Praneet Kaur is a successful recruitment consultant who talks about leaving an abusive marriage and building a life for herself. I admire her for her tenacity, her will, fortitude to rise and create a successful career. Praneet Kaur shows us that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Her story is about overcoming and facing challenges.

If you find yourself in an abusive marriage or relationship you must prioritize your safety and well-being. If you’re in immediate danger, call emergency services or your local domestic violence hotline. Have a safety plan in place. Identify safe spaces in your home and develop an exit strategy. Confide in someone you trust – a friend, family member, or coworker. Share your experiences to build a support network. Contact a local domestic violence hotline or organization. They can provide guidance, resources, and support. Consult with a therapist or counselor who specializes in domestic abuse. They can help you process your emotions, explore options, and develop coping strategies. Consider seeking legal advice to understand your rights and options, especially if you are considering divorce or separation. Keep records of incidents, including dates, times, and descriptions of abusive behavior. Document injuries with photographs and seek medical attention if needed. If possible, work towards financial independence or secure access to funds. Open a separate bank account and ensure you have access to important financial documents. Plan for a safe exit if you decide to leave. This may involve seeking temporary shelter or staying with a friend or family member. Pack a bag with essential items, including important documents, medication, and personal items. Investigate legal protections available, such as obtaining a restraining order or order of protection. Educate yourself about domestic violence laws in your area. Understanding your rights can empower you to make informed decisions. Stay in touch with friends and family, and let them know about your situation. They can be a crucial support system. Prioritize self-care and emotional well-being. Seek activities that bring you joy and provide a healthy outlet for stress.

I sit down and have a chat with Praneet about her journey. I have learned a lot about overcoming challenges from Praneet Kaur.

Praneet Kaur, It was a pleasure to connect with you a while back. Welcome to my blog and let’s start by you telling my audience something about you.

Jerry, thank you for allowing me to share my experiences and thoughts. Thank you for thinking of me!

I am single and a proud mother to a beautiful 3-year-old girl. She is at the center of everything I do and is my strength in everything thick and thin. I am a recruiter by profession and in my free time, I love to indulge in different forms of art such as painting, dancing, and embroidery. I am a foodie and a believer in superheroes, magic, and fairy tales.

Walk me through the life experience that has helped shape your present.

I am from India and come from a simple family. I moved to Canada a decade ago to pursue my MBA. After graduation and a few years of work, I moved back to India to spend time with my family. During my time in India, through a close relative’s suggestion, I got married within a short time. My husband worked in the US and after marriage, I moved to the US on a dependent visa. Like most people, I wasn’t ready for the unexpected sequence of events, let alone figuring out how to deal with it. The trauma and anxiety I endured influenced my outlook towards life to a great extent but it only made me stronger and more determined.

Three years ago, during the early hours of March 5th, I held my two-week-old daughter in my arms as cops walked around in my house. They had my husband in custody and were cross-examining me, my mother, and my mother-in-law. The previous night, you must know that I was a victim of another incident of domestic violence. This wasn’t the first time I was abused, as it occurred at regular intervals since my marriage in 2015. I had hoped things would change after the birth of our child. Talk about living in hope only to see it shattered time and again! I picked myself up each time life threw me down, hoping that a new day would bring a new ray of hope.

After the cross-examination and answering a series of uncomfortable questions, I looked around to see the four walls of the place that I once called home, quickly disappear. The police suggested I find another place to keep me and my baby safe. There I was then, staring into the jaws of a never-ending living hell with no job, a broken marriage, a baby without a father, and no place to go to. A relative of mine who I wasn’t very close to came to my rescue. They took me under their wings and I lived with them for a month before moving to Canada.

It’s been a little over three years since that day and I am thankful to my family, relatives, and close friends who stood by me. Although divorced, I am now free, independent, and enjoy life to the fullest. And so does my daughter. I work for an amazing organization, and have great colleagues, and I continue to invest in my professional and personal development by studying part-time, learning salsa, and just appreciating each day as it comes. It’s been a humbling experience and it keeps me grounded in life. I chose to look at the tumultuous experiences as a stepping stone to achieving better outcomes in life.

Motherhood is huge. Praneet Kaur, help me understand how motherhood has impacted your life.

Motherhood has been a wonderful journey and the most gratifying experience. It is often inexplicable as it takes you through a mix of emotions. My daughter, undoubtedly, is the apple of my eye. She inspires me to work harder and be happier. From the ultrasound trips to her stretching and from her incessant hiccups in my womb to the first time I held her, this kid has helped me be strong and confident. There’s hardly a hurdle I can’t overcome with my daughter by my side. She completes me in all aspects!

I resonate with the adage, “Birth takes a woman’s deepest fears about herself and shows her that she is stronger than them.” I wish to make everything beautiful and happy for her and give her the life any kid deserves. She gives me the strength to fight the rigmarole of life and I find it easier to find inner peace in her company when things go awry. Motherhood has taught me to be patient and resilient. We laugh and cry together like there’s no tomorrow. While she takes her tiny steps each day, she’s helped me to make my tiny steps towards a better and more peaceful life.

What does female empowerment mean to you as a modern-day woman?

Female empowerment is the ability to make life-determining decisions through different problems in society. My experiences more than anything else have helped me understand this in its truest sense. Today, I stand strong, confident, and independent. I’ve taken charge of my life and I am proud as it gives me the power and the ability to instill the same qualities and capabilities in my daughter. In simple terms, female empowerment is giving women the right to live life just as men do. It means to create a society, where women have the opportunity and resources to live life with a sense of dignity and self-worth and with equal access to resources, rights, and status.

Female empowerment is not something you give but rather something you share with women without any conditions or restrictions. It’s not about what women can do, or what we decide they can wear and whom they choose to be friends with; decided often by other people in certain cultures. It’s about how we enable them to choose their journey that reflects their preferences and individuality. Reflecting on my own experiences, female empowerment starts at home and extends into the broader society.

Talk to me about your passion for recruitment.

I know what it is to incur huge debts with no sight of a job on the horizon. It can erode your confidence and make you question your abilities. I recall how this one person, who coincidentally happened to be my junior in college, helped me find my first job. We had never met but I give credit to his relentless efforts in coaching me and helping me prepare for the interview, which eventually helped me amazingly secure my first job. The ability to connect people with their dream job ignites my passion and purpose in life. If I can’t find them a dream job today, I endeavor to keep in touch or act as a coach and talk them through a gloomy day. All it takes are words of encouragement and that’s all that some people might need to not give up.

It gives me immense pleasure when I am successful in assisting new immigrants and graduates to get back on their feet in a fiercely competitive and sometimes brutal economy. I love recruitment for the intrinsic satisfaction it provides especially when I see people do well in the jobs I have placed them in. And, frankly, they return the favor with countless blessings and good wishes – you can never have enough of that!

How can immigrants become successful in Toronto like Praneet Kaur?

To new immigrants, I have 3 pieces of advice:

1. Network – Connect with as many professionals as you can over LinkedIn or any other way that you are comfortable with. Connect for suggestions and ideas – not for a job to start with. They might not become your employers but could connect you with someone who might become your future employer.
2. Integrate – Adapt the diverse Canadian culture and explore the various bridging programs. In class, education is the best way to meet people in the industry. Volunteering for different programs not only allows you to network but also allows you to give back to society.
3. Patience – Know that the pain is temporary and don’t give up, if you don’t believe in yourself, then no one else will. Finding a job is a job in itself. It takes time, a lot of work, and some amount of luck! Never say never and don’t lose hope. You will see light at the end of the tunnel.

How is food, faith, finance, and family important to you, and how do you find balance?

My family is the most important and everything else falls in place by itself. My family has given me the confidence to stand strong. Everyone has different priorities and the way we find our balance is unique to our situations. The key is to understand where your priorities lie.

The post Praneet Kaur: Leaving an Abusive Marriage appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

What is motherhood? What is surrogate motherhood? What is single motherhood? Where is motherhood maternity near me? These are some of the most common questions on Google.

Motherhood is one of the most compelling, influential, potent, effectual words and experiences. Being a mother echoes separately and is the most cherished, divine, angelic, and revered journey a woman will travel in her life.

As a father, it is difficult for me to write what it actually means. As I saw Jean grow in the belly of her mother, I realized we were becoming a family of three people. As I saw Jean kick and move in the belly and see the hands through the stomach it was magical. To hold her in my arms after the C section was a miracle.

I have noticed motherhood changed Debbie. It was a new and exciting chapter in her life. It made her more emotional and in touch with herself. It was also very exhausting. She also had to learn to balance other relationships and responsibilities in her life. Sophia Loren talks about “When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child.” Kate Winslet says “Having children just puts the whole world into perspective. Everything else just disappears.”

Mckayla Butcher blogs about motherhood, marriage, and faith. She is real, funny, vulnerable, and writes from her own experience. I have enjoyed every article because it hits home. I sit down and talk about motherhood and relationships.

McKayla tell my audience something unique about you?

This question is always so hard! I would have to say something interesting about me is that I use to be a super extroverted person, and about 4 years ago that changed! I am now very introverted and prefer to have a very small circle of people I am close to. Not sure what happened, but I’ve noticed a lot of my personality had changed in the last few years. I think I am growing into the person I am going to be for the rest of my life. 

You blog about motherhood, marriage, and faith. So let’s talk motherhood. Help me understand the good, bad, and ugly truth about motherhood? 

There are so many aspects to parenting. And just like any major life experience, there are good parts, bad parts, and simply unexplainable parts. 

Walk me through what surprised you the most about motherhood?

I think what surprised me the most about motherhood is how hard it is to make important decisions. It’s one thing to make decisions for yourself, but it’s a whole other thing to be completely responsible for another life. It’s a lot of pressure. And sadly, no matter what decisions you make, you get a lot of mom-shaming from other moms. Us moms are very opinionated. But one thing for sure is we’re all trying to do our best at making the right decisions for our kids. 

Talk to me about having unrealistic expectations in a relationship? I am a believer in being practical and having realistic expectations.

It is so important to realize when you’re having unrealistic expectations. If you spend your marriage having unrealistic expectations, you will constantly be holding resentment towards your partner, which will push you further and further away from one another. It’s better to focus on the good things about your partner instead of the bad. There was a time a couple of years ago that my marriage was falling apart, but we decided we weren’t going to throw in the towel without fighting for it. 

The 5 love languages are words of affirmation, acts of service, gifts, quality time, and physical touch. How can we inculcate these in our daily lives? 

The most important thing to realize about the love languages is that you want to understand your partner’s love language and use that to show them you love and appreciate them. If your love language is gifts, and your spouse’s love language is quality time, you don’t want to give them gifts because that is YOUR love language, not theirs. It is so easy to forget that you want to express their love language, and they need to express yours. You can take tests online to determine your love language, or you can read the book, The 5 Love Languages.

One of the things I had to learn in a relationship is that rather than looking for the right person, you yourself need to become the right person. I like your article on becoming a better wife. That article fascinates me and I want to know more?

One thing I learned during the time period that I was working hard to improve my marriage, is that you cannot change the other person, BUT… change inspires change. If you are actively trying to be the best version of yourself, your partner will notice. They will also start to work on themself, whether they realize it or not. One thing that can really put a strain on your marriage is constantly making your spouse feel like they’re wrong, or not good enough.

Let’s talk about marriage on a diet. You talk about service, intimacy, respect, trust, and dedication. Are these realistic? 

While it is not realistic to be perfect at all of these things all of the time, it is realistic to be mindful of them, and practice focusing on them in our day-to-day life. The more you prioritize these important relationship features, the more your spouse will appreciate you and see you as an ally. 

As a blogger on women’s empowerment, I am impressed with Jesus. He served women, elevated them to another level, he loved unconditionally, and hung out with the outcast and lonely. I want to know the practical aspects of your faith?

I believe the most practical aspects of my faith are the focus it has on service, community, and avoiding judgment of others. From someone who is not perfect and has made many mistakes, I appreciate all of these qualities so much. During the hardest times of my life, so many people from my church were right there to help me without judgment. I will never forget all that they have done for me and my family. It definitely encourages me to strive to be more Christ-like. 

Tell me a little about your city. The food scene, the restaurants and why we should visit it?

I live in American Fork, UT and I love it! It is the perfect size town with easy access to small towns to escape to, and large cities to find anything and everything you want. While it has all the popular restaurant chains, it also has some great diners and restaurants that are less common. A lot of the restaurants are also very accommodating for people with special dietary preferences and allergies, like me! 

The post Motherhood appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

Andrea Barendregt is stepping into a new chapter after leaving her previous job. Andrea is embracing entrepreneurship and creativity on her own terms. It’s a bold move, but if there’s one thing she has proven time and time again, it’s that living unapologetically is more than a brand. It’s a way of life.

Andrea, please tell me a little about yourself.

I was born and raised in small-town Ontario, but always pushed by my parents to get an education and make something of my life.  I went to Wilfrid Laurier University and completed a degree in Communications with the intent of working in marketing.

How did you get into financial services? 

I kind of fell into it completely unintentionally.  I started working for a Credit Union marketing agency, and my career progressed and evolved into what it is today.  I wouldn’t say I am very “financially minded,” but perhaps my ability to take complex concepts and break them down into more “everyday” terms is what has helped me to be successful in marketing various products and services to the average investor who does not have a finance degree.

Tell me a little bit about your family?

I am married to the love of my life Rick, we have been married for over 2 years now and have a 2-year-old son, Joseph.  Joseph was a big surprise as I was told I would never conceive.  We found out early in my pregnancy that Joseph has Down Syndrome and had congestive heart failure.  At 5 months of age, he had surgery to repair his heart.  We’ve never looked back.  Today, he is a happy, healthy, and very active little boy who keeps Rick and me on our toes.  We both are advocates within the Down Syndrome community.

As a working mother, how do you balance family, food, finance, and faith?

Balance is something that every working mom has struggled with at some point.  I’m blessed that I have a good career and can provide for my family and that my husband is such a great cook.  He’s also an amazing dad who is very active in our son’s life and we complement each other as best as we can where schedules and meals are concerned. Both Rick and I grew up in church-going families and we are doing our best to make sure our son will also have a church family that will embrace him and his unique needs. 

How has motherhood changed your life and you as a person?

Oh yeah!  I often wonder what I used to do with all the time I had on my hands!  Now, every moment at home is centered around my son and what we can be doing with him and for him to nurture his special needs.  It’s also made me much more patient than I used to be.  I no longer live for myself, I always have him and my husband in mind.

Give me some tips on how you keep fun in your marriage?

Remember why you married your spouse — for me, I had fun with Rick no matter what we did.  It’s important to keep that spark and even in the mundane tasks, I try to have fun and keep things light.  Life has a way of making things always seem so serious, keeping a light-hearted approach to everyday things makes it more fun.

Is eating healthy important to you as a working mother? 

Yes, especially now that I have a little boy that I want to be around, for a long time.  Of course, perfection is impossible but I try to keep my diet full of foods that fuel and provide nourishment.

You are a successful executive, give me some tips on how to manage a successful career in the 21st century?

I just saw a quote that Warren Buffet said – do things your way.  I’m so blessed to work for a company that gives me leeway to do things my way and make suggestions.  Success is defined differently by everyone but for me, it’s about being happy at the end of the day and feeling like I moved the puck up the ice.  If I can be myself and use my experience and expertise to make a difference, I feel that I’ve been successful.

Name me some of your favorite restaurants in Toronto?

I don’t go out in Toronto a lot, but I do enjoy the Cactus Club and a great little breakfast spot called Over Easy on Yonge.  

What is the favorite thing you do with the two men in your life?

One of our favorite things right now with our small son is to spend Sunday mornings in bed snuggling, playing, and reading.  That’s our time with Joseph where nothing else is distracting us.  When the weather is nice, we love to get out on the boat in the lake and catch some fish :).

The post A Working Mother appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

Casey Palmer is an amazing blogger, father to two, husband to one, second to none, and part of the Toronto Bloggers Collective.  I have had some interesting conversations with him over the last year and he has some amazing insights into being a Canadian Dad.

Casey my brother, welcome to my blog. I have been looking forward to discussing, faith, food, family, race, and mixed marriage. Let’s start by telling me something important about you?

Hey Jerry, thanks for having me! Something important. Hm.

The older I get and the more I write, the more I figure out what I’m really about as I carve out all the fluff.

Repping for interracial families when our individual cultures don’t always really get it. Or support it. Telling stories better than anyone expects, using all the resources I have to do it. I’m a perfectionist, I’m ambitious, I’m hustling… but this all looks more and more different the longer I keep doing all of this.

I love your blog. How did it start? What is it about? What is your message here?

Thank you very much!  I’ve tried writing different blogs over the years since I first started on LiveJournal in 2002. One about making extra money on the side. An art blog with a group of other friends. But nothing ever seemed to stick until I started getting into Toronto’s Twitter scene in 2010. Back then, I’d hit events five or six days a week, get around the city, and I wrote about them all so much that a blog just followed.

In fact, I almost stopped blogging when I was about to have a kid! As I’m sure most men feel the first time, they’re becoming a Dad, I thought it’d be their end of everything I knew. I was checking off lists, tying up loose ends, and getting ready to start a new phase in my life.

But when a friend pointed out that the number of Dad bloggers out there were few and far between, I stuck around and figured I’d tell my story since no one else was really doing it.

So long story short, what is my blog about? I like to say family, food, fashion, and faith. And travel. And tech. And all the other random things that make up my day-to-day life as a Dad trying to balance his family, his job, and a little something on the side. I’ve worked long and hard at it, and it’s still evolving, but I think there’ll still be plenty of stories to tell in the years ahead.

Casey, is race still an issue in the GTA in the 21st century? If so how?

kisses his teeth

You know, I really wish it wasn’t, but it most definitely is.

I mean, Toronto’s perhaps the most diverse city in the world, but we’re talking about a city that’s 50% people of colour in a country that’s closer to 20% overall. To put that in numbers, of the 7.5 million people of colour we have across the country, 1.5 million of them—a whopping 20%—live inside the 630.2 square kilometers that Torontonians call home. In a tiny space that’s almost a hundred-thousandth of the land, this country has to offer.

So as diverse as Toronto might be on the surface, there’s a whole lot of Canada that still influences it in a very different direction.

As a huge economic driver for our country, people come to Toronto to visit. They come here to work. Toronto isn’t a magical island where people of all colours and creeds can simply live in harmony, separated from the rest of the world. The complex fabric that makes our city what it is constantly shifts and reshapes itself, and we can never be so naive as to think that we live in a perfect post-racial utopia.

But, it’s home. It is a city where we have access to all sorts of races and people, and that’s what I want as part of what my children have around them as they grow up.

Race is an issue in the GTA just like it is anywhere else, but at least we’re slowly willing to have a conversation about it.

Talk to me about how marriage has changed you as a person?

I was a very different person when Sarah first met me in 2007, still deep into my art and unsure what exactly I wanted from my life. Before Sarah came along, I was just a shiftless youth whose only goal was to enjoy the here and now without even thinking about the future.

But more than eight years into our marriage, I’ve learned how to be responsible. I take care of my kids, keep our home somewhere we can be proud of, and do everything I can to measure up to the man Sarah expects me to be.

Marriage isn’t easy—you can go from being deeply in love to wanting to kill each other, but if anything, it gives you some solid insight into who you are and why you do what you do.

Fatherhood is an amazing experience. What surprised you about it? 

Hands down, the thing that’s surprised me most about fatherhood is how much more complete it’s made me in such a short time!

Life was good prior to having kids, but my priorities were all out of whack. Spending too much time at the office so I could meet intense deadlines. Spending more time out partying than at home with Sarah. Fatherhood’s been very grounding, and while I missed out on my pre-kid life at first, I eventually found that I got so much more from spending time with my kids, choosing the times I was away from home much more carefully because so much of it just wasn’t worth it.

I don’t know who I would’ve become without the responsibility of parenthood on my shoulders, but I doubt I would’ve been a better me.

What do you like about Toronto? What can become better about this city?

I’ve always lived in the Toronto area, with me moving into the city proper from Mississauga next door when Sarah and I married in 2011.

And I love it! There’s never a shortage of things to do; you can find Japanese, Mexican and Ethiopian cuisine all on the same block; and it’s woven itself so deep into my being that I couldn’t imagine anywhere else as home. Anytime I’m away from this city for an extended period of time, I feel the itch to come back. The smells. The sounds. The tastes. All of its part of my city, and you can’t find a place quite like it anywhere else!

But it’s not perfect. There’s homelessness everywhere. We got into the real estate market at a good time, but the cost of living here is prohibitive for almost everyone who lives here. It’s not an easy place to be, but I wouldn’t trade it in for the world.

And yes—the offer has come up before!

I know your faith is important to you. Help me understand a little about it and how you use it in your daily life?

I didn’t start going to church until Sarah asked me to in our first year of dating. Funny enough, she worried that I might be resistant to it, but deciding to go’s proven one of the best decisions I’ve ever made!

So, we currently go to an Anglican church—The Church of the Resurrection—and our family are all grown in our faith in the few years we’ve been there.

I’ve served on leadership. Sarah’s started a Ladies’ Night to bond with the women around her. We teach the Preschool Sunday School together, have lunches with the other members of our small group… we get up to a lot. But all that time with our fellow church folk manifests itself in so many other ways in our everyday lives. Like in the Bible studies we do with our coworkers on our lunch breaks. Or in doing what we can for our friends not because we expect something in return, but because it’s just the right thing to do.

I didn’t think this would be the road I walked down all those years ago, but I’m happy I’m walking it!

Give yourself some advice at 15 and 25?

15-year-old Casey Palmer. It’s 1998, and I moved from my third to my fourth year of private high school. My girlfriend at the time had moved on to another school, and I split my time between track, work, school, and volunteering.

My advice? Slow down. You don’t know it yet, but you’re a year away from a massive nervous breakdown, something you’re going to need nearly a decade to work through. You don’t need to accomplish everything under the sun to get on some 20 Under 20 or 30 Under 30 list—everything happens in its time… so take it slow.

Like they say, it’s about the journey, not the destination!

25-year-old Casey Palmer. It’s 2008, and I’ve started a fairly new career as a bureaucrat after finishing school and my time as a banker. I’ve just started dating Sarah, and I’m about to end my year at twenty-five with a stint being unemployed due to making an unwise career choice more for the money than anything else.

My advice? Pick yourself up, bro—this is not the end of you. It’s the first time you’ve been unemployed after twelve straight years of working, but I want you to know two things:

You’re about to get hired in a couple of months by some of the greatest people you’ll ever get to know, and

You don’t know it yet, but you have the capacity to build some very marketable skills. You only started your Twitter this year, and Facebook’s only a few years deep, but trust me—all that time you spend on the computer is going to change your life.

Keep working at your interests—they’re all going to come in handy eventually.

Mix marriages is a recent phenomenon? Tell me something funny that has happened in your marriage?

A story that I think best captures the difference in the Dutch and Jamaican cultures that Sarah and I put into our relationship is our first Christmas with her family, and a tradition the Dutch call “Sinterklaas”.

So just like we have Santa Claus and his elves over here in Canada, the Netherlands has Sinterklaas and Zwarte Piet—a helper who helps him deliver the gifts in time for Dutch Christmas—or Sinterklaasavond—on December 5th.

Except… he’s a slave. At best. A white guy in blackface because he’s “dirty from all the chimney soot” at worst. And I knew none of this going in.

So, there we are on Christmas Eve with Sarah’s family, and her parents are doing another Sinterklaasavond tradition—handing out chocolate letters to the kids: the letters of our first names in solid milk chocolate. I remember it like it was yesterday:

Mother-in-law: “Here you go, Casey!”

Me: “Thanks so much, Mrs.—WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!”

You see, right on the front of the box was Sinterklaas… and Zwarte Piet.

365 days and one long conversation on blackface later, I found my future in-laws had changed brands—to one without the questionable potentially Moorish slave on the front.

Differences in culture. In experiences. In parenting styles. There’s so much we’ve had to navigate—and so much we’re still figuring out—but all that is an entirely different story.

How do you balance food, faith, family, and finance in the 21st century?

It’s said that we should approach illnesses through prevention rather than treatment, and I kind of feel the same way about money.

Many of us start thinking about budgeting and saving only after we’ve dug ourselves into a hole, desperately trying to see what we can do to get ourselves back out.

But I’ve never been the type to solve my problems through sacrifice—I’ve said that the solution to dealing with one’s financial constraints is to make more money, and that’s precisely what I’ve tried to do with the multilayered life I’ve built for myself.

It works like this—I treat my salary from my day job as family money, and anything I make on the side as my discretionary income so I can continue living my life the way I see fit. What this has meant is that I could still feed my family well while tithing to church and giving my kids every experience under the sun. It’s meant finding the capital to invest in my business without risking my kids’ savings accounts or our mortgage payments.

Does it involve more work? Yes. Am I learning to be smarter with money over time? Sure. But ultimately, I’m finding the path I walk lets me create my best work possible while also giving everyone I care about everything that they need.

And as a husband, father, brother, and son, isn’t that what I’m supposed to do?

The post Casey Palmer: Canadian Dad appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

Parenting is not easy.

Becoming a parent is one of the toughest things I have done in my life. It is also the most fulfilling thing I have done in my life. I am the father of a teenager. It does not come with a manual.  I have made many mistakes. I have also learned a lot of lessons.

Leanne Cabral, author of A Parent’s Best Gift, talks about parenting, parenting skills, parenting styles, and gives us unique parenting tips.

Leanne, please tell my audience a little about you?

I am a mother, author, speaker, and coach who loves to inspire and equip others to build a living legacy of faith by chasing after the things that matter most. I have a passion for equipping parents as they navigate the awesome task of passing faith on to their children. I encourage parents to make their invisible faith tangible so they can intentionally point their kids to Jesus and build a living legacy of enduring faith. I am married to James and a mom to four teens/emerging adults. I recently released my first book, A Parent’s Best Gift, which is available on Amazon.

Tell us about your book A Parent’s Best Gift?

The best gift we can give our kids is to live our lives in such a way that they know who Jesus is and understand His incredible love for them. While many understand this task, in theory, most of us struggle to practice applying this in everyday life. A Parent’s Best Gift reveals this process, equipping parents with tools and strategies that are simple, applicable, and absolutely doable. Discover freedom, direction, and intentionality as you begin to see this magnificent task broken down into manageable bitesize pieces. I truly believe we all want to be the parents God has called us to be and cultivate faith in our kids that takes root and grows.

Why did you write this book and tell me about your journey as a parent?

This book emerged out of my own quest to figure out a few things as a Mom. I knew that I would be held accountable for how I lived out my faith and pointed my kids to Jesus. I was desperate to find out how to do this in the chaos of everyday life. Questions like how do you make an invisible faith visible and tangible, or How do I teach my kids to pray and to hear God’s voice… drove me. This sent me on quite a journey out of which a 10-talk series emerged as well as a book. What I learned on the journey was that as parents, we are all hungry for the same information… whether you come from a legacy of faith or you are a first-generation believer, we desperately want to be the parents God has called us to be, we just don’t always know-how. This book is about the obstacles that entangled me as the Lord began to deal with my own warped views of Him and myself and then moves into how to get started to create the legacy of faith that you want to build. The last part of the book which is the largest is a practical guide on how to cultivate specific areas of spiritual development within your family, like prayer or hear God, in the chaos of everyday life. I wrote the book I desperately wanted but couldn’t find it.

You call parenting the toughest assignment why?

I call it a sacred assignment, our main thing. With all the good things calling our name we often get distracted and clouded by lesser things and we respond to the tyranny of the urgent instead of intentionally doing the things we actually value most.

Define intentional parenting?

Most of us in parenting are reactive. We respond to the things that come our way … the things that appear urgent but may not actually be. An intentional parent is proactive, knowing what they value and what they want to focus on and cultivate within their family. They have created a family mission statement so that they are very clear on what they stand for as a family and what they want to be known for. They weigh every opportunity against their mission statement so that they can weed out all the good things calling their name and focus on the great things for their family. They create a plan and carve out time to implement what they value.

Give me four practical tips to be a great parent?

Pray

Create a Family Mission Statement. Figure out what you really value as a family – what you want to be known for so you can make your best decisions

Be present … put the distractions down (phone, computer, TV)

Start date nights with your kids where you spend at least one hour of uninterrupted time alone with one child.

I have a 16-year-old. Should I be a father to her or a friend? What are the difference and the result?

Your primary role is to model Jesus to her in your own life and point her to Him. Love and prayer are our most valuable tools.

How is food, faith, finance, and family connected?

They are all ingredients needed for a healthy family and healthy relationships – they need to be stewarded well.

Food – What you put in your body matters, the healthier the food, the healthier the body.

Faith – It is the main thing… none of the others matter if this one isn’t a priority. All the rest will flow out of this.

Finances – We must start from the place of knowing that all we have comes from God, we are simply given the task of stewarding it well.

Family – This is where all the magic happens. It is where faith is lived out in the majesty and in the messiness of life. This is what matters most… how we steward the kids entrusted to us and how we point them to Jesus. It’s in the seemingly mundane and ordinary where faith and faithfulness are cultivated. It’s our primary mission field.

How do you find a balance with the above in this busy world?

We have chosen to intentionally live life at a slower pace for that exact reason… So, we have enough time and margin to focus on what really matters to us and our family. In a world that moves so quickly, we live a slowed-down life where there is room for our soul to breathe and respond to the stirrings of the Holy Spirit.

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Single parenting, co-parenting, helicopter parenting, authoritative parenting, controlling parenting, and permissive parenting are the different styles of parenting.

If you think you have arrived in life, try getting married. A spouse is like a mirror, a lot of your faults get exposed. If after marriage you still think you have arrived in life, try having a kid, and become a parent.

Parenting is one of the most challenging things I have done in my life, and also the most rewarding. It requires unconditional love, being unselfish, investing emotions, energy, time, feelings, and lots of forgiveness.

Betsy Kerekes is the author of Be a Happier Parent or Laugh Trying and coauthor of 101 Tips for a Happier Marriage and 101 Tips for Marrying the Right Person. Her professional experience includes public relations for Franciscan University of Steubenville, proofreading for Patrick Madrid’s Envoy magazine, and contributing to Aleteia, MercatorNet, Catholic Lane, Catholic Exchange, CatholicMom.com, The Southern Cross, and Creative Minority Report. Kerekes serves as editor and director of online publications at the Ruth Institute, where she writes weekly newsletters and manages the blog. She telecommutes from her home near San Diego, where she homeschools her four children and blogs about her parenting adventures.

Betsy offers her Top Ten Parenting Tips from her book Be a Happier Parent or Laugh Trying

One

There are as many different ways to parent as there are parents. You do what works for you, and don’t worry about what everyone else thinks. And by all means, don’t compare your child to others. A mom who had a baby around the same time as I had my first made a comment about teething. I mentioned that my daughter had four teeth coming in at once, only because I thought it unusual. The other mom seemed upset by this news and got defensive — over teeth, as though the rate at which children sprout teeth somehow determines who will go to a community college and who will go to Harvard. Don’t stress over supposed milestones or how your kid measures up. Do your best, and don’t worry about the rest.

Two

Because parenting is hard, cruddy stuff is going to happen. It just comes with the territory. Taking a deep breath and moving on after an unfortunate incident will help you maintain a happier demeanor, inside and out, especially when it comes to things you have no control over. Some days your children are just going to be fussy like they’re taking turns or have it scheduled on a secret calendar. Keeping a sense of humor helps. Once I asked a friend how her kids were. She responded: “For sale.”

Three

No sane person thinks parenting is easy, but focusing on the blessings in your life, even if your house is a mess or the laundry is piling up, is the antidote to the parenting pits. Clearly, your kids don’t mind those messes since they enjoy making them, and rolling around in a pile of unfolded laundry is the rainy-day equivalent of jumping in a pile of leaves. Why deprive your children of that joy? Instead, maintain an attitude of gratitude by focusing on the positive. Your children have enough clothes that they can get dirty. The dishes stacked in the sink prove that you have ample food for your family. Ice cream exists. And the list goes on and on.

Four

If you’re a perfectionist, having children may be particularly difficult, especially if you’re the type who tries to maintain a spotless home. You can be happier if you adopt this principle: Let it go. Embroider it on a pillow if necessary. Here’s a scenario: after breakfast, the floor under your table looks like the leftovers at the carnival in Charlotte’s Web. You want to sweep it immediately, but you’re unable because you’re wrangling tiny people all day. Lunch happens, and now the floor looks like the streets of New Orleans after Mardi Gras. You want to pull your hair out, but you still haven’t found time to clean. The solution? Make like Elsa and let it go. I don’t mean go a week without sweeping under the table. If mice move in to clean up the mess for you, well, that could be a win or a loss. The floor is getting clean, but if those mice start building temples to their gods complete with statues made from food scraps that impressively resemble your children, you may have a problem. Get out the broom and destroy a civilization. But for those everyday things that put the perfectionist in you on high alert, remember that the world won’t end and your house won’t fall down around you if you don’t get to it right away. Take a deep breath, do what you can, when you can, and don’t stress over it unnecessarily. I saw a meme that said: “Once you stop caring that the Play-Doh colors are mixed together, the second part of your life begins.” I totally get that. It took four kids, but I’ve finally arrived.

Five

Keep your negative reactions in check. Imagine you’re potty training your child. (Did you just shudder? My apologies.) Now imagine you take your child to the potty, but she doesn’t want to go. You try again later and still nothing. You ask her if she needs to go. She insists she doesn’t. Next thing you know, her pants are wet. You, frustrated by the whole experience, kind of lose it. “Look what you did! You wet your pants! I tried to get you to go on the potty. I sat you down, you said you didn’t need to go. Then I asked again, and you still said no. One minute later you’ve wet yourself. Now I have to wash you up and find clean clothes and…” etc. Unbeknownst to you, this reaction is teaching your child to lie in order to avoid seeing you angry or be yelled at. You can express disappointment, sure, but remain calm and patient. You want your child to feel safe coming to you with the truth when she ran a purple marker across the back of the white couch or when he threw a ball indoors and knocked over a lamp. If such incidents happen and you fly off the handle, don’t be surprised when you’re met with tight lips after asking who swirled a magnet across the computer screen.

Six

Related: Model not making a mountain out of a molehill. When my kids hurt themselves, I’m kind of like, “meh.” Yes, I’ll tend to the wound, but I won’t make a bigger deal out of it than it warrants. When I was a school secretary, kids would sometimes come to me asking for a Band-aid for some microscopic cut. When I couldn’t see anything, they’d squeeze until the tiniest drop of blood was visible. My favorite kids were the ones who came to the office with blood I could see from several feet away. I’d say, “Whoa, let me get you a Band-aid,” but they’d be like, “Nah, I’m just going to slap a paper towel across it and head back out.” Those kids were all from the same hardy family of goat owners. I loved them. The kids, not the goats. Maybe both. Baby goats are kids, so I guess both. These children didn’t try to make a huge fuss in order to get attention. They dealt with the problem simply and moved on. They were tough, and that’s an attitude that will get them far in life. I recommend encouraging that in your kids, goat, or human. For the more sensitive children, you can always point out that each passing moment gets the owie closer to being healed. You can also remind them that tomorrow they’ll feel so much better (or by bedtime, or in like one minute, depending).

Seven

Younger kids might be bothered that they can’t do the same things as their older siblings, like check the bear traps or drive the Batmobile. At a playground, a little girl was crying because she couldn’t swing across the monkey bars like her big brother. The mom assured the girl that her brother was able because he’d done it more times. “Practice makes progress,” she said. I found that interesting. We can’t promise our kids they’ll become perfect at something, even with lots and lots of practice. No one is perfect at everything, despite what you see on Pinterest boards. By using the word “progress,” this mom helped her daughter realize that though she may not be great at something now, she can improve with repeated effort. The less obvious message is that the popular trope of “you can be anything you want if you just try hard enough” is false. Despite this “good parenting” mantra of our modern culture, not everyone who wants to can become a Nobel prize winner, or an astronaut, or Adele. If your kids discover their big fabulous dream isn’t coming true, it’s an opportunity to point out that God might not mean for them to cure a common cold, build a better mousetrap, invent a new ice cream flavor, save an endangered species, and all those things on the Game of Life “Life Tiles.” Of course, you should encourage your kids to reach reasonable goals, but remind them that if things don’t seem to be working out, it may be because God has another, a better plan that will take prayer and time to figure out.

Eight

Sharing is good, but don’t force it. Even though “don’t forget to share” is a common parental phrase, we shouldn’t make our kids give up a toy or the swing for someone else all the time. Sharing is no doubt important, but only when the child does so from his own initiative. We can model sharing by doing so ourselves and then encouraging our kids to follow suit by pointing out how sharing has made another person happy. For them, you could say, “How nice of you to let the other boy play with your ball. See how happy you made him? Thank you for sharing.” However, sharing isn’t always appropriate. What if your child wasn’t finished on the swing? Instead, offer him advanced notice that soon it will be someone else’s turn. “Five more minutes on the swing then let someone else have a go.” Another option is playing together. “How about you kick the ball back and forth to each other?” rather than making your child give up his toy entirely. Being nice is one thing, but we don’t want our children to feel like sharing is a punishment when they haven’t done anything wrong.

Nine

Strive to make family dinner the norm. Being together strengthens the familial bond, builds positive relationships among siblings, and generally keeps teenagers out of the usual teenagery troubles. Younger kids learn new vocabulary words (for good or bad) and proper table manners. Everyone is more apt to eat healthily and therefore be healthy, and you’ll have a better idea of what’s going on in your kids’ lives. To get the ball rolling, you can play the high/low game where each person names the best and worst part of their day: “We bought a new carton of ice cream! That carton is now empty.” It’s a great way to find out what drives and motivates your kids.

Ten

You might think you’ll be truly happy if you could just have a girl, a boy, your dream home, a new car, a better job, or an ice cream shop to open up within walking distance. Perhaps you feel you’ll be happier when the kids are older and easier, or when they’re no longer teenagers, or when you have an empty nest, or when you can finally retire. But if you continue thinking that way — waiting for that next thing that you’re sure will make you happy — you’ll never be happy. Instead, find the joy in your life as a parent today.

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The responsibilities of being a husband and a father are the two most challenging responsibilities I have faced in my life. It is the most difficult thing I have done. However, the most gratifying. No matter of money, goods, or achievement cannot replace my wife and daughter. As I enter my 20^th year of marriage and raise a 16-year-old, people ask me for formulas.

The truth is that there are no formulas. Just like instant noodles and fast food, there is no instant marriage or parenting. It is hard work, self-denial, and considering the other person better all the time, maintaining boundaries.

I am learning that I am not responsible for making sure that my daughter is happy all the time, getting the approval of others (Jean has always been her teacher’s favorite), controlling her, or doing things for her that she is responsible for. I tell her that I am messed up, broken and will make mistakes. I hold her accountable, allow her to function as an independent person, make tough decisions, but also empower and inspire her to achieve her best. There are many sacrifices along the way, but worth it.

Adriane Thompson runs a blog, Raising Kids With Purpose. I want to dig a little more into this purpose.

Adriane, what is raising kids with purpose all about?

My mission at Raising Kids With Purpose is to help parents find their purpose in parenting by learning how to take care of themselves and connect with their kids. It’s about building strong relationships in order to raise self-reliant, competent, and emotionally healthy individuals.

Why should we read it? 

You should read it because I heavily research topics in order to make parenting a whole lot easier. Often times, we, parents, unintentionally make our children’s behavior worse which can make life really hard. But by taking care of ourselves through mindfulness and self-awareness, in addition to understanding emotional and brain development, we can save ourselves a lot of headaches and conflicts.

Who is your audience?

My audience is parents (mostly moms) of children ages 3-12.

Adriane, what kind of purpose are we talking about? 

The purpose we are talking about is being intentional with the way parents communicate, treat, and connect with their children. 

Helicopter parenting. Do you believe it?

I do not. I believe that it exists but I know for a fact how detrimental it is to a child’s development.

Talk to me about raising kids with an attitude of gratitude? 

Gratitude is such a powerful practice. Helping kids reach connective gratitude has so many benefits. Connective gratitude is far more than saying, “thank you.” It’s a deep appreciation for things, people, acts of kindness, etc. The appreciation is then reciprocated out of intrinsic motivation.  Having this attitude of gratitude increases happy hormones, redirects kids’ attention from toxic emotions and feelings, decreases feelings of envy and depression, it often leads to generosity, and it can foster healthy strong relationships for a lifetime.

What impact does social media have on kids and what can parents do?

I think it has a detrimental effect on kids. There is no need for kids to be on social media. I think parents should delay allowing their kids to have social media accounts for as long as possible. Also, having open communication as to why is also key.

Peace, patience, kindness, gentleness are universal qualities that need to be taught to our children to make them better citizens. Any tips?

The best thing a parent can do to teach all of these attributes is to model. Kids learn more from what they see, not what they hear.

We can talk a lot about kids, but it starts with the parents. The fruit does not fall far from the tree. So, what advice can you give parents in terms of behavior?

Again, start with connecting first. Parents have a lot of self-work to do as far as how they were parented. Many have to gain self-awareness as to what their triggers are or why they react the way they do. Then, by becoming a rockstar at self-regulation, they can remain calm and connect first before correcting or teaching. Once the child is in a regulated state, then the parent can discipline (NOT PUNISH), and give options and use those moments to teach very important life lessons. Our children’s brains are so underdeveloped that it’s almost impossible for them to stay regulated if we are not. It starts with us. I also strongly suggest staying away from extrinsic motivators or empty praise. Instead, focus on your child’s strengths instead of weaknesses, and typically the behaviors then dissipate. Teaching a growth mindset and allowing your child to experience emotions and failure also helps the brain grow and learn.

I am a big believer in creating memories and spending time with our kids. Kids want our time and attention do you agree?

Absolutely. Spending even five minutes of uninterrupted individual time with your kids will go a long way. Children are born to want to feel connected, love, seen, safe and hear from their primary caretaker.

Give my audience some advice on marriage, motherhood, balancing faith, family, food and finance in the 21st century?

That’s a lot! I have found that true balance does not exist. Instead of focusing on perfection, strive for progress and connection. Talk about your values and live them out. Strive to have the marriage you want your kids to have. Make family dinner a priority. And don’t worry about what others are doing. Focus on you and your unique children God blessed you with.

Talk to me about something challenging you have been through and how did you deal with it and come out on the other side?

A challenge I walk through every day is parenting a Twice Exceptional child with self-regulation and sensory processing integration challenges causing him to be explosive whenever his stress response is triggered. Thankfully, I am able to keep my brain from being hijacked by his but we have had some very hard days. Gaining as much knowledge as I can about what is going on in his brain and body has really helped become a much better parent. I have no other option but to connect and stay gentle and calm.

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Some people tiptoe through life. Marna dances—bright hair, bold tattoos, and all. At 37, this Portland-based mother of two has weathered divorce, rediscovered love with her partner Chris, and embraced a fearless commitment to being unapologetically herself. Her blog, The Suburban Goddess Mom, is only five months old, but it already feels like a seasoned voice: funny, raw, and brimming with honesty about motherhood, reinvention, and the messy beauty of starting over.

In our conversation, Marna opens up about what drives her writing, the joys and challenges of blogging, the strength she found after an abusive marriage, and the small, sparkling moments—like a perfectly ordinary morning that inspired her blog’s name—that keep her grounded. Pull up a chair, grab a cup of coffee, and get to know the suburban goddess who proves that authenticity is its own kind of magic.

Marna a pleasure connecting with you on social media. Tell me a little about you and Suburban Goddess Mom?

Let’s see… I am 37 years old, divorced for two years, mother of two (6-year-old boy, Brayden, and 8-year-old girl, JoJo).  I have a serious life partner named Chris, who has given me a second chance at true love.  In addition, I am a bit of a wild, untamed energy/free spirit. As a result, tattoos, piercings, crazy colored hair are part of my repertoire.  Similarly, I am a self-described mess and a constant work in progress.  I am unabashedly me.  I have been blogging as The Suburban Goddess Mom for 5 months. The blog is a brutally honest account of my journey, transformation, and struggles. In conclusion, those who know me personally say it sounds just like me talking. 

What motivated you to start Suburban Goddess Mom?

I started my blog after posting on Facebook about a kick-ass day I was having.  It was one of those days where I felt like the best mother on earth.  The post read, “Today I feel like a suburban goddess mom and it’s only 9:30. Woke up at 6, made Chris his breakfast and lunch, cuddled with Brayden who woke up early, showered and washed my hair, I am dressed in non-workout clothes, woke JoJo, got both kids dressed, fed them breakfast, did JoJo’s hair for a change, played two games with Brayden, getting kids to school on time, grocery shopped, went to Starbucks.  And I will spend the rest of the day at school talking about Hanukah.  Some days are like this and some days I wear PJs all day and get nothing done.  But today I am patting myself on the back!!!”  In conclusion, the feeling of writing this and the response to it compelled me to start the blog. 

Talk to me about some of the challenges of starting a blog?

The biggest challenge for me with starting the blog is doing all the things that don’t bring me joy and that are not fun about blogging.  Setting up websites, formatting, etc.  After struggling through it for maybe a month I began outsourcing those tasks to a Virtual Assistant.  Which allows me to write, work on social media engagement and interactions.  I love it!

Why do you like writing?

I have always loved writing.  I remember writing pages and pages of stories in elementary school.  Even in high school I always took creative writing very seriously. I spent I think three summers taking creative writing classes at Skidmore, Oxford, Sarah Lawrence, and Williams College.  I wish I had gone to college for writing but was influenced to do something practical, teaching. Which I did for 8 years and I am now back to writing.  

Help me understand what motherhood has taught you?

I am not naturally inclined to motherhood.  I am not the vision of perfection. However, I am strong and I can do anything. My mother was the most amazing woman on earth. 

Walk me through Portland, a reason to visit and some good restaurants? 

I moved to Portland, Maine two years ago after my divorce.  It is a beautiful city, affordable compared to other places I have lived and the majority of people here are strong, unique, kind, and accepting.  Maine is known for its natural beauty; waterfront and woods.  It is the place to come for seafood especially Lobster.  Although I do not get to eat out very often, my top three restaurant choices are The Great Lost Bear (pub with tons of beer choices), Tiqa (Mediterranean food downtown), and Becky’s Diner (its where the fisherman all go).

Life is tough and challenging. Tell me something challenging you have been through and how did you deal with it?

I was in an extremely abusive and controlling marriage for ten years.  And one day I had just had enough and filed for divorce.  I moved 4 and a half hours away and started a new life.  At first, I dealt with it by being strong for my kids, pulling up my big girl panties and doing what needed to be done, then I dealt with it with alcohol, pot, and sex, and then finally I dealt with it with intensive therapy and tons of work on myself and introspection.

Life is incredibly tough, challenging, and unfair.  My life certainly proves that. I deal with all of it by therapy, spiritual practices, writing about it, finding things to be grateful for, acknowledging things suck and it is not fair, and constant support from my friends and partner.

On the lighter side, I want a good joke.

I am not much of a joke person.  Mostly I say and do dumb stuff or participate in witty banter.  This one is from my daughter:

Did you hear the story about the piece of butter?

Never mind. I don’t want to spread it around.

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Being a single mom can be both rewarding and challenging, as it often involves balancing various responsibilities. Here are some aspects and tips that might help:

Challenges:

Financial Strain: Managing finances alone can be challenging. Creating a budget and seeking financial assistance or advice can be beneficial.

Time Management: Juggling work, parenting, and personal time can be overwhelming. Prioritizing tasks and organizing a schedule may help.

Emotional Stress: Single parenting may lead to emotional stress. Building a support system, seeking therapy, or joining parenting groups can provide emotional support.

Limited Personal Time: Finding time for self-care can be difficult. It’s crucial to carve out moments for yourself to recharge.

Decision-Making: As the sole decision-maker, the weight of responsibility can be heavy. Seeking advice when needed and making informed choices can help.

Rewards:

Strong Bond with Children: Being a single mom allows for a strong bond with your children. Quality time together can foster a close relationship.

Independence: Single moms often develop a sense of independence and resilience. Overcoming challenges can build strength and confidence.

Personal Growth: Managing various responsibilities can lead to personal growth. Learning new skills and adapting to change are common experiences.

Pride in Achievements: Accomplishing tasks and milestones independently can lead to a sense of pride and accomplishment.

Role Model: Serving as a positive role model for your children can be a rewarding aspect. Demonstrating resilience and determination sets an example.

Tips for Single Moms:

Build a Support System: Surround yourself with friends, family, and support groups. Share responsibilities when possible.

Prioritize Self-Care: Make time for self-care, even if it’s just a few minutes each day. Taking care of yourself enables you to better care for your children.

Set Realistic Goals: Break down tasks into manageable goals. This can make overwhelming responsibilities seem more achievable.

Communicate with Your Children: Open communication with your children helps them understand the situation and fosters a supportive environment.

Seek Assistance: Don’t hesitate to seek assistance, whether it’s financial support, childcare help, or emotional support. Many communities offer resources for single parents.

I talk to Davianna who is a single mom.

Davianna tell me something important about yourself and the mom pursuit.

I am a mother of 4 under 9 years old. I’m currently in school pursuing my bachelor’s in communication media and a minor in graphic design. I’ve been a stay-at-home mother for about 8 years.

What motivated you to start mom pursuit?

Mompursuit was created as an outlet and a place where other mothers could relate on different levels. I wanted to speak about tough topics that people were scared to talk about.

Please tell me the challenges of starting a blog.

The most difficult times were just setting everything up to get started. Learning WordPress. Stepping out of my comfort zone to be able to share my most vulnerable moments.

Why do you like writing?

Writing helps me express myself in so many ways. Writing has been my life coach and creative expression.

Help me understand what motherhood has taught you.

Motherhood taught me so many tough lessons. I’ve learned to master patience. Learning how to multitask while taking care of four children.

Talk to me about your city. Why should we visit it? Name three good restaurants.

I reside in Atlanta right now. You should visit Atlanta to enjoy southern hospitality. Some great restaurants would be, Applebee’s, Chili’s, and cheesecake factory.

Let us go for a walk and tell me something challenging you have been through. How did you deal with it?

The most challenging part of my life as a mother was losing myself. Giving my all to someone who wasn’t equally invested in my family’s vision. Having four children and realizing, I might be doing this by myself. The heartbreak of picking up the pieces, after infidelities. Everyone has been through this in one part of their lives. This is a part of my story, and why I’m as strong, today.

Life is tough, challenging, and unfair. Do you agree? Give my audience some advice on how to deal with adversity.

Always take time to cater to yourself. Even if it’s 5 minutes throughout the day. Make sure you remember who you were before the husband and kids.

Wow!!! Four children under 8  how do you balance food, faith, finance, and family?

A lot of coffee and notes. I write everything down or mentally remember what I have to do. I couldn’t function without some sort of organization in my life.

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