Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions. – Dalai Lama XIV

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. – Benjamin Franklin

Introduction

Philosophers, scientists, and intellectuals have agonized over the years as to what happiness is. On a personal basis, happiness is not being high all the time or feeling ecstatic, being rich, or sitting on a yacht in Cannes.

When my daughter was young, we would go on long drives, and every few minutes she would ask, “Are we there yet?” Happiness is not the final destination.

In my opinion, happiness is being satisfied with where you are in life.

The pursuit of happiness is a goal for a lot of people. From my perspective and life experiences, here are some secrets to achieving happiness and contentment in life.

Never compare yourself to anyone

Our five fingers are not the same. Each snowflake is individual and unique. Every human being is unique and rare. All human beings have strengths, weaknesses, and gifts. Therefore, it is no use comparing your status, wealth, titles, education, or achievements. Each individual has their own story and challenges. Life does not flow the way we want.

Accept life is unfair

The sun shines on everyone. Good things happen to bad people. Bad things happen to good people. That is life. Never fight it. Above all, we are all on this boat called life. On the sea, there will be good days; there will be weeks of high waves rocking you and there could be a hurricane. Life throws all kinds of things at you which can seem unfair at times, for instance.

Practice gratitude daily

I went to a private British boarding school then went to university in Switzerland and now live in Canada. The truth is until I met Debbie I did not know how to spell gratitude. Gratitude is a choice. A person who is grateful appreciates that there is value in something which is extrinsic, cannot put a monetary value to it, and is free. Over the last ten years, I start my day by being grateful to be alive, in good health, Debbie, Jean, my parents, amazing friends, and a great life. In other words, it has changed me and I am not the same person that I was a decade ago.

Forgive daily

This is my biggest weakness. However, if you want to be in any form of a relationship as a father, husband, son, friend, or mentor, you have to forgive. Forgiveness is letting go of the past. It is about setting boundaries. We cannot have resentments or want compensation for the loss or hurt caused by others. Forgiveness is not letting people take advantage of you, ignoring the offense, or condoning it. This is a work in progress for me. I have not mastered forgiveness completely.

It is critical to living our lives in love, peace, being patient, kind, gentle, and having compassion. I am by nature impatient. I have a long way to go in being compassionate.

Volunteer and give to charity

Research has shown that giving to charity and volunteering activates the pleasure centers in the brain. When we volunteer our time to an organization it makes us realize how lucky we are. I remember volunteering in the Out of the Cold Program. It really made me realize how lucky I was to have a roof over my head. When I give to charity, it makes me realize, I am making a difference. It gives meaning to my life. Try it. You never know if happiness awaits you.

Do not have unrealistic expectations

If you want to destroy your relationship with your parents, brother, sister, wife, children, and co-workers then you can do it by having unrealistic expectations. Unrealistic expectations are unhealthy because it sets others and us for failure. It is assuming a level of control that we do not have in a situation.

I am a recovering perfectionist. Over the last five years, this is something I have grown the most. It has allowed me to be free. I am less demanding, less judgmental, more empathetic, and loving.

Deal with issues in life

I am a big believer in living a balanced life. The physical, mental, emotional, financial, and psychological self must all be in harmony. We must accept our brokenness. We must be humble and realize we are no better. We all have issues we need to deal with. It could be our ego, insecurities, anger, impatience, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, and other issues. We need to face them and deal with them. The more I understand my own brokenness and am in touch with it on a daily basis; it makes me a better human being.

Connect with your family and friends often

Humans are meant to connect. We are meant for relationships. We thrive when we are in healthy relationships. Research has shown that those people who have supportive friends and family tend to be less anxious and depressed.

Over the last 18 months, I have lost four close friends. It has been tough and challenging. However, it is my ecosystem of relationships that have sustained me through this tough time.

Focus on goals

It is important to have goals in every area of your life. Every year I write down my goals. It could be a simple thing like I need to read more books. Goals keep us focused.

Try new things and pursue your passion

Before I met Debbie, I had never gone on an all-inclusive. I just never saw myself as just lying on the beach. I have gone on more than ten beach vacations all over the Caribbean. It has opened up my mind. I have also decided to pursue my passion for becoming a writer. It excites me. I have all these topics that I want to write about. I am focused and passionate about making this a full-time job.

It is important to understand that happiness should not be the goal. It is the byproduct of my doing all the things on a consistent basis. There are times when I have failed miserably. There are times; I have wanted to give up. But I just bounce back the next day.

Good luck and write back to me as to how some of these points have helped you to achieve contentment and happiness in your life.

The post 10 Secrets to Happiness appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

In a world where many people define success by titles and achievements, Dr. Cristina “Crickette” Inserto reminds us that true fulfillment comes from serving others with love and purpose. A passionate dentist based in Manila, Philippines, Crickette’s story is one of faith, resilience, and joy. She’s not only a skilled dental professional but also a writer and Christian missionary, using her gifts to touch lives both in and beyond the dental chair.

I recently had the pleasure of catching up with Crickette to talk about life, faith, dental health, and finding balance in a busy world. With her infectious humor, honesty, and deep love for God, she opens up about her journey—from her early days in dentistry to the challenges that shaped her heart and her mission.

Join me as we dive into this inspiring conversation with a woman who proves that a beautiful smile begins with a beautiful soul.

Crickette, I love your name. It is unique. Please tell my audience something important about you.

My real name is Cristina, but I was nicknamed Crickette by my parents, who thought I was too talkative (and noisy), especially at night. If you’ve ever been in a place with crickets, you’ll know they’re pretty loud at night. Anyway, I’ve been a dentist since 2007, and in between my practice, I work as a freelance writer and a Christian missionary. In 2016, God brought me to the mission field, and I realized then that I was made a dentist serving the last, the least, and the lost. To be a channel of God’s love, so that they may get to know him, as I do. Because I sincerely love the Lord.

When did you decide you want to become a dentist? What do you like about it?

I decided I wanted to be a dentist when I was in high school because although I loved all my English classes, I was pretty good at my Science subjects too. At that time, my uncle was starting to be a dentist, and I realized I wanted his life. I was fascinated with the work, but mostly I enjoyed the freedom.

As early as Dentistry school, I already knew I’d made the right choice to pursue Dentistry. I breezed through school as if I was born to do it, and now that I am in private practice, I love the work that I do–and the freedom that comes with it. I love that my work allows me to be travel as a missionary, and do other things I love (such as writing).

I floss daily and brush twice a day. Any other advice for my teeth?

I guess to answer that I’ll have to ask how many fillings you got the last time you visited your dentist? Ha ha. If you are cavity-free then your efforts to keep your smile beautiful and healthy, are working.

The most important advice as a dentist would be to make sure you see your dentist twice a year or every six months because what you see in the mirror is not the whole picture. Also, drink lots of water. Dry mouth causes bacteria to populate and just so you know, our saliva is meant to be a natural cleanser–so hydrate!

I love your blog. How did it come about? Who is your audience? Do you find writing cathartic and a stress reliever from being a dentist?

First of all, thanks. “Things I Have to Say” is not my first blog, actually. I opened my first blog in 2004 but that was more of a Doogie Howser online journal of juvenile concerns. In 2008, I opened “The Drama Queen Can Tell Stories” and I’ve made a comfortable place for myself there for over a decade until I realized it was time for me to take on a new voice.

I was no longer a drama queen, and my stories have changed. Many times, I tried to abandon blogging altogether, but writing is sustenance to me. Ever since I discovered my love for writing, I have needed it like my body needs food.

You write a lot about life…the good…the bad.  I believe no matter what happens, we must see the positive in life.. pls comment?

I wasn’t as bold and honest in my old blog. If ever, my honesty would be masked and filtered. But I realized that my life (along with the hurt and pain) is part of my story. So yes, I write about life, the good and the bad, because no one’s life is PERFECT and mine sure is not. I have learned that acknowledging the bad helps you heal and keeps you resilient. Also, I want to let people know that it’s okay to have bad things in life happen sometimes… and hopefully, they can relate to my stories.

As we get older life happens. Help me understand something challenging you have been through and what have you learned from that situation?

Well, I’ve had my share of challenges. In 2011 I married my long-time boyfriend and a year after, we separated. A real telenovela, my dramatic life can rival great sob stories, but thankfully my tears have dried. That mistake taught me so much, but mostly it was a real lesson on patience. I pushed marrying a man I knew wasn’t right for me, because I felt I was running out of time and I was so intent on maneuvering my life towards an ending I believed was best. Nowadays, I have learned the beauty of surrendering to the Lord, so I don’t worry anymore.

I know you like to talk about food. Name me some good food for the teeth and some that are bad?

Do I? Anyway, I’ll just talk about the BAD and that’s sweets. But really, I tell my patients that sweets aren’t so bad, as long as they brush their teeth after every meal. That’s the truth.

Talk to me about the city you live in, the food scene, famous dishes, and its amazing restaurants?

I’ve lived in Metro Manila most of my life, apart from the two years, when we moved to London. Manila can be so toxic, especially with the traffic, but I love how it’s got everything you need. Philippine food is really a mix of many cuisines, but if you’re going to visit I will definitely make you try street food and I will force-feed you with balut (just Google what it is).

Name me some books you are reading, what are you learning from it and how important is reading for us?

I’m about to finish this book by Sophie Kinsella called, “I Owe You One” and I really love light and easy-reads. Reading was my first love. It was through books that I realized my love for writing. I don’t get to read a lot nowadays, but I always have a book on my bedside table.

God… who is he and how does God make a difference in our lives?

God is my Lord and Savior. He is the author of my life and the captain of my ship. I grew up a Christian, and I always thought I understood what God’s presence in my life really meant, but when I finally grasped the depth of it, my life took breathed a new meaning.

You lead a busy life as a dentist. How do you balance food, faith, finance and family and give my audience some advice on the above.

I’m a brilliant multi-tasker–just kidding. Sometimes I feel I have too much on my plate. But I guess I’m able to manage it all. I am a dentist when I put my white coat on and I see a patient, but all the rest of the time, I have my laptop opened in front of me. Some days, I pack my bags to go to the mountains, and in between all of that, I’m on NETFLIX and AMAZON PRIME. My sisters and I are very close, and they’re my best friends. I think, their presence in my life sets a perfect equilibrium.

The post Crickette Inserto: Dentist Extraordinaire appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.

I hate Valentine’s Day. The pressure to buy roses, chocolates, a card, go out for dinner, or cook a romantic meal, with wine, sensual music, and rose petals scattered all over the home to get into the mood…. Ok, wake up reality is here. Busy lives, busy careers, kids’ events, aging parents, and the stress of life is a romance killer.

A new relationship is frantic, enchanting, and electrifying. You do all these amazing romantic gestures towards one another, giddy with excitement, thrilled to know you have found an amazing person that loves you unconditionally and makes you feel special and alive.

However, as time passes by, everything becomes routine and boring. You are in the comfortable stage of a relationship. Therefore, you have to put an effort to keep the excitement going. You do not want to pull away from one another but rather be close. Here are some tips to keep the romance alive in your relationship.

Romance needs gratitude to thrive

In a relationship, taking each other for granted is the poison. Gratitude is the antidote. Gratitude helps you to hold on to your partner and be more romantic. Be grateful you have a partner in your life.

Patience does wonders for romance

We are a generation that was raised on fast food, drive-throughs, upgrading our cell phone and changing a car every few years. Sometimes we bring that same mentality into our relationship. Things are not working; I am too busy and on and on we go. Relax be patient and see how romance can bloom.

Gentleness means you need to practice humility

Try to be kind to your partner. Consider him better. Maybe you do not have to be right all the time, just to win an argument. Be kind and love unconditionally.

Romance loves a sense of humor

Have a funny name for one another. Crack a joke. The use of positive humor is good for intimacy.

Romance thrives on surprises

Do something different this week. If your spouse does the grocery shopping, you do it this week. Do chores around the home as your partner will appreciate it and romance will thrive.

Do things separately for romance to flourish

It is important to do things together. It is critical that you pursue hobbies and interests individually. This will give you topics to talk about.

Focus on the positive in your partner

Is your partner good at something? Tell him. If she is excelling at her job, let her know that. As you focus on the positive qualities of your partner, it will remind you of why you fell in love in the first place. You have the chance daily from morning until night to offer words of admiration, tribute, and affirmation that is valuable.

Buy gifts for one another

Put some thought into this and buy something personal. If your partner likes art and to paint, go and buy him some brushes and paint. This shows you have been thinking about him.

Romance adores compliments and appreciation

After a while, we can take our partner for granted. If she looks beautiful. Tell her. Run your hand through her hair. Kiss her and give her a compliment. We humans need to stay connected and love praise and positive feedback.

Send this post to them

This will send a message that this is what you want them to know and who knows you will get more love than you ever got.

Leave notes in a sticky

Leave a love note on the fridge, in the bedroom, a card or a voice mail. Let your partner know you love them, you care for them, they are awesome and you will be there for them no matter what.  Or just send a nice romantic text to them.

Spend time together

Life is fast-paced and everyone wants our attention. Never make your relationship a low priority. You have to feed it, nourish it for it to grow. The only way to do it is to spend quality time together.

Plan romantic getaways

Once in a while go for a massage together, spend the weekend at a bed and breakfast or just go out for a lovely meal. It allows you to get away and focus on each other and your needs.

Talk daily

You connect when you talk. Talk about your day, what is going on, what is bothering you and what you want from each other for this relationship to grow.

Forgive often

The number one killer of romance is resentment and lack of forgiveness. It builds a wall. Forgive daily. We hurt the people that we love the most. As a couple, it is natural that you will hurt each other daily and very often.

Binge on the weekend

Pick a weekend and plan to do nothing except watch romantic movies on TV. You will feel refreshed, revitalized and closer.

Touch often and be intimate

Intimacy and touch are vital for a long term healthy relationship. Intimacy is nurturing, connecting, being vulnerable, real and communicating your deep desires and issues.

Be positive

Your partner is not perfect. Every human has annoying habits that drive their partner nuts. Never be quick to criticize. Always try to understand where the other person is coming from. Look at every situation from a positive perspective.

Stop pursuing perfection

The number one destroyer of relationships is perfection. Nothing is perfect. Accept the imperfections in life and in your partner.

Let go of unrealistic expectations

Take all your unrealistic expectations that you brought into the relationship and put it in a box. Never ever open it again. He will never complete you. No one ever lives happily ever after. Life happens.

The secret of romance is to give

The people who give the most are the happiest. The secret to living, where romance is thriving is giving. Give it to your partner and make her your number one priority. Go out of your way to make sure she feels secure, loved and wanted.

Kiss passionately

Forget the peck. Forget the short smooch. Make every kiss count with love and passion.

Be naughty

Go for a walk in your neighborhood. Look for spots where you can have a passionate kiss.

The post Maintain the Romance in Your Relationship With These 23 Tips appeared first on Four Columns of a Balanced Life.