Finding peace in a chaotic world of 24/7, hustle culture, always on the treadmill, political instability, and destination syndrome can be challenging.

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, compassion, gentleness, humility, authenticity, and self-control are universally appreciated qualities beyond approach.

These qualities are valued because they contribute positively to interpersonal relationships and society. They foster environments where understanding, cooperation, and harmony are more likely to flourish. Cultivating these traits can lead to a more peaceful and productive coexistence, and indeed, there are no laws against such virtues because they universally promote social good. They transcend cultural and legal boundaries, highlighting a shared human aspiration towards a kinder and more compassionate society.

What is Peace

Peace is a state of harmony, calmness, and the absence of conflict—both externally in the world and internally within oneself. Finding peace in a chaotic world can mean different things in various contexts:

Personal Peace – A sense of inner tranquility, contentment, and freedom from stress or anxiety by creating boundaries.

Social Peace – The absence of conflict or violence in relationships, communities, or societies.

Global Peace – The absence of war and conflict between nations, promoting cooperation, justice, and mutual respect.

Spiritual Peace – A deep sense of fulfillment, connection, and alignment with one’s beliefs or purpose.

Finding peace in a chaotic world comes from understanding, acceptance, and the ability to navigate challenges with wisdom rather than hostility. Consider how wisdom can help us find peace in a chaotic world. I have listed a lot of soul-searching questions. If you want to find peace answer them truthfully.

Personal Peace

Personal peace is an inner state of calm, balance, and contentment, regardless of external circumstances. It means being free from excessive stress, fear, or internal conflict and feeling emotionally, mentally, and spiritually grounded.

Self-Acceptance – Have you accepted yourself including your strengths and flaws? Are you always comparing yourself to others? Are you always looking at social media and realizing your life does not match those of influencers? Are you leading an authentic life?

Emotional Stability – What would your friends, family, and co-workers say regarding your emotions? Are you emotionally intelligent? Is anger, bitterness, resentment, or anxiety controlling your emotions?

Mindfulness and Presence: Are you living in the moment and grateful, or are you focusing on the past and worrying about the future?

Forgiveness – Forgiveness has to be a key part of achieving peace. Letting go of grudges and resentments lightens your emotional burden.

Purpose & Meaning – Define your why. Align everything you do with your values and purpose in life.

Healthy Boundaries – Protect yourself and your mental and emotional well-being from negativity and toxic influences.

Finding peace in a chaotic world does not mean avoiding challenges but rather handling them with clarity and resilience. It’s a journey, not a destination.

Social Peace

Finding social peace in chaotic times requires continuous effort from individuals, communities, and governments. It starts with personal peace but extends to how we interact with others. I am going to focus on the effort of the individual.

Respect & Tolerance – Do you respect and tolerate those who think and act differently from you? Do you treat them with dignity? Do your social media posts reflect love, grace, and mercy?

Justice & Fairness – Do your actions reflect and ensure equality, human rights, and social justice for all? Are you honest and transparent even if it is inconvenient? Are you treating everyone equally irrespective of race, gender, religion, or social status?

Conflict Resolution – Deal with disputes through dialogue, negotiation, or mediation instead of violence. Come with an open mind. Listen to understand rather than speak. Find common ground for understanding. Define the problem, look at options, and see if a compromise is possible. The most important factor is that you have to be patient and practice empathy and self-control.

Global Peace

Global peace is a state of harmony among nations and people in which conflicts are resolved through diplomacy and cooperation rather than violence or war.

As individuals, we do have a role to play by voting. We need to protect freedom, equality, and dignity for all people and focus on respecting diverse beliefs, traditions, and ways of life.

Global peace is not just the absence of war; it is the presence of justice, opportunity, and mutual respect.

Spiritual Peace

Spiritual peace is a deep sense of inner harmony, fulfillment, and connection with something greater than oneself. It goes beyond external circumstances and is rooted in faith, purpose, and a sense of belonging in the universe.

Inner Calm & Tranquility – Are you at peace regardless of life’s challenges?  Peace does not mean the absence of struggles but having God’s presence in the midst of them. Philippians 4:6-7 – Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Connection with a Higher Power – Do you find strength and guidance through faith or spirituality? Shalom is more than just the absence of conflict; it represents completeness, wholeness, and harmony. The Talmud says that peace is so important that even truth can be set aside to preserve it (Yevamot 65b).

Purpose & Meaning – Do you know your role in life and feel aligned with a greater purpose? The Upanishads suggest that true peace is achieved when individuals align themselves with the universal order (Rta).

Gratitude & Contentment – Are you appreciating life and finding joy in the present moment? Gratitude transcends cultures, religions, and philosophies, making it a universal spiritual quality.

Compassion & Love – Are you embracing kindness and seeing others with understanding and empathy? Islam recognizes diversity and encourages peaceful coexistence: “O mankind, We have created you from a male and a female and made you peoples and tribes that you may know one another.” (Quran 49:13).

Peace is essential for a society to thrive because it fosters stability, prosperity, and overall well-being.

The post Finding Peace in a Chaotic World appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

RG. No…, not Rahul Gandhi.

Rahul Godara is spiritual.

Spirituality is a deep and vast approach with various interpretations. The common theme is connecting with a higher being that is bigger than ourselves. The focus is to make a positive impact and find a deeper meaning in life. It is a catholic human experience that touches and shapes us. Many find a mosque or temple. synagogue, church, yoga, or a small group to connect and enhance their spiritual life. Others pray, meditate, recite, serve or connect with nature and art.

Rahul is self-aware of his spiritual growth, strengths, and weaknesses. The Hindu faith allows him to get in touch with his feelings, emotions, and the spiritual world. Rahul was a school captain and a gap student at Harrow. We connect and talk about spirituality, meditation, spiritual healing, and spiritual meditation, and find many common themes between Hinduism and Christianity.

Rahul, I love talking about spirituality, faith, travel, food, and family. Let’s start by telling my audience a little about you?

One of the highlights of my school life was meeting Tarsem Singh Dhandwar, an alumnus, a leading figure in Hollywood in the world of Visual Art.  He was perhaps the first person I really looked up to for his artistic and brilliant mind, coupled with an exuberant love for the world, and its colors.

I had always fancied myself as a man living in New York, with a trench coat, and a smoke on my lips! As a result, I fulfilled that when I went to study acting at the New York Film Academy. After that, I lived in NYC for 2 years, acted on Broadway, worked in a boutique hotel and did other things. My long and steady search for the divine and spirituality, led to a meeting with my Guru Amma, in New York. In conclusion, I returned to India in 2012 and spent 7 months with her.  As a result, it became a fundamental turning point in my life.

I learned a lot about the values of true spirituality, the concept of a Satguru (A fully realized being), and the principles of Sadhana (spiritual practise), as a means of emancipation from the cycle of suffering that we undergo as human beings.

Currently, I spend my time between Kasar Devi, a very spiritually charged Himalayan Village in the Kumaon Himalayas, and in Punjab, North India with my parents. I am running a travel company focused on Spiritual Travel and Immersion, and a culture center in Kasar Devi. By the way Jerry, Bob Dylan visited Kasar in his heyday! So did Cat Stevens, and Swami Vivekananda had some of his highest realizations here.

I have a very beautiful and amazing woman in my life, from the Himalayan mountains, whose identity we shall keep mysterious and hidden~~ ;).

What motivated you to start the Resplendent Soul? Walk me through the whole process and what is it all about?

While spending time at Ammas ashram, and traveling around Dharamshala (Home to the Dalai Lama), I realized that a lot of people were looking for the depths of Indian thought, but could scratch only the surface of it. I felt like I could facilitate their outer and inner journeys within India, and then the idea of Resplendent Soul popped up. Resplendence is my favorite word in English.  It means ‘Dazzling Measureless Splendour”.

The tours are 4, 7, and 18 days long.  We take people through some of the regular well-known Indian spiritual hubs like Rishikesh, Vrindavan and then the more abstract places like Babaji’s ashram, or my village of Kasar Devi.

On the tours, people experience the deep ocean of Hindu life and thought, while we also showcase other religions. They are able to experience the devotion of the Hindu people, in terms of the rituals like fire ceremonies, pujas, devotional worship via songs and music, etc. They are able to appreciate both the outer aspect of the use of colors, life, people, and the deeper metaphysical meaning behind them. For example, many people are not aware, but the fire ceremony of India is very beneficial for psychological ailments and gives one a profound love for life. Cool aye?!!

The tours also include social aspects like service and social entrepreneurship, so as to enable one to see God in all of creation, and not limit it to prayer and worship.

Currently, I do 2-3 big tours annually for Germans, Kiwis, and sometimes a mixed group, apart from the small ones.

Help me understand what you mean by let’s get deeper into the heart of the universe?

The Heart of the Universe! Hmm… I don’t know, how to put this, cause even I am perhaps at the foot of the universe.  As I grow older, I realize that we are unable to fully experience life’s deepest joy, strength, and confidence because we live on the periphery.  We are too much in the mind of the mind, and not in the Heart of the Mind.  To really understand the depths, one has to go very deep, dive deep within, to the very source from where the mysteries of the universe unfold.

Like Anandamayee ma, the great Bengali saint said “The world was born out of joy that is why you find joy in the fleeting things of the world, otherwise life would be an ordeal, but you must attain to that great joy, which brought forth the world!

How does one understand more of the guiding principles of life, of truth and Godliness via tours, retreats, working with communities, creativity, blogging, photography, friendship, and humanity?

I feel deeply that most of our education has been based to help us become survivors. We learn all the tools like mathematics, biology, English, etc., to simply earn a livelihood and make a name for ourselves. But we have not cultured the heart truly. We have many negative emotions like hatred, jealousy, lust, the works, but not enough self-knowledge and antidotes to transform them. I feel we can re-educate ourselves slowly and steadily. Just like 4 columns believes in a holistic attitude towards life, we can relearn the basic fundamentals of living a happy and contented existence, via the mediums of creativity, self-knowledge, scriptures, sharing in community growth, social service, family, hearing great stories and positive information that is already existing in the world. I like to use knowledge resources quite a bit, to understand the various spectrums of life and living, and I feel any and every human being can do so, by reading and understanding more effectively.

Explain who Guru Amma is and what is the message of the divine?

Amma and Haidakhan babaji are my two gurus. A guru literally means “Dispeller of Darkness”.  They are both Satgurus, meaningfully enlightened beings who have only taken birth to help all mankind, just like Christ.

Does your spirituality include a God, a holy book, and what is the supreme self?

To me, spirituality is both form & formless. So as a practicing Hindu on the journey towards God-realization, I worship all the forms of divinity present in the Sanatana Dharma (The original name of Hinduism) and all other faiths.

I especially enjoy loving Lord Shiva, Lord Ram, Krishna, Devi, and Hanuman!

I have a very big reverence for the ancient and present masters of India like Amma, Babaji, Neem Karoli Baba, Papaji, Padmasambhava, Nisargadatta Maharaj, and also many from the Tibetan Buddhist tradition.

I do read different spiritual texts as is the way in India, and not a single Holy Book. My favorite scriptures are mostly words of Masters who are living or have left the body.

The Supreme Self just is. As it is! Before, and beyond a name. Perhaps God is another word we use for it. Just like the Yogis use Pure Consciousness.

Sat-Chit-Ananda!  Truth –Consciousness- Bliss.

Let’s talk about tours. What is your goal here? Is it to showcase India? Is it to connect the traveler to their own spirituality or to connect with Indian spirituality?

The goal of the tours is to show the wealth of India’s spiritual light, so the seeker can benefit from those and use them in their own life. The Sanatana Dharma is very scientific, vast, and alluring and can provide many tools to crossover from suffering to endless union with self!

India has an endless ocean of knowledge, devotion, and beauty. Perhaps that’s the reason this country has been so tolerant and loving towards all, even those who plundered it. It is Mother India!

By showcasing the many modalities of spirituality present, we wish to inspire the seeker, who has come on a journey, to connect to their own hidden potential.  Some of them get inspired to take on practices and insights from the Indian traditions, and some just enjoy it, get a nice feeling, and do what they were already doing.  It’s a bit like “Eat, Pray, Love”!!!

Rahul, India is not a safe country for women. How do you ensure the safety of women on your tours? Give me practical aspects of your security procedures?

Yes, India is facing a major problem with women’s security, and we wish to do our best to be a part of the change in consciousness towards the removal of this problem. Usually, our women travelers do not face any issue, as we travel in groups, and they are mostly in very safe areas, with us.  If we are helping a single woman traveler navigate her way towards India, we try to connect her to the best people and services, wherein her risk is minimized. Until now, fortunately, there have been no negative incidents in the last 5-6 years since our inception.

Why does the world need art, music, spirituality, and getting in touch with these things?

The world needs these, like music, for example, is one of the easiest ways to connect to oneself, and thereby to one’s godliness. As a result, spiritually charged devotional music from any tradition helps us to feel rejuvenated in spirit, to take care of our negative emotions, and help cross over the difficult times. Nanak, the great Saint, and founder of Sikhism used to often say that just by listening to the Lord’s name, one can become perfectly happy and perfect!

I think art can really help in catharsis and helping one unload both the beauty and the darkness within. Ditto for spirituality.  The greater we are attuned with the cosmic truth, the happier, more contented, and dynamic we become!

Talk to me about food? I am sure spirituality means taking care of your own body?

Jerry, I have learned slowly how important food is. Gurumayi, says that we mostly only need about 60-70% of the food that we eat. The rest is just our hunger for God, for truth.

I feel if we eat too much, or not the right combinations we become tamasic, lazy, in inertia, and slowly degrade ourselves and our minds.

While eating light vegetarian meals, we remain uplifted, sparkly, and can have a stronger cognitive ability, provided we combine that with the right thinking and feelings!  I am experimenting more with foods these days and enjoying the effects.  For example, I am more of a pitta type person, a fiery type, so lessening caffeine has been beneficial, so has decreasing spicy foods. I have also incorporated a self-massage 2-3 times a week, called Abhyanga, from the ancient Ayurvedic style, which also helps alleviate the daily pent up tensions, and helps remove toxins from the body as well! The results have been amazing!

I believe in loving people unconditionally, getting in touch with my own brokenness, so light can come in, forgiveness, gratitude, peace, patience, kindness, and gentleness. Do we have anything in common?

We have a lot in common Jerry. I do understand and appreciate the Christian principle of “the brokenness” within. We all come enmeshed in our karmas from previous lives and to that, we add on the ignorance of this life. By accepting our brokenness, our not knowing, we open the door for God’s light to come in. To recharge us, to show us our own inner greatness, and to live the Biblical maxim, that we are made in his image. By surrendering the individual will to the Supreme will, we are able to merge ourselves back in him and gain greater and greater joy and love, until only That remains.

Yes, I am trying to work towards unconditional love, and go beyond my own judgments, resentments, past, present, future, and perceptions. It’s a long journey, isn’t it? But it’s become more and more exciting, ever since the name of the Lord has been planted more and more in the heart within!

Many warm greetings from the Kumaon Himalayas and I pray that all is well in Canada and your family, and orbit!

Om Namah Shivaya. (Salutations to the Supreme)

Photo Credits: Ian Espinosa  Mohamed Nohassi  R D  134-3488_IMG by Enayut Rasul CC BY-SA 2.0, Juskteez Vu Jon Flobrant

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Parenting has taken on a whole new meaning during Covid 19.

Parents, caregivers, and children across the country are facing challenges and have to constantly pivot during the lockdown.

Focus on creating quality time and make sure your children are connected with family, friends, and neighbors through social media, chats, phones, and email.

Go on walks with your children while maintaining a safe distance.

Listen to understand your children, focus on their positive behavior and be a role model.

I talk to Brett about mental health and parenting.

Brett Ullman travels North America speaking to teens, young adults, leaders, and parents on topics including sexuality, mental health, men, dating, and media. Brett’s seminars engage and challenge attendees to try and connect our ancient faith with the modern culture we live in. Participants are inspired to reflect on what we know, what we believe, and how our faith ought to serve as the lens through which we view and engage in tough conversations in our society today.

Husband to Dawn and father of Bennett and Zoe, Brett and his family make their home in Ajax, Ontario where Brett leads and directs Worlds Apart, a charity focused on empowering individuals to re-align their lives with Biblical core values often muddled by media but central to Christian living.

Brett was a teacher with the Toronto District School Board for 10 years before moving into speaking full-time back in 2005. Brett has a Master’s degree in Evangelism and Leadership from Wheaton Graduate School in Chicago and is also a graduate of the Arrow Leadership Program. He and his family are members of Sanctus Church in Ajax since 2004. I catch up with Brett to talk about mental health and parenting.

Brett, please tell my audience a little about you?

My name is Brett Ullman. My wife (Dawn) and I live in Ajax, Ontario with our 2 teenagers Zoe (16) and Ben (15). I was a teacher with the TDSB (Toronto District School Board) for 10 years before leaving teaching 13 years ago to speak full-time. My speaking had started the year I began teaching and had grown to the point where I was teaching full-time and speaking 45 dates a year across Canada and the US. I speak on current issues from parenting, mental health, dating, media, faith, sex, men, and pornography.

I have a 14-year daughter, what is the best advice you can give me?

There is a quote from the book “Trophy Child” from Ted Cunningham that says “They will not be with me forever so I will prepare them accordingly.” This would be my best advice … prepare your daughter for life, don’t protect her from life. We seem to see an epidemic of over-parenting (which is rooted in fear-based parenting) throughout our society. If 4 years from now she heads away for school she better be ready to deal with everything from good online digital citizenship, dealing with sex and pornography, dealing with money, all aspects of dating, etc.

As a side point, I would say go and tell her that you love her. I am blown away on an ongoing basis by how many young girls tell me their dad has never told them he loved her.

I would also remind her often that you are there for her, not against her. That we as parents want the best for our kids and we are in their corner in life is a huge deal. This also means that we are still for them even when they mess up. Our kids need to know that we love them “forever and always” no matter what happens. This is unconditional love.

In the last decade, we as a society have been talking about mental health. What can we as parents do if our kid is struggling?

If I am in a room of students and/or parents and ask who knows someone who struggles with mental health, there is usually not a hand that does not go up. It is affecting all of us as a modern culture today. As someone who had a breakdown back in 2012 from speaking close to 300 speaking dates a year to pay for my Master’s degree, I was taking down in Chicago I understand first-hand the … what word do I use … struggle that those of us with mental health struggles face within the church today. One of the issues is that we allow people with cancer, diabetes, and other illnesses to follow a path to healing using best practices (doctors, medications, etc) but tell someone struggling with mental health it must be a spiritual issue. I have an entire talk on this called the Walking Wounded. Let me give you the 2 min summary.

If you or your kids are struggling with mental health you need to attack it in 3 ways:

1. Body – go to your family doctor. Get blood work, and a physical done and see if there is anything physically wrong with you. You then need to take care of your body by eating better, sleeping more, and doing daily exercise. Some of the struggles we have are just from our living unsustainable lives. We need to take back control of what we can.
2. Mind – go see a counselor and get some strategies to help you in your journey.
3. Soul – Now this is the one that gets vast debate. I would say that our faith is (for the most part) not the answer in the journey but is the thing that sustains us in the journey no matter the outcome. Talk to pastors, prayer teams, small groups, and other people and allow them into your journey as well.

How are sexuality, media, and dating related?

I put them all under an umbrella I call a Christian Sexual Ethic or a Biblical worldview of healthy sexuality. If you have a correct ethic or worldview on this, it will affect all aspects of how we view sexuality in our lives. This affects what we do in relationships, what we do online, and the type of media we put into our lives.

Give me some practical examples as to how we can connect an ancient faith to our fast-paced modern culture?

I think it starts with a Biblical Worldview. Your Worldview shapes your values, and then your values shape your actions, what you actually do in life. I have been talking about spiritual disciplines for 15 years in my talks. These are the primary spiritual formation building blocks of our faith. Reading, praying, fasting, giving, volunteering, etc. are the foundations of our faith. I just finished a chapter on this for my new book so here is a shortlist of a few books to get you started in this area:

1. Dallas Willard: The Spirit of the Disciplines: Understanding How God Changes Lives
2. Richard J. Foster: Celebration of Discipline: The Path to Spiritual Growth
3. Nathan Foster: The Making of an Ordinary Saint
4. Patrick M. Morley: A Man’s Guide to the Spiritual Disciplines: 12 Habits to Strengthen Your Walk with Christ
5. Ken Shigematsu: God in My Everything: How an Ancient Rhythm Helps Busy People Enjoy God
6. Gary Thomas: Sacred Pathways
7. Ruth R. Barton: Sacred Rhythms: Arranging our lives for Spiritual Transformation

Give me some practical tips on parenting and how to communicate with our kids on taboo topics?

The author Henry Cloud says we need to “Enter the danger.” We need not shy away from the tough stuff but lean into the conversations.

One thing that is really important here is that if you want to be able to speak to your kids on tough topics, you have to have relational influence in their lives. This is not something that you get because you are a parent, it is something you have to earn. When your kids are born, you have positional influence as you are the parent, and they are the kid. As they get older this fades away, and you must have relational influence. You build this day by day as your kids are growing up by being involved in their lives, family dinners, family vacations, family meetings, talks on the couch, game night, movie night, laughing and crying with your kids, encouraging them, etc.

Back to the tough topics use people around you. If you do not know what to say about a particular topic spend some time searching online, talk to your pastors and leaders, talk to parents of kids who are older than yours, read books on this topic, spend time on YouTube and searching Ted talks for great content. My website (www.brettullman.com) is filled with resources like this. My blog has conversations on all of these tough topics and the best links to other resources are all posted.

Talk to my female audience and help them in the dating world and how they need to navigate it?

I might start with a younger audience and say you don’t need to rush into dating in Grade 5-11. It will add a lot of heartaches, and the real question you are going to have to answer is what do you do sexually in these relationships as there is not much else that will be different from a good friend and dating other than that.

The other side of that coin is said to people who are out of High School and challenging them actually to date. We have a problem I see today where people are just not dating.

An important question to ask is not whether they like you, but whether they are worth you’re like.

Let me explain this better. It is great they like you, but does it matter? Are they the right person for you? Do you also like them? Do you have anything in common etc.? You don’t need to date someone just because they like you. You have a choice whether to like them back (in a dating way) or just stay friends.

What are some questions we need to ask ourselves before getting married?

The most viewed blog on my site with over 12,600 views is 80+ questions you need to ask when you are dating. Lots of questions to ask before you ever get engaged and married. Just a few good ones would be:

–    What behavior is appropriate for those who are going to practice sexual abstinence before marriage

–    Are you a non-practicing Christian? What does the Christian faith mean to you?

–    Do you want any? 1? 2? 5?

–    What kind of home do you want your children to grow up in? Values? Rules?

–    What will you do? Where will you live? What comes with the job you have chosen? Travel?

You can use my blog as a start and then add any other questions you have. The point is to ask these before you get serious. If you want to have kids and they do not this is a massive red flag that your relationship might not be right. If they’re going to move to another place in the country and you want to live near your family and friends, it might be another red flag. 

How important is communication in the family?

It is paramount. I am a huge fan of family dinners, family meetings, family vacations, etc. The problem we see today is peer attachment without parental attachment. This is seen in Leonard Sax’s’ book The Collapse of Parenting. Our kids are looking for unconditional love and acceptance from their peers which is just something they are not able to give. Our kids need a strong, secure attachment (bond) with us as parents, only then can they head out into the world and bond with their peers.

We as parents need to make sure that we work at good communication. No technology at the dinner table. Phones are on airplane mode and not on silent. People need to look at each other in the eye when they are talking. This problem of partial attention is getting worse in life.

We also need to have open communication on the expectations of our kids around the house. Clear, agreed on boundaries and expectations for everything from chores to curfew.

How do you balance faith family finance and food in this busy world?

I think the first thought here is just to be conscious that you want to live a balanced, sustainable life. I am presently reading “The Ripple Effect” by Greg Wells. The bi-line is:

Sleep better

Eat better

Move better

Think better

So love this. Many years ago, I heard the analogy of the jar with the different size rocks. If you put in the sand and small stones first the large rocks will not fit in. But, if you put in the large rocks, then small stones, then the sand they will all fit. It is the same in our lives. Plan your life to fit in the large rocks first (exercise, sleep, diet, faith etc.), then put in the smaller stones (shopping, cleaning, volunteering) When all of these things are done you are left to put in the sand of your life (TV, social media, video games, etc).

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Nirmala Srivastava founded Sahaja Yoga in 1970. During meditation, seekers experience self-realization. Sahaja is a Sanskrit term consisting of ‘Saha’ is ‘with’ and ‘ja’ is ‘born’. In the Buddhist dictionary, it is ‘innate, denoting the natural presence of enlightenment or purity’.

Dr. Girish Gupta, a management consultant, and practitioner of Sahaja Yoga Meditation talks about its advantages.

Girish, it is a pleasure to have you here. Please tell my global audience a little about you?

I am a management consultant, advising companies on the best ways to manage and operate their business, which includes business strategy, operational techniques, marketing, branding, and skills like time management. I help companies become efficient, increase synergies and increase their footprint by attracting new business.

What did you do for your Ph.D. thesis?

I did my Ph.D. in Marketing Management.  The thesis was – Study on the Industrial Product Marketing Strategy of selected companies in India.

Explain your yoga style and how it is linked to your faith.

I practice Sahaja Yoga Meditation. It is Self-Realization or Actualization. Sahaja Yoga is given by our Divine Mother, Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi who is the founder of Sahaja Yoga. It is practiced in more than 180 countries across the world. For more details, one can visit www.sahajayoga.org. As far as faith, you can see various miracles in your day-to-day life. You also have peace from within.

Is there any special God you worship?

After practicing Sahaja Yoga, you get the knowledge that all Gods are one and equal. They all lead you to take only one path. The path is the truth that one can feel in his/her nervous system.

How do you embrace good and shun evil?

As we practice Sahaja Yoga and get better, we get established in it. At that point, one automatically comes to know through vibration what is evil and good. You act accordingly.

Do you follow any specific diet?

No, I do not follow any specific diet. However, I surely try to follow a disciplined routine. I take Breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.  I make sure there is no interval of more than 4 or 5 hours after each meal. For me, a meal can also be having fruit.

What are the advantages of doing yoga?

People perceive yoga as only physical activity, but actually, yoga means one’s Reunion with all-pervading power which is God’s love flowing everywhere. This reunion can be achieved by self-realization meditation only. I also recommend physical exercise like walking, jogging, cycling, going to the gym, and swimming.

Tell me about Indore and some good restaurants and your favorite dishes.

Indore is located in the western part of Madhya Pradesh. It is a developing B-class city in India. Indore was awarded as best city for cleanliness two years in a row.

Indore is famous for food-loving people with a variety of tastes, different food outlets, and restaurants for their sumptuous meals.  Indore has a food market (Also known as khau gali) that operates from 8 PM to 12 PM. You get a variety of food from Chinese, South Indian, pasta, Jalebi, Kachori, Samosa, etc.

I do not have any specific favorite dish. However, I like Kadhi (made from curd), and butter paneer masala and am fond of sweets. Shreemaya, Sayaji, and TGB are some good restaurants in Indore.

Give me some tips on being a good husband and I will follow up with your wife to see if you are doing these things.

I would strongly recommend trusting each other blindly. Keep quiet when the other person is angry (don’t argue at that point in time). Once when things are normal and cooled down explain your point of view. Love each other without any expectations.

How do you balance faith, food, finance, family, and your career?

Don’t take your office worries home and vice versa. After practicing Sahaja Yoga meditation, you get a work-life balance easily.

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Ashley Wray is a Millennial. She is barely 25 years old, got married, divorced, has seen 26 countries, and is starting a business. She is honest, real, vulnerable, and in touch with what is going on in her life. I got together with her over a coffee to talk about love, peace, food, faith, family, finance, travel, spirituality, nature, women empowerment, the future, and about her being a Goddess.

International Women’s Day (IWD) is celebrated on March 8^th every year. It is an important day for women’s rights. On February 28, 1909, the Socialist Party of America organized a Women’s Day in New York City. In 1910 at the International Socialist Woman’s Conference, German delegates Paula Thiede, Kate Duncker, and Clara Zetkin suggested a ‘special Women’s Day’ be organized. In 1917, women gained suffrage in Russia and March 8 became a national holiday. Women’s Day was celebrated only in communist and socialist countries. In 1967, the feminist movement adopted it. In 1977, the United Nations began celebrating it.

Four Columns is all about inspiring and empowering women to live a balanced life. To celebrate Women’s Day, I am interviewing various women, from different backgrounds.

Ashley Wray, you are one of the most real, vulnerable, open people I have met in my life. So, tell me a little about you?

Firstly, I just wanted to thank you for interviewing me and having me on your blog.

I haven’t quite figured out my “life purpose”. I know for sure that part of my purpose is definitely making other people feel validated and loved in this life. I was bullied when I was younger and that helped me realize that I wanted to work in a field where I could positively impact and help people. I love exploring different healing modalities. I’m currently exploring shamanic healing. I find shamanic healing very interesting.  I hope to be able to one day offer this healing to my clients around the world. I love traveling. I’ve traveled to 26 different countries with Guatemala, Mexico City, and Arizona next on my travel agenda. I’m a modern Goddess, feminist, and lover of all living things.

Ashley you are barely 25, have been married for a couple of years and divorced. Walk me through the experience and what did you learn and how did you change because of it?

Jerry, I’ve always thought about writing a book, about how my early days impacted me so strongly and made me the woman I am today. It’s hard to go really into those experiences without writing pages and pages worth but I’ll do my best to really give your readers an idea of who I am today and my story.

I moved to England when I was 19. I was very unhappy and I was wanting to escape a very abusive situation. I had this dream to start fresh and couldn’t think of a perfect place to do it but to move to a country across the world. The thought of being foreign in a foreign place where I knew absolutely no one and no one knew me was the perfect scenario.  This was the first time I had left the abusive situations that I had been in and out of for over 10 years.

It wasn’t until I left Canada, that I felt safe enough to start the self-healing process. Within that healing process, I meet my ex-husband a couple of weeks after moving to England. Looking back, I understand that the attraction to each other was so deep because we were both wounded soldiers.

What I learned most from that situation was the “Law of Attraction” and how real it really is. Like attracts like. He intensified all the wounds inside me, the feelings of not being worthy of love and not being good enough to receive love is what I felt most when I was with him. I continued to pretend that I was fine but I was desperately falling apart on the inside. On the outside, I was posting the most Instagram-worthy photos of us in love. I wasn’t authentic, but it wasn’t because I didn’t want to be but that I was ashamed to express the real me and what was going on in my world.

This was a long lesson that lasted 4 years and I’m so grateful for all it taught me. I learned that the people that we attract are mirrors of what we are needing to experience or lessons we are meant to have in this lifetime. It’s all for a reason and maybe that reason will never be known :). 

What does female empowerment mean to you in the 21st century?

Female empowerment to me means feeling empowered to rise in our own unique ways and support each other and all the woman around the world on their journeys. It is such an important historical time to be a woman. Women all over the world are rising and stepping into their power. It is  F*#^!N$ AMAZING to be a part of and to be a woman in 2019! For so long women have been suppressed and to finally be a part of this generation, to be able to break free of the suppression is amazing. We can stand together knowing that we have each other’s back. I am all for the #metoo movement, #timesup movement, and #freethenipple movement.

You are a big fan of getting in touch with yourself. How did you come to this revelation and how are you helping other people heal?

I’m able to get in touch with myself the most by disconnecting from the world and connecting to the universe. I love planning a 2-day retreat or solo vacations when I’m feeling like I need to realign with myself again. I’ve found that having a strong self-care foundation is really important for me and so I’ve found things that I know bring me instant joy. These things include a special hot chocolate recipe, a walk by the water, a foot massage, writing in my journal, and meditation. I believe that I’m helping others heal by being my most authentic self. I’m working through the feelings of shame and guilt and giving myself permission to be free by being ME. I hope that allows other people to feel like they can be themselves also.

What do you do for work and do you feel fulfilled with what you’re doing?

I work at a clinic in Toronto called Province Apothecary doing intuitive organic facials and I also educate health-conscious brands on the benefits of natural health and skincare. I’m in the middle of creating my business called Moonspace which is a healing space for the modern-day woman. I’ll be offering personalized intuitive readings, energy medicine treatments, and meditation circles. I really want to create a beautiful space where women can be honored and celebrated. My intention is that women will leave the space feeling restored and empowered.

Let’s talk about spirituality. I am a big fan of unconditional love, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, compassion, do good to others, overcome evil with good, charity and forgiveness. Do we have anything in common here? What is your spirituality and is there a place for God in that?

I’m definitely a spiritual person- I believe in the oneness of the universe. I like having an open mind and being open to everyone’s beliefs. I love learning about different religions and creating something that works for me. Sometimes I pray to God, other times Buddha. I chant, I sing, I dance. I consistently live from my heart, a place of love for others and the world. I’m grateful either way for the source that watches over me and listens and responds to all my prayers.

Food nourishes the soul. Is this sentence relatable to you?

Food is my medicine and so is drinking plenty of water. Eating healthy is important to me because its another form of self-care and love. My body feels more alive when I’m eating fresh foods and I have a diet rich in fruit and vegetables. I love cooking and I love getting inspired by cookbooks and travel. I’m not a vegan or vegetarian which I think most people think I would be. I love tuning in to my body and asking my body what it needs. Sometimes my body will tell me it wants a plant-based diet for a week or so and then it will totally switch things up and wants a chicken burger. Someone once asked me if I was a “flexitarian” SURE! If I need a label… call me a flexitarian ;).

I love nature, it is the best gift we have received from our creator. How do you connect with nature?

I feel so connected when I’m in nature. I’m so grateful that we are able to have a connection with nature. I love the warmth and I feel like I come alive the most when I’m in warmer climates because I’m consistently connecting with nature.

I find my relationship harder with nature living in Toronto in the winter because I find it difficult to be outside in the cold. I am totally a tree-hugging hippie lol- I’ve hugged so many trees.

When my ex and I first broke up and I moved back to Toronto in the summer I would go to the lake every single day. I would whisper to the lake, the flowers, the birds, and the trees and tell them my worries. I felt listened to, I felt held and I would always leave feeling lighter and more connected to myself. I can’t explain the healing that started to take place by connecting to these elements but I wanted to give back to nature. I felt like I was receiving such an abundance of healing that I wanted to give back to Mother Earth the way she gave to me so I would bring the birds seeds and I would pick up garbage by the lake.

Nature has healed me in so many ways. I’d love to move somewhere warm one day. I went to Hawaii for vacation a couple of months ago and took surfing lessons WOW! A totally different connection to nature. I’d love to surf every day and be in warm saltwater.

How has meditation helped you in dealing with stuff?

Mediation has become a part of my everyday morning ritual when I first wake up. It’s time that I dedicate myself to breathing and connecting back to myself. Meditation has taught me how to breathe and how important my relationship with my breath is. Our breath is what keeps us alive and we can always use our breath as a compass for how we are feeling. If our breath is very fast, we are probably feeling anxious and if we control our breath, we can help feel less anxious and calmer. Meditation has given me clarity on what I’m wanting to manifest in my life. Quieting my mind and listening to my soul’s sweet whispers. Where will she take me next?

Ashley, at a young age you have seen a lot, done a lot, experienced a lot. What is next?

Thank you, Jerry. I’m not sure exactly what is next. I’d love to continue to fall deeper in love with myself, build an empire, continue to rise with other women, fall deeply in love one day with someone who worships me, travel more of the world, have a home somewhere hot by the beach and feel so much joy and happiness in my life.

The post Ashley Wray: The Love Goddess appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

Two years after graduating from high school, one of my closest friends committed suicide. I had never dealt with it. I got caught up in university, climbing the corporate ladder, and on the performance treadmill. On my 10th wedding anniversary, as I was having a romantic dinner on the beach in the Mayan Riviera, I asked Debbie how we were doing as a married couple. Her answer about me not being a good sleeper changed my life forever. This week, as I deal with COVID, Debbie is battling cancer, I get a text from a friend that someone we have known all our lives committed suicide. As I get older, I am more aware of mental health. If you read my blog, I have written on forgiveness, patience, self-care, depression, drug, and alcohol abuse.

On Twitter, I found out that Chris Mitchell, a Canadian travel writer and content creator based in Toronto, was starting a podcast on anxiety. I got in touch with him and asked him a few questions about anxiety.  Chris has been writing about and documenting his travels around 80 countries for a decade. Chris is also the cofounder of the Toronto Bloggers Collective, a community dedicated to supporting content creators.  I have been in groups all my life. The Toronto Bloggers Collective is one of the best groups I have been a part of. Chris is friendly, outgoing, sensitive, loving, and passionate. He loves his wife and is real and vulnerable. Abigail Van Buren said that “The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”

Many bloggers have liked my style of writing. However, when it came to collaboration it was always about my DA and PA scores. Chris was the first blogger who offered me to write a piece on Bellwoods Brewery. Read this interview a couple of times. Also if you know of anyone struggling with anxiety have them listen to the podcast.

Chris, an honor to have you on Four Columns. We are going to talk about travel, food, marriage, and anxiety. I know you started a podcast on anxiety, what is it, and how does it affect us?

Firstly, let me just thank you for having me on, Jerry. The pleasure is all mine. 

You’re absolutely right, I did just start a podcast on anxiety. It’s called “I’m Anxious About…,” and I’m proud to say it has garnered a fair bit of interest thus far. In short, it’s a podcast where my co-host Allison and I look at a different thing we’re anxious about each week and break it down with plenty of humor and honesty. 

It’s meant to be a place that folks can come for a laugh, but most importantly, it’s a place where we can share our own journey and let folks know they’re not alone. 

So far, the response has been deeply humbling, and I’m grateful I took the gamble in starting this, despite that voice in my head that offered no shortage of doubt and criticism. But that is, in essence, what this podcast is all about, right? Challenging that voice. 

Anyway, if folks are curious, they can find us wherever they find their podcasts. 

Sometimes as men, we put on this macho front. However, we are hurting inside. How did you realize you were suffering from anxiety. What made you realize this is something we have to talk about?

Well, Jerry, that’s a good question. My journey with anxiety started about a decade ago when I lost my best friend unexpectedly. His name was Kiel, and, in truth, he was more like a brother to me than a friend. I felt a lot of pain that more or less concentrated in confusion. 

I still do feel great pain, but now I’ve harnessed that to ensure I can do my best to live for both of us. I try to remember that he’d want me to think of him and smile, so I focus on the good memories. 

When I found out about his passing, it was 2011 and I was living in Seoul, South Korea with Bri. 

I would find that occasionally as we were walking along I’d almost get swept up in a river of my own thoughts. People would be talking to me, but the conversation I had in my head was drowning them out. I’d often have to head off to the bathroom to regroup. 

It took me a long time to realize that these initial struggles which I thought were isolated and fluky incidents were actually the beginning of my anxiety. Or, rather, it took me a long time to accept that. 

I began to question why my initial reaction to feeling like I may be struggling was to hide it – even from my partner. Now, I understand it’s because I had a false notion that having anxiety or depression or what have you made you weak. 

Thankfully, over time, I’ve squashed that falsehood, and now I firmly believe that true strength comes from admitting you’re not perfect, putting your ego aside, and using your openness to engage in conversations that aid others. 

Walk me through how you are dealing with it? Are you taking medication, going to the gym, meditation, or seeing a coach?

I’ve got a lot of things that I try to keep in mind to make sure I’m giving myself a good chance to be my best self. 

Firstly, I start every morning by writing in my 5 Minute Journal where I set intentions for the day. I end my day by writing in the same journal. It helps me to project what I want my day to look like, and be grateful at the end of the day. 

I also meditate and do a stretching sequence before hopping in the shower. This ensures that by the time I’m out of the shower, I’m generally in the right headspace to tackle the day. 

I’ve found that exercise is paramount for me. I exercise every day whether that’s yoga, biking, walking, going to the gym, or anything in between. A big problem I had in the past was not knowing what to do with excess energy, which could lead to me partying a bit more or staying out a bit later, so I know now that I’ve got to make sure I’m giving myself a chance to burn energy. 

There’s just no question – If I’m not exercising, I’m more anxious. 

Sleeping well, or at least trying to get a good amount of sleep also makes an enormous difference for me, so that’s something I prioritize. I talk about it on the podcast, but I just don’t get caught up on whether or not I’ve fallen asleep. I focus on rest, relaxation, and giving myself a second to process. 

Things like eating well, not drinking too much, reading every night and so forth also make a big difference. In particular, I try to ensure I’m reading at least a few books at any one time, with some mixture of fiction and nonfiction. Usually, I read about 70-80 books a year. What’s the expression, “books are the quietest and most constant of friends?” 

Finally, I’m not currently taking any medication or going to therapy. I did do some therapy last year, but, for the most part, I’ve built a lot of systems around myself that enable me to be okay, and I’m also fortunate to have people around me looking out for me. In particular, even if I’m not always at my best, but I’m blessed to have a supportive partner who also knows when I’m not at my best and helps me get back up on my feet when I need it. 

I should note here that everyone has their own journey. For some, therapy and medication are absolutely necessary, so I’m not in any way discouraging that. I also don’t think there’s any shame or weakness in that whatsoever. Everyone needs to do what is right of them.

Funny enough, the podcast is sort of serving as therapy for me, as I rehash what I’ve learned over the past decade that has helped me and may help others. It also keeps me mindful of my own mindset and I find I’m more apt at understanding and disentangling my own emotional state. 

What is your goal with the new podcast? Who is your audience? What are you trying to achieve?

Mainly, I want people to know that they’re not alone, and try also to highlight that laughter can be therapeutic. I’m intentionally diving into the sometimes absurd inner workings of my mind to let others know that it’s okay to have unique, if dizzying, thought patterns here and there. 

We haven’t been live long enough for me to have a true grasp on our audience, but, from the feedback I’ve gotten and those who have reached out to me, it appears to be folks who have suffered from anxiety or, at the very least, know someone who has, or are interested in what anxiety is all about. 

I’d like to think almost anybody could tune in, largely because we chat in a pretty humorous tone in the podcast. It could almost be confused with a comedy set if you entered at the wrong time. That being said, the goal of the podcast isn’t to make light of anxiety. It’s to show that you can have anxiety, but still, enjoy your life, and even laugh at yourself here and there. 

Congrats on winning many awards. What is unique and different about you as a travel blogger that you bring to the table? 

Well thanks, firstly. I feel fortunate to have won many awards in the past, and continue to be considered for awards in the present and future. Each one means something to me, trust me. That is something which will never get old to me, so let’s keep them coming, shall we?! 

Joking aside, I am honoured, as there are so many talented travel writers and bloggers out there. 

As far as what’s different about me, it’s a great question. I honestly don’t know. I mean, I’ve read voraciously since I was young, and I took English Lit. in university, so I think I’ve got the writing structure down pat, but I know it’s more than that. It honestly may come down to my intense curiosity. I’m profoundly interested in the places I visit, and perhaps that comes across to readers. 

I’d also like to think that I’m writing to elevate my readers and not alienate them. Nobody wants to know where I’ve been and how much fun I had, they want to see themselves in my adventures, and know that my writing is empowering them to chase their own adventures. In the end, I write for my readers, and not for myself. 

I also adore writing in the strongest sense. Without writing, I don’t think I’d understand myself or this world. I travel physically with planes, but mentally with words. 

Talk to me about a favorite city of yours/ What is it about that city that we should visit and the food scene?

That would have to be Istanbul, my friend. Istanbul, to me, feels like the centre of the world. I lived there for 3 years, and while I was there, I felt like I had my fingers on the pulse of the planet. I was tapped into millennia of history just by walking around the streets and areas of the present day. 

The food scene is on another level as well, especially when it comes to Turkish breakfast. I’ve actually covered exactly how you should tackle Istanbul (including Turkish breakfast) in this article on my site, appropriately called, “Istanbul Travel Tips – Travel Advice for Istanbul From a Former Resident.” 

I also did an episode on the Amateur Traveler podcast! 

That should help folks out fairly well if they’re looking to visit. I’ve been to 80 countries and thousands of towns, villages, and cities at this point and I’ll be blunt – you have not seen the world until you’ve been to Istanbul. 

It is, to me, the greatest city on the planet.

I see you are a romantic guy. Help me understand how marriage has changed you as a person? What surprised you the most? Do you recommend it?

I do try to be romantic or, at the very least, sentimental. I would say that marriage itself hasn’t necessarily changed my life dramatically, but nothing has had a greater impact on my life than my relationship with Bri. 

We’ve been together 10 years and married 2. So, what I’m saying is I don’t think you have to be married to appreciate your partner or be impacted by them, but I did appreciate the ceremonious commitment. 

Our wedding day was just perfect and brought together people from all over the world. 

I’ve just been lucky enough to have found my soulmate, and I think that’s what it’s all about. I would do anything for Bri, and perhaps marriage is one way we can let our partner know just that. 

I want to know something very challenging you have experienced? What did you do to overcome it?

I had a difficult time readjusting to life in Toronto in 2017 after living in Istanbul for three years. Most notably, I came back to Toronto and decided that I wouldn’t be pursuing teaching opportunities, which was made more ironic by the fact that I had just completed my Masters. 

That being said, I had the sense that I had to go in on my own and see what I could do. It’s a stressful thing to bet all your chips on something, but it’s also invigorating. Though, in retrospect, it was often a fine line between stress and excitement.

I began by growing out of the travelingmitch brand, especially on Twitter where I found a big audience for one reason or another. I began to go to conferences left, right, and center, and I became hungry to both learn and grow. 

Not long after that, I co-founded the Toronto Bloggers Collective because I decided that I couldn’t quite find the community I was looking for in Toronto, so it was time to create it. As you well know, that decision has had a huge positive impact on my life, and I hope it’s positively impacted folks like yourself and other members. 

Then, I started Ultimate Ontario to showcase what was going on in the province alongside Kev from the Toronto Bloggers Collective. As you can see, it was all about keeping moving for me. 

I also founded two podcasts and had my hands in a number of other projects. 

I put myself in a sink or swim scenario and thankfully I learned that I can indeed swim, which is a lesson I’m carrying with me even now. 

When this pandemic hit, it’s not a shock that I started the new podcast on anxiety because my reaction to struggle now is thinking about what I can create to solve problems for others. It gives me a sense of purpose. 

Finally, I want you to give three tips to a new blogger?

I’ll keep it simple. 

Be curious. Be patient. Be bold.

The post Chris Mitchell talks about anxiety appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

Gratitude is an antidote to negative emotions, a neutralizer of envy, hostility, worry, and irritation. It is savoring; it is not taking things for granted; it is present-oriented – Sonja Lyubomirsky

Prologue

On a cold day in January 2016, I am flying to London, UK, to get trained for two weeks for a dream job. The same year, one of my closest friends, Bill McLean, died of cancer. I was like 2017 better be good. In November 2017, a high school classmate died of a heart attack. In February 2018, I was talking to one of my closest friends from university, and that same night, he passed away. His death hit me hard. It took me a good six months to recover. 2019 was going well. I had great plans for 2020. In one week in December 2019, I was laid off from a start-up, Debbie was diagnosed with cancer, and my mom’s health was deteriorating. In March 2020, the day I was going to get a job offer, the COVID quarantine hit. Talk about a perfect storm.

My parents, friends, and work colleagues were all commenting on how well I was handling the storm.

Do you want an abundance of physical, mental, and social bliss? How about feeling optimistic, happy, and connected even during challenging times? I am sure you want better sleep, self-esteem, high energy, a stronger immune system, better emotional intelligence, and to build a capacity to forgive.

I have the answer. It is gratitude.

What is Gratitude

Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation – Brian Tracy

The Oxford Dictionary defines gratitude as the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness. It is derived from the Latin word gratia which stands for gratefulness, grace, or graciousness. When a human being receives something whether tangible or intangible and shows a thankful appreciation, it is gratitude. The person focuses on the positive in their life. Positive thinking helps the person to connect with something bigger than them, to other people, nature, and God.

Thesaurus has a few synonyms for gratitude and a whole subset of words and meaning attached to it. The synonyms are thankfulness, gratefulness, tribute, acknowledgment, appreciation, benediction, and recognition for the good in their life.

Gratitude and forgiveness have been my two biggest weaknesses. I have written extensively in this blog about it. It was only after marriage that Debbie has taught me about these two amazing qualities.

Modern Psychology and Gratitude

Nothing is more honorable than a grateful heart – Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Martin Seligman a famous psychologist did something very revolutionary more than three decades ago. Until that time psychologists focused on negative emotions like stress, addiction, trauma, and mental illness. Seligman looked at altruism, compassion, happiness, forgiveness, optimism, and gratitude.

Robert Emmons is the world’s leading expert on gratitude. His research has shown that expressing gratitude has a positive impact on human beings by improving their mental, physical, and relational well-being, and the effect lasts long.

Randy Kamen another psychologist talks about focusing on what you have rather than what is lacking in your life. The goal is to retrain the brain and to see the positive.

Gratitude was always part of the philosophical and religious domain in academia. So, it is interesting to see Psychologists getting interested in this area.

The benefits of An Attitude of Gratitude

I’ve had a remarkable life. I seem to be in such good places at the right time. You know, if you were to ask me to sum my life up in one word, gratitude – Dietrich Bonhoeffer

An attitude of gratitude is a choice, a habit that has to be developed and strengthened daily to gain the benefits. Gratitude detaches us and redeems us from negative feelings and toxic emotions. Gratitude leads to joy. Gratitude has a positive influence on the brain that is long-lasting. Gratitude improves relationships and problem-solving skills. Gratitude makes us better learners. It may seem contrived in the beginning but trust me as time passes you will notice a big difference.

The Journal of Applied Sport Psychology in a study in 2014 stated that gratitude improves self-esteem. Personality and Individual Differences published a study in 2012 that found that gratitude improves physical health. In the same year, the University of Kentucky’s research on gratitude found it improves empathy and reduces aggression. The Journal of Personality and Social Psychology in a 2003 study concluded that gratitude helped people in building resilience after 9/11.

How to develop an attitude of gratitude

When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change – Wayne Dyer

Keep a Journal

In 2011, research published in Applied Psychology: Health and Well-Being found that writing a gratitude journal improves sleep. I have found this has helped me tremendously. I have a personal gratitude journal. It is easy for me to focus on friends that I have lost, setbacks in my career, career moves I should have made. I do not stress on coming up with things or making up stuff.  By keeping a gratitude journal, my mental health is better as I am not focusing on envy or resentment but focusing on the positive in my life and how blessed it is.

However, I am focusing on:

I still have an amazing set of friends from grade 8, high school, university, and the business world. There are a few in Toronto that I have been doing breakfast or lunch once a month for the last 25 years

I have a roof over my head, food in the fridge, clothes, money in the bank and two cars outside

Grateful for OHIP (free medical care in Ontario)

I am in good health

I have a job working from home

Living in one of the best cities in the best country in the world

People who we do not know cooking food for us

People driving Debbie to her appointments

Debbie and Jean love me unconditionally

I am one of the few people I know that have both their parents alive

As you focus on the positive, you are more joyful. I even tell Debbie, what if cancer happened a decade back? She was running a daycare and Jean was only 6. I have never created a fake sense of blessedness. I focus on counting all the blessings I have.

Say and write thank you often

Today I wrote a note of thanks to all the people who are delivering meals to us. I thank fellow bloggers for following me or inspiring me. As you show your appreciation you just get this great feeling. You are also nurturing your own relationship with the other person. Let them know how they impact your life. I also want to challenge you to write a thank you letter to yourself.

Practice breathing

I am horrible at meditation. One of the things I do is just sit and breathe. It calms me down. As I breathe I just focus on all the positive things that are happening in my life. As I am practicing gratitude I am also training my brain to focus on the positive aspect of life. As I breathe, I am also focusing on the positive that is going around me. The brain is calm. The positive affirmations are entering your subconscious mind.

Pray

I do this often and often go for long walks just to contemplate.

How to deal with challenges that stop you from being grateful

If you concentrate on finding whatever is good in every situation, you will discover that your life will suddenly be filled with gratitude, a feeling that nurtures the soul — Rabbi Harold Kushner

We all have a critical inner voice. That negative inner voice has to be silenced. If it is not silenced it can play havoc with us feeling grateful. If you listen to the inner voice you can become bitter and resentful and not allow any love or compassion to creep in.

I want to show an example of listening to the critical inner voice versus embracing gratitude.

I have planned a golf outing with a friend of mine for Sunday afternoon. I am looking forward to it and as the day approaches it is raining heavily. I freak out. I get worked up and emotional that the day is ruined. I take it personally and start blaming the weather for my mood. I take out my frustration with my wife. My perception was that the rain messed up my weekend. My negative thought patterns which started in my critical inner voice have now been blown out of proportion. It has a negative influence on my wife and daughter.

My friend, on the other hand, was also looking forward to playing golf. He accepted the rain and surrendered. He called me and told me that he will focus on cleaning the house and then cook for his wife. He also thinks the grass does not have to be watered. My friend made a conscious and intentional decision to make the best out of the situation. At the end of the day, it is all about perception. My friend surrendered with humility.

Epilogue

The last few months have been hectic. I was going to work then rushing back, cooking, cleaning, and doing laundry. The truth was I was burning out. All my life from a young age I have been a volunteer. Even at the new job, I was driving people. Someone approached me at the office and said ‘Jerry, this is the time for you to be selfish. COVID-19 is happening and your wife’s immune system is compromised. You do not have to drive anyone’.

Someone challenged me to ask for help. I hate asking for help. The person reminded me that I am stopping other people from getting blessed. It was my pride and being a control freak that did not want to ask for help. And then due to high winds, my fence came down.

As a result of that conversation, I pleaded for help. I just explained what was going on in our lives. Carolyn Gerber who was bringing us meals for the last couple of weeks made a meal train, and the love, support and offers just poured in.

On Monday, after I was looking at the damage the wind had done and was stepping out, I see a van parked in front of my house. I see some young kids in the back of the car and the mother offers me food. Her name is Devon Dienesch. I am blown away. We have a quick chat and we have a few common acquaintances and I take the food inside. Debbie shows me the note with the food. Later that night I read the note and I just started crying. Here was this encouraging note from an innocent child.

I have a choice to focus on the fence and all the other challenges I am facing or seeing the goodness in all these people who are going out of their way and serving us.

I was then reminded of the time in grade 11 and 12 for early morning service at Bishop Cotton School, reading in front of 300 boys, Philippians 4:6: Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.

I remembered Arun Sachdev a heart surgeon visiting from Thailand and as Vipul Goel was driving us to Niagara, Arun started quoting Psalm 7:17: I will thank the Lord because he is just; I will sing praise to the name of the Lord Most High. I am like you still remember those scriptures and you are Hindu, dude.

No matter what comes my way, I will be grateful. I know many of you are going through challenges. It is not going to be easy. Be grateful.

Photo Credits: Brooke Cagle Gian Cescon Erriko Boccia Gabrielle Henderson Priscilla Du Preez  AndriyKo Podilnyk

The post Discover the transformative attitude of gratitude appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

Paula Novella is a blogger based in Melbourne, Australia. We catch up and talk about honesty, integrity, and what her blog is all about.

Paula, please share a little about yourself.

I am a 52-year-old who has been focused on living a healthy lifestyle for the last few years. I wrote my first story one year before I published it, but very happy I did!

What is your blog about? What is unique about it and who is your audience?

My blog is a health and well-being blog and I think what sets it apart is that I want to engage with my readers. I named the blog ‘shared stories’ because I want the blog to be interactive. A platform for everyone to ‘share’ their ‘story’ and for this reason my audience is everyone!

Why did you get into blogging?

I started blogging because I love to write and can’t believe how much ‘stuff’ I had in my head.

Talk to me about the city you live in? The food scene…restaurants and why we should visit it?

I live in Melbourne, Australia which is a great city with an abundance of nightlife, restaurants, and bars, not to mention the music scene available.

What does women empowerment mean to you?

Women’s empowerment is especially important because not all women are able to achieve without it.

Life is challenging. Help me understand something you have been through, what you learned from it and how you dealt with it?

My mother’s death when I was a young 19-year-old totally changed my life and I know that had she not left me when I was just starting my life I would be a totally different person to who I am today.

What are some values in life that you stick by?

I believe that integrity and honesty are two very important qualities in a person.  I try to live my life respecting everyone’s right to their opinions but try very hard to not let that get in their or my way of achieving goals.

How do you balance faith, food, finance, and family in the 21st century?

I believe that setting and working towards goals is very important and that balance in everything is the key.

The post Paula Novella: Honesty & Integrity appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

I have been to every state and province of central and northern India. I have met many Yogis and have seen some of them standing for days in a certain position. What is Yoga? What are all the Yoga poses, Hatha Yoga, Bikram Yoga, Hot Yoga, Kundalini Yoga, Ashtanga Yoga, Yoga asanas, Yoga Nidra, Vinyasa Yoga, Restorative Yoga, Sahaja Yoga, and Prana Yoga?

I talk to Mudit, a childhood friend of mine, who has been practicing it for a long time. I want to get deeper into it, besides all the commercialization and products that it entails. Mudit has an MBA and has been working as the Head of Retail for a bank in Dubai (UAE). His career has spanned three decades over 5 countries. However, Yoga, meditation, and mindfulness have always been a passion since school, but over the last decade has become the central pillar in his life. He desires to introduce as many people to these practices. He believes they are secular, free, and the answer to some of the world’s problems like loneliness, radicalism, depression, and poor mental/ physical health. Mudit would like to spend the rest of his life as an evangelist to share knowledge about these practices around the world and to help improve the quality of people’s lives.

Mudit, I always thought we would be sitting in London or New York over an investment banking deal. Here we are talking about spirituality and Yoga. Please tell my audience what Yoga is?

Yoga is a Sanskrit word that comes from the word “Yuj”, which means to “join” or to “unite”.  At a basic level, it means to join or unite the body with the mind. At a more spiritual level, it implies a process of joining or uniting a human with the eternal spirit (Brahman).

The first time Yoga was mentioned was in the “Rig Veda,” an ancient Sanskrit text (approx. 10,000 years old). Further mentions are found in the “Svetasvatara and Katha Upanishads and the Bhagavad Gita (Vedic texts) and several types of Yoga are mentioned like Karma Yoga, Bhakti Yoga, Gyan Yoga, Raja Yoga, etc. This knowledge was part of Vedic thought encapsulated in the concept of “Sanatana Dharma” or Eternal principles (truths) that were meant to be relevant across all time periods. This knowledge evolved within the Indian subcontinent by the “Rishis” (seers) as was part of the earliest civilizations on planet earth.

Centuries later Patanjali produced a text called “Yoga Sutras” on the philosophy of Yoga.  He outlined eight limbs (steps) which are meant to be sequentially followed on the path to self-realization.

Yama – Five abstentions (or outer observances), (Ahimsa (non-harming or non-violence in thought, word, and deed), Satya (truthfulness), Asteya (non-stealing), Brahmacharya (celibacy or ‘right use of energy’), Aparigraha (non-greed or non-hoarding)

Niyama – Five inner observances, (Shaucha (purification), Santosha (contentment), Tapas (self-discipline), Svadhyaya (self-study), Ishvara Pranidhana (devotion)

Asana – Meaning “seat” and referring to the physical posture needed for meditation which popularly evolved as “Hatha Yoga”

Pranayama – Controlled or suspended breath/breathing exercises

Pratyahara – Withdrawal of the senses

Dharana – Single-pointed concentration

Dhyana – Meditation (discussed later)

Samadhi – Liberation

Most of the Western world, however, is familiar and primarily concerned with “Asana” or Hatha Yoga which are physical postures which are required for good health and wellbeing.

Is Hatha Yoga (asana) the same as physical exercises?

They are NOT the same and very different. In Hatha Yoga, the individual is meant to focus or bring awareness to his movements and breath. As a result, it was meant to be performed with a concentration inquietude. In exercises, there is no requirement to concentrate and hence very often gyms have music, TVs, etc. to entertain people. In exercises very often weights and machines are used, but in Yoga, an individual uses his body weight if required. Some props may be used in Yoga like towels or belts to help individuals reach a certain posture. Further exercises are primarily concerned with the outer body (muscles etc.) whilst Yoga works at massaging and stimulating organs within the body in addition to the outer body.

What are the benefits of Yoga (Hatha Yoga)?

There are many remarkable benefits of Yoga:

Improves your flexibility

Builds muscle strength

Perfects your posture

Prevents cartilage and joint breakdown

Protects spine

Better bone health

Improves relaxation

Improves health

Regulates glands

Boosts immunity

Makes you happier

Help me understand what is Meditation?

The English word meditation is derived from an old French word meditacioun and the Latin meditatio from a verb meditari, meaning “to think, contemplate, devise, ponder”.

Meditation is a western word for the eastern Vedic practice of “Dhyana” mentioned as the seventh step in Patanjali’s “Yoga Sutras” and only one before the final 8^th step of Samadhi (nirvana, moksha, self-realization).

The origin of the word “Dhyana” comes from the Sanskrit word “Dhyai” which is interpreted in English to mean to contemplate.

The classical definition of Dhyana/Meditation is the ability to focus on an “object or thought or being” to the exclusion of all other thoughts. This is possible ONLY when the mind is quiet, disciplined, and is a result of the vigorous spiritual practice of the first 6 steps of the Patanjali yoga sutras. It is possible only when the mind has been trained to withdraw its senses from the external world of objects and beings.

Today human beings are constantly subject to external messaging in terms of communication in various forms that encourage them to consume more (hence the term consumers) to live the projected perfect life. Success is defined materially in terms of material wealth reflected in terms of income, cars, houses, holidays, etc. The “instant culture” of instant success, recognition, satiation has resulted in minds and bodies being agitated and in constant flux as people feel inadequate and strive harder for instant gratification and in the process, disturb natural body rhythms of getting rest, sleep, etc. The results are a host of ailments from obesity to indigestion, to behavioral disorders, depression, etc.

As is the case for most spiritual practices, the constraints of modern living in terms of time constraints have led to the dilution of disciplined practices to adapt to modern-day living needs. However, the benefits of these practices can still be reaped in modern-day life.

Walk me through the process of how to start meditation?

People practice many different forms of meditation, most of which don’t require specialized equipment or space. You can practice with just a few minutes daily, to begin with, and increase gradually as time permits. If you want to start meditating, try choosing a form of meditation based on what you want to get out of it. There are two major styles of meditation.

In focused attention meditation, concentrate on:

An object like a candle, sun or moon

A thought like gratitude, kindness or health

A sound like sounds of nature (waves, snowfall, wind)

A visualization like walking on the beach, in a forest or by the sea

The emphasis is on getting rid of distractions. Meditation focuses on breathing or a mantra like ‘Om’.

An open monitoring meditation encourages broadened awareness of all aspects of your environment, train of thought, and sense of self.

It may include becoming aware of thoughts, feelings, or impulses that you might normally try to suppress. There are many forms of guided meditation (someone speaking and guiding you ) available on YouTube or even apps like Calm etc. that can help a new student

If your regular work and home environments do not allow for consistent, quiet alone time, consider participating in a class. This can also improve your chances of success by providing a supportive community.

Alternatively, consider setting your alarm a few minutes early to take advantage of quiet time in the morning. This may help you develop a consistent habit and allow you to start the day positively.

Do I have to sit in a specific way for Meditation?

Here’s a posture practice that can be used as the beginning stage of a period of meditation practice or simply as something to do for a minute, maybe to stabilize yourself and find a moment of relaxation before going back into the fray. If you have injuries or other physical difficulties, you can modify this to suit your situation.

Take your seat. Whatever you’re sitting on—a chair, a meditation cushion, a park bench—find a spot that gives you a stable, solid seat, not perching or hanging back.

Notice what your legs are doing. If on a cushion on the floor, cross your legs comfortably in front of you. (If you already do some kind of seated yoga posture, go ahead.) If on a chair, it’s good if the bottoms of your feet are touching the floor.

Straighten—but don’t stiffen— your upper body. The spine has a natural curvature. Let it be there. Your head and shoulders can comfortably rest on top of your vertebrae.

Situate your upper arms parallel to your upper body. Then let your hands drop onto the tops of your legs. With your upper arms at your sides, your hands will land in the right spot. Too far forward will make you hunch. Too far back will make you stiff. You’re tuning the strings of your body—not too tight and not too loose.

Drop your chin a little and let your gaze fall gently downward. You may let your eyelids lower. If you feel the need, you may lower them completely, but it’s not necessary to close your eyes when meditating. You can simply let what appears before your eyes be there without focusing on it.

Be there for a few moments. Relax. Now get up and go about your day.

Tell me some of the benefits of Meditation?

The benefits of meditations are:

Reduces stress

Controls anxiety

Controls blood pressure

Promotes mental health

Enhanced self-awareness

May reduce age-related memory loss

Lengthens attention span

Can generate kindness

May help fight addictions

Improves sleep

I have to be honest. I have no idea about mindfulness. What is it? What should I know about it?

Mindfulness is a type of meditation. It was popularized originally by Buddhism which emerged as a reformist movement from Hinduism in the Indian subcontinent.

The Buddhist term translated into English as “mindfulness” originates in the Pali term Sati and in its Sanskrit counterpart Smriti.

According to Robert Sharf, Smriti originally meant “to remember,” “to recollect,” “to bear in mind,” as in the Vedic tradition of remembering the sacred texts. The term Sati also means “to remember.” In the Satipaṭṭhāna-sutta (Buddhist texts) the term Sati means to remember the Dharmas whereby the true nature of phenomena can be seen.

Mindfulness is the basic human ability to be fully present, aware of where we are and what we’re doing, and not overly reactive or overwhelmed by what’s going on around us.

A few things to know about mindfulness:

Mindfulness is not obscure or exotic. It’s familiar to us because it’s what we already do, how we already are. It takes many shapes and goes by many names.

Mindfulness is not a special added thing we do. We already have the capacity to be present, and it doesn’t require us to change who we are. But we can cultivate these innate qualities with simple practices that are scientifically demonstrated to benefit ourselves, our loved ones, our friends and neighbors, the people we work with, and the institutions and organizations we take part in

You don’t need to change. Solutions that ask us to change who we are or become something we’re not have failed us repeatedly. Mindfulness recognizes and cultivates the best of who we are as human beings.

Mindfulness has the potential to become a transformative social phenomenon. Here’s why:

Anyone can do it. Mindfulness practice cultivates universal human qualities and does not require anyone to change their beliefs. Everyone can benefit and it’s easy to learn

It’s a way of living.  Mindfulness is more than just a practice. It brings awareness and caring into everything we do—and it cuts down needless stress. Even a little makes our lives better.

It’s evidence-based. We don’t have to take mindfulness on faith. Both science and experience demonstrate its positive benefits for our health, happiness, work, and relationships.

It sparks innovation. As we deal with our world’s increasing complexity and uncertainty, mindfulness can lead us to effective, resilient, low-cost responses to seemingly intransigent problems.

Talk to me about some of the mindfulness techniques?

There is more than one way to practice mindfulness, but the goal of any mindfulness technique is to achieve a state of alert, focused relaxation by deliberately paying attention to thoughts and sensations without judgment. This allows the mind to refocus on the present moment. All mindfulness techniques are a form of meditation.

Basic mindfulness meditation – Sit quietly and focus on your natural breathing or on a word or “mantra” that you repeat silently. Allow thoughts to come and go without judgment and return to your focus on breath or mantra.

Body sensations – Notice subtle body sensations such as an itch or tingling without judgment and let them pass. Notice each part of your body in succession from head to toe.

Sensory – Notice sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and touches. Name them “sight,” “sound,” “smell,” “taste,” or “touch” without judgment and let them go.

Emotions – Allow emotions to be present without judgment. Practice a steady and relaxed naming of emotions: “joy,” “anger,” “frustration.” Accept the presence of the emotions without judgment and let them go.

Urge surfing – Cope with cravings (for addictive substances or behaviors) and allow them to pass. Notice how your body feels as the craving enters. Replace the wish for the craving to go away with the certain knowledge that it will subside.

Mindfulness meditation and other practices

Mindfulness can be cultivated through mindfulness meditation, a systematic method of focusing your attention. You can learn to meditate on your own, following instructions in books or on tape. However, you may benefit from the support of an instructor or group to answer questions and help you stay motivated. Look for someone using meditation in a way compatible with your beliefs and goals.

If you have a medical condition, you may prefer a medically oriented program that incorporates meditation. Ask your physician or hospital about local groups. Insurance companies increasingly cover the cost of meditation instruction.

Getting started on your own. Some types of meditation primarily involve concentration—repeating a phrase or focusing on the sensation of breathing, allowing the parade of thoughts that inevitably arise to come and go. Concentration meditation techniques, as well as other activities such as tai chi or yoga, can induce a well-known relaxation response, which is very valuable in reducing the body’s response to stress.

Mindfulness meditation builds upon concentration practices. Here’s how it works:

Go with the flow. In mindfulness meditation, once you establish concentration, you observe the flow of inner thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations without judging them as good or bad.

Pay attention. You also notice external sensations such as sounds, sights, and touch that make up your moment-to-moment experience. The challenge is not to latch onto an idea, emotion, or sensation, or to get caught in thinking about the past or the future. Instead, you watch what comes and goes in your mind and discover which mental habits produce a feeling of well-being or suffering.

Stay with it. At times, this process may not seem relaxing at all, but over time it provides a key to greater happiness and self-awareness as you become comfortable with a wider and wider range of your experiences.

Practice acceptance

Above all, mindfulness practice involves accepting whatever arises in your awareness at each moment. It involves being kind and forgiving toward yourself.

Some tips to keep in mind:

Gently redirect. If your mind wanders into planning, daydreaming, or criticism, notice where it has gone and gently redirect it to sensations in the present.

Try and try again. If you miss your intended meditation session, simply start again.

By practicing accepting your experience during meditation, it becomes easier to accept whatever comes your way during the rest of your day.

Let’s talk about the benefits of Mindfulness?

Mindfulness improves well-being. Increasing your capacity for mindfulness supports many attitudes that contribute to a satisfying life. Being mindful makes it easier to savor the pleasures in life as they occur, helps you become fully engaged in activities, and creates a greater capacity to deal with adverse events. By focusing on the here and now, many people who practice mindfulness find that they are less likely to get caught up in worries about the future or regrets over the past, are less preoccupied with concerns about success and self-esteem and are better able to form deep connections with others.

Mindfulness improves physical health. If greater well-being isn’t enough of an incentive, scientists have discovered that mindfulness techniques help improve physical health in a number of ways. Mindfulness can: help relieve stress, treat heart disease, lower blood pressure, reduce chronic pain, improve sleep, and alleviate gastrointestinal difficulties.

Mindfulness improves mental health. In recent years, psychotherapists have turned to mindfulness meditation as an important element in the treatment of a number of problems, including depression, substance abuse, eating disorders, couples’ conflicts, anxiety disorders, and obsessive-compulsive disorder.

I hear a lot about Transcendental Meditation. What is Transcendental Meditation?

This is another type of meditation.

The Transcendental Meditation technique or TM is a form of mantra meditation developed by Maharishi Mahesh Yogi.  “Mantra is a specific thought which suits us, a suitable sound for us which we receive from a trained teacher of Transcendental Meditation. The meditation practice involves the use of a mantra and is practiced for 20 minutes twice per day while sitting with one’s eyes closed.

The TM technique consists of silently repeating a mantra with “gentle effortlessness” while sitting comfortably with eyes closed and without assuming any special yoga position. The mantra is said to be a vehicle that allows the individual’s attention to travel naturally to a less active, quieter style of mental functioning.

Like all meditation techniques, the benefits are similar resulting in improved health, wellbeing, being calmer and more efficient.

Does Yoga or Meditation involve faith?

Yoga and meditation are universal practices to be followed even though they may originate in India which is primarily known as a Hindu country. These are gifts to the world from one of the oldest civilizations.

It is like saying that the iPhone or Computer is Christian because it was developed in a country that practices Christianity.

Any civilized open-minded individual should follow these practices as they are the most natural, non-invasive practices which result in improved physical and mental health.

These practices are highly recommended in a world that is getting polarized, radicalized, and fragmented based on religion and race.

It is my firm conviction that because these practices are based on principles of human love, compassion, and acceptance they will promote harmony and peace.

Highly recommended for everyone to have a more peaceful life and coexistence.

The post 24 astonishing benefits of yoga, meditation and mindfulness appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.