It is 2022. International Women’s Day 2022 theme is to ‘Imagine a gender-equal world. A world free of bias, stereotypes, and discrimination. A world that’s diverse, equitable, and inclusive. A world where difference is valued and celebrated. Together we can forge women’s equality. Collectively we can all #BreakTheBias.’

I strongly encourage you to celebrate women’s achievements, raise awareness against bias and take action for equality.

Some children and youth may need extra support because they have challenges or delays in their physical, intellectual, emotional, social, language or behavioral development. Arun Sawhney shares his journey of raising a special needs daughter.

Arun please tell my global audience a little about you?

I will be completing 25 years of marriage this year to my beautiful wife, Simi. I have three wonderful children, Nonie, Rijuta, and Aditya. I have a passion for real estate and run the most modern gas station in Himachal Pradesh. 

Talk to me about the challenges you have faced in terms of care for Nonie?

Nonie was born in February 1996. She was suspected to be a Down’s Syndrome child which was confirmed later in tests.

Unfortunately, there were/are no special schools or staff to deal with Nonie’s condition at Kandaghat.  Chandigarh’s Post-Graduate Institute of Medical Education & Research (PGI) provided support. There was a dedicated group of doctors with their team of postgraduate medical students conducting a genetic clinic every Monday at the Advanced Pediatrics Centre (APC). We had been referred to have the karyotyping test for which they alone had the facility in the region. Down’s is named after the doctor Dr. John Langdon Down who discovered this condition. In medical terms, it’s called Trisomy 21, an extra gene resulting in the condition.  A lot of measurements were taken every time, we visited the clinic. The senior doctors would guide us on her upbringing. Speech therapy was conducted. I remember Prof. Bhalla, a very soft-spoken person who would ask us to teach her initially 3 words that Nonie had to say when we visited after 3 months. Nonie can read, write and speak pretty well. Her speech is slurry at times. Nonie completed her grade 8 from a normal school with the methodology provided by PGI. Nonie intends on completing her grade 10 from the National Open School. She will be 23 in February. 

How has the culture changed around having a kid with special needs?

Having worked with various organizations on a national level, I can say authoritatively that attitude towards special kids is undergoing a major change.  Government attitude and policy have been highly supportive, especially in the past few years.

I am a big fan of providing pensions to special needs children, with no conditions attached. Special needs children are divided on the basis of physical and mental disabilities. It’s easy to assess and determine the level of disability for physically challenged people who may perform say to 75% or 50% of their capacity but an intellectually challenged person cannot perform any work even if his disability is gauged at 25%. Government policy mandates a 75% disability to be eligible for a pension. This excludes the entire intellectually challenged (ID) population from this crucial benefit. Nonie’s problem is genetic but I’ve observed most ID people come from poor backgrounds and their causative condition is due to malnutrition and improper care during pregnancy. 

What have you learned from your daughter and how has she changed you?

Nonie is the sunshine in our lives, with an extra chromosome, that I call God’s chromosome. You and I don’t have it. The chromosome makes her closer to God. She is the most positive person in the family and a great PR person. She has achieved glory at the Special Olympics She works as the Manager at the convenience store at our Gas Station. She manages the staff. She is very particular about expiry dates and is methodical. While we are traveling, she’s in touch with the staff, observing them on cams and checking on how the sales are progressing. She must have the day-end figures.

Nonie has taught us how to be sensitive to all human beings and how to remain happy despite so many limitations. She encourages, settles arguments, and has a great sense of humor. Nonie has changed us in many ways. We stand up for other special persons whenever we encounter an issue. She bonds the family together.

I am involved more in social work, because of her. We care, but we want society to care for the special persons around them. This is what we have taught to her siblings. They are sensitive to special people. We never hide Nonie. Nonie regularly visits Rijuta’s and Aditya’s schools.  Aditya was initially reluctant when we wanted Nonie to visit his school. But to his surprise, our superstar’s charm raised his esteem. To sum it up she has taught us the value of unconditional love. 

What advice do you have for parents around the world who have kids with special needs?

My advice is never ashamed of having that child. Bring the kid out to social and family gatherings. Shower them with genuine love. When you unconditionally love your child, so will the extended family and then society. If you shun your child then it will have a cascading effect. Be fiercely protective of your child and face off with anyone who makes fun or is abusive. Being in a small town in a bigger family helped us, but never leave your child alone. They could be vulnerable to predators. This feedback I have got from parents living in bigger cities.

Remember you may not always be around. Ensure your child gets some skills to be employed gainfully. Make sure the siblings are sensitive to these issues, so they can take care. The first support system is the family. Parents should never feel burdened by a special child. Make their well-being one of your primary goals. Try to stay cohesive as a family. Broken families are not good for a special kid.

Talk to me about your social cause?

I’ve always involved myself in social work. Now I’m focused on our own venture, The Nonie Sawhney Foundation wherein we plan to fill in the gaps for children in schools in Himachal in terms of educating them on hygiene and providing clean drinking water. The big thing will be a counseling center for special children and their parents.

The post A Special Gift With Special Needs appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

In a world that often measures success by speed, perfection, and competition, raising a child with special needs offers a completely different lens—one rooted in grace, patience, and unfiltered joy. In this deeply moving interview, Madeline, a devoted wife, mother of four, and grandmother of five, shares her powerful story of raising her youngest son, Daniel, who was diagnosed with Down syndrome at just 4.5 months old.

Madeline is refreshingly honest, deeply grounded in faith, and remarkably resilient. She opens up about the shock of the diagnosis, the relentless schedule of medical visits and therapies, the fight for inclusion in education, and the quiet discrimination that lingers in everyday life. But above all, she speaks of the extraordinary love and purpose Daniel has brought into their lives—and how he’s taught her to slow down and savor every single moment.

This is not just a story about parenting a child with special needs—it’s a story about hope, transformation, and the beauty of unconditional love. Madeline’s words challenge us to rethink how society treats individuals with disabilities and remind us that true joy often comes in the most unexpected packages.

Madeline, thanks for being on my series on special needs children. Please tell my global audience a little about you. 

My name is Madeline. I am married to my wonderful husband Gabriel for 28 years.  We have 4 children and 5 grandchildren.  Our youngest son Daniel has Down Syndrome and is the happiest person I know who loves music, dancing, and the drums.

As a mom, what did it feel like to find out your son has Down syndrome? 

To start with, we did not find out our son had Down syndrome until he was 4.5 months old.  There were some concerns during my pregnancy about the health of our baby, but either way, it didn’t matter to us as abortion was out of the question.  So, when Daniel was born, he was thoroughly examined by doctors and we were sent home from the hospital with a “healthy” baby.

Since this was not my first child, I had some concerns about Daniel’s behavior as a baby and after several visits with our family physician, we were referred to see a pediatrician.  On our initial visit, we talked about the concerns we had and he recommended we do a chromosome test to determine if Daniel has Down syndrome.  On our follow-up visit, it was confirmed.  Needless to say, we were very surprised, shocked and heartbroken.  And so, all the appointments with doctors, specialists, and therapists began.

The first thing we needed to do was see a pediatric cardiologist as some babies born with Down syndrome have heart issues.  We were very grateful to find out that Daniel has a perfectly good heart.  However, visits continued from there.  Daniel has seen Ophthalmologists, Audiologists, ENTs, Occupational and Physiotherapists, Behavior Therapists, Speech and Language Pathologists, Infant Development Specialists, and Psychologists.  When Daniel was younger, the appointments were more frequent, but as he grew older, they lessened.

Sometimes in life, there are things that we cannot change, it ends up changing us, how has your life changed? 

Well, Daniel became my full-time work.  While dad worked to support the family, I became “Director of Domestic Operations.”  Not only was I a mom, but I was also Daniel’s mom; I was his teacher and therapist.  However, while I was teaching him, he also became my teacher, and still continues to be.  The biggest lesson that Daniel has taught me is frankly to enjoy life, every minute of it.  Daniel is naturally happy, and content, and is perfect in every way.

Help me understand the discrimination in our society towards special needs children, education, care, and how can we make it an inclusive society.

Everyone fights for inclusion, and so did we, especially when it comes to Daniel’s education.  For the most part, primary school was just OK but High School was another story.  However, in saying that, it really does depend on the teacher (the individual, the human put in your child’s life).  And this doesn’t just apply to teachers but to any profession.  I don’t want to get too political but being involved with a special needs child brings value to everyone.  It teaches you compassion, kindness, patience acceptance, and forgiveness among other things.  It truly gives you a perspective of the bigger picture of life.  You see, true happiness doesn’t come from wealth, fame, or status.  It comes from the simple things in life, enjoying each moment without worry.  It’s saying please and thank you and I’m sorry.  It’s like the old saying goes “do to others as you would have others done to you.”

How can we be more sensitive to parents with special needs children? 

Treat them and their children like average human beings.  One of my biggest pet peeves is when people ask me a question that Daniel himself can answer “he talks, and he can tell you” I often tell people.  For example, when we order at a restaurant, ask him, he can tell you what he wants.  If he needs help, he’ll let us know.  Sometimes people don’t understand what he says as his words may not be audible, but give him a chance and don’t ask me, ask him.  He’s an adult and before you assume, he doesn’t understand, give him the benefit of the doubt.

What advice would you give to parents with special needs children? 

Honestly, just treat them like you would treat any of your other children.  Personally, we decided on no excuses from the very beginning.   He’ll learn just like our other children did.  We used different teaching methods but taught the same values.  We believe all children should learn how to behave and get along in society, as they’re part of it, such as what is acceptable and unacceptable.  To us, it was more important for him than academic skills, like reading and writing.  Don’t get me wrong, education is definitely important but, in our opinion, behavior and conduct are more important.

Oscar Wilde said ‘What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise’. Do you relate to this or was it a figment of his imagination? 

Daniel is truly a blessing but not in disguise.  Simply a blessing!!  That’s all.  A good friend describes him as an Earth Angel, and that’s exactly what he is.

Talk to me about your faith, the journey, but also the practical aspects of your faith as a mother dealing with your special needs child. 

Our faith has always been and continues to be the foundation in our home.  It’s what has kept us together and allowed us to be better parents to Daniel, in being able to meet his needs.  It has made us stronger as a family.  Given the news that your child has special needs is difficult, and some parents just don’t know how to handle it.  They don’t know where to turn for help, so it’s easier to just walk away.  Sadly, I know all too well that there are many single moms and dads out there raising their special needs children alone.  Our faith has been the glue in our family and has kept us grounded.  And we truly believe that God doesn’t make mistakes.  Daniel is not a mistake.  He is meant to be here, this time, in this place, and with us.  He’s here to teach; he’s simple, happy, and content.  He really is. Our lives have been richly blessed, I would not change it or him for anything.  Again, our faith has been and continues to be our foundation.

I am sure there are a few things you want to change in terms of laws, access to health care, food, accommodation, and other things. If you were talking to your MP or the PM what would these be? 

Daniel has been out of school for almost 3 years and since then, it has been very difficult to find things for him to do.  The gap between the time when they leave school and when they get assistance of any kind is far too wide.  And I know I’m not alone.  I’d like to see that gap reduced significantly so that these young adults can have something to do and be productive individuals in society.  And when you do get the funding, far too many programs out there have a very long waiting list.  We need more and better day programs that are inclusive and not just a babysitting type of program.

Also, there are so many forms we had to fill out and still do, form after form after form.  Perhaps there should be an online resource for individuals or agencies to have access to about your child because, for the most part, the information is very repetitive.

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