Maintain the Romance in Your Relationship With These 23 Tips
I hate Valentine’s Day. The pressure to buy roses, chocolates, a card, go out for dinner, or cook a romantic meal, with wine, sensual music, and rose petals scattered all over the home to get into the mood…. Ok, wake up reality is here. Busy lives, busy careers, kids’ events, aging parents, and the stress of life is a romance killer.
A new relationship is frantic, enchanting, and electrifying. You do all these amazing romantic gestures towards one another, giddy with excitement, thrilled to know you have found an amazing person that loves you unconditionally and makes you feel special and alive.
However, as time passes by, everything becomes routine and boring. You are in the comfortable stage of a relationship. Therefore, you have to put an effort to keep the excitement going. You do not want to pull away from one another but rather be close. Here are some tips to keep the romance alive in your relationship.
Romance needs gratitude to thrive
In a relationship, taking each other for granted is the poison. Gratitude is the antidote. Gratitude helps you to hold on to your partner and be more romantic. Be grateful you have a partner in your life.
Patience does wonders for romance
We are a generation that was raised on fast food, drive-throughs, upgrading our cell phone and changing a car every few years. Sometimes we bring that same mentality into our relationship. Things are not working; I am too busy and on and on we go. Relax be patient and see how romance can bloom.
Gentleness means you need to practice humility
Try to be kind to your partner. Consider him better. Maybe you do not have to be right all the time, just to win an argument. Be kind and love unconditionally.
Romance loves a sense of humor
Have a funny name for one another. Crack a joke. The use of positive humor is good for intimacy.
Romance thrives on surprises
Do something different this week. If your spouse does the grocery shopping, you do it this week. Do chores around the home as your partner will appreciate it and romance will thrive.
Do things separately for romance to flourish
It is important to do things together. It is critical that you pursue hobbies and interests individually. This will give you topics to talk about.
Focus on the positive in your partner
Is your partner good at something? Tell him. If she is excelling at her job, let her know that. As you focus on the positive qualities of your partner, it will remind you of why you fell in love in the first place. You have the chance daily from morning until night to offer words of admiration, tribute, and affirmation that is valuable.
Buy gifts for one another
Put some thought into this and buy something personal. If your partner likes art and to paint, go and buy him some brushes and paint. This shows you have been thinking about him.
Romance adores compliments and appreciation
After a while, we can take our partner for granted. If she looks beautiful. Tell her. Run your hand through her hair. Kiss her and give her a compliment. We humans need to stay connected and love praise and positive feedback.
Send this post to them
This will send a message that this is what you want them to know and who knows you will get more love than you ever got.
Leave notes in a sticky
Leave a love note on the fridge, in the bedroom, a card or a voice mail. Let your partner know you love them, you care for them, they are awesome and you will be there for them no matter what. Or just send a nice romantic text to them.
Spend time together
Life is fast-paced and everyone wants our attention. Never make your relationship a low priority. You have to feed it, nourish it for it to grow. The only way to do it is to spend quality time together.
Plan romantic getaways
Once in a while go for a massage together, spend the weekend at a bed and breakfast or just go out for a lovely meal. It allows you to get away and focus on each other and your needs.
Talk daily
You connect when you talk. Talk about your day, what is going on, what is bothering you and what you want from each other for this relationship to grow.
Forgive often
The number one killer of romance is resentment and lack of forgiveness. It builds a wall. Forgive daily. We hurt the people that we love the most. As a couple, it is natural that you will hurt each other daily and very often.
Binge on the weekend
Pick a weekend and plan to do nothing except watch romantic movies on TV. You will feel refreshed, revitalized and closer.
Touch often and be intimate
Intimacy and touch are vital for a long term healthy relationship. Intimacy is nurturing, connecting, being vulnerable, real and communicating your deep desires and issues.
Be positive
Your partner is not perfect. Every human has annoying habits that drive their partner nuts. Never be quick to criticize. Always try to understand where the other person is coming from. Look at every situation from a positive perspective.
Stop pursuing perfection
The number one destroyer of relationships is perfection. Nothing is perfect. Accept the imperfections in life and in your partner.
Let go of unrealistic expectations
Take all your unrealistic expectations that you brought into the relationship and put it in a box. Never ever open it again. He will never complete you. No one ever lives happily ever after. Life happens.
The secret of romance is to give
The people who give the most are the happiest. The secret to living, where romance is thriving is giving. Give it to your partner and make her your number one priority. Go out of your way to make sure she feels secure, loved and wanted.
Kiss passionately
Forget the peck. Forget the short smooch. Make every kiss count with love and passion.
Be naughty
Go for a walk in your neighborhood. Look for spots where you can have a passionate kiss.
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Surprising each other with random gifts always made more sense than Valentine (or birthday, Christmas etc.) presents. Of course those are cute, but random ones are the best and sweetest! Weekends gateaways and that time for just you two (if you have kids) are a must in a relationship I think. And above all, communication and respect 🙂
My wife and I have been married for 25 years and we are both not big Valentines Day people as we feel like you should feel this way about each other all year long and not just one day of the year. We always try to practice kindness and humility towards each other daily. I can honestly say we don’t really have fights like other couples I know. The challenge for us is to get time together based on work schedules, shuttling kids to dance and friends houses and life in general. We try to schedule at least a date night once a week or at least once every two weeks to either just grab dinner or a movie just us and try to get away once a quarter for a weekend. It helps us to reconnect. Great post and a perfect time for it.
This is a great list. I think it is really important to keep the humor alive, and to just connect on a daily basis. Just doing little things for your partner can really make a big impact. Making sure to express your love for one another, and making sure that you create a sense of togetherness is really important. My husband, and I just celebrated our 17th wedding anniversary. Thank you for sharing this post.
We never celebrate Valentine’s Day – we have a date night every week! I love the idea of leaving notes for each other – ones that don’t say ‘feed the cat’!
Great post. I think people often overlook the power of the little things in life. I remember when I was first making the transition to working from home, I took a HUGE pay cut leaving my corporate job and that took a toll on me – I had gone from being the breadwinner in the house to being dependent on my husband and that was really hard to swallow for someone who is so independent. Picking up on the fact I was struggling, my husband surprised me approximately 3 days in a row, leaving a small note inside my laptop for me to find when I opened it up that morning to start my work. I still have those letters and read them when I’m having a rough day.
These are some great tips for keeping the romance alive. I think spontaneous gifts and heartfelt gestures are so much more meaningful than exchanging gifts on Valentine’s Day.
Aweee I love this post more than I can even explain!
You have perfectly described the foundation and building blocks to a happy relationship. I’ve always thought that Valentines Day is a silly holiday because why should our relationships only be focused on one day out of the year?! That doesn’t seem right!
I love that you have not only talked about things like intimacy and buying each other special gifts, but also how romance and relationships thrive off of spouses having their own goals and ideals rather than only focusing on each other. There are so many small attributes that foster a happy and romantic relationship and you have done a wonderful job outlining them! Thanks for sharing this wonderful article!
Focusing on your partner’s positive and being patient is so important. I make sure I remember that I am not perfect to be so judgemental.
What a lovely article. “The secret to romance is to give” is definitely a great piece of advice, as is “patience does wonders”, I’ll keep these words in my mind.
I see myself giggling and nodding to this post. There’s no truth better than this. Thank you for sharing!
Theses are great things to remember to rekindle that spark and show our loved ones how we feel. We often forget that it’s the simplest things that make the biggest difference. It’s so important to spend quality time together – not talk about work or home but just be together, appreciate each others company.
I am currently mad at my husband, so this was kind of a perfect post to read, as it reset my thoughts into a much more positive direction. Which I appreciate, because it can be extremely easy to focus on the negatives.
Great article and perfect to remind every couple on how to refresh their relationship.
Romantic relationship is so easy to maintain at first but in time it becomes harder and harder. we try sharing what we love doing together and spend time next to each other even if we have to schedule it, hehe
This makes me want to fall in love again. They are all true. I think the society have a way to destroy relationships quite quickly. It really is difficult to keep a relationship going, so that is why it’s important to keep the love alive in a relationship.
I find personally find it very hard to keep the romance alive when i’m in a relationship. Life can be so hectic. Although that is not an excuse but i really do find it hard. So I am sure this will help strong independent women like me.
This is such a great list, I really enjoyed reading your ideas. With such busy lives, romance can sometimes be forgotten but its such an important part of life and one that can be done so easily.
This is great! Life really does get in the way. That’s for this reminder just how important my husband is to me!
Valentines Day is one of the most commercialized holidays; its all about 💰. You shared some grwat point. Romance is fueled by surprices. But great frequent sex is the cement to the steel of every relationship.
This is such a good list of ways to keep the romance alive. Marriage takes work because relationships of all kinds take work. My husband and I have to keep having fun together and remembering why we fell in love in the first place. And we want our kids to see us enjoying each other as well.
It is so easy to get comfortable in a relationship and stop doing things to keep the romance alive. I know my husband and I have been guilty of this over the years, but we usually figure it out and get back on track. I think being grateful for one another and expressing that gratitude is so important and I love the idea of leaving notes or messages to express your love. Thank you for these wonderful ideas! They are a great reminder of what is really important.
Lovely article, one can relate to each and every point. Few of them are very important to remember like expect less or not to have unrealistic expectations and not to be taken for granted.
My husband and I have been married for 14 years. I love your list of suggestions. So many great ways to keep the romance alive. Thank you.
You hit the nail on the head with this post—all great suggestions. I love the idea of being naughty; it keeps things fun.