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	<title>#hope Archives - Four Columns of a Balanced Life</title>
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		<title>Compassion: A universal law</title>
		<link>https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/compassion/</link>
					<comments>https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/compassion/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[admin]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 28 Aug 2024 13:25:01 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Faith]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#compassion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#hope]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#kindness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#peace]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#wisdom]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[patience]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/?p=28751</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<img width="300" height="157" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/Untitled-Design-2-300x157.png" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="" style="display: block; margin: auto; margin-bottom: 5px;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" decoding="async" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/Untitled-Design-2-300x157.png 300w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/Untitled-Design-2-1024x536.png 1024w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/Untitled-Design-2-768x402.png 768w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/Untitled-Design-2-760x400.png 760w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/Untitled-Design-2.png 1200w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /><p>Compassion is a deep and complex human emotion, a trait that is instinctual and cultivated and plays a pivotal role in the social fabric of our lives.  It is more than just empathy or sympathy. It is a deep awareness of the suffering of another,&#160;<a class="read-more" href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/compassion/">&#8230;</a></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/compassion/">Compassion: A universal law</a> appeared first on <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com">Four Columns of a Balanced Life</a>.</p>
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<p class="gizmo-bot-avatar flex h-6 w-6 items-center justify-center overflow-hidden rounded-full juice:h-8 juice:w-8">Compassion is a deep and complex human emotion, a trait that is instinctual and cultivated and plays a pivotal role in the social fabric of our lives.  It is more than just empathy or sympathy. It is a deep awareness of the suffering of another, coupled with the desire to alleviate that suffering. This powerful sentiment transcends cultural, religious, and societal boundaries, fundamental to human connection and moral integrity.</p>
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<p><a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/empowered-unconditional-love/">Love</a>, <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/joy/">joy</a>, peace, <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/what-is-patience/">patience</a>, <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/act-of-kindness/">kindness</a>, goodness, faithfulness, compassion, gentleness, <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/humility/">humility</a>, <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/authenticity/">authenticity</a>, and self-control are universally appreciated qualities beyond approach.</p>
<p>These qualities are valued because they contribute positively to interpersonal relationships and society. They foster environments where understanding, cooperation, and harmony are more likely to flourish. Cultivating these traits can lead to a more peaceful and productive coexistence, and indeed, there are no laws against such virtues because they universally promote social good. They transcend cultural and legal boundaries, highlighting a shared human aspiration towards a kinder and more compassionate society.</p>
<p>Over the next few weeks, I will focus on these universal qualities and see how they can empower us to be better human beings.</p>
<h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong>Quotes</strong></h4>
<p>More smiling, less worrying. More compassion, less judgment. More blessed, less stressed. More love, less hate. ― <span class="authorOrTitle">Roy T. Bennett</span></p>
<p>Compassion is the basis of morality. ― <span class="authorOrTitle">Arthur Schopenhauer</span></p>
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<p>Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive. ― <span class="authorOrTitle">Dalai Lama XIV</span></p>
<h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong>What is Compassion</strong></h4>
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<p>Compassion involves recognizing the pain or difficulty that another person is experiencing and feeling a genuine concern for their well-being. This emotional response often motivates people to take action to help others, whether through small acts of kindness or larger efforts to address systemic issues. It is rooted in humility and the understanding that suffering is a universal human experience.</p>
<h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong>Compassion in Action to Empower</strong></h4>
<p>Compassion manifests in many ways, from small, everyday gestures to grand humanitarian efforts. You can show it by listening to a friend, offering comforting words, or helping. These small acts, while seemingly insignificant, can profoundly impact the recipient, providing your friend the support and reassurance they need to get through difficult times.</p>
<p>On a larger scale, compassion drives people to engage in charitable work, volunteerism, and advocacy for social justice. It motivates individuals and organizations to address poverty, inequality, and human rights abuses.</p>
<p>Recent studies in neuroscience and psychology have shown that it is not just a social or moral construct but has deep biological roots. The brain’s response to compassion involves areas that are also activated when we experience pleasure or receive rewards, suggesting that acts of compassion are intrinsically rewarding.</p>
<p>Moreover, research has indicated that it can improve mental and physical health. Individuals who regularly engage in compassionate behavior tend to experience lower levels of stress, reduced symptoms of depression, and greater overall well-being.</p>
<h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong>Self-Care</strong></h4>
<p>An important but often overlooked aspect of compassion is self-compassion, the ability to be kind and understanding toward oneself during times of failure or suffering. Many people find it easier to extend it to others than to themselves, but self-compassion is crucial for overall well-being. It involves recognizing that imperfection and difficulty are part of the human experience and treating oneself with the same care and concern that one would offer to a friend.</p>
<h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong>Compassion in a Global Context</strong></h4>
<p>In a world increasingly interconnected by technology and global issues, compassion has never been more important. The challenges we face—such as climate change, pandemics, and social inequality—require collective action and a compassionate response that transcends borders. Global compassion involves recognizing the shared struggles of people across the world and taking action to support those who are most vulnerable.</p>
<p>To combat compassion fatigue, it is essential to focus on the positive impact that compassionate actions can have, no matter how small. It is also important to practice self-care and seek support from others when the emotional burden becomes too great. By maintaining a balance between awareness and action, individuals can continue to contribute to a more compassionate world without becoming overwhelmed.</p>
<h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong>The Role of Compassion in Relationships</strong></h4>
<p>Compassion plays a crucial role in building and maintaining healthy relationships. Whether in friendships, family dynamics, or romantic partnerships, compassion fosters understanding, trust, and mutual support. When people approach their relationships with others, they are more likely to listen empathetically, forgive mistakes, and offer help when needed.</p>
<p>In conflicts, compassion can serve as a bridge to reconciliation. By taking the time to understand the other person’s perspective and responding with kindness rather than anger, conflicts can be resolved more peacefully and constructively.</p>
<h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong>The Challenges of Compassion</strong></h4>
<p>Despite its many benefits, compassion is not always easy to practice. It can be difficult to maintain in the face of personal stress, burnout, or when dealing with individuals who may be challenging or harmful.</p>
<p>One of the challenges is finding the balance between caring for others and caring for oneself. Overextending oneself in the service of others can lead to burnout and resentment, which can undermine the very compassion one is trying to cultivate. It is important to set boundaries and recognize one’s limits, ensuring that compassionate actions are sustainable and do not come at the cost of one’s well-being.</p>
<h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong>How to cultivate it</strong></h4>
<p>Cultivating compassion requires both intention and practice. It involves developing an awareness of others&#8217; experiences, practicing empathy, and taking action to alleviate suffering. This process can be supported by various practices, such as mindfulness, meditation, and engaging in acts of kindness.</p>
<p>Mindfulness involves being present in the moment and aware of one&#8217;s thoughts, feelings, and surroundings. By practicing mindfulness, individuals can become more attuned to the experiences of others and more aware of opportunities to practice compassion. Meditation practices, such as loving-kindness meditation, can also help cultivate a compassionate mindset by encouraging individuals to focus on the well-being of others.</p>
<p>Engaging in regular acts of kindness, whether big or small, can also help build compassion. These acts can be as simple as offering a smile to a stranger, helping a neighbor with groceries, or volunteering at a local charity. By making compassion a regular part of one’s life, it becomes a natural and instinctive response to the world around us.</p>
<p>Compassion is a fundamental human trait that connects us with others and drives us to act for the greater good. It is a powerful force for personal fulfillment, social harmony, and global change. While practicing it can be challenging at times, it is also deeply rewarding and essential for a thriving society. By cultivating compassion in ourselves and encouraging it in others, we can create a more caring, just, and connected world.</p>
<p><img fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" class="alignnone size-large wp-image-28780" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/Untitled-Design-1-1-683x1024.png" alt="" width="683" height="1024" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/Untitled-Design-1-1-683x1024.png 683w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/Untitled-Design-1-1-200x300.png 200w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/Untitled-Design-1-1-768x1152.png 768w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/Untitled-Design-1-1.png 1000w" sizes="(max-width: 683px) 100vw, 683px" /></p>
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<p><a class="a2a_button_x" href="https://www.addtoany.com/add_to/x?linkurl=https%3A%2F%2Ffourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com%2Fcompassion%2F&amp;linkname=Compassion%3A%20A%20universal%20law" title="X" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank"></a><a class="a2a_button_pinterest" href="https://www.addtoany.com/add_to/pinterest?linkurl=https%3A%2F%2Ffourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com%2Fcompassion%2F&amp;linkname=Compassion%3A%20A%20universal%20law" title="Pinterest" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank"></a><a class="a2a_button_facebook" href="https://www.addtoany.com/add_to/facebook?linkurl=https%3A%2F%2Ffourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com%2Fcompassion%2F&amp;linkname=Compassion%3A%20A%20universal%20law" title="Facebook" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank"></a><a class="a2a_button_whatsapp" href="https://www.addtoany.com/add_to/whatsapp?linkurl=https%3A%2F%2Ffourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com%2Fcompassion%2F&amp;linkname=Compassion%3A%20A%20universal%20law" title="WhatsApp" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank"></a><a class="a2a_dd addtoany_share_save addtoany_share" href="https://www.addtoany.com/share#url=https%3A%2F%2Ffourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com%2Fcompassion%2F&#038;title=Compassion%3A%20A%20universal%20law" data-a2a-url="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/compassion/" data-a2a-title="Compassion: A universal law"></a></p><p>The post <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/compassion/">Compassion: A universal law</a> appeared first on <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com">Four Columns of a Balanced Life</a>.</p>
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		<item>
		<title>Joy</title>
		<link>https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/joy/</link>
					<comments>https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/joy/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[admin]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 07 May 2024 13:39:27 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Faith]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#faith]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#happiness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#hope]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#peace]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[joy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[love]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/?p=28320</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<img width="300" height="157" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/Untitled-Design-300x157.png" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="" style="display: block; margin: auto; margin-bottom: 5px;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" decoding="async" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/Untitled-Design-300x157.png 300w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/Untitled-Design-1024x536.png 1024w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/Untitled-Design-768x402.png 768w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/Untitled-Design-760x400.png 760w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/Untitled-Design.png 1200w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /><p>Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, compassion, gentleness, humility, authenticity, and self-control are universally appreciated qualities beyond approach. These qualities are valued because they contribute positively to interpersonal relationships and society. They foster environments where understanding, cooperation, and harmony are more likely to flourish.&#160;<a class="read-more" href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/joy/">&#8230;</a></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/joy/">Joy</a> appeared first on <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com">Four Columns of a Balanced Life</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<img width="300" height="157" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/Untitled-Design-300x157.png" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="" style="display: block; margin: auto; margin-bottom: 5px;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" decoding="async" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/Untitled-Design-300x157.png 300w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/Untitled-Design-1024x536.png 1024w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/Untitled-Design-768x402.png 768w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/Untitled-Design-760x400.png 760w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/Untitled-Design.png 1200w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /><p><a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/empowered-unconditional-love/">Love</a>, <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/joy/">joy</a>, peace, <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/what-is-patience/">patience</a>, <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/act-of-kindness/">kindness</a>, goodness, faithfulness, <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/compassion/">compassion</a>, gentleness, <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/humility/">humility</a>, <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/authenticity/">authenticity</a>, and self-control are universally appreciated qualities beyond approach.</p>
<p>These qualities are valued because they contribute positively to interpersonal relationships and society. They foster environments where understanding, cooperation, and harmony are more likely to flourish. Cultivating these traits can lead to a more peaceful and productive coexistence, and indeed, there are no laws against such virtues because they universally promote social good. They transcend cultural and legal boundaries, highlighting a shared human aspiration towards a kinder and more compassionate society.</p>
<p>Over the next few weeks, I will focus on these universal qualities and see how they can empower us to be better human beings.</p>
<h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong>Quotes about Joy</strong></h4>
<p>Joy is not in things; it is in us. <cite>—Richard Wagner</cite></p>
<p>Some give with joy, and that joy is their reward. <cite>—Khalil Gibran</cite></p>
<p>Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things are. <cite>—Marianne Williamson</cite></p>
<h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong>What is Joy</strong></h4>
<p>It is a positive emotional state characterized by <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/10-secrets-to-happiness/">happiness</a>, contentment, and fulfillment. It is considered one of the most profound and uplifting emotions humans can experience. It can arise from various sources such as achieving a personal goal, experiencing something beautiful or amusing, connecting deeply with others, or even internal reflections and achievements.</p>
<p>Unlike fleeting pleasures, joy often has a more enduring and deeply satisfying quality. It can also be contagious, enhancing the well-being of others around the joyful individual. In psychological terms, experiencing joy can have numerous benefits, including reducing stress, improving immune function, and enhancing overall life satisfaction.</p>
<h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong>Difference Between Joy and Happiness</strong></h4>
<p>Happiness and joy are positive emotions that contribute to our overall well-being but often differ in their sources, duration, and depth.</p>
<p>Happiness is generally considered a broader, more enduring state often linked to circumstances, external factors, and achieving personal or societal goals. It can result from experiencing regular positive emotions, maintaining satisfying relationships, and personal fulfillment. Happiness is often described in the context of life satisfaction, feeling good, and having one&#8217;s desires met.</p>
<p>Joy is usually described as a more intense, but often brief, burst of emotion prompted by an exceptionally positive event or experience.  It can be felt during moments of achievement, spiritual experiences, or while engaging in activities that deeply fulfill. It is associated with a sense of profound gratitude or connection, sometimes to a degree that transcends personal circumstances.</p>
<p>In essence, while happiness can be understood as a more consistent state or an overarching quality of life, joy is more about sudden, intense peaks of positive emotion. It can be a component of happiness, but it can also arise independently of one&#8217;s general state of happiness.</p>
<h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong>Why is Joy Important</strong></h4>
<p>Joy is a profound aspect of human experience that plays several crucial roles in our lives. It helps to counterbalance the stress and challenges of everyday life. Experiencing moments of happiness or joy can provide a necessary break from the negative emotions that can otherwise overwhelm us. It has been linked to various physical health benefits. These include reduced stress hormones, lower blood pressure, improved immune function, and potentially even longer lifespan.</p>
<p>Joyful states promote relaxation and can help mitigate the effects of stress on the body.  These social connections are vital for emotional support and can provide a sense of belonging and community. Joy contributes positively to mental health by enhancing resilience. It enables people to recover more quickly from setbacks and reduces the risk of conditions such as depression and anxiety.</p>
<p>It enriches life&#8217;s experiences, providing immediate pleasures and long-term benefits to our well-being. This makes cultivating it an important endeavor in one&#8217;s life journey.</p>
<h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong>How to use it to impact the community around you</strong></h4>
<p>Joy not only enhances our own lives but can also profoundly impact others and the broader community.</p>
<p>It is contagious. Maintaining a joyful demeanor can lift the spirits of those around you. This positive energy can increase morale and motivation, encouraging others to act kindly and compassionately.</p>
<p>Joyful interactions create bonds between people. Sharing your happiness encourages social connections and builds empathetic and supportive communities. These networks can become platforms for collective action on social issues.</p>
<p>Being joyful even in challenging times can inspire resilience in others. Your example can teach people that despite difficulties, finding moments of happiness can provide the strength needed to persevere and overcome obstacles.</p>
<p>Art and culture are powerful expressions of joy that can raise awareness, change perspectives, and inspire action. Through music, painting, writing, or dancing, creating art that expresses joy can touch hearts and mobilize change.</p>
<h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong>The connection between joy and spirituality</strong></h4>
<p>Joy and spirituality are deeply intertwined, with each element enriching the other.</p>
<p>Spirituality is a direct source of joy. Spiritual practices and beliefs can provide a sense of purpose, connection, and understanding that contributes to well-being and happiness. Whether meditation, prayer, rituals, or community worship, these practices can elevate one&#8217;s mood and bring about a joyful state of being.</p>
<p>Spirituality often offers tools and perspectives that help individuals cope with life&#8217;s challenges. Spiritual beliefs can provide comfort, hope, and stability when facing difficulties. This <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/resilience-stress-management/">resilience</a> contributes to a sustained sense of joy, even in less-than-joyful circumstances, by offering a broader perspective on life&#8217;s ups and downs.</p>
<p>Spirituality often encourages the pursuit of inner peace and contentment that is not dependent on external circumstances. This inner serenity is a crucial aspect of joy that is more steady and enduring than the fleeting happiness derived from material or superficial sources.</p>
<p>Spiritual paths often emphasize personal growth and transformation. Becoming more self-aware and developing virtues such as compassion, patience, and gratitude can lead to profound joy. This is often described as a deeper, more fulfilling type of happiness compared to more superficial pleasures.</p>
<p><img decoding="async" class="alignnone size-large wp-image-28370" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/Untitled-Design-1-683x1024.png" alt="" width="683" height="1024" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/Untitled-Design-1-683x1024.png 683w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/Untitled-Design-1-200x300.png 200w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/Untitled-Design-1-768x1152.png 768w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/Untitled-Design-1.png 1000w" sizes="(max-width: 683px) 100vw, 683px" /></p>
<h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong>Joy from a Biblical perspective</strong></h4>
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<p>Joy from a biblical perspective, is considered a profound, enduring, and spiritual quality that believers experience as a part of their faith in and relationship with God. It is deeper than mere happiness, which can be fleeting and dependent on external circumstances. It is often tied to inward peace and contentment in knowing God’s love and salvation, regardless of external conditions.</p>
<p>Joy is frequently described as a gift from God. The Psalms, for instance, talk about finding it in God&#8217;s presence (Psalm 16:11). The Apostle Paul writes about rejoicing in the Lord always (Philippians 4:4), indicating that the source of Christian joy is the enduring nature of God, rather than the fluctuating conditions of life.</p>
<p>In Galatians 5:22-23, joy is listed as part of the fruit of the Spirit. This means that it is a quality produced in a person by the Holy Spirit. It is not something that believers generate on their own, but it is a result of the Spirit’s active work in their lives.</p>
<p>Biblical joy can coexist with suffering. James 1:2 encourages believers to &#8220;count it all joy&#8221; when they face various trials, suggesting that it comes from knowing that these trials are developing perseverance and spiritual maturity. This perspective is echoed in other scriptures that associate joy with endurance and growth through adversity.</p>
<p>In summary, joy in a biblical context is a complex, robust emotion that transcends circumstances, rooted in the spiritual realities of God&#8217;s presence, actions, and promises. It is both a gift and a response, deeply woven into the life of faith.</p>
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		<title>Live a Life Beyond Fears</title>
		<link>https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/life-beyond-fears/</link>
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		<pubDate>Wed, 13 Dec 2023 13:58:38 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Faith]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#coronavirus]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#courage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#covid]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#faith]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#fear]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#fearless]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#hope]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#horror]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#inspiration]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#mentalhealth]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#selflove]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/?p=4804</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<img width="300" height="157" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Untitled-Design-9-300x157.png" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="living beyond fears" style="display: block; margin: auto; margin-bottom: 5px;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" decoding="async" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Untitled-Design-9-300x157.png 300w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Untitled-Design-9-1024x536.png 1024w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Untitled-Design-9-768x402.png 768w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Untitled-Design-9-760x400.png 760w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Untitled-Design-9-600x314.png 600w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Untitled-Design-9.png 1200w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /><p>I spent most of my life living in fear, playing it safe and staying well within my comfort zone. Two deaths, close together, helped me to realize that I no longer wanted to spend another moment of my life living in fear and playing it safe</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/life-beyond-fears/">Live a Life Beyond Fears</a> appeared first on <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com">Four Columns of a Balanced Life</a>.</p>
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										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<img width="300" height="157" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Untitled-Design-9-300x157.png" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="living beyond fears" style="display: block; margin: auto; margin-bottom: 5px;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" decoding="async" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Untitled-Design-9-300x157.png 300w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Untitled-Design-9-1024x536.png 1024w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Untitled-Design-9-768x402.png 768w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Untitled-Design-9-760x400.png 760w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Untitled-Design-9-600x314.png 600w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Untitled-Design-9.png 1200w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /><p>Living a life beyond fears is a powerful and transformative journey that involves both self-reflection and intentional action.</p>
<p>It is critical to identify and acknowledge the specific fears that hold you back.  Explore the origins of your fears and understand how they may be rooted in past experiences or limiting beliefs. Embrace the reality of your fears without judgment. Acceptance doesn&#8217;t mean resignation; it means acknowledging your feelings without letting them control you. Challenge and reframe negative thoughts that contribute to your fears. Develop and repeat positive statements that counteract your fears.</p>
<p>Take small, incremental steps to confront your fears rather than trying to overcome them all at once.  Enlist the help of friends, family, or a therapist to provide encouragement and guidance as you face your fears. Instead of viewing failures as roadblocks, see them as opportunities for growth and learning.</p>
<p>Remember that overcoming fear is an ongoing process, and it&#8217;s okay to seek professional help if needed. A therapist or counselor can offer guidance and support as you work towards living a life beyond fear.</p>
<p>Cindy Moore is a unique blogger and has a unique take on life. She focuses on living life beyond fears, limitations, and her comfort zone and embraces a sense of wonderment and adventure. She recently started a healing journey. She changed her<a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/miracle-foods-that-protect-you-from-diseases/"> diet</a> and has become healthy. Cindy shares some amazing experiences and her path to living a fulfilled life.</p>
<p><img decoding="async" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-4809" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/IMG_0926.jpg" alt="live beyond fears" width="640" height="610" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/IMG_0926.jpg 640w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/IMG_0926-300x286.jpg 300w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/IMG_0926-560x534.jpg 560w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/IMG_0926-80x76.jpg 80w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/IMG_0926-600x572.jpg 600w" sizes="(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px" /></p>
<h4><span style="color: #cc99ff;"><strong>Cindy, help me understand what it means when you say you are a woman on a journey and living life beyond fears?</strong></span></h4>
<p>I spent most of my life living in fear, playing it safe, and staying well within my comfort zone. Two deaths, close together, helped me to realize that I no longer wanted to spend another moment of my life living in fear and playing it safe. My journey began as an inner one with facing my fears. My decision to move beyond my comfort zone launched a year of trying a new experience every day. My blogging journey began simultaneously as a way to chronicle those new experiences.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #cc99ff;"><strong>You talk a lot about enchantment, surrender, and inspiration. Break it down for me?</strong></span></h4>
<p>After moving beyond my comfort zone, by trying new experiences, my whole life opened up. I recognized that life is meant to be experienced as a magical or enchanted journey and that the Divine offers help and guidance for that journey. I see life differently than I used to and I see signs and wonders everywhere that delight me and encourage me to keep going. Every day I have ongoing conversations with the Divine that lead me to new people, opportunities, and yes, experiences. Surrender involves letting go of the familiar and allowing myself to be carried, in the “Flow of Life”, to those new people, opportunities, and experiences. It involves trust and builds a sense of adventure. I know I’ve moved out of the flow of life when I feel resistance to an opportunity or experience.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #cc99ff;"><strong>Please explain what it means to live beyond fears, limitations, and comfort zone?</strong></span></h4>
<p>Living Beyond, for me, means to move past those fears, limitations, and comfort zones by trusting that the journey meant for me is for my greatest and highest good and also for the good of others in my life. Fear shuts me down and stops me from moving forward. Living Beyond opens me up to possibilities and expands my thinking and perspective so that I can see life in a bigger way. As fresh opportunities arrive, I say “yes”, which moves me beyond my comfort zone as I try new things. Limitations are old ways of thinking and doing things. Going Beyond means I’m willing to open to new ways of thinking and doing things. Comfort zones keep us safe and also keep us from trying something that feels scary or uncomfortable. I believe in living beyond fears.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #cc99ff;"><strong>Give me some examples of embracing a sense of wonderment and adventure?</strong></span></h4>
<p>Embracing wonderment and adventure means living with a higher awareness of all that is going on in my life and seeing the connectedness of all things. Two years ago, I played a game that I created, in which I wrote 30 different activities on slips of paper and dropped them into a jar. Each day I drew out an activity and did it. What I quickly realized was that the activities, drawn at random, perfectly matched the amount of time I had each day or, amazingly, the weather. I only had two rainy day activities in the jar. I drew both of them on the only two rainy days I had during the month. What are the odds of that? That’s wonderment and that’s trust. It’s also the Divine at work in my life. When I asked the Divine, in amazement, “Do you want to play with me?”, the answer I received back was “Do you want to play with ME?” My answer was YES and my life hasn’t been the same since.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #cc99ff;"><strong>What is the main reason for your blog and what are you trying to achieve?</strong></span></h4>
<p>The purpose of Cindy Goes Beyond is to help readers realize that life can be lived at the edges&#8230;of comfort zones, limitations and fears. We can live BIG lives and experience joy, wonderment, and enchantment if we develop higher awareness. I share posts around nature, gardening, travel, and the inner journey&#8230;all with the intention of helping others to see what an enchanted life looks like.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #cc99ff;"><strong>Talk to me about some challenges you have been through and how you dealt with it and are thriving?</strong></span></h4>
<p>I grew up very fearful of many things. However, my primary fear was to live as the person I was created to be. I am an intuitive and yet I feared my abilities and tried to separate that “weird” part of me from my “normal” self. That didn’t work. It only shut down my creative side. Moving past my fears and accepting myself exactly as I am opened the door to my creative side again. And I moved beyond my fears by facing them and sitting with them and exploring my intuitive side. As I learned more about who I am and what I can do, the fears subsided.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #cc99ff;"><strong>Give yourself some advice when you were 16, 26, and 36?</strong></span></h4>
<p>Age 16: Don’t be in such a hurry to grow up. Spend your teen years getting to know yourself. And don’t be so concerned about what other people think. Be you, without hiding, without pretending to be someone else, just so people will feel comfortable around you. You are afraid because you don’t understand who you are.</p>
<p>Age 26: Enjoy these years with your young family. Encourage your son and daughters to be fully who they are, by showing them who you are. They will follow your example. Continue to invest in yourself by doing the things that bring you joy.</p>
<p>Age 36: This is your time to shine, as a woman. Banish any lingering fears and self-doubts and pursue the life you want. Know fully what your purpose in life is and don’t let anything get in your way as you live from that place of intentional being.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #cc99ff;"><strong>What does women&#8217;s empowerment mean to you?</strong></span></h4>
<p>Empowerment for women starts with complete acceptance of who we are. It’s an inner journey that manifests as an outer journey. We must learn to parent ourselves, if we had bad parents, and love ourselves deeply and fully if our spouses/lovers have not done that for us. We cannot look to others to do these things for us. We set ourselves free, and the people in our lives free, when we do not need acceptance and love to come from outside ourselves. Once we are free, we can help to free others to live extraordinary lives.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #cc99ff;"><strong>Give my female audience three pieces of advice?</strong></span></h4>
<p>Accept yourself completely. The journey to self-love begins with self-acceptance. Love yourself fully by embracing who you are and then really live from that space. Be you&#8230;and find the things that you enjoy doing. That is your passion.</p>
<p>Pursue your passion. Share your passion with others as you journey and you will make a difference in the lives of others.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #cc99ff;"><strong>How important are food, faith, finance, and family to you? How do you find a balance and prioritize among them?</strong></span></h4>
<p>They are all connected. The food we eat provides the building blocks for our bodies. The foods we choose can nourish and heal&#8230;or they can slowly poison us to death by fostering disease. I embraced a plant-based lifestyle three years ago, to heal my body of various ailments. There is no turning back for me. I am healthier than I have ever been and living life beyond fears has helped.</p>
<p>A second blog, Journey With Healthy Me was born from that decision to take charge of my health and help others do the same. I’ve discovered that as I healed, my desire increased to help others heal, and then even further out, I developed a deep desire to heal the planet as well. Faith is extremely important to me. I believe God, or the Divine, guides me daily. I listen through prayer and meditation but I also receive through songs, random conversations, signs, and intuition. Finances, or money, comes as we connect with who we are and do that which we are created to do. My family is my legacy. My children and grandchildren learn by my example and through our conversations. It is important for me to live a joy-filled, enchanted life so that they have “permission” to do the same.</p>
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		<title>Occupational therapists</title>
		<link>https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/occupational-therapists/</link>
					<comments>https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/occupational-therapists/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[admin]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 03 Oct 2021 18:59:39 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Faith]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Family]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#breastcancer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#cancer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#cure]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#hope]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#occupationaltherapist]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#research]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#treatments]]></category>
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					<description><![CDATA[<img width="300" height="157" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/Untitled-Design-300x157.png" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="occupational therapists" style="display: block; margin: auto; margin-bottom: 5px;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" decoding="async" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/Untitled-Design-300x157.png 300w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/Untitled-Design-1024x536.png 1024w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/Untitled-Design-768x402.png 768w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/Untitled-Design-760x400.png 760w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/Untitled-Design-600x314.png 600w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/Untitled-Design.png 1200w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /><p>Occupational Therapists play a pivotal role in recovery from any trauma. Satmeen an OT played a pivotal role in helping Debbie. Cancer is the most frightening word in the English language in my personal opinion. In 2016, I lost one of my best and closest&#160;<a class="read-more" href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/occupational-therapists/">&#8230;</a></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/occupational-therapists/">Occupational therapists</a> appeared first on <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com">Four Columns of a Balanced Life</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<img width="300" height="157" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/Untitled-Design-300x157.png" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="occupational therapists" style="display: block; margin: auto; margin-bottom: 5px;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" decoding="async" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/Untitled-Design-300x157.png 300w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/Untitled-Design-1024x536.png 1024w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/Untitled-Design-768x402.png 768w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/Untitled-Design-760x400.png 760w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/Untitled-Design-600x314.png 600w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/Untitled-Design.png 1200w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /><p>Occupational Therapists play a pivotal role in recovery from any trauma. Satmeen an OT played a pivotal role in helping Debbie.</p>
<p>Cancer is the most frightening word in the English language in my personal opinion.</p>
<p>In 2016, I lost one of my best and closest friends to cancer. Bill Mclean sat opposite me for 16 years on the trading desk. In 2018, one of my best friends from university passed away. I was looking forward to 2019.</p>
<p>Debbie showed symptoms of cancer in November 2019. She was diagnosed in January 2020.</p>
<p>I will never forget driving her to the first appointment with the surgeon. The nurse came in and told Debbie she had cancer.</p>
<p>I underestimated cancer. I underestimated chemotherapy and radiation. I underestimated the emotional, mental, psychological, physical, spiritual, and financial costs of cancer.</p>
<p>A cousin had warned me that the toll is tougher on the caregiver. I underestimated that and asked for help.</p>
<p>After a 16 month battle, Debbie is in remission.</p>
<p>During cancer, the patient sees the surgeon, chemo oncologist, radiation oncologist, and various nurses. After radiation treatment then the interdisciplinary team of physiotherapists, kinesiologists, counselors, psychotherapists, and occupational therapists become part of the patient&#8217;s recovery.</p>
<p>Welcome to my series on cancer. I am doing this series not only to benefit women but also I personally believe it will be cathartic for me. I want to write about how to become a better caretaker, how to <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/kindness-respect/">communicate</a> with cancer patients, how to <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/reasons-to-have-a-balanced-diet/">eat better</a>, stories of <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/hope/">hope</a>, patience, <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/resilience-stress-management/">resilience</a>, and <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/attitude-of-gratitude/">gratitude</a>.</p>
<p>My first interview in this series was with <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/fighting-cancer-with-food/">Dr. Reyzan Shali MD</a>, the author of <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Reyzan-Shali-MD/e/B076CPZTCK%3Fref=dbs_a_mng_rwt_scns_share"><em>Teaming up Against Cancer: Powerful Ways to Beat the Odds and Take Your Life Back.</em></a></p>
<p>I now talk to<a href="https://www.lifemark.ca/therapists/satmeen/nagra/2569895"> Satmeen</a> who is an occupational therapist with Lifemark Physiotherapy.</p>
<p>Satmeen graduated with a Master of Science in Occupational Therapy from Queen&#8217;s University after receiving an Honours Bachelor of Science from the University of Toronto. She is a registered Occupational Therapist with the College of Occupational Therapists of Ontario. She is a member of the Canadian Association of Occupational Therapists and the Ontario Society of Occupational Therapists.</p>
<p>Satmeen is actively involved in professional development and has completed courses in concussion management, suicide prevention, cognitive rehabilitation, goal attainment, and seating and mobility. She regularly attends courses and conferences to upgrade her skills.</p>
<p>Satmeen has experience in hospital, clinic, and community settings, providing support for individuals with physical, cognitive, and mental health conditions. She provides assessment and treatment for individuals who are experiencing difficulties performing essential tasks of daily living due to illness and/or injury and assists them to successfully return to gainful employment and/or their normal activities of daily living.</p>
<p>Satmeen was instrumental in getting Debbie back to work and motivate her. I ask Satmeen a few questions about OT, self-care, and having a holistic approach to recovery.</p>
<p><img decoding="async" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-23676" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/IMG_4630.jpg" alt="satmeen" width="1067" height="1600" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/IMG_4630.jpg 1067w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/IMG_4630-200x300.jpg 200w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/IMG_4630-683x1024.jpg 683w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/IMG_4630-768x1152.jpg 768w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/IMG_4630-1024x1536.jpg 1024w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/IMG_4630-600x900.jpg 600w" sizes="(max-width: 1067px) 100vw, 1067px" /></p>
<h4><span style="color: #ff99cc;"><strong><span class="im">Satmeen, welcome to Four Columns. Tell me a little about you and what does an occupational therapist do? </span></strong></span></h4>
<p>Thank you for having me! I&#8217;ve been working as a registered Occupational Therapist for about 4 years now, after graduating with my master&#8217;s in Occupational Therapy at Queen&#8217;s University. Before that, I completed my undergraduate degree in Neuroscience and Psychology at the University of Toronto.</p>
<div>
<p>The best way for me to explain Occupational Therapy is that our focus is on FUNCTION. We provide our clients with strategies and recommendations to be able to function in their daily lives. Essentially, anything you want to do or need to do, an Occupational Therapist can help you get back to those meaningful activities! The word Occupation can be misleading at times and people tend to think it is just based on work. Although that is a piece of it, our scope is broad and we provide treatment to help in all aspects of life &#8211; whether that is self-care, productive activities, or leisure pursuits.</p>
<p>I started my career working in the community, providing home care for individuals. These clients were having difficulty coping with daily activities for a variety of reasons &#8211; sometimes recovering from an illness or surgery to seniors who needed recommendations to help them stay safe at home, or individuals who were approaching the end of their life and needed services to be comfortable at home.  From there I moved into the motor vehicle accident sector, providing treatment to those recovering from a car accident in the community. Since December 2018, I&#8217;ve been working at Lifemark as an Occupational Therapist in the clinic setting. In my practice, I treat individuals from a variety of backgrounds and diagnoses. Our clients are individuals covering from car accidents, trying to get back to work after being on disability, or just trying to get back to their regular life after some sort of illness or accident. I provide treatment for people with physical, mental, and cognitive health concerns, so the treatment is quite variable and broad. ​</p>
<div>
<h4><span style="color: #ff99cc;"><strong>Do you only work with cancer survivors or anyone who is getting back to work?</strong></span></h4>
<p>My practice is broad, so I might assist cancer survivors or any individual who has been off work for any reason to return. But as I mentioned earlier, OT is about function in a broad sense, so although work is a part of it, it isn&#8217;t all of it!</p>
<h4><span style="color: #ff99cc;"><strong>What drew you to this profession?</strong></span></h4>
<p>I was always drawn to health care and knew I wanted to work in this area. When I researched different options, I was drawn to OT because of the meaningful impact it has on people&#8217;s lives. I knew with this profession I could help people get back to the things that matter to them and felt this role was so valuable to someone&#8217;s recovery.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #ff99cc;"><strong>After a long stressful day, how do you take care of yourself?</strong></span></h4>
<p>Great question! Self-care is such an important part of our lives and something I hold sacred. The most important part of self-care is to find what works for you. Everyone is different and that is what makes us unique! So even if something works well for one person, that might not work for the next person, and that&#8217;s okay! Finding our individual balance is key.</p>
<p>I personally like to go for walks, I find this helps me to sort of &#8220;walk the day off.&#8221; I&#8217;ll also listen to some of my favorite podcasts or music, or meditate to help me wind down. I have a close relationship with my husband and family,  so sometimes just talking to them and catching up on the day helps me to destress. Last but not least, a nice warm shower will always help me!</p>
<p><img decoding="async" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-23679" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/Untitled-Design-2.png" alt="self care" width="735" height="1102" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/Untitled-Design-2.png 735w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/Untitled-Design-2-200x300.png 200w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/Untitled-Design-2-683x1024.png 683w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/Untitled-Design-2-600x900.png 600w" sizes="(max-width: 735px) 100vw, 735px" /></p>
<h4><span style="color: #ff99cc;"><strong>Define what women empowerment means to you?</strong></span></h4>
<p>​To me, women empowerment is understanding our own strength and acknowledging this strength. We tend to downplay our strengths or make ourselves appear weaker because we worry about how we might be perceived. As women, we should own our strength and acknowledge that we are not only incredibly strong but brave. Everyone has their own story with their own ups and downs, and that&#8217;s okay, it&#8217;s a part of life to have these ups and downs. What is important is how we cope with these ups and downs and acknowledging the strength we have to overcome barriers.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #ff99cc;"><strong>There are many women out there who are like my wife. They have survived cancer. But there is a whole bunch of healing that needs to take place. How important is it to support the patient emotionally, mentally, and physically?</strong></span></h4>
<p>​It is so important. We are holistic individuals with so many components that make up who we are. If we don&#8217;t treat every part of the person, recovery is slower and not as effective. That&#8217;s why the interdisciplinary team is so important with cancer care &#8211; from doctors, nurses, physiotherapists, kinesiologists, counselors, psychotherapists, and occupational therapists (amongst others), all members are crucial to a cancer patient&#8217;s recovery.</p>
<p><img decoding="async" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-23678" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/Untitled-Design-1.png" alt="cancer care" width="735" height="1102" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/Untitled-Design-1.png 735w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/Untitled-Design-1-200x300.png 200w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/Untitled-Design-1-683x1024.png 683w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/Untitled-Design-1-600x900.png 600w" sizes="(max-width: 735px) 100vw, 735px" /></p>
<h4><span style="color: #ff99cc;"><strong>I am the caretaker for my wife. Give me some advice as a caretaker of a cancer patient?</strong></span></h4>
<p>​Be kind to yourself. Caretaking is a huge task and can be incredibly challenging at times. There are times where we might be hard on ourselves and put a lot of pressure on ourselves as caretakers for our loved ones. Love yourself as you love your loved one. As I mentioned earlier, self-care is sacred and something we need to all maintain. As the caretaker for your loved one, you have dedicated your time and energy to the person you love, but you need to make sure you&#8217;re being your own caretaker as well. As the saying goes, if you don&#8217;t take care of yourself, you cannot take care of anyone else, and it is so true!</p>
<h4><span style="color: #ff99cc;"><strong><span class="im">My daughter is 17. She wants to be an OT like you. Give some advice to her?</span></strong></span></h4>
</div>
<p><span style="color: #201f1e;">Well, it would be a great decision! It&#8217;s a rewarding career and I truly enjoy it. My advice would be to stay open. If you look at your future with an open mind it will lead to more self-growth and discovery. </span></p>
</div>
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		<title>Kevin Robbins: Minister Focusing on Radical Optimism</title>
		<link>https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/minister/</link>
					<comments>https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/minister/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[admin]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 08 May 2021 14:21:07 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Faith]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Family]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#happiness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#hope]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#inspiration]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#motivation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#optimism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#optimistic]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#positivevibes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#positivity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[love]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/?p=23138</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<img width="300" height="157" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/Untitled-Design-300x157.png" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="minister" style="display: block; margin: auto; margin-bottom: 5px;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" decoding="async" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/Untitled-Design-300x157.png 300w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/Untitled-Design-1024x536.png 1024w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/Untitled-Design-768x402.png 768w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/Untitled-Design-760x400.png 760w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/Untitled-Design-600x314.png 600w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/Untitled-Design.png 1200w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /><p>I have a deep respect and admiration for a minister (evangelist, pastor, cleric, chaplain, missionary, priest, rector, preacher, Reverand). The job of a minister is tough and demanding. It can be satisfying from an intrinsic perspective. However, there are metrics to deal with. The modern-day&#160;<a class="read-more" href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/minister/">&#8230;</a></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/minister/">Kevin Robbins: Minister Focusing on Radical Optimism</a> appeared first on <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com">Four Columns of a Balanced Life</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<img width="300" height="157" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/Untitled-Design-300x157.png" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="minister" style="display: block; margin: auto; margin-bottom: 5px;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" decoding="async" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/Untitled-Design-300x157.png 300w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/Untitled-Design-1024x536.png 1024w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/Untitled-Design-768x402.png 768w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/Untitled-Design-760x400.png 760w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/Untitled-Design-600x314.png 600w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/Untitled-Design.png 1200w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /><p>I have a deep respect and admiration for a minister (evangelist, pastor, cleric, chaplain, missionary, priest, rector, preacher, Reverand). The job of a minister is tough and demanding. It can be satisfying from an intrinsic perspective. However, there are metrics to deal with. The modern-day minister has to be a CEO, CFO, COO, orator, shepherd, counselor all in one. The spotlight is always on the minister and their families. The profession is fraught with risks, temptations, challenges, difficulties, and burnout. How do you measure the transformation of the heart, the alteration of lives, and ministry effectiveness? The exercise of faith, hope, love, forgiveness, and having a healthy congregation is hard to compute. However, it is these very concepts that the minister is trying to move forward in the congregation.</p>
<p>I have had the privilege to interview <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/from-success-to-significance/">David Adams</a>, Senior Pastor at Stone Ridge fellowship on moving from success to significance, <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/joanna-lafleur-21st-centurys-aimee-mcpherson/">Joanna Lafleur</a> from the TV show See Hear Love on communication, <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/the-true-meaning-of-christmas/">Jonathan Manafo</a> from The Village Whitby on Christmas, Pastor <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/what-is-prayer/">Beth</a> on prayer, <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/pastor-mark-strickland-practical-advice-on-dating-and-marriage/">Mark Strickland</a> minister from the People Church on dating, <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/lorie-hartshorn/">Lorie Hartshorn</a> from 700 Club Canada on faith, <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/creative-leadership/">Chris Vacher</a> minister on creative leadership and <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/faith-hope-love/">Gillianne</a> Brisboise from the Church of Christ on love in action.</p>
<p>I am excited to interview Kevin Robbins, a senior minister from Milestone Ministries. I met Kevin more than 25 years ago when his father-in-law used to mentor me. I have always found Kevin to be a down-to-earth, humble, a great listener, and a man who loves his wife, daughters, and mother-in-law. Kevin does not let the past define him. He is focused on the future, making it a better place, creating value for other humans, and making a difference.  I had not seen him for more than a decade and then ran into him at a party. We talked in detail about getting help in different areas of life. Kevin is introspective and is always looking at how he can get better. I admire how he has pivoted his organization through the challenges of COVID-19.</p>
<p>Kevin is real and vulnerable in this interview. As a minister, a father, and a husband he has come out on the other side thriving. I am super encouraged by this interview and I hope you read it a couple of times and apply the golden nuggets to your life.</p>
<h4><strong>Kevin, an honor to have you on Four Columns. I want my audience to know a little about you?</strong></h4>
<p>Everyone has a launchpad in life that shapes who they are. Mine was growing up in rural northern Canada. We were a family of six that subsisted well below the poverty line. Living in a small log cabin with no water and electricity and my family was burdened by many internal and external stressors that included chronic unemployment, social marginalization, domestic disputes, <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/addiction-and-getting-help/">alcoholism</a>, and significant <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/youth-mental-health/">mental</a> health issues.</p>
<p>This foundational stage of my life created a desire to find meaning and value for the remainder of my days and I’m blessed to be on a journey with the love of my life Lisa. We have two married <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/discover-10-life-lessons-my-daughter-has-taught-me-so-far/">daughters</a> that have launched vibrant careers. I have become a church-planter and church-builder over the last 30 years, have lived in Los Angeles, Vancouver, Halifax, and Toronto received a Masters&#8217;s degree, become an <a href="https://wildmarriage.com/">author</a> and motivational speaker that focuses on the best life everyone should be living.</p>
<h4><strong>You have been a minister for three decades. It is a tough, grueling job. What drew you to become a minister and what is your why?</strong></h4>
<p>Most people in church ministry will tell you that they felt “a calling” to the job and I suppose I am no different. But since that phrase is somewhat cliche, my specific answer would be to give. Early in my life, I decided the life that makes the most sense for me was to create value for others.</p>
<h4><strong>You have been married for three decades. I want to know the practical secrets of having a strong and vibrant marriage like yours?</strong></h4>
<p>Lisa and I love being married, in fact, other than our faith and the kids that came as a result of our marriage, love and our <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/12-diamond-rules-of-marriage/">marriage</a> is our most favorite thing in life!</p>
<p>In my opinion, having a strong and vibrant <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/interview-with-tara-lalonde-author-of-an-unexpected-freedom-discover-peace-and-joy-in-the-meaning-of-life/">marriage</a> is not hard at all. The secret is the priority. None of us need to be lectured about priorities, we all have a couple of things in life that are the most important to us proven by the amount of time, thought and effort we put into them. The hardest part of<a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/betsy-kerekes/"> marriage</a> is deciding if it will rank as your highest priority…if you are willing to prioritize, your commitment to each other gets a lot easier.</p>
<p>Before the pandemic of 2020, Lisa and I traveled and gave keynote lessons at <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/love-dating-relationship/">marriage</a> conferences around North America. When the world shut down, on the suggestion of some close friends we launched weekly episodes on YouTube called Marriage Monday. We were amazed at the hundreds and sometimes thousands of couples that joined the live stream and still do each week.</p>
<p>During the height of the lockdown, we wrote a book called<a href="https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B08WZ4NXS4/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_ZMXTM2Q1SNFH21SD9N36?_encoding=UTF8&amp;psc=1"> <em><u>Stay Home Marriage</u></em><u>, <em>How to Stay In Love Before, During and After a Global Pandemic</em></u></a><em>. </em>We kept the book short and fun, and it was a rewarding experience. We especially have enjoyed seeing how it has connected and resonated with couples around the world. The premise of the book is based on the simple idea that life, health, career, and legacy are enhanced when you make your marriage a priority. You can find out more about it and link to our <a href="https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLjwGRRPuFvzIqSH21rCURMy4Ei7Pl1nXl">videos</a> at wildmarriage.com.</p>
<p><img decoding="async" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-23156" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/Untitled-Design-1.png" alt="" width="735" height="1102" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/Untitled-Design-1.png 735w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/Untitled-Design-1-200x300.png 200w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/Untitled-Design-1-683x1024.png 683w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/Untitled-Design-1-600x900.png 600w" sizes="(max-width: 735px) 100vw, 735px" /></p>
<h4><strong>What are some of the secrets of living with three women? I live with two and sometimes or many times I have to keep my sarcastic humor to myself?</strong></h4>
<p>I’ve heard the urban legend that boys are easier to raise than girls because girls are too complex when they become teens. I don’t believe it, I’ve always thought “God knew what he was doing when he gave me daughters, not sons.”  For me, boys are just too loud, smelly, and end up breaking most of your most expensive stuff!</p>
<p>Seriously, there’s no doubt that eventually, the male and female worldviews come into conflict with one another when you live under one roof. If a man’s brain is a waffle and a woman’s brain is spaghetti (or whatever metaphor is most trendy right now) there are going to be a lot of opportunities for bumps within our interactions. <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/patience-is-the-mother-of-all-virtues/">Patience</a> and communication are the lynchpins to keep everyone connected.</p>
<p>Lisa serves as an interpreter in our family, and she educates me as to why my very logical statements (IMO) don’t make sense to the girls, why my sarcasm isn’t actually funny but caustic to the women in the house, or why whenever I’m asked what I am feeling and I say, “I dunno, nothin’”, that is inconceivable to the women of my family!  I know my wife works equally hard explaining the intricacies of the male brain to my daughters because I often see them huddle to decipher and debrief after one of my family-famous pontifications about the way the world should be.</p>
<h4><strong>Fatherhood changed me forever. What did you learn from fatherhood?</strong></h4>
<p>I appreciate my father. I think about him often. He had a very difficult life. He suffered from severe mental health issues and when I was 13 years old, he died of <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/how-to-deal-with-a-friends-suicide/">suicide</a>.</p>
<p>One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned from fatherhood is that negative cycles can be broken. In fact, for the sake of my children, negative cycles must be broken. I have no patience for self-pity that manifests itself in fatherhood that pulls back from the spouse and kids only to get lost in the perpetual adolescence of work, sports, or hobbies that ultimately exclude family. To me, there are only two things more important than my children, my faith and their mother. Everything else, albeit fun, is way down the list of important.</p>
<h4><strong>Talk to me about how we can become better fathers, husbands, brothers, and just ethical men in our culture?</strong></h4>
<p>It’s my observation that every father, husband, and brother will eventually reach a crossroad moment to take a stand on principle or collapse into a character deficit. This becomes not only a defining moment personally, but it shapes your legacy impact on all who are connected to you. I think being a principled person is how to become “better”.</p>
<p>Most claim to have bed-rock principles, but few live it out. It is ironic that adults usually think the height of peer pressure happened in their teen years, but we all know it’s alive and thriving now…among C-suite corporates, marketing, sales, laborer’s and even in those of the church-attending crowd.  Worry about status, standing, and what others think and say about us will eventually gut our ethics and we soon find we’re moving the goalposts of what is and is not integrity.</p>
<p>Admittedly, taking a stand on principle can lead to a lonely place. It may result in devastating disappointment when even those you have considered allies and friends turn from you or worse, on you. I’ve seen many men decide it’s too much of a price to pay, but if you’re asking how you as a solitary participant in this life can exact ethical change, this is how you do it; demand integrity over the illusion of popularity.</p>
<p>I have a sticky note at my desk that I read often, “One of the truest test of integrity is its blunt refusal to be compromised.” &#8211; Chinua Achebe</p>
<h4><strong>Faith is very important to you. Talk to me about the practical aspects of your faith. How can we use unconditional love, forgiveness, compassion, gentleness, peace, patience, and gentleness in this world that is hurting?</strong></h4>
<p>Yes, faith is very important to me. I consider it first among my top three priorities of life. I’ve devoted my life in pursuit of understanding who God is and equally complex, who I am supposed to be (still working on that concept!). It has not always made for an easy journey, but faith continues to be my most treasured possession.</p>
<p>You mentioned love, forgiveness, compassion, gentleness, peace, patience, and gentleness, I call these the <em>Big 7</em>. As humans, we are undeniably drawn to this list and we search for a safe place where we will be treated with such generosity. But offering the Big 7 consistently to others around us is usually quite difficult.</p>
<p>The word gospel in Greek is <em>euangelion</em> and it means simply “good news”. I believe this good news is summed up in the Big 7. At any given time there seems to be so much in this world that is out of control or getting worse, we can barely understand it all and we certainly can’t control it all, but at the very least, we can choose to drop in any of the Big 7 and good news makes an impact to any hurting place in this world.</p>
<p>I hear of some of my contemporary ministers deriding society, crying for the morality of days gone by and adding to theories that lend themselves to conspiracy. I don’t see it the same way. It is a historical fact that the <em>euangelion</em> always endures in every changing season. If things get dark, the good news will be light. When life becomes sorrowful, the good news will offer joy. When regret rules the day, the good news gives a new start.</p>
<p>The good news of unconditional love, forgiveness, compassion, gentleness, peace, patience, and gentleness always win the day. It may take a while…but always wins. The only question is, will I give the Big 7 away to others?</p>
<p><img decoding="async" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-23158" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/Untitled-Design-2.png" alt="minister" width="735" height="1102" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/Untitled-Design-2.png 735w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/Untitled-Design-2-200x300.png 200w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/Untitled-Design-2-683x1024.png 683w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/Untitled-Design-2-600x900.png 600w" sizes="(max-width: 735px) 100vw, 735px" /></p>
<h4><strong>Walk me through a typical day as a minister and what are the modern challenges that a minister faces today?</strong></h4>
<p>The typical day of a minister is atypical. My congregation has over a thousand active members, so it is not unusual for my day to begin with concise plans and appointments that suffer a slow death by way of interruption. I don’t say that with any resentment, it is just that anyone who wants to operate successfully in the business of people needs patience and a desire to bring value to others often over structured goals.</p>
<p>That said, a typical day usually begins early with reading, study, and prayer followed by connecting with those in the community who are in need. The business hours of the day often hold preparation for sermon series, lessons, and teaching classes, training interns, and mentoring younger ministers and staff. There is an administration team to attend to, worship teams, digital teams, and social media teams. The later part of the day usually allows the opportunity to meet with those requesting life direction and counseling. Of course, there is always the rhythm of church meetings like Sunday services, midweek meetings, weekly small group gatherings, board of directors meetings, elders and deacon meetings and the list goes on. Most days are physically and emotionally taxing, but I enjoy them. I have a dear uncle who every time he sees me is compelled to tell the same tongue-in-cheek joke, “Ministers have the best job in the world because they only work one hour a week on Sunday morning.” I politely laugh each time he says it, but I can assure you, it’s far from an accurate characterization.</p>
<p>In 2020 churches, like every other organization, have leaped into the digital world. Because of COVID-19, there was no “learning curve”, it was more like a “learning rock wall” …straight up and a lot of bruises when you fall! Most ministers I know are exhausted after more than a year trying to find, listen, help, encourage, laugh and cry with their members. Measurements for success in a church are arbitrary metrics, at least difficult to define on an excel spreadsheet.</p>
<p>No one knows for sure what “church” will look like on the other side of the pandemic, but I’m certain it will be different. Between you and me, I think that’s kind of exciting and I look forward to it!</p>
<h4><strong>Let&#8217;s talk food. What are some of your favorite haunts in Toronto?</strong></h4>
<p>I live in one of the most cosmopolitan cities in the world and it offers a gastronomic celebration everyday…if you’re adventurous enough! Honestly, because I live in Toronto it feels like my favorite restaurant haunt changes weekly, but right now it is Drupatis, offering West Indian fare and my personal favorites are called Doubles, small pastry pockets filled with a chickpea filling. Way better than it sounds. You gotta try it!</p>
<h4><strong>2020 was a brutal year for me. There are many who are reading this who are hurting. As a minister talk to me about hope, persevering, overcoming evil with good, and staying focused?</strong></h4>
<p>There is no denying that 2020 and the beginning of 2021 have been difficult for everyone. The truth is, we don’t even know the entire story yet. I’m sure over the next decade researchers will give us statistics that reveal the massive challenges we all endured in the economy, education, politics, mental health, marriage, parenting, and our physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. Not to mention that we are literally living out an experiment in real-time regarding the impact of social media and screen-time usage. We are present-day over-comers if we know it or not.</p>
<p>This last year forced Lisa and me to deeply examine how we evaluate the world around us. It was getting too easy to become discouraged, despondent, cynical, and hopeless. So, we asked ourselves why and then we wrote the first chapter of our book and gave it the title “Porch Pirates and Other Thieves”. In short, it is an exploration of the importance of radical optimism and refusing to let life’s outward circumstances steal from the life you can be living.</p>
<p>Among the most encouraging ideas is that you play a role in changing the way you think, in fact, you must. It’s not just embracing a disconnected pollyanna view of your life or white-knuckling your way through the difficult times, but it is literally rewiring your brain through neuroplasticity.  Every single thought, whether positive or negative makes a lasting connection, so why not make the thoughts good?</p>
<p>As a minister I love the way our society’s ground-breaking brain research is matching some ancient Biblical advice, “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” &#8211; Philippians 4:8</p>
<p>Whatever you do, never forget there’s a lot of good around you. Think about it.</p>
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		<title>Faith, Hope &#038; Love in Action</title>
		<link>https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/faith-hope-love/</link>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[admin]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 01 Jan 2021 15:11:16 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Faith]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#believe]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#faith]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#happiness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#hope]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#inspiration]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#peace]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#pray]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[blessed]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[love]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/?p=22631</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<img width="300" height="157" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/Untitled-Design-4-300x157.png" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="faith hope love" style="display: block; margin: auto; margin-bottom: 5px;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" decoding="async" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/Untitled-Design-4-300x157.png 300w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/Untitled-Design-4-1024x536.png 1024w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/Untitled-Design-4-768x402.png 768w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/Untitled-Design-4-760x400.png 760w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/Untitled-Design-4-600x314.png 600w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/Untitled-Design-4.png 1200w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /><p>Faith, Hope &#38; Love sustained me through 2020. Well! Hindsight is always 20&#124;20. I can relate to Saint Augustine when he said &#8220;Faith is to believe what you do not see; the reward of this faith is to see what you believe&#8221;. As I saw my&#160;<a class="read-more" href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/faith-hope-love/">&#8230;</a></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/faith-hope-love/">Faith, Hope &#038; Love in Action</a> appeared first on <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com">Four Columns of a Balanced Life</a>.</p>
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										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<img width="300" height="157" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/Untitled-Design-4-300x157.png" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="faith hope love" style="display: block; margin: auto; margin-bottom: 5px;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" decoding="async" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/Untitled-Design-4-300x157.png 300w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/Untitled-Design-4-1024x536.png 1024w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/Untitled-Design-4-768x402.png 768w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/Untitled-Design-4-760x400.png 760w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/Untitled-Design-4-600x314.png 600w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/Untitled-Design-4.png 1200w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /><p>Faith, Hope &amp; Love sustained me through 2020. Well! Hindsight is always 20|20.</p>
<p>I can relate to Saint Augustine when he said &#8220;Faith is to believe what you do not see; the reward of this faith is to see what you believe&#8221;. As I saw my wife&#8217;s body ravaged by cancer and the brutal impact of chemo, I was clinging to my faith. As she lay in bed for days after each treatment, I kept rubbing her back, maintained human touch, and hung on to what Martin Luther King, Jr. said: &#8220;We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope&#8221;. As the community cooked for us, served us, drove Debbie to her appointments, and helped us financially, I was reminded of &#8220;Give your hands to serve, and your hearts to love&#8221; by Mother Teresa.</p>
<p>That sums up my 2020. How was your 2020? Lost a job, a loved one, your home, marriage, spouse, child, pet, or the equity in your condo. Do not give up<a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/hope/"> hope</a>. Have faith and love unconditionally. Faith is the greatest asset we have. Hope ends when you stop believing. Love ends when you stop caring.</p>
<p>The mission of Four Columns is to focus on food, faith, finance, and family empowering and inspiring women to live a balanced life in the 21st century. The vision is to make a difference in the lives of one million women in a decade. The theme for 2021 at Fourcolumns will be  Hope.</p>
<p>Read this interview, take just one point and apply it to your life. I want to apply love in action.</p>
<p>A final salvo. If you are a male reader who is in a leadership position in the religious landscape then the time has come to invite women to the table. Give them a voice. Listen to understand not to speak. Women are breaking the glass ceiling in every industry. Women are outperforming men in universities across North America. Create a ripple and make a difference. Leave a legacy for the next generation of women.</p>
<h4><em><b>Gillianne, welcome to Four Columns. I want my audience to know something important about you?</b></em></h4>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I don&#8217;t know anything necessarily important about me, but I&#8217;d say that I&#8217;m a simple person who prefers being in the background while supporting others. I love teamwork and achieving things together. I&#8217;m known as &#8216;Mama G&#8217; to the kids in our <a href="https://www.oasishaiti.org/">orphanage</a> in Haiti that we started about 4 years ago, as well as to those in the surrounding community there. I love music and singing &#8211; it helps bring me closer to God. I’m also a sucker for ol’ sappy love songs. I appreciate the calm around me, but yet still love having fun.</span></p>
<h4><b><i>You have been in the ministry for a quarter of a century. Was it always your dream or goal? What drew you to it?</i></b></h4>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">No, it wasn&#8217;t always my goal (I’m actually a ‘numbers’ gal at heart – <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/meira-dholakia-who-says-accountants-are-boring/">accounting</a>). I was asked to be an intern in the ministry, by the couple who was leading the church at the time. I loved God and I loved people &#8211; so it seemed like a great opportunity to combine the two. Though there have been hard times during the years, I&#8217;ve never looked back or pursued anything else, and I don&#8217;t regret my initial choice. I love being able to help and to see God&#8217;s Word change people&#8217;s life. It&#8217;s inspiring and faith-building for me too.</span></p>
<h4><b><i>Burnout is high in the ministry. Talk to me about some of the boundaries you have used and how you take time for self-care?</i></b></h4>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Great question &#8211; it&#8217;s so true! I believe we were taught back in the day, that much of the responsibility of others&#8217; spiritual life, rested on our (ministry leaders&#8217;) shoulders. I understand the<a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Galatians+6%3A2&amp;version=NIV"> Bible</a> says that we need to carry each other&#8217;s burdens, but, personally, I think we (me included) relied more on ourselves than on God. Now, I try to just </span><b>love people to Jesus</b><span style="font-weight: 400;">, rather than trying to &#8216;fix them myself.&#8217; Now, I don&#8217;t feel guilty if I need to say &#8216;no&#8217; to something or someone. I take time for me to get recharged &#8211; doing things I enjoy (movies, singing, discovering new dishes to cook&#8230;), getting massages, reading spiritual books &#8211; while still trying to work hard for God and others. I know exercise is good too but I can be lazy.</span></p>
<p><img decoding="async" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-22676" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/Untitled-Design-3-2.png" alt="faith" width="735" height="1102" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/Untitled-Design-3-2.png 735w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/Untitled-Design-3-2-200x300.png 200w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/Untitled-Design-3-2-683x1024.png 683w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/Untitled-Design-3-2-600x900.png 600w" sizes="(max-width: 735px) 100vw, 735px" /></p>
<h4><b><i>How has marriage changed your life? Were there any surprises?</i></b></h4>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I&#8217;m so grateful that God gave me a passionate and visionary man who would sometimes help take me out of my comfort zone and live life to the full for God (even while digging my heels in the ground at times!). One of our favorite books is &#8220;Sacred Marriage&#8221; by Gary Thomas. Its preface is, &#8216;What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy.&#8217; This was a shock to me because before I became a Christian (and even a bit deep down in my heart after I became a Christian), I always thought my husband was supposed to make me happy. Through our 21 years of marriage, God’s given me opportunities to be <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20Corinthians%2013&amp;version=NIV">more like</a> Jesus (holier), as I face disagreements, disappointments, and challenges in our <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/interview-with-tara-lalonde-author-of-an-unexpected-freedom-discover-peace-and-joy-in-the-meaning-of-life/">marriage</a> at times (ex. me needing to be more <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/betsy-kerekes/">patient</a>, <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/12-diamond-rules-of-marriage/">selfless</a>, <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/love-dating-relationship/">kind</a>, <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/pastor-mark-strickland-practical-advice-on-dating-and-marriage/">respectful</a>, not nagging)</span><span style="font-weight: 400;">.</span></p>
<h4><b><i>Talk to a 16, 25, and 30-year-old female as to what are some of the core qualities they need to see in a guy for a long, sustainable, and successful marriage?</i></b></h4>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I believe there are many qualities, but to me, these two are very important &#8211; someone who is: (1) a </span><b>TRUE DISCIPLE OF JESUS</b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> who will help you to get to heaven. Someone can be the nicest, cutest, smartest, richest, or generous man; but if he doesn&#8217;t love God and doesn&#8217;t strive to follow God with his whole heart, then it&#8217;s not worth choosing to be with him here on earth, more than choosing to be with Jesus in heaven for <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke+9%3A24&amp;version=NIV">eternity</a> (2) a </span><b>HUMBLE</b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> man: who’s willing to see the things he needs to change, not thinking that he knows everything, seeks and takes advice. There are other things but I believe if you&#8217;ve got these two, many other things will fall into place.</span></p>
<h4><b><i>You are raising two teenagers. I am sure motherhood has changed you. Walk me through that process. Give my audience some practical tips on raising teenagers?</i></b></h4>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I can honestly say that I not only love my kids, but I LIKE them. One of the things that has helped me to persevere through hard times with them, is to focus on their <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/top-ten-parenting-tips/">strengths</a> and talents, rather than on their weaknesses, shortcomings, and things that make me want to scream, which unfortunately seem to be so much easier to see. I try to LISTEN to them, ASK THEM their <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/raising-kids-with-purpose/">opinions</a> and what they think about things, TAKE TIME to have <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/four-practical-tips-on-how-to-be-great-parents/">dates</a> with them individually (including sometimes doing things that they like to do, even if I don&#8217;t), BE VULNERABLE and open with them about my own challenges (with discernment), TREAT THEM LIKE ADULTS (influence them rather than tell them what to do), and HAVE FUN/laugh with them. Remember, this is what I STRIVE to do &#8211; I don&#8217;t do it perfectly. Just ask them &#8211; they&#8217;ll tell ya&#8217;. LOL</span></p>
<h4><b><i>2020 was a tough year, is an understatement. I want you to give my audience hope?</i></b></h4>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">There are so many, but these three scriptures often help me in hard times and give me hope: </span></p>
<p><span style="color: #800080;"><strong>Philippians 4:11-13: </strong></span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;"><span id="en-NIV-29454" class="text Phil-4-11"><sup class="versenum">11 </sup>I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.</span> <span id="en-NIV-29455" class="text Phil-4-12"><sup class="versenum">12 </sup>I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.</span> <span id="en-NIV-29456" class="text Phil-4-13"><sup class="versenum">13 </sup>I can do all this through him who gives me strength.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color: #800080;"><strong> Romans 15:13:</strong></span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;"> <sup class="versenum">13 </sup>May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.</span></p>
<p><span style="color: #800080;"><strong>Habakkuk 3:17-19:</strong></span></p>
<div class="poetry top-05">
<p class="line"><span id="en-NIV-22786" class="text Hab-3-17"><sup class="versenum">17 </sup>Though the fig tree does not bud </span><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Hab-3-17">and there are no grapes on the vines, </span></span><span class="text Hab-3-17">though the olive crop fails </span><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Hab-3-17">and the fields produce no food, </span></span><span class="text Hab-3-17">though there are no sheep in the pen </span><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Hab-3-17">and no cattle in the stalls,</span></span><br />
<span id="en-NIV-22787" class="text Hab-3-18"><sup class="versenum">18 </sup>yet I will rejoice in the <span class="small-caps">Lord</span>, </span><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Hab-3-18">I will be joyful in God my Savior.</span></span><sup class="versenum">19 </sup>The Sovereign <span class="small-caps">Lord</span> is my strength; <span class="text Hab-3-19">he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, </span><span class="text Hab-3-19">he enables me to tread on the heights.</span></p>
</div>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It&#8217;s a good thing that our happiness/joy does NOT depend on our circumstances, or we could be victims of our situations and have no hope. I&#8217;ve gotten this far in my life with God (I was baptized on January 13, 1991) because <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/attitude-of-gratitude/">GRATITUDE</a> &amp; TRUSTING GOD have motivated me; that has given me HOPE! God is so amazing &#8211; no matter where we&#8217;re at or what we&#8217;ve done&#8230; it&#8217;s never too late to embrace God&#8217;s love, and to me, that’s great and HOPEFUL news!!!</span></p>
<h4><b><i>In 2021, we all will need to practice empathy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, and forgiveness. Help me understand this from a practical purpose, how we can utilize these universal qualities in our neighborhoods?</i></b></h4>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">To me, as Christians, we are not much different from our neighbors except that we are &#8216;saved&#8217; neighbors. We’re humans too – we also get our feelings hurt, are tired, disappointed, struggle with illness, we have our issues&#8230; the list goes on. As Christians, I feel fortunate that we have spiritual friends who lead us to Jesus and to a God who is capable to do so much, especially in those times when we&#8217;re hurting, tired, disappointed, ill, and dealing with our issues. We can do the same for others and let them see Jesus in our lives; ex. cutting your neighbors’ lawn, making a meal if you see them in need, apologize if you did something wrong to them, dropping off a gift just to encourage them, listening to them if you see they’re hurting, sharing your struggles and how God/the church helps you, etc. <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%205:14-16&amp;version=NIV">Love in action</a>!</span></p>
<p><img decoding="async" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-22668" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/Untitled-Design-1-2.png" alt="faith" width="735" height="1102" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/Untitled-Design-1-2.png 735w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/Untitled-Design-1-2-200x300.png 200w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/Untitled-Design-1-2-683x1024.png 683w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/Untitled-Design-1-2-600x900.png 600w" sizes="(max-width: 735px) 100vw, 735px" /></p>
<h4><b><i>Talk to me about what women empowerment means to you?</i></b></h4>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It&#8217;s interesting because we – as our global fellowship – have been studying the biblical roles of women. It&#8217;s been wonderful to see what we&#8217;ve been learning. God created women to be an <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis%202%3A18-24&amp;version=NIV">&#8216;Ezer&#8217;</a> (helper), as even referred to as God is an <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalms+121&amp;version=NIV">&#8216;Ezer&#8217;</a> himself. That says a lot! We are strong (enough to carry babies</span><span style="font-weight: 400;">), nurturers, wise, leaders, intelligent&#8230; there are so many things that women can provide, young and old. I believe we are seeing that women can do so much more than they&#8217;ve been given the opportunity to do &#8211; both inside and outside of the church. I look forward to seeing how women will continue, and even soar higher as they are empowered, especially the next generation! The world needs women! &#8220;Behind every great man, is a great woman&#8230;&#8221; actually, not behind him, but should be besides him! </span></p>
<p><img decoding="async" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-22669" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/Untitled-Design-2-2.png" alt="faith" width="735" height="1102" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/Untitled-Design-2-2.png 735w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/Untitled-Design-2-2-200x300.png 200w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/Untitled-Design-2-2-683x1024.png 683w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/Untitled-Design-2-2-600x900.png 600w" sizes="(max-width: 735px) 100vw, 735px" /></p>
<h4><b><i>As a female empowerment blogger, I am aware of a lot of men who advanced causes for women. I am blown away by Jesus. Here is a Rabbi who goes out of his way to empower and love women unconditionally. What can we learn from him on how we can treat women in our lives and in society?</i></b></h4>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I love Jesus! I know it may sound funny but I think he&#8217;s the coolest Dude! I appreciate that he saw people through different eyes than most others (their heart and not their outer appearance or social/cultural status), and he treated people differently than others do (with respect and not caring what others think). I&#8217;m grateful for examples like his tough love and vision with the Samaritan <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John%204&amp;version=NIV">woman</a>, his grace with the woman caught in <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John%208&amp;version=NIV">adultery</a>, blessing the faith of the woman <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Mark%205%3A25-34&amp;version=NIV">who bled</a> for 12 years, and <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%2028&amp;version=NIV">women</a> being the first ones he showed himself to after his resurrection, to name a few. It can be so powerful if we follow his humble and loving example.</span></p>
<h4><b><i>I know you are a foodie. So, some rapid-fire questions…</i></b></h4>
<p><b><i>Steak: Medium or well done.</i></b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Medium rare</span></p>
<p><b><i>Steak: Cabernet Sauvignon or Merlot</i></b><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">.</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Merlot</span></p>
<p><b><i>French fries or poutine.</i></b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Poutine, bien sûr!</span></p>
<p><b><i>Fav vegetable and why.</i></b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Sweet potatoes because I have a sweet tooth – I love them roasted with onions and garlic. Yummy! </span></p>
<p><b><i>Bacon with maple syrup or plain.</i></b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Totally with maple syrup (that&#8217;s the French part in me from my Quebecois hubby)</span></p>
<p><b><i>Fav ice cream.</i></b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> That&#8217;s not a fair question &#8211; it&#8217;s such a hard choice&#8230; Ummm </span><span style="font-weight: 400;"> homemade coconut ice cream with chunks of fresh coconut, from the Caribbean</span></p>
<p><b><i>The idea of a romantic date.</i></b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> On a Caribbean island, a delicious meal (dessert included, of course!) by candlelight at a restaurant by the sea, and a walk on the beach afterward</span></p>
<p><b><i>Fav meal of the day and why.</i></b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Dinner because I don&#8217;t usually have an appetite for breakfast (though I know it&#8217;s the most important meal of the day), and I like to snack during the day</span></p>
<h4><b><i>I take 2 hrs of my time and visit your church. I am going to be like Jesus and ask you for lunch. What is hospitality, why is it important and what will you make me?</i></b></h4>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">My husband and I love to be hospitable and to spoil people with meals. It helps that we love to eat and that we appreciate good food. We believe God has given us a bit of talent to put some tasty things on a plate too. We like people to feel special when they come to our home. Therefore, I&#8217;d first check if you have any food restrictions. I know it&#8217;s lunch and therefore could be a light meal, but because you don&#8217;t come often, it’ll be a bit more for our foodie friend… We&#8217;d start with a tossed green salad with a homemade dressing. Then it would be followed by a plate of thin slices of a beef roast with a creamy, decadent mushroom and onion sauce (my husband does such an amazing job with this one), a few brochettes of shrimp (put together in an artistic way by my daughter), that would be leaning on a bed of tasty, light, mashed sweet potato/white potato mix. If you still have space, this would all be followed by a homemade berry trifle and coffee/tea. I&#8217;m hungry now!! </span><span style="font-weight: 400;"> We’d end our time together with our son leading us in some songs while playing his guitar. Voilà!</span></p>
<p><img decoding="async" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-22662" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/IMG_20201227_182658214-scaled.jpg" alt="faith" width="1920" height="2560" /></p>
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		<title>Finding Hope in the Midst of Suffering</title>
		<link>https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/hope/</link>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[admin]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 12 Sep 2020 19:15:38 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Faith]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#believe]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#faith]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#happiness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#happy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#hope]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#trust]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#truth]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[blessed]]></category>
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					<description><![CDATA[<img width="300" height="157" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/Untitled-Design-7-300x157.png" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="hope" style="display: block; margin: auto; margin-bottom: 5px;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" decoding="async" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/Untitled-Design-7-300x157.png 300w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/Untitled-Design-7-1024x536.png 1024w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/Untitled-Design-7-768x402.png 768w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/Untitled-Design-7-760x400.png 760w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/Untitled-Design-7-600x314.png 600w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/Untitled-Design-7.png 1200w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /><p>A Valuable Lesson on Hope Carolyn Gerber Hofauer created a meal train for us in April of this year. I love to volunteer, love to give, and for the first time in my life, I am on the receiving end. Gerry Bell challenged me to&#160;<a class="read-more" href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/hope/">&#8230;</a></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/hope/">Finding Hope in the Midst of Suffering</a> appeared first on <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com">Four Columns of a Balanced Life</a>.</p>
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										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<img width="300" height="157" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/Untitled-Design-7-300x157.png" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="hope" style="display: block; margin: auto; margin-bottom: 5px;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" decoding="async" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/Untitled-Design-7-300x157.png 300w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/Untitled-Design-7-1024x536.png 1024w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/Untitled-Design-7-768x402.png 768w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/Untitled-Design-7-760x400.png 760w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/Untitled-Design-7-600x314.png 600w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/Untitled-Design-7.png 1200w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /><h3><span style="color: #ffff00;"><strong>A Valuable Lesson on Hope</strong></span></h3>
<p>Carolyn Gerber Hofauer created a meal train for us in April of this year. I love to volunteer, love to give, and for the first time in my life, I am on the receiving end. Gerry Bell challenged me to ask for help as Debbie is fighting cancer. The truth is I am blessing them by allowing them to serve me. A tough concept for me but I embrace it.</p>
<p>Telesforo Rodas and his daughter River are the second people to drop food for us. I come back from work and Debbie tells me a father and daughter team dropped food for us. Debbie shows me a rock with hope and love painted on it. I take the rock and place it outside our home.  A few weeks later they bring another meal. This time there are Hope, Love, and Faith on the stone painted by Lyrica Dunnett, Sky Rodas and River Rodas. I do not know the Rodas family personally, nor do I know them by name. A while later I post on a forum thanking the community for providing us with meals. I also ask for the name of the father-daughter team that delivered the meal and painted hope and love on the stone. Lisa Rodas replies saying it was her husband and daughter.</p>
<p><img decoding="async" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-22091" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/IMG_20200912_105252-scaled.jpg" alt="hope" width="1920" height="2560" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/IMG_20200912_105252-scaled.jpg 1920w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/IMG_20200912_105252-225x300.jpg 225w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/IMG_20200912_105252-768x1024.jpg 768w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/IMG_20200912_105252-1152x1536.jpg 1152w" sizes="(max-width: 1920px) 100vw, 1920px" /></p>
<p>The previous week Devon Dienesch&#8217;s daughter drew a few words of <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/attitude-of-gratitude/">encouragement</a>. Debbie takes that with her every time she goes for chemo.</p>
<p class="yiv5692491201ydp1150a50dyiv1226212510ydpb1f0adecmsonormal">As my wife battles cancer, COVID on the rise, and the economy in shambles, will my grit, optimism, self-efficacy, ability, soft skills or talent get me through these challenging times?</p>
<p class="yiv5692491201ydp1150a50dyiv1226212510ydpb1f0adecmsonormal">There is a reason River has written HOPE on this stone. What is she trying to tell me? What is her message? Why now?</p>
<p class="yiv5692491201ydp1150a50dyiv1226212510ydpb1f0adecmsonormal">What is hope? How can we use it in our lives? What are the humanistic, psychological, and spiritual connotations of hope? How do I use hope to get through these challenging times? Is it some vague spiritual concept? Or some esoteric framework designed in the ivory towers of academia. As I navigate hope in my own life, I want to look at it from a spiritual, humanist, and psychological perspective.</p>
<p class="yiv5692491201ydp1150a50dyiv1226212510ydpb1f0adecmsonormal">Charles Snyder in the Hope Theory posits that hope consists of agency and pathways. Hope helps the individual with the will to overcome the hurdles in life and provides various ways to overcome it. Liz Day in her research states that hope is linked to divergent thinking. Rebecca Gorres in her research on situational hope found that it leads to divergent thinking and different ways to cope with problems in life. She clearly differentiates between hope, self-efficacy, and optimism. Philip Magaletta and J. Oliver in their research found that hope is superior to self-efficacy and optimism.</p>
<p class="yiv5692491201ydp1150a50dyiv1226212510ydpb1f0adecmsonormal">Sure, professors can write about this stuff in the towers of academia. I am hurting. I am struggling. I could lose my wife. So many of my close friends are divorced. I have worked so hard on my marriage. I could lose her before my 19th anniversary. Life is not fair.</p>
<p>Lawrence Rifkin in Humanist Magazine talks about “The humanist worldview is filled with hope. We may be made of matter, but we decide what matters. It is through meaningful human action that a blank computer screen can become a poem, that slavery can become freedom. We can help others, alleviate suffering, and experience beauty. Humanism is not just the rejection of an idea. Humanism is an affirmation<em>. </em>It is a positive, clear-eyed <em>response</em> to our one world. It is saying ‘yes’, not saying ‘no.&#8217;”</p>
<p>This answer does not help me personally. Abstract philosophical concepts are too abstract for me when I am hurting. There is no substitute for love.</p>
<p>Lawrence Rifkin when pushed for providing hope for the hurting and the despondent states clearly that ‘humanism is not about hope. It’s about facing the world as it actually exists and making the best of it.’ I like how Rifkin does end his essay by saying get together with someone who is hurting, listen to them, and encourage them.</p>
<p class="yiv5692491201ydp1150a50dyiv1226212510ydpb1f0adecmsonormal">Hinduism looks at hope with Pratidhi which is a desire or a wish for something good to happen. Ok. I get it. Should I just wish for Debbie&#8217;s cancer to disappear?</p>
<p class="yiv5692491201ydp1150a50dyiv1226212510ydpb1f0adecmsonormal">Seyed Shirvani talks about hope in the Quran through the prism of Raja, Amal, and Tamanna. Raja means waiting for something, Amal means a desire and Tamanna means to make a request. I want the healing to happen now. I want the pain, suffering, and invasive treatments to stop.</p>
<p class="yiv5692491201ydp1150a50dyiv1226212510ydpb1f0adecmsonormal">From a Jewish perspective, Jonathan Sacks explains it best ‘Western civilization is the product of two cultures: ancient Greece and ancient Israel. The Greeks believed in fate: the future is determined by the past. Jews believed in freedom: there is no ‘evil decree’ that cannot be averted. The Greeks gave the world the concept of tragedy. Jews gave it the idea of hope. The whole of Judaism – though it would take a book to show it – is a set of laws and narratives designed to create in people, families, communities, and a nation, habits that defeat despair. Judaism is the voice of hope in the conversation of mankind’.</p>
<p><img decoding="async" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-22093" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/IMG_20200912_105241-scaled.jpg" alt="hope" width="1920" height="2560" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/IMG_20200912_105241-scaled.jpg 1920w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/IMG_20200912_105241-225x300.jpg 225w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/IMG_20200912_105241-768x1024.jpg 768w" sizes="(max-width: 1920px) 100vw, 1920px" /></p>
<p class="yiv5692491201ydp1150a50dyiv1226212510ydpb1f0adecmsonormal">The three theological virtues of Christianity are faith, hope, and love. River, Sky, and Lyrica you got me.</p>
<p class="yiv5692491201ydp1150a50dyiv1226212510ydpb1f0adecmsonormal">From the Christian perspective, Psalm 42:5 says Hope in God! For an independent, rebellious, broken, and messed up individual like me this ‘hoping in God’ concept does not come naturally. However, I have to drill it into my inner psyche.</p>
<p class="yiv5692491201ydp1150a50dyiv1226212510ydpb1f0adecmsonormal">Biblical hope gives me an emotional shock absorber to handle the wrong, be loving, and not get caught up in a victim mentality or self-pity. With Debbie battling cancer, the emotional engine allows me to persevere.</p>
<p class="yiv5692491201ydp1150a50dyiv1226212510ydpb1f0adecmsonormal">Hope is an eagerness for something favorable to happen in the future. Biblical hope is not just eagerness for Debbie to get healed but being confident about it and expecting it to happen. There is moral credence in it. What River was telling me is just do not cross your fingers that Debbie will get healed but expect great things from the Creator. I looked at Hebrews 6:9-12 ‘each one of you to show the same earnestness in realizing the full assurance of hope until the end’. I cannot afford to be lethargic but be zealous and pursue the full assurance of hope.</p>
<p class="yiv5692491201ydp1150a50dyiv1226212510ydpb1f0adecmsonormal">River, I have my doubts. Can I have this hope? Does it prepare me to see my wife ravaged by cancer? The role of a caretaker is tough and challenging.</p>
<p class="yiv5692491201ydp1150a50dyiv1226212510ydpb1f0adecmsonormal">Doubt is the natural adversary of biblical faith. Hope is an integral part of faith. OK, River, you got me. I give up.</p>
<p>As we get older, we have to embrace pain, suffering, disappointment, and things not going as planned. The more you embrace these issues the better you will do. In a matter of weeks, Debbie was diagnosed with cancer, had a mastectomy, a job offer for me was rescinded due to COVID, the fridge broke down, the fence broke and we had a major infestation in our house caused by a box given to us.</p>
<p><img decoding="async" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-22098" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/Untitled-Design.jpg" alt="hope" width="735" height="1102" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/Untitled-Design.jpg 735w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/Untitled-Design-200x300.jpg 200w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/Untitled-Design-683x1024.jpg 683w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/Untitled-Design-600x900.jpg 600w" sizes="(max-width: 735px) 100vw, 735px" /></p>
<p>I really had to have the attitude of ‘what now’ instead of ‘why me’. I had to be <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/attitude-of-gratitude/">grateful</a> and focus on the positive. I had to be <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/resilience-stress-management/">resilient</a>. Finally, I had to focus on hope. As a man of faith, I had to accept my brokenness. When you are broken, the light comes in. The light gives you hope.</p>
<p>I do not know the Rodas family. It was the thought of one young girl in her innocence to get the ball rolling that challenged me to my core. Thank you, River, Sky, and Lyrica. The stones are outside for everyone to see. Every day before I enter my house, I read the words on those stones. I am encouraged, strengthened, lifted high, and it has changed me forever. Your one act has created a ripple that will have an everlasting impact.</p>
<p>As you read this, I hope your reservoir is overflowing like Niagara Falls, deep down in the dam of your soul, the hydroelectric generator of <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/finding-peace-in-a-chaotic-world/">peace</a>, <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/patience-is-the-mother-of-all-virtues/">patience</a>,<a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/kindness-respect/"> kindness,</a> gentleness, <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/compassion/">compassion,</a> <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/to-err-is-human-to-forgive-divine/">forgiveness</a>, and<a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/agape-unconditional-love/"> unconditional love</a> will churn the new power of glory and help you to have hope to deal with the postmodern dystopian world of pain and darkness.</p>
<p><img decoding="async" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-22096" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/Untitled-Design-8.png" alt="hope" width="735" height="1102" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/Untitled-Design-8.png 735w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/Untitled-Design-8-200x300.png 200w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/Untitled-Design-8-683x1024.png 683w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/Untitled-Design-8-600x900.png 600w" sizes="(max-width: 735px) 100vw, 735px" /></p>
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		<title>Practical Faith</title>
		<link>https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/practical-faith/</link>
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		<pubDate>Fri, 03 Jul 2020 17:44:05 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Faith]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#amen]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#believe]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#christianity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#faith]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#god]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#grace]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#holyspirit]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#hope]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#peace]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#spirituality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#trust]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#worship]]></category>
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					<description><![CDATA[<img width="300" height="157" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/Untitled-Design-300x157.png" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="practical faith" style="display: block; margin: auto; margin-bottom: 5px;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" decoding="async" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/Untitled-Design-300x157.png 300w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/Untitled-Design-1024x536.png 1024w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/Untitled-Design-768x402.png 768w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/Untitled-Design-760x400.png 760w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/Untitled-Design-600x314.png 600w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/Untitled-Design.png 1200w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /><p>Welcome to my series on practical faith. We eat food daily, so we understand food. We have a brother, sister, mother, father, son, or daughter, so we comprehend family. We use money daily, so we know its power. But faith&#8230; What is it? For some&#160;<a class="read-more" href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/practical-faith/">&#8230;</a></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/practical-faith/">Practical Faith</a> appeared first on <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com">Four Columns of a Balanced Life</a>.</p>
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										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<img width="300" height="157" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/Untitled-Design-300x157.png" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="practical faith" style="display: block; margin: auto; margin-bottom: 5px;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" decoding="async" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/Untitled-Design-300x157.png 300w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/Untitled-Design-1024x536.png 1024w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/Untitled-Design-768x402.png 768w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/Untitled-Design-760x400.png 760w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/Untitled-Design-600x314.png 600w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/Untitled-Design.png 1200w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /><p>Welcome to my series on practical faith. We eat food daily, so we understand food. We have a brother, sister, mother, father, son, or daughter, so we comprehend family. We use money daily, so we know its power. But faith&#8230; What is it? For some people, it could be Jesus, Chris Tomlin, Louis Hay, David Crowder,  John Demartini, or Esther Hicks. For others, it could be a get-rich scheme, the secret to success, or a method to manifest abundance.</p>
<p>Over the last 18 months, I have interviewed people from the <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/what-is-diwali/">Hindu</a>, <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/who-are-the-parsis/">Parsi</a>, <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/who-are-the-sikhs/">Sikh</a>, <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/yoga-meditation-and-mindfulness-benefits/">Mindfulness</a>, <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/minchys-the-richness-of-fresh-fruits-in-every-bottle/">Living Arts</a>, <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/sahaja-yoga-a-breakthrough/">Sahaja Yoga</a>, <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/catholic-church/">and</a> <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/the-true-meaning-of-christmas/">various</a> <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/pastor-mark-strickland-practical-advice-on-dating-and-marriage/">denominations</a> of <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/lorie-hartshorn/">Christianity</a>.</p>
<p>I want to delve into the practical aspects of having faith. Debbie has been fighting cancer for the last seven months. Karen drove in the worst storm, gave up her shift to drive Debbie to her surgery, and stayed with her the whole day. Alison drove 40 minutes to pick Debbie from the hospital. Karen and Alison do not follow any faith. However, the community has rallied around us. Over the last three months, Carolyn created a meal train for us; people are giving us gift certificates, someone is paying for my fence to be repaired, and so on. These people are putting their faith into practice.</p>
<p>Lori Beth runs a faith-based blog to encourage your daily life. She covers diverse topics concerning her faith. I ask her real, deep questions as to how faith can be put to practice, God&#8217;s power, building faith, and feelings are not facts.</p>
<h4><b>Lori, please talk to me about what faith is. I find f</b><b>aith is easy to preach, even easier to write and read about. Living it day in and day out and practicing peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, generosity, forgiveness, compassion, and serving others. That is when the rubber hits the road. Please comment?</b></h4>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Faith means having a belief in something that you cannot necessarily see at the moment. The Bible says that “faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Faith is easy to preach and write about. The real test comes in living it out. I think when someone truly yields their life to God and relies on the Holy Spirit, it makes living this out possible. I consider myself to be someone who has a strong faith in God, yet this does not mean I am perfect. I have my days where I feel I’m on a mountaintop, obeying God, serving others, and showing love. But then there are days I find myself getting impatient, acting in the flesh, disobeying God’s instructions, etc. And I believe this is just part of being human and battling with the sinful nature. When these things happen, I am convicted to get on my knees and ask for forgiveness and lean on God’s help to overcome. I think having faith in God is what keeps me going and it helps me- to not give up on God, and not give up on myself. It is possible to live a life of victory in faith when you consistently go to your source (God) no matter what. For example, if I have to forgive someone who hurt me deeply, I cannot do this on my own strength. But when I go to God and say “Lord, help me see this person how you see them. Help me to let this go and cast this onto you. I cannot handle this but you can,” there is a power in doing that and then I am able to show forgiveness. This does not mean it is easy. This does not mean it is instant either. But it means it is possible. I have to rely on God and my faith in Him more than relying on my own feelings. </span></p>
<p><img decoding="async" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-21584" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/Untitled-Design-1.png" alt="practical faith" width="735" height="1102" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/Untitled-Design-1.png 735w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/Untitled-Design-1-200x300.png 200w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/Untitled-Design-1-683x1024.png 683w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/Untitled-Design-1-600x900.png 600w" sizes="(max-width: 735px) 100vw, 735px" /></p>
<h4><b>Good things happen to bad people and bad things happen to good people. Faith does not always protect us. Talk to me about this statement because sometimes we get confused?</b></h4>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Bad things happen to everyone no matter what. Because we live in a broken world, even Christians will face hardships and suffering. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I think it’s important to know that as Christians, sometimes a lot of bad happens to us because we are being attacked by the enemy. God can certainly deliver us from these attacks and/or show us how to overcome the attacks and fight through them. What I love is the phrase “You take what the enemy meant for evil and you turn it for good”. We see Joseph say this in the book of Genesis. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It is important to understand as I stated before that a lot of bad happens due to living in a broken world. When Adam and Eve sinned, sin entered the earth. This left us all open and vulnerable to an imperfect place to live in. So we are not immune to sickness and pain. Bad happens as well because sometimes God is testing our faith. If we never faced hardships, our faith would not grow. We would have no reason to cling to God and focus on him if we lived in perfect earth. I think a lot of times we face tribulations because God wants to humble us, prune us/ cleanse us, and mature us. </span></p>
<h4><b>What is the difference between North American Christianity and individualism and the real Christianity of embracing suffering, being humble, and turning the other cheek?</b></h4>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Sometimes North American Christianity can be very self-focused. We may not say it aloud, but sometimes we act and believe as if God was the one created in order to make us happy. We like being comfortable and in control of our lives. We often forget that we are the creation. We exist for Him, not the other way around. We exist to worship Him, have fellowship with Him, and glorify Him with our lives. Sometimes that includes a lot of suffering. We can’t think suffering is a terrible thing, because truthfully suffering is what purifies us and draws us closer to God than ever before. To endure suffering for God is something that is honorable. I think North American Christianity gets mad at God for allowing suffering. While real Christianity understands that this world is not our home, so we will have to endure a lot of pain on this earth. The solution is not to run from it but find God in the midst of it. He is very present in our pain. The Christians in the book of Acts endured countless amounts of suffering, especially Paul. He was beaten, flogged, jailed, ridiculed, and killed. This was a man who loved God more than anything and look at what he had to endure. The disciples who walked with Jesus on this earth were also killed for their faith. But they were able to spread the gospel message and that is what mattered. Sometimes we as Christians can be very worldly in our thinking patterns and in what we expect from God. But when we decide to truly study the Scriptures, our minds can be renewed and we can be set free as we find what it truly means to be a Christian. </span></p>
<h4><b>The older I get I realize I need to become intentional to have health, friendships, relationships, and everything else. The old adage just pray about it, trust, and read your bible does not cut it anymore. Help me understand this better?</b></h4>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Praying about situations, reading the Bible, and trusting God are the first steps to anything important. These are the foundations of the faith. In order to have health, praying about it is a place to start. Then, you take action. This could mean exercise, cutting things out of your regular diet, being disciplined to say no to sugar, etc. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The same goes for friendships and relationships. I pray a lot about those things. The Word shows us how to be a good friend and how to truly show love in our relationships. Then putting our faith and what we have learned in the Word into action is important. It’s not enough to just know the right thing, it’s about putting it into practice. I have prayed a lot about purposeful friendships. I find that God always brings someone into my life when I pray for it to happen. Now, this does not mean I sit at home and a new friend just comes to my door of course. It means maybe I seek someone out at church, I join a new small group or ministry, or volunteer somewhere and start seeking out friends. So the action steps are important but praying that God leads is always the right place to start. </span></p>
<h4><b>Instagram is the land of selfies and the likes. Is that good for us? Should we really judge our worth with likes?</b></h4>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Instagram can be very damaging if we are not careful about guarding our hearts against pride. I think sometimes we incorrectly believe we are somehow more important when people pay attention to us on social media. If we struggle with insecurity, we may be using those likes as fake validation. When really, it’s a silly thing to do. Our worth is not found in likes, but it’s found in Jesus Christ. Jesus died and shed His blood for each one of us. He sees us as worthy. His thoughts of us need to matter more than anyone else’s. His approval is what matters, not the approval of man. So I would say it’s kind of dangerous to judge our worth in social media. Social media can never deliver us from insecurity, only a relationship with Jesus and knowing our true identity can do that. </span></p>
<h4><b>I love your article concerning the single woman. Talk about your own experience through that whole process?</b></h4>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Although I am currently married (just a few months in, I’m a newlywed), being single was one of the things that I struggled with a lot. I write about it in hopes to encourage others with my story. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">When I was single, I had a season where I was content with that. I became very close to God and learned how to love Him above all things. I allowed Him to fill my voids, just by prayer, spending time in worship, and focusing on Him. There was a point where I truly did not want to date anyone because all I wanted was more of God and I did not want any distractions. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Then eventually, that faded as I got really caught up in my feelings. I got caught up in looking at everyone else’s lives. I especially got caught up at my age. People would ask me why I wasn’t married yet and that began to bother me. I felt pressure from those around me, and I also started to feel lonely and began to dwell on that loneliness. So I started compromising, lowering my standards and started dating just because I did not want to be alone anymore. I did not try to necessarily date Christian men, but men who seemed decent and would give me attention. After a few breakups, I found myself very broken. I realized I was forcing relationships out of loneliness. None of the men I dated were truly anything that I knew God wanted for me. I had always envisioned myself with a strong man of God, with someone who could lead me, pray with me, and seek the Lord with me. I dated men who weren’t sure if they even believed in God and some that did but just did not seem to fit well with me. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Eventually, I had to lay down those relationships. I felt very rejected during this time and I had to come to the conclusion none of them could truly give me the love my heart needed. I was very desperate for a man more than God, and that mentality had to change. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I started to do a few things to change. I fasted and prayed. I joined a group of young women my age in a bible study and we met weekly, discussing topics that were important to us and strengthened our faith.  I got a life coach who walked me through the reasoning behind my decisions. She encouraged me to wait on a godly man and not lower my standards. I resolved that the next man I would give a chance to would have to meet those standards of being a strong believer and that I could truly see a future with him. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">At this point, I was 30 years old. I was seeking a lot of new things in my life, such as a new job and a new location. I was praying and fasting for God to open those doors. I also began to pray and fast specifically for a godly husband. That year, God opened the door for me to move, get a new job, and eventually meet a great godly man in my new location who would become my husband. I love my husband and one of the best things about Him is his strong faith in God. He pushes me closer to God and does not try to take God’s place in my life. That is exactly what I wanted. So, I’m very glad I did not settle many years ago out of loneliness and out of the pressure from others to hurry up and be with someone. It takes a strong person to hold up their standards and not lower them. </span></p>
<h4><b>I am really a loyal person and sometimes wanted my friends from kindergarten to still be close. However, some relationships are there for a reason and for a season so no use chasing those relationships. What is your opinion on that?</b></h4>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It’s hard to accept that some friends really only come for a season. When we move to another area, another church, another job, we make new friends and it can be hard to keep in touch with old ones. That does not mean it’s impossible of course, I still have friends in different locations. But when you reach out to someone and they don’t respond, or it seems you are just drifting away and keeping in touch seems more forced than something natural, it might be a sign it was a seasonal friendship. And it’s okay to accept that and move on. It’s not a good idea to chase people unless the Holy Spirit is putting on your heart that you really need to remain connected to that person. This is possible. Sometimes hurdles present themselves but if God is putting in your heart that you should not cut that connection then you should listen. </span></p>
<h4><b>You are one of the few female bloggers that have written about sexual purity. It has always been part of the male domain. Talk about the harm that kind of lifestyle can lead us?</b></h4>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">There is a lot of harm that comes from sexual sin. I think one of the most important truths to recognize is that if you are in sexual sin, this hinders your intimacy with God. It’s very hard to be close to God if you are living that lifestyle because you are compromising by disobeying His Word. You are sinning against your own body and not valuing yourself. God’s will is that we all draw near to him, be satisfied with him, and live an abundant life of victory. But when you are in sexual sin, you are very distracted. I’ve heard the phrase, “How can you cast out a demon you are sleeping with?” And I believe that is a powerful statement.  As Christians, we have to be focused on doing the will of God for our lives and having a close relationship with God. Our vision can become clouded when we are in sexual sin. This sin can keep us bound to people who God never intended to be in our lives. It also causes a lot of emotional pain. Women, in particular, become very clingy to men they are sexual with. Then when that man breaks their heart, they are left with so much pain that is hard to overcome. Sex bonds you to a person through the hormone called oxytocin. This hormone is released during sex. Because of this, it is not easy to forget someone you are with. Then in the future, you might bring all that baggage into a marriage. Also, women are usually longing for security in a relationship and think that if they have sex with the man maybe he will stay around forever. But if we give ourselves away so easily, and that man has no reason to stay committed, he can use you and move on while you are left chasing him. I have experienced the pain of sexual sin in the sense that I felt a lot of guilt, shame, and I felt a wall in my relationship with God. It took me many years to overcome it and finally feel strong again. The most damaging effect it had on me was the wedge it created between me and the Lord, and it stunted my growth. This left me feeling very broken. So I talk about sexual purity because this is an issue that must be spoken about among women. We can avoid a lot of pain and brokenness when we save ourselves and resolve to live a life of purity. It is possible with God’s help and leaning on Him. </span></p>
<h4><b>I truly believe more harm has been done in this world through insecurity. You talk a lot about it.  Walk me through that maze of insecurity?</b></h4>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Oh yes, insecurity is one of the most damaging things that humans deal with. I think it’s very common. I have dealt with many insecurities stemming from childhood. I had thoughts that told me I was less than others, that I was ugly, and I was not worth much. Some of it derived from growing up in a home with a lot of conflicts. Some of it came from constant comparison towards those around me. I believe the devil has tried to use that against me to kill my confidence. He does this to many others as well. When we are insecure, we are constantly unsure of ourselves. We are not firm in our decisions, we have a hard time speaking up about things, and have difficulty connecting with others. It can keep us from doing the will of God in our lives. If we feel we aren’t good enough for a certain position or ministry, that is stemming from a place of insecurity. Many people know they are gifted but are afraid to use their gifts because of insecurity. Insecurity can also keep a girl in a bad relationship and chasing boys that are no good because she does not know her worth. In one season of my life, I was that girl. God helped me overcome insecurity by going to a retreat when I was younger. I also learned to speak the Word of God aloud and believe it. At one point in my life, I decided to fast, pray, and read books about my identity in Christ and godly confidence. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">God showed me where my insecurity was coming from and I had to deal with some past painful experiences. I would not say “I have arrived”, but the battle is not as intense as before. I stay in freedom by remembering the Word and prayer and casting down thoughts that don’t agree with God’s Word. God has taken me a long way. I have learned my worth is in Him and I definitely feel more secure in myself as an adult. </span></p>
<p><img decoding="async" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-21585" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/Untitled-Design-2.png" alt="practical faith" width="735" height="1102" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/Untitled-Design-2.png 735w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/Untitled-Design-2-200x300.png 200w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/Untitled-Design-2-683x1024.png 683w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/Untitled-Design-2-600x900.png 600w" sizes="(max-width: 735px) 100vw, 735px" /></p>
<h4><b>Prayer and being silent have been practiced since the beginning of time. Talk to me about the advantages and how it helps us?</b></h4>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Prayer is so powerful. When we just sit with God in his presence, He is able to speak to us and shows us things. When we get quiet with Him, we are able to deal with things in our hearts that He can reveal to us. We are able to find the true peace and healing that we need. Whenever I am stressed, I recharge by having alone time with God in my room. I put on worship music, I talk to him, then just sit and listen. I find myself always feeling stronger and more focused after I do this.  I try to make this a more regular habit. I think for any Christian, prayer is like your oxygen. And alone time with God is necessary. If we don’t do it, we will certainly feel negative effects in our attitudes and our minds. </span></p>
<h4><b>We may never have all the answers. I am ok with it. Instead of why me I say what now. Walk me through this statement?</b></h4>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">To get away from saying “Why me” and saying “What now”, is a really good thing to do. When we are stuck on “Why me?” we can get stuck in self-pity and bitterness. It can lead us to get angry with God and feel like our circumstances are unfair. But truthfully sometimes we will never know why some painful things happen to us. We have to make that decision to trust in God and ask Him how to get through it and move forward. God will always use our pain for good when we trust Him with it. God is faithful to work things out in our lives no matter how bad it looks like in the present moment. When we can release our “Why me?” to God, and instead ask God “What now?” this gives God the liberty to steer us in the right direction. God may be wanting to show you how to overcome the pain so that you can comfort others who are in the same pain. It’s often where you feel the most broken that you are able to minister to others. It’s often when you are going through the fire that God is molding you and making you more mature. It’s one thing to say we have faith, it’s another to hold onto that faith no matter what happens in our lives. I think God is pleased when we choose to trust Him no matter what. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I’ve heard a story of a young wife who became a widow when her husband died unexpectedly. She now leads a ministry serving other young widows and telling them about how Jesus helps her with the pain. I heard a story of a young man whose wife died, and at first, he was broken. Of course, I am sure it still hurts. But God told him to use his energy to start a homeless ministry and he was able to bless those people in many ways. You just never know who you can help out of your brokenness, but have to trust God has a plan. </span></p>
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		<title>Resilience &#038; Stress Management</title>
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		<pubDate>Fri, 12 Jun 2020 14:29:28 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Faith]]></category>
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					<description><![CDATA[<img width="300" height="157" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/Untitled-Design-300x157.png" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="resilience" style="display: block; margin: auto; margin-bottom: 5px;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" decoding="async" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/Untitled-Design-300x157.png 300w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/Untitled-Design-1024x536.png 1024w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/Untitled-Design-768x402.png 768w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/Untitled-Design-760x400.png 760w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/Untitled-Design-600x314.png 600w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/Untitled-Design.png 1200w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /><p>Resilience is how well people deal with and bounce back from the challenges of life. Resilience is the process of adjusting positively as you face challenges, tragedy, adversity, threats, and major sources of stress like job loss, divorce, financial issues, health problems, workplace discrimination, or&#160;<a class="read-more" href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/resilience-stress-management/">&#8230;</a></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/resilience-stress-management/">Resilience &#038; Stress Management</a> appeared first on <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com">Four Columns of a Balanced Life</a>.</p>
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										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<img width="300" height="157" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/Untitled-Design-300x157.png" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="resilience" style="display: block; margin: auto; margin-bottom: 5px;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" decoding="async" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/Untitled-Design-300x157.png 300w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/Untitled-Design-1024x536.png 1024w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/Untitled-Design-768x402.png 768w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/Untitled-Design-760x400.png 760w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/Untitled-Design-600x314.png 600w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/Untitled-Design.png 1200w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /><p>Resilience is how well people deal with and bounce back from the challenges of life. Resilience is the process of adjusting positively as you face challenges, tragedy, adversity, threats, and major sources of stress like job loss,<a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/divorce-from-a-financial-perspective/"> divorce</a>, <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/finance-debt-credit/">financial</a> issues, health problems, workplace discrimination, or the current COVID crisis. Resilience is not only about bouncing back, but also about learning and growing from the experience. The challenges are difficult and painful, but one needs to be aware of what they can control. Resilience helps you walk through the challenging times in your life and empowers you.</p>
<p>Resilience does not mean you will not face challenges in your life. The truth is that some of the most resilient people have faced and gone through the most challenging things a person can face. Resilience can be learned and involves developing actions, behaviors, and thoughts that help you bounce back from traumatic events in your life.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>The Three  Aspects of Resilience</strong></span></h4>
<p>Susan Kobasa, a leading psychologist, talks about the three aspects of resilience. The first is the challenge. When you are facing difficulties in your life, you have to see it as a challenge and not as an event that will paralyze you. The difficulty has to be viewed as an opportunity to learn and grow, and not negatively. The second is that you have to be committed to your goals, values, ethos, friendships, relationships, and beliefs, and find a reason to get up in the morning. The third part is to focus on what you can control. When you focus on what you can control and let go, you feel confident and empowered. If you focus on what you cannot control, it will make you feel powerless.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>Where is My GPS?</strong></span></h4>
<p>Life on planet Earth does not come with a GPS. However, the challenges and the traumatic events of life on Earth can impact us negatively. These events bring up a variety of feelings, emotions, thoughts, and uncertainty. Debbie has been battling cancer for six months. Last week I got a text that someone I have known my whole life committed suicide. I have been asked a lot about how I manage to stay resilient. Here are my eleven secrets to staying resilient. I have included quotes from strong women who have been resilient in their lives.</p>
<p><img decoding="async" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-21398" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/Untitled-Design-2.png" alt="resilience" width="735" height="1102" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/Untitled-Design-2.png 735w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/Untitled-Design-2-200x300.png 200w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/Untitled-Design-2-683x1024.png 683w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/Untitled-Design-2-600x900.png 600w" sizes="(max-width: 735px) 100vw, 735px" /></p>
<h4><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>Find a purpose and a deeper meaning</strong></span></h4>
<p>Grief and resilience live together &#8211; Michelle Obama, Becoming</p>
<p>One of my best friends committed suicide two years after high school. In the last few years, I have lost one of my closest friends from university and another from the business world. Last week, someone from my youth group committed suicide. As we come across a tragedy or a crisis in our personal lives we have to find a sense of purpose. I started a blog, got more involved in volunteering, more introspective, and started aligning all my activities with my goals and values.</p>
<p>As Debbie fights cancer, I am learning to become more compassionate, understanding, kind, and gentle.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>Be Positive about your capabilities</strong></span></h4>
<p>I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it &#8211; Maya Angelo</p>
<p>When Debbie was diagnosed with cancer, my daughter was handling it the best. She was just confident. I learned from her that we have to be confident about our capabilities on how to handle this event in our family. I had to focus on what we call a SWOT analysis in the business world. However, I had to focus on my strengths and keep the positive tape in my brain going.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>Friendships are important</strong></span></h4>
<p>I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance, never settle for the path of least resistance &#8211; Lee Ann Womack, I Hope You Dance</p>
<p>I would not have made it through the present crisis without close friends. I continue to stay connected with friends and cousins to share my feelings about what I am going through. This support does wonders for our emotional, physical, spiritual, mental, and psychological health.</p>
<p>It is important to also connect with people who are understanding, gentle, compassionate, empathetic, and who validate what you are going through. I have spoken to many people whose spouses have gone through cancer. It helps what you are feeling is natural. Sometimes there is a natural tendency to isolate ourselves. It is important to connect with people.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>The only constant in life is change</strong></span></h4>
<p>Resilience isn&#8217;t a single skill. It&#8217;s a variety of skills and coping mechanisms. To bounce back from bumps in the road as well as failures, you should focus on emphasizing the positive &#8211; Jean Chatzky</p>
<p>When I was doing my MBA and as we studied about companies that survived and those that perished the only difference was the survivors adapted to change. We have to constantly adapt to our surroundings. Stick to your values and core concepts but we have to adapt. Those that are flexible and embrace the changes thrive in the long run. I had to adapt my lifestyle and my attitude about being a spouse of a cancer patient.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>Be Confident </strong></span></h4>
<p>Like tiny seeds with potent power to push through tough ground and become mighty trees, we hold innate reserves of unimaginable strength. We are resilient &#8211; Catherine DeVrye, The Gift of Nature</p>
<p>When we are going through challenging times, it is tough to be confident in the tunnel. However, you have to cling to hope and focus on staying positive. Positive thinking does not mean you ignore the problem or the challenges you are facing. It means that the stumbling blocks are temporary and we need to focus on our capabilities to handle the challenge. I am confident that after chemo and radiation Debbie will make it through the end of November.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>Self-care</strong></span></h4>
<p>Courage doesn&#8217;t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying &#8216;I will try again tomorrow &#8211; Mary Anne Radmacher</p>
<p>Taking care of yourself is the most important thing you can do for yourself. You need to eat healthy food, get sleep, rest, build new skills, and even seek counseling.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>Focus on solutions, not problems</strong></span></h4>
<p>The world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it &#8211; Helen Keller</p>
<p>No matter what we are going through, focus on solutions. Do not ask why me but what now. There are times when there is no solution. However, you have to try to take baby steps to make your situation less stressful.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>Join a group</strong></span></h4>
<p>She stood in the storm and when the wind did not blow her way, she adjusted her sails &#8211; Elizabeth Edwards</p>
<p>I have spoken to many men whose spouses have gone through cancer. When you talk to other people who have gone through similar circumstances it helps you. Join a group of people who are going through similar issues. Talk about it and get together. It will do miracles for you. It is good to talk and get things out. If you keep it inside, you end with a lot of psycho-somatic issues.<strong> </strong></p>
<h4><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>Practice mindfulness</strong></span></h4>
<p>Rock bottom became the solid foundation in which I rebuilt my life &#8211; J.K. Rowling</p>
<p>Mindfulness is the basic human ability to be fully present, aware of where we are and what we’re doing, and not overly reactive or overwhelmed by what’s going on around us. I personally find breathing very helpful.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>Focus on one goal</strong></span></h4>
<p>The human capacity for burden is like bamboo- far more flexible than you&#8217;d ever believe at first glance &#8211; Jodi Picoult, My Sister&#8217;s Keeper</p>
<p>As Debbie goes through cancer, we just take it one day at a time. There is a tendency to focus on the end and how it will all look once chemo and radiation are done.</p>
<h4><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>Ask for help</strong></span></h4>
<p>Resilience is accepting your new reality, even if it&#8217;s less good than the one you had before. You can fight it, you can do nothing but scream about what you&#8217;ve lost, or you can accept that and try to put together something that&#8217;s good &#8211; Elizabeth Edwards</p>
<p>I am bad at asking for help. My wife is even worse. However, I was challenged to ask for help. As I asked for help, I have a meal train for us and people driving Debbie for her chemo and other appointments.</p>
<p>The key takeaway from this post is that whenever you are going through a challenging time, in order to be resilient:</p>
<p>Do not listen to the news, it is all negative, look to other sources for empowerment and inspiration</p>
<p>It is ok to cry and express what you are going through</p>
<p>Go for a walk and connect with nature</p>
<p>Focus on your strengths and be confident</p>
<p>Have a real, deep and vulnerable conversation with a close friend or family member</p>
<p>Talk to someone who has gone through or going through similar challenges like you</p>
<p><a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/what-is-prayer/">Pray</a>, <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/yoga-meditation-and-mindfulness-benefits/">meditate</a> and connect with a higher power</p>
<p><a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/attitude-of-gratitude/">Write</a> what you are going through and feeling</p>
<p>Practice kindness towards others and to yourself</p>
<p>Music inspires and empowers you, listen to it</p>
<p><a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B-Lnmqnpexa/">Breathe</a> deeply</p>
<p>Take it one day and one hour at a time. Focus on the present.</p>
<p><img decoding="async" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-21396" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/Untitled-Design-1.png" alt="resilience" width="735" height="1102" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/Untitled-Design-1.png 735w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/Untitled-Design-1-200x300.png 200w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/Untitled-Design-1-683x1024.png 683w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/Untitled-Design-1-600x900.png 600w" sizes="(max-width: 735px) 100vw, 735px" /></p>
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		<title>To err is human, to forgive, divine</title>
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		<pubDate>Thu, 21 May 2020 10:31:58 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Faith]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#believe]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#bible]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#christian]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#god]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#grateful]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#hope]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#letgo]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#lord]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#loveyourself]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#repent]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[#spreadlove]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[forgive]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[forgiveness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[love]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/?p=1673</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<img width="300" height="157" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Untitled-Design-20-300x157.png" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="forgive" style="display: block; margin: auto; margin-bottom: 5px;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" decoding="async" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Untitled-Design-20-300x157.png 300w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Untitled-Design-20-1024x536.png 1024w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Untitled-Design-20-768x402.png 768w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Untitled-Design-20-760x400.png 760w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Untitled-Design-20-600x314.png 600w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Untitled-Design-20.png 1200w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /><p>The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong – Mahatma Gandhi To err is human, to forgive, divine – Alexander Pope Romance to ruin It was my tenth wedding anniversary. I was excited to have made it this far. As we&#160;<a class="read-more" href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/to-err-is-human-to-forgive-divine/">&#8230;</a></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/to-err-is-human-to-forgive-divine/">To err is human, to forgive, divine</a> appeared first on <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com">Four Columns of a Balanced Life</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<img width="300" height="157" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Untitled-Design-20-300x157.png" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="forgive" style="display: block; margin: auto; margin-bottom: 5px;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" decoding="async" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Untitled-Design-20-300x157.png 300w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Untitled-Design-20-1024x536.png 1024w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Untitled-Design-20-768x402.png 768w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Untitled-Design-20-760x400.png 760w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Untitled-Design-20-600x314.png 600w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Untitled-Design-20.png 1200w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /><p>The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong – Mahatma Gandhi</p>
<p>To err is human, to forgive, divine – Alexander Pope</p>
<h4 style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>Romance to ruin</strong></span></h4>
<p>It was my tenth wedding anniversary. I was excited to have made it this far.</p>
<p>As we celebrate in a fine dining restaurant on the Mayan Riviera, I ask Debbie how we are doing as a couple. I love asking Debbie this question. You see, in the last decade, she had never criticized me. On the other hand, if I ask my <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/discover-10-life-lessons-my-daughter-has-taught-me-so-far/">daughter</a> how I am doing as a <a href="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/four-practical-tips-on-how-to-be-great-parents/">father</a>, I always get a list of things I need to work on.</p>
<p>I am excited. Debbie will tell me that I have been sensitive, gentle, romantic and will thank me for bringing us to this amazing resort. The ego is waiting to be fed.</p>
<p>‘Jerry, I have to be honest with you about something. The first is that you are a lousy sleeper. The second is that every time we hang around certain people, you are not the same person for a week.</p>
<p>‘Wow! Wow! Wow! Hold on a minute…what do you mean I am a lousy sleeper?’</p>
<p>‘Well, it takes you an hour for you to go to sleep. You are always twisting and turning. And even when you sleep it feels like you are fighting someone’.</p>
<p>‘OK, OK, I get it. What about the second comment?’</p>
<p>Debbie names a few people.</p>
<h4 style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>Walk on the beach</strong></span></h4>
<p>In life, have you ever felt like someone has put a knife inside you? How about when they turn it and sprinkle salt and vinegar on the wound? That is how I was feeling.</p>
<p>After dinner, I took a long walk on the beach.</p>
<p>As the waves were fighting the gravitational pull of the earth and the moon, I was fighting what Debbie just told me.</p>
<p>However, it did explain something. All my life I have always felt tired. I have never pulled an all-nighter in my whole life. Debbie was so true about some of the names she mentioned.</p>
<p>I had to do something about it.</p>
<p>Around this same time, 7 men involved in my wedding got divorced. We also had a reunion from St. Andrews in New York and a classmate who lives less than an hour&#8217;s drive never showed up. After two years of planning, a university reunion did not occur because people could not decide which hotel to stay at.</p>
<h4 style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>Face to face with forgiveness</strong></span></h4>
<p>Keep in mind, that hurting people often hurt other people as a result of their pain. If somebody is rude and inconsiderate, you can almost be certain they have some unresolved issues. They have some major problems, anger, resentment, or some heartache they are trying to cope with or overcome. The last thing they need is for you to make matters worse by responding angrily – Joel Osteen</p>
<p>I am in Dr. Lin&#8217;s office. I told her about the talk I had with my wife. She asks me a few questions about my past. After an hour, we come to a mutual decision that I need help. I made a request about what kind of shrink I want (the control freak in me).</p>
<p>My first appointment with Coleen resulted in me talking about how many friends I had. She tells me that if anyone has more real friends than their fingers, there is an issue there. I learned not to try to impress her anymore.</p>
<p>It was a long, painful, difficult process. For the first three years, I came monthly.</p>
<p>We talked about unconditional love, abandonment, perfectionism, unrealistic expectations, dealing with issues, taking people where they are at, being broken, and forgiveness.</p>
<h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong><span style="color: #000080;">Dealing with the reality</span></strong></h4>
<p>I am a perfectionist, have unrealistic expectations of people, am prideful, impatient, ungrateful, co-dependent on people, and am looking for love in all the wrong places and wrong people.</p>
<p>I was driving my wife nuts. She would clean the whole home, and mow the lawn, Jean was in bed, and dinner was waiting for me. But I had to pinpoint that one piece of stain on the hardwood.</p>
<p>I had unrealistic expectations from my friends that they had to be as loyal as I was to them.</p>
<p>I was arrogant that I was working on Bay Street.</p>
<p>I was driving myself crazy that I had not made it to Vice President at 35.</p>
<p>I graduated from one of the best high schools on the planet. I got honors from the best hotel school in the world. I do not smoke, drink or do drugs. Porn, that is for losers who do not get the real stuff. Me broken, never. I had to come in touch with me being broken.</p>
<p>I had to come in touch with my own criticism and negativity, deep-rooted from my own insecurities.</p>
<p>I had a bad temper and was impatient.</p>
<p>I could not spell being grateful and forgiving.</p>
<p>I had kept a record of wrongs for a long time.</p>
<p>I did not have boundaries in my life.</p>
<p>As I continued to talk, email, and write letters to those who hurt me, it was like a whole burden had come off.</p>
<p>I was sleeping better, happier, and became a better husband and father.</p>
<h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong><span style="color: #000080;">What is forgiveness</span></strong></h4>
<p>Forgiveness is the willful and purposed process by which a victim undergoes a radical change in emotions, awareness, and perspective towards an offense and does not believe in being vengeful or wants compensation from the offender and wishes the offender well.</p>
<p>Forgiveness does not mean we condone, excuse, forget, pardon (legal), or seek reconciliation from the offender.</p>
<p>Research has shown that forgiving other people is better for your health.</p>
<p>Am I perfect today? No. I still struggle with many issues and am more aware of them. I make fun of my perfectionism. If someone is rude or cuts me on the highway, I try not to take it personally.</p>
<p>I promise you I am not the same person that I was five years ago.</p>
<p>I warn you not everyone will be happy with this new you. You will gain and lose some relationships. Not everyone is comfortable with change.</p>
<p>As you read this article, please call someone who has hurt you or you have hurt. Forgive the other person. Trust me you will come out ahead. Write to me about how this process has helped you.<img decoding="async" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-16347" src="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/To-Err.png" alt="forgiveness" width="735" height="1102" srcset="https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/To-Err.png 735w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/To-Err-200x300.png 200w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/To-Err-683x1024.png 683w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/To-Err-560x840.png 560w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/To-Err-80x120.png 80w, https://fourcolumnsofabalancedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/To-Err-600x900.png 600w" sizes="(max-width: 735px) 100vw, 735px" /></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
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