratitude is most helpful because it allows me to take any day, however bad or frustrating it was, and frame it in a better light.

Every night, I write in my gratitude journal. It’s nothing fancy, just a simple planner with lines for each date. I jot down a handful of things that I’m grateful for specifically from that day.

This nightly practice has allowed me to move beyond being grateful for the basics (like food, a home, and my family and friends- which is great, don’t get me wrong) and pulling out specific things from each day.

Even if I’ve had the worst day, ending it by pulling small pieces of gratitude allows me to end the day realizing it was a good one!

You talk a lot about prayer. I want to know more.

Prayer plays a significant role in my life. And if you’re new to it, I have a whole blog post on the basics!

I pray because my faith is a huge part of my life. When I was new to my faith I wasn’t quite sure how or what to pray.

But as I’ve grown, I’ve realized there’s no wrong way to talk to God. It’s just about talking openly to Him. He knows your struggles already but wants you to come to Him and lean on Him for the support!

I’ve learned recently that it’s even okay to be angry and frustrated with God and let Him know! (You don’t hear that much, huh?!) But truly, those feelings are legitimate and it’s good to be truly raw with God.

The beautiful thing is He meets you where you’re at.

I’ve been using my morning commute as my prayer time, and sure I go through peaks and valleys in my faith and prayer life, but I find that having a dedicated time to pray is super helpful! And I just pray what’s on my mind. I thank and praise him, I ask for things, and I repent of things I’ve done that don’t honor Him.

It’s just talking to him, and there’s no need to get caught up in any “rules” or think it’s intimidating. It’s really freeing to open your heart each day to Him.

So often we have limiting beliefs. I face that myself. How can we overcome this?

Limiting beliefs are the bane of our existence, aren’t they?

They can really take root in our minds and we can begin to think they’re facts.

My absolute favorite way to overcome limiting beliefs is to challenge them instantly. Now, this takes effort and intention.

Every time you have a limiting belief (like I’ll never be able to start my own small business or I’ll never be able to stick to this whole healthy lifestyle thing and workout a few days a week), you immediately challenge it by questioning if it’s really TRUE or not.

It’s almost never true. Our limiting beliefs are just fears and worries and insecurities we have that seep into our headspace.

If you can get in the habit of asking yourself: “Is that ACTUALLY true?” after each limiting belief pops into your head, you’ll be able to slowly but surely weed them out.

It’s definitely an ongoing process, but a worthwhile pursuit for sure!

I love authenticity in people. What is it about being authentic that is so attractive?

Ahhh, authenticity! Think about a person in your life who you really just click with. Why do you think you get along so well with them? It’s likely because they’re just REAL. They’re absolutely, unapologetically authentic. They know who they are and they don’t try to be anyone else.

That’s what makes authenticity so special. Authentic people are sure of themselves, confident in who they are, and most importantly, love who they are!

Isn’t that the goal? To be confident in our own skin and to love the person we are? What we want then, is to be authentic!

To be comfortable with YOU, you have to work on lots of things like confidence building, self-talk, body image, and self-worth. These things are honestly my passion. I love helping women become empowered to be their full and best and authentic selves.

Because when we are our best selves, we live a life full of joy, contentment, gratitude, and fulfillment!

Individualism is destroying us. I believe in a strong and vibrant community. We are made to be in healthy relationships. How can we find this community?

We are absolutely made for the community! That’s what I strive to create on my blog- a community of women who are seeking growth within themselves, looking for support and to support others, and creating relationships that are deep and meaningful!

It’s a lot harder in this post-Covid, very virtual world to make and maintain connections! Yes, the virtualness of our world does provide opportunities for connections you may have never had otherwise, but I think a balance of virtual and in-person connections and community is key.

I’ll say, I found a lot of support in Facebook groups (for me blogging groups, but for you it could be crocheting groups or whatever else you’re into!). I felt very lonely on my journey until I joined a few groups with genuinely supportive members.

Virtually, I also joined a bible study that allowed me to find community with fellow Christian women! Then I branched out even more and took a 4-week training that allowed me to sit with and story-tell with others all around the country! How fun!

It’s all about going out on a limb and joining things virtually that may be out of your comfort zone at first. That’s where I’ve found the most rewarding and fruitful connections online!

In-person, I’d say we can find community by doing what we love!

If you love walking in nature, I’d be willing to bet some other local people do too. Take yourself to the local park or trail and walk! You’re bound to see the same friendly faces over and over, and maybe that’s how you meet your new walking buddy!

Maybe you love Pilates so you start going to a weekly class. Guess what?! There are other women there who also love Pilates, and are maybe looking for a workout partner.

Whatever it is, birdwatching, painting, baking, engaging in activities you love and connections will follow!

My last tip for in-person connections is to join a group of some sort. Maybe it’s a church or a specific bible study group. Maybe it’s a mommy and me club or a hiking group. Put yourself out there and you’d be shocked how many others are seeking and desiring the same connections you are!

Boundaries are important for mental health, self-care, and preventing burnout. Give me some examples of how we can create boundaries.

Creating boundaries is one of the trickier parts of working on ourselves.

I find the best way to create boundaries is to clearly define the boundaries to those around you as they come up.

There’s no need to spew off our newfound boundaries to anyone and everyone at any random time. This doesn’t have the same power as when we are mindful and thoughtful about how and when we bring new boundaries to light.

If a circumstance arises that calls on you to implement and employ a new boundary you set, my best advice is to communicate it kindly and clearly to the people involved.

If you’ve created a new boundary for yourself that involves putting your phone away at 9 PM every night, but your boss or your bestie gets upset with you for not answering their late-night request right away, that’s the time to communicate your boundary.

You may say something like, “I’ve actually decided to stop using my phone at a certain point at night to create some much-needed space in my life. Moving forward, I’ll happily answer you the next morning, but no earlier. Thank you for respecting my space.”

Communicating boundaries can be the most uncomfortable part, but the more open we are about them, the more people will recognize and respect them.

Lastly, you have to respect your own boundaries before others respect them, so do your best to stick to them!

What does women’s empowerment mean to you?

Empowerment is a big word with a lot of meaning (especially to me)! I feel so strongly about it, I created a community girls’ group to teach it!

Women empowerment is about confidently embracing you and working toward becoming your best self. Empowerment is about building up all the versions of yourself and working toward unapologetic confidence in who you are.

I’ve seen many women seek empowerment in the areas of body image, self-esteem, career, and overall confidence. To me, women’s empowerment means accepting where we’re at in all of these areas, while also desiring and working toward growth.

Talk to me about the city you live in and the food scene.

I live in a quaint little town that has tons of history. It was founded in the late 1600s, believe it or not! It’s situated near tons of water, and there are a handful of sweet little bay beaches in seemingly every direction.

It’s full of festivals in the warmer months, and the traditions run deep. We have a yearly festival where people come from all over, we do a huge fireworks display, parades, and more.

My favorite part of our small town is the old-fashioned Stewart’s Root Beer Restaurant directly across from the town lake. It feels small and quiet, even when the summer crowds flock in since we’re just 20 minutes from the Atlantic Ocean and stunning beaches.

What I like about the food scene is that it’s minimal. There are plenty of mom-and-pop places and very few chains. There are restaurants overlooking the water, ones tucked away in the forest, and everything in between. There’s fancy and uber casual.

And the whole town basically goes to sleep around 10 PM. Things aren’t open super late. I actually love when I come home late and I’m the only car in sight waiting for the light to change.

I live in a small town, but one that’s incredibly alive and fun. Many of us know each other, but there are still roads I haven’t been down yet.