Helping people find their dream

We all need help in our lives.

Life is full of challenges. No one escapes it.

I truly believe that everything that happens to us is ten percent. Ninety percent depends on if you get up and face the reality of life.

For many of us, 2020 will go down as the worst year of our lives.

In 2020, my wife got diagnosed with cancer, I faced unemployment, a friend committed suicide and both my parents are 83.

When we are faced with a challenge, the easiest thing to do is crawl and hide. I wanted to do that. I did not want to ask for help. I was challenged to ask for help. The response to my help was overwhelming.

People started driving Debbie to her appointments for chemo, radiation, and other appointments. Friends and neighbors made sure we were fed. People were lining up to repair our fence. Women would give my daughter makeup and all kinds of goodies.

Asking for help is not a sign of weakness but a sign of strength. As we enter 2021, I strongly recommend that if you are facing issues that you get help. It will be a game-changer in your life.

Hannah Siller has a Master of Science in Counseling with an Emphasis in Trauma and Crisis (MC). She is a life coach and also blogs on many issues covered here in this interview. I have learned a lot from her blog as she goes into details on various topics covered in this interview.

Hannah, welcome to Four Columns. I want to know something important about you?

Mental health is my life. I have a master’s in counseling with an emphasis in trauma and crisis and am currently a doctoral candidate in psychology (PsyD.). This passion was born from my own struggle growing up in an abusive home and suffer from complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). My main goal in life is to make sure that everything I went through was not in vain. I have done this through my experience as a clinical counselor and by educating others about mental health and raising awareness of trauma with my blog and public speaking. The trauma will never go away but if I can help others then that is enough.

Talk to me about what is life coaching? What is your approach as a life coach?

Life coaching is the basic level of support a person can get with the difficult things that life throws at us. It is mostly for people with situational distress such as divorce, career changes or to help manage personally viewed flaws like organization and improving communication skills. I personally have a background in clinical therapy/counseling, so my approach is very similar to traditional mental health support. Nonjudgment is my number one goal. I’m here to help the client find the best of them possible. Only they will know what that looks like. I like to think of myself as a dream maker. Helping them find their dream and get there.

I get confused between a life coach and a counselor. Is there a difference?

There is a huge difference between Coaching and traditional therapy/counseling! The biggest difference is diagnosis. Only a licensed therapist/counselor can diagnose an individual. This is important because if they cannot diagnose, they can also not treat an individual. Therefore, they cannot work with a client that NEEDS diagnosis and treatment. This limits their scope of practice to issues not in the diagnostic manual (DSM-5).

Can: Stress, non-clinical anxiety, life changes, health, and career.

Can’t: Depression, trauma, clinical anxiety, Bipolar disorders, and so on.

I got laid off, lost two of my closest friends, the wife got diagnosed with cancer, all in a short time? How do you help someone in a situation like that?

The foundation of a situation like this is going to be grief. There is a lot of loss hitting all at once and in a variety of different ways. Not only will this individual need to vent and process all of the changes they are experiencing but they will need to sort out the questions of what next? This might look like finding new forms of support systems, learning self-care techniques to cope, gaining access to resource information to help manage the bigger situations like job and wife’s medical needs, and assessing personal emotional state.

I want to know how we can use patience, kindness, gentleness, compassion, charity, unconditional love, grace, and forgiveness in being allies of mental health?

Being an ally for mental health comes down to empathy. Rather than judgment, we can try to understand the things that others struggle with. Through empathy, we find the motivation to learn about things we don’t understand in order to understand it better. Through empathy, we are more willing to practice patience, kindness, gentleness, compassion, charity, unconditional love, grace, and forgiveness. Empathy allows us to care for others as we would care for ourselves. When we can do this, we can be an ally the world needs.

How important are eating, sleeping, and self-care as part of our health?

Mental health and physical health go hand in hand. When we don’t take care of our mental health our physical health suffers. We have less desire to eat healthy, exercise, and take care of ourselves. Likewise. When we don’t take care of our physical health it can actually impact our mental health increasing the chances of developing depression and lower self-esteem.

In the last couple of years, what are you noticing about your patients?

The main pattern I have noticed is a decrease in people’s knowledge about self-care and emotional regulations. I would say half of my sessions are focused on teaching breathing techniques, education, and problem-solving self-care options, and helping clients learn how to manage their emotions in a positive way.

What is your Fav Disney movie?

Lion King (animated) although Belle is my favorite Disney Princess.

Why are you fascinated with Harry Potter?

I grew up in an abusive home at the same time that the Harry Potter books were released. These books became my escape. As I got older the books got darker and more serious just as I myself was coming to terms with the abuse I had faces. The subject of grieving the pain of things lost was huge. Harry took a horrible tragedy and accepted his fate in all of it. In the end, he was stronger because he chose to love and forgive rather than giving into pain that should have broken him.

Why do you like Star Wars?

Princess Leia was the first strong female role model I was exposed to. This left a lasting impact on me. Plus, lightsabers are cool, and Harrison Ford is in it and I’m obsessed with Indiana Jones.

I want to know some of your favorite books? 

The Harry Potter series followed closely by Pride and Prejudice and Little Woman.

What do you like about gaming?

I have been playing Dungeons and Dragon-type games for almost 10 years, not counting the brief encounter I had in high school. There is something very therapeutic about this type of gaming. Being part of a group that counts on your contribution, having a similar goal you have to work together to achieve, plus the pure creative joy. In D&D you get to be the hero. So much of my own struggle and positive qualities come through in your characters. It is a beautiful experience.

What is your favorite object to photograph?

My absolute favorite type of photography I have ever done is starscapes. But since I rarely have access to several thousand-dollar specialized telescopes I usually photograph my second favorite subject, nature. Although recently most of my effort has been dedicated to my niece and have become my sister’s private photographer.

Is writing cathartic for you?

I write a great deal about my own struggle with mental health as well as my childhood trauma and abuse. With subject matter like this it can actually be incredibly stressful and draining. I don’t do it because the act brings me joy and relaxation. I do it because I have the ability to make a difference with my story and knowledge. Helping others, that’s what makes it worth it.

What are your current projects?

I have two major projects currently active.

The first is my personal blogging project “Diary of a Trauma Survivor.” This project focuses on my own story of childhood abuse and discusses the way trauma impacts our lives. The goal of this project is education and awareness. For so long trauma, especially abuse, has been a taboo subject. With this has come an increase in stigma and a decrease in the intervention. Through my story, I hope to help those who struggle with trauma as well as help those without experience to understand.

My second project is called the This Is Me Mental Health Representation Project. This is a collaboration project that is open to all forms of creative expression that depict what mental health means. The goal of this project is to raise awareness of the mental health struggles that everyone faces. Since not all those struggles are writers this project uses a unique approach of allowing artists and poets to participate. Don’t consider yourself creative? Interview questions are also available for those who have a story to share but not sure how to start.