#bible Archives - Four Columns of a Balanced Life

How to find the right church for you

admin — Fri, 02 May 2025 20:02:53 +0000

That’s a deep question: How do you find the right church?

Churches have become commodified—focused on branding, entertainment, and attracting “customers” rather than fostering genuine spiritual growth.

In the last nine months, I have received more emails, calls, texts, and Facebook messages regarding the above question.

Choosing a church is a significant decision that can impact your spiritual growth, sense of community, and overall well-being.

In 2004, I had just moved to the Durham Region. I found Sanctus in Ajax. Sanctus changed my life. Sanctus’s preaching was biblically sound and Christ-centered. The worship style was contemporary which made an instant connection with me. The sermons were engaging, meaningful, and applicable to me. The focus was on leading a holistic life led by the Holy Spirit. Jesus was the focus of everything they did. They had small groups.

The transparency and accountability of Sanctus was amazing. The leadership structure was clear with a Biblical accountability. The integrity in finances, governance, and decision-making was impeccable. The mission and vision were evangelism, community service, discipleship, and mentoring.

The youth program was unbelievable. My daughter never wanted to leave.

The board was humble and as a member, we had meetings every quarter.

As I looked around at the membership the head of TTC, the VP from a Canadian bank, Professors from Tyndale, entrepreneurs and a vibrant community.

Sanctus has four sites and 5000 people in attendance in 2025.

It was hard to leave after 18 years and the hunt for a new church in the Niagara Escarpment began.

The first thing you need to know to find the right church is that Christianity is not a spectator sport. You will not benefit if you come only on Sunday and leave right after service. You need to become intentional in serving, joining a small group, and inviting people to your home.

The second fact you need to be aware of is that you cannot be a consumer in Christianity.

Finally, the church is full of broken, messed-up people who are looking for help.

For my emotional well-being and spiritual growth it was important to find the right church that was safe and healthy. I have listed some key indicators of a safe and healthy church.

Biblical Teaching & Theology

Church doctrine is extremely important because it defines the core beliefs and teachings of a faith community. It provides a foundation for understanding God, salvation, morality, and the purpose of life. The teaching should align with the Bible, encouraging faith, love and grace. To find the right church make sure that beliefs remain consistent with Scripture and historical teachings, preventing misinterpretation or deviation from core Christian principles. Christ, not a leader or tradition, is the center of teaching, worship, and mission.

The doctrine helps believers know how to live according to God’s will, shaping their worldview, ethics, and daily decisions. Shared doctrine unites believers, preventing confusion and division while fostering a sense of community and purpose. Doctrine safeguards against heresies and misleading ideologies that could distort the faith.

However, it’s also important to balance doctrine with love and grace. While firm beliefs are necessary, rigid legalism without compassion can drive people away. A healthy church upholds sound doctrine while living out Christ’s love. A healthy church also uses exegesis, hermeneutics and stays away from proof texting when looking at scripture.

Authentic Leadership who are accountable

When a church leader walks authentically, it fosters trust, unity, and a thriving spiritual environment. An authentic leader lives out Christian principles both privately and publicly and demonstrates a lifestyle of service, forgiveness, prayer and generosity. To find the right church look for leadership who preach but also embody it. The leader is transparent and accepts that he does not have all the answers. She listens actively, values feedback and avoids manipulation or control. She prioritizes people over programs and status.

An authentic leader handles criticism and conflict with grace and surrounds themselves with a team for spiritual, financial and ethical accountability.

Financial Transparency & Stewardship

The church should have open financial reporting with members in meeting or bulletins. The budget should show how funds are allocated to mission, salaries, community outreach and building maintenance. Members

Members can request and review financial documents without resistance or secrecy. A group should oversee spending, budgeting and accountability. Elders or a board of trustees should provide oversight and approval for major expenses or changes. The spending aligns with the mission and vision of the church such as caring for the poor, supporting ministries, and maintaining the facility responsibly.

Finally staff are paid fairly in a way that honors their work. An authentic leader will talk about giving from a Biblical perspective not obligation or manipulation.

A lack of transparency or a culture where financial questions are unwelcome is a red flag.

The Atmosphere

Does the church welcome everyone, regardless of background, lifestyle, past mistakes or appearances. Is grace and support offered openly or the focus more on condemnation and rules? Is sin looked at a pathway to transformation, or does it create fear and shame? Are differing viewpoints encouraged and or just shut down.

Does the church offer room for growth and second chances, or is there a culture of legalism and perfectionism?

A healthy church balances truth and grace—acknowledging sin but offering love, restoration, and hope. If a church feels more like a courtroom than a hospital for the broken, it may be judgmental.

Community & Fellowship

In finding the right church the congregation has to be warm and welcoming. There needs to be opportunities to connect through small groups or various ministries. A safe and healthy church encourages strong relationships among its members.

Mission & Outreach

A healthy and safe church should have a strong commitment to evangelism and community service. You need to check if there are missions, local outreach, and service opportunities. The church needs to have discipleship and mentoring in its DNA.

Family & Youth Programs

A safe church has a intergenerational component to it. There are programs for children, teens, and young adults. There needs to be resources and support for families. If the church does not have answers then they refer the members to counseling.

A healthy church needs to have a strong emphasis on raising the next generation in faith?

Prayer & Spiritual Growth

A church that focuses on prayer and dependance on God, that encourages personal holiness and growth in faith is the right church.

Size & Location

Do you prefer a small, intimate church or a large congregation? Is the church easily accessible from your home? Does the church provide online services if needed?

Peace & Confirmation from God

The church that we found, we were at peace and led by the Holy Spirit to be there. The contemplative approach helped me to grow closer to Christ and where my family is thriving spiritually.

Examples of safe churches and Pastors

I have known Dave Adams for more than two decades. He has pastored at Grindstone and Sanctus. Dave worked in the corporate world and has a great sense of humor and an amazing family.

I have know Jonathan Manafo for more than two decades. He is the founder of The Village. I have asked him some of the toughest questions about life. He has been through so many challenges but his faith never fails.

I have known Kevin Robbins for 35 years. A humble man with a great family. He has faced many challenges but has overcome with his deep faith.

In the last three years no pastor has helped me more than Matt Pamplin. Just an outstanding man.

Good luck in finding the right church and reach out to me if you are looking for a safe church in your area.

The post How to find the right church for you appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

Joanna Lafleur: 21st century’s Aimee McPherson

admin — Sat, 10 Apr 2021 04:00:14 +0000

Joanna Lafleur has an undergrad in communication and business and a master’s in theological studies focusing on how to use digital communication tools for evangelism and discipleship. Over the last 15 years, she has spoken at churches, conferences, camps, and ministries in North America, Europe, and Asia. She also led the creative communication team at Sanctus, a multi-site church in Ajax. Joanne Lafleur also hosts a podcast for Creatives and Communicators called Word Made Digital and teaches the Bible on a nationally televised Christian talk show called “See Hear Love”, now in its 4th season. She is a proud aunt to 12 nieces and nephews, a board member with InterServe, a songwriter with C4 Worship, and an advisor to the Institute of Evangelism at Wycliffe College.

Joanne help me understand your role as a director of communications in a church setting?

I typically try to explain it by saying that I get to oversee everything you see and touch in our church at a church-wide level. What I mean by that is signage, images on screens, videos, banners, graphics, branding, printed promotional cards, magazines, interactive elements within a service like booklets or stickers, church-wide emails, social media, photography, etc. By no means do I do all this myself! We have a great team of staff, volunteers, and contractors that work together to get this done week in and week out. Generally, all this is being done under my conviction that the Church has the most important message in the world, so I’m trying to help us be the best communicators we can be of that message, in our ever-changing, highly digital culture.

Talk to me about your TV show, blog, and your podcast. What is the ultimate goal of these shows?

In general, wherever I’m communicating and over whatever medium, my prayer is that I actually help real people. On the TV show, my desire is to communicate the Bible and who Jesus is in a joyful, practical, and accessible way that might encourage viewers who are going through all kinds of struggles of their own and need the hope of Christ. In my writing, I’m trying to provide practical help for real communications problems that people working in churches wrestle through every day, often with much less resource than we have in a larger church. On the podcast, I’m trying to help creatives and communicators see their work differently while getting an inside look at some of the voices in the field that inspire them.

You are also a pastor in a role held by men since the beginning of time. Explain the highs, lows and the challenges of being taken seriously?

That’s a big question! We could spend a long time talking about this, so I want to, first of all, recognize that it’s a big topic, and full of lots of emotions and opinions for people. That said, generally, I don’t want to make gender a big thing in the spheres where I lead. I don’t label myself as a “woman leader” when I walk into a room. I am simply, a leader. I’m not sure I’ve ever had an issue with being “taken seriously”, because I try to walk in the confidence of my calling.

Whether man or woman, you are taken seriously by leading well. Getting an education. Backing up the talk with action. Increasing your emotional intelligence. Loving the people, you serve. Becoming better at what you do by being teachable. Living with integrity publicly and privately. That brings lots of challenges, but I’m not sure they are uniquely female.

I would say the particularly female challenge for many, and it was for me, was coming to terms theologically with what I understood was the calling of God on my life to lead. It wasn’t just should I go in this direction, but actually, is this in obedience and alignment with scripture? I don’t think men ask that question when stepping into leadership, and for me growing up with very few models of women in leadership, it was a wrestle initially to come to understand the amazing opportunities there are for women to lead or pastor. Now, I hope the generation coming up after me has many amazing examples of men and women to follow after as mentors and models of leadership.

You are like me, you grew up in a couple of different countries and like to travel. What has all those experiences taught you as a person?

The biggest thing for me, beyond a desperate desire to travel every month, is that there are lots of ways to do things, and just because something is different doesn’t make it wrong. There are many ways to get to a similar goal: making a meal, raising children, leading a country, worshipping Jesus… all can have a few approaches with pros and cons to them, and we are more the same than we are different as humanity. I hope it’s made me be a more open-minded person to new ideas, people, and foods.

In life, we all go through challenges. Give me an example of something you have been through and how you are dealing with it?

A current challenge I’m going through is learning to grieve well. I’ve experienced a lot of deaths in my family in the past year, and my father who has Parkinson’s and dementia has really taken a turn for the worse in 2019. It’s a strange thing to grieve someone who is still alive, yet each month we lose more and more of who we knew him to be, so it is prolonged grief. I’m learning that I’m stronger than I thought I was. I’m learning to be gentle to myself. I’m learning what it looks like to serve someone who once served me. I’m drinking lots of coffee, praying lots for endurance, and trying to keep a great sense of humour about it all.

As a Millennial what are some of the challenges your generation is facing?

The biggest one that comes to mind, is that a lot of experts talk about this as a “fatherless” generation. A lot of the struggles for identity, purpose, career and education pursuits, financial stability, and more seem to stem from so many people lacking a solid father figure to guide them and love them in a consistent way. This is not my own personal story, but absent or just unavailable dads is a major marker of this generation. It leaves an amazing opportunity in the church for men to rise up and disciple a few younger people around them, caring for them with the love and wisdom of a father.

I have known you for a decade. Any advice you would give to your younger self?

I’d probably tell her to treat everyone with more kindness than she thinks they deserve, including kindness towards herself. And to buy as much Toronto real estate as possible before the prices went nuts

Rapid Fire questions

Favorite restaurant in TO

Depends on the occasion, but I love “La Carnita” on John St for out of this world tacos. And a little Italian place in Leslieville called “Frankie’s” that changes its fresh pasta menu every week.

Favorite café

Boxcar Social. Best coffee in the city (IMO).

Steak with which wine

Steak- medium-rare. Wine- I’m not an expert. When out, I usually just do the house red or a Cabernet Sauvignon.

Favorite beer

Jelly King, from Bellwoods Brewery. It’s a local sour beer from Toronto.

Favorite author

C.S. Lewis. A brilliant mind, and a life-long influence on my understanding of God. From a childhood in Narnia, to adolescence in his apologetics, to a seminary student taking a course on his evangelism style, to an adult finding comfort in a Grief Observed.

Favorite city

Toronto! And then: Marseille France, Amsterdam Netherlands, San Diego USA, Istanbul Turkey.

Name of one famous you want to have a meal with?

Famous people don’t appeal to me much. I’d rather have dinner with current friends or my grandparents who died before I met them.

The post Joanna Lafleur: 21st century’s Aimee McPherson appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

From Success To Significance

admin — Sat, 20 Mar 2021 04:00:36 +0000

David Adams is the lead pastor, planning and implementation at Sanctus Church. David did his Undergrad in Commerce and Economics from the University of Toronto and has a Master of Theological Studies from the Tyndale Seminary. Being called into ministry after operating in the business world, Dave joined the Pastoral Lead Team in 2008. He is responsible for the implementation of everything that moves Sanctus towards a shared vision. Dave is a husband to his wife Jen and together they have four married kids and five grandchildren. When not in ministry, you can find Dave on the golf course or soccer fields, like a true Irishman.

A few years ago, Dave challenged me to move from success to significance. He made me think about what my legacy would be.

As Dave heads to become the Senior Pastor of StoneRidge Fellowship in Nova Scotia, I ask him about the importance of moving from success to significance.

Dave tell us a little about you?

I’ve been married to my best friend for over 37 years now and enjoy doing life with her more than anyone. We love to travel together, especially to East Africa. I’m a bit of a sports nut when it comes to being a weekend warrior. I love to play soccer with the young guys to show them that it’s still a thinking game. I try to play golf as much as I can and when I travel, I try to squeeze in a round. I have 4 great married kids and 3 grandkids who I adore. I should have started with the grandkids, they’re way more fun.

What made you decide to leave the corporate world?

I loved the corporate world. I got to spend some awesome years working with really talented, smart people. The experiences that I had in the corporate world have helped make me a better pastor. In 1993 I was quickly climbing the corporate ladder. I had just turned down a huge opportunity at one of Canada’s major banks but was involved in a small but fast-growing software development firm. In the middle of all that, while I was reading my Bible, something I did almost every day, I felt like God really spoke to me. Not audibly, but some of the verses I was reading seemed like they jumped off the page. I believed that Jesus was asking me to make a significant shift in my life, to follow him in ways I’d never fully done before. One of those ways was to dedicate my vocational life to helping others by becoming a pastor.

What does an executive pastor do?

Actually Gerry, my title is Lead Pastor. I started at Sanctus as the Executive Pastor or XP for short. At Sanctus we operate based on Prompting and Planning. We firmly believe that God “prompts” us as an organization to do some specific things beyond common faithfulness. Once we agree on what those promptings are, my job is to make it happen. I’m the planning side of prompting and planning.

How important are a strong governance structure and an amazing board?

Irreplaceable. Without a strong board, things get bogged down in personality struggles, conflicts, and bottlenecks. At Sanctus we have a great board and a great board process. From a high level, the board is mainly concerned with “Why” and “What” while the staff focus on “How”. I also need to say that we all work really hard at keeping relationships healthy at the board level. It’s critical that we know and care about each other.

Walk me through your journey in your faith and what have you learned along the way?

Oh my gosh, how many pages do you want me to write ha-ha? I was born into a family that had faith only by association with the Christian religion. We didn’t practice anything related to our so-called faith. When I was 11 or 12 and still living in Northern Ireland, I went to a junior high weekend retreat put on by some people who loved Jesus and junior high students. I went on that retreat and it changed my life. I remember hearing for the first time the good news of what Jesus did for me and the free gift of salvation offered by God for everyone. Since then life has been full of ups and downs, some really high and some clinically low. But my faith in Jesus has never wavered, he changed my life.

Men have a tough time from the mid-40s to mid-50s. You have come out with flying colors through it. Tell us some of the challenges and victories?

Great question. Most guys spend the vast majority of their time trying to be successful, whatever that means to them. For most its about money, sex, and power. What happens to a lot of guys who take the time to think, ponder, read and listen, is they start to make a shift from success to significance. They start thinking about legacy more than prosperity. They begin to value a relationship with the spouse, kids, grandkids, friends more than money. By the time you hit your 50’s you realize you’re more than half done your life and I think a lot of guys feel like their coming up short.

You take two weeks of your own vacation time and serve in Uganda. Tell us a little about it and why do you do it?

In 2007 my wife and I spent 4 months in East Africa that was life-changing. We fell in love with the place and the people. But as we hung out in church every week, we began to notice that there was a leadership void. Great people were trying the best they could but often they didn’t have the resources (money, education, skills, experience) to lead effectively. I knew we could do something about it. In addition, there are tons of kids who live on the streets because they’ve been orphaned by HIV/AIDS or they’ve been abused or a thousand other reasons. We knew we could do something about that too. But when we got to the point where we both felt we HAD to do something about it, we knew we were in for a wild ride. So, we looked for a great organization to partner with and found International Teams Canada and got involved in their Impact Uganda Program.

What is your favorite vegetable with a nice steak, fries and a glass of red wine?

Fries IS the vegetable with the steak. I have a great dislike, even hatred of veggies. I try to pull it off as a life-threatening allergy but most people just look at me funny.

Why is grace, redemption and forgiveness important in your faith?

Just think about the words. Grace, getting something that I never deserved. God’s unmerited favor to me. Redemption, I have been bought out of spiritual slavery at a great price. One that I could never have afforded but Jesus paid it on my behalf. Forgiveness, everything that I’ve ever done that falls short of God’s perfect, the holy standard has been forgiven. The penalty that should have been mine for falling so far short has been paid by Jesus. These things are so wonderful to think about and only attainable through faith in Jesus.

You are a husband, son, father and grandfather. Give some advice to us young men out there who are just beginning to navigate those roles?

We live in a child-centric culture. Make sure to always cultivate your relationship with your wife. Long after the kids are gone, even after a victory lap back at home again, there’ll just be you and her. Make sure you’re still friends and still in love. But that only happens if you stay connected throughout the journey. Second, don’t get sucked into consumerism. It can happen with stuff but it can also happen with relationships. Don’t like the one you have? Toss it/her in the garbage and get a newer model. That kind of thinking and that way of life only leads to heartache for you and a whole bunch of other people. Third, try to laugh every day. Ok well at least try to smile, it won’t kill you.

The post From Success To Significance appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

To err is human, to forgive, divine

admin — Thu, 21 May 2020 10:31:58 +0000

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong – Mahatma Gandhi

To err is human, to forgive, divine – Alexander Pope

Romance to ruin

It was my tenth wedding anniversary. I was excited to have made it this far.

As we celebrate in a fine dining restaurant on the Mayan Riviera, I ask Debbie how we are doing as a couple. I love asking Debbie this question. You see, in the last decade, she had never criticized me. On the other hand, if I ask my daughter how I am doing as a father, I always get a list of things I need to work on.

I am excited. Debbie will tell me that I have been sensitive, gentle, romantic and will thank me for bringing us to this amazing resort. The ego is waiting to be fed.

‘Jerry, I have to be honest with you about something. The first is that you are a lousy sleeper. The second is that every time we hang around certain people, you are not the same person for a week.

‘Wow! Wow! Wow! Hold on a minute…what do you mean I am a lousy sleeper?’

‘Well, it takes you an hour for you to go to sleep. You are always twisting and turning. And even when you sleep it feels like you are fighting someone’.

‘OK, OK, I get it. What about the second comment?’

Debbie names a few people.

Walk on the beach

In life, have you ever felt like someone has put a knife inside you? How about when they turn it and sprinkle salt and vinegar on the wound? That is how I was feeling.

After dinner, I took a long walk on the beach.

As the waves were fighting the gravitational pull of the earth and the moon, I was fighting what Debbie just told me.

However, it did explain something. All my life I have always felt tired. I have never pulled an all-nighter in my whole life. Debbie was so true about some of the names she mentioned.

I had to do something about it.

Around this same time, 7 men involved in my wedding got divorced. We also had a reunion from St. Andrews in New York and a classmate who lives less than an hour’s drive never showed up. After two years of planning, a university reunion did not occur because people could not decide which hotel to stay at.

Face to face with forgiveness

Keep in mind, that hurting people often hurt other people as a result of their pain. If somebody is rude and inconsiderate, you can almost be certain they have some unresolved issues. They have some major problems, anger, resentment, or some heartache they are trying to cope with or overcome. The last thing they need is for you to make matters worse by responding angrily – Joel Osteen

I am in Dr. Lin’s office. I told her about the talk I had with my wife. She asks me a few questions about my past. After an hour, we come to a mutual decision that I need help. I made a request about what kind of shrink I want (the control freak in me).

My first appointment with Coleen resulted in me talking about how many friends I had. She tells me that if anyone has more real friends than their fingers, there is an issue there. I learned not to try to impress her anymore.

It was a long, painful, difficult process. For the first three years, I came monthly.

We talked about unconditional love, abandonment, perfectionism, unrealistic expectations, dealing with issues, taking people where they are at, being broken, and forgiveness.

Dealing with the reality

I am a perfectionist, have unrealistic expectations of people, am prideful, impatient, ungrateful, co-dependent on people, and am looking for love in all the wrong places and wrong people.

I was driving my wife nuts. She would clean the whole home, and mow the lawn, Jean was in bed, and dinner was waiting for me. But I had to pinpoint that one piece of stain on the hardwood.

I had unrealistic expectations from my friends that they had to be as loyal as I was to them.

I was arrogant that I was working on Bay Street.

I was driving myself crazy that I had not made it to Vice President at 35.

I graduated from one of the best high schools on the planet. I got honors from the best hotel school in the world. I do not smoke, drink or do drugs. Porn, that is for losers who do not get the real stuff. Me broken, never. I had to come in touch with me being broken.

I had to come in touch with my own criticism and negativity, deep-rooted from my own insecurities.

I had a bad temper and was impatient.

I could not spell being grateful and forgiving.

I had kept a record of wrongs for a long time.

I did not have boundaries in my life.

As I continued to talk, email, and write letters to those who hurt me, it was like a whole burden had come off.

I was sleeping better, happier, and became a better husband and father.

What is forgiveness

Forgiveness is the willful and purposed process by which a victim undergoes a radical change in emotions, awareness, and perspective towards an offense and does not believe in being vengeful or wants compensation from the offender and wishes the offender well.

Forgiveness does not mean we condone, excuse, forget, pardon (legal), or seek reconciliation from the offender.

Research has shown that forgiving other people is better for your health.

Am I perfect today? No. I still struggle with many issues and am more aware of them. I make fun of my perfectionism. If someone is rude or cuts me on the highway, I try not to take it personally.

I promise you I am not the same person that I was five years ago.

I warn you not everyone will be happy with this new you. You will gain and lose some relationships. Not everyone is comfortable with change.

As you read this article, please call someone who has hurt you or you have hurt. Forgive the other person. Trust me you will come out ahead. Write to me about how this process has helped you.

The post To err is human, to forgive, divine appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

What is the Catholic Church?

admin — Wed, 13 May 2020 14:31:43 +0000

Amanda Griesbaum is the creator of Following Isidore, where she writes about the Catholic faith, rural life, and recipes from her grannie. She believes the best way to live out God’s two greatest commandments: Love Him and Love your Neighbor, is to learn, practice, and share your faith and do it all with good food! She has not had a neighbor turn away brownies or good conversation.

She was born and raised in Buckeye, making a home in the Show-Me-State. She moved from one Midwest state, Ohio, to another, Missouri, where her husband is originally from. She has three kids, two cats, two dogs, and whatever creatures she happens to acquire. Amanda and her husband are starting their own branch of the family farm while they both teach high school. He is a former Science teacher turned Ag teacher, and she is a former Ag teacher turned Science teacher.

I am fascinated by faith. I have interviewed people from the Hindu, Sikh, Parsi, and Evangelical Christian faiths. The Catholic faith has a special place in my heart. I love cathedrals, art, literature, and baroque architecture, and the Catholic faith is intertwined with my passion. I sit down for a chat with Amanda. In the first part of the interview, we talk about living out the Catholic faith and what that entails, the beliefs, rituals, and dogmas of the Catholic faith, life as a farmer, marriage, and motherhood.

Amanda, I consider it an honor and privilege to interview you. Help me understand what is living out the Catholic faith in rural life means?

As my Rural Sociology professor would say in class, ‘If we recognize that there is a Rural culture, we must recognize that there is an Urban culture.’

And God does the same thing – technically He did it first…

Even Though the Catholic Church is universal in its readings, practices, teachings, etc. (I can attend mass at my home parish, out of state, or abroad, and know what I will be hearing and how to participate.) God still meets us where we are and uses our communities and experiences to teach us and bring us closer to Him.

That to me is beautiful.

In a rural community that may look like having a home canned-goods exchange, blessing of fields, prayers for rain, bonfire get-togethers, talking about hunting and fishing with your Deacons, and introducing your priest to the county fair.

I love it when a new priest arrives at our parish and we get to introduce him to our community!

For someone who has never seen an eight-year-old show a 1200 lbs steer, it’s a bit of a shock. Yet, it demonstrates very clearly the expectation God gave us to have dominion over and care for His creatures. Not to mention the determination and power of a child.

All of these things are where we can share and experience God in a way we understand.

As someone who has lived in rural communities all of her life, we are very close to the cycles of the Earth: its seasons, the cycle of birth and death, sensitivity to the weather, and our reliance on it. We are accustomed to the joys and frustrations of caring for those creatures and land.

We are people of faith and hope.

I use the terms ‘faith’ and ‘hope’ quite a bit. I should probably explain what I mean by those two words. To me they are actionable.

When life becomes difficult you maintain your faith and act in hope. You continue to go to church and pray even when it feels impossible. You still get up every morning and take care of your animals even when the market has bottomed out. You continue to plant year after year not knowing if the weather will be in your favor for the season.

You keep doing because your faith and hope drive you to live your purpose and trust God. You don’t just sit and wait for things to improve because you might be part of God’s plan to make it better for yourself or others. You continue to say ‘Yes’ and take action.

And while country life may seem slow-paced and full of sunsets – and in some ways, it is – it is a life of action, just not in the same way as our Urban counterparts.

We may not be rushing to work just to get stuck in traffic. But I can bet you that farmer in the tractor is moving as fast as he can to get to the next field.

Walk me through the Catholic faith. The beliefs, rituals, dogmas, and how it has helped you?

I wish I had a degree in theology right now! Since I don’t, here are the big ones as far as beliefs/rituals/etc.

The Catholic faith is centered around the Eucharist, the true presence of Christ in the Host (bread) as the Son of God and the Messiah. It is a miracle and a mystery we get to experience every time we attend Mass. It is why we go to Mass – A good homily (sermon) and music are a bonus. We need Jesus with us and in us.

We believe Jesus was conceived in the Virgin Mary by the Holy Spirit. We have a deep love and devotion to Mary because of her ‘Yes’ to God’s will. We see her as being the perfect example of how to love and serve God.

Because we believe in Christ’s death and resurrection, we accept the need to die to ourselves to make room for God’s will. We can do this through the Sacraments of Baptism, Marriage, Reconciliation, Anointing of the Sick, Holy Orders, Communion/Eucharist, and Confirmation. Each of these is a way for us to serve others instead of ourselves. They allow us to be humble and receive the grace of having a deeper formation in the faith through living the life that God intended.

If I could, I would just put the Apostles Creed in here.

The Catholic faith is both a practice of hope and of intellect which is why I love it so much. I rely on my hope of achieving heaven to cause me to learn and act in a way that will help me realize it. It is not a ‘resting’ faith. It is very much a faith of action in devotion, service, and education.

Before my husband and I joined the Church at Easter of 2017, I had always had a love of Jesus (raised Protestant). I also had a curiosity about what else there was to Christianity passed baptism as a ‘ticket’ to heaven. There had to be more.

The Catholic faith encourages learning and curiosity. It feeds my soul and my desire for knowledge without feeling like I am betraying my beliefs. Rather, I find, the more I learn and question, the more my faith and security in Christ and the Church are strengthened.

One very particular practice that I have adopted since joining the Church is attending Adoration. A time that I sit with Jesus where the Host is exposed and is never left alone. We don’t need a repeat of the Garden of Gethsemane.

So I sit and stay awake with Him during my 2 AM weekly date night. (How cool is that? I get to have regular date-nights with Jesus!)

I can feel Him sit with me. And sometimes that is all I do, just sit with Him. More often than not I will journal. It may be about a struggle I am having, something I am grateful for, or just something I want an answer to. I will write and pray. Turns out the Holy Spirit likes to communicate with me through writing, gets me out of my head.

After I write, then I read Scripture. And it has never failed to show me what I need for that night.

And I don’t plan out what I will read, I just close my eyes and open my Bible. It is a beautiful experience and one that I am missing terribly since Covid-19 began and the chapel closed.

Being near Jesus in the Eucharist is only part of being in Communion with Him.

I am continuing to develop my relationship with Him so when I can sit with Jesus again, I will know Him better.

I admire farmers. It is because of their hard work, dedication, and creativity that I get food on the table. Talk to me a little bit about life as a farmer?

Beautiful and tragic.

The ‘FFA Creed’ says it best:

‘I believe that to live and work on a good farm, or to engaged in other agricultural pursuits, is pleasant as well as challenging; for I know the joys and discomforts of agricultural life, and hold an inborn fondness for those associations which, even in hours of discouragement, I cannot deny.’

My husband and I memorized these words when we were in high school as members of the National FFA Organization. Today, as current/former FFA Advisors, these words still hold a place in our hearts. We believe in the tradition of farming and the future possibilities the agricultural industry holds.

We both have that inborn fondness for agriculture. Our parents and grandparents instilled them in us just as theirs did for them.

We have experienced great joy in being part of the ag industry. It gave us our first jobs, created community, and provided us with our purpose: To secure America’s future in agriculture by educating the next generation. This also includes beginning our own branch of the family farm and making it sustainable for our children.

It has also caused us the greatest pain. Jeremy’s father was killed in a tractor rollover accident in the pasture beside our house. We struggle with the loss of him every day. He was the one we were supposed to expand the farm with. He was the one who was supposed to teach us everything. He was supposed to be the one to watch our children grow and be there for them as they learn how to care for the land. We were supposed to watch him grow old. But none of that happened.

Yet, here we are. Still pursuing our goal of farming despite its tragedies and because of love. The love and passion Ralph had for his animals, his land, and the people he served were passed on to us. His charisma and devotion was something you couldn’t help but catch if you were around him.

Even when the markets drop out, a stubborn cow finds a hole in the fence, when we wish the farm ran on a 9-5 schedule, or the worst happens – we will never regret choosing to farm. It gives us everything we need. Time with family and friends, lessons for our children, a home and community, and a respect for God.

I want to know a little bit about your family. How did marriage change you as a person? How did becoming a mother change you? Any surprises along the way?

Fun story, my husband and I met in Washington DC at a leadership conference through FFA. I was from Ohio and just completed my Sophomore year of high school and he was from Missouri and had just graduated high school.

You want to talk about God bringing us together.

This was the first year my FFA chapter had gone to this annual event in decades and this was Jeremy’s last chance to go.

This conference is offered something like 8 different weeks in the summer, with two hotels for each week, with like 500 kids in each, with those divided into like 30 groups.

And we were there during the same week, the same hotel, and the same group. I will let you do the math on the odds.

One two-step and a swing dance later we found ourselves long-distance dating for 3.5 years. Until he moved to Ohio after graduating from college. Then we waited another 2.5 years before we got married.

I had the education to finish and I was worth the wait. He thought so too.

We have been lucky to grow up together. We developed as individuals and as a couple in our time together. That makes it difficult to tell how marriage changed us. What I will say is we appreciated our time together. We didn’t live with each other before marriage so getting married wasn’t just a formality. It was a change. But a natural one that felt right and comfortable.

What did cause a larger shift was becoming parents.

I always wanted kids, like two, but never saw myself as the ‘mothering’ type. Jeremy, however, was very much into being a dad. It was cute and still is. I love catching him in moments with the kids when he is reading to them or playing with them.

It is very attractive and makes me love him more. It also has made me love being a mother. I am now a person who is ‘give me all the babies!’ just pile them on. Which came as a surprise to me! Even with the three that we have now, who are very close in age, and the chaos that comes with it, I still would love more.

Each child, not only my own, is such a precious gift that is full of purpose and potential. I can’t imagine life without that possibility. Which is why, now more so that I am a mom when I see my students who struggle with home, or a child mistreated, or hear of abortion, my heart physically aches knowing what could or should be.

It has also caused me to have a greater devotion to Mary. I love thinking about her as a mother. I love looking at my kids with her in my heart and wonder what it was like to watch Jesus learn how to walk. Did she laugh when he caught a cat by the tail, did she run across a room to fish something out of his mouth, did she hold him and pray for him to fall asleep when he was fussing and she was tired? How did she help form his faith? Did she have patience? Did she feel that same mix of love, wonder, and sadness that all mothers carry?

She helps me every day by showing me how to love her Son and in turn my husband, children, and community. I’m far from perfect but she helps keep me on track – or at least prevents me from going completely off the rails. Motherhood is hard.

The post What is the Catholic Church? appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

What is prayer?

admin — Thu, 25 Apr 2019 12:48:32 +0000

Prayer is a form of communication or supplication directed toward a deity, higher power, or divine being. It is a practice that is often associated with religious or spiritual traditions and is found in various forms across different cultures and belief systems.

In prayer, individuals express their thoughts, feelings, gratitude, requests, or devotion to the object of their worship. Prayers can take many forms, including spoken words, silent thoughts, rituals, or written expressions. The content and purpose of prayers can vary widely, ranging from seeking guidance, expressing gratitude, asking for assistance, seeking forgiveness, or simply fostering a sense of connection with the divine.

Different religions and spiritual traditions have their specific practices and beliefs regarding prayer. In some traditions, prayer may involve specific rituals, gestures, or recitation of sacred texts. In others, it may be more personal and spontaneous. Overall, prayer serves as a means for individuals to connect with their spiritual beliefs, seek comfort, and find a sense of purpose and meaning in their lives.

I talked to Pastor Beth Graf about prayer.

Beth, a pleasure having you onboard. Please share with my audience a little about you?

I’ve been married to my high school sweetheart for 26 years. I’m a mom to two amazing teenagers. I’m a former E.C.E. and Kindergarten teacher. Currently, I’m the Ministry Health Pastor (part-time) at Sanctus Church and a certified Spiritual Life Coach in my private practice. The best part of my life is the incredible adventure of following Jesus Christ for 43 years!

This month you released The Truth About You: God’s Thoughts For You. What is it about? What is the main message? Why should we read it?

I’m thrilled to share that I have recently published a children’s book on Amazon called “The Truth About You: God’s Thoughts For You”. While it’s geared toward younger children, the book is full of “identity-shaping” truths for all ages.

Amazingly, all the words/concepts in this book come from Listening Prayer with my daughter and son when they were 4 to 10 years old. After they would say their bedtime prayers, we would pause and listen to see what the Lord Jesus wanted to say to them in response. I recorded all the simple, profound truths that came to their child’s hearts. Two years ago, the Lord impressed upon me that He wanted other children to know these same truths, so He inspired me to create this book!

There is also a bonus section at the end for Parents/Caregivers to help their children hear from God for themselves. Children can easily hear from the Lord if they are shown how.

I know you were a pastor for prayer and now a ministry health pastor. I want to know what is prayer.

From my experience, prayer is an authentic, ongoing conversation with God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. You speak with honor and transparency to God and He speaks lovingly and truthfully to you.

Your depth of knowing God depends on your choice. Let me explain – To know God the Father and the Holy Spirit intimately, you first must welcome a relationship with Jesus Christ, the Son of God. The reason for this is that Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross is the only thing that makes us perfect and holy again. When we personally accept Jesus’ sacrifice and invite Him into our lives to lead us, God shifts from being outside of us to the inside of us. This internal dwelling of Jesus Christ is what can make our relationship and prayer life more profound and intimate with God. God is no longer, “the universe” or far away, we can know and experience Him profoundly within.

One final thought, to grow in your prayer life requires making it part of your everyday life. Just like exercising your body or brushing your teeth, make it an intentional holy habit. For me now at this point in my life, it’s like I never hang up the phone on God, I’m communicating with Him and He is sharing with me constantly.

Many people treat God like a genie in a bottle and buy into the prosperity gospel. What should we know about prayer? Do we really need it in our daily lives?

When I was first following Jesus, prayer was all about asking God for what I wanted and for Him to help me with my plans. Now after years of following, surrendering to Him, and becoming more like Jesus, my prayers are often, “God, what do You want? Have Your Way. Your kingdom comes, Your will be done.”

I have tried to release God of all my expectations of Him and what I thought was the way He should answer and respond to my prayers. It just led to such disappointment. Yet, what would our world be like if God were obligated to fulfill the will of every human being? That would be disastrous! Thankfully, the LORD is obligated only to His will. So now when I pray, I ask the Lord what He wants regarding situations and people, listen for His answer, and then pray it back to Him. As a result, I see incredible and specific answers to my prayers.

Let’s be honest. Prayer is not natural. Give us some practical examples of how we can get better at it. How we can make it a habit?

We all seem to make time to brush our teeth, why? Because it’s important for our health and we value our smile.

In making prayer a habit, it’s so important to first realize that prayer is incredibly valuable! For some reason, God has chosen to work with humanity to see His will fulfilled on the earth. Prayers that aren’t prayed, won’t be answered by Him. I used to think that God didn’t really need my prayers and that He was just going to do whatever He wanted anyway. However, as I got to know Him and read the Bible, I realized that although He was Sovereign overall, God still decides to use our feeble prayers to usher in His will on the earth (Matthew 7:7).

Once I realized my prayers mattered, it was motivation to make it a habit.

I recommend the following on how to get better at prayer:

Ask the Holy Spirit to teach you how to pray.

Be intentionally aware of God’s presence in your everyday life.

Create a prayer rhythm in your schedule. Start simple with a short prayer time once a day. As you find it beneficial, increase the length of time or frequency. For me, I have an intentional prayer time in the morning, as I get ready, where I give God all that I’m facing that day and ask for His help. Before bed, I also get on my knees and unload all the stresses of my day on Him and pray whatever else the Holy Spirit brings to mind.

Make room for spontaneous prayer in your day. As stuff comes up, have an internal conversation with Him or out loud when you’re on your own.

When you don’t know what to say to God, pray for a Bible verse that resonates with you. The Lord’s Prayer in Matthew 6:9-13 is helpful. Writing/journaling prayers are powerful as well.

Help me understand as a pastor what women’s empowerment means to you.

It means fair opportunity, respect, and an equal voice at the table.

The more I read about Jesus, the more I am impressed. He was always surrounded by women. He cared for the prostitute, and the menstruating woman, and talked to them. This was unheard of in His time and culture. What can we learn from this and apply it to the 21st century?

I don’t fully understand why women have always seemed to be “less than” men – not taken as seriously, marginalized, objectified, covered/hidden, silenced, or poorer. We can truly learn from Jesus who honored women and gave them a voice and significant roles to play in His life story and mission. It was an ordinary teenage girl who was chosen as His earthly mother and a former prostitute who was first given the gospel to share with others that Jesus was alive from the dead.

Jesus empowered the marginalized, those that others would overlook or even reject. He loved them, taught them, and then entrusted them with His mission of sharing the good news of His salvation. Jesus had both male and female followers who were valued and called to fulfill His vision. We’re all in this together.

You have been married for a while and are a mother. Please give my audience three practical tips on being a mother and wife.

As a wife and mother:

Ask God to help you be unselfish and give you wisdom all the time.

Communicate honestly, respectfully, and kindly – treat your husband and kids the way you want to be treated.

Let go of control. There are seasons when children are young and need you to protect them but as they grow, give them space to breathe, discover, and take risks. Don’t feel the pressure to change your husband. Leave him and your kids in the trustworthy hands of God and be free of worrying over them.

Beth, we can read our Bible, trust God, and pray all we want. However, we have to be intentional in dealing with our issues, hurt, pain, anger, resentment, and other challenges. Give me some practical examples of how we can do this.

Forgive others – truly from your heart. When you forgive, it’s not that you are agreeing that what happened to you was right, it’s choosing to let the person off your hook and leave them on God’s hook. Un-forgiveness, bitterness, and resentment take up too much emotional energy. Let it go. You’ll find it so freeing not to keep track of every wrong that has ever happened to you. You’ll have more time to think of other things and feel more positive emotions – anger and bitterness are “joy-killers.”

Forgive God and yourself. In our brokenness, we can hold unforgiveness toward God in our heart for times He let us down and allowed things to happen to us that were painful. Release God of your expectations and forgive Him, it’s just a block in your relationship to Him if you don’t. The truth is He’s perfect, He can’t do anything wrong, it’s our pain that distorts our perception. You can’t be perfect, that’s why Jesus lived a perfect life for us and died for our imperfections, that we would be made right with our perfect Creator God. Let yourself go free of unrealistic expectations and ask for Jesus’ help moving forward.

Let go of shame. It makes us hide from God and others. God made you to shine for Him! Ask Him to forgive you and He will.

Renounce lies you believed about yourself through pain and trauma – lies like I’m fat, I’m ugly, I don’t matter, I’m unworthy, What I have to say isn’t important, unlovable, I’m not good enough or I don’t measure up. Like shame, lies keep us from being all God wants us to be. DON’T HOLD BACK, SHINE!

Know the truth about God and who He really is according to Scripture and know the truth about you and how He sees you. Walking in these truths will set you free.

I know you went through a serious physical challenge a couple of years back. Walk me through how you dealt with it and came out thriving at the end of the tunnel?

When I was 27, I came to a place in my life where I wanted to experience God. I knew about Jesus but I didn’t really know Him – there’s a big difference. In desperation, I cried out to the Lord to encounter me. I wanted to know Him and He came to me. His peaceful presence overwhelmed me and as a result, I learned to love Him and His Word – the Bible. I also gained an intense desire to worship Him and put Him first and began to discern His personal thoughts for me and others.

When I was 41 years, I became very sick and started to lose weight for a whole year. Eventually, I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis (bowel disease) and hospitalized in September 2012. I remember when the GI specialist said, “I think I’m going to upgrade your diagnosis to Crohn’s Colitis”. This was devastating because there is no known cure for Crohn’s disease. It felt like he had dropped 2 tonnes on me and that I’d been given a life sentence.

When he left the hospital room, I immediately cried out to God and this was the memorable dialogue that ensued.

Me: “Lord Jesus, I know that what You say is the truest reality! What do You want to tell me right now? I need Your voice.”

Jesus: “HEALED!” (I was astonished!)

Me: “Do You mean the ultimate healing in death?” (I frankly felt so awful and was in so much pain, I wanted to die).

Jesus: “No.”

Me: “Then when will You heal me, God?” (I wanted His healing yesterday).

Jesus: “Soon.”

Me: “Is that according to Your sense of time or my timeline?”

I never got an answer. But from that moment onward, I clung in faith to His word HEALED even though things didn’t initially change. One important thing I remember doing was not agreeing to the doctor’s diagnosis and owning it. I never said ”I have Crohn’s” or “My disease”, instead I would say, “I’ve been diagnosed with Crohn’s Colitis”. I took God’s word to me seriously and I wasn’t going to agree to anything less than HEALED.

Long story short, listening for His voice got me through such a dark time when I was stripped of everything. I couldn’t even mother my children and had to go stay with my parents for 2 months. I was broken so profoundly but I kept hearing God say to me that He would raise me up and that was the bright light at the end of a dark tunnel. I realized that HOPE is imperative. To not have hope is deathly. His voice was so reassuring and hopeful.

Prayer also helped. So many people at my church and my family were praying for me faithfully. I prayed constantly. On multiple occasions, I was blessed to have people visit and pray over me asking God to heal me. Praying against the enemy of my soul and breaking off his legal claim to me was incredibly beneficial too.

Dealing with my emotional pain, especially fear, was healing for me. Science has proven that our emotional brain is the lining of our digestive system and with Crohn’s Colitis affecting my whole digestive system, addressing my emotional baggage was essential.

But ultimately it was God. I remember the day in July 2015, I had spent a rare 5 days in a row alone with Him. The Holy Spirit lead me in a deep healing experience and I was remarkably set free from a lot of fears in my life and even a spirit of fear. The LORD told me that because I had let Him deal with the root cause of the illness, I could go off Imuran, my medicine. This was very risky because the drug managed the Crohn’s Colitis. But I took a leap of faith and trusted God’s voice over anyone else. That was almost 4 years ago and I’m eating everything. I gain weight and I lose it when I want. I don’t have irritable bowels. I don’t have any further symptoms.

All I can do is praise the LORD and agree with Him – HEALED!!

To sum it up, learning to discern and obey the true voice of the Father, The Son (Jesus) and the Holy Spirit, eating well, exercise, dealing with emotional pain/fears, natural supplements/probiotics, medicine, healing prayer – God used all of it to restore me.

Finally, how do you find balance and place priority in your own life with regard to food faith finance, and family?

I don’t always do this well. It’s tough. I was recently talking with someone and they didn’t like the word balance and it got me thinking. Sometimes there are seasons where you need to give more to your family, sometimes there are seasons when you need to give more to your faith and relationship with God and sometimes you need to focus more on your health.

I don’t know the answer to this, but I do know that the closer I am to God, the more the rest of my life/responsibilities are harmonized.

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