Diwali is the festival of lights celebrated during the Hindu Lunisolar month between mid-October and mid-November. Diwali takes place over five days: Dhanteras, Naraka Chaturdasi, Lakshmi Puja, Govardhan Puja, and Bhai Dooj. On Dhanteras people purchase gold, silver, clothes, and electronic gadgets as a sign of good luck.  On Narak Chaturdasi, people bathe in natural oils and herbal mix and wear clean clothes.  The Goddess of Wealth, Lakshmi is worshipped on this day and the entire home is lit with diyas. There is an exchange of gifts and sweets. Govardhan Puja is dedicated to Lord Krishna as a mark of gratitude. The final day is a day for siblings to get together and shares gifts and blessings.

I talk to Jayshree about Diwali.

Jayshree, welcome to Four columns. Please tell my audience a little about you?

Hi! I’m Jayshree. I’m originally from Mumbai, India and now I live in Windham, NH in the US. 

Tell me about Diwali and what does it represent?

Diwali is the most important festival in India. There are two legends that explain the reason behind celebrating the festival. In North India, it is believed that Lord Ram returned to Ayodhya during this period after defeating the evil demon Ravana who had kidnapped his wife. In Southern India, Diwali is celebrated to mark the day when Lord Krishna killed the demon Narakasura who had abducted and imprisoned many women. In both cases, it represents the victory of good over evil and light over darkness and is celebrated symbolically by lighting Diya (lamps).

Talk to me about Tamilian Diwali?

I’m ethnically a Tamilian. We generally celebrate Diwali early in the morning by taking a cleansing oil bath with sesame oil followed by eating sweets and savories and an herbal ayurvedic concoction to help us digest the rich food. We wear new festive attire and we decorate our homes with Rangoli (floor art) and diya (lamps) and burst firecrackers.

How do you celebrate at Diwali at home?

In the US, I celebrate a more generic Indian version of Diwali. I do the usual stuff like decorating my home with diya and rangoli and I make a few traditional sweets. As I live in a state where fireworks are legal, I call friends over for a fireworks party where we burst fireworks like sparklers, pencils, flower pots, bombs, and rockets. It’s very nostalgic and reminds us of our celebrations in India.

Wow, that sounds like fun. For Christmas, we do trees, decorations, lights, exchange gifts, and have family over. What are some Diwali traditions?

We wear new clothes and exchange sweets and savories with friends and families. For me personally, the most enjoyable tradition is decorating the house beautifully with lamps, lanterns, candles, and floral arrangements. Lighting a diya is a powerful symbol to dispel darkness and invite light into our hearts and homes. I also enjoy making rangoli or floor art with colored rice flour, sand colors, and flower petals.

Tell me a little about Hinduism and how do you practice it?

Hinduism is such a diverse religion that there is no one size fits all. Within Hinduism, if you take one statement to be true, its complete opposite will also be the truth for some of its followers. For me, the beauty of religion lies in the fact that you can make of it what you will. Some people follow a more ritualistic version of the religion. I am intrigued by the philosophical and mystical aspects of religion. At home, I have a small area that serves as a temple and houses idols and pictures of the various Gods and Goddesses. I am an inter-faith person and I like to take what is good from each religion and reject what is outdated and not aligned with my values. I like the fact that Hinduism is a tolerant religion and I also like its complexity but I don’t follow some of the patriarchal practices that make no sense in our modern society.

Do you fast for your husband and his well-being?

I’ve never fasted for my husband and I never will. First of all, fasting for husbands is not a custom followed by all Hindus. As I explained earlier, Hinduism has a lot of diversity and the traditions vary from region to region.  In my community, we don’t fast for husbands. We fast on certain days but the fasts are meant for the Gods and Goddesses.

Explain the Mangal Sutra and the red sindoor on the head?

The Mangal Sutra or Taali is a necklace tied by the bridegroom on the bride on the day of the wedding and the sindoor is a red powder (vermilion) placed by him in the part of the hair. These traditions seal the marriage and traditionally the woman always wore the Mangal Sutra and the sindoor to show her marital status. Again, these customs are not followed by all Hindus. In some parts of India, women only wear sindoor, not the Mangal Sutra and in others, it is vice-versa. To me, this is a patriarchal custom as men don’t announce their marital status. But it could also be explained as customs designed to keep women safe in an era when there were a lot of warriors and show that she was already ‘taken’. For me, they are fashion statements. I usually wear them when I wear sarees or traditional attire as I think they look pretty.

What about the dot in the center of the head?

The dot on the center of the forehead is called the bindi, tikka, or pottu. It is considered to be the mystical third eye. The area on the forehead between the eyebrows is believed to be the sixth chakra or seat of energy and denotes concealed wisdom. There is a belief that no one can hypnotize you if you wear that dot. Men and children also wear tikka. Married women wear a red dot on their foreheads made of vermillion but nowadays the bindi has become a fashion statement and is sold in dazzling colors and shapes as stickers.

How is faith, finance, family, and food important to you and how do you balance them?

The four Fs that you talk about are important to every family. We balance it by devoting quality time to each area and by making it a shared responsibility of every member of the family.

The post What is Diwali appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

New Year’s resolution…..

I am sure we will all remember 2020 for the rest of our lives.

The holiday season is over, and 2026 is here. As you indulge in introspection and look at some of your life choices, New Year’s resolutions are the perfect opportunity to start making changes. As human beings, we create habits. Changing those habits is not easy. It becomes even more difficult if we are not motivated or have a circle of friends who are not positive. To become a beautiful butterfly, it has to go through the egg, larva, pupa, and adult stages.

If we don’t change, we don’t grow. If we don’t grow, we aren’t really living – Gail Sheehy

Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future – John F. Kennedy

New year’s resolutions are not an incentive or stimulus to make across the board changes in character. I suggest you reflect on 2020 and make some positive lifestyle changes. If you recognize a change is required, here are some suggestions on sticking to your new year’s resolutions.

Write It Down

By recording your dreams and goals on paper, you set in motion the process of becoming the person you most want to be. Put your future in good hands – your own – Mark V Hansen

If you write down your New Year’s resolutions and remind yourself daily, you have a better chance of accomplishing them. If you log it in a journal, it helps you keep track of your progress.

Make It Small and Realistic

You have to find out what’s right for you, so it’s trial and error. You are going to be all right if you accept realistic goals for yourself – Teri Garr

Lose weight, exercise more, eat healthy, change jobs, earn more, and travel. These are amazing New Year’s resolutions. However, these are huge goals and you are setting yourself up for failure. Focus on only one goal. Make it realistic and go for it. Do you have the discipline, focus, and commitment to achieve the goal? Remember, you are not trying to overhaul your whole life. You will set yourself up for failure and disappointment.

Make It Exact

A goal properly set is halfway reached – Zig Ziglar

A New Year’s resolution needs to be doable, meaningful, and aligned with your goals and values. Research shows that people fail in their resolutions when it is based not on their choice but on the choices of society or their friends and they do not have a plan.

I love SMART goals. It should be specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound.

Have an Accountability Partner

Most goals people set are not achieved because they are not held accountable for them. When goals are made in private they tend to fall off because people stop being motivated, stop focusing, and stop prioritizing – Bola Onada Sokunbi

You will be more successful in achieving your New Year’s resolution if you share it with someone and be accountable. You have written the resolution on the fridge, it is in your diary, now it is time for someone to know about it and keep you on track.

Reassess Your Goals

Self-awareness requires us to reassess where we came from and where we are going – Kilroy J. Oldster

You have made one or two New Year’s resolutions. As time goes by, re-evaluate the resolution. Is it still unrealistic? Make some changes. Perfection is not the goal. You will stumble along the way. It is normal to have ups and downs in our lives. Always focus on getting back on track.

Enjoy the Accomplishments

Make time to celebrate your achievements no matter how big or small – Unknown

If you set a goal to save 3,000 dollars for the year. After two months, you have only saved $300. You need to celebrate the fact that you are getting better at saving money.

A goal needs to be doable, meaningful, and aligned with your goals and values. Research shows that people fail in their resolutions when it is based not on their choice but on the choices of society or their friends and they do not have a plan.

Find a Support Group

Alone we can do so little, together we can do so much – Helen Keller

There are many real-life and online support forums and groups on social media that are aiming for similar goals. When you join a group it is a community, a sense of belonging, a belief in getting things done, and the willingness to change.

Stay Away from Negativity

Don’t walk away from negative people – run! – Mark Twain

There is a chance that the very people you hang out with are stopping you from changing. If you want to quit smoking, drinking, or any other behavior it is important to stop hanging around an environment that encourages that behavior.

Have a Time-Frame

And the reason for focusing on that time frame is that it’s going to take us a considerable period of time to develop the new capabilities – Stephen Cambone

To be and stay motivated, have a time frame. In a diary have a plan of action for the next 12 months and you decide how often you want to evaluate.

Never Ever Give Up

Never give up. Today is hard, tomorrow will be worse, but the day after tomorrow will be sunshine – Jack Ma

No matter what happens, you should never give up. Stay on the course and stick to your New Year’s resolution.

We have been through so much in 2020. The collective pain will last for a while.

I admire you for making a New Year’s resolution. I admire you for reading this post. Now I want you to meet your goal of achieving your New Year’s resolution. Go for it. Finally, here are some New Year’s resolution ideas:

Exercise more and lose weight

Eat Healthier food

Save money

Be Happier

Get out of debt

Volunteer and give to charity

Forgive

Be more responsible

The post 10 Secrets on How to Achieve Your New Year’s Resolution appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.