Thrive by taking responsibility
Thrive by taking responsibility is what this post is all about.
I had not spoken to a cousin that I grew up with for quite a while. We were living in different countries and life got in the way.
We connected on WhatsApp and over the next three days, my cousin blamed the whole world for her issues. Therefore, I gave up trying to convince my cousin to take personal responsibility.
I have mentored a lot of people in the corporate world. One of the people I was mentoring was getting fired a lot. He kept on blaming his bosses. As a result, I just asked him one question. What is the common factor? After that, I wanted to convince him that he needed to have a sense of responsibility.
I got a call from a very good friend who was splitting up after two decades of marriage. Not once did my friend take responsibility. It was always the fault of the other spouse.
The reason, I say to take responsibility for your life is because it empowers you and you thrive moving from a victim to a champ. As a result, you are in the driver’s seat and deal with the challenges of life.
I am focusing on embracing responsibility because it is the bedrock for success and happiness in all areas of your life. For instance, you cannot shift the blame, make excuses, find a scapegoat, or allow yourself to be blown by the wind. Thrive in every area of your life by taking responsibility.
Responsibility Quotes
The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs – Joan Didion
When you blame others, you give up your power to change – Unknown
It is a painful thing to look at your own trouble and know that you yourself and no one else has made it – Sophocles
Stop Whining and Grumbling
I have yet to meet a person who likes hanging around people who whine and grumble about everything. In other words, when you do that, you cannot accept the present situation and deal with it. Therefore, whining is being a victim and saying I do not have a choice. Similarly, you are focusing on things going wrong around you and not focusing on the big picture of the forest. In conclusion, if you deal with the situation, you will not whine about it. Do not ask the question of why me? How about what now? What can I learn from this situation?
I had liked a girl for more than a decade. Similarly, it was really like a Forrest Gump syndrome. She dated a few friends of mine. During Christmas 1999, she was in town and we had dinner with my parents and her parents. She finally said she wanted to date me. I was super excited. She flies back to the city where she was working and calls me at midnight and says she does not see this working out.
In 2000, I just started dating other women, met Debbie, and have been married for 17 years.
Stop Pointing Fingers
The moment you point fingers at your family, the way your parents raised you, your partner, or the economy for your situation, you are back in victim mode. Walk away and say to yourself, how did I play a part in this?
I have an undergrad in hospitality. I wanted to make a career in managing money. As I continued to work, I went back to night school, got a business degree, and did many courses that helped me make a career in trading and managing money.
Stop Making Excuses
The time is now to stop making excuses. In addition, it is stale, stuffy, and stodgy. You cannot make excuses for poor choices in life, accomplishments, and failure. This kind of behavior leads to negative thinking and negative behavior. As a result, friends, family, and acquaintances will drop you.
Learn from failure, poor choices, and try not to repeat them. If you make excuses, you will continue to go down a beaten path in your personal and professional life. It will sap you of your energy and strength. You are also not giving yourself space to learn from your mistakes. You need to give yourself room to grow by having a sense of moral and personal responsibility
You have to think positive. Similarly, it is vital to stop the negative thoughts in your mind and focus on the positive that is happening in your life. This frees you up. If you dwell on negativity, it leads to physical symptoms that are not healthy.
The next time you speak, listen to yourself. If you are blaming others for your job, your salary, your spouse or goals, become aware of these negative patterns and work on stopping it right away. If friends, family or colleagues are offering feedback on your behavior, be open to listening to them, because they are around you.
I have to work on being positive daily. After a career in wealth management, I had to stop focusing on my MBA and other achievements. I had to sit down and write down stuff that I needed to change and embrace the new economy. I went back to the restaurant business and started this blog.
How To Take Responsibility
What is responsibility? How does one take personal responsibility? What does it mean to have a sense of responsibility?
You have to take responsibility for your reactions, actions, words from your mouth, social media exchanges, feelings, and thoughts. The life around you is created by you from the above actions. You have to realize no one is controlling you. No one can force you to react, say something, do something, or do anything. It is within your power how you respond to the environment around you.
Take Control
I am a super sensitive person. However, I am getting better and learning that not everything is about me. If someone cuts you on the highway, it is more about what is going on in their life and not mine. A hurting person is always out to hurt other people. I have to take control of how I respond to everything happening around me. I cannot control how other people respond.
Happiness
We focus on happiness and forget about joy. The world, children, friends, work, colleagues, parents, and spouse are not responsible to make you happy. It is a daily decision that comes from within and a life filled with forgiveness, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, compassion, and gratitude.
Go on a walk, connect with nature, write down what you are grateful for, spend time with loved ones, listen to music that uplifts your soul, and become creative.
Do not focus on the past or the future but the present.
There is nothing we can do about the past. We can learn from it. We do not know what tomorrow brings. So, relish the present. It is called a present or a gift for a reason. Embrace it and use it to the full extent.
Become Intentional
In life you have choices. Become intentional in having a great fulfilling career, amazing spouse, amazing health, amazing neighborhood. Become the change that is needed. Have a mission and vision statement for your life. It will come alive.
Breathe deeply
If issues come in life, take a deep breath. Calm yourself down. Look at confidence-building measures that empower you to respond positively.
Love Unconditionally
Be very careful about how you judge other people. Are you using a different measure than how you measure yourself? People are broken. Some hide it better. Do not label anyone. Give people the benefit of doubt. I have yet to meet a fully secure person. People do, say and act weird because of their insecurities.
Listen
Ask my daughter what is my biggest weakness? She will say I am a lousy listener. I love talking. I can talk for hours. I like to be a selective listener and like to respond right away. I need to understand what my daughter is saying.
Apologize
We have hurt people. Just admit it. We may have bullied people in school. We may have said some hurtful things. We may have stolen. The list goes on. Go ahead and say sorry. You are taking responsibility for your actions.
Taking responsibility for your actions also means patting yourself on the back for a great job done, getting a promotion, doing well in school, or just succeeding in life.
I talked about that taking responsibility empowers you and lets you thrive in life. You can choose to be positive or guilty. The choice is yours. The positive mindset is not reactive but proactive. Therefore, it is a sign of maturity, respect for everyone around you.
I challenge you to take responsibility for every area of your life. Accept your humanity, brokenness, imperfection, and embrace taking responsibility.
Go for a win-win situation and empower yourself to live a positive, fruitful, valuable, and satisfying life.
Write to me or comment as to how taking responsibility has changed your life.
Photo Credits: Gerd Altmann Adi Goldstein Gabriel Matula Isaiah Rustad George Gvasalia STIL Sharon McCutcheon Aiony Haust Felix Koutchinski
It’s these small steps of taking responsibility and figuring out what’s worth fighting for and what’s worth keeping that determine us as mature adults.
Wow! This is such a great post! Thank you for sharing!😊
Yes! Don’t just let life happen to you. Make your own life!
No one else but us can help us set and achieve our goals in life. And to do that we need to take control & take responsibility of our life. Completely agree with your thoughts
This has become a world of pointing fingers at the next person and never taking responsibility or owning up to your mistakes. We all must learn to take responsibility for our actions and then move on and hopefully be forgiven. Very good post. Thank you!
I constantly have to remind myself that I cannot control a lot of circumstances but I can control how I react to them. That’s made a huge difference in my life.
If we are not accepting our responsibilities we have a long way to go.
Love this positive post – full to the brim with many great points 🙂
I liked the quotes you included in this post — lots of points to consider here
Excellent post. We probably all have a bad habit of pointing fingers at other people, rather than accepting we could be at fault and trying to solve the problem by changing. I really love this.
Um..honest confession: I do have quite hard time in accepting my mistakes. Slowly I am learning to improve and become a better person. 😊
Very good points! I think that the biggest issue is probably that most people do not even realise they are pointing the finger at someone else! So if they don’t realise, how can they change? The most important step is the awareness that we are blaming others.
I think as we get older, we need to become self-aware. I do not expect self-awareness from a 15-year-old. I do expect it from a 30-year-old.
Thank you for this amazing post! Taking responsibility for yourself and the direction of your life is wonderful advice we can all learn from. I too, become frustrated when others complain about situations they have complete control over and am awed by those that embrace and live graciously through events, such as illness or death, that they have no control over.
well written article. I definitely am getting better at taking responsibility for my life. stress from everyday life is impacting my health.
I’ll re-read this article in the future
This is a great post. Too many people fall into the trap of believing their happiness and success are out of their hands, left to fate. Instead, we have the power to make our dreams a reality, but only if we stand up and make it happen.
It’s refreshing to see someone that isn’t promoting victimhood these days! Love it! On a similar topic, I highly recommend Jordan Peterson’s book, 12 Rules of Life!
I have always learnt that choosing your battles make life more easier for you in the long run. Accepting responsibilities leads to accountability and eventually leads to self development.
WOW!
The blog has just touched my soul..
so motivating …
i was actually suffering from some depression.
Had so much overthinking…but as i have read this entirely, feeling better.
I read the entire blog and definitely gonna read it again and again whenever i will some motivation…
Thanks for sharing this such a motivational blog…
Taking responsibility is a great act. I think it needs courage and could be built upon smaller deeds.
Blaming others is easy. Taking a good, hard look at yourself and the role you played in the situation is hard. It might make you feel icky. You may even have to apologize and no one likes that. But you’re absolutely right — if you want to be in control of your life, you have to realize that you are, indeed, in control. Of both the good and the bad.
Great post! People often blame others for their actions and do not introspect and take responsibility for their choices.
I love that you provide solutions and tips on how to be more responsible. Really good article. Thank you for sharing.
This is an amazing post. Thank you. Taking responsibility is a big thing. Especially in the world we live in where entitlement is a big part of every day life. This was a great post to read and a much needed reminder.
Great read for everyone. Move forward and take control of yourself and your happiness! Happy Spring, Kippi #kippiathome
I very much agree with your message about taking responsibility. Taking responsibility for my life, thoughts, feelings, choices, behaviour has been a life-long motivation for me- since my teens. I credit this with having helped me deal with a lot of struggles. I also used to get incredibly frustrated with people who I perceived didn’t take responsibility. I’ve gained a lot of understanding about the complexity of people which helps explain to me why a lot of people struggle to do this or even recognise they’re not or that it’s possible. I’ve had to take my own responsibility for my respect and compassion in my reactions to them, and my boundaries if necessary so I can let them be without having my needs affected. It’s tough stuff learning how to take responsibility for ourselves and what that means in action. Very difficult for people who associate, as our culture promotes, high shame with normal human feelings, thoughts and behaviour. Obviously not impossible, though, just incredibly complex.
A lot of great perspectives put together beautifully in this post. Love the positive outlook! It is so wise to take responsibility and to move on rather than to dwell in the past and blame others for your failures and mistakes!
You nailed it. Taking responsibility THUS empower you. People think of things that went wrong as weaknesses but the truth is we could all learn from something. When we take responsibility about something, we just show that have the courage to face the consequences of our actions. Great article!
I love this. Taking responsibility for your life and happiness is the hallmark of attaining true adulthood.
starting to read a lot of self-help blogs and blog posts like yours. what is great about what you wrote is that it really focuses on taking control of your actions. not dwelling too long on the negative, and just focusing on moving forward.
this is good and well versed
We ourselves give right to others to disturb our mental peace. Because it’s we who can change our life and noone else can do it for us. Very positive blog post!! Loved reading!!
It is so easy to shrink from responsibility. I think apologizing is especially important!
This is such a good article, thanks for sharing it. I totally agree with everything that you said. That’s being positive and pro-active. Love it!
I clicked thru on one of your pins and so glad I did. I love this article. Well written!
Great post. These tips are really useful! Thanks for sharing.
It is so easy to blame others for out shortcomings instead of taking responsibility. We have all had our struggles growing up and facing the world. But for how long will we go on pointing fingers?
What some people don’t realise is that forgiveness is not always for the other person, it is also for your own peace of mind.
Thanks for an insightful and helpful post.
Great advice, for both reflection and empowerment! I think I will even share it with my kids. Sometime’s it hard to find words to describe all of these emotions, but you definitely nailed it!
Working so hard on being intentional.
Thanks for the inspiring post! I do agree that we have to take responsibility for our life and stop making excuses or blaming others for where we are in. That is the first step to succeeding!
This is a wonderful post of positivity but yet thought-provoking content. We all should recognize to take responsibiity for choosing how to feel. Joy is a wonderful feeling to have in our lives and is directly connected into happiness. Thanks for sharing.
Such a great post! We really do need to stop making excuses!
I feel like in order to do this, though, we need to be our own best friends. We do need to be able to soothe ourselves. That doesn’t mean doing anything reckless – just how we speak to each other in our minds so we can come to a place where we can accept responsibility and grow in all areas. This is how we forgive ourselves when we fail.
Such an awesome post! And I agree completely!
I agree with you so much! It’s so easy to point fingers and blame the circumstances around us instead of taking responsibility for what is happening. Thank you so much for this post!
What a beautiful and powerful post. Thank you for encouraging us not only to take responsibility, but also showing us practical steps on how to do it. It’s not an easy thing to do, but in the end it is always rewarding and worth the (sometimes painful) effort.
Very informative, practical and inspiring posts. I really like how you highlighted the benefits of taking responsibility such as happiness etc. Well written. Thank you!
I talk about this all the time! Personal accountability is SO IMPORTANT! You’ll never get anything accomplished if you never take responsibility for yourself. Great points!
This is such an important topic! Taking responsibility for actions and behaviors is critical in understanding more about our own needs and finding our peace. But boy is it tough sometimes! These are great suggestions on how to get there. Thanks so much for sharing!
great post thanks for sharing ity
I feel like we tell a lot of these to our 12 year old every day! Lol.
“It is a painful thing to look at your own trouble and know that you yourself and no one else has made it.” <– That’s real talk!
Yes, so many people love to point fingers and do not want to accept responsiblity for their own behaviour and actions. I will definetly be auto sharing on webtalk tomorrow and it goes to linkedin slack facebook and twitter too, but I am blocked on twitter so just the others. More sites coming with the app in 2021. Please see my post to reciprocate, thank you.
Thank you so much for writing this insightful article about taking responsibility. I couldn’t agree more and I also learned a few additional tips!
wow! soo much truth in this post.
taking responsibility for your life and changing your situation is the best thing you can do for your life.
thanks for sharing.
truly awesome post!
I agree with all of these methods. It is so powerful when you learn that you can take responsibility for your own life.
It can be hard to take responsibility. A bit like adulting, I think. But definitely an important step in life!
changing my own attitude towards life during these months has made the difference, I feel more confident, in control and happy. you wrote this on 2019 and it is still very meaningful, thank you!
Great article! Thank you for sharing.
In my early 20’s it was tough to take responsibility but now that I’m a little removed from those years lol it’s a little easier. These are great tips and I’m sorry for your cousin. But I know plenty of fully grown adults still blaming the world for their problems.
These are great tips! Can be very hard to take responsibility but comes with maturity. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
You are totally right
So much truth in this post…. I need to share this with a few of my coworkers…
Taking responsibility is so important. Good advice.
Words cant even describe how much I love this post. There are so many people in the world looking for the quick way to deal with anything by dumping it on someone else or pointing fingers at someone else, that it makes things difficult. It’s ok if you fail, screw up, mess up, or something doesnt go right. It doesnt have to be someone’s fault. It just happens.
This was so informative and so thorough. I can really relate to the importance of taking personal responsibility. We can create new opportunities in life when we start taking personal responsibility for our actions. Great info!
Love this post! We should all be accountable and responsible for our lives, making excuses and blaming others never help! Great advice!
Everyone in today’s world blames someone else for their problems. Nobody has the courage to look in the mirror and admit that they, too, are guilty. Great tips, thanks for sharing.
Love the message you’re sending. It’s so easy to blame others and to not look to our actions. We are the creators of our own reality. Therefore, the responsibility is ours. Thank you for the inspiring read.
Informative, well written and I wish many of us could read and follow these easy tips to make life easier or friendlier.
It is so easy to point at others as the cause of your problems. The day that you start bending that finger towards yourself, that day you will start to take control of your actions and get everything put in place in your life.
Love what you said about how taking responsibility brings you from victim to champ! It’s so helpful to stop the complaining and start focusing on positive self-talk. The more we focus on positive, the more we notice the positive!
I need to take more in charge in life
Such a great post. It is so easy to blame everyone else and never take responsibility. You made great points. We must take responsibility for our actions and learn from our mistakes to grow and do better in life. It’s not always someone else’s fault. Thank you for sharing this encouraging post. I really enjoyed reading it. 😊
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Letstakeamoment.com
This is a fantastic post, I think taking responsibility for your part in any process whether positive or negative frees you and releases you to move forward, which I believe you were saying also..
Taking responsibility for our actions is the fastest way to get ahead. This is a great post and awesome tips on how to go about doing that. Thank you for sharing!