How women and the LGBTQ community are represented in media

It is time to talk about how women and women from the LGBTQ community are represented.

It was a text from someone who was my mentor more than two decades ago. He was divorcing his wife. He wanted to inform me that he was gay. He was part of the LGBTQ community. I replied back saying I loved him unconditionally.

As time has passed friends from kindergarten to university have come out and joined the LGBTQ community. I accept people for where they are at. I believe in loving unconditionally, having compassion, be kind, listen to understand not speak, and to be empathetic towards people.

As I get older, I realize the more I wear the shoes of other people and walk a few miles in them, you start seeing things differently.

At Four Columns the goal has always been to empower and inspire women. However, I have realized in the last two years of its existence, I have not interviewed a single woman from the LGBTQ community. It is time to tell their stories. They exist among our midst as mothers, sisters, aunts, cousins, friends, neighbors, and are our colleagues. Members of the LGBTQ community are some of the nicest and most creative people I have met in my life.

I read Abigail’s Thoughts & Prayers in Ryerson Folio Magazine and wanted to interview her. Abigail is quiet and reserved. She loves to write and like any Canadian, she is super apologetic and belongs to Toronto’s thriving LGBTQ community. We talk about how heterosexual women and women from the LGBTQ community are represented in the media.

Talk to me about how women are being represented in media

Gladly! So, when women first began appearing in films, they were extravagantly, sickeningly beautiful – they had to be. The first films ever made were silent, so the way actors looked was one of the most important aspects. In silent films, though, you’ll notice that women really only existed as assets to men, meaning that a woman was usually only ever someone’s daughter, someone’s wife, or the object of the leading man’s affection. And although these films were made in the early 20th century, it’s actually kind of crazy how women are still being portrayed like this in modern media: as only a plot device to move a man’s story forward. There’s this incredible concept called the Bechdel test, which was named after lesbian cartoonist Alison Bechdel. Basically, it’s this test you can apply to any piece of media (film, books, television) in order to see if it fits a certain feminist standard. In order to pass, the media has to both a) have two female characters who talk to each other and b) when they do talk, it can’t be about men. You would be astonished by how many modern films completely and utterly flunk this test. Really. Literally, just think of your favorite movie right now and ask yourself if it passes the test. It’s ridiculous.

Another thing that bugs me about the way women are represented, especially in film and television, is just how beautiful they have to be all of the time. For the longest time, there were two types of women in film: beautiful and ugly. The beautiful women played the princesses, the heroines, the wives. The ugly women played the witches, the villains, the ex-wives. The film industry is painfully unjust in its beauty expectations. For actresses, it’s like once you hit a certain weight or age, it becomes nearly impossible for you to find a job. I don’t think these same standards exist for male actors, and that’s always bothered me. I think it’s really important that we start putting less emphasis on the way a female character looks, and more on the way that she behaves and thinks.

Today, we still have so many female characters who only exist to help the male characters. They’re not even really characters – they’re just tools for men to use. The way to correct this, in my opinion, is to have media that is created by women, for women. Way too many films and books in the past have been written by men who simply do not understand the female experience. That’s why I think that films like Ladybird and Booksmart are just really important. They’re about the female coming-of-age experience and they’re written by women who actually know what they’re talking about. There are so many pieces of media now where women are represented fully and accurately, and I know myself and so many others are really grateful for that.

I want to know about how queer women are shown in films and TV?

Well, it’s certainly getting better! In the past, queer women weren’t really shown at all in mainstream media simply because it wasn’t allowed. In the film, especially, there were codes that specifically banned the portrayal of homosexual relationships. And even after these codes were eradicated, it was way more common back then (and still is today) to see queer men portrayed in tv and film than to see queer women. Queer women did of course exist in the early films (such as in Sagan’s 1931 film Women in Uniform) but these films were usually quite underground and seen as very scandalous. In modern times, we are progressing in terms of better representation for queer women. For the longest time, there was like this caricature of what a lesbian was supposed to be – this man-hating, bald-headed, hard-as-nails kind of persona – and this was really the only lesbian character we got. Usually, she was played as a joke, and, although there are obviously some queer women who fit into these categories, more often than not it was just a lazy stereotype. So, I’m hopeful because we’ve gotten so much better in terms of portraying queer women of all different looks and shapes, and colors. I think it’s really important that we show all sorts of queer women in film and tv – queer women of color, queer women with disabilities, and trans women, too. It’s vital that the world sees that we really come in all different forms. In recent times, we’ve certainly gotten better at that. But in terms of representation and diversity, I know that we still have a long way to go in how women from the LGBTQ community are represented.

It is 2021. Why is it important that queer women be shown in film, TV, and writing?

Because we exist! And if we don’t have queer women represented – accurately – in film, tv, and writing, then there are going to be so many young queer girls who don’t even know that there are people like them in the world. I hear so many queer people my age and older saying, “If I had seen a queer character like this in my youth, it would have been so much easier for me.” And that’s why I think it’s so important. Cartoons like Steven Universe and Adventure Time, for example, are so vital because they have queer women as main characters and their target demographic is younger children. We really need to normalize showing queer people and relationships with kids. It’s not inappropriate. It’s not obscene. We have no problem showing kids heterosexual relationships, but somehow when it comes to showing a gay couple, especially two queer women together, that’s somehow unsuitable? It doesn’t make sense to me. Basically, it’s just so important because the more we show queer women in media, the more it normalizes it. It shows us that yeah, people like this exist in the world, they exist everywhere, and it’s really not that big of a deal. And, as I talked about in the last question, it’s important for all queer women to see themselves represented and to have characters to relate to. We need more queer women of color and trans women, and we need them to have their stories told accurately and truthfully. Queer women have existed for as long as history itself, and we need films, tv, and writing that reflects that.

I find writing cathartic. What is it about writing that you like and talk to me about your process?

I find writing super cathartic too! That’s honestly one of the main reasons I do it. When I was younger, I found that I actually wrote not exactly because I wanted to but more like because I needed to, in a sense. The writing was a kind of therapy for me. Typically, my process was that I would just not write for months and months and let all these thoughts and feelings build-up, and then one day I would just pour them all out into my journal. After I did that I felt so much lighter. I found that it was always easier for me to express myself in writing rather than speech, so I always just preferred writing about my experiences than talking to people about them. Obviously, it’s super important to talk to people, and that’s something I’ve really worked on in myself and now I go to actual therapy instead of just writing everything down, but at the time it was a great coping mechanism. Now my writing process is a bit different. I find now I usually write more because I want to push myself to try new things. I generally prefer fiction, so my process now entails more of picking out details from my life and finding ways to weave them into fictional worlds. I keep tons of different journals; I have ones for random ideas, ones for details that I encounter in my life. The notes app on my phone is just total chaos.

I’ve also made a few writer friends who have really helped me realize that writing is such a communal thing, rather than something so personal and solitary. They’ve helped me be more experimental in my work and encouraged me to start sharing my writing with the world, which is a wonderful feeling. But for sure, the thing I like most about writing is how it makes me feel. It literally feels like a weight is taken off my chest when I write – I feel I’m finally allowed to say all the things I was terrified to say, and even better is that sometimes people will listen to me! Writing allows you to take some of the stickiest events that happen in your life and turn them into art. That’s what I like most about it.

How can we use empathy towards the LGBTQ community? 

Empathy is about being able to understand someone else’s experience. So, for people who identify as heterosexual, if you want to have empathy for the queer community, you need to actually know what a queer experience is like. You can do this in a number of ways. For one, watching TV and film and reading books that accurately recount queer stories is a great first step. It’s important to talk to the queer people you know in your real life, but also keep in mind that they don’t exist solely to educate you. It’s good to talk to them, yes, but they don’t owe you information about the queer community any more than one of your doctor friends needs to explain medical science to you. Some queer people are more than happy to talk about their experience, but they can’t be your only source of information. It’s super important for people to do their own outside research about queer communities and identities, such as reading books and articles (like this one!) written by queer writers. What’s also important to remember is that every queer person’s experience is different: just because you understand one doesn’t mean you understand them all. Overall, I would just say that being queer, especially for young people, is more often than not a very hard experience. It’s this feeling that you’re not at home in your body or in this world. For a long time, until you become comfortable, it can be a very hard experience. For people who want to have empathy for the queer community, I would say just try and think of a time when you yourself felt scared or like you didn’t belong and remember that in those times, you probably would have liked someone to be kind, gentle, and understanding to you. That’s how you can be empathic.

I am a big fan of the arts. I love watching ballet, in awe of renaissance paintings, admire the Baroque architecture, and love cathedrals. The LGBTQ community has played a major part in all of these. Why is the LGBTQ community attracted to the arts? Is it because they are more emotional, more introspective, and are therefore drawn to it? 

I really love this question. I think queer people are definitely more attracted to the arts; I know I certainly was. There’s this quote that says “Art should comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable” and, to me, I just feel like a lot of queer people maybe feel disturbed, especially in their youth. They’re growing up in this world that seems scary and not for them. And then art is just this new and exciting and above all weird thing, and for so many, it’s a way to express themselves in a way word cannot. Art is definitely introspective, yes, but it’s also about looking into yourself and then choosing which pieces to share with others. And I feel like many queer people have this desire to share themselves, in some way, with others. Art is an outlet for that.

How are you finding your experience at university? Is it different from high school?

It’s definitely different than high school ha-ha! I go to Ryerson, which is right downtown Toronto, so that was a bit of a culture shock for me, a kid coming from a super small, super rural town. I had a really amazing high school experience and was honestly a little scared to leave and go to a school and city where I knew practically no one. But as soon as I got there, I loved Ryerson so much. I was so fortunate to have one year on-campus, in residence before COVID hit and our campus was shut down, and I can honestly say that year was one of the best of my life. I was extraordinarily lonely at first, but I loved being downtown so much. I loved the fast-paced and freedom and excitement. Ryerson is a huge university, but my film program is actually quite small so I was able to find this sense of community with my peers and professors, which I loved because it reminded me so much of the community I had in high school. I have some really amazing people in my program.

This year I’m still living in Toronto, but I’ve been doing my program completely online because of the pandemic. Being online has been super tough for me – as it’s been for nearly every other student I’ve spoken to – but it’s especially hard for programs like mine that are typically so hands-on and collaborative. Most of our program centers around the fact that we get to physically touch the equipment we’re using; we get to actually be outside with our peers making movies. That’s been one of the hardest things to let go of. I really miss being out and about in the city with my friends. My school has done a pretty good job of transitioning to an online platform, but obviously, there’s going to be stuff that’s lost in translation. No matter what though, I’m just so glad that I did get to have my first year in-person at university. That year was so important to me and I’m forever grateful for the memories I got to make.

Talk to me about Toronto. I want to know the food scene, the art scene, and what are some of the places you hang out?

Ever since I was a kid I’ve adored Toronto. I grew up in the country so a lot of my friends weren’t really interested in the city but I always loved it. Admittedly, I’m a bit of an introvert so I probably don’t get out much as other people, but my first year I spent in Toronto I did discover so many amazing places in the city! For food, I and my friends usually went to The Warehouse (they’ve got multiple locations; we usually went to the one on Yonge) because they have really good food there and it is so cheap (most of their food is only $6 dollars) which is a broke university student’s dream. There was also this little pop-out across the street that had several Mexican food-trucks. I’m not sure if it’s there now, but that place was awesome. That was another thing that drew me to Toronto: I just love how much variety there is, especially in terms of cuisine. I’m a vegetarian, so I love all the options the city offers. I live near China Town now and I love that you can walk down a block and have your pick of Chinese, Japanese or Vietnamese food. I especially love the little Chinese bakeries, because you can buy like, four buns for a dollar.

The art scene is amazing. When I lived on-campus I was pretty close to the AGO, and I would have gone there every day if I could. It’s free for people under 25 (as I think all the big galleries and museums should be) and it’s so wonderful. Not only are their collections amazing, but I also loved going there and just sitting and people-watching. I would see artists sitting on little stools with their pads sketching the sculptures, and to me, that just always highlighted the importance of having shared artistic spaces. The AGO is one of the most inspiring places I’ve ever been to. Ryerson campus also has some awesome art spaces. My university program’s building is called the Image Arts Center, and we had our own little gallery that was free to students. I just thought that was so cool – that I got to go to a school that doubled as an art gallery. Honestly, I wish I was more involved in the art scene than I was before the pandemic. Toronto has so much to offer in terms of arts.

By far my favorite place to hang out was The Ram in the Rye, which is Ryerson’s own student pub. They had a weekly open mic night and I’m also a musician, so I was there basically every Wednesday. I met so many amazing people there. It was also where I had my first legal drink when I turned nineteen! It holds a really special place in my heart. I also love hanging out in parks. I and my partner adore Grange Park and Allen Gardens – Allen Gardens in particular because of the greenhouse. My partner introduced me to the Reference Library, which is one of my favorite places to go to study. Kensington Market is one of my main hangouts. I love the Glad Day Bookshop. And my favorite place in Toronto, if not in the whole world, is absolutely Centre Island. I love beaches, so to have a place like the Toronto Islands to go to every now and then is really a blessing.

For me, 2021 is all about providing hope to people. What is your message of hope?

2020 has literally been the worst. I feel like, unanimously, we can all just say it’s been the worst. But what it’s shown me is that humans are social creatures; we need human connection, and despite all obstacles, we will find some way to have that connection, whether it be online or in-person. It’s shown me that we need each other, which is very heartwarming, in a way. So, I guess my message of hope is that, even though this year has been the worst, it can only get better from here. That’s what you have to keep telling yourself: it can only get better from here. Even if you don’t believe it, just tell yourself it can only get better from here. Keep believing you’re right. Because, eventually, you will be.