Living a life beyond fears is a powerful and transformative journey that involves both self-reflection and intentional action.

It is critical to identify and acknowledge the specific fears that hold you back.  Explore the origins of your fears and understand how they may be rooted in past experiences or limiting beliefs. Embrace the reality of your fears without judgment. Acceptance doesn’t mean resignation; it means acknowledging your feelings without letting them control you. Challenge and reframe negative thoughts that contribute to your fears. Develop and repeat positive statements that counteract your fears.

Take small, incremental steps to confront your fears rather than trying to overcome them all at once.  Enlist the help of friends, family, or a therapist to provide encouragement and guidance as you face your fears. Instead of viewing failures as roadblocks, see them as opportunities for growth and learning.

Remember that overcoming fear is an ongoing process, and it’s okay to seek professional help if needed. A therapist or counselor can offer guidance and support as you work towards living a life beyond fear.

Cindy Moore is a unique blogger and has a unique take on life. She focuses on living life beyond fears, limitations, and her comfort zone and embraces a sense of wonderment and adventure. She recently started a healing journey. She changed her diet and has become healthy. Cindy shares some amazing experiences and her path to living a fulfilled life.

Cindy, help me understand what it means when you say you are a woman on a journey and living life beyond fears?

I spent most of my life living in fear, playing it safe, and staying well within my comfort zone. Two deaths, close together, helped me to realize that I no longer wanted to spend another moment of my life living in fear and playing it safe. My journey began as an inner one with facing my fears. My decision to move beyond my comfort zone launched a year of trying a new experience every day. My blogging journey began simultaneously as a way to chronicle those new experiences.

You talk a lot about enchantment, surrender, and inspiration. Break it down for me?

After moving beyond my comfort zone, by trying new experiences, my whole life opened up. I recognized that life is meant to be experienced as a magical or enchanted journey and that the Divine offers help and guidance for that journey. I see life differently than I used to and I see signs and wonders everywhere that delight me and encourage me to keep going. Every day I have ongoing conversations with the Divine that lead me to new people, opportunities, and yes, experiences. Surrender involves letting go of the familiar and allowing myself to be carried, in the “Flow of Life”, to those new people, opportunities, and experiences. It involves trust and builds a sense of adventure. I know I’ve moved out of the flow of life when I feel resistance to an opportunity or experience.

Please explain what it means to live beyond fears, limitations, and comfort zone?

Living Beyond, for me, means to move past those fears, limitations, and comfort zones by trusting that the journey meant for me is for my greatest and highest good and also for the good of others in my life. Fear shuts me down and stops me from moving forward. Living Beyond opens me up to possibilities and expands my thinking and perspective so that I can see life in a bigger way. As fresh opportunities arrive, I say “yes”, which moves me beyond my comfort zone as I try new things. Limitations are old ways of thinking and doing things. Going Beyond means I’m willing to open to new ways of thinking and doing things. Comfort zones keep us safe and also keep us from trying something that feels scary or uncomfortable. I believe in living beyond fears.

Give me some examples of embracing a sense of wonderment and adventure?

Embracing wonderment and adventure means living with a higher awareness of all that is going on in my life and seeing the connectedness of all things. Two years ago, I played a game that I created, in which I wrote 30 different activities on slips of paper and dropped them into a jar. Each day I drew out an activity and did it. What I quickly realized was that the activities, drawn at random, perfectly matched the amount of time I had each day or, amazingly, the weather. I only had two rainy day activities in the jar. I drew both of them on the only two rainy days I had during the month. What are the odds of that? That’s wonderment and that’s trust. It’s also the Divine at work in my life. When I asked the Divine, in amazement, “Do you want to play with me?”, the answer I received back was “Do you want to play with ME?” My answer was YES and my life hasn’t been the same since.

What is the main reason for your blog and what are you trying to achieve?

The purpose of Cindy Goes Beyond is to help readers realize that life can be lived at the edges…of comfort zones, limitations and fears. We can live BIG lives and experience joy, wonderment, and enchantment if we develop higher awareness. I share posts around nature, gardening, travel, and the inner journey…all with the intention of helping others to see what an enchanted life looks like.

Talk to me about some challenges you have been through and how you dealt with it and are thriving?

I grew up very fearful of many things. However, my primary fear was to live as the person I was created to be. I am an intuitive and yet I feared my abilities and tried to separate that “weird” part of me from my “normal” self. That didn’t work. It only shut down my creative side. Moving past my fears and accepting myself exactly as I am opened the door to my creative side again. And I moved beyond my fears by facing them and sitting with them and exploring my intuitive side. As I learned more about who I am and what I can do, the fears subsided.

Give yourself some advice when you were 16, 26, and 36?

Age 16: Don’t be in such a hurry to grow up. Spend your teen years getting to know yourself. And don’t be so concerned about what other people think. Be you, without hiding, without pretending to be someone else, just so people will feel comfortable around you. You are afraid because you don’t understand who you are.

Age 26: Enjoy these years with your young family. Encourage your son and daughters to be fully who they are, by showing them who you are. They will follow your example. Continue to invest in yourself by doing the things that bring you joy.

Age 36: This is your time to shine, as a woman. Banish any lingering fears and self-doubts and pursue the life you want. Know fully what your purpose in life is and don’t let anything get in your way as you live from that place of intentional being.

What does women’s empowerment mean to you?

Empowerment for women starts with complete acceptance of who we are. It’s an inner journey that manifests as an outer journey. We must learn to parent ourselves, if we had bad parents, and love ourselves deeply and fully if our spouses/lovers have not done that for us. We cannot look to others to do these things for us. We set ourselves free, and the people in our lives free, when we do not need acceptance and love to come from outside ourselves. Once we are free, we can help to free others to live extraordinary lives.

Give my female audience three pieces of advice?

Accept yourself completely. The journey to self-love begins with self-acceptance. Love yourself fully by embracing who you are and then really live from that space. Be you…and find the things that you enjoy doing. That is your passion.

Pursue your passion. Share your passion with others as you journey and you will make a difference in the lives of others.

How important are food, faith, finance, and family to you? How do you find a balance and prioritize among them?

They are all connected. The food we eat provides the building blocks for our bodies. The foods we choose can nourish and heal…or they can slowly poison us to death by fostering disease. I embraced a plant-based lifestyle three years ago, to heal my body of various ailments. There is no turning back for me. I am healthier than I have ever been and living life beyond fears has helped.

A second blog, Journey With Healthy Me was born from that decision to take charge of my health and help others do the same. I’ve discovered that as I healed, my desire increased to help others heal, and then even further out, I developed a deep desire to heal the planet as well. Faith is extremely important to me. I believe God, or the Divine, guides me daily. I listen through prayer and meditation but I also receive through songs, random conversations, signs, and intuition. Finances, or money, comes as we connect with who we are and do that which we are created to do. My family is my legacy. My children and grandchildren learn by my example and through our conversations. It is important for me to live a joy-filled, enchanted life so that they have “permission” to do the same.

The post Live a Life Beyond Fears appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

The pandemic leaves me with three choices. Grow from it, learn from it, or fear it.

How was your week?

This week, someone whom I have known since a teenager lost his wife to cancer in Toronto. What do you say? How do you say it? I called him, and we had a good 30-minute chat about how life has taken us from teenagers to now.

Another friend who was junior to me at university is now going through cancer. I had to make that call. Seeing my own wife battling cancer, I knew what he was going through.

A classmate from university, we were chatting, and he is going through a bitter divorce. I was grateful that a dear friend reached out to me and encouraged me for nearly two hours. I needed that after those three difficult conversations.

I still have a couple of voicemails to return. People are asking for emotional, mental, financial, and business help. So many WhatsApp group messages to read, emails, and then social media.

Not another lockdown during the pandemic 

I was looking forward to Easter. I had bought a new BBQ and was going to grill fish, chicken, and enjoy Easter with my parents, whom I have only seen twice in more than 12 months.

Another 30-day lockdown was announced. OUCH.

A friend posted on social media ‘Are you fearing, learning or growing from the pandemic?’. It hit me.

The growth phase

Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny – C.S. Lewis

All the adversity I’ve had in my life, all my trouble and obstacles, have strengthened me – Walt Disney

I am finding the growth phase difficult.

A vaccine aids the body in fighting germs that could harm us. Adversity and challenges inoculate us from dealing with stress.

I have written about the challenge that a butterfly has to go through to become so beautiful. How about an oyster who because of one piece of sand makes a gorgeous pearl? One piece of sand inside the oyster makes it uncomfortable and it reacts by creating something beautiful.

Adversity is the fuel for greatness. I personally hate pain. However, it is pain that is shaping me into who I am. It is giving me the confidence that I will overcome this pandemic. It is building my character. In my weakness, I am a broken, recovering perfectionist, control freak, emotional, and private school brat. I am learning to deal with adversity and it is creating resilience. I am learning from being uncomfortable. Adversity is drawing out my compassion and my writing skills. I am learning to accept the pandemic.

Yes, I have a purpose but executing it needs so much more time and resources.

Go ahead and find a purpose. This is the defining moment for our generation.

Find a way to help others. So many people who we did not know helped us through Debbie’s cancer. I am doing the same. Sometimes just a call or listening to someone. My biggest weakness is listening. But I need to do it.

Practice peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, and compassion with others. We all need it at this moment.

Focus on faith, hope, and gratitude.

We all have to adapt. We are all in this boat together. Storms come; the waves become 20 feet. We have to change our sails. I admire Henry Ford who said that ‘When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.’

The learning phase

There is also the learning phase.

Adversity can be personal, discriminatory, failures or setbacks in a career.

I am learning to become more compassionate, self-aware, with limits of control, and flexibility. I find myself drinking more coke and eating more desserts.

I have to let go of things I cannot control. The government, the media, the vaccination, and everything else I cannot control. I am focusing on stuff I can control.

I am aware of everything going around me and am trying to control my emotions. There is so much pain, suffering, and loss out there.

It is important to accept that every human being is doing their best. There are no conspiracy theories. The Americans did land on the moon.

I am not letting the pandemic be everything. I am connecting with many friends. I am not ashamed of being an extrovert and that the pandemic is making me struggle.

The pandemic creates fear

It is easy to embrace the fear stage. It has been more than a year. It is easy to go to the supermarket and hoard stuff we do not need. It is easy to complain (I am guilty of this), get into arguments on social media about the actions or inactions of the government.

We all have a choice

History will judge us by our actions.

The post The Pandemic: Grow from it, learn from it, or fear it appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

Ritcha Saxena is a Pathologist, doctor, with an MD in Pathology and advanced training in the field of Hematopathology. A hematopathologist is someone who studies diseases of the blood such as leukemias, lymphomas, and myelomas. Ritcha has worked in different institutions during the long span of her career. These include studying pathological specimens and using them to diagnose, treat, and manage patients with hematological diseases, and reviewing specialty consults, training medical students, and pathology residents.

Nowadays, she is more focused on the academic side of things as a professor.  Ritcha loves teaching and says “I have always striven to share my knowledge and enthuse others. In fact, I have been teaching for over 25 years, and the way my students can still rouse my curiosity and stimulate me is very rewarding for me. It is perhaps just one of the reasons why I feel just as passionate about my work as I did when I was a beginner. The success of my students is another incredible source of satisfaction to me.”

Ritcha, talk to me about what you are reading, writing, and why?

I am an ardent (closet) bibliophage. I love the smell of old books, so I collect them wherever I can lay my hands on them. In the age of e-books, it is quasi-mystical to me to hold in my hands one of those old musty-smelling paperbacks. I am into fiction as well as non-fiction. Currently, I am reading The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale, and I keep thinking to myself – why hadn’t I done this sooner!

My deep-rooted passion for poetry has been recently rekindled. I have been a poetry aficionado for a long time, but the grind of life had deprived me of the time I used to spend devouring poems. I love free verse, acrostic, and pastoral poetry. To that effect, I have begun composing some of my own lines – based on my life experiences, my fondness for nature, and my love of life. I am amazed by the unanticipated peace and contentedness it has brought me; when I had begun writing these verses, I had never assumed that they would bring about such profound reactions within me. It’s been shocking, but I am now thrilled to have taken this chance!

My academic side persuades me to indulge in medical journals and magazines every now and then. I love to keep up with the latest advances related to my specialty and even otherwise. I also write a few of my own every once in a while. My latest article talks about different strategies I use to teach digitally in a pandemic.

I love to celebrate diversity and embrace peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, compassion, forgiveness, gratitude, and charity. Do we have anything in common?

Absolutely, we do. I believe that diversity is at the core of who we are. Being open-minded and fostering respect for each other is the only way we can get to know each other well. When we celebrate the diversity around us, it opens our eyes to the boundless beauty in everything around us. Instead of letting our differences separate us from each other, we can accept and honor them, and let them bring us together. And aren’t those other traits you mentioned necessary for that? Without kindness, compassion, gratitude, and charity, there can be no peace. In my opinion, when we are able to instill a love and understanding of diversity within ourselves, we automatically become peaceful as we show compassion and kindness to everyone around us.  All of these things contribute to a fulfilling and satisfying life. I strongly believe in imbibing these virtues in my life force and make sure not to let myself get bogged down by the negativity surrounding us.

I had a Kit Kat in grade 5 and fell in love with chocolate. I love chocolate with salt, chilies, and pepper. My favorite was chocolate soup in Mexico. Talk to me about your love for chocolates?

My love for chocolate is not as long-standing as yours. Of course, I enjoyed chocolates as a kid, but I think that love reached the point of addiction during med school when I started gorging on my favorite chocolates for hours while studying! At that time, I was all about caramel, almond, and raisin – infused chocolates. My taste has evolved since then though, and now I am desperately in love with all sorts of dark chocolates! My favorites happen to be Lindt Swiss Dark with Hazelnuts and Lindt Sea Salt Touch. I could eat them all day!

You are a fan of yoga. How are the food, mind, and body connected?

My body is a temple – I have always been a firm believer in that statement. Everything in life requires nourishment in order to grow and flourish. I am enthusiastic about symphonizing food, the body, and the mind with the help of different yoga exercises. Of course, we all know that the body and the brain are anatomically connected. It makes sense that what affects one would affect another and it is not possible to have a healthy body without a healthy mind and vice versa. However, it’s the way that our mindset, emotions, beliefs, and the general approach towards our life affects our bodily performance that I aim to address through yoga. Our minds and bodies are very sensitive to what we eat. It’s not only the physical well-being that is impacted by what we eat, but even the correlation between our emotions – happy, depressive, and anxious – and the foods we consume is widely established. The energy that our food provides, whether positive or negative, permeates every inch of our being and affects us correspondingly. From a bird’s eye view, we can see that it is possible to orchestrate our body in a way to have it function in the most optimal way. You can take care of your body by providing it with proper, balanced meals and your mind and wholesome wellbeing with the help of yoga. Without this interconnection, a risk of disharmony is ever-present. When addressed properly, self-care has the potential to heal almost all aspects of our lives. I am a foodie, and I admit to occasionally eating non-judiciously, whether it is over or under – eating, but at the end of the day, I know that I can depend on the power of yoga to keep me fit.

What is women empowerment and what do you want to see changed?

I believe that women empowerment is synonymous with freedom – the freedom to make choices independently and without fear of retaliation from society. Women empowerment is the ability to experience a journey through life equipped with the same opportunities as our counterparts. Women’s empowerment is the underlying foundation of a stronger society. When a woman is given the tools she needs to move forward towards success, she not only advances herself, but she also brings up the people around her. This is because women, by nature, are nurturers. If you support a woman, you support society. I would like to see more women recognizing their sense of self-worth and their power to make their own choices in life. It would also be good to see women in positions of power, supporting and encouraging other budding women in need of advice. If a woman can realize her power, she will be able to bring about a positive change in her life by seeking and utilizing opportunities to grow. We must educate and motivate women to take on more leadership positions and help them to identify their forte.

Talk to me about some of the topics we do not talk about in the Asian culture and is put under the carpet. Why is it that we should discuss these topics to move ahead?

Every misfortune in life stems from ignorance. Ignoring a problem only leads to the worsening of the situation. There are some topics in every culture that are swept under the carpet, including the Asian culture, with feminism being one of the most difficult topics for people to swallow. In traditionally patriarchal societies, many women in Asian culture are not allowed to seek out their own partner for marriage and are forced to agree to arranged marriages in their own caste/religion system. Many women are not allowed to work or seek higher education after marriage. Many women are not allowed to seek divorce if they are having domestic problems. Of course, I feel that certain progress is being made and it is good to see that awareness is gradually cropping up now. However, the continued ignorance of addressing these problems is still prevalent in some places, and it will lead to a future of more oppression for not only women but the people around them who are also affected by their inability to make decisions for themselves. In order to move ahead, we must not ignore situations that are deemed ‘taboo’ culturally. Raising awareness and creating healthy discussions on these topics is the first step towards moving ahead towards a healthier and stronger society.

Walk me through what you find attractive in a man, looks, charm, being sensitive, artist, writer, or someone who makes you laugh?

Attractive to me is someone who can make me laugh, as you mentioned. Life has so many twists and turns, but to be able to face it all with a smile is one of the biggest blessings. And having someone who can make that happen is even better. I believe that looks are temporary but inner beauty is something that stays forever. Someone who is supportive, empathetic, and attentive and has his own talents & hobbies that he can introduce me to and make me a part of – are other very attractive qualities. I am a simple woman and for me, simplicity is key. A nice laugh, a warm conversation, a beautiful walk on the beach during the sunset … these simple things are attractive to me.

Have you ever thought about your legacy and what do you want it to be?

Honestly, it is not something I have thought very deeply about. However, the broad picture that I have in mind describes my legacy as being of love, respect, and knowledge and wisdom that came from my life experiences. As a child, I was taught to always be kind and respect others. These qualities have been deep-rooted in me from the beginning, and I believe that I have managed to follow them completely. I decided to become a physician when I was in the third grade. Back then, I did not know what it took to become one, but I had seen an elderly couple suffering from a medical ailment, and I instantly wanted to erase their suffering. As I grew up, even though I realized that I could not end all suffering, I feel gratified to know that I have helped ease some, and that is very important to me. I would like to inspire people to help the underprivileged. I also hope that my poetry, which is my way of self-expression, become a part of my legacy.

Now that you have mentioned it, I am probably going to think further and overthink about my personal legacy, until I have got it right and satisfactory to myself.

My daughter is 16. Give her some advice on life, on men, on education, on career, and how to navigate life?

16 is a beautiful age. It is the time in our life where we are on the cusp of growing out of our childhood and experiencing life with a growing sense of maturity. My advice to her on life would be to make sure that first and foremost, she recognizes her goals in life. We all have a purpose in life and the sooner you identify it, the sooner you can start working towards it. Once you have decided what you want to do in life, I advise that you enjoy each moment. You and I will sadly never go back to being 16 again, but if we have enjoyed each moment from that age until now, we won’t feel the need to go back because we will have carried our moments and memories with us. My advice on men would be a little conservative in the sense that I would advise her to keep her eyes open, but not to make a decision to settle down until her education is complete. In the world we live in, a woman must be financially independent and self-reliant. As emotional beings, girls often get blinded by love early in life and it is important to tread the waters carefully and make decisions logically and not emotionally. Commitment to a man is a very important and meticulous decision and should be made with utmost care. I would tell her that navigating life is not that hard if you have a set of principles that you follow. You must always make decisions that are ethical and fair and you must never lose your smile. With these things in mind, life can be very beautiful.

The post A Doctor Appointment appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

I love poems. One cannot reason with poems. Imagination, emotions, feelings, sensibilities, and vibes are the stomping grounds of prose and poems. Poetry is not sciences and cannot be put under a process or argument. The dichotomy of that statement is that poetry has played a major role in shaping us as humans. Poems transmit ethics, codes, morality, knowledge, and values. Poems inspire and empower us.

Can poetry survive in the postmodern dystopian world of social media, crass commercialism, individuality, and capitalism gone wild on drugs?  The answer is yes. Poetry is thriving.

I am so grateful to my school for exposing me to Yeats, Keats, Burns, Kipling, and Shakespeare and their famous poems. As teenagers, we were challenged to have a holistic experience of life.

Poetry has been part of our culture since the beginning of time. Society needs them to be our conscience.

I am excited to interview Aimee Williams, who is a poet. Her poetry has inspired me as we all face a challenging year.

Aimee, welcome. You are the first poet; I am interviewing on Four Columns. Tell me something interesting about you?

I feel honored and privileged to be the first poet you have interviewed…thank you for choosing me! Hmmm something interesting about me….my mum is a former beauty queen (something I feel very proud to be able to say).

Have you always been a poet from a young age? And did you win all the literature prizes at school?

I have written poetry from as young as I can remember and in fact, I found an old notepad when I recently moved house, of all my younger years poems! I was around 10 years old when I started that particular notepad. I have won various poetry competitions over the years.

What role do a poet and poetry play in modern society?

I believe there is absolutely a place for poetry in modern society. It can bring comfort, happiness, and joy. It can give people a voice when they otherwise feel silenced. It can speak to communities in a deep and meaningful way and help to raise awareness of poignant issues. It can be an escape, a release, a form of therapy. I am also a social worker and I use poetry in my work with young people, helping them to tell their story and express their feelings in a unique and personal way. I also love performance poetry and I have worked with a number of different companies and organizations to produce multimedia packages to promote their causes. Poetry can really help to speak to hearts and minds in a positive way.  

Name me some poets that have influenced you and what is it about them you liked?

When I was a young child I loved the poet Pam Ayers. My Grandmother gave me one of her poetry books when I was around 10 years old and I loved her humor and her storytelling through rhyme and rhythm.

I admire the poet, Lemn Sissy. He writes about his own personal experiences of being in care, among many other things. He inspires me as a social worker and a writer.

Hollie McNish is one of my favorite performance poets. I love her honesty and her humor.  

Do you also write short stories and novels? And if you do what kind?

Yes, I do write stories too. I write children’s rhyming stories and my first book called ‘The Fairy, The Dreamer, and a Rabbit named Woof’ was published in 2018.

I want to know a little about the city you live in and the food scene?

The closest city to me is Bristol. Bristol has a thriving current and historical arts scene. Some of the modern venues and modern digital production companies have merged with legacy production companies based in old buildings around the city. In 2008 the city was a finalist for the 2008 European Capital of Culture. The city was designated “City of Film” by UNESCO in 2017 and has been a member of the Creative Cities Network since then.

The city has many venues for live music, it’s largest being the 2,000-seat Colston Hall, named after Edward Colston.

Bristol is the birthplace of 18th-century poets Robert Southey and Thomas Chatterton. William Wordsworth spent time in Bristol too. Actor Cary Grant was born in Bristol and comedians from the city include Justin Lee Collins and Lee Evans.

Bristol has long enjoyed a reputation as having one of the best food scenes in the UK. It has secured its place as the UK’s most interesting and vibrant food city outside London. The food scene is diverse and adds to the fabulous multicultural city that Bristol is.

As a modern poet, what does women empowerment mean to you?

The word empowerment means so much to me on so many levels. It means giving people a voice, giving people an opportunity, and giving people some power when they may otherwise feel powerless. This is true in my role as a poet and as a social worker.

As a poet, do you have any secrets as to how you manage your finances?

I am privileged to have my job in social work part-time and I also run two small businesses (a way with words bespoke poetry and Uniquely Chic furniture restoration business).

How have you kept yourself busy during the lockdown?

Writing! I have been writing a series called ‘Poems from a Lighthouse’. I challenged myself on day one of lockdown to write and publish a poem a day on social media.  The only time I missed a few days was when I was very poorly with what the doctors believed to be Corona Virus. The intention of this poetry series was to spread some positivity and light and it felt like one little thing I could do in a world where none of us have much control right now.  This grew into something much bigger then I anticipated and I have been sharing my own experiences of lockdown, the highs and lows, writing about anxiety and chronic illness, the experiences of children during lockdown (which my own children helped me write!) but also the humor of homeschooling and working from home with 3 small children! Leading up to Easter I did ‘word of the day’ where people would send me a word to describe how they felt and I would write about it, trying to help others put into words what they were feeling-this was well received too.  I composed a poem to music and photos for Victory in Europe Day and I produced spoken poetry for local and national charities and organizations to help them raise money and awareness. During mental health awareness week, I wrote every day about anxiety, depression, and other mental health struggles. I write and share my own experiences and the responses I had were great.  What began as a little challenge to myself to reach my local community grew into people around the world sharing my poems, which is great given the whole world is in this together!

The post Poems About Life appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

Covid-19 has changed our lives forever. I will never forget September 11, 2001. As I entered the office, I had all kinds of plans and goals. I was getting married in 11 days. I wanted to make a few stock and currency trades. Stockbrokers around me were joking that some drunken person had driven his Cessna plane into the twin towers. I was surrounded by computer screens showing me all the trades that had happened overnight. I then looked at the television and saw the second plane hit the tower. It was the defining moment of my generation that changed our lives. The market crash of 2008, left its harsh marks forever. In my short life, I have seen the fall of the Berlin Wall and Apartheid. Both have made the world a better place. I have seen SARS, Ebola, and Bird Flu.

I was looking forward to 2020. My daughter was turning 16 and I wanted to surprise her with a trip to Eastern Europe. We have been traveling since she was young and had seen the whole of North America, Central America, Caribbean and Western Europe.  I was also interviewing for a dream job.

The news about Covid-19 hit the news around the same time that Kobe Bryant died. A lot of us dismissed the virus. Even at Canadian airports, just a basic check was being done on travelers coming in.

In January, my wife got diagnosed with cancer. In February she had a mastectomy. The quarantine hit in March. All my plans got squashed.

The first thing I am learning is that I am not in control. I cannot control the disease that is ravaging my wife, I cannot control my daughter, I cannot control the economy.

The second thing I am learning is to appreciate life. I had taken life for granted. I had taken my wife’s health for granted. I am learning to appreciate my family.

A lot of people have asked me how am I doing. I am focusing on being grateful. It is that gratitude that keeps me going.

Finally, I am slowing down. I am taking it one hour, one day at a time.

I have asked bloggers from around the world to share what they have learned through the Covid-19 crisis.

Name: Sharon

Blog: Dailydream360

I thought I had this self-isolation thing down before the COVID-19 crisis started. I thought I already work from home and live alone, so how hard can a COVID-19 lockdown be? Here is what I discovered about myself and my business during the lockdown.

Discipline and Schedule: One of the most important things for me was maintaining my productivity and daily schedule. Even when I had no client work or with website traffic at an all-time low, I made sure that I set aside time to sit in front of the computer and get some job done. I made sure that my schedule also included time for Yoga, a workout, or even a walk around my condo to get to 5,000 steps a day.

Change of Scenery: I can’t complain about my condo size, I live in an 1100 sq. ft.  However, I found early into the lockdown that sitting in my office too long made me go a bit stir crazy. Being self-employed, I used to go to a workspace, coffee shop, or even the library to change my location. During the lockdown, I created a standing desk at my Kitchen island and moved between the office and kitchen to do different work tasks. When the weather warmed up, I created a beautiful outdoor work area on my balcony to take out my laptop and sit and do some writing or other administrative tasks.

Getting Out of My Head: The curse of the self-employed person is the dialogue in your head all day. I didn’t want to spend all the time working and worrying about what was going to happen. With no clients and the doom and gloom online, I had to distract myself from the news. I made sure to find activities I can do to entertain myself. I bought puzzles to work on over the weekends, read many books and participated in several cocktail hours over zoom with friends.

Name: Liz

Blog: Mindingmythirties

COVID-19 taught me the importance of slowing down. I didn’t realize how much I needed to catch my breath and decompress. I was constantly rushing from one thing to the next and this forced quarantine really taught me to redirect my energy in a more sustainable way. It also served as a good reminder of what’s truly important – the things we cannot replace – like our health and mental well-being. The markets crashed and most people lost some money, myself included, but I’m beyond thankful for my health. And no matter what happens in the economy – I need to put that first and foremost. Because without it all the money in the world is useless.

Name: Lyosha

Blog: lyoshathegirl

The biggest lesson I have learned is to slow down.  I live in a megapolis with 12 million people and everyone is rushing. The pandemic resulted in everything getting canceled and my schedule was empty. I like to rush, I like being busy and want my calendar filled. I watched the fashion week on a laptop with my puppy. For the first time in 5 years, I was not working on my birthday. It was fresh. But at the same time, this lesson of keeping it still, canceling the crazy life around you is not a lesson I truly want to share.

We need to take advantage of the time and opportunities we have. We think ‘I’ll go on vacation when I finish this project’, ‘I don’t want to go anywhere to see my family because I am tired from work’, ‘I can’t find time for the gym yet’, ‘I’ll have it done next week’, ‘I’ll wait for better offer’ — familiar, right? I didn’t go to visit my grandmother because I wanted to have some rest. I didn’t cut my hair because I thought I had plenty of time.  The pandemic closed our borders. My grandmother’s condition got worse and she does not recognize me anymore. I have stopped waiting for a better moment to do stuff.  Life is unpredictable, the future is unknown, the only time you actually have is now.

Name: Kimmy

Blog: StoryTale

2020, the world was looking forward to this new decade with space travels for the commoners when the pandemic hit unexpectedly. Not once in my lifetime nor in my mum’s lifetime did we witness a global economic halt on such a scale. People were rampaging through supermarkets to fight for the last roll of toilet paper. Insanity couldn’t even begin to describe it.

The bitter moments in life only make the sweet ones even sweeter. Throughout this storm of madness, I witnessed the best in people around me. Friends that were willing to share their last box of face masks, strangers that stood in the streets to distribute toilet paper rolls…All these are hilarious, yet heartwarming.

Who’d have known a year ago that one roll of toilet paper can let you see through a person so well? Not only was this a chance to learn about people around me, but it was also a chance for me to get to know myself. Am I willing to share in such desperate times, not knowing if I will have enough for myself?

What I have learned from COVID-19 is to give, even when times are tough. We live in a collective society. By helping others to contain it, you are helping yourself. I think that’s a lesson many countries learned the hard way.

Name: Stephanie

Blog: Mama Shark.

When they first announced we were going to be under a stay-at-home order for 2 weeks, I immediately felt anxiety creeping in- what was I going to do at home with my kids for 2 weeks???

Now we’re nearly 4 months into being at home, and while I am very excited for some sense of normal to eventually return, I’ve learned some things I didn’t expect:

1. My kids don’t need to be given things to do all the time. Sure, it’s nice to have a plan for something fun, but a routine that includes time for them to be creative is ok! They actually enjoy it, and we’ve ended up with some fun daily activities- like dance parties!

1. It’s really nice to not have to rush as much in the mornings. My kids are morning people, so we’re still up early, but not having to push them to get ready quickly has been nice.

1. It’s okay to not pay full attention to my kids every time I’m in their presence.  Now, I’m not saying it’s okay to ignore my kids, but I’ve realized that the pressure I felt to always engage every moment is not necessary.

Name: Matt

Blog: Digital Sages

Overall, I’ve generally discovered that less really can be more- though I’m still very ready to get out of the house eventually!

One glaring issue that the COVID-19 crisis has shown is the absence of discipline and personal responsibility evident throughout our country. The lack of self-control is staggering, and perhaps a testament to how our society teaches us to constantly defer responsibility and indulge in emotionalism rather than calmly address situations with logic and mindfulness.

We could all do with a bit more awareness. Of the words we speak, of the actions, we take, of what we are thinking at any given moment. It’s clear that there is a lack of understanding in regards to how our thoughts and actions affect other people, and this has never been more evident than in the last couple of months. Runs on stores, people fighting over toilet paper, people losing their minds in supermarkets just because they get called out for not wearing a mask.

It’s not difficult to wear a mask. It’s not difficult to be considerate of other people. COVID-19 has shown that many of us need to take a step back and simply re-focus on the moment and practice a bit more self-control. Higher awareness leads to a happier life.

Name: Jaishree Nenwani

Blog: GetSetHappy.

We can lead a better life when we are not participating in the rat race: 

Prior to the pandemic, in the so-called normal life, we all are busy with rushing to work, spending long hours there, and always under pressure to meet the targets. COVID-19 sidelined all those “targets”, locked down the whole world inside the home, where you got to stay with those people who were mostly ignored while you were busy making money.

We really don’t need too much to live a happy and healthy life.

We have lived through a lockdown. The Shelter, food, water, communication, medicines and education and entertainment were all we had. And we lived quite well with this much. This lockdown has forced us to realize, what we actually need to live our lives reasonably well.

Lastly, I would say Life never stops, it keeps moving. We need to do the same before life slips out of our hands. Live well, enjoy the time with your family, and stay connected with your loved ones. Life is precisely and worth living every moment.

Live. Love. Laugh and this pandemic too shall pass.

Name: Tiffany

Blog: SavingTalents.

One thing I’ve learned during COVID-19 is how to redefine how I measure myself as a mother.  I homeschool my kids, and we always had at least one extracurricular activity out of the home every single day.  We were very busy, but I felt satisfaction at the end of each day because I was coordinating learning and fun for my kids.

I didn’t realize how little I engaged with my children outside of school and activities, however.  Now that we are home all day, every day (as well as with a new baby born in May), I can no longer feel satisfaction in how good of a job I’m doing with my previous measuring tools.  I now have to be proactive and deliberate in my relationship and interactions with my children.

I’m learning that my love languages are definitely not my children’s love languages.  I am seeing a lot of ways where I fall short on a daily basis because I no longer have outside activities that force me to engage with my kids.  By nature, I’m not the most nurturing person – it’s always been a struggle for me.  I love my children, but I could go all day without having to do things with them.  I didn’t realize how much I hid behind our extracurriculars.  This process has been extremely humbling, and it requires a great deal of effort and going outside of my comfort zone.

Name: Vanesh

Blog: TechnoVans

Learned to help more Indian Startups to promote their online business – I helped some businesses to increase their online visibility through my blog Technovans. Many China made apps got banned in India, hence I have spread the awareness of developing our own apps and helped Indian founders, software professionals to promote their apps.

Learned to make more connections to some awesome bloggers – I used the time I save from traveling for my blog. I read a lot in this period and learned how to use social media to increase the traffic to our blog or website. I connected with some awesome bloggers. I got some more guest posts from Twitter-connections to get published on my blog. I have focused more on Twitter to increase the traffic to my blog.

Name: Brenda

Blog: MyAngelsVoice.

COVID-19…I Am So Over It

We all woke up on January 1st 2020….with high hopes of what the brand-new year would bring…vacations we would take…people we would meet. The world was our oyster…but wait a minute…”Stop the Press!” Our world as we knew it was no longer within reach…and frankly getting farther and farther away from our grasp.

Working for surgeons…this is what I do everyday…. well…. our world stopped because elective cases were at a standstill…it was eight long weeks before surgeries slowly began again…finally a small bit of normalcy.

For me personally…what I’ve learned from this pandemic is that COVID-19 has only amplified the need for people to pull together…to realize how fragile life really is and how easily can be taken away. That material things…well are just material things. I have a love-hate relationship with the face masks that I wear every day but will continue to wear until it is safe not too…because it’s not just about me…I’m wearing it for you.

Name: Nadia Malik

Blog: SpeakingOfCents.

Most of us have been adapting to the new normal as a result of Covid-19 and if I am completely honest it hasn’t been easy. Being a mom and an online business owner, I have struggled with several things but here are some things I have learned during this time. Being organized with my personal life and my work is super important in order to create harmony and balance. Being productive with the small pockets of time in my hectic routine has brought positive effects. I have become better at switching quickly between my mom’s duties and work commitments. I have made my peace with the fact that there are certain things in my business that cannot continue at this moment and I have to pivot and find new ways to grow my business. I have learned many new skills that I would have never tried if it was not for this pandemic. Learning to adapt is my biggest lesson during Covid-19.

Name: Jessie

Blog: Bright-Eyed & Ginger-Haired

I think I speak for a lot of people by saying that this whole year has kind of been a blur. I can’t believe that it’s already July honestly. Just four months ago I was living over 10,000 miles away in West Java, Indonesia teaching English with the Peace Corps and now I’m sitting in my childhood home waiting for this whole thing out so that I can hopefully return someday. I guess the main thing that I’ve learned throughout this entire experience is that nothing is permanent. No matter how set you may think your plans are, things can always change. I’ve also learned a lot about patience and acceptance. Even though this year has been completely different from how I pictured it would be, accepting that this is my life in this moment and in this season has been incredibly beneficial on my mental health and overall productivity throughout quarantine. It has also been reassuring to discover that just like my time in Indonesia, this crazy period in our lives too will pass. It may be a long time before things are “back to normal,” but it will pass and we will enter another season.

Name: Hope

Blog: UndertheMedian

Like most families with a houseful of kids, over the years our schedule had become overburdened with activities. Although each of them seemed to be adding to our lives in at least in some meaningful way, when taken as a whole, we often found ourselves running daily from one commitment to the next. We were six people, existing in the same space, yet not connecting in any meaningful way.

Suddenly, the clubs, choirs, and classes were gone. Even church morphed into a socially-distanced, on-line event. Overnight, we had T-I-M-E for each other. We went for walks and bike rides, played board games, and imparted faith and encouragement to one another in a way we hadn’t for many years.

COVID-19 taught us that in order to connect as a family, we need to carefully consider the events which fill our days and nights. Today, we have prioritized, paring back our schedule, leaving breathing space and downtime. We are more balanced, more aware, and more intentional. We are a better family because of the lessons we learned during COVID-19.

Name: Scott DeNicola

Blog: www.dadontheedge.com

COVID-19 has not been easy on anyone but it has taught us a valuable lesson on the importance of family and slowing down to enjoy each other’s company. We all lead a very busy life and my house is no exception. I work a full-time job, run a web site, and in the evenings work a personal shopping and delivery service in my surrounding area. My wife works full time and my oldest daughter attends college and works part-time and teaches dance. My youngest daughter is in high school, on the varsity kickline team and dances 4 nights a week. Needless to say, we are rarely all together in the house at one time for anything other than sleep. COVID-19 has forced us all to remain together for several months and we’ve enjoyed having dinners together and going for walks and bike rides around the neighborhood. It has taught us that in the end, the most important part of your life is right inside your four walls and under your roof. That is and always will be your immediate family.

Name: Ronita

Blog: Erraticrantings

I wonder if anyone can use the words “lockdown” or “viral” anymore without shuddering. People already have and are continuing to pay a huge price for the coronavirus. Migrant workers have been forced out of cities, hospital doors have been closed to the less fortunate, people have died on the streets. We may never know their stories.

Our minds are longing for a return to normalcy. But the biggest lesson of all is that nothing can be worse than returning to normalcy. That’s because the pre-coronavirus “normal” with its capitalism and casteism, its religious fundamentalism, its indifference to suffering, its prejudices, and ignorance is what led to the inability of coping with the crisis. We have built this doomsday for ourselves.

It is time to realize that our pre-pandemic ways of living do not measure up to the situation of the world anymore. There are costs associated with the choices that affect people around us, knowingly or unknowingly.

I have realized the importance of trading some of my freedom for the greater good of the public. I have learned that there is never only one answer to a problem and that there are more alternatives than we allow ourselves to see. Covid-19 is an eye-opener. It has offered me the chance to reassess my actions of the past and put in the effort, in my capacity, to help build a better society, a new normal.

Name: Sonia

Blog: Lifewithsonia

I have learned a lot from Covid-19 and the chaos that came with it. I never really understood what it meant when people say ‘Sonia, count your blessings’, until now.

We live in a world where everybody is comfortable with complaining and getting angry about things that don’t matter. To point where we forget to appreciate every moment of the beauty of having to breathe the fresh air of life itself.

I count my blessings based on the fact that even with a medical condition, I am alive, healthy and strong. It was a bit confusing because I did not think the Royal family, Presidents, Politicians, were untouchable. COVID-19 has made me realize it doesn’t matter how rich or poor you are, taking care of your health is vital to achieving anything in life.

It has been the wakeup call that I needed to stop complaining about the things I want but can’t have. And start appreciating the little things basic things that I need and have more. Such as making my health a priority as well as protecting people around me, spending time with family and close friends. Doing what I love more and maintaining a positive mindset.

Name: Amanda Griesbaum

Blog: Followingisidore

COVID-19 has been an interesting time.  While its impacts haven’t seemed as great in our rural community, it has made a few things very clear: I love living in the county with a big yard and space to let my kids run and play (people in apartments/small spaces/no yard, how did you survive?!), I really don’t need to run everywhere and, I don’t care for virtual learning as a teacher-I thought keeping kids engaged in a classroom was hard!

The biggest take-away for me, however, is that I really did enjoy working from home and being available for my family. I always saw myself as needing to work outside of the home.  I love to work, solve problems, and feel that excited push toward a goal. Now, I realize there are other options that will allow me to keep those feelings and still have an income as I prioritize my family and our farm.  This knowledge is an incredibly exciting/terrifying shift in what I thought I needed.

That realization has motivated me to start an online-based business. That way I can DO what I love and take care of WHO I love how I want to.

Name: Lina

Blog: thecaffeinatedintrovert

Prior to COVID, our world has been a constant go go go.  But then COVID-19 happened to force us all to stay home and practice social distancing. With the sudden shutdown, we HAD to slow down. While it is very scary not to know what we don’t know, it has been a great reminder to me to slow down. We do not need all the material things we once thought we needed, we don’t need to eat out every week or even every day and we don’t need to feel the need to do that next big thing.

I am a nurse and it did not slow down for me at work. As with most of the world, we had to shift gear and develop protocols in a constantly
changing environment. And continue to learn every day.

The biggest thing I learned about myself during this time is I needed to slow down and take care of myself. As a mom, nurse, and self-proclaimed workaholic,  I am so focused on others’ wellbeing. I have been making self-care a priority for me and it has definitely helped me get through those tough days.

Name: Jayshree

Blog: literarygitane

I am getting to know my family more intimately. I enjoy having personal and philosophical conversations with my husband and children instead of mainly discussing their work or course selections and sports schedules. We go on hikes, we bake bread and pull weeds together from the garden beds. We are discovering joy in the mundane moments and we have become more contemplative and introspective.

On my daily walks, I am discovering the beauty of my neighborhood that I had taken for granted. I stop to appreciate the papery scroll-like texture of the bark of birch or to observe a bunny hopping across the length of a lawn. I don’t have to travel far away to see a spectacular sight in nature. Beauty and love are not elusive ideals but can be found in the most unremarkable moments.

I now understand that we cannot control everything in life and that our days on the planet could be shorter than we might realize. I have learned to embrace uncertainty. When normalcy returns, I hope I will never return to that frenzied pace of living but take time to smell the roses. Covid-19 has changed my outlook and made me realize that what matters most is a connection with my near and dear ones and with nature.

Name: Cindy

Blog: Cindygoesbeyond

This is what COVID19 taught me. Nothing, not even a worldwide pandemic, can cage me or stop me from living the life I am creating.

Yes, it changed my travel plans. I adapted by coming up with new ways to explore my world, from creating a backyard paradise to establishing monthly road trips to places I’ve not been to, within 150 miles from home.

And I’ve enjoyed spending time with my grandchildren after stay-at-home orders lifted. It’s a confusing time for children as well, with the school year ending early and an uncertain fall reopening. We’ve had deep and meaningful conversations around all that is happening in the world and I treasure those talks.

COVID19 helped me clarify my desires and intentions. It’s helped me to define what I do and don’t want in my life. It’s shown me the importance of maintaining my health and boosting my immune system. And it’s revealed the strength and resiliency of people around the world.

I’ll certainly remember this year as one of the most unique in my lifetime. We can learn and grow through any situation and circumstance.

The post Real-Life Lessons Learned From Challenges appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

Resilience is how well people deal with and bounce back from the challenges of life. Resilience is the process of adjusting positively as you face challenges, tragedy, adversity, threats, and major sources of stress like job loss, divorce, financial issues, health problems, workplace discrimination, or the current COVID crisis. Resilience is not only about bouncing back, but also about learning and growing from the experience. The challenges are difficult and painful, but one needs to be aware of what they can control. Resilience helps you walk through the challenging times in your life and empowers you.

Resilience does not mean you will not face challenges in your life. The truth is that some of the most resilient people have faced and gone through the most challenging things a person can face. Resilience can be learned and involves developing actions, behaviors, and thoughts that help you bounce back from traumatic events in your life.

The Three  Aspects of Resilience

Susan Kobasa, a leading psychologist, talks about the three aspects of resilience. The first is the challenge. When you are facing difficulties in your life, you have to see it as a challenge and not as an event that will paralyze you. The difficulty has to be viewed as an opportunity to learn and grow, and not negatively. The second is that you have to be committed to your goals, values, ethos, friendships, relationships, and beliefs, and find a reason to get up in the morning. The third part is to focus on what you can control. When you focus on what you can control and let go, you feel confident and empowered. If you focus on what you cannot control, it will make you feel powerless.

Where is My GPS?

Life on planet Earth does not come with a GPS. However, the challenges and the traumatic events of life on Earth can impact us negatively. These events bring up a variety of feelings, emotions, thoughts, and uncertainty. Debbie has been battling cancer for six months. Last week I got a text that someone I have known my whole life committed suicide. I have been asked a lot about how I manage to stay resilient. Here are my eleven secrets to staying resilient. I have included quotes from strong women who have been resilient in their lives.

Find a purpose and a deeper meaning

Grief and resilience live together – Michelle Obama, Becoming

One of my best friends committed suicide two years after high school. In the last few years, I have lost one of my closest friends from university and another from the business world. Last week, someone from my youth group committed suicide. As we come across a tragedy or a crisis in our personal lives we have to find a sense of purpose. I started a blog, got more involved in volunteering, more introspective, and started aligning all my activities with my goals and values.

As Debbie fights cancer, I am learning to become more compassionate, understanding, kind, and gentle.

Be Positive about your capabilities

I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it – Maya Angelo

When Debbie was diagnosed with cancer, my daughter was handling it the best. She was just confident. I learned from her that we have to be confident about our capabilities on how to handle this event in our family. I had to focus on what we call a SWOT analysis in the business world. However, I had to focus on my strengths and keep the positive tape in my brain going.

Friendships are important

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance, never settle for the path of least resistance – Lee Ann Womack, I Hope You Dance

I would not have made it through the present crisis without close friends. I continue to stay connected with friends and cousins to share my feelings about what I am going through. This support does wonders for our emotional, physical, spiritual, mental, and psychological health.

It is important to also connect with people who are understanding, gentle, compassionate, empathetic, and who validate what you are going through. I have spoken to many people whose spouses have gone through cancer. It helps what you are feeling is natural. Sometimes there is a natural tendency to isolate ourselves. It is important to connect with people.

The only constant in life is change

Resilience isn’t a single skill. It’s a variety of skills and coping mechanisms. To bounce back from bumps in the road as well as failures, you should focus on emphasizing the positive – Jean Chatzky

When I was doing my MBA and as we studied about companies that survived and those that perished the only difference was the survivors adapted to change. We have to constantly adapt to our surroundings. Stick to your values and core concepts but we have to adapt. Those that are flexible and embrace the changes thrive in the long run. I had to adapt my lifestyle and my attitude about being a spouse of a cancer patient.

Be Confident 

Like tiny seeds with potent power to push through tough ground and become mighty trees, we hold innate reserves of unimaginable strength. We are resilient – Catherine DeVrye, The Gift of Nature

When we are going through challenging times, it is tough to be confident in the tunnel. However, you have to cling to hope and focus on staying positive. Positive thinking does not mean you ignore the problem or the challenges you are facing. It means that the stumbling blocks are temporary and we need to focus on our capabilities to handle the challenge. I am confident that after chemo and radiation Debbie will make it through the end of November.

Self-care

Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying ‘I will try again tomorrow – Mary Anne Radmacher

Taking care of yourself is the most important thing you can do for yourself. You need to eat healthy food, get sleep, rest, build new skills, and even seek counseling.

Focus on solutions, not problems

The world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it – Helen Keller

No matter what we are going through, focus on solutions. Do not ask why me but what now. There are times when there is no solution. However, you have to try to take baby steps to make your situation less stressful.

Join a group

She stood in the storm and when the wind did not blow her way, she adjusted her sails – Elizabeth Edwards

I have spoken to many men whose spouses have gone through cancer. When you talk to other people who have gone through similar circumstances it helps you. Join a group of people who are going through similar issues. Talk about it and get together. It will do miracles for you. It is good to talk and get things out. If you keep it inside, you end with a lot of psycho-somatic issues. 

Practice mindfulness

Rock bottom became the solid foundation in which I rebuilt my life – J.K. Rowling

Mindfulness is the basic human ability to be fully present, aware of where we are and what we’re doing, and not overly reactive or overwhelmed by what’s going on around us. I personally find breathing very helpful.

Focus on one goal

The human capacity for burden is like bamboo- far more flexible than you’d ever believe at first glance – Jodi Picoult, My Sister’s Keeper

As Debbie goes through cancer, we just take it one day at a time. There is a tendency to focus on the end and how it will all look once chemo and radiation are done.

Ask for help

Resilience is accepting your new reality, even if it’s less good than the one you had before. You can fight it, you can do nothing but scream about what you’ve lost, or you can accept that and try to put together something that’s good – Elizabeth Edwards

I am bad at asking for help. My wife is even worse. However, I was challenged to ask for help. As I asked for help, I have a meal train for us and people driving Debbie for her chemo and other appointments.

The key takeaway from this post is that whenever you are going through a challenging time, in order to be resilient:

Do not listen to the news, it is all negative, look to other sources for empowerment and inspiration

It is ok to cry and express what you are going through

Go for a walk and connect with nature

Focus on your strengths and be confident

Have a real, deep and vulnerable conversation with a close friend or family member

Talk to someone who has gone through or going through similar challenges like you

Pray, meditate and connect with a higher power

Write what you are going through and feeling

Practice kindness towards others and to yourself

Music inspires and empowers you, listen to it

Breathe deeply

Take it one day and one hour at a time. Focus on the present.

The post Resilience & Stress Management appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

Two years after graduating from high school, one of my closest friends committed suicide. I had never dealt with it. I got caught up in university, climbing the corporate ladder, and on the performance treadmill. On my 10th wedding anniversary, as I was having a romantic dinner on the beach in the Mayan Riviera, I asked Debbie how we were doing as a married couple. Her answer about me not being a good sleeper changed my life forever. This week, as I deal with COVID, Debbie is battling cancer, I get a text from a friend that someone we have known all our lives committed suicide. As I get older, I am more aware of mental health. If you read my blog, I have written on forgiveness, patience, self-care, depression, drug, and alcohol abuse.

On Twitter, I found out that Chris Mitchell, a Canadian travel writer and content creator based in Toronto, was starting a podcast on anxiety. I got in touch with him and asked him a few questions about anxiety.  Chris has been writing about and documenting his travels around 80 countries for a decade. Chris is also the cofounder of the Toronto Bloggers Collective, a community dedicated to supporting content creators.  I have been in groups all my life. The Toronto Bloggers Collective is one of the best groups I have been a part of. Chris is friendly, outgoing, sensitive, loving, and passionate. He loves his wife and is real and vulnerable. Abigail Van Buren said that “The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”

Many bloggers have liked my style of writing. However, when it came to collaboration it was always about my DA and PA scores. Chris was the first blogger who offered me to write a piece on Bellwoods Brewery. Read this interview a couple of times. Also if you know of anyone struggling with anxiety have them listen to the podcast.

Chris, an honor to have you on Four Columns. We are going to talk about travel, food, marriage, and anxiety. I know you started a podcast on anxiety, what is it, and how does it affect us?

Firstly, let me just thank you for having me on, Jerry. The pleasure is all mine. 

You’re absolutely right, I did just start a podcast on anxiety. It’s called “I’m Anxious About…,” and I’m proud to say it has garnered a fair bit of interest thus far. In short, it’s a podcast where my co-host Allison and I look at a different thing we’re anxious about each week and break it down with plenty of humor and honesty. 

It’s meant to be a place that folks can come for a laugh, but most importantly, it’s a place where we can share our own journey and let folks know they’re not alone. 

So far, the response has been deeply humbling, and I’m grateful I took the gamble in starting this, despite that voice in my head that offered no shortage of doubt and criticism. But that is, in essence, what this podcast is all about, right? Challenging that voice. 

Anyway, if folks are curious, they can find us wherever they find their podcasts. 

Sometimes as men, we put on this macho front. However, we are hurting inside. How did you realize you were suffering from anxiety. What made you realize this is something we have to talk about?

Well, Jerry, that’s a good question. My journey with anxiety started about a decade ago when I lost my best friend unexpectedly. His name was Kiel, and, in truth, he was more like a brother to me than a friend. I felt a lot of pain that more or less concentrated in confusion. 

I still do feel great pain, but now I’ve harnessed that to ensure I can do my best to live for both of us. I try to remember that he’d want me to think of him and smile, so I focus on the good memories. 

When I found out about his passing, it was 2011 and I was living in Seoul, South Korea with Bri. 

I would find that occasionally as we were walking along I’d almost get swept up in a river of my own thoughts. People would be talking to me, but the conversation I had in my head was drowning them out. I’d often have to head off to the bathroom to regroup. 

It took me a long time to realize that these initial struggles which I thought were isolated and fluky incidents were actually the beginning of my anxiety. Or, rather, it took me a long time to accept that. 

I began to question why my initial reaction to feeling like I may be struggling was to hide it – even from my partner. Now, I understand it’s because I had a false notion that having anxiety or depression or what have you made you weak. 

Thankfully, over time, I’ve squashed that falsehood, and now I firmly believe that true strength comes from admitting you’re not perfect, putting your ego aside, and using your openness to engage in conversations that aid others. 

Walk me through how you are dealing with it? Are you taking medication, going to the gym, meditation, or seeing a coach?

I’ve got a lot of things that I try to keep in mind to make sure I’m giving myself a good chance to be my best self. 

Firstly, I start every morning by writing in my 5 Minute Journal where I set intentions for the day. I end my day by writing in the same journal. It helps me to project what I want my day to look like, and be grateful at the end of the day. 

I also meditate and do a stretching sequence before hopping in the shower. This ensures that by the time I’m out of the shower, I’m generally in the right headspace to tackle the day. 

I’ve found that exercise is paramount for me. I exercise every day whether that’s yoga, biking, walking, going to the gym, or anything in between. A big problem I had in the past was not knowing what to do with excess energy, which could lead to me partying a bit more or staying out a bit later, so I know now that I’ve got to make sure I’m giving myself a chance to burn energy. 

There’s just no question – If I’m not exercising, I’m more anxious. 

Sleeping well, or at least trying to get a good amount of sleep also makes an enormous difference for me, so that’s something I prioritize. I talk about it on the podcast, but I just don’t get caught up on whether or not I’ve fallen asleep. I focus on rest, relaxation, and giving myself a second to process. 

Things like eating well, not drinking too much, reading every night and so forth also make a big difference. In particular, I try to ensure I’m reading at least a few books at any one time, with some mixture of fiction and nonfiction. Usually, I read about 70-80 books a year. What’s the expression, “books are the quietest and most constant of friends?” 

Finally, I’m not currently taking any medication or going to therapy. I did do some therapy last year, but, for the most part, I’ve built a lot of systems around myself that enable me to be okay, and I’m also fortunate to have people around me looking out for me. In particular, even if I’m not always at my best, but I’m blessed to have a supportive partner who also knows when I’m not at my best and helps me get back up on my feet when I need it. 

I should note here that everyone has their own journey. For some, therapy and medication are absolutely necessary, so I’m not in any way discouraging that. I also don’t think there’s any shame or weakness in that whatsoever. Everyone needs to do what is right of them.

Funny enough, the podcast is sort of serving as therapy for me, as I rehash what I’ve learned over the past decade that has helped me and may help others. It also keeps me mindful of my own mindset and I find I’m more apt at understanding and disentangling my own emotional state. 

What is your goal with the new podcast? Who is your audience? What are you trying to achieve?

Mainly, I want people to know that they’re not alone, and try also to highlight that laughter can be therapeutic. I’m intentionally diving into the sometimes absurd inner workings of my mind to let others know that it’s okay to have unique, if dizzying, thought patterns here and there. 

We haven’t been live long enough for me to have a true grasp on our audience, but, from the feedback I’ve gotten and those who have reached out to me, it appears to be folks who have suffered from anxiety or, at the very least, know someone who has, or are interested in what anxiety is all about. 

I’d like to think almost anybody could tune in, largely because we chat in a pretty humorous tone in the podcast. It could almost be confused with a comedy set if you entered at the wrong time. That being said, the goal of the podcast isn’t to make light of anxiety. It’s to show that you can have anxiety, but still, enjoy your life, and even laugh at yourself here and there. 

Congrats on winning many awards. What is unique and different about you as a travel blogger that you bring to the table? 

Well thanks, firstly. I feel fortunate to have won many awards in the past, and continue to be considered for awards in the present and future. Each one means something to me, trust me. That is something which will never get old to me, so let’s keep them coming, shall we?! 

Joking aside, I am honoured, as there are so many talented travel writers and bloggers out there. 

As far as what’s different about me, it’s a great question. I honestly don’t know. I mean, I’ve read voraciously since I was young, and I took English Lit. in university, so I think I’ve got the writing structure down pat, but I know it’s more than that. It honestly may come down to my intense curiosity. I’m profoundly interested in the places I visit, and perhaps that comes across to readers. 

I’d also like to think that I’m writing to elevate my readers and not alienate them. Nobody wants to know where I’ve been and how much fun I had, they want to see themselves in my adventures, and know that my writing is empowering them to chase their own adventures. In the end, I write for my readers, and not for myself. 

I also adore writing in the strongest sense. Without writing, I don’t think I’d understand myself or this world. I travel physically with planes, but mentally with words. 

Talk to me about a favorite city of yours/ What is it about that city that we should visit and the food scene?

That would have to be Istanbul, my friend. Istanbul, to me, feels like the centre of the world. I lived there for 3 years, and while I was there, I felt like I had my fingers on the pulse of the planet. I was tapped into millennia of history just by walking around the streets and areas of the present day. 

The food scene is on another level as well, especially when it comes to Turkish breakfast. I’ve actually covered exactly how you should tackle Istanbul (including Turkish breakfast) in this article on my site, appropriately called, “Istanbul Travel Tips – Travel Advice for Istanbul From a Former Resident.” 

I also did an episode on the Amateur Traveler podcast! 

That should help folks out fairly well if they’re looking to visit. I’ve been to 80 countries and thousands of towns, villages, and cities at this point and I’ll be blunt – you have not seen the world until you’ve been to Istanbul. 

It is, to me, the greatest city on the planet.

I see you are a romantic guy. Help me understand how marriage has changed you as a person? What surprised you the most? Do you recommend it?

I do try to be romantic or, at the very least, sentimental. I would say that marriage itself hasn’t necessarily changed my life dramatically, but nothing has had a greater impact on my life than my relationship with Bri. 

We’ve been together 10 years and married 2. So, what I’m saying is I don’t think you have to be married to appreciate your partner or be impacted by them, but I did appreciate the ceremonious commitment. 

Our wedding day was just perfect and brought together people from all over the world. 

I’ve just been lucky enough to have found my soulmate, and I think that’s what it’s all about. I would do anything for Bri, and perhaps marriage is one way we can let our partner know just that. 

I want to know something very challenging you have experienced? What did you do to overcome it?

I had a difficult time readjusting to life in Toronto in 2017 after living in Istanbul for three years. Most notably, I came back to Toronto and decided that I wouldn’t be pursuing teaching opportunities, which was made more ironic by the fact that I had just completed my Masters. 

That being said, I had the sense that I had to go in on my own and see what I could do. It’s a stressful thing to bet all your chips on something, but it’s also invigorating. Though, in retrospect, it was often a fine line between stress and excitement.

I began by growing out of the travelingmitch brand, especially on Twitter where I found a big audience for one reason or another. I began to go to conferences left, right, and center, and I became hungry to both learn and grow. 

Not long after that, I co-founded the Toronto Bloggers Collective because I decided that I couldn’t quite find the community I was looking for in Toronto, so it was time to create it. As you well know, that decision has had a huge positive impact on my life, and I hope it’s positively impacted folks like yourself and other members. 

Then, I started Ultimate Ontario to showcase what was going on in the province alongside Kev from the Toronto Bloggers Collective. As you can see, it was all about keeping moving for me. 

I also founded two podcasts and had my hands in a number of other projects. 

I put myself in a sink or swim scenario and thankfully I learned that I can indeed swim, which is a lesson I’m carrying with me even now. 

When this pandemic hit, it’s not a shock that I started the new podcast on anxiety because my reaction to struggle now is thinking about what I can create to solve problems for others. It gives me a sense of purpose. 

Finally, I want you to give three tips to a new blogger?

I’ll keep it simple. 

Be curious. Be patient. Be bold.

The post Chris Mitchell talks about anxiety appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

Hannah is a European based New Zealand blogger, whose mission is to help you live compassionately. Hannah contacted bloggers from around the world who focus on inspiring and empowering people on how to stay productive when you’re stuck at home. I wrote a piece on stick to your schedule.

The post Stick To Your Schedule appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.